A God in an Undying Land
by Khaos' Champion
Summary: I should never have ended up in Drangleic, nor Lordran for that matter. Can't change that now though, for it was such a long time ago. Don't think I'll ever forget.
1. Land of the Undying

**Finally got round to re-writing the first two chapters of this mess.  
Will probably try and re-write chapter 3 in a little bit, but I want to get a few more of the later chapters written first.  
** **Feedback is always welcome.  
Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the mess.**

* * *

Hello to you, dear reader.

Suppose I should start by telling you who I am.

I am his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer of the Erebayan empire and well...also the being you humans refer to as god. Not that bastard Jehovah or that horny old bastard Zeus, nor any of the other cunts that believe they rule the heavens.

You however, dear reader, need not concern yourself with the petty politics of deities or my empire or the fact I don't act out my role etc. so on and so forth.

And that is all I'm going to say on the matter for the moment, I rather despise being a god, it's not as fun as you might think.

Now, as I am writing this the year is 1999, October the 23rd to be precise and what a century it has been. Started it off in China, fighting off those damned Boxers.

By 50 I was in Korea fighting the Chinese again, along with North Koreans and now in 99 I'm in Japan.

Thankfully I'm not fighting, had enough of soldiering for now.

I actually have quite the mundane job of landlord now, I own some student accommodation and I am bored out of my bleeding skull. Hence why I'm writing down some of my past.

You may have also gathered by now that I have been on this planet and amongst you humans for awhile.

I was on this planet long before you monkeys evolved...sorry.

I should probably warn you now that I write like I speak. I also get sidetracked quite a bit too, especially when music is involved which is apparently a lot. My eldest son tells me I never shut up about it, the cheeky little shit.

I'm also not the best of writers, so please do bear with me.

Anyway, shall we get on with this little mess that started roughly 130 billion years ago, in a universe that I may have ever so slightly, brutally destroyed.

It was in the year 5637 of the imperial calendar, a few years after a nasty little war between my people and the Reapers. I don't think I need to explain what they do.

We had come to peace and merged our two empires into one with myself and their empress co-ruling. Before you think so, we were not married.

I should never have found myself in the land of Drangleic, but I did and how was that I hear none of you asking?

Alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.

A week prior to my little trip I was taken from our home realm of Erebay by several nobles wanting to curry favour with me.

This time I had been taken to a planet I had never been to before, though similar to others I had been willingly dragged to. You know, it was covered in humans and spoke languages that I knew, plenty of public houses etc.

I was content and so, we drank for an entire week straight.

An entire week of boozing...I'm thankful I'm not human, cos' I can't die and I also like my liver. Trust me when I say that, the amount we drank in four hours would require you humans to need your stomachs pumped. It would possibly kill you.

We took no breaks, just moving on and on, to this public house, to this tavern.

On the seventh day I found myself separated from the group of nobles and I mean really, really lost.

I, being stupidly drunk, walked...stumbled for a few hours trying to find the stupid cunts, to no avail.

Whilst my memories of this is quite muddled, the land was beautiful the way it was bathed in twilight as it was.

Moonlight crept on through the fog ladened branches, creating intricate swirls in the misty white.

The trees had little foliage on them, dead almost.

You could possibly pass the forest off as haunted, to me however it was stunningly beautiful.

Through this forest I walked for hours, thinking that the sun must be close to rising, but it never came.

It wasn't winter there, so it shouldn't have been so dark for so long.

Eventually I found myself at a little cottage, perhaps my friends were inside or even better, there could be more beer.

Unfortunately for me there was neither, only an ugly old crone cackling madly to herself behind a spinning wheel. You know, as old crones are like to do.

The old bat managed to stop her cackling for a moment and asked me a question; this being whether or not I had lost something, or something I had forgotten.

Well, I had lost my 'friends' and was sort of looking for them, so what do you think my answer was?

If you answered yes, you're wrong.

I wasn't actually thinking about my 'friends', but the fact I was feeling a trifle thirsty.

Alright, that might be a lie. I just like my drink.

I asked the crone if she had anything and was offered a pitiful amount of brandy, which was downed in one go.

The crone then informed me that if I wished to find that which I sought (She mentioned fame and glory, I assumed more alcohol) I was to keep on walking the path I'd been on.

"And where is it I walk?" My speech was slurred, but the gist was carried.

"You walked to the ruins of an ancient gatehouse, situated at the end of a great lake. You find the gatehouse and you find what you seek," The last part she laughed ominously.

It wasn't until later that I picked up on the laughter.

I did however back away from the crone, having lost all interest.

It took a few minutes to get myself orientated which I shouldn't have needed, seeing as there was only one path.

I may have gone the wrong way, for drunk me has a gift for getting lost, along with getting up to stupid shit.

Though to my defence, everything looked the same to me.

After backtracking I found the cottage and was on my way again; it took me the better part of the night to find the bloody gatehouse.

What remained of this fortification was magnificent, one could only speculate what it should have looked like in it's glory days.

So busy was I drunkenly admiring the architecture that I was caught off guard by, what seemed like, millions of fireflies burning in the early morning gloom.

I was completely blinded by the tiny pests, and to the point of such disorientation that I ran slap bang into the lake.

Well, it would have been a lake if not for the great bloody hole that had opened up in it.

The next part was like out of one of them old Yankee cartoons, you know the ones where the character is left suspended over a bottomless pit and tries their best to stay up.

All I was missing was a little sign saying 'oh fuck!' before plummeting.

Thinking back now, that hole was less of a hole and more or a whirlpool/vortex which looked strikingly similar to the dark-sign, though to you dear reader it means nothing.

Regardless of what it looks like, all you need to know is that I feel in.

I suppose you might feel fear, but myself, I felt at home. It was like before the birth of reality, a gently, warming dark.

A wondrously beautiful thing, something you will never know. A true shame.

The strangest thing however was that even though I was falling at some lick, I was being lulled to sleep by the gentle dark.

If only it would have stayed that way.

…

…

…

When I awoke from my dreamless slumber, I was on the floor under a pagoda or a bandstand like thing that you'd find in a park. Not that it matters either way, you should probably be able to imagine the structure.

The pagoda was sat within a grassy clearing, itself within a cavern.

Great trees filled the surrounding, spreading off as far as the eye could see. Lapping around their bases was water, another great lake.

The rest of the space was filled with intricate rock formations and all was bathed in a ghostly light, trickling in through a crack in the ceiling.

A perpetual twilight, not too dissimilar to Anor Londo under Gwyndolin's disgusting magic, but more on the city of 'gods' later.

Upon my first attempt to stand I was struck with such terrible nausea that flooded my entire body. I truly thought I was dying.

This is what I got for a week long bender, really good thing I can't die.

My head was filled with concrete and my bones lead, I collapsed heavily in a pile with my sword sharply jabbing my side.

The memories of the prior week also came back, with the exception of how I had gotten to my current location.

Something about fireflies and crones, not much else.

That wasn't really my main concern though, that would be the headache that would have killed a mortal...also the fact I had no idea where I was. Should probably have started with that one.

Goodness though, this bloody hangover was pretty bad.

I pushed the thought of my hangover from my head and turned my mind to answers, specifically wanting them.

Several attempts were made to get me to my feet and on the eighth I succeeded; my sword continued to break my fall and painfully at that.

I know of the phrase fall on your sword, but don't do it literally.

Hobbling my way from the stand and through a thicket, there was another clearing.

Dead grass littered with human remains decorated it, small creatures skittered this way and that.

One crawled past my leg, not interested in me.

Cobalts they were, ugly little things with razor sharp teeth that make sort work of flesh, as made evident by the piles of human bones.

One stopped close by, flashing the needle like pearly whites and received a good kick from me.

The thing's neck snapped back and it fell limply to the floor.

Several others sniffed around the corpse, hissed at me and backed off.

My first kill in this forsaken world, a damned cobalt.

This little clearing was surrounded by a wall of rock, which had a conveniently placed crack running through it.

Through the crack was a garden of all things and not a well kept one. I can't really say much though, I'm not a gardener. The only thing that I've ever planted are mines and they don't bloom into anything nice...well, a pretty pink flower that mists the air.

Most of the ground was mush, as was most of the stuff 'growing' and I use that word lightly; a small stream was feeding the swampy ground and had been cleverly diverted into the closest tree stump.

The stump had been hollowed out and made into a home.

Each window glowed brightly, a fire inside reflecting and it was very inviting.

And the smell of a wood burning was ever so inviting and so I decided to let myself in, which you should never do.

Ignoring everything else in the tree stump, I focused on the fire and let me tell you, I could have happily curled up and died in front of it.

A cough drew me from the flames, if only the gormless look had been washed from my face too.

When my brain finally caught up I realised that the room was filled with more crones and one maid, all staring at me. At least I think the crones were staring, could have been cataracts for all I know.

There was only one, the crone closest to the fire, that wasn't staring.

She slowly turned her wizened face my way and smiled, ""What did that old dear tell you, heh? That you would find what it was you were seeking here. Well, I'm afraid you will only find death as you will die over and over. Your memories already starting to fade, do you even recall your own name?"

What now?

The hell was this bint on about?  
Fading memories and do I remember my on bloody name?

This old bat was fucking senile.

I almost lost my composure and flipped out at the old woman.

"My name happens to be his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer, of the Erebayan empire. My memories are fine, with the exception of last night, although I do recall that old hag telling me my friends could possible be here. Wherever here actually is."

My world suddenly blurred, a horrid queasiness racked my body and so I latched onto the closest thing to me, as not to fall over.

'Deep breaths, John,' I mentally whispered, resisting the urge to vomit.

The thing I had latched onto then asked if I was alright, turns out I had grabbed the maid.

"I'm fine, my dear, just had a little bit too much to drink last night," I lied through my teeth, of course I wasn't alright. The hangover was in full swing now.

The feeling then passed and I was able to stand unaided.

The main crone had ignored what just passed and continued as if I hadn't spoken before.

"You are hollowing obviously. You _will_ eventually lose your soul, young undead."

She laughed and handed me this strange black thing. I was informed that it was a human effigy.

"Yes...look deeply at it. That's right, it's you."

When I say an effigy, I mean it looked vaguely humanoid and actually closer to my actual form when not inside this flesh puppet.

I dropped the thing and crushed it beneath my booted heel.

"A human effigy won't do me much good, I'd have to _be_ human first," It was then I went I _naked_ and instantly regretted it.

That doesn't mean that stripped off my clothing, by the way. It means I showed them what a pure-born Erebayan looks like.

The problem with doing that, however, was the effects of the hangover were multiplied.

Why this is the case, considering I'm technically incorporeal, I don't know.

Quickly I returned my body and hit the floor, retching as my stomach flipped. I still didn't vomit thank goodness, but I was embarrassed.

Then made a mental note never to do that again.

The crones and maid were visibly in shock, not me being rather ill but my _naked_ form.

"What are you?" The eldest crone asked.

"I think the word you humans would use is god," I croaked.

I really do hate saying that, makes me sound up my own arse.

"As for being undead," I continued, "I can't die."  
There is something similar to death for we Erebayans, but we're not actually dead. That and it is possible to kill a pure-born, but there aren't many of us who can. There are only about a twenty of us, including me, that can strip an Erebayan of their immortality.

Then there are those of us that doesn't work on and I'm rambling about something you don't care about.

Apologies.

I grabbed the closest stool and took a seat, fearing my legs might give out.

"Could you kindly stop the bullshit? I'm lost, confused and very much hungover, I'm in no fucking mood," My temper flared and stood, drawing my sword, "Tell me what the hell's going or I'll cut an answer out of you!"

A little theatrical perhaps and the elder crone saw right through the threat.

"Young man," She replied calmly, "I have lived a long enough life not to be scared by some fool waving a sword in my face. My sisters likewise."

The look she gave me…

"Even if you are what you claim to be I wouldn't explain a single thing. Now, please leave this place and do not return. You will find someone with more answers a little ways from here," The crone's voice was cold.

Well, what was I really expecting?

Of course threatening someone unsuccessfully would end in me being kicked out the house.

The young maid pointed to the door.

I stopped by the elder crone and placed my hand on her own. Eyes widened, as she was allowed a brief look inside my mind.

"Forgive me, I forget myself," I didn't know what else to say and released my hand, intent on leaving.

The crone's hand shot out and grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"I don't know what you are, but the one thing I can say is you're not a god of this world. They have all been and gone. The Sunlight King in his far away land has flickered into nought but darkness and the other gods abandoned these lands centuries ago. Maybe we need a god to help us end it all."

She let go and I left without another word.

Stepping back outside I found another garden with a small fire burning weakly.

This other garden was surrounded by a tangled mass of dead bush, tightly packed like barbed wire and it probably would have acted like such, if I had to go directly through it.

Someone, long ago, had grown parts of the bush in a way that had created an archway and I can only assume at one point it looked nice.

Past the archway of dead bushes the cavern opened up again, not that there was much to see.

More of the giant trees rose from the lake like great pillars, holding up the cavern's ceiling.

The path was more or less defined, easy enough to follow.

Actually, if you were to stray from the path you would find yourself falling some distance into the lake below, seeing as the sides of the path had eroded.

The gloomy dark failed to hide the waterline from me as it sat motionless around the base of the path.

I took my time navigating the precarious walkways, with the nausea coming and going sporadically, each time being different. The headache wasn't helping all to much either, pulsing behind my eyes like steam hammer gone mad.

It got to the point I had to stop for a bit of a breather; I had stumbled across this lovely little beach in between two of the great trees.

It was a bit of a trek down from the main path, but worth it for the desolate beauty of the area.

I sat at the waters edge, boots off, feet soaking and it was glorious.

I was still deathly ill, but it was a welcome distraction.

The sand was soft, ash like almost.

The gentle lap of the water on the shore was soothing to say the least and I found myself fixated on a carved stone coffin, just a little way out.

My time was cut short when two fuck ugly cyclopean ogres appeared towered above me, one brandishing a small tree as a club.

That was my queue to leg it as fast as my aching body could take me. I'm glad there was nothing sharp on the ground, cos' running barefoot isn't great and running barefoot with stuff sticking in your soles is worse.

After I was at a considerable distance from the ogres I put my boots back on and continued forward.

The path, as all things must, came to an end.

A wide tunnel had been created in the rock face, not naturally either judging by the evident tool marks.

You could smell the damp on entering, followed by the quiet echo of water dropping into small pools. Some were deceptively deep, as I discovered when water suddenly filled my left boot.

I pushed on regardless and for another half hour I stumbled.

The nausea once again becoming unbearable, the only thing curbing the feeling was a sweet breeze flowing in ahead of me. The subtle scent of salt told me that I was close to the coast.

I picked up the pace, needing the fresh air over stale.

Golden light illuminated slick walls, I was close.

The mouth of the tunnel revealed itself, light pouring in and leaving me half blind.

I stopped, waiting for my sight to clear.

Dawn was revealed before my eyes, the sun just above the horizon.

I was on a cliff overlooking a natural cove; the ground was chalky, with little tufts of grass poking out here and there.

There was evidence of a fence having once skirted the edge of the cliff, but only a few rotted posts remained.

The view could almost pass as idyllic, as long as you didn't look to your left.

The dreary little town of Majula sat below me half covered by early morning mist, making it look smaller than it actually was. Only four building were visible, three small and one large manor house. More was hidden away, but I wouldn't find anything else 'til later.

Down I went with my legs growing heavier with each step, I needed a proper rest.

I passed under the remains of an old stone arch and into the town, looking this way and that for any signs of life.

Nothing but the crackling of a lonesome bonfire, but no one tending it.

I walked over and warmed my hands, not that I needed to. The feeling was nice all the same.

Then out the corner of my eye I saw a figure looking out to sea.

They were stood by a single tree.

I approached and they turned.

It was a woman, young looking, half her face covered by her bangs. It was a little like mine, with the exception the woman's hair being shorter.

There wasn't really anything else I could focus on, my vision was starting to blur.

She mutter something, 'bearer, seek, seek, lest' or some such bollocks and then, "Are you okay?"

My hangover, chose then off all times, decided to sneak up on my and hammer my belly with a damned club. My stomach lurched and I vomited, somewhat violently.

I believe I caught the young woman...whoops.

That was it, I hit the flood and darkness overtook me.

How embarrassing!

Consciousness came to me in bits and pieces, but I was never awake for more than a minute, with one exception.

I found myself plummeting over the cliff and into the waters below, that were a bit of a wake-up call. Good thing I could swim.

There was no easy way back either, so I had to climb.

Hand over hand, I painfully pulled myself up and passed out again upon reaching the top.

Unconsciousness dulled whatever sell-inflicted pain I had brought upon myself. Suppose I should tell you to be careful with drink, don't be daft.

Now, I did eventually wake and that was equally as unpleasant.

My body ached, muscles stiff, joints cracking and popping, and a throat like sandpaper.

Very slowly, I propped myself and found a beautiful little kitty curled up against my hip. The fluffy thing was purring happily away, fast asleep.

To my other side was the bonfire, the one I had warmed my hands over and sat on a rock close by was the young woman, she looked less than happy.

I tried to to say something, but was reduced to a hacking cough.

The kitty was very much startled and bolted to it's feet, glaring angrily at me in the way only cats can, you know the one.

It was staring and then spoke…

"You could have warned me! I was very happy there."

...That cat spoke. Perhaps I was still feeling the effects of alcohol, thus I ignore the cat.

In my stupor, the young woman had gone off into the closest building and returned with a pewter mug, filled with water.

Water, cool and refreshing ran down the old gullet, such a glorious thing it was.

What I really needed to be alright was a classic bacon sandwich, with all the grease. That's the true miracle cure.

Placing down the mug, I looked over to the woman and managed a 'sorry' in a rather weak voice.

"Three long days," She kept her voice low and repeated, "Three long days, you were in and out of consciousness and you've been nothing but trouble."

I had a feeling she wasn't that happy with me.

A light blush formed on my cheeks, though on my pale skin it looked like I was glowing.

"Trouble?" I swallowed.

The woman's eyes narrowed.

"Firstly, you turn up in such an abhorrent state, you then proceeded to vomit everywhere, including on me and then you pass out. After that I was trying to make sure you didn't kill your self. By the way, did you enjoy your swim yesterday?"She sneered, "You really did try your best to end your own life, but here you are...alive."

She sighed and kicked up dirt.

"What are you doing here? There's no dark-sign on your body, meaning you're not undead."

I didn't fucking know and I told her such.

"And what's a dark-sign when it's at home? Also a hollow for that matter?"

"Are you touched?" The woman groaned, "A hollow was someone afflicted by the undead curse, they die and resurrect. Every time they come back, they lose part of their soul, eventually hollowing, becoming mindless and attack anything. They are known by the dark-sign which brands their bodies."

I blinked several times in response the her answer, "I'm sorry you've lost me again...souls?"

"You really don't have a clue about this place, do you?" Her brow furrowed, realising that I shouldn't be in the land of Drangleic.

"I just want to find my friends and go home, there haven't been any fellows like me that have come through," I stood, letting the blanket I had been wrapped in pooled round my feet and went _naked_ briefly. On returning to my normal body, I found that too was naked and the clothes I had been wearing were neatly folded next to the pooled blanket.

The young woman had a mix of shock and embarrassment on her face, then threw her hands up shielding her eyes.

I still don't understand you humans and your modesty, it's a fucking body, it's natural.

To save the poor woman from dying of shock, I put my clothes back on. Come to think of it, she stripped me in the first place, thus she would have already seen me.

It don't matter.

I then explained what I was, before she could ask that bleeding question.

"And I gather that this dark sign appears on the body somewhere and you didn't find it when you took my clothes off. Thank you for removing and drying them anyway, would have been frightful if I'd caught a col-"

The woman punched me, which is understandable. It wasn't a good punch though and I think she hurt her hand a little.

"Do you think you're funny, bastard!" She spat, "And if it were up to me, I would have tossed you back into the sea."

"Now, now," The cat raised her head, sleepily, " _I_ asked you to look after this strange fellow."

The cat brushed up against my leg.

I picked the ball of fluff up, until we were face to face.

"Just to put my mind at ease, you did just speak?"

The kitty sniffed at me a few times and I started to worry that I was going mad.

"Yes, I did speak. My name's Shalquoir, some say sweet," The cat wriggled and so I put her down, "The girl in the green cloak is Shanalotte. She is a guide to those undead, unfortunate enough to find themselves in this land."

This Shanalotte huffed, pulled the cloak's hood up and sat back on her rock.

"I couldn't just let Shanalotte leave you in such a state," Shalquoir continued, "You have such a curious scent, not human and not a lord, I couldn't help be be intrigued."

Oh that's lovely. I wasn't looked after because of common decency, but because I had a nice scent.

"And now I know what you are...well, I don't, but you're not undead. You said a god, yes" The cat asked, hopping up onto Shanalotte's knee.

I nodded.

"My, we've had plenty through here, but never a god."

The woman in the green cloak scoffed, "For all we know it could be some form of allusion magic"

Did she just call me a wytch?

She bloody well did!

I kept myself calm; I wouldn't threaten her like I had the crones. She didn't know of my dislike of magic users.

"One of my kind, a long time ago, met a similar being," Shalquoir looked up at me, "What she described, both smell and sight are similar."

That couldn't be true though. If an Erebayan had been here before, we would have all know about it.

"A void-born wanderer," The ball of fluff followed up with, then fell quickly asleep

It had to be someone else. Had to be!

I passed the notion off a fanciful and tried to change the topic.

"So, what's going on here?"

Shanalotte huffed and spewed forth some bored rhetoric, as if she had said the lines thousands of times before.

"This land is in the grips of a curse, you are also suffering," She stopped and corrected herself, "Those suffering from the curse are drawn here. They come here in search of a cure, to seek the king and great souls, so that they may become powerful enough to fight on."

Seek greater and more powerful souls, those were the words she had spoken to me before my little blackout.

I asked about the curse itself, but the brunette before me had no idea except it was ancient and it had perhaps come from another land. Don't you just hate it went foreign plagues make their way to your land and wipe out most of the population. At least with the black death the buggers actually stayed dead. Another parallel being that medical science wasn't really a thing yet, not that I think medical science can explain un-death. Not even my lot have been able to figure that part out, just that it's incredibly wrong. Less on that for now though.

This problem, I thought, wasn't really mine. All I needed to do was find a way to get home and continue avoiding being an emperor. That's where _my_ problem began, I didn't exactly know how to get home and neither did the herald.

"Not my concern," She brushed away a strand of hair, "I only guide the poor, unfortunate wretches that filter in. You are not one of them, so I don't care."

Frigid bitch.

"Well then, it looks like me and you are going to be here a long time. Why don't we get to know each other better."

The woman cleared her throat and pointed to a dip, leading away from Majula. This dip coincided with a path.

"Perhaps you should go that way."

I had the funniest feeling that the woman didn't want me hanging around.

"There's a coastal fortress not four days walk away. Perhaps you may find something there, to help you get home."

Oh well, of course I took a bite of the bate. Anything to get home, yes?

The prospect of home out did anything else I was thinking at the time and so I jumped to my feet, ready to go.

Making sure that the dip was the correct way to go, I set off, turning on my heels and walked backwards. I had been frightfully rude.

"It seems I have neglected to tell you my name, you who have cared for me these past few days. I am his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer," Still walking backwards, I gave a dramatic bow and promptly fell flat on my arse.

In my want to be a show off, so to say, I neglected my sword which had found itself tangled round my leg and tripped me up.

The herald never battered an eyelid, nor did she ask me if I was alright. In fact she turned away from me, stroking away at the cat.

I just continued on my merry way, after dusting myself off and making sure my breeches had no tears in them. The ground was quite rocky and well, no-one really wants to see my bum on display.

And so, I entered the underground passage on the way to my target destination, not once thinking that Shanalotte had only told me to find the fortress to get me out of her hair.

This fact wouldn't dawn on me for some time, thus I forged on in hope I would be home within the week.


	2. Grave of Giants

This coastal fortress was a bit of an awkward place to get to. It wasn't around four days through distance, but because of the density of the forests and the lack of definable paths. Saying that though, my word, what a gorgeous place it was.

We didn't have this kind of thing back in Erebay, all we had was either flat grassland or rolling hills of white grass and the odd sparse tree.

There was a beautiful sweetness in the air, the damp scent of decaying plant matter and the colours. Spring had just returned to the land, every branch awash with the colour of new life. Was nature mocking those humans afflicted with the undead curse; I wouldn't put it past her either, the being you refer to as mother nature is a bit of a cunt. We have never really seen eye to eye, but as I say she's a cunt.

Sorry, where was I?

The forest seemed to go on forever, but the thickets were becoming a bit a nuisance. Luckily enough for me my sword was perfect for hacking away at pesky bushes.

The sword itself is what we refer to as a _Schtoka-marra_ or sword-axe. _Schara_ for short.

You humans would know it as a Khopesh, more in the style of the Egyptian Khopesh with the stabbing point, over the more rounded/flat tip of the Canaanite style.

Very similar to the swords of your ancestors really, bronze cast and everything. I believe I can guess what you're thinking. A bronze sword, aren't they primitive?

I'd say yes and no, cut just as well as iron or steel and will kill a man as easily. They're cheap and inexpensive to maintain, and you don't need a skilled smith to make and maintain one. They do loose their edge rather quickly, but a bit of hammer work will sort that out. They are also short and supposed to be used with shields, which I have never used because I'm daft.

It's been a favourite sword of mine for, well, millennia. I've only used one other type of sword, but I'll tell you about that one later. Spoilers and whatnot.

Now, hacking my way as I did through these thickets was, whilst easy, a pain in the arse because they, like the trees, seemed never ending.

You would be forgiven for thinking it was the deep jungle, all I was missing was my khakis and pith helmet.

All the same, I was an explorer in a new land and round every corner there could be something new. A little after sunset on the first day I happened across a village, nestled within the trees and a sizeable village too.

I had though that with this curse that the land would be uninhabited and barren, but I was wrong. There were still people living, thriving and the world kept on turning.

These people were obviously weary of me. Still I was granted the pleasure of using a cold, hard floor as a bed. At least the weather was warm.

The following morning I was shooed away by one of the village elders, telling me to please not come back. They didn't want the plague visiting them you see, but can you blame them.

I found a second village several miles past the first, but I was not granted entrance. The same happened with the third and the fourth. This all being within the second day of my wandering, thus onwards I pushed. Not once did I eat or sleep (I don't really need to do either, but it helps and you know, good food and a decent kip does all the world of good.), just continued to weave my way through the trees.

Around half a day before I reached the fortress, I could smell it. The salt air that is, I was looking forward to that sea breeze.

I've never been one for the sea, but every now and again it's fine.

As the fourth day's sun crept it's way towards the heavens, I entered the second of many cave systems I was to traverse during my time in Drangleic. A rich, damp earthen smell hit me and the rush of a stream close by filled my ears.

Someone before me had built a bridge over the stream, now engorged and furious. Nothing but a simple rope bridge, but it beat getting wet.

It was also around this time that I came across my first hollow.

A ghastly fellow he was, little skin remaining on his face and a stump where the left arm should have been. What little flesh did remain was a pallid sickly green.

Poor fellow, unable to rest as he was.

The knife he carried in his left was still sharp and a wicked little blade it was, not that it ever touched me.

I managed to disarm the hollow with a draw cut and followed up with a hack to the neck, dropping the undead corpse. My skill with a blade back then was not as it is now, I suppose I was lucky in my technique.

I studied my fallen foe a moment, spying a glowing orb sitting atop the now still chest.

A soul, the first I had seen.

If I were a Reaper I could collect it, hold it in my hands but I am not. Trying to pick one up is like, to you, picking up the air.

My kind do not possess souls and cannot interact with them.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have one of my own. I think it must be a very warm thing for a being to want to cling to it, something comforting maybe? Soft and gentle?

It's not for me to know however and I have bigger things to worry about.

I must say though that I have never seen this anywhere else, only Drangleic and Lordran.

A distant moan pulled me away from the corpse, a second hollow shambling into view with a broken sword hilt grasped firmly in it's failing hands.

Another that fell quickly to my sword. Likewise the following several were dispatched with ease and the faint glow of a soul floated to the surface.

A little beyond the path became more defined. The engorged stream I had crossed earlier had swollen into a fully blown river and it hugged the path. It added a pleasing sound, more so when the rain started. Only a light shower and not something that would soak me through. Now if it had been wet rain like mizzle or drizzle every inch of my being would have been wet to the bone.

A little bit of damp linen wasn't going to get me down.

Then it appeared before me, this adorable little grotto with a bonfire at it's centre. Tucked away behind a bend in the river, shallow enough to cross over to and it was all mine.

The bonfire was almost similar to the one in Majula, coiled sword buried deep within the ash.

It would've been rude not to have sat down a few moments or an hour.

Two undead came and went, talking to me briefly. One a baron of some distant land I'd never heard of and his servant. I couldn't care less about their plight, but wished them well anyway.

Neither seemed well equipped, but coming from me it really means nothing. I was wearing a shirt, breeches and boots. My only weapon the aforementioned sword.

No armour, no weapon suitable for getting past armour etc. so on and so forth.

I would learn my lesson.

As time ticked on, I knew I couldn't stay at the grotto bonfire much longer. Looking around a final time I was taken back, it wasn't a grotto but part of an outer fortification. The collapsed remnants of a watchtower.

I was close to my destination or so I hoped.

The river as my guide took me forwards through a destroyed village, great trees of a different kind I had walked through burst through cottage roofs. They looked as if they had sprouted arms and legs.

I made it to one of the inner towers of the main fort and she alone must have been a wondrous sight in her prime. This place had been a battleground not that long ago, a decade at most. Bleached bone and smashed armour were abundant and more of the giant trees.

I got a closer look at some of the rusted weaponry embedded in the wood, had some of these men attacked the trees in some form of maddened frenzy?

So caught up was I that I never noticed one sneaky bastard with a bow. Caught me off guard. Wanted to shove that poxy bow straight up it's pox ridden arse!

If another hollow hadn't stepped in the way that archer hollow would have ruined my shirt. Thankfully hollows tended to lack the brains not to step in the way of sharp pointy things.

The archer hollow fumbled clumsily with the quiver, finding no more arrows to loose.

I closed the distance and thrust the blade into the soulless creature, ending it's pitiful existence and swearing at it a few times.

I then started to ascend the tower, via way of a ladder hastily placed against the collapsed staircase and was happy to see blue sky rather than green canopy. What roof had been above had rotted and was now on the floor.

Then from apparently no-where more hollows shuffled, blades held high. I had no hassle removing them from this life.

Another fucking archer had set up on a walkway and had taken a potshot at me. Oh, what I would have given to have a rifle with me. Something in the 10.5mm range and not a spitzer, but a dum-dum, cos' I would love to have made that fuck suffer. Not that hollows actually feel anything.

However, concept like these were alien to me, but less about firearms for now as Drangleic seemingly had not discovered that technology yet.

I would not need a ranged weapon however, the archer stepped on a rotting beam that snapped under it's weight and was sent tumbling and landing in a broken heap.

It didn't get back up, so I was safe.

There was only one fellow left, sat at the base of one more oddly placed tree. The first one wearing armour I had seen and quite the mismatch too. Sort of looked a cross between, well to put it into terms you would understand, a 13th and 16th century armour style. The head was covered by a flat-top great-helm, the body protected by a mail hauberk. No coat of plates which you might expect to find. The extremities however were covered in plate. Pauldron, rerebrace, gauntlets, cuisses, poleyn, greaves and sabatons, were all in a Gothic/Maximilian style. I mean segmented plates with sliding rivets, which is well beyond mail-dress and great-helms.

I decided then and there it was going to be my armour.

The oddly armoured knight slowly tilted it's head, not seeming phased by my presence. That all changed when I took the helmet, the hollowed knight lunged.

It swung wildly with it's sword, each blow heavy. I had to continuously back step to avoid being hit. Can't die, but being stabbed by a sword still fucking hurts.

I couldn't well defend with my own sword either, being that it was shorted and made of a softer metal. Only the predictability of the swings saved me from pain. One high in particular, an overhead strike and it was my opening.

The blade entered it's skull below the stub of a nose; it's empty eye sockets locked on me, full of anger.

This fight told me that I would need to either get a better weapon or improve my swordsmanship, just to have a chance against stronger enemies.  
Any cunt can wave a sword about, but you'll never win without good technique and a bit of underhandedness. There are some interesting sword treaties out there, if you know where to look. As of now when writing, I am a practitioner of the Bolognese style with side swords. Though back then I was pathetic.

The hollowed knight went limp and I freed the body, then set about stripping the armour.

The metal was in surprising good condition, a bit of rust but fine. The gambeson on the other hand was a different story, being none existent because of time. The padded coif under the mail one was in a similar state, rotten all the way through. It disintegrated as I removed the mail coif and left scraps of mouldy, grease ridden scraps.

Being the idiot I was thought it didn't matter and I could put on the armour as is, and did.

It was uncomfortable to say the least, as the armour was made for me. It was fitted for the bloke I'd just shanked.

The hauberk I had to keep up with four belts, and other scraps of leather I took from the other fallen hollows kept the plate in place, whilst also tying back my hair. That didn't help much and still caught in the mail coif; the padding is really important. I was just some daft noble though, what did I know?

The helmet was heavy and awkward; I could barely see through the eye slots. At this point warning messages should have been popping up. The only thing that fit me was the sword. That was your generic cruciform arming sword, the blade was pattern welded and for it's age had held it's edge.

I replaced my _schara_ and held onto the new sword.

If you're thinking that I looked a state dear reader, you're correct.

Regardless of the impending disaster that was myself, I continued deeper into the fortress and killed a few more hollows.  
They had changed again, no longer being the shambling unarmed type, though not like the one I had lifted the armour from.

I believe they had been the original defenders of the fortress. They carried halberds, which in their prime would have stopped me, but in their current state the hollows couldn't lift them. At least the first few I came across.

It was easier to sidestep them than fight, why put in the effort.

The corridors took me back outside and face to face with the main keep, this was cardinal tower and she was a beauty. A classic in design, nothing fancy.

I entered through oak doors and was disappointed at the state of the room, it was messy and rundown.

Tree roots dropped through cracks in the ceiling, blocking off access to the upper levels. In one corner, sat before a large sack, was a crone.

The moment we made eye contact she was trying to flog stuff. Items I didn't need, nor want were set out before me.

I ignored the crone and took the second option out of the room. A hole had been hacked into the floor and a ladder dropped down.

There was this feeling I had that I wasn't going to find anything to help me get home. What's the phrase? You know the one, I'd been sent on a wild goose chase.  
Well, I did say it took me awhile to figure out what Shanalotte had done.

After of few minutes to orientate myself and several hollows dodged, then dipping through a gap in the wall, which brought me out at the base of a secondary defensive wall.

The stone was pockmarked from heavy impacts and scaffolding clung to it like ivy. It spanned the flooded gap between the inner and outer walls, the space between having been flooded. By the defenders or the attackers, I didn't know.

I took the chance to climb up; first the outer wall and then I would double back, but a mine entrance seemed more interesting.

Three steps in and I triggered a trap. I though it a hollow and had my sword at the ready.

With a sharp yank, the blade was torn from my grasp by the trap. A boulder, much bigger than myself rolled past at some click, not just taking the sword, but breaking my wrist too. It healed instantly, but wrong. So I spent five minutes snapping and re-snapping to get it back into place. It hurt like hell.

"Is...is someone there?" A voice called up ahead.

I followed it and there he was, some bloke clutching at scraps of parchment. This one was wearing mail hauberk and nasal helm, more appropriate that the mismatched stuff I had looted.

His name was Cale and his trade was cartography. He was in Drangleic in search of ancient/forgotten maps.

Well you know what they say, 'do what you love'.

Cale was a lively fellow for being dead, with a good sense of humour to match. I liked him almost instantly; we could be friends he and I.  
Always gotten on with the commoners you see, because I spent most of my time with them in their delightful public houses...getting delightfully hammered. Really got to know them and they I, so I always got their respect.

Some talking revealed that Cale was the one that had set up in the manor back in Majula, he even gave me the key. I was allowed to use it as my own, as long as I didn't disturb any of his stuff of course.

He also shared part of his dinner with me, my stomach growling away and betraying my hunger. Next time I would go out with food, cos' goodness was I hungry.

I took this chance to relax. You should always do so if the opportunity arises; 125 billion years of soldiering has taught me that. If you can relax, relax. Sleep if you can, I didn't here but all the same.

As we chatted, Cale informed me that he had already scoured the fortress, with the exception of the upper levels.  
Perhaps I would find something up there.

"I tried," The man's craggy feature fell, "But the corridor was completely sealed by rubble, no way around I'm afraid."

I nodded, not telling him that we pure-born Erebayans have a few tricks up our sleeves.

We continued to chat until the food was gone and went on our separate ways; he back to Majula and I further into the fortress.

The main courtyard was nothing to write home about, muddy and overgrown with weeds. There were only two ways to go, to the left and straight ahead. I took the latter.

It the far end an undead was sat on a barrel, hand on his chin in contemplation.

The slimy fucker was trying to bait me into a trap I believe, especially with the way he was talking to me. I might be daft, but not so daft I don't know to avoid men like these.

Had a real punchable face that one and his name...I forget at the moment, but it'll come back to me. It was something like Patti, Patches, Pats.

I backed off and took the other route, running into a small problem.

A rather large iron-clad turtle thing hefting a frankly ridiculous sized iron mace. I don't envy the bastard inside it, not even sure how it could move. The weight alone would crush even the strongest of men.

How was I to get past it?

It was blocking the entire doorway, so sneaking or running past was impossible (Granted I could have used this little ability we call shadow dancing, but I wasn't very good at it. So that was out of the question).

Likewise, I couldn't fight it. I had no weapon that could penetrate or break the armour, even in the state of disrepair it was in.

I could always turn back and try to find another way round.

In the end I didn't need to lift a finger. A hollow above us in a window, lost it's footing and fell. In it's hand was a burning torch and that torch landed in a one of the barrels surrounding the armoured turtle-thing.

There was a momentary flash, followed by heat and an intense pressure wave that knocked me back into a wall. It put me out for a minute or so and scrambled my head something fierce.

The hell had just happened?

There wasn't much left of the armoured turtle-thing, some smouldering plate warped and twisted beyond use. Everything was scorched black and a large hole had been blasted out of the dirt floor.

The window from which the hollow had gone, along with the subsequent wall.

Luckily for me the main doorway remain more or less intact and there were a few barrels unexploded. I had to find out what was inside.

It was just a powder, black in colour and had a metallic smell about it. Was it a magic powder, in which case it was wrong. Magic is filthy.

Or goodness forbid it was a mix of magic and science, that truly is an abomination.

Obviously I know now what the powder was and I assume, dear reader, that you do too, but more on that later.

Leaving the barrels, I went inside.

The door I believed to be the one Cale had spoken of was there and I had an idea on how to unblock it.

I would drag one of those barrels in and used the powder from another to create a trail, then from a safe distance I would light it and remove the door and rubble.

What could possibly go wrong?

Nothing actually. It was quite anti-climatic, the fucking door wasn't locked or blocked. Was I at the right bloody door?

Had the cartographer lied to me?

No matter, I would carry on regardless.

The crumpled bodies of hollows decorated the ground and the sounds of fighting above explained why.

I was drawn to the clash of steel and cries, experiencing a form of thrill.

Up and up I climbed until I reached the top.

I had been brought to the outermost wall facing the sea and it was the one that seemed to have the most damage. A collapsed turret obscured my view of the fighting and I had to squeeze my way through, which was easier said than done in my armour. I could have taken it off, but that hadn't occurred to me.

I hoped that whatever was being fought over was worth it.

20 or so undead were circling around a giant of a man in a full plate harness.

The brute smashed one in half with his massive great sword and crushed another under his shield.

One undead shouted to another and then swung at the back of the brute's knee, dropping him momentarily. That's when I got involved.  
Marching over a few undead turned their heads and pointed, loosing interest in their comrades and drawing their swords.

If they were going to attack me, I'd give the brute a hand.

The first fell with my _schara_ splitting his skull and the second with his belly spilling his guts. The third had gotten behind me and brought their sword down on my head.

It bounced, but left my head ringing and my neck hurting, seeing as all the force had been directed down. That's the problem with the flat-tops and why the sugarloaf is preferable. Don't forget the padded coif too, that also absorbs the blows.

The attack left me dazed and angry, I wanted blood.

The undead, a woman, clutched at a round shield and her sword was ready for another strike. We started the dance, circling each other and daring the other to strike first.

My partner was a real beauty, eyes sunken, skin like paper and sickly green, little hair and she stank of rot.

By her stance alone I could tell she was going to parry my blade as soon as I made my move, we couldn't have that.

The clever bitch thought she had me; her lips were pulled into a smile and I was going to wipe it off.

I turned the sword over in my hand so that the blade was facing me and feigned an attack.

As predicted the woman attempted the parry swinging out the shield; not paying attention to the orientation of my blade and I pulled the shield away.  
I used the momentum of my attack to step forward and drove my fist into the woman's skull. It cracked open with a pulpy squelch.

It can be wonderful sometimes knowing how strong we are. Normally we wouldn't aim to penetrate the body, but every now and again it's alright.

The problem, as I soon found out, was that my fist was now lodged in the dead undead's brain-pan. There were three ways I could have dealt with the problem. One, I could have ripped my gauntleted fist free. Two, one of those special little abilities allows me to break an object down by tearing it apart atom by atom, but it's taboo to do something like that. Thirdly and finally, I could just hack the undead free of my fist.

I went with the hacking option, but not before using the undead's body as a shield against an oncoming attack.

That one I ended with a stab to the heart and cut the other one free.

Glancing back at the brute he had obliterated the undead harassing him and the fight had taken a bit out of him. He was down on one knee, panting heavily.

I also caught glimpse of another undead, the baron from earlier, was working a nearby ballista and was aiming it at the brute.

"Behind you!" I yelled, hoping the armour-clad man would hear.

The brute snapped round with inhuman speed as the bolt was loosed and managed to smack it away with his great-shield.

He followed up by sprinting to the baron and splitting him in two, erupting in a fountain of gore.

I quickly wiped my weapon clean on the shirt of a felled undead, followed by the gauntlet.

When I looked back up the brute was in front of me and I was awestruck.

He had to be a good seven foot tall with the armour, which completely dwarfed me. I'm only little, well for my people I'm little, around five-six/five-seven. The average height for an adult Erebayan is six-three.

I stood gawking at the giant, taking up my entire view.

Oh shite, I hadn't saved a hollow had I?

If he went for his sword, I would peg it.

No such strike came. The giant knight kept cocking his head this way and that, studying me and then raised his visor.

"Thank you," A surprisingly soft voice spilled from his lips, "I am having a hard time to find the words. A knight of Heide came to my aid, didn't think many of you still had your minds."

He smiled.

Not to be rude, I replied, "Your welcome, but you will have to excuse me, what is a knight of Heide?"

I pulled the helmet free and the mail coif with it, "I'm not from these lands, I know very little."

The brute's lips parted, then closed in thought.

He bent forward and got a better look of my face, "You look...normal and you don't have that god awful stink of un-death about you."

"That would be because I'm not dead. Can't die, a little predisposition of mine."

I didn't explain why and was given a sceptical 'yes', and the brute looking at me as if I was afflicted with madness.

"Whatever you are. Thank you, sir," The brute bowed and removed his own helmet. Cropped blonde hair and a youthful face, was what I saw.

He smiled again, "So, how did someone like you end up in a place like this?"

The armoured giant cocked an eyebrow.

"Alcohol," I told him bluntly.

The brute laughed, "I mean why here particularity. Not by which means you found yourself in Drangleic."

"The bitch at the bonfire told me I might find a way home here. Though I'm starting to think she sent me here to be rid of me."

Finally I got it and it had only taken four days. I am incredibly embarrassed for my younger self and so was Vix, but he was being polite at the time.

The brute nodded and then told me his tale, "I, myself, am looking for my younger sister. You see the pair of use served under Vendrick. I, a pursuer. I believe I am the last."

He had come to the fortress in hope of a clue, the sister had apparently served here briefly. He had found nothing, like myself, only packs of violent undead.

For fifteen years the pursuer knight had been outside of Drangleic, sent by the king to find a cure and he had only recently returned, empty handed. He was on the battlements went he was ambushed.

"It seems I have neglected to give you my name," He apologised and straightened up, "Vixen Kellantine, pursuer knight of Vendrick."

If you laughed at his name, I'd ask you not to. The man has since become my best and oldest friend, along with his sister, but that's a story for later.

He may have an oddly feminine name, but I wouldn't have anyone else standing by my side when all hell's raining down on you.

There are stories I could tell, not now however, it's not the time.

"Well then sir Kellantine, I'm his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer, but John's fine."

Very few people use my full name, except the missus when I've apparently done something wrong.

And on a separate note, why is my name Germanic when Germania wouldn't exist for another 125 billion years? If you've asked this question all I can say is, I don't fucking know. All I do know is some of our names sound Russo-Germanic.

Coming back to the tale at hand though, I neglected to mention the whole god thing. The brute didn't need to know that yet.

"Royalty?" He gave me a look and took a knee, "Forgive me for my casual attitude before you."

Goodness gracious, I really, really hate the formalities of royal protocol. I understand the importance as far as image goes, but it ain't for me. Don't need people kissing my arse.

I got the brute to stand and tried to warn him off such formalities, he still wouldn't call me by my name and he never bloody has. As you will read it started off as sir and now it's boss, nothing else unless he's swearing at me and then I get called plenty of colourful things.

"Would you permit me to join you, sir. I feel it my duty to help you find your way home."

I couldn't see any point in refusing the man. He knew this land, I didn't and he was someone versed in combat.

Still however, "Isn't finding your sister more important than an emperor you've only just met? I tell you what, as you were so kind to offer your help, I'll help you in return."  
How? I wasn't sure, but something had to come eventually.

The brute thanked me again and suggested we move on, there being nothing but ghosts on the battlement now.

We exited via the other side as Vixen couldn't get his armour through the collapsed turret on the far side.

That far side was where Cale's door was, blocked by half a ton of rubble and not passable. This was not the way we were going to take though.

"Were exactly are you taking us, sir Kellantine?" I enquired, looking at rotting wooden support beams.

"Below sir, I want to check something. See if _it's_ still alive."

If it was alive? My, what a way to make a man curious.

Vixen ushered me onto an elevator and sent me down, following himself and took me into a cavern below the keep.

From the entrance there came laughing, horrid, maniacal laughter.

I had my sword dawn and went in.

The man the baron had been with was stood before a dead thing. Whatever it was had been hacked apart and had bled profusely.

The blood stank more of sap that actual blood and getting a better look at the thing, it appeared to be one of those giant trees.

The man looked at me, insanity in his eyes.

I rook a step forward, closer to the dead thing.

"That soul's mine! Mine!" He screamed and rushed me, smacking me across the helmet and twisting it round.

Tearing the helmet off, I launched my own attack.

A block, followed by a grappling match. Swords were forgotten it was an all out punching fight, without me punching into his body.

The undead got in a good strike across my jaw and in response, I drove my knee into his groin.

With the undead's testes no longer on the outside of his body I finished him off, reaching for my blade and chopped away, spraying myself with gore. I only stopped when the head was free of the body, that being because Vixen had pulled me away before I could mutilate the corpse further.

He asked if I was alright and apologised for making me go down first.

The brute then started to ramble about the giant dead thing, which was in fact a dead giant and all the trees since that village had been dead giants.

"This was the last one, the last giant and their king," It sounded like the man was giving a eulogy, "Thirty men and captain Drummond managed to capture him alive and imprisoned him here. That was a fight...up where we were just fighting, sir. It was a long, drawn out fight for this fort. Lost some good friends."

I would have asked how long ago that had been, but I was too busy trying to get the armour off. I had finally grown sick of it.

Vixen ended up helping me as I was making a mess, "Maybe we should find you some other armour sir, the armour of Heide isn't really suited for your...erm, frame sir."

The brute was being polite. I did enquire as to his first thoughts of me not that long ago, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Boss, you looked like a fucking tramp."  
I'll also mention that he had just fleeced me of 3000 imperial pounds when telling me, but he was right. Armour really needs to be fitted.

"Might I also make another suggestion, sir?"

I nodded, but he never needed to ask.

"Why don't you take the giant's soul, you won it from him," He motioned to the headless body of the insane undead. It had decayed incredibly quickly, was this it finally hollowing? Would it get back up?

I told Vixen I couldn't take the soul and proved it. When I tried to cup the large glowing orb, it slipped between my fingers as if there was nothing there.

The brute took it instead, confessing his shock that I couldn't handle the soul. Everyone he had ever met could do it.

What did it matter? We still had this soul and apparently it would go for quite a bit.

That was it for cardinal tower, nothing for Vixen and nothing for myself. The trip had been a bust, apart from the friendships made. I was going to have some serious words with the herald when we got back.

It took around six days to get back to the melancholic town, stopping at a few other villages on the way back. The one I had initially stayed in refused me and the brute.

We were also slowed down because of Vixen's human needs and that we had to camp every night. I understand the sleeping thing cos' I like that but the other stuff, I quite frankly don't know how you humans deal with it everyday.

It was mid-afternoon as we strode into the sleepy town, a few undead, some I recognised, congregating around the bonfire.

Shanalotte looked less than happy to see me return and the undead backed away from the brute, eyeing him with suspicion.

"I'm back dear, have you missed me? Cos' I've missed you, you lying bitch! There was nothing there for me and you bloody well knew it," I gripped her wrist and pulled her up, towards me.

The brunette with mismatched eyes scowled and remained silent.

Two of the closest undead stood and drew their blades, intent of defending the herald, but stopped when Vixen took a step forward with a hand on his own sword's hilt.

The brute scolded me later, thinking I was going to do something unnecessary to the woman. He hadn't stepped forward to scare off the undead, but make me unhand Shanalotte.

I did so without him having to tell me.

"How the hell do I get out of this place?" I asked, calmly.

"You don't," She was blunt, "No-one I have ever met has left. I don't know if there is a way you can leave."

She could have told me that before and I made that very much clear. The woman admitted to what I already knew, she had sent me off so I wouldn't cause her trouble.

Shalquoir intervened before our little discussion turned into a shouting match.

The herald left in a hurry, mumbling swears under her breath. The undead surrounding the bonfire followed her, still eyeing Vixen.

I took a seat on the herald's favourite rock and the kitty hopped up on my knee.

"We were both wondering when you would return, if you would that is. Now you have, with both a pursuer knight and the soul of the giant lord."

She didn't tell me how exactly she knew about the soul, but that cat knew a lot more than she ever let on.

"Very few of the undead make it back from cardinal," She said matter-of-factly, "And those that do, tend not to make it much further. The odd few make it to a great soul, but not one has succeeded in taking one."

I stopped the cat, having an idea of where she was going with this. I had made it back from the fortress, so they wanted me to have a crack at getting these souls.

I mentioned that I hadn't been the one to end the giant and that I wasn't really a fighter, but that was waved off. I suppose I had Vixen now to do the proper fighting and I could always learn how to use my weapon properly.

Myself and the brute had a brief discussion, agreeing that we could possibly collect these great souls along with finding his sister and finding a way home for me.

When I told both the cat and the herald, I was informed that we were to go to Heide itself. The home of those oddly armoured knights.

That could wait a few days, I had learned I would need to be more prepared.

It was fortunate that there were a blacksmith and a clothes merchant. The armour I ended up getting was similar to the Drangleic royal soldiers. Well, all the components that weren't metal were from a royal soldier. The clothes merchant had just stripped them from a corpse.

Speaking of the merchant, he was a timid bloke by the name of Maughlin. A bit of a milksop and the kind of person I somewhat dislike, he also overpriced me for what he was selling and the quality was, let's say, questionable.

The rest of the armour came from the smith, a prickly fellow with copper green skin and a talented man with metal.

The helmet he made was a beautiful bascinet, in the style of the royal soldier helm and the haubergeon you'd struggle to get a needle through.

The giant's soul was well used on the armour and I was happy with it. Unfortunately there wasn't enough left for new weapon, I'd just have to hope anything hostile was drawn to Vixen.

My remaining time before departure was spent in the manor. Cale wasn't yet back; I had full reign of the upper floors and it was boring to be frank.

With a week of lazing about behind me, we set off to the mysterious kingdom of Heide, it's flaming tower and just perhaps an old dragon slayer.


	3. A Tower of Flame

**Well, here's the next part of this wonderful mess.  
Like usual, I do not own the character, locations etc. of Dark Souls blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.  
I do hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 **A Tower of Flame**

With my new armour, myself and Vixen set off.

Shanalotte still wasn't saying a word to me, so I had to find out off the cat where I was to start.  
"You go through the sewers, then through Heide onto the secret cove that none are supposed to know of. Then you will be off to the Bastille, where your first lord does hide away or should I say imprisoned away," It chuckled to itself.

Ah yes, our first port of call the sewer. It was a very old drainage system and a little tight in places, leaving Vixen to remove his armour entirely.

He was quite the modest man back then, the blush on his cheeks as he walked through the sewer naked could have lit up the night's sky. He didn't need to be naked, but he didn't want his undergarments dirtied.

He was more than happy to get out back into the open, even I'll admit the fresh air was pleasant.

It had only taken us half a day to find Heide, as opposed to the two to the fortress. This Vixen pointed out saying that you could see parts from Majula. You couldn't the fortress.

Heide itself had just about fallen into the sea, all apart from a cathedral and the focal point of the city, a great lighthouse. The likes of which you don't see often. The last I recall being at Alexandria, and she too a real architectural marvel. The whole scene would have fit nicely as a prog-rock album cover.

"How long do you think it took?" I asked Vixen, gazing up in wonderment.

The brute shrugged, "The books say just two years, as the masons had help from sorcerers."

Bloody magic users, the damned world had magic users. So not only did I have to fight against endless hoards of mad undead, but wytches. Fucking marvellous!

Can't use magic as an Erebayan, even if some of my abilities may seem as such. I have always found magic to be the way of the lazy, if you wont use the strength of your own body, then what good are you?

I pushed the thought of magic from my head and continued, finding another of those bonfires. I suppose they do provide some comfort.

Though I doubt they would provide any comfort in the way of the behemoth sentinels of Heide. Hulking automata, in armour rusted with age, each hauling a great weapon to scare a man shitless.

I wouldn't have wanted to be caught by one of their swords, or flattened by a great mace, so I had Vixen go out in front.

My sword would most likely have just bounced. Probably need a twenty-millimetre tank rifle to puncture the buggers; well actually bugger the rifle, and just give me the tank.

To our pleasure there weren't many of the automata and those that were there couldn't really move, age wasn't on their side. One or two still gave us trouble, but Vixen managed to cleave through their corroded armour.

"So, what else do you know about this place then?" I enquired, staring at one of the statues.

"They say that this was one of the most advance cities in the history of these lands, they were known to have created weapons that harnessed the elements themselves, especially that of lightning. There are still examples of these weapons scattered around the land. In fact, you yourself came across a Heide knight. Do you not have his weapon?"

I lied and told him the hollow knight had nothing but his fists, I didn't want to admit I had lost the sword to a rock.

Perhaps I could find another, hidden amongst the ruins of the once beautiful city. I would have liked to have used one of the great weapons, but they looked like they would break before too long and I didn't want to take the chance with them.

Whilst Vixen continued cleaving the automata, I was taking in the view. The architecture of Heide was different to anything else I would come across. The majority of the buildings were made of a marble, masterfully carved most likely with the aid of magic.

Not as beautiful as Erebay or it's capital, but like with the land of Drangleic it's long gone.  
Following the crumbling path we came to a rotunda with three motionless automata, they stood guard to two arches.

"Left of right? Or do we perhaps split and take a door each, then meet back here?" I asked, looking through the rightmost archway. The great blue cathedral I had spied earlier stood wondrous against the white cliffs, grand yet ominous. One of many melancholic monuments I was to see.

"You seem interested in the cathedral, sir. Better to stay together, your weapon isn't suited for armour," Vixen looked to my hip. I had no argument and just nodded.  
Two more automata blocked our way, but were little trouble; one had a failure of the leg and tripped, dragging the other automata with it into the sea.  
That gave me a chuckle or two. As with magic I don't really approve of automata, though they do provide some forms of entertainment every now and again.  
There was a final automata before the cathedral's doors, though it was little more than a pile of rust and a fragment of a visor.  
We sidestepped the pile and pushed through the colossal doors, where I was promptly skewered by a bloody great spear. It was clean through my lower abdomen and whilst my body doesn't have a digestive tract, you know intestines etc. which I wouldn't need to worry about and would heal as soon as the foreign object was removed...it hurt like hell. I do not recommend being stabbed, sliced, shot, immolated...you get the picture.  
At the sound of my pathetic screaming, Vixen burst in with great sword at the ready and went in for the attack, but stopped a few feet from my assailant.  
I in the meantime slowly and painfully removed myself from the spear, only for the spear and myself to be raised up and I slid back down it.  
The pain was blinding, but I still got a good look at the bastard holding the spear. He was taller than Vixen and encased within finely smithed armour, the helm in the likeness of a lion.

"Kill the bastard and get me of this spear!" I half growled through the tears and was surprised when it was the lion knight that responded. Not with words mind you, but with a sharp swing of the spear that loosed me from it. I went tumbling into a support column and fractured my spine for the first time.

There was a momentary loss of feeling before my body started to repair itself, the process was near instant and I was back on my feet.

The inky black smoke that covered the wound leaked into the air like shadows dancing on a wall, another hint at my none-physical self hidden within.

Vixen still hadn't made his attack, nor had the lion knight. They were just staring each other down, or at least I think they were. It's rather hard to tell when everyone is wearing visored helmets.  
The lion helmed knight was though thoroughly distracted and had his back turned, to him I was just another undead and would eventually fade into a pile of souls. I'm still not really sure how the undead were resurrected…  
Anyway, I decided that the best course of action would be to go for the lion helmed knights legs.  
It didn't end well and I ended back on the spear, this time the point had dug into the ground pinning me.  
The lion helmed knight then left me there, turning back to Vixen.  
"Along way you've come from the grave of giants, pursuer. An odd thing, could it be perhaps this poor hollow you're chasing or were you wanting to _prove_ yourself?"

The knights voice was old and it was currently trying to goad Vixen.  
The brute coughed and sheathed his great sword, "Neither is the case, sir Ornstein. I am aiding the man that is currently impaled."

The lion helmed knight, whom Vixen had named Ornstein looked down at me. I was still attempting to free myself, the pain however was making it a little difficult. I should have just shadow-danced, this ability of mine I'll explain later, but I didn't.  
Ornstein looked back at Vixen with a snort, "This thing? You aid this thing. Forgive me for asking but weren't you trained to hunt the undead, not help them? And now it seems you have failed, though this thing did last longer than most. Surprising for an undead."

The man's condescending and snide tone snapped me from the pain.  
I managed to growl lowly, "Not human, can't die. This thing also has a name and would very much like not to stay impaled."  
Ornstein looked down at me, finding it hard to believe that something could still be living after impalement, twice. With a sharp twist of the spear he freed me. Again black shadow-like smoke leaked from the wound and faded, leaving nothing but fresh skin and a slight draft around my midriff.  
"Thank you," I tried to say in the least sarcastic tone I could muster, I failed. The tall lion helmed knight dropped the spear tip so it was once more pointed at me.

"What was that?" The man demanded, pointing to where the spear had penetrated.

"That was part of me healing my physical body. It does that when I get hurt."  
I was then asked the usual 'what are you' question. I gave the usual response by showing him my actual self and not the meat puppet you humans refer to as bodies.  
Straight away I could feel my energy drain from me, though back then I didn't need to worry as I didn't have a limiter. How times have changed.

Vixen had raised his visor and was staring, "Sir?"  
I chuckled a little at his confusion and reassured him that it was in fact me, then returned the physical body.  
Ornstein still hadn't raised his weapon, "A creature of the abyss."  
The man's voice dripped hate, "You creature or one of your ilk took my friend long ago. You corrupted him, twisted him, until he was no more than the monster he swore to destroy."  
Colour me confused, I know big shock just go along with me. I explained to the Ornstein that I had been here in this land for just under a week and that to my knowledge no contact had been made with this land.  
Ornstein turned back to Vixen, "Is he telling the truth, pursuer?"  
"I know not," The brute answered truthfully and I found myself with the spear tip at eye.  
I held my hands up in defence, "I don't want to be skewered again, if you don't mind. Myself and Sir Kellantine will leave this cathedral and be on our way."

Thinking back, I was far too forgiving. If it were the current me I would have killed him without a seconds thought, which I can say would be a mistake.  
"No!" Ornstein replied coldly, "I shall accompany you. Make sure you do not spread your corruption to this land too. Never again shall there be an Oolacile, not when I still draw breath. I shall watch you too, pursuer."

Not something I was really expecting, but it was better that being stuck on a spear, being drained of all my energy and becoming void-lost. That really wouldn't have done.  
I asked Ornstein if there was anything else of note within the cathedral. I was given a sparse reply, something about an ageing grand master of some such order, waiting for new members. That was it and to be honest after being stabbed twice I had lost interest in the building and just wanted to stab something myself.  
The lion helmed knight strode out of the room leaving myself and the brute. Vixen was still looking at me oddly, "You really aren't human. I thought that you were babbling madly when we met, but that's not so."

"Does it really matter?" I asked, "Once we get this done, I'm going to be trying to find my way back home and that'll be it."  
Vixen nodded curtly, "I suppose that is the case, sir. I'm not bothered by you not being human if you were wondering, just surprised at..."  
The brute gesture to my entirety  
"I've met non-humans before, but you're...different."  
I smiled, "Perhaps, but I still think like you. For the most part I look and talk like you. We're not really so different."

The exception to this being I wasn't born, I don't age and I'm the god who created everything. Apart from that however...alright there's a lot more, but I can't be arse to list it all  
The brute dropped the subject and turned my attention to a weapons rack.  
"Before we were discussing the weapons of Heide. That spear there is one, it's probably for the best you take it, sir. It will give you more of a chance against the hollows we'll meet."  
Taking the weapon I found it to be a good weight. Then again I'm stronger than you humans, so it didn't really weigh anything in my hands.  
I gave the spear a few test thrusts and was satisfied with it. Alright, I'll admit I had never picked up a spear before that point and looked like an utter tool using it, but I now had a half decent weapon.  
Myself and the brute then left the cathedral, with a less than enthusiastic Ornstein waiting.  
Once he saw us leave the lion helmed knight took off, clearing a path.  
I looked up at Vixen and asked out the man in the lion helm.  
"The legends say sir Ornstein is a dragon slayer from a very old land, the land of lords. No-one really knows how long or why he's in Drangleic. For some time he was under the employ of the king, until he went missing with sir Ornstein following suite," The brute spoke softly, looking over the ruined city.  
Ornstein had once again stopped, looking at us.

"You two!" He shouted, "Stop prattling on like old ladies. Move it."  
Not wanting to truly anger then man, we did as we were told and were led to the base of the lighthouse.

"One of the old dragon riders still guard this tower and just because he's gone hollow do not think he will be any less than a threat. He carries a halberd, so watch for overhead attacks as well as the thrusts. Get past that spear tip and he's all yours," All of this was directed toward Vixen, who nodded. Ornstein then turned to me, "Do not get in our way creature and we won't have a problem."  
Ornstein turned away from me, then from some unknown pocket pulled some very strange tree sap or was it resin...I forget.  
He coated the tip of his spear in it and marched off to face the enemy. Vixen followed and I hung back, observing the fight. Specifically the way Ornstein and the dragon-rider used their weapons, seeing now that I had a pole-arm.  
They really weren't suited for close quarters, but when needs must.  
In a matter of moments the fight was over. Vixen had baited the dragon-rider into charging and had his halberd parried by the purser knight's vambrace, then Ornstein struck with his spear which was dancing with sparks of electricity.  
The hollow collapsed and stopped moving, fight over.  
Ornstein collected the soul that had pooled above the corpse, looked at me briefly then handed the glowing mass to Vixen.  
"We must now part ways for a short time," Ornstein growled, "The passage you must take is far too small for myself and the pursuer knight to follow. We must take an alternate path. If my memory serves correct, you ascend the tower and the path will be clear. Now go."  
I may not be the smarts of beings, but why should I have to take an alternate route on my own if we were all going to the same place?  
Fucked if I know.  
It was stupid and I argued the point, only for Ornstein to get pissy with me. Vixen seemed a like he was going to step in on my behalf, but I doubt he would have been able to put up a fight. Well, that was if Ornstein had decided to attack me...which he didn't.  
Sensing I was fighting a losing battle I gave up and accepted I was going to be on my own for a little while.

Vixen was dragged away by Ornstein and I went up, slowly walking it the staircase the wound itself round the outside of the tower.  
At the midsection the staircase ended, leading into an opening between the levels. It was open on all sides, giving way to a beautiful view of the ocean. A cloaked figure was knelt in one of these open sections.  
For the half whispered prayers being said I could tell it was another woman.  
She turned her head and looked up at me, she had this look in her eyes. It was a look of pure arrogance.  
"Are you from these parts?" The woman asked and I shook my head.  
The woman shrugged slightly, "Well, no matter. My name is Licia and I have come to spread the art of miracles. It is my mission given to me by the gods."

If there's one thing I dislike more than magic users it religious zealots and subsequently their deities.  
And when I say dislike, I mean despise even though I myself am a god. I despise everything we stand for and it's why I refuse to act like one.  
Over the many years of my life, through the two realities I have lived, myself and the Empire have declared war on just about every pantheon you can think of. (We have also been employed by most of them as well, but that's beside the point.)  
I said earlier that one of my titles was the 'glam-god', well one of my unofficial titles amongst those remaining pantheons is 'god-killer von Bayer'.

What good are gods?  
I don't even dignify their divinity in writing. I know it's poor grammar not to capitalise the G in god, but fuck it. Furthermore, both Latin and Germanic forms of the word are very similar to a word in Erebay, g _o_ _e_ _teus_ or parasite. I think it's fitting.  
Anyway, I scoffed at Licia's proclamation, saying that she was no more that a con-artist. She didn't take well to this and things became heated.  
She called me a blasphemer (Which I am, you humans taught me it and I love it) and I called her delusional bint.  
The whole ordeal escalated to the point of physical violence. She attempted to use one of those poxy miracles on me, it did nothing. At best it knocked me back a little.  
I took a step forward and grabbed the bitch by her cloak, holding her at the edge of the tower.  
From my mouth pure cheese was spewed, "You have so much faith in your gods, surely they will come to your aid when your life's in danger."  
I didn't bother revealing my physical form, instead opting to invade her mind and show her my memories.  
"Daemon!" She cried and attempted to use another miracle. That just forced me to let go of the woman.  
There was a scream, which was cut short by a nasty sounding crunch as she hit the rocks below. I made a few exaggerated gestures looking around for any gods (other than myself) who may have appeared a few moments too late.  
None.  
To me, my point had been proven.  
She attacked first and I do not regret the actions that followed.  
The woman's bag remained where she had been knelt and seeing as she was no longer in need of it, I had a look inside.  
A few theological books or so I would be told later on, though they were useless to me. I only spoke the language, I couldn't read it.  
Along with the books were a few loafs of hard bread and a nice chunk of cheese. There were then a few vials of odd liquid and I knew better than to open them.  
It was at the point I imagined the pissed off voice of the dragon slayer telling me not to dawdle and to move.  
I picked up the bag, tying it to the spear and entered the adjoining tower and down into more sewers.

Like with the ruins of Heide, these sewers were infested with rusted automata. It wasn't hard to duck past them; in the dark they were clumsy and I can see perfectly.  
The sewers eventually gave way to a cave system and you could see why Ornstein and Vixen took a separate route. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, even for myself and I a skinny cunt.  
Around half an hour it took to get to an area that I could easily walk through and found another bonfire, this time with an occupant.  
One more knight to add to the collect, but at least this time we were roughly the same size. Looked like a bit of a dandy, his outfit being very flamboyant and one hell of a gaudy mask. I liked the hat though, would have looked even better with a black and purple plume.  
I took a seat by the calming firelight, thinking 'fuck it, Vixen and Ornstein will just have to wait.'  
The food I had lifted from the dead woman served me well then, so I removed my helm and started eating.  
"You know it's warmer if you sit by by the fire," I called to the dandy knight, "I have food too, if you want some."  
I was ignored and the dandy's blank mask continued to stare off into the black.  
"I'm John by the way," I dropped the horribly formal Johannes-Friedrich, for the abbreviation the nobles closest to me were fond of calling.  
The dandy surprised me as he spoke and wasn't a he, but a she.  
"I don't know you, and you don't know me. Let's keep it that way," The dandy responded bluntly.  
I rolled my eyes, "I was only trying to be nice, there was no need to be rude. Let's try it again, shall we? I'm John, why don't you join me by the fire rather than stand in the dark?"  
The dandy exhaled sharply and unfolded her arms, "If I sit down by the fire, will you shut up?"  
"No, but I can lie if it would make you happy."  
The dandy shifted from her position and sat down, "You're persistent, I'll give you that. My name is Lucatiel, though you may not use it. If you must refer to me use madame, John."  
Oh she was a haughty one. Well, two can play at that game.  
"The ship to call me John has sailed, sister. You will refer to _me_ as your Imperial Highness, or my Emperor! I'm not bothered which."  
"You are funny," She replied, voice devoid of emotion, "Call me sister again and I will end your pathetic existence."  
I calmly informed her I had already killed one bitch that day and would happily do it again.  
"Not only persistent, but bold too. Not many people would dare threaten a Mirrah knight, most just look upon the mask and run away."  
I shrugged and gave her the same spiel I'd given everyone else. The woman seemed to accept the story and told her own.  
"I heard that this land contained powerful souls and I wished to claim my share...though Drangleic is far stranger than the stories could have prepared me for," She said fiddling with a belt buckle, "You though are stranger still."

Get used to people saying this to me, I have yet to find someone who hasn't told me.  
Through the darkness a sour voice cut, "Creature! I know you're in there, I can here your damned voice. Get out here now, before I loose my temper further."  
I don't think that was really possible, as he always seemed to be in some form of mood. Not wanting to keep the angry dragon slayer waiting, I collected my things and replaced the helm.  
"It's been a pleasure," I said, failing to mask the not so subtle sarcasm.  
The dandy snorted, "Likewise. Try not to get yourself into trouble, it would be a pain for a true knight like myself to have to save you."  
And with that bitchy comment, I left.

The cave system opening into a cove, Vixen referred to the place as no-man's wharf. Fitting as there were no men left, just hollows.  
"Varangians," Ornstein corrected me when I commented on the barbarian staggering towards us.  
Vixen brought his great sword down on the hollow, more crushing it than cutting but either way it was dead.  
"Pirates who worked for Vendrick. They ferried the undead to the Bastille."  
Although Vixen didn't say it, the underlying tone was there. Calling them pirates was being nice, slaver is probably the better word.  
Now I'm not going to go on a morality based rant. One, it's not worth it. Two, We the Empire have been employed by slavers and employed as slaver.  
Although, the Empire does have anti-slavery stance within Imperial territory and has done before I took power. This has not changed.  
Anyway, I was told that to summon the ship that would take us to the Bastille we would need to ring a bell.  
It wasn't such a difficult task, the varangains fell quick as did their dogs. I even managed to get a few with the spear, but really Vixen and Ornstein did most of the work.  
The closer we got to the bell the more these strange creature started to appear, always cloaked in darkness and afraid of the torch Vixen held.  
We gave them a wide berth, continuing through the houses that lined the cove and came across the most unusual fellow.  
Built like a barrel he was and covered mail with plates. In his hand a tankard, a rather large tankard which he used to point.  
He said something, but unlike with the others I had already crossed I didn't understand.  
"He says his name is Gavlan, sir. He claims to be a trader, at least I think that's what he's saying, sir," Vixen translated.  
Gavlan was a Gyrm, if I remember correctly. Genetically similar to humans, but it's probably easier to think of them more like dwarfs except taller.  
"Sir, he offering you a drink in friendship. Though I would advise against it," Vixen warned.  
I ignored the brute's advice as Gavlan was offering me free booze, he was my new best friend for all I cared. And let me tell you, that alcohol was like bloody jet fuel. It hit me hard!  
It takes a lot to get me suitably drunk, but I know only a few swigs of that would have me on the floor.  
The gyrm chuckled heartily.  
I said my thanks and we left, not wanting Ornstein to hoy a wobbla...I'll translate for those of you who don't speak Geordie, just means throw a fit.  
Sorry about that, I'll try and keep my adopted home mannerisms to the minimum. Sometime I forget I'm not human and go fully native, though this isn't really relevant as in terms of Drangleic, Newcastle won't be around for what? Around 130 billion years, give or take a few centuries.  
Right, less about that. Though it does give you an idea of how I sound, as I write.  
Through several more of these buildings we pushed and came to the bell, rang it twice and waited. From the mouth of the cave the sound of creaking wood and crashing waves echoed. In sailed a rather decrepit looking carrack and she was lacking a crew, albeit a few hollows.  
Winding our way back through the buildings we had to fight those creatures, they weren't difficult to kill just time consuming. An hour after ringing the bell we came to the dock, which was split into two sections. One led to the ship, the other to an older man sat staring into the blue.  
He was a damned wytch, so wanted little to do with him.  
My views on magic users have somewhat softened since then, but still…I don't have to like them.  
Ornstein took the lead as we walked up the first walkway, he was knocking hollows into the black waters with ease.  
"I would advise caution, sir Ornstein. One of Aldia's creations served on this ship," Vixen called ahead.

Ornstein shook his armoured head, "I was ending the lives of everlasting dragons long before this kingdom was even formed, do you think I am scared of some monstrosity?"  
Vixen didn't reply, a wise move.  
On the spar deck there were little in the way of threats. There was an annoying archer on top of the ship's forecastle, but he was dealt with easily enough.  
Below decks it was a different story, for me at least. With little in the way of a sane crew no-one was manning the bilge pumps, so a considerable amount of water had been allowed to rise.  
I had thought the carrack was sitting low in the water.  
We pushed on through the waist high water into the main hold where the creature Vixen had spoken of resided.  
It was a formidable size. Taller than Vixen, but not Ornstein who had a good few feet on the creature.  
Reptilian in appearance, with the most striking feature being the conjoint twin splitting from the back of the hip.  
Both bodies to a degree were armoured and both carried weapons. One a pair of scimitars, the other heavy clubs.  
How do you flank such a beast?  
The answer is you don't. You distract both heads at the same time, then strike.  
Vixen grappled with clubs, whilst Ornstein jabbed continuously with his spear and I went for the legs. A good shot at the knee dropped the sentry, followed by the dragon slayer putting his spear through both bodies.  
The creature went limp and that was it, not more threats on the ship.  
A question then arose within my mind, "Does anyone know how to sail this thing?"  
No.  
Turned out though that the ship didn't need to be crewed due to the forces of magic…  
Vixen fiddled about with the actual device that would get the ship going, and that it did after a little while.

It was a good two days on the carrack, which I unofficially name the _Katarina._ It's a name I've always liked and always said that if I had a daughter, I would call her Katarina. When this actually happened the wife said no and gave our firstborn a really, really 'normal' name!

I am of course being sarcastic…

Anyhoo, for most of those two days I stayed on the _Katarina's_ fighting top because I'm just not comfortable on ships, makes me feel really ill. At least on the fighting top I had plenty of fresh air and didn't have to smell the stinking bilge water.

At the end of day one Vixen called up to me.  
"Sir! Found a stowaway in one of the holds, how would you like me to deal with them?" He asked.

"Why don't you bother Ornstein with it?"  
"He's asleep sir, and I would rather not wake him," Another wise decision.  
Reluctantly, I agreed to solve the problem and started my way down the futtock shrouds. Vixen held the shoulder of our stowaway with one of his might hands.

Lo and behold it was the dandy knight of Mirrah, Lucatiel.  
"Alright, why hide?" I asked her.  
I pulled my hair back with a strip of cloth that I'd picked up, so that I could better see her.  
The woman was struggling against Vixen's grasp.  
"It's a simple question, just answer it."  
No response.

"Throw her over the edge, Vixen. She can swim to wherever she's going," I ordered and intended to return to the fighting top.  
"I was hiding from that thing that patrolled the lower decks. I thought that if I hid for long enough that the ship would sail back to the Bastille on it's own," The woman blurted out.  
That answered that question.  
"Take our stowaway to one of the cages. She can hide away in one of those until we reach dry land."  
Vixen cocked his head, "Those cages are for the undead and I would feel bad doing that to a lady."  
Knights and their chivalry.  
"Vixen, she is undead. I can smell the rot on her and if you take her mask off, you'll see the decay around the left eye. At least I'm sure that's what it is," It was a guess, as I could just see see through the eye hole.  
The brute nodded and pulled off Lucatiel's mask, along with the hat.  
I was correct, decay had set in. Not by much, but it was still noticeable.  
She was good looking though, some might even go as far as to say stunning.  
"See, undead. Now take her below."  
Lucatiel may have had a pretty face, didn't mean I was going to be nice to her. I'm sure you've heard it before but never trust a pretty face, especially if it's mine.  
Vixen did as he was told and dragged the knight of Mirrah away to much protest and I went back to the fighting top.  
Thinking back it was an odd edition to have on the ship as it wasn't a fighting carrack, nor had firearms been introduced to the land yet.  
This sort of made the whole fighting top redundant and before anyone says anything, no it wasn't an observational platform as the crow's nest was above me.  
She would have been a nasty little bitch if she was armed and you know, not falling apart at the seams.  
I did do my fair share on the bilge pumps, not that it seemed to matter. The more water pumped out, the more got in.  
Not really much more to comment on about the ship, other than it was a wholly unpleasant trip and I was much relieved when just after midnight, in moonlight's sweet glare, did appeared the foreboding towers of the lost Bastille.


	4. Past Sins Never Lost

**Another piece to this...well, I'm not sure what you'd call it. Mess perhaps.**

 **Anyway, to those of you that have commented, I have read them. I'm just shite at replying, but I appreciate them. Thank you.  
As always I do not own the souls series or the several or so references throughout.  
I do hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome, though it may take awhile to respond.**

* * *

 **Past Sins Never Lost**

"Lovely place," I commented, looking up at what seemed to be an endless cliff.  
Rain had set in, sort of reflecting the atmosphere. A little like a derby day match and we're getting our arses handed to us, pure dread with just a hint of anger.

"You haven't seen inside yet, sir," Vixen mumbled, walking past me. He was flanked by Ornstein who was still to remove his armour.  
I really wanted to know what the bastard looked like.  
Thin wisps of grey smoke leaked from the helms 'mouth'. Something you don't see everyday.  
"Are you smoking under your helmet?" I asked and received an angry grunt.  
"So what if I am?"  
This attitude of his was getting on my nerves and what if he dropped the fag? It would fall into the armour and probably set his clothing alight.  
My main problem with this however, was that he didn't offer me one. I like a good smoke, ever since one of our exploration parties came across the plant we use.  
It's wasn't tobacco, but it had roughly the same amount of nicotine in it.

The dragon slayer huffed and walked into the cave that acted as the lower entrance of the Bastille.  
"Bastard," I grumbled under my breath.

Vixen placed a hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry about him, sir. I did wake him suddenly."  
That wasn't going to change my opinion of him.  
"Maybe we can push him off a cliff?" I half joked.  
The brute shook his head, not finding the idea of murdering Ornstein amusing. Said dragon slayer then yelled at us to get in the cave.

Just before we reached the mouth I turned to Vixen, "Are we forgetting something?"  
For a moment we both looked at each other.  
"The woman!" We both cried.  
We had forgotten about Lucatiel.  
"You go ahead Vixen, don't want to keep moody waiting. I'll get the girl and meet you inside," I smiled at the man and turned back.  
Even though at anchor, the carrack was fighting against the churning tide. For a few moments I though the ship would break apart.  
Keeping one's footing was difficult at best especially on the spar deck, which was now soaked.

If you remember to the end of the last chapter I commented on the fact that the carrack took on water and a lot of it.  
The water that was initially waist high, was now at chin height and freezing. We'd left Lucatiel in here...oops.  
The dandy herself was trying very hard not to drown in the cage we'd put her in, the cage itself was now just below the waterline. Again...oops.  
I did my best to free the lock and drag her from the flooding hold, getting her to the spar deck and laying her down.  
She was motionless for a moment, before bolting up, coughing free water filled lungs.  
Turns out undead still need to breath.  
"Were you trying to kill me; leaving me in that hollow trap?" The blonde moaned.  
"You're already dead, so stop whining. If it makes you feel any better, I whole heartedly apologise for the treatment," I tried to make it sound as convincing as possible.  
The blonde rolled her eyes and pushed herself up, "We can die again, you know. That's what hollowing is. We die and we die, losing our soul and becoming hollow. How don't you know this?"  
"I am sick of having this conversation. I am not from your planet, I am only here because I'm an idiot when drunk and quite frankly honey, I don't care if you die again and again," I snapped at her, possibly not the best thing to do.  
"What do you mean not from this...planet?"  
"You ever look up at the night sky, at all the stars. You know the infinite dark that stretch between all of them, that's where I come from. Three weeks ago I had never met a human, been taught many of your languages which has come in handy, but no interactions. The only beings I've had contact with are my own and Reapers, not that that means anything to you. And it is your Imperial Highness by the way, I wasn't joking."  
Taking her by the shoulders, I helped the knight of Mirrah onto her feet.  
"Where are my mask and hat?" She asked looking around.  
I pointed to the flooded lower deck, it wasn't really my prerogative to save every one of her effects. The woman still had her weapon, which I do believe is slightly more important than a gaudy mask and a nice hat.  
She didn't take well to the information that it was lost, in fact it brought tears to her eyes.  
"Don't cry over a bit of metal, it can be replaced," At least I assumed it could.  
The blonde huffed, "Idiot."  
She then hurried off, leaving me in a mildly confused state. I followed as quickly as I could into the cave, finding no Vixen or Ornstein.

Calling both their names I got a reply from above, specifically from a large hole cut into the ceiling.  
"I'll send the cage back down, sir. Myself and sir Ornstein will continue on our way and clear any hollows," The brute's voice barely audible. It's a good thing that my hearing's really good.  
I shouted back to be careful and heard no more.  
A few minutes later a large, rusted cage dropped into view. The whole contraption was operated by an obvious button, that sat at the centre of the floor.  
I stepped in, as did Lucatiel and we started to ascend. I thought perhaps some very sarcastic banter might break out between us, this was not to be.  
Instead the blonde undead stood staring at me and it was making me a little uncomfortable, not the staring but the way her hand hovered over her sword.  
"I can buy you a new hat and mask when we get back to Majula. Vixen's picked up a lot of souls and I'll spend them to make sure you're back to full gear," I meant it too.  
"Stuff your souls, I want the mask I was wearing," The blonde responded petulantly.  
I informed her again that the mask was now underwater.

"Well go swim for it then!" She snapped, turning her back on me.  
I would see this kind of behaviour a lot in the future, especially with daughter number one. This kind of mood is easy to deal with once you know how, sadly it wouldn't be until my first daughter would I learn this.  
"It's a fucking mask, get over yourself!"  
Tactful as always, I am.  
I wasn't expecting for her to launch herself at me and pin me to the bars.

"It's not _just_ a mask, you insensitive idiot," She loosed a frustrated yell, then with teary eyes let go of me.  
So, in review what have we learned?  
One, that mask had some form of sentimental value attached to it.  
Two, I am good at pissing off women. For example, the second time I met my wife to be the 'Queen of the Reapers', 'goddess of Death' whatever you want to call her, I sort started a war. That is something I've gotten good at.

I thought of things I could say to the blonde undead, but struggled to find anything meaningful or at least sounded convincing.  
The cage came to a halt with a slight rock and groaned as we moved to the door.  
From the offset you were surrounded by cells, some in better condition than others and almost all had occupants.  
I hesitate to guess how many were crammed into those rooms. I would definitely see this again, human's crushed into cattle cars like animals.

I'm not going to lie and say we didn't know what was going on, we all knew. Anyone who tells you different was either too young or is a damned liar.  
Like with the whole slavery thing, I'm not going to comment.  
All I will say is I did my part for another country I fell in love with and served alongside some very brave men, fighting a war we were never going to win. Regardless of certain actions taken by a madmen.

…

…

…

I am no saint, that much is clear.  
But I'm not paid to be a saint and I never will be, so I'm in no position to condone the treatment of the undead in this particular instance.  
History repeats itself far too much for my liking.  
I'm sorry Neil, you were very much wrong.

Leaving the room with the cage, we were greeted with even more cells and another bonfire. Lucatiel decided, without consulting me, that she was going to sit down. If I hadn't heard her sword hilt catch the broken bars of the door, I would have walked away.  
She sat silently, staring into the amber flames. In her hands there was a container, jade green in colour until she tipped it towards the fire.  
Embers seemed to jump into the flask and the thing lit up.

With the flask seemingly filled, the blonde undead brought it to her pale lips and drank from it. Her body glowed dully and she seemed to relax.  
Estus, the life-giving elixir of the undead.  
As with the ability we pure-born Erebayans have to heal our bodies, an undead only needed to take a sip of the liquid fire to regain lost health.  
Seems simple enough, yes?  
What if I was to tell you that the substance was incredibly addictive, an opiate.  
' _You're_ _my shot,_ _you'r_ _e_ _my obsession._ '  
The more an undead used the substance, the more they _needed_ it.  
I don't believe it had any long term effects, not that that would matter seeing as the transition of an undead to a hollow is a remarkably short one.  
Don't think I'd really want to drink estus anyway and will probably stick with proper liquid fire. That being whiskey.

I sat on my haunches next to her and tried softer approach when talking.  
"I am sorry that your mask is lost and if I can, I will do anything to try and repay you. For the moment I will help you complete whatever goal you have in this place, I'm sure we can even help each other."  
Lucatiel harrumphed and folded her arms, "Do you really think that your words mean anything?"  
No, I didn't but it was worth a try.  
"Well, it's still probably better for us to stay together. You don't have to like it, but I think it's better than trying to navigate this place on your own."  
The woman remained silent and walked away from the bonfire, that was also my queue to leave. I followed the knight of Mirrah onto the outer walls of the Bastille.  
Several hollows lay bisected. Even another Heide knight was motionless, his weapon smashed at his feet. Several large puncture marks adorned his surcoat, or what was left of it. Safe to say he wouldn't be getting back up.

Further along part of the wall had crumbled forcing us to climb down into one of the courtyards. A very large gaoler wrapped from head to toe in bandages was laid out flat on his face, again the telltale signs of a spear were obvious. Around him were scattered the remains of undead dogs.  
Moving past the corpses, I found Vixen and Ornstein attempting to open a gate. The dragon slayer had the shaft of his spear underneath, trying to leaver it open.  
"You made it here alright then, sir?" The brute asked.  
I nodded and motioned to the gate.  
"The means to open it is on the other side. We may be here awhile," Vixen looked at Ornstein struggling.  
"It would help if you stopped chatting pursuer!" The lion-helmed knight growled, "Get over here."  
The dragon slayer grunted heavily again trying to force the gate open.  
I stepped in before the man gave himself a hernia.

"I'll open it," I stated calmly and did my stuff.  
I brought up shadow-dancing briefly earlier and you could sort of liken it to teleportation. This only works if I have been to place where I want to shadow-dance, can visualise the area and have enough energy to complete the action.  
A good shadow-dancer (i.e. a pure-born Erebayan) can move stupid distances using this ability.  
At the time however I could only go a good few metres.  
This is shadow-dancing, or at least one form of it. The others involve crossing into a separate reality, but I hadn't been taught that yet.

In my wanting to show off I neglected the even easier option of just walking straight through the gate, my actual body being none-physical and all that.  
It's not really something we rely on though, the majority of us anyway. Bleeds too much energy from our bodies.  
In a cloud of shadow, I reappeared on the other side of the gate and pulled the switch.  
Ornstein was the first to walk through, giving me a wide berth, followed closely by the knight of Mirrah and then Vixen.  
His visor was up and he gave me an odd look.  
"As much as I don't want to admit it sir, I was rather enjoying sir Ornstein's struggling. Couldn't you have waited before doing...that," He gestured to my entirety.  
It seemed even the pursuer was irked by the dragon slayers attitude.  
"What's happening with the woman then? I hope she wasn't too mad with the way we treated her," The brute continued.  
"Not at you maybe, Vixen. You just followed my orders, I was the one who gave them. Pretty pissed her mask was lost and apparently that's _my_ fault," I replied, opening up my own visor.

"The mask is rather important to the knights of Mirrah. Unlike myself and sir Ornstein, many of them are not noble born. Even peasants can achieve knighthoods and they have to work hard to do so. It's not just a mask sir, but a symbol of their achievement."  
That sort of explained why she was acting like a petulant brat, but I still knew there was more behind her attitude.  
Up ahead the knight of Mirrah screamed and I, along with Vixen, ran to see why.  
Our dear dragon slayer was holding her in the air, by the neck. In his usual manner he was growling something to the woman in his grasp.  
He turn his head toward us and dropped Lucatiel.  
"Another undead you have failed to pursue!"

I raised a hand stopping vixen and replied in his stead, "I'm not undead you bastard and has it really taken you this long to notice the woman is? She was standing right next to you before."  
"It's dark creature and this helm does not offer much in the way of vision," The man spat.  
I would have to give him that. Most helms will give you to a degree decent vision, but it's still like wearing blinkers.  
Ornstein could only see through the eye pieces, there weren't even any breaths in the helm to provide further vision.  
The armour was impractical at best, yet in the light the man seemed to know everything that was going on around him.

The man had ESP or something.  
"Want to explain then as to why you were holding the girl?" I pressed.  
"She was in my way. I told her not to be," The dragon slayer snorted angrily, then walked away.  
I stood for a few seconds before asking the brute if I exuded some form of aura that pissed people off.

The brute shrugged and suggested that we make sure Lucatiel was alright.  
She was a little shaken, but then again so would you if a giant had picked you up by the throat. I walked over and held out my hand, it was swatted away.  
The woman took a swig from the glowing bottle and seemed well enough, until we came across a hollow that Ornstein had ignored.  
She went wild and with some skill, dissected the soulless husk. Even going as far as castrating it, a sight that to this day still makes me cross my legs and wince.  
I kept my distance, wanting to keep the old wedding tackle attached to my body.  
"Is everything OK, lady Lucatiel?" I asked and had her sword in my face.  
"You now choose to acknowledge my title," The lady hissed.  
I bowed my head slightly, "To be totally honest, I don't know how to address you. I think we need to build up some form of respect and I believe this is a good start. We both acknowledge what we are and build up from there."  
The diplomatic angle seemed like the best option. We didn't have to like each other, but you don't need to like someone to build respect after all.  
"What were those strange words you used on the ship? I overheard them when you were talking to him," She asked, cocking her head, "Fuck off, I believe."  
A woman swearing, how crass.  
Nothing new to my ears, but the way she snarled those words was...oh, it was sexy!

Yes, I did just write that. Shut up.  
The blonde undead returned her sword to its sheath and turned away with a huff.  
Now was the time to give her space and let her rip the balls off of more poor undead, at least they weren't mine.  
Hopefully she would calm down.  
Now, to find Ornstein all we had to do was follow the corpses. Lots and lots of corpses, even three more automata.  
These were different from the ones in Heide. Shiny and new.  
All three were tall and thin, covered in bronze armour with frog-mouthed helmets. The area they were in was very tight, I wouldn't want to have fought one in it, let alone three.  
The lion helmed knight was sat quietly at the centre, cleaning the tip of his spear.  
"Sight seeing were we?"  
Anger had left his voice for smugness. I could feel the grin under his mask and I really wanted to know what that face looked like now, so I could punch it.  
Smugness did not suit him.  
He asked myself and Vixen to check around the room for any hidden walls or supplies we could use.  
I ignored him and walked through the only opening, then up a flight of stairs and stabbed a hollow reaching through a very small cage.  
The adjacent room was nothing special other than two doors, one standard and one trap...Now, I didn't want to open that trap door, wouldn't dare do such a thing. Think I'd be a fool if I did…  
To reiterate, I did not open that trap door, cos' there could have been something down there.  
(I'm not sorry.)

Lucatiel on the other hand went straight down it and I followed because...reasons.  
We were greeted by an undead dog and one of the many face like carvings that seemed to pop up all over Drangleic. They weren't really something I had paid much attention to, having thought them just carvings.  
That was until the blonde undead pulled a squarish stone from out of no-where. Honestly, I have no idea where she was hiding it, as it wasn't very small.  
You know what, let's not think about where she was hiding it.  
After she placed the stone in the carvings' 'mouth' a magical door opened, leading to one of the outer towers.  
I'll be quick about this little detour. Inside this tower was a queer midget, a bell, several animated gargoyles and a poxy rusted key for all our troubles.  
Really not worth the detour, though I was convinced of Lucatiel's skill as a knight.  
I wasn't really much help, tripping over my spear once in the process of backing away from one of the gargoyles.  
"You really are a noble, aren't you?" Lucatiel commented, as we made our way back, "I didn't think it was possible to hold a spear wrong."  
I asked her, did it really matter as long as the pointy end made it's way inside the target?  
"I see why the two slabs of meat are with you. They kill things and you don't need to get your hands dirty," She said, kicking a pebble off the small bridge spanning the towers.  
I hadn't thought of it like that, but no that wasn't it as I explained to her my coming across the two.  
She even giggled as I told her about Ornstein spearing me twice, this caused me to blush and with pale white skin (as in actual white. Not a pinkish colour like you hairless monkeys.) it's not easy to hide.  
The drill sergeant inside me screams thinking about the mistakes, and Lucatiel was right to laugh at my earlier misfortune.  
"Is there anything you are good at, your Highness?" The honorific being added sarcastically.  
"Well, the only thing I seemed to excel at was music."  
When I say excel, dear reader, I mean it was the only thing I paid attention to. I hated learning how to be an Emperor, all that politics and bullshit. This is partly as to why I took an active roll in the military, shortly after leaving the land of Drangleic. I still hold the title of Emperor of course, but it's my wife who rules, along with High Command.  
I'm a pathetic politician anyway, much better as a soldier.  
"I play the Harpsichord. You could say that's my weapon of choice," I continued. Oh yes the harpsichord, an utterly beautiful instrument. The first instrument I fell in love with. It wasn't the only instrument I played at the time however, the other being a hurdy-gurdy. The duck-billed platypus of instruments.  
Is it a violin? Is it a keyboard? Is it a lute with a crank? Nobody knows, except everyone who has played and/or handled a hurdy-gurdy.  
I have 3 harpsichords, this might seem excessive but when you discover that I also own 43 guitars, most of which are Gibson sg standards...yeah. What can I say, I love my music.  
I do play all three when I can, sometimes at the same time and I'll get to how later on. (If you're curious about which piece is my favourite for the harpsichord, one that you humans would know, that would have to be Händel's _Suite No.7 in G Minor._ Now that's a piece of music by a true baroque-star...had to get the dad joke in there.)  
The hurdy-gurdy not so much, I did own one until about 15 or so years ago, it was definitely the 80s. I remember that much.  
I was living in a little apartment just off Westgate road, in a fit of drunken shenanigans, I stripped a humbucker from a cheap guitar I'd bought and thought it was a clever idea to attach it to my hurdy-gurdy. This hurdy-gurdy being a good 500 years old.  
That poor instrument gave it's life for my stupidity, it shall never be forgotten.

I could go on seemingly forever about music and instruments, but that's not what you're here for. So, until the next time I get sidetracked back we go 130 billion years.  
"Oh, what a surprise. The noble play a harpsichord, tell me something new," The woman rolled her eyes.  
Something was telling me she didn't like the nobility, even though from her mannerisms she was trying to pass herself off as one.

I bet she was the kind of girl that dreamed of being a princess when she was little, waiting for the day a prince would come a sweep her off her feet and take her away from the hard life of a peasant.  
Wouldn't it be good if life was like a fairytale?  
I doubt it.  
We didn't speak much more and returned to the trap door. I went first and was greeted by Ornstein, who promptly scolded me for running off on my own. Not that he had gone off on his own or anything.  
Then Lucatiel came back up and I swear the man scoffed in disgust, asking what we could possibly have been doing down that hole.  
What did he think I was doing with her?  
Fingering her behind a mound of bell-keeper corpses, I don't bloody think so.  
We both explained where we had got to.  
"You found the belfry Luna, sir!" Vixen exclaimed, "A sad tale that one. The Princess of Alken and the Prince of Venn, kept apart by their families as their kingdoms were at war. Built the towers so that they could communicate, sir. Killed themselves in the end. Better to be lovers in death, than alone in life."  
Are you, dear reader, thinking what I'm thinking?  
 _Two households, both alike in dignity,  
In fair __Drangleic_ _, where we lay our scene.  
_ What were they called? Jomeo and Ruliet! _  
_Alright, that's a little silly but still.  
"If we can move on from that, should we get going? That big tower to the east, the one that's built off from the main Bastille. Something big in there, I could hear it howling when we were on the belfry. I feel confident enough to suggest that that's the target," I said.

Vixen nodded, "Yes sir, that's sinner's rise. I was part of the group that put her in that cell, quite a while ago now, sir."  
I enquired further about the occupant of that tower, to which Vixen passed me onto Ornstein.  
The dragon slayer propped his spear up against a wall and crossed his arms, "When I first travelled to this land, many many centuries ago, the only things I had in my possession was my armour, my weapon and a very important tome. This tome contained everything we knew about the first flame and the witch's attempt to reignite it. It was stolen by a would be pyromancer, who attempted the same ritual as the witch. Unfortunately, the pyromancer, Gwyn protect, had already gone through with the ritual before your friend got to her. An entire kingdom had to be frozen to stop it's spread. Chaos, almost as bad as the abyss."  
Those last words he spat with contempt.  
I sort of had an understanding of the situation, not that I knew about the witch or the first flame etc.  
When will you mortals learn not to fuck about with nature?  
Probably never.  
Obviously I now understand what the problem was and whilst I can't tell them, I can tell you reading this, regardless of if you're human, Erebayan or whatever.  
Life decays, there is nothing anyone can do about it. You might be able to prolong the dark by keeping the flames lit, but flames die.  
Don't fight it, accept and you don't get these kinds of situations.  
Though from that little block of exposition my question was, "Centuries? How old are you?"  
The man exhaled through his nose, "I stopped counting, but I would guess over 5000."  
5000! Fuck off, humans don't live that long. You lot have a nice little biological clock that tends to ring between 70 and 100. Not 5 fucking thousand.  
I then asked Vixen and he said 766…for my reaction re-read the last part.  
After this I asked Lucatiel.  
"Very impolite of you to ask a lady her age!" She scoffed, "But I'm 29."  
There you go, a proper age for a human.  
Though my mouth was still like a whore's legs, wide open. I was in shock at the age difference. As far as I knew both Vixen and Ornstein were not undead, surely they could not still be alive.  
"I am a lord, as is the pursuer."

"And I am an Emperor, but what's that got to do with the price of fish?"  
Ornstein then pointed past me at Lucatiel, "The undead woman is a pygmy, not a lord. They never have lived as long."  
Two sets of humans, different due to evolution or in the words of Ornstein, because of the different type of soul that inhabited their bodies.  
Yeah, I'm going with the evolution option, the soul is literally a vessel of consciousness and no more than that. At least that's the story I'm sticking with.  
Leaving the whole 'age' thing be, we set off again.  
More of those gaolers stood in our way, but fell like the rest. There were also these kamikaze undead, mummified like the gaolers.

I was fine with the whole undead thing, but exploding mummies…

These mummies were next to the same barrels that I had found in the fortress, thankfully we disposed of them before the whole room went up.  
I wondered why a prison would need black powder, well it wasn't really black powder but it's an easy comparison.  
I did get a chance to taste the powder and remembering back there was no charcoal or sulphur in the mix, a lot of saltpetre and other stuff though.  
All I can think is that it was infused with magic and that's why it went bang.

However my thoughts on explosives were cut short, as we had reached the entrance to sinner's rise.  
Crossbowmen pelted us with bolts as we crossed the very open bridge to reach the outermost tower, they weren't very good shots however. Sallet's aren't very good when trying to shoot someone, vision slit's far too thin.  
Now, this tower was a large, foreboding thing. The kind of tower you might find some form of dark lord in, cackling away as he schemes, evil schemes.  
"She resides within a cavern beneath the ocean floor. We thought it the best place to put her, as we could always collapse the cavern onto her cell,"Vixen looked down to the raging water's below us. I was looked back toward the small dock where we had first entered, the only thing visible of the carrack were the tips of her masts, barely hanging on above the waves.  
The bag that I had taken from the religious zealot was now hung from one of the three belts around my waist; it eventually dawned on me that it was easier to have it that way, than to continuously attach and detach it from the spear.  
There were only the tomes left in the sack anyway, though I can safely state that I could comfortably stave someone's skull in with one.

I didn't obviously try that. It's a book, not a fucking mace.

The spear worked well enough against the gorgeous Gothic plate, I really don't enjoy destroying that kind of armour.

Something as beautiful as Gothic shouldn't be practical, yet it is.  
The same goes with munition armour, which isn't exactly pretty, but I like it.

On the other hand, Maximilian and White armour...gaudy is one word that springs to mind.  
Want to take a guess at which armour style the Erebayan army used?  
So, with the other royal knights dispatched we turned to the lift. Myself and Lucatiel went first, being the ones with the lightest equipment. Then followed Vixen and then Ornstein, as I believe his armour was the heaviest.  
The lift contraption held, though I doubt the four of us could have stood on it at once.  
We were then greeted by utter abominations, failed experiments of this Aldia character I had heard about.

They were all put out of their misery, no sense in keeping a creature like those alive.  
These _things_ had been kept in pens, alongside which were even more cells. I assume for the more dangerous occupants of the Bastille.  
The submerged path narrowed and we were funnelled onto a walkway, this spanned between the tower and the sinner's cell.  
"You helped put her in here, Vixen. What are we going to expect?"  
The brute shrugged, "I wouldn't think much of a threat. She was shackled, so low mobility."  
"All the same pursuer, we best keep our guard up. The thing has a lord soul," The lion-helmed knight again started to smother the spear tip with resin.  
Lucatiel had also readied her weapon and had also equipped a buckler. Again where she was hiding this, only the omnipotent gods know and there are no omnipotent gods, just extremely clever gods. I am not one of those.  
We were ready and entered the great cell.  
Pitch black greeted us, that and a ragged breathing.  
"Where is the sinner? I can't see in this damned dark!" Ornstein snarled; Vixen and Lucatiel parroting the same.  
I could see however, the woman was at the far end of the cell hunched over. What was left of her prison attire hung loosely, no more that scraps swaying in the light breeze that passed through.  
As the brute had said, the sinner was shackled and on her face an iron mask. It looked very uncomfortable.

There was something that I could see however that worried me.  
"Vixen? Did the sinner have a guard put on her?"  
"Yes she did, sir. Why do you ask?"  
"Because parts of him are scattered around the room, and I do believe the sinner has the guards sword," I tightened my grip on the spear.  
The sinner's masked face turned towards Ornstein, and it stood, sword grasped awkwardly in her shackled hands.

Surely this couldn't be too hard a fight?  
The sinner then jumped from her hunched position, some good several feet into the air, landing close to the dragon slayer. A few inches closer and the man would have been struck in the gut.  
The other two still hadn't had their eyes adjust to the dark and were blind to the sinner's location, Ornstein was jabbing at the area the initial sword stroke had come from, but he was hitting nothing but air.  
The sinner was now behind him and was priming for another strike.  
I called to the man, who twisted his body and caught the sword with the butt of his spear, swinging the rest round and catching the sinner.  
That staggered the woman.  
Vixen was then at my side, vision a little clearer.  
Lucatiel however had disappeared. I even checked the floor, but no sign of her body.  
That wasn't the time to worry about the undead blonde though, Ornstein was in trouble.  
The dragon slayer had fallen, his feet having caught on a piece of gaoler.  
The sinner was above him, sword held high.  
In that split second I thought about letting the sinner end the man's life, he had been nothing but horrid to me. Yet he had also helped me, his skill in combat was like nothing I had seen, yes Vixen was good but Ornstein was a master.  
I couldn't bring myself to let it happen.  
With my spear held above my head, I put myself between the sinner and Ornstein.

The shaft of the spear should have been enough to stop the sword, at least this was my reasoning. I had nasty shock when the sinner brought the sword down, as she did it with such force that the spear split in two and the sword continued through my helmet and visor.  
Swords don't do that, but this woman was strong.  
My move had been a wise one however, as the sinner had missed Ornstein. It was then the room burst into light, glorious, sweet light.  
Two great vats of oil burned high above the cell, blinding the sinner and the rest of us. That didn't stop me from drawing my own sword and slashing directly in front of me.  
I felt the weighted tip bite into flesh, highlighted by a howl of pain. The creature's stolen sword clattered to the ground, along with something softer.  
As the blur finally turned into a clear image, the sight of a headless sinner filled my eyes. Vixen and his great sword slightly to my left, and Ornstein still on the ground.  
Pain then struck me, for whatever reason the wound caused when the sinner's sword went through my helmet hadn't healed or at least not fully.  
I removed the helmet, throwing it to the floor and placing a hand to the wound. I pulled it away bloody, I had never experienced that before; Minor body failure.  
The sword had just missed my right eye, that was lucky.  
"That looks nasty, sir. Are you alright?" Vixen asked, concern laced his words.  
I nodded and looked down at the dragon slayer, "What about sir Ornstein, the sinner didn't get you did she?"

The man in the dulled grey armour propped himself up, "No, a little wounded pride maybe creature, but I am unharmed."  
My attention was then drawn to the blonde undead standing by the main door, "And where the bloody hell did you fuck off to?"  
The knight of Mirrah explained how she had been the one to light the vats of oil, thinking that would aid us. The key we had found opened the doors to them.  
Well it did, in a matter of speaking.  
It's a good thing Vixen's sight returned when it did, otherwise things may have played out differently.  
"The head's moving, is the sinner not yet dead," Vixen cried, startled by the sinner's head.  
From the mask's left eye socket crawled a repulsive looking insect, the host now dead it needed a new body to inhabit.  
The things body pulsated and wriggled on underdeveloped legs, straight towards my waiting boot. The insect squealed as it crushed between my heel and the floor, leaving no more than a stain on the grey stone.  
And with a quick scrape against the sinner's body, I removed the rest from my boot.  
"Sunlight maggots or whatever you want to call them. It's a long way from it's place of birth. I have never seen one so small, one of the fair-lady's brood I suppose. Gwyn should have killed them too," Ornstein stood fully and picked up his weapon, "Thank you creature, but do not think that saving my life means I think any better of you."  
All I did was shrug in vague recognition of the man's thank you, then motioned for Vixen to collect the soul.  
It was brighter than the rest, with a deep orange hue.

"Alright then, job done. Is there anything else we need to do here?" I asked, staring at my broken spear. I picked up the end with the spear tip, as I could always have the blacksmith produce another shaft.  
"The sinner was the only thing here. We leave now," Ornstein snatched the broken spear away from me, throwing it to one end of the cell and walked out.  
We didn't have any trouble getting out, but seeing as the ship we had sailed on was now effectively a U-boat we had to walk.  
It took a good week and a half to get back to Majula, would have been even less if Ornstein hadn't gotten us lost.

The man can fight, but he can't tell his left from right.

As dawn burst through the clouds, the ghost town came into view. Not a soul was present, with the exception on the Shanalotte curled up by the fire.  
I let her be and went up to the monument, sitting down with my legs over the precipice.  
The soft sound of the waves below, a beautiful serenade that lulled me off to sleep for the first time in two weeks.

* * *

 **Just to give you a little clarity on the more obscure references:**

 **The first being John mentioning 'Neil' and 'history repeating', this is in reference to my musical God Neil Finn and his/Split Enz's 1981 song _History Never Repeats.  
'You're my shot, you're my obsession' _Is part of Asia's _Obsession_ (Specifically the opening line of the chorus) _._ Which is on the 2004 re-release of the Aqua album.  
The trap door one is in reference to the quaint 80s children's TV show of the same name. It's a wonderfully cheesy TV theme.  
You can find and have a listen to all of them actual songs on YouTube if you're curious.**

 **There will be many more, I have written John as a music lover after all.**


	5. Brief Respite

**Here we go with the next chapter of...this, call it what you will.  
** **I'm probably going to go back through the earlier chapters and clean them up before starting to write the next, and make them just that little nicer.**  
 **As always I don't own the rights to the game, or the several references throughout etc. etc.**  
 **I do hope those of you reading this enjoy and any feedback is welcome.  
**

* * *

 **Brief Respite**

Waking up from a not so long slumber, I found the sun to have risen.  
I was stiff as a hell.  
Well, that's what you get for falling asleep in an awkward place. Every muscle creaked, every joint popped and the wound on my face throbbed. Fucking minor body failure!

I muttered several swears under my breath and forced myself up.

Majula was still quiet, my odd little company still asleep in a few makeshift tents, only the emerald herald seemed to be knocking about.  
The bonfire flickered away and looked a damn side more inviting than a cold hard monument, and so I made my way over.  
Shanalotte greeted me with indifference, continuing to swing her legs over the rock she was sat upon.

"And a good morning to you too," I attempted to start a conversation. Silence.

The woman shifted slightly to face the sun, "I assume you retrieved the first lord soul?"  
Alright, straight to business.

"Yes, the lost sinner has been dispatched and her soul collected," I half heartedly informed her and placed the tip of a cigarette I had nicked from Ornstein into the bonfire. I say cigarette, though it was really just a thin metal tube stuffed with dried leaf.

"Which of you has the soul?" Shanalotte asked.

"Vixen...sorry, the pursuer. I can't touch the things, probably for the best though. I'd most likely lose it."

My aching muscles were finally starting to loosen up, which felt glorious. Then taking the cat approach and stretched out, every part of me cracking like a piece of wood underfoot.

That creaking/cracking only got worse with age, it's bloody murder. It was at it's worst about 80 odd years ago in those damned trenches. Hard to raid Tommy lines when old man Johann won't stop making noise.  
Now that was a shit show, the sequel was even worse.

"When he wakes, tell him to give it to me. Then you can go for the next lord," She crossed her arms and looked over to the rotunda.  
I took a drag on the cigarette and it wasn't like any fag I'd had, almost flavourless, but I got a nice buzz from it.  
Exhaling, I watched the grey smoke dance above the flames.

I was then made abundantly aware that I was hungry by the growling of my stomach. Though where I was to get food in Majula was beyond me.  
Cale might have had something, he did last time, so it was to the manor house I went.

The cartographer was hunched over several maps and charts, thin flicker of candle light washed over his craggy features.  
I made my presence known by clearing my throat.  
The man scarcely moved his head, "Oh, you're back."  
It looked as if he hadn't been sleeping.

"I found something you might find interesting, if you would just give me a moment," Cale mumbled, scribbling something down on parchment.  
I'd humour the man and then ask if he had any food.

The cartographer hummed and harred, then with a defeated sigh threw down his writing implement. He turned to me and flicked his head in the direction of the basement of the manor.  
It was damp and dark; the ground soft and spongy.  
A rather large slab of stone was the main focus of the room; a small light burning on one of the many 'shelves'.

It didn't really click until I was right up next to it. A map of Drangleic, well sort of, carved from an element known as titanite.  
The cove from which the carrack had set sail jumped out at me, then the Bastille following it. That was where the light sat.

"It just appeared last week," Cale told me, looking over my shoulder.

"I wonder if the lord souls have anything to do with it?" I muttered, crouching down and brushing the light with my fingers.  
Like with a soul, it just slipped through my digits like water. It wasn't hot or cold, no weight, it was just there.  
Odd.  
Probably magic, or other such wytchcraft.

It was then I discovered the acoustics of the basement with the very obvious rumble of my stomach.  
"Hungry?" Cale asked, an eyebrow raised.

I nodded and was told that the blacksmith had found, and butchered some wild pigs.  
The man needn't say more, I would quite happily devour one whole.  
Pork is an amazing meat and as both gods and men know, it's grease cures hangovers 99.9% of the time.  
Cale then told me on top of having fresh pork, that the blacksmith had also managed to fix up the old bathhouse, behind the manor.  
Food and a place to bathe, what more could I ask for?  
Other than wanting to be back safely in Erebay, maybe a few pints, being with others of my own species etc., etc.

I had the cartographer escort me to the food and there it was, hanging in all it porcine goodness. Did I know how to cook the thing? Of course not. Emperors don't cook their own food, at least until I joined the army cos' that excuse doesn't wash.

So, I grabbed the closest knife and hacked a lump off, then took it to the bonfire.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Shanalotte shouted, "That is part of the first flame and a lifeline for the undead. It's not for your personal use!"

I ignored the woman and started to cook the pork on a bit of sharpened stick.

Shanalotte huffed, opened her mouth to speak but stopped and started gawking at the rather large shadow that was looming over me.  
Well, it was either going to be the pursuer or the dragon slayer.

The shadow moved and the man sat next to me.  
"So, that's what you look like," I glanced briefly to my right.

Ornstein grunted and warmed his hands.  
He was rather plain looking, neither hansom nor ugly. His hair grey, well kept; salt and pepper stubble covered jaw.

"I was starting to believe that armour was never coming off," I smirked, turning the lump of pork over in the flames.

"When do we leave?" He asked bluntly.

"When I get a new helm and spear made."

I already had in mind the kind of helmet I wanted, a morion or a 'pikeman's pot'. It was a helmet that would give me good protection and vision, being basically a metal hat.

A drop of fat dripped into the fire, popping and sizzling. It was nearly done, and it was looking good.

"You've not going to eat that are you," The dragon slayer cocked an eyebrow, "It's burnt."

Burnt my foot! It was...it was...caramelised. Aye, that's it. Caramelised.  
That's my usual excuse anyway whenever I hear 'dad, you've cremated the food!'  
I never burn food, just caramelise it.

The pork itself was lovely and it all disappeared, even the chunks of rib I'd hacked off with the meat.  
Both Shanalotte and Ornstein turn their heads in disgust as I crunched bit of bone; my body burns anything for energy, so generally I will eat the bone and generally anything else you may consider inedible.  
That doesn't mean I eat anything however, I have standards. It has to be actual food, of course.

Food eaten, I set about looking at the bathhouse.

It was quite a luxurious bath all things considered, a lot of work to get it actually going. The blacksmith had only opened the door and had cleared away some debris.  
A fairly complex heating system lay below the ground, though all I needed to do was light a fire. I'll skip the rest, as I doubt reading about me getting the bath house ready and bathing is of any interest.  
Nice to get clean though.

My penultimate stop was Maughlin's little store and had a chat with him about getting some new armour. It was also then I got a good look at the scar that adorned my face.

In the mirror I found my doppelgänger looking back. Only one of my eyes were on show, the other hidden by my fringe which covers most of the left side of my face.  
People are normally a bit put off when they come to my eyes, they're the colour of molten gold and really stand out against the pale skin and black hair. Even more so now with the make-up we Erebayans wear around our eyes.  
Then there was the scar itself, an ugly thing that ran from just above my right eyebrow, over my eye and closely following the nose, before crossing my lips and ending just above the chin. It was a violent red and stung like hell. It wasn't really the pain that was getting to me, but the infernal itching.  
It's a good conversation starter, as are the other scars I've picked up over the year. Two more on the face, one particularly nasty one on my neck from an Angelic spear.  
I'm still a handsome bugger though!

I told the armourer that I would have his payment ready when the armour was; I would send Vixen in to the lowest price we could.  
Maughlin was the timid type, it wouldn't take much to intimidate him.

My final port of call was Lenigrast, who was in his usual pleasant mood.

"I had given you up for dead, being gone as long as you were. Now don't just stand there, and tell me what you want," The large green skinned man grumbled.

I asked for a new spear, a dagger as I was in desperate need of a close personal defence weapon and one can never have too many daggers or knives.  
I also mentioned I needed a new headwear; the blacksmith nodded, pulling an ingot from shelf and began to work.

"Stand back, this is dangerous work."

I did as asked and admired his work from afar. Blacksmithing is one of those things I find fascinating, a true art form and one that is sadly fading.  
Wish I could smith; I've tried it and yeah probably best left untold that story. I can take apart the coupled engines from one of our heavy bombers and put them back in better condition than came out as, but I can't smith. There's a lot of shite I can't do, you may have already gathered that.

The ingot was now a soft cherry red, and I would have taken it out then and there. Again though, not a smith.  
As much as I would have liked to watch the whole process, I was only in the way. I returned to the bonfire.

Ornstein had disappeared, Vixen taking his place in front of the flames.

"Sir," He smiled down at me, "You look well."

"Sleep, good food and a bath will do that," I smiled back.

"Oh yes, I've heard about this bathhouse. A little bit of luxury amidst this misery."

A true enough statement.  
Like with sleep, you never pass up an opportunity to partake in a little luxury.  
My mind then turned to our knight of Mirrah, was she not awake yet?

"Lucatiel is up, sir. She and the herald went off together."

I didn't want to know any more than that. Women's time is something I knew better than dig into; the wife has five younger sisters and you learn the hard way never to interrupt or pry. You leave well enough alone.

"Shanalotte wants the sinner's soul," I said, running my fingers over the flame tips.

"She has it, sir," The brute replied, "Don't worry about it."

Well, now we could find out where we were off to next. All over Majula the ringing hammer of the smith sang out, I could have probably fallen back to sleep to that rhythmic hammering.

"I'll need you to pay for the new equipment; don't give Maughlin too many souls, that bastard's armour is substandard."

If it wasn't for the fact he was the only armourer (Yes, Lenigrast produced armour but I wasn't looking for full plate), I would have looked elsewhere.  
Behind me I could hear the heavy footsteps of Ornstein re-entering Majula, the crunch of gravel suggested that he had come from the main entrance of the village.  
I didn't look to see, but I think he was heading towards the armourer.

It was rather nice the village of Majula, even with the land caught in the midst of a curse. Myself and Vixen stayed by the bonfire for a good long while, every now and again someone would come over and then leave. Even that rather morose fellow who normally stayed by the monument came down, not that he said anything.

I probed the pursuer a bit about himself. It was your standard shit, son of a noble family blah, blah, blah, etc. you get the picture.  
He had been groomed from day one to be one of Vendrick's knights, though he only managed to become a pursuer. They were meant to hunt down criminals, then the undead once the curse struck.

Now, his younger sister actually became one of Vendrick's knights. Which one, well we'll get to that later on.  
The brute didn't really give much away about his sister, though there seemed to be a bit of a rivalry between then.  
Something about the brief description intrigued me and Vexa Kellantine would continue to intrigue me until this present day.  
Some stories there I tell you, but I think I'll keep them private.

I sometimes find it hard to believe there was a time without the pair in my life, they've been a big part of it. Good god below, an eternity.  
Our chat was cut a little short as both the voices of Shanalotte and Lucatiel cut across the village. The two were walking from the direction of the bathhouse, and the sight of the two caused something to stir deep inside me.

It had finally struck me how _beautiful_ the two were. Also the first time seeing Shanalotte without her hood up.  
I tore my eyes away and took a moment's breather. My objective here was to get out of here, not to have sex. Whilst that wouldn't be a bad thing, Maslow's hierarchy and all that (Although I subscribe more to the prophet Ian Druy's life philosophy. You know, _Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, __is_ _all my brain and body need_ ), but it really wasn't appropriate at the time.

"Are you alright, sir?"

A thin blush had crept it's way across my cheeks.  
"Just thinking about something I shouldn't be thinking about. Anyway, I'd like to think we'll be out of here in a day or two."

I glanced to the herald, she was smiling. That was an unnerving sight; Lucatiel on the other hand still had a face like a smacked arse. Maybe I'm exaggerating, the ghost of a smile flickered on her lips. So there was that.  
The hair of both women caught the sunlight and gave each the appearance of a halo, but far from angels they were.

"Stop staring, von Bayer," The blonde narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

I blew air through my lips, "I wasn't staring, just lost in thought."

"Has that excuse ever worked?"

No, not that I answered.

Shanalotte cleared her throat, saving me from having to explain myself.  
"Your next soul will be found in the kingdom of Venn," She started, pushing her fringe to one side revealing her mismatched eye, "You'll find the path next to the sewer entrance, the one you took to Heide."

Vixen bit his lip, "The Iron King. Getting into Venn will be interesting."

"Please don't tell me that we have to go on another boat!"

Vixen shook his head, "Venn was swallowed by the ground, sir. Molten metal and rock flow like rivers and they say that the Iron King's keep is in the hands of a demon."

A daemon, that was going to be fun. I had heard about them before stumbling into Drangleic, the so called opposite of we gods. That isn't really the case, more that they are mindless beasts. Vermin you could say.

"Then there are the mines before you get to the castle and the copse, thick of hollows and man-hunters," He ran a hand over his chin, "Myself and the dragon slayer shouldn't have much of a problem, but for yourself and Lady Lucatiel I'm not so sure."

The blonde huffed, "Unlike him I can fight!"

The brute held up his hand, "I'm not disputing that fact, but I'm worried about when we get to the castle. There are still Alonne knights patrolling, and they may be above the skill of a Mirrah knight."

There was something in the eyes of the brute.  
"Even without a master they continue to serve. The word I would use is fanatic."

Fanaticism is loyalty to the extreme and depending on the circumstance not always a bad thing, though when cults start forming you need to be concerned.  
"Let's worry more about that when we reach the Iron Keep, yes?"  
No point in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

The brute nodded curtly.

The day, after that little interaction, dragged on, as did the next. To kill time both Ornstein and Vixen helped me get more familiar with the weapons I was using.  
Lucatiel sat watching the whole debacle, sniggering behind a hand every time I made a mistake. She could laugh all she wanted, it didn't bother me one bit.

Now don't think for one second that I became proficient with the weapons in a moment, I only got to practice for a day before my equipment was ready.

Now a quick rundown of what I was now wearing. Gone was the royal soldier garb, the leather, the mail coat etc.  
For my body, I wore a simple padded gambeson. The only pieces of armour were a gorget, and the aforementioned morion. Lenigrast had even thrown in a bevor that attached to the gorget itself. It was a nice little set up.  
As for the new spear, I guess you would call it a Bohemian earspoon and yes that is a real spear. I was ready.

"So, just down there then," I asked the herald, motioning with my head towards the rotunda. The woman nodded and turned to walk away, but stopped.

Something had been bothering me for the several days we had been back in Majula, "Where's the cat?"

Shanalotte shrugged, "She disappears from time to time. She'll probably be back the next time your in Majula."

I hummed lightly in response, then decided to be cheeky.  
"I'm off now, sweetheart. Don't wait up for me, I won't be back 'til late."  
Throughout me saying this I slowly backed away, before blowing her a kiss in a rather mocking fashion.

The sweet sound of the herald loosing some rather vulgar obscenities towards me was a serenade, a symphony. I am truly a cunt, and I wondered why the lasses didn't like me.  
I couldn't help but smirk at the brute shaking his head at me.

"Was that really necessary, sir?"

Shrugging, I passed the man and walked through the entrance to the rotunda.

Ornstein was at the centre, grunting in annoyance.

"We're stuck creature," Was his answer, when I asked what was the matter.

Turns out you needed a key to start the mechanism to turn the rotunda, a key that was missing. So what do you do when you have a door with no key? Well, you break it down of course.  
The pursuer and Ornstein were sent back above to borrow a hammer each from Lenigrast, the smith had several so I doubt he'd miss two.

As we waited for the two 'lords' to return, I decided to spark a conversation.  
"Seems like you and the herald got on well."

The blonde undead exhaled through her nose and turned away, "That's none of your concern."

"Maybe. Maybe not," I crossed my arms and leant against the central column, "She seemed happy though. Wonder how many undead actually try and interact with her like she was a normal person?"

"She is a normal person," The blonde undead replied softly, "Just like anyone else. Not you however."

That was true, by human standards anyway. I wouldn't really call any of this normal in the first place. Then again, what is normal?

"I'll take that as a compliment," The comment was only half sarcastic, not that the woman cared enough to respond.

"Like anyone else," The blonde repeated, "She just needs a little bit of company every now and again."

I'll once again draw your attention, dear reader, to Maslow's hierarchy.

"Her only 'friend' is a cat, for the goddesses sake," The woman threw up her arms, "I don't think anyone could understand how lonely she gets."

I clicked my tongue and looked Lucatiel straight in the eyes, "I do. I know exactly what loneliness the herald might be feeling and I know it's nothing. Imagine if you would an infinite nothing, then imagine yourself as the only inhabitant. A floating mass of consciousness, all alone with nothing but your thoughts. No light, no dark, heat, cold, no life. Just you, the only thing that can think and that's all you can do."

 _I have no mouth and I must scream_ comes to mind.

"There is no such thing as time, but you feel every moment."

Truth be told, I wasn't that lonely and may have been a little dramatic in telling Lucatiel. I was more bored than anything else. Hell, I never even meant to create reality. It just sort of happened, by accident. Sort of throws a spanner in the works of the many creationist myths. 'god had a plan and that's why we were created', no god fucking didn't.

Anyway, Lucatiel didn't really look like she was buying it.

"Let's say that this theoretically happened, how would you the only being in the whole of existence know what the concept of loneliness is?"

I don't bloody know how I knew, I'm not paid to think about these things. I'm not paid to think in general and yes, I have thought about it, and it made my head hurt.  
"When I have an answer, I'll let you know" I huffed, forgetting the fact I could quite literally show her my memories. Not that looking that far back in my mind was interesting.

"Are you sure that infinite nothingness isn't the space between your ears?"

Now it was her turn to be the sarcastic one, it seemed.

"I have the perfect instrument to check if that's the case!" Ornstein's voice boomed. The way the rotunda was built amplified the sound considerably.

The man was clutching an oversized smithing hammer, as was Vixen behind him.

"We would have been back sooner, but the smith really didn't want to let go of these," The dragon slayer was grinning.

I didn't ask why. It was like with a happy Shanalotte, a happy Ornstein unnerved me.

"Step away from for the wall please, Lady Lucatiel. Don't want to hurt you, ma'am," Vixen smiled warmly, waiting for her to move.  
The brute nodded to the dragon slayer, then brought the hammer down on the wall.  
Consecutive blows brought the wall down quickly, in a cloud of dust and rubble.

"One new door, sir," The brute stated calmly, "We'll return the hammers now."  
Vixen bowed his head and left.

Ornstein was still smirking, "I see now why Smough loved his so much."  
He left the rotunda with a slight cackle.

Lucatiel narrowed her eyes, "Who's Smough?"

"Don't know. A friend of his perhaps."  
I didn't care.

A few moments later the 'lords' appeared and off we went

The difference was in the terrain was noticeable instantly; not two steps out of the rotunda could you see it.  
Even with harvest valley being days away, I was struck by the stink of decay. Decaying plant matter, decaying flesh and other niceties.  
I found it very difficult not to wretch at the equally vile chemical taste the air had.  
Curse these damned highly tuned senses of mine.

A day into the march we found ourselves facing hunters and man-catchers, called so because of their pole-arms.  
"The Iron King really despised the undead, sir," Vixen informed me, snapping one of the odd weapons on his knee, "Organised hunts and threw them in great colosseums."  
This Iron King had me interested, seemed like a right bastard, but interesting.

"Well, it's a good thing only one of us is undead. And you know if things get bad we can always throw Lucatiel at them. Bit of light entertainment," I sent a smirk her way.

Vixen chuckled, "I don't think that's very nice, sir. Aren't we friends by now?"

"We are not 'all' friends, pursuer," Ornstein grumbled, "Why should I be friends with an undead and whatever he is."

I never asked to be friends with him either, but in this game you don't choose. So, you have to try your best to get along regardless.

"Oh yes, I've been meaning to ask you something creature. I seem some of my smoking leaf has disappeared, along with one of the smoke sticks. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Shit...no, no. I was going to, what's it the Yanks say, play it cool.  
"No idea, sir dragon slayer. Though I am shocked that you would think _I_ had something to do with it."

The dragon slayer rolled his eyes, dug a hand into one of the pouches hanging from his belt.  
"Here," He tosses a rolled lump dried leaf at me, "That's all you're getting, don't ask for more and don't steal from me again. Is that clear?"

I nodded curtly and rolled the lump in my hand.  
That was rather nice of him and it would keep me happy for a little while.

"I don't understand wanting to inhale that kind of stuff, sir. Can't be good for the lungs," The brute said, slight concern in his voice and he was right. For most normal people it isn't good for the lungs, but I'm not a normal person. I mean i have been smoking for a good 130 billion years and my lungs are lumps of pure tar, but who needs lungs anyway.

"I just like it, Vixen."

Nicotine or the equivalent is one of the only drugs the effects us Erebayan, the others being alcohol, caffeine and methamphetamine. The latter being used for extended combat when sleeping is limited.

"I would never touch them either," Lucatiel spoke, "There are similar things in Mirrah, but those who smoke them live short lives."

"Well it's not like I'm saying you have to smoke yourself. Just that I like it."

I tore part of the leaf off from the lump and crammed it into the tube, then using a flint got the little bugger lit.

Ornstein called to us and like in the Bastille we just had to follow the corpses, sort of like a demented version of the Wizard of Oz. Follow the bloody, corpse strewn road. Don't quite have the same ring, does it?

"Path splits up ahead. Which way do we go?"  
The dragon slayer was leaning against his spear, pointing to the two paths.

"Right," I said straight away and no objections. I'm pretty sure that Vixen knew the bloody way, but he didn't say nowt.

On we marched removing man-catchers and hunters alike, until we were faced with one of the colosseums.  
The hunched form of a dead knight was silhouetted against the door.

"Goodness, a Syan knight," The brute tapped the corpse with his foot, "Probably out here in search of the king."  
I wondered for a moment what was going through the dead knight's mind before his demise. Was it fear, or the thought of failure?  
It didn't matter, he was dead.

Side-stepping the knight we entered the colosseum and all was quiet, with the exception of a slight scraping sound.  
Myself and Ornstein had our spears at the ready, Vixen and Lucatiel too with their swords.

The thing then came hurtling round the corner. A daemonic looking horse with two heads, pulling a chariot with scythes attached to the wheels.  
"Out! Out!" The dragon slayer cried and the four of us bolted to the door, making it just before the horse closed in.

Alright then, how the hell were we going to deal with this?

"If there were more of us with spears, we could form a phalanx," Ornstein said.

Phalanx? Phalanx...I knew that word. The earliest iteration of the Erebayan army used them, as did many armies.  
Tightly packed square formations of pikemen and normally deadly, when utilised properly.  
The idea was that the horse tended to be be the one with all the brains, the rider not so much, and would normally stop before hitting the spears.

"I might be able to help with, dragon slayer," I smiled, "I know how to get something close to a phalanx."

The man scoffed at my offering to help.

So along with shadow-dancing we pure-borns also have this other fascinating ability we refer to as war-wraithing; the ability to clone oneself to an extent. Whilst the clones are all linked to me on a fundamental level, they are all completely autonomous. I know some that can produce some thousand war-wraiths, I, now, can manage around 300. It's last ditch thing really, it burns through so much energy.  
5 or 6 is alright, it's comfortable. Unfortunately 5 of those wraiths developed personalities separate from my own. I _lovingly_ refer to them as Tomas, Hans, Wolfram, Bernhart and Johanna. We do not speak about Johanna. I never really wanted to know what a female me would have been like and I don't mean she's a fucking tranny either, I mean whole kit and fucking caboodle.  
Probably stemmed from that one repressed thought every man has thought about once in his life, _I wonder what it's like to have tits_?  
Anyhoo, I managed around 60 wraiths all clad in the same armour, with the same weapons.

"Oh, Gwyn protect!" The dragon slayer gasped, "There's more of him."

I rolled my eyes, "Just be ready to end that thing's life."

My wraiths already knew what I was thinking, they were me after all. We waited for the horse and chariot to pass, then rushed into position.  
Several ranks filled the corridor, I in the front with the butt of my spear grounded and we waited. My heart pounded within my chest as the scraping grew louder and again it rounded the corner. Me, myself and I all tightened our grips on the spears.  
It seemed that for a moment or two that the horse wasn't going to stop and ram straight through me, but it didn't. At the last possible moment, the beast reared and was knocked down by the momentum of the chariot. Yes, it crushed a few wraiths, but they don't feel anything and just returned to my body.  
Turns out I didn't need to have Vixen, Ornstein or Lucatiel help as my wraiths and I managed to end the beasts life with ease, then the charioteer and then a few animated skeletons, and their puppet masters.  
With that done the wraiths dissipated, I collapsed to my knees and vomited. 60 wraiths it seemed was still beyond my abilities.

My first taste of a military formation, a very sloppy formation but it worked.

"That was rather impressive, sir," Vixen grabbed me under the arm and pulled me to my feet, "Almost looked like you knew what you were doing."  
The cheeky bastard grinned, "Could almost pass as a half trained peasant, sir."

I managed a small chuckle.

The brute then passed me a wineskin, "Drink, you'll feel better."

I did as such and he was right, I did feel slightly better. It wasn't wine in the skin but water, which to be honest I was thankful for. I hate wine.

"Is there anything else we should know about you creature?" Ornstein grumbled, prodding the daemon horse.

I started listing off on my fingers, "Can't die, can teleport very short distances, can multiply myself. I'm god, not your god but _a_ god. I'm an emperor. Think that's about it."

"You know something, I'm not even going to argue. You're strange enough creature that you might as well be a god," He crossed his arms and raised his visor.  
"Once thing is clear though, we are continuing to work on your spear handling when we return to Majula."

I wasn't going to argue with him either, the more training the better I would get.

My mind then wandered to the knight of Mirrah, "Have you anything to add, dear, darling Lucatiel?"

The woman harrumphed, "Yes, von Bayer. If you call me dear, darling Lucatiel again, I'll ram that spear up your backside!"

Tut tut tut, such a violent woman.  
"Whatever you say, my dear," I gave her a wry smile and a wink, all whilst hiding being Vixen's mass bulk.

The brute cleared his throat.

"Shall we get moving, sir?" Ushering me away from Lucatiel.

Further up the way our path was blocked as part of the floor had caved in, which begged the question, how did the horse and chariot get over?  
One hell of a jump, like.

The only way from there was up a small flight of stairs and before us was another queer midget. Not like the ones from the bell tower, but equally as mad.  
The thing kept asking us about if we lusted for blood and if it was for our wish to be bathed in it. Yeah, me thinks he was a few rounds short of a full magazine.

"Brotherhood of blood. Pay him no mind, sir," Vixen looked a little nervous, "All the same I think we should all leave now, back the same way."

Before we could say anything Ornstein had ran the midget through.

"We had a similar problem in Lordran. They weren't brotherhood of blood, but better to dispose of the like regardless," The dragon slayer wiped the spear tip clean.

Oh blood cults, I've come across plenty and it's never pleasant. Never been part of one, as in I've never been asked to infiltrate one. Killed my fair share though.  
I actually had a blood cult created in my honour, which I shut down personally because no, do not under any circumstance worship me. I am not that kind of god.  
I will not grant you any favour, or impart upon you any gift (unless you're a really good friend of mine).  
The only covenant I ever made was between myself and my wife, for the most part I can happily say it was worth it.

"We should leave before more turn up, sir. Where one is, more lurk," The brute glanced around the room, eyes never staying on one spot for long.  
To see the man in this state, it made me nervous as well.  
"Let's more on, it wasn't that far back to the fork. Nothing here but echoes anyway."

Vixen went first and I last, skimming over the room like the pursuer had.

If there were other blood cultists or even a malicious deity in the room, I couldn't tell. Normally I can, but the room just felt wrong.

Leaving the colosseum behind, our little party eventually came back to the split and hopefully it was the right way.  
It was.

Found an unfortunate bugger trapped in a cage, I believe he was the fellow that Pâté twat from Cardinal tower was talking about. I had slab of meat 1 remove the door.

The blonde undead pointed out that the man was wearing the armour of a Mirrah footsoldier, and that the one before her was familiar, a criminal.  
"Quite the famous murderer, I was taught about him by my father. You _are_ Creighton, yes?" The woman asked forcefully.

Rather brazen that. The bugger was wearing a mask, so how in the name of all things unholy did she come up with that? For all we knew, it may have just been coincidence that the man was wearing the armour of a Mirrah footsoldier.

The man grunted and curt 'yes'.  
My guess is that Lucatiel got lucky.

"I say we replace the door and leave him," The blonde gave the man a cold glance and strolled out.

I asked Vixen for a moment alone with the man and crotched down before him.  
"How many men did you kill?"

"Four"

"Did they all deserve it?"

"Everyone of them," The man growled, "Every stinking cur."

"And how did you come to be trapped in this cell?"

The man exhaled through his nose, "My own trap was sprung on me by a slippery fellow I had fallen in with. The cheeky prick...I'll kill him."

I described the man at the fortress and this Creighton nodded, "That's him."

"Here's the thing, I didn't trust his face either. I'm going to go against the lady's suggestion and not leave you. Why don't you be a good fellow and scram, and if you so happen across the man...Well, it would be a shame if trouble were to befall him. Yes?"

Although behind a mask, I could tell the man was smiling, "That would be a shame, wouldn't it? I must thank you, who knows how long I would have been locked up."  
Creighton stood, as did I, and took my hand shaking it.

We walked out from the cell together and Creighton ran off in the direction we had come from, disappearing into the mist.

Lucatiel glared daggers at me, "That man was a convicted murderer!"

"As am I, my dear, darling Lucatiel. I murdered my predecessor for stealing the credit for my work and passing himself off as me. I took his scalp, his face and his Empire. I see nothing wrong with murder, so do not throw your morality in my face."

The woman looked dumbstruck by my comment, "Have you no honour?"

"No."

Don't want to be honourable anyway. It's the quickest way to get yourself killed, or void-lost in the case of we pure-borns.  
Also easier to win wars if you play dirty.

The blonde undead huffed and stormed off.

"Sir?" Vixen started, "I'm not going to judge, you not being the same as us, but don't you think it may have been better to have lied to the lady?"  
I shook my head.

"Alright then, sir. Let's catch up with the others, Ornstein and Lucatiel can't have gotten far."


	6. Emotions Make Monsters of Us All

**Alright, you know the drill. I don't own the rights to DS etc, nor the other references.  
** **Not overly sure about this chapter, so any feedback would be welcome and as always thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Past the cages we found a cave system that was powdered with bone dust and a few more animated skeletons, along with their necromancers.  
Vixen was dispatching them with ease, crushing their skulls in his great hands.

He made the act look easy.

Don't get me wrong I could do it too, it's just my hands are small and wouldn't fit round the whole of the skull.

The trick, however, for dealing with these undead was to kill the necromancers and they put little up in way of a fight.

"When Venn was swallowed by the ground, many of the noble families ran to the copse trying their best to keep authority over those who had also escaped. Tyrants each and everyone of them. But not even being a tyrant can stop death," The brute stared at a sliver of bone in his palm.

A true statement, however it does sometime take quite a bit of time for the tyrant to die. I'm thinking about you Stalin, you old bastard.  
I mean he wasn't the only one, but good enough and recent enough for the analogy.

We stumbled into the cavern they had set their thrones in, each made from the bones of their subjects. I'm happy there weren't any necromancers in that cavern as Ornstein hefted up a skeleton lodged in a Catherine wheel.

"We had these bastards in Lordran too. We tried clearing the catacombs once, but never managed to get past these," He threw the wheel skeleton down with such a force it shattered.

"Your homeland seems like lots of fun, sir Ornstein."

"Yes creature, my homeland was a wonderful place once upon a time. Don't know about now however, it has been many, many years."  
The man in the dulled silver armour gave me a melancholic glance.

"Why'd you leave?"

Ornstein hummed lightly, "To find a dear friend, to which I've not had much luck. I turned my back on my homeland; my lord Gwyn had already given himself to the flames and my company were all dead. I was naive in the assumption that the undead curse was only linked to my home. You cannot escape it, it seems."

I'll say it again, don't fuck with nature because she's a bitch and will fuck you twice as hard in return.  
Many a fool has tried to get their way with nature, and she bitches to me about it. I don't know what she wants me to do, that and she cannot afford my services...the cheap bitch.  
I could destroy the entirety of reality, but that doesn't really help anyone and I don't want to deal with the backlash again. She asked me once to send three super-heavy Dreadnoughts to get one person...what do you think my answer was?

"But that is the way of the world," Ornstein continued, "Not that I have the mind to work out why. I'll leave that to the gods, or whatever you are."  
It was nice that he was opening up a little.

"You should hear the legends surrounding him too, sir," The brute sounded excited, "As his title suggests sir Ornstein is a slayer of dragons, not just any winged-pest but ancient stone dragons."

I cocked my head in confusion. At this point I was staring to get a little annoyed about being confused at just about everything.  
Yes, I know _confusion will be my epitaph,_ but again you have to bear with me.

"These were the inhabitants of this world before we lords and pygmies."

"Only in parts of this world, pursuer. There was the great kingdom of Boletaria, long before even the ancient dragons."

Lucatiel harrumphed, "A man like you believes in fairy-tales?"

Ornstein stopped and turned towards the blonde undead, "I met a man who wore the armour of the old king Doran, he even held the Demonbrandt along with it's twin Soulbrandt. He was just a traveller, but the time we spent in each other's company I was convinced."

Lucatiel snorted, "Anyone with money could have a blacksmith create something from a fairy-tale. You can't really believe that the soul nexus is real, or that there is a great old one slumbering beneath the earth?"

I cleared my throat and placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, "There's a great old one standing next to you, honey. I'm also pretty sure they say that every legend or fairy-tale, in this case, has a grain of truth to it."  
I wasn't really sure what a great old one was, but I'm old and I'm great, therefore I am one. See, flawless logic, can't argue.

Lucatiel slapped my hand away, "All you are is a pain."

That was me told, but I was still inclined to believe Ornstein.

Vixen didn't wait for me to respond to the undead knight and continued to gush about the achievements of the dragon slayer.

"I wasn't the only one on the battlefield you know," A slight smile tugged at his lips, "The giant in our company and my friend, Hawk-eye Gough could bring down those dragons with one arrow loosed from his great bow. Then there were Gwyn's silver knights..."  
Ornstein trailed off.

Vixen stopped and then asked, "What about the knight Artorias? He is mentioned in the legends, but not much."

Sad eyes fell upon all three of us, "He was a brave man, a fool, but brave. That's all I'm going to say."

Another fool went to fight the dark.  
How do you think that went?  
Poorly.

Lucatiel harrumphed again, "Next you'll be telling me that you believe in Zullie and Alva."

Now that was a story I enjoyed, but I can't help now think _She's a witch of trouble in electric blue. In her own mad mind, she's in love with you._  
Never really understood cream, could never really get away with Clapton. My little brother loved them, but during that period of the late sixties I was fawning over Marc Bolan and Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Anyway, we stopped with tale telling and pushed on through the caverns. They went from being bone dry to damp in an instance, and the stench of decay grew stronger.  
It was getting that bad, I was starting to heavily wretch.

Lucatiel thought I was overreacting, she was proven very much wrong when we exited the cave. The woman quickly threw her hand over her mouth and nose, "That's disgusting."

"Stop your whining, you're just overreacting," I smiled at her.

In the long run it wasn't the worst thing I've had the misfortune to smell. We, unlike you humans, haven't banned the use of gas based weaponry. Our scientists added a chemical to the gas that induces the gag reflex, this usually causes the enemy to tear off their respirators. It's nasty stuff, it stinks and it's effective.

"I'm sorry," She grumbled, "You were right."

You might think that I would follow up by saying something stupid, but I held my tongue.  
You see, I was learning.

"I'll definitely be using that bath again. Going to have a good long soak, to the point I forget I'm in this shithole," I exclaimed to the group.

Ornstein stayed silent, as did Vixen, but Lucatiel shot me dirty look.

"I want that bath too. I'll be taking it first, so you don't hoard it."  
I believe this is what the youth of today refer to as 'calling dibs', or some such nonsense but as always I can go one further.

"Honey, I am an Emperor. I do as I please, but by all means you're willing to join me when I bathe. I promise not to peek."

And there we go with the stupid statement. It didn't take that long for me to relapse.  
The woman took a step towards me and threw a punch; a punch that landed right on my nose. Not hard enough to break it, but it still hurt.  
Do you see now why I hold the record for starting wars, or at least having wars declared against me.

Ornstein craned his neck to look at me, stepping quickly to the side letting Lucatiel past.  
"Alongside continuing you training with the spear, perhaps we should train you to think before speaking," He smugly grinned.

I would say my pride was wounded, but don't have no pride.

Take this as a lesson on the folly of, what shall we call it? Aggressive flirting, yeah that'll do. The master in that art is Vixen's sister, and let me tell you that woman has no shame. Vexa will go to any length.  
Vix thinks it's my fault for Vexa being that way. Nope! That's all on her.  
On my wedding day, not five minutes before the ceremony she was trying to convince me to jilt and run away with her.  
But more on Vexa when we finally get to her, in relation to this story.

We eventually entered harvest valley and ran into another person. A woman in quite possibly the skimpiest outfit I had seen up until that point. How her breasts were staying within the top is beyond me.  
This was Chloanne and she dealt in rocks, well ore. I couldn't care less about what she had to sell and continued past her without saying a word.

The ground was dry, sand like and blanketed in a thick smog of noxious chemicals. A blight had spread through this land, seeping through the earth, but I can safely say Middlesbrough is still worse.

It seemed like the entire continent had been converted into mines, everywhere you turned there we mine entrances or hidden beneath the murk subsided mine shafts.  
Dangerous, so a steady footing was needed.

This place was a little like the mining complexes of Andron in Erebay, but all this would have been dwarfed by the factories at Pochaiya.

As the smog grew thicker shapes appeared, great bipedal beasts with riders, which were easy enough to get around.  
"Can your eyes not see through this, sir?" Vixen asked waving a hand in front of his face, in a vain attempt remove the fog.

"No Vixen, only in the dark," I sucked air through my teeth, then exhaled, "Wish I could."

The both of us were stopped by a feminine scream.  
Lucatiel?  
I hadn't thought about her since she'd punched me.  
She cried for help again, to which Vixen snapped his head this way and that.  
Lucatiel cried a third time.

"About thirty-two metres, north-west direction. I might not be able to see in this, but I can hear, damn it!"  
I reached her first finding her sunk, hip deep, into the ground.

Another mineshaft had subsided and with Lucatiel on top.

She was struggling desperately, hyperventilating.  
I took her under the arms, pulled and got her free, just as Vixen and Ornstein appeared.

"Watch yourself, grounds bad. Go back to the path we were on, try and mark where the ground gives way. Be careful."  
The two knights nodded and backed off.

I kept my hands tight to her body, as she seemed a little unsteady.

"It's alright Lucatiel, I've got you. Is anything hurt?"

The blonde undead nodded and pointed to her leg.  
"I think it's broken. Snapped as I fell."

And it looked like she was all out of estus, which meant we would need to find a bonfire in this mist.

I left her leaning against a wall and turned, then crouched.

"What are you doing?" She asked, voice a little shaky.

"What does it look like? You're not walking on the leg, it won't do you no good undead or not. Thus, I am offering to carry you until we can get that flask of yours refilled," I motioned for her to get on.

I then remembered I had a spear on my back, so took that off then returned to the prior position.

The blonde undead huffed and painfully shuffled forward.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and with my arms supporting her legs I lifted her with relative ease.  
Lucatiel wasn't really that heavy anyway, even with all her equipment.

"I thought someone like you would be more careful. Vixen told us how bad this place was," I felt as though I was chiding a small child, "We wouldn't want to lose you."

The blonde sighed, "I see what you're doing, don't bother. I don't need you to tell me off like some little girl, nor do I want your sympathy."

She went silent for a few moments, then sniffed.  
"Thank you anyway, I can only shiver at the though of being swallowed whole by the ground."

I smirked, "I think your big bum was stopping that, doubt it could have swallowed something so large."

Lucatiel exhaled sharply, "You have to be horrible, don't you? Why can't you just keep your mouth shut?"

A light chuckled rolled into hearty laughter, then I gave my answer through the tears.  
"Because honey, your reaction amuses me to no end and besides you have a nice backside. You should be proud of it."

She smacked the back of my head, "Be serious and stop your stupid flirting."

"Yes dear."

Another smack, "You're insufferable. Why anyone would want you as an emperor or a god for that matter is...is."  
She stopped in frustration.

"I'm no-one's god and I already told you, I murdered the prior king of Erebay and crowned myself emperor. They didn't have a say, and they haven't complained yet. Now duck down a little, we're going underground."  
I lowered my stance and felt Lucatiel do the same, then entered.

The smog was even thicker underground, which I suppose isn't wholly unexpected.  
A blurred outline of a heavyset individual appeared before me.  
We were slightly buggered is it was an enemy.

I edged closer, gripping the spear tighter and stopped, it was then I realised who it was before us.  
"Gavlan?"

The heavyset silhouette threw up it's arms, replying with, "Friend."

"What are you doing here?"

"Gavlan wheel, Gavlan deal. Gavlan helps friend find way," He replied with broken speech.  
The Gyrm clapped me on the arm and pointed through the smog.  
I wonder how much he gleaned Vixen for? Probably 'many souls' as the Gyrm would put it.  
"This way, this way,"  
Large hands gestured towards a tunnel.

I followed him carefully, feeling even less safe underground.

"How're you holding up, Luca?"

"I can't feel my leg and my head feels very heavy," She replied faintly.

"Alright honey, you'll be alright once we're out of this smog. Just hold on a little longer, OK."

Gavlan led us through more winding tunnels, which seemed as if they were going to take us further into the bowels of the earth.

Even though my lungs work slightly different to human lungs, they were still feeling the strain of the poisoned air. I truly felt for the blonde, her chest must have been aflame.

"Not far, fresh air soon," The heavyset man called back to us.  
He was right of course, light flittered in through the thick clouds.

There was a slight shelf acting as a step and I was going to have fun getting up it with Lucatiel on my back.

Suddenly the weight lifted from my shoulders, then I suddenly felt weightless as two great hands grabbed me from above and pulled me up.

Fresh air flooded my lungs and it was sweet. Both myself and Lucatiel were drawing in deep breaths, greedily trying to take it all for ourselves.

The Gyrm thrust his tankard in my face, "Here, drink. Is good for you."  
I didn't question and brought to liquid to my lips. It was again alcohol, but not the strong stuff he had earlier.  
It was a little sweet, with a rich nutty undertone. Definitely a brown ale and it was beautiful, not that it would ever beat Newcastle brown, now that's a fighting ale (as in I get drunk on the stuff and want to fight. I'm not proud of it).

I looked to the brute and nodded my thanks, the same then to Ornstein.

"I think we all need a Gyrm with alcohol to guide us places, or to the closest pub. I'm not fussy. Actually Gavlan, if you do know of any taverns still open in this damned land, I'd be happy to know."

Gavlan chuckled, "No tavern, brew own."

That was better than nothing.

"Alright then, where's the nearest bonfire? Gimpy over there has ran out of estus," I asked the group.

"In that windmill, sir. One thing though...it's guarded by a demon, sir."

"What? The daemon, the one we're after?"

Vixen shook his head, "Different one, sir."

"Well with four of us unhurt I don't think we'll have a problem. We're good enough to take on a daemon, right?" I smiled.

Gavlan then spoke up, "Gavlan wheel, Gavlan deal. Gavlan no fight."

Oh, well that was disappointing.

"Gavlan leave gift for friend," The heavyset man continued and reached behind him into a sack. He pulled out a wooden canteen.  
"You drink, you like, you keep. No charge."

I took the canteen, unscrewed the cap and took a few sniffs. It was filled with ale, beautiful ale.  
The Gyrm then slunk off into the smog and out of sight.

I fixed the canteen to my hip. It was a good sturdy thing and served me well for many years, I was unfortunately robbed of it's use by a rouge musket ball. Apparently wood and wax aren't bullet proof, who knew!

"Would you like me to take lady Lucatiel, sir?"

I shook my head, "If we're going up against a demon, I want you and Ornstein to face it. You two are the heavy hitters. I'll get her somewhere safe and join you."

"Sir!" Vixen nodded.

"Perhaps you're not so stupid, creature."

I ignored the dragon slayer's remark and went to Lucatiel, "Are you ready to move on or would you like a few more minutes?"

"I'm alright to go now," She replied weakly. That smog must have done a number on her, cos' you don't get that way from just a broken leg.  
Vixen helped her up, then once again she was in my grasp.

Just before the entrance of the windmill stood a shattered statue on a plinth, Ornstein stopped and kneeled.

"Your friend?"

"Yes creature, this was an alter to him, people would bring gifts and sacrifices. I didn't know this one was here."

I've never been keen on the whole sacrificing something in the name of a god, they almost always want more and more after that initial offering. I, on the other hand, am quite satisfied with a pint of fosters and a pack of fags, but I wouldn't ask you to waste money on me.

"The firstborn son of Gwyn, I know he's out there somewhere," He said to the crumbled statue, "I will see you again, friend."

The dragon slayer closed his visor and readied his spear, "Let's get this thing killed."

The base of the windmill was thick with hollows carrying oversized hammers and pots filled with toxic sludge.  
I would love to have known what these people were doing to produce such by-products, no fucking wonder why the area was so disgusting.

"You better not drop me von Bayer, I don't want to end up in there."  
Did she really think I would? Honestly that woman.

"I hauled your arse all the way though that smog-field without dropping you, don't tempt me," I half joked, wobbling slightly next to one one the pots.

A little further on there were these mushroom things, which sprays a defensive mist. The two 'lords' put them down quickly and freed up the area before the daemon's chamber.

Vixen looked back at me, then followed the dragon slayer to face the enemy.

"Alright, I'll put you down here. Your legs not hurting too bad is it?" I asked, setting her down gently.

"It's throbbing now, wish it could have stayed numb a little longer," The blonde grit her teeth.

"Well, maybe this will help," I smiled, brushing aside her fringe and kissed her forehead lightly. Her cheeks dyed in crimson, mouth open but unable to form a sentence.  
"I'll be back shortly."  
I winked and bolted towards the daemon's chamber.

One look at the creature and I was repulsed. This thing was a slug-like monstrosity, bloated and corpulent.

Now, I believe I have the right to say this.  
You may join in if you want.  
Ahem...

 _Who ate all the pies!  
_ _Who ate all the pies!  
_ _That fat bastard!  
_ _That fat bastard!  
_ _He ate all the pies!_

Just replace the word pie with human/undead and the picture becomes clearer.

The daemon was thrashing about spastically trying to get it's fat body around to face Vixen, the monster stopped then rolled it's immense bulk over.  
Vixen back stepped, narrowly avoiding the beast.

Ornstein managed to get a good jab into the belly and the thing howled.

I found myself standing before one of the beast's eyes, weak, weepy and yellow with jaundice. A quick thrust blinded it and this covetous daemon recoiled.  
The dragon slayer followed suite, going for the other eye and penetrating much deeper.  
The covetous daemon's movement became sluggish, pun not intended.

Vixen then clambered up the creatures side and gripping his great sword with both hands, stabbed down into the brain.  
It continued to thrash for a few moments more, then fell motionless.

"Good job, boys."

Vixen raised his visor smirking and withdrew the sword.

"Hold on to this for me, Vixen," I threw my spear to him, "I'll be back momentarily."

I jogged back to where I had left the blonde undead.  
She greeted me with the familiar scowl.  
Oh how could I get a different expression on that slightly decayed face of hers?  
Picking her up bridal style, of course.

Resigned to her fate, Lucatiel didn't complain...until we walked into the beast's chamber.

Ornstein burst into laughter.

"Sir Ornstein, I don't see what you find so amusing. I am merely carrying our dear, darling Lucatiel to the bonfire. Isn't that right, dear?"

"I'm laughing at the fact that she's going to kill you."

Lucatiel cleared her throat, "He's right von Bayer, I am going to kill you."

"Oh, please be gentle with me."

Ornstein ran his hand over his face, "You're flirting with a corpse, you realise how very wrong that is."

"I have my reasons dragon slayer and anyway, Lucatiel's a cute corpse."

She drove her elbow into my ribs and just to clarify I'm not a fucking necrophiliac, Vixen was the one who figured out what I was actually doing.  
The brute pulled me to one side after I had placed the blonde undead by the bonfire.

"You tried distracting her from the pain by flirting with her."

"I thought it was worth a try, I was doing it anyway. If Lucatiel's focused on me playing the prat, she ain't focusing on her leg. That was nasty back there, Vixen. I was on the verge of panicking, not that I could show her," I admitted.

"It's a good thing myself and Ornstein ran into the Gyrm when we did."

That reminded me, "How much did he charge you?"

The brute shook his head, "Nothing. When I told him you were aiding lady Lucatiel he set off to help you. I think he does genuinely see you as a friend. Odd fellows the Gyrm, sir. I think you would fit in will with them considering how much you say you drink."

I removed the canteen from my belt, "Well in that case, I suppose I should drink to his honour then."

The ale had taken on a subtle waxy flavour from the waterproofing, I'm pretty sure it improved the overall taste.

"Here you go my friend, you have a drink too," I held the canteen up towards the brute.

He took it and thanked me.  
Bringing the canteen to his lips, Vixen took a quick swig and pulled a face.  
"That's unique. How do you drink this stuff, sir?" He asked, handing back the canteen.

"Vixen, that's a very tame beer? There are some you yourself wouldn't be able to take a single drop of."  
Would you be surprised to learn that Vix only drinks larger...No? No, didn't think so.

"von Bayer! Arse. Here. Now," Lucatiel yelled.

I place a hand behind my ear, as if I had heard something in the distance.  
"Hark, is that the song of a sweet nightingale I do hear?"

"Now!" She yelled louder.

"Vixen, my dear friend, if I die know that I have truly cherished the time I have spent with you."  
I sniffed and wiped away a none-existent tear.

"Just go see the lady, sir," Vixen's responded bluntly.

Maybe I was overdoing the whole prat thing.

On the way back to the bonfire I passed Ornstein, who gave me one look and loosed a bark-like laugh.

Lucatiel was sat cross-legged gazing into the flames.

"Alright I'm here. If you're going to do this though, please keep your attacks above the belt. I don't wish to become a eunuch."

"Sit down and shut up," She shimmied round to face me, "Don't say anything, I mean it."  
I did as such and we sat facing each other in an awkward silence.  
"Thank you," She mumbled, fidgeting with the ruffles of her sleeve, "I don't think that kiss was necessary though."

"Yes, that was me going a little too far. I'm sorry."

Then I made a peace offering, handing her the canteen and she pulled a face similar to Vixen.  
She tried to find the right words to describe, in her opinion, the taste of the ale. All of which were very much wrong.  
That just meant more for me

"I'm also looking for someone," She confessed, "My brother, Aslatiel. The greatest swordsman in all of Mirrah, he came here to find a cure after he contracted the curse. I really came to find him and the cure too."

"We'll find them both, Lucatiel. Along with Vixen's sister and Ornstein's friend. I swear that as emperor of the Erebayan people," I bowed my head.

"You do have a little honour then."

"Well, as a god I should probably do a good deed every now and again."

The blonde undead frowned, "You keep calling yourself a god, but I have a hard time believing it."

That's normally the case, most people take a look at me and think glam rocker in a Hugo Boss uniform, except it's not Boss, our uniforms are a damn side more fabulous.

"You see that piece of pottery behind you, give it to me."

Lucatiel shot me a look of confusion, but did it anyway.

I took the piece of broken pot in my hand and concentrated, the pot was soon covered in the same inky-shadows that is my actual body.  
It was only a moment before the whole thing was gone, no more than atoms.

"Ready to see the main party trick?"

I snapped my fingers and laid my palm out flat.  
Floating just above my palm was a small spiral galaxy.  
I didn't need to snap my fingers, it just adds to the whole effect. It's looks flashy.

"Is that real?" The blonde asked, shock painting her face.

She went to tap it with her finger, but I stopped her.

"Put your finger in there and you'll lose it."

Lucatiel was staring at the spinning mass of stars, planets and other space things floating in the palm of my hand. It left quite a beautiful reflection in her blue eyes.  
"What is it?"

I spent the next ten minutes trying to explain the whole concept of galaxies and the wider universe to someone who didn't even know there were other planets.

"So, we live in something like that. Does that mean there are people like us in that on your hand?"

I shrugged and crushed the galaxy in my hand, absorbing the energy. A billion trillion star detonating all at once, it stung a little.  
Don't start hypernovas in your hands kids.

"If there was Zoey's going to be pissed that I've just added to her work load."

Lucatiel cocked her head.

"The empress, my co-ruler and the goddess of death. I hate her guts, she hates mine too so we're even in that regard. This place on a whole would anger her, once you die you are meant to say dead. No offence, but it's just not right."

"So...she's your wife?"

The thought of Zoey becoming my wife at that part of my life repulsed me, and Zozo if you're reading this yourself, you know you'd say the same thing about me. Don't get all pissy.  
To demonstrate this to Lucatiel I gestured wildly, crossing my arms whilst repeating no again and again and again.  
The only thing I could think of being worse was wanting to marry the second Reyes sister, Sasha. That still makes me feel physically ill, I feel for the poor bastard who did.  
He were an Angel.  
They had a child who you might know, Lucifer. Both of them are dead now though, not Sasha though...damn it.

Damn bloody Reyes sisters. Married the eldest, the youngest is one of my best friends and she's just cute. The middle four I utterly despise.

Vixen appeared at the door and cleared his throat, "Sir, lady Lucatiel. Myself and sir Ornstein think it's best we move on now, before it gets dark."  
He then swivelled round and walked away.

Lucatiel stood up first, extending her hand and helped me up.  
Her face was very close to mine, a little too close maybe.

"If you find that cure for me and stop being a prick, I think I might let you kiss me again."

Ooh! Very forward.  
But I couldn't give up being a prick.  
"I'm sorry sweetie," I rested my hand on her cheek, "That was a one off kiss. Anyway, Shanalotte's prettier and more my type."

Thunk!

Lucatiel rammed her fist into my stomach, doubling me over.

The woman hit like a cannon and was just as volatile, especially when I ran my mouth.

I was still seeing stars when she lifted my chin, "You're wrong, von Bayer. I may like the herald, but there is no way she's prettier. Have you got that?"

I managed a meek nod and a 'yes ma'am'.

The blonde then completely caught me off guard by pulling me into a deep kiss.  
"You can have it back, I never wanted it in the first place."  
Lucatiel let go of my chin and walked away with such a cocksure swagger it was obvious she had won.

I took a knee and held my stomach.

A shadow loomed over me.

"Sir! Come on, up you get," Vixen said, "I hope all your problems with the lady are resolved."

"I don't know what happened, all I do know is she outplayed me. I need time alone to scheme, Vixen. She will not have the last laugh. Leave me, I must plan."

The brute grabbed my arm and dragged me from the bonfire, "No sir, we have a demon to kill. You can _kiss_ and make up properly when we get back to Majula."

"Don't say kiss, Vixen," I grumbled, "I'll kill her."

"You're a little late in the regard, sir. You could always ask the cartographer to borrow a room in the manor and resolve your differences in private."  
It didn't register with me until we reached the other two that Vixen had just suggested we hate fuck.  
I wasn't going to win against him either.

There wasn't anything I could really do or say though, just stew in the pathetic state of anger I was in.

I took said anger out on a few scantly clad whores lobbing fireballs, allowing my _Schara_ to drink for the first time in a month.  
It being basically a khopesh worked perfectly against the thin fabric of their clothing.

The last one we came across, saw the blade completely drenched in the blood of her sisters, tried to run. She didn't get far.  
I didn't bother with my sword for this one, instead relying on my fists to beat her admittedly pretty face into a mushy pulp.

Do you perhaps think I was overreacting?

I only stopped when Ornstein pulled me off the now dead wytch.

"The sorceress isn't getting back up," The dragon slayer restrained me, "I think you need a moment to calm and compose yourself."

This is normally the point when I go to the pub and don't come back for a few days, but there weren't no pubs and I only had a finite amount of booze on me.

"Fine," I tore myself from his grip, emphasising my hyperbolic rage by striking the wall, then threw my dummy and rattle out the pram for good measure.

I cracked that wall, didn't do my hand much good either but I was that pumped up whatever chemicals my body produces I didn't notice, not that I would have my bodies rapid healing and all.

I stood on the edge of tower lined by a rotting wooden frame, licking away the blood and grey matter of the desert sorceress from my hands.  
It wouldn't be the last time I tried human, had to eat a sergeant in Russia after citadel failed but the less I talk about Russia the better. I still get nightmares.

A shuffling to the right caught my attention, an ugly looking fellow was trying his best to keep his large-ish frame hidden.  
He was a ladder-smith and on the run.  
For what? Fuck knows.  
He had the same accent as Shanalotte, and if you wish for my humble description of it, I would say bogtrotting taig.

The bastard tried to make me buy a ladder from him, I saw straight through the scam. He then tried to sell information to me, again that didn't work.  
I responded my placing a knife to his throat and he gave up.

"They say there's this monster lady at the top o' this tower. She bathes in poison and it does wonders for her skin, or so I'm told."

I removed the knife and uttered a 'now fuck off' to the ladder-smith.  
The twat skulked off mumbling curses under his breath.

Something so petty shouldn't have been eating at me, but I was 'young' and didn't know no better. I should have just let it go. Oh, the folly of youth.

My solution was to tear more of that smoking leaf from the clump Ornstein gave me and stated to smoke.  
Not even that was helping, thus I stormed back to the others.

They were arguing amongst themselves about which one of them had _done it.  
_  
"Done what?" I asked and had my gaze directed to the opining in the wall. That opening lead to the shaft on which the blades of the windmill sat. The whole thing was ablaze and slowing down.

"I've not been gone ten minutes! You know what, I don't give a flying toss. Let's just go kill this monster woman at the top."

"Oh! So you know about Mytha, sir," A slight blush formed on Vixen's cheeks, "Hopefully she will just let us through. I don't think we should have to kill her. In fact sir, please don't kill her."

"You know the woman, Vixen?"

"Well...em. That's...er," He stopped and to a breath, "Yes sir, I knew queen Mytha very well."

He don't stumble over his words now, his usual response to me asking whether or not he's shagged a lass is 'Boss. Get bent.'  
"Queen Mytha? Oh ho ho, dear Vixen. Naughty boy," My mood lightened instantly.

The respect for the man also went up, punching above his weight and hitting the target. I mean I've known my fair share of queens too and their husbands.  
Wu Zetian, what a lady!

"Let's just go, sir."

I smiled and followed his lead.

The pursuer brought us to Mytha's chamber and in we entered.

What I wasn't expecting was for Mytha to be a decapitated snake lady.

In a way she reminds me of Medusa. Both incredibly beautiful women turned to monsters because of ego or Hera in Meds case. Just thinking about the gorgon brings a tear to my eye, I was very fond of her. I was the only person to meet her she couldn't turn to stone and well...a relationship formed.

Did I love her?  
No, but I could have.

And it deeply hurt me when Perseus murdered her, not just due to her death but because it was Athena who ordered the assassination.

Zeus might be her father, but I'm her dad. He didn't want her, abandoned her on the earth where I found her and raised her to be an outstanding goddess. I don't know why she ordered it.

Regardless, she's still _my_ little girl, no matter what she may have ordered.

Perseus on the other hand was left flayed and nailed to an inverted crucifix (A standard Erebayan execution.)

Apparently an entire city was destroyed because of that, well that's what you get for hurting the people I care for.

That was more of a message to Zeus than Nana...when she was a toddler and just learning to speak, she couldn't pronounce her name. It was adorable and I haven't called her anything else, much to goddess of wisdom's chagrin. You call her Nana, she pouts and stamps her foot.

Sorry, I really must find a way to stop getting sidetracked.  
Nah, that'll never happen.

Now, Mytha was holding her decapitated head in one arm and in the other was a spear, so she had range on her side. Well, that was if we pissed her off.  
There wasn't as much poison in the room, less than I had expected after what the ladder-smith had said.  
A mere pool around the room was it. If things kicked off I would be for the best to keep her in the centre.

"Queen Mytha, we wish to pass through to the Iron keep," Vixen bowed, "We do not wish to harm you, only to get through there."

"You dare show your face to me again!" The head hissed.

How does that work? No vocal cords.

"Queen Mytha, it was never my intent to anger you. You were upset and I thought it my duty to comfort you."

The head hissed again, "You left me like he did and now you're back. Is she the one you went with over me?"  
She jabbed her spear in Lucatiel's direction, then turned her attention to me, forgetting Vixen.

"You pretty pale man, do you think I'm pretty?" The snake lady flutter her eyelashes at me.

Yes-if you're into eight foot tall snake ladies with detachable heads.  
Well, I was into Medusa so...I suppose so? I'm not sure and I'm not sure I want to know.

"You're stunning, my queen," I bowed as well, "A goddess bound in mortal flesh."

I thought the appeasement method would work and I wouldn't have to look at her neck stump for much longer.

Mytha's sharp eyes widened and she closed the gap between us, then place her head back onto the stump with a sickly popping noise.  
"You really think so!" She thrust her face at mine, "Say something else, please."

"Well my queen, if you would let my fellow travellers through I would gladly stay and you need never see the pursuer knight again. I will be the only person you shall see, I shall devote myself to you."  
That was sickening, but the bitch weren't that bright and bought it.

"Yes, yes!" She chirped and turned to Vixen, "If you ever dare to show your face again I'll...Just go!"

With her back turned I mouthed 'ten minutes' to the dragon slayer and watched to move on. Mytha turned back to me and started giggling like some demented school girl.

And I'm going to leave that there and pick up ten minutes after.

I strolled through the back door of Mytha's chamber and through several winding corridors, and found the others waiting at a lift, similar to the one in the Bastille.

Both Lucatiel and Vixen looked shocked.

"Erm...sir?" He pointed.

It was like he'd never seen someone covered from head to toe in blood.  
I ignored the pursuer and Mirrah knight, musing, "I wonder if Gavlan is in the business of buying and selling snake skin. Might get something nice made from it, snake skin boots maybe."


	7. A King and His Castle

**Hello, once again to this mess I call writing.  
You all know the drill, I don't own the rights DS or any references I may have used.  
** **Do enjoy the mess and if you be so kind leave any thoughts or feedback, it would help. I will get around to editing eventually.**

* * *

The four of us were silent on the ride up and I was starting to question things.

Like why was there a lift at the top of the windmill?

Where was it taking us?

Why was there a lift at the _top_ of the windmill!?

There wasn't anything above the windmill when we entered, so why was there bloody lift?

I was taken from my thoughts when Lucatiel glance over and pulled a face.

"What?"

"Can you go over to the other side please. You stink." She pinched her nose.

Blood will do that and well, Mytha was a big lass and had lots of it.

Of course I did the exact opposite and got closer to her.

"It's not like you humans don't smell either and my nose is more sensitive than yours is, how'd you think I feel?"

The blonde grunted and pushed me away.

"If I smell that bad then I think it's only fair I get to use the bathhouse first, for as _long_ as it takes to get clean. Once we get back to Majula that is."

She didn't reply, shaking her head only.

The lift came to a halt and the first thing I noticed was the heat, the air was dry and the faint hint of sulphur was present.

My eyes were opened as soon as we entered the area.

"Wha...how...that doesn't...no, no. That doesn't make sense...no. How?"

The other three turned to look at me.

"What's the matter, sir?"

"Seriously! Are none of you questioning the fact that this shouldn't be here. This isn't physically possible."

"Just don't don't think about, sir."

"Oh. That will be very easy for you, von Bayer!" Lucatiel smirked.

Things don't work like that! Reality isn't meant to break like that!

Fucking Drangleic or Venn.

Johnny needed his bottle and he needed it quickly. Beautiful brown ale took my mind from the complete mess that was unfolding before me.

Now, shall we discuss the Iron keep and the Alonne knights or Samurai knights as I have retroactively named them.

Imagine if you would kendo equipment, specifically the armour and make that completely out of iron, from head to toe. Then give the buggers katanas and that's still an ill-fitting description. I'll get onto to my dislike of katanas in a little while.

These Alone knights were intimidating fellows and as formidable as Vixen had said. A few undead were ahead of us, none of them got to the main keep.

Blacksteel katanas split the unarmoured undead into pieces. One managed to dodge the initial strike, but was grabbed and headbutted by the Alonne knight. That put the undead down.

I watched one put up a good fight, matching the Alonne knight blow for blow. I was rooting for the bastard until the Alonne knight disarmed him and take off his jaw in a matter of moments.

The knight finished him off, then smartly returned to his post.

"I think it best that myself and Ornstein do most of the fighting, sir."

"I agree."

The only armour I had was around my head and neck, and a katana would go through the padded gambeson. Hell, even a blunted teaspoon would go through the gambeson.

Maughlin probably just lifted it from some dead bugger and made a few adjustments to it.

Substandard shyster.

I'd maybe give him one last chance to provide me with something good, then get very stabby with him.

I was a little surprised that the Alonne knights weren't using any other weapons. Look, when I say that I dislike the katana I don't mean they're bad swords, I just don't think they're practical.

It's like the argument between which is better, the katana or the broadsword. They are two separate weapons, yes both are swords but have different purposes.

The katana is a primarily a slashing weapon which is completely ineffective against armour and I find the katana to be too long to be a comfortable thrusting sword.

That and I find the sword to be overly hyped up, like it's some super sword that's better than any other. Though you can't deny that they're beautifully crafted (out of inferior steel).

I'm just not a big longsword fan, only having really used short swords like our own schara or the sword bayonets we carry, alongside two other bayonets. (Is three bayonets too much?)

I understand why the Alonne knights used them though, it's a status symbol much in the way that Japanese Samurai class used them, to use a contemporary analogy.

"In my opinion I would say the best tactic would be to lure them out one at a time. Pick them off and thin them out," The dragon slayer commented.

Seemed like a realistic enough a tactic and it made sense, but how was we were to draw the out one at a time.

"Throw something, there's only one guard over there at the moment."

Vixen picked up a pebbled by his feet and lobbed it, catching the lone Alonne knight on the visor. The lithe knight's hands dropped his sword and started walking over.  
After walking past us, Vixen grabbed the knight and snapped his neck.  
A second appeared where the first had been standing, looked around for a few seconds and came over as well. He received the same treatment as the first.

"That's two. Any more at the entrance?"

I shook my head, "None that I can see and I can't smell nothing either, too much sulphur and iron in the air."

My nose was blocked something fierce, but my ears and eyes were still working. Still like being blind in one eye though.

With no more Alonne knights in view, Ornstein moved up with his spear at the ready. I took a moment to look at the keep, before moving.

It was your standard affair for a keep, with the exception of parts of it being ironclad. To the left of the keep was a massive bull effigy, and I mean massive. The amount of work that would have go into it was beyond anything I could think of.

This land was far beyond Drangleic and I was happy that it wasn't magic they were using to further themselves, but science and technology.

It was impressive, however there was something that impressed me more inside the keep and I'll get to that shortly.

The keep was built in a good place; it was surrounded all sides on high walls of natural rock. Now, I assume that this place must have been once a dormant volcano. If they didn't know it was a volcano, I can't really fault them. The Iron king probably just thought it was a mountain. Unfortunately that volcano went boom, or he was really unlucky and this was just a mountain...I don't know. I never found out.

It was starting to become uncomfortably warm, but you get that with molten lava for a moat.

Erebay was never really a warm place, so I wasn't really good with heat.

The blonde undead didn't seem phased, she wasn't even sweating.  
"I spent some time in Jugo. This is nothing in comparison," She smirked.

I repeated what she said in a somewhat whiny voice, best trying to mimic her.

"You aren't wearing full armour," The dragon slayer complained, "You can bitch after you start wearing an oven."

Yeah, I wasn't going to do that. I've spent enough time in tanks during summer to know what the inside of an oven's like, but wearing one...nah.

Vixen shushed us and held out his hand, three finger stretched, "One facing that door, one at the bottom of a staircase and one at the top. Ornstein behind that pillar, you two stay back."

I nodded and moved back towards the bridge.

Vixen again picked up a lump of rubble and lobbed it towards the guards. It clattered noisily in the following room prompting the first of the Alonne knights to poke out his head; it was taken with one swing of Vixen's great sword. The armour on the back of the neck being weaker than rest.

The second was quicker and got through the door with his head still on his shoulders. The knight drew it's sword and in the same stroke went for Vixen.

Both swords wrung out as they collided.

The brute managed to catch the knight in such a way that he was staggered and Ornstein finished the bugger off.

The knight spat blood through his visor and gurgled his last.

Through the door the third shouted.

"He's asking if they are OK," Vixen said in a hushed tone, "And now he's coming over."

The third like the first went down without his head, which rolled free of the helm. He was an older man with a few thin scars, and up until a moment before had been very much alive.

"They're not hollow?"

The brute shook his head, "No sir. I told you they were fanatic and wouldn't leave, they will defend their lord until the last."

"Or," Ornstein spoke up, "They're stopping the demon from getting out and stupid adventurers from getting in. Demons aren't creatures to be messed with."

"Izalith?"

"Yes pursuer. The birthplace of demons and a little like this. Consumed by fire and _chaos,_ that damned witch and her obsession with the flame. And her daughters...all monsters, Quelaag especially," Ornstein spat the name, "She'd have liked you creature. Always did have a bad taste in men."

Me thinks the man had a failed fling with the lady and as to his other statement...he he he, I'll leave that for later on. We haven't gotten to Lordran yet, can't spoil that...he he.

Ornstein crouched down and picked up the emptied helmet, "Demon's gave our army a good fight, turning silver knights to black. The filthy things should all have been put to the sword, instead they were allowed to live."

He slipped the helm over his spear's tip and held it in front of the door.

"What are yo-"

The helm was carried off by something into the lava.

"Archer with a great-bow, get your shield ready pursuer."

I had forgotten about that shield, he used it so little. I had noticed that in Drangleic that shields weren't really used in favour of pole-arms, two handed weapons and some stupid buggers duel wielding.

Don't duel wield, it ain't clever. It might look cool, but you'll end up dead quicker.

When I came back from my thoughts Vixen and Ornstein had already moved through the door. I held back, trusting in the two 'lords'.

Lucatiel however was at the door peering in.

There were three heavy clangs and then silence.

"The archer's dead," Ornstein called.

Myself and the blonde entered the room; It was largish with an off centre staircase leading to a higher level and had a corridor leading right.

At the base of the stairs there was a bulls head spewing fire, not something you see everyday. Something glinted within the flames.

I went _naked_ for a moment and reached into the fire; it was only a key and not really worth the bleed of energy, but I got a good reaction out of Lucatiel who still hadn't seen what I really looked like.

I let the key cool off before returning my body.

The four of us then made the decision to split, one party to go up and one to go along the corridor.

Me and Vixen got the corridor.

There was yet another merchant sat with all his wares. I say merchant, I mean scavenger. Neither me nor Vixen needed what he was flogging and turned back towards the larger room as the corridor was a dead end.

"Two minutes, sir. Just need to catch my breath and have a drink."

I nodded, not that he needed to ask.

"How are you holding up, sir? You're sweating buckets," The brute asked.

"I'm fine, just a little warm. You're the one in the tin can," I leant against the closest wall, "Though I'm not too sure about this working business, Vixen."

The man grinned and took a swig from his water-skin. He swallowed and looked down at me.

"I didn't know royalty knew words such as work, sir."

"Must have picked it up somewhere. I know I'd rather be sat in a public house with an ale in one hand and a lady friend in the other."

The brute laughed, "Well sir, when we break the curse we can go find one. You will be paying for it I assume."

I held up a hand and leant back further, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Vixen. Though there are a few nice places back in Erebay if you'd li-"

Something clicked and the wall started to shift.

A hidden passage; another staircase presented itself.

"Do we go in?"

"If we do, I go first. These Alonne knights can attack from anywhere at anytime."

He was the one wearing the heavy armour.

"The quicker we search here the quicker we get back to the others," I said, a little curious as to where it led.

Vixen moved with caution, checking every corner.

"It's clear as far as I can see, sir. Just a door way, can't see what's inside."

Well if he couldn't see from where we were standing, we'd have to go further and check.

Behind the door was a ballista pointing at a wall; another hidden door made evident by the way the dust had settled on the floor. Behind the ballista was a third.

We opened the first and found it came out at the top of the staircase that Ornstein and Lucatiel had gone up. Several dead Alonne knights were sprawled across the floor.

We had a way out that didn't mean back tracking.

With one way opened we checked the other; one more corridor was before us.

I left Vixen and braved the dark.

There were fortunately no Alonne knights hiding in wait. I'm surprised too, as what I found at the end was definitely worth guarding.

I got a few of the torches going and found it was an armoury. No, more than just an armoury as there weren't your standard weapons.

"What in the name of..." I stopped and picked up one of the strange weapons. At first I thought it was a club as it was little more than an iron head on a wooden shaft. The odd thing was that the iron head was hollow with a hook on one side. It was a hooked tube on a stick.

What good would that do?

If you wanted it to be effective it would need to be a solid lump of iron.

"What are they, sir?" Vixen asked upon entering the room.

"Not sure, a cheap mace," The from the corner of my eye I caught glimpse of a book.

I flicked through the pages not understanding a single word written, there were a few illuminations but nothing that could help me.

Vixen then took over and I went to wander; there could have been more in the other rooms.

More barrels of that explosive powder were stacked in the room adjacent.

On the walls there were belts with twelve or so pots hanging off them, each filled with powder.

In a further room were boxes of thousands upon thousands of lead balls and rounded stones. Just what in Drangleic were these men making?

"Sir!" Vixen called, "I have an idea of what they do, but I'm going to need your help."

The brute had a second book next to the first, don't know how I missed it.

He handed me a firebomb and told me to break it open.

"Pour some of the powder inside the tube and then on top place a stone, whatever that means?"

One of those rounded stones perhaps. I went back for one.

"It then says, once the stone is in the tube to press it into the powder and pour a little powder into the hole on top."

Well what was I going to press it down with? Laying alongside the other hook-tubes were wooden dowels, shaped perfectly to fit inside.

A few good hard presses and the stone was seated nicely. Then I filled the small hole with more powder.

"What now then?"

Vixen skimmed the book some more, "If you wish to make thunder press a heated iron rod or...slow match to the touch hole. What's a slow match?"

Back in the room with the powder barrels were bundles of coiled cord. It was worth a try and I was correct. The cord caught quickly but only smouldered, I suppose that's why it was called a slow match.

I picked up the hook-tube, holding the wooden shaft close to the tube and steadying the rest under my arm.

"Shall we make thunder?" I asked, pointed the thing towards the door and held the match to the hole.

There was a momentary hiss, then Wham!

My ear rang like bells and the room filled with smoke.

The thing jumped with such force it had jarred my arm, had I been holding it correctly?

What in the name of all things unholy was this thing I had just used?

When the smoke cleared we saw what damage the thing had done. The stone had left a considerable dent in the ironclad wall, around two foot to the left of where I had been pointing.  
The stone had shattered, but it was undeniable what it had done.

Yes, dear reader, it was a hakebusse/handgönne/fire lance whatever you want to call it. The kingdom of Venn had created firearms.

What else had these bastards created or what could they have created if it hadn't sunk into the ground?

I would also like to make a slight amendment to an earlier statement saying that firearms hadn't yet been introduced. Finding this, they technically had been.

"Sir?" Vixen looked at me, not knowing how to react.

"I think...I think those might be the future. I had thought about something similar back at Cardinal tower, but I didn't think that, well, it could be possible. I didn't know such things could be."

"Were they planning on using them against the giants or was the Iron king turning his eyes towards Drangleic?"

"Imagine an army with them," I hefted the thing over my shoulder, "Fire these and I'd run away like hellfire was at my heels."

I remember the first time I was in a proper line-battle, we had transitioned into snaphaunces (which is a sort of proto-flintlock, for those of you not familiar with firearm terminology).  
Ten minutes in and I wanted to scream, I had seen bloodshed and had shed my fair share before, but I had never seen killing on that level. Guns changed everything and I would argue that gunpowder and the firearm were the most important invention ever made, after the wheel.

I put the weapon down, "There was another room at the back. Want to see if there's anything else?"

Vixen's lip twitched, "I don't think we should be touching these, sir. Let them be forgotten, like the other technologies of Venn."

"I'm going to have to disagree, Vixen. I want to know and I really find it hard to believe that something like this should be forgotten."

"Sir, we should just walk back through that door. Ornstein and Lucatiel will be waiting for us."

I shook my head, "You can go wait if you want, but I'm going to go search."

The brute sighed, "Alright sir."

I dragged the man through the other rooms of this armoury finding variations of the handgönnes. Some had longer barrels and shorter wooded shafts, whilst other had removed the shaft completely and the barrel had been attached to a crossbow tiller.

Against a separate wall cartouches were stacked along with basic powder horns.

Venn was a damn side further along than the rest of this land.

Had they seen the power of such weaponry or was the Iron king just taken a gamble on them.

The final room was different, filled with books and manuscripts. A singular gilded box sat undisturbed on a table.

Something about the box made me want whatever was with in.

Stuck to the lid was a scroll, which I handed to Vixen.

"To his highness, the king of Venn. We hope you find this thunder lance to your liking," The brute read.

I broke the latches and opened this mystery box.

"We have taken your requests that the lance be easier to hold, aim and loose," He continued and I pulled the thing free.

It was beautiful and at the time; one of of a kind.

So far ahead of anything else.

"We have created a mechanism that holds a piece of slow match, so that your hands are free to hold the lance and depress the lever."

If you want the basic description of what this was, it was an arquebus.

The tube had been extended considerably and fixed to a custom made stock with three hoops of iron and pegs holding it.

The butt was flared and covered in decorations. Ivory, gold, semi-precious jewels etc. etc. and so forth.

It was a nice weight, comfortable in my arms. That meant it was probably too heavy for a human to use without a rest.

I held it in different positions, finding it best held tightly against the shoulder.

The 'trigger' was like that of a crossbow which you squeezed upward and the serpentine moved.

Now this wasn't a snaplock, though I have no doubt that if Venn had lasted they would have created them.

"We have left instructions on the weapons use with a tome our scribes created on art of fire-working, we hope your own armourers can use this to replicate this thunder lance," Vixen finished, pulling the book from the box.

He skimmed through it, finding the page with these so called instructions.

It was very similar to that of the handgönne, just with a little more powder and the lead balls rather than stone.

I had felt a thrill firing that handgönne and wanted to feel that again, so I would claim this 'thunder lance' as my own.

"Will you keep a hold of that book, Vixen. It might be useful," I said, resting the 'thunder lance' over my shoulder.

It clattered against my spear and I had a thought.

What if I took one of those hook-tubes and lashed it to my spear?

I took a moment and had a further thought, what if it broke my spear when firing the hook-tube. Not worth the risk.

If only I could attach a spike or spear tip to the 'thunder lance', wouldn't that be good.

Vixen, in the time that I was 'thinking', closed the book and added it to his food sack.

Under the tome was a leather pouch filled with various tools, no doubt used to take apart the 'thunder lance'. I took that too.

Now all I had to do was fill up on the powder and the lead balls, so back into the other rooms we went.

A cartouche attached to my sword belt, which I crammed full of the lead balls. Likewise, I managed to fit two of the primitive powder horns next to it.

After this I retrieved three of the belts with the pots on them, crossing two over my shoulders and wrapping the third above the sword belt.

To finish off I took a coil of slow match, wrapping most of it round my midriff and cut a bit off wrapping that round the barrel of the 'thunder lance'.

So, dear reader, what is the problem here?

Well, the pots or in a more modern term apostles aren't exactly the most secure things. The Iron keep was also full of fire.

I had basically strapped a bomb vest to myself and trust me when I say, it's not fun when a bandoleer of full apostles goes bang.

"Are you all set sir, and are you sure you're not going to leave your...erm, new toy alone?"

"No, I'm keeping it," I replied in a defensive manner and started to go about loading the weapon.

It took me about a minute and twenty seconds to get it ready, not the fastest but you try and load a musket quickly. It's a lot harder than it looks.

The last thing I did before leaving the strange armoury was to light the slow match.

I not really sure how to explain how I felt about this new technology. I would probably have to say in awe and excited to have something new to play with.

This little piece of Venn I still have, not that it's in firing condition any more. It would be too dangerous to fire. A nice mantle piece though.

I not sure why Vixen was so apprehensive, maybe because it was something so completely alien? He'd come round eventually.

As we reached Ornstein and Lucatiel we found them hiding behind a pillar.

The dragon slayer snapped round and sent a glare at us, "Where have you been?"

"Searching the keep. What's your problem?"

"Another of those damned archers and there's now way round without the pursuer's shield," He turned back and poked his head slightly round the pillar, withdrawing it quickly as a great arrow shot past.

The bugger was stood on an elevated platform with a view of all the open space ahead of us.

Would it be better to just run with Vixen blocking the arrows with his shield, or to take the archer out?

I thought about it for a moment, until Lucatiel tapped my shoulder.

"What's all this?" She gestured to my entirety, "A broken crossbow?"

"They call it a thunder lance," I told her, then looked at the brute, "I want to test out it's range. Can you cover me with the shield?"

The brute grunted, "I advise against it, but that's not going to change your mind. Is it, sir?"

"No."

I blew on the slow match, making sure it was still alight and fixed it in the jaw of the serpentine, then opened the little cover over the touch hole.

"Ready when you are, Vixen."

The brute nodded and we moved.

As soon as were were around the pillar I dropped behind shield and waited for the first arrow.

I popped up, aimed and squeezed the lever and…nothing.

I hadn't seated the match properly, when I squeezed the lever it missed the priming pan.

"Shit," I mumbled and ducked back behind the shield.

Panic started as I set about fumbling with the match and serpentine.

I closed the pan cover and squeezed sever times making sure the tip of the match was lined up. This time it was.

I waited again for the telltale thunk and brought the 'thunder lance' to bear.

The 'thunder lance' slammed into my shoulder, coughing up a large cloud of stinking smoke.

I heard the knight cry out and tumble into the molten lava below.

"Good hit, sir. Got his leg."

"His leg? I was aiming for his breastplate."

Probably now to go over a little misconception, muskets aren't as inaccurate as you might think. If you aim it properly and are within effective range, you will hit your target.

Most soldiers weren't trained to 'aim' at the enemy, merely point and pull the trigger in their general direction.

I wasn't used to aiming the thing. I may have been looking at breastplate, doesn't mean the muzzle was pointed at it.

There was also the fact that the round ball wasn't patched, meaning it may have had a dodgy trajectory coming out of the muzzle.

But most likely it was my shooting, it was a new art form after all. Got to give it time.

Shortly enough the adrenaline wore off and I was made aware of a dull ache in my shoulder. By dull ache I mean shooting pains.

Also, I'm going to stop calling the weapon a 'thunder lance' and just call it an arquebus.

"Three more coming over. Your assistance if you please, sir Ornstein," Vixen lifted his shield and I returned behind the pillar.

Lucatiel had her hands pressed to her ears.

"That was loud."

"I know."

"Is it magic?"

"I don't think so."

The blonde eyed the arquebus with concern, as Vixen had done with the handgönne.

I was sold on it though.

"Archer!" Ornstein called, "Creature, can you use that thing again?"

"I need a minute to load it."

"Hurry up then!"

It a lot harder to load one of these things when you're in a hurry. The first time I loaded it my companions weren't fighting.

"Get a move on, creature!" Ornstein yelled, blindly thrusting over the top of Vixen's shield.

Powder, ball, scouring rod, dust pan, close pan cover.

I ran over to the two 'lords', tested the match and waited.

An arrow went over head and I fired, hitting the archer just under the shoulder close to the armpit. I had again been aiming for the breastplate.

The Alonne knight dropped the bow, he was no longer a threat.

"A little quicker next time would be nice."

I'd like to see him try and load the arquebus.

The two 'lords' quickly finished off the Alonne knights and I reloaded again. All that time I kept my eyes on the archer. He was on his knees clutching the at the wound, visor on me.

What was he thinking?

It didn't matter as he collapsed shortly after.

"Any more archers or knights?"

"No sir, we're clear."

Good, cos' I didn't want to fire the arquebus for a little while. My shoulder and neck were hurting like hell.

Vixen and Ornstein went off first and I waved for Lucatiel to follow.

The main bridge crossing the lava filled courtyard was out, so we had to go through the blast furnaces. Lucky for us they were cold.

A few more Alonne knights stood in our way as well as one of those turtle knight fellows from Cardinal tower.

I left those to the brute.

The blast furnaces gave way to tight corridors and I discovered the downside of the arquebus. I couldn't fire the thing as there was no room to.

The next obstacle was a room full of what can only be described as flamethrowers.

"You stay here for a moment, sir."

The idea of becoming a suicide bomber wasn't that appealing. Lucatiel also stayed and asked a few more questions about the arquebus.

"Can I hold it?"

No she could not and I told her such. The woman would A. break it or B. not give it back.

Lucatiel pouted.

"OK, maybe once we get back to Majula and I figure out a little more about it."

That was the best offer I was going to give her; the pout disappeared, so it was the right move to make.

"Lady Lucatiel," Vixen shouted, "We require your assistance, can you make it through the flames?"

"I'll try."

She then darted off, leaving me to ponder life's great mysteries.

Around ten minutes later the fire receded leaving behind a cherry red glow.

Carefully I walked through the 'gauntlet', which also featured perilous spikes to add to the overkill. Were these effective defences? Practical? Worth the money to keep running?  
Maybe.

When I reached the end Lucatiel was climbing down a ladder, estus flask glowing at her hip.

"Was there anything of interest up there, lady Lucatiel?" Vixen asked, helping her off the ladder.

The blonde knight shook her head, "Just a bonfire and a switch for the traps. Seems sort of pointless really."

Strange place to put a bonfire?

"If there's nothing then let's go," Ornstein closed his visor and left the room.

We were taken back outside, the following rooms having given way. The keep must have been quite the size at one point, most likely filling the area completely.  
As we scrambled over the roof of one of these sunken buildings I saw some shape in the lava. I passed it off as nothing, just the heat messing with my head.  
We ended up at a dead end, the ground gone. Couldn't even tell what the building had been.

"Where's this daemon then?" I checked round a corner.

I got answer in the form of a howl.

From the Lava burst the creature and it was your stereotypical daemon. A muscled red brute, with horns and bat wings.

It howled again and slammed it's fist down at Vixen.

This small platform was not a good place to be fighting something of the Iron king's size.

The king's gaze then fell on me.

The next thing I remember is being smacked into a wall and little else.

I wasn't out long as Ornstein and Vixen were still fighting the daemon, which was now looking a little worse for wear.

Lucatiel was getting in good thrusts at the beast torso, as the other two went for it's arms.

The Iron king opened his mighty jaw, intent on biting the blonde undead.

Ornstein knocked her away, jamming his spear into the daemon's open maw. The beast threw it's head back and received another blow to the throat.

Thick rivulets of liquid iron ran from the wounds; the daemon sagged and went still, the great soul within shining bright as it left the body.

Ornstein took the soul and the daemon slipped back into the lava.

"I would like to keep this until I have to hand it over," Ornstein raised his visor, staring at the glowing mass, "I know this soul, I know it very well and I find it my duty as one of his personal knights to deliver it to the herald."

He was speaking to Vixen then noticed me getting back to my feet; the arquebus still firmly in my grip and in working condition, although two of the apostles had broken as well as the spear.

"Take that as a lesson, creature. Don't just stand gawking at the enemy because they will take advantage of it," He was stern.

I nodded and hobbled over to a door I had spied on the way in.

Trying it, the door was very much locked.

That key from earlier might work.

Briefly fishing around for it I slipped it into the lock and turned.

It clicked.

"What are you doing?"

"Exploring some more."

The door led to a set of steps descending in the earth. It wasn't a large room at the bottom, just big enough to hold an alter.

Getting closer the thing flashed and an undead appeared before me, sword raised in attack. It didn't get much closer.

The arquebus spat flames; I had managed to hit the undead's arm, nearly blowing it off.

Problem was it wasn't the arm holding the sword.

I had only stunned him momentarily, it shortly resumed it's attack.

The undead swung hard.

The only thing I had to defend against the blows was the arquebus; I had it turned over, allowing the stock and foregrip to take the blows.

One strike bit into the wood and the sword lodged.

The undead struggled to remove it with only one working arm.

It looked up, eyes widened.

The tip of a longsword shot past, piercing it's face.

"Thank you very much, Lucatiel," I turned my head.

The blonde was smiling a sickly-sweet smile, "You owe me now."

She pulled her sword away and I dislodged the unhollow's sword, then set about searching it. The only thing of note was an iron crown, which I kept. Could always sell it to Gavlan or that scavenger at the entrance of the keep.

The undead's boots were dusted lightly in ash, curious.

Something took hold of me and I walked over to the alter, placing my hands on it. My body tingled, the world twisting around; I could no longer see Lucatiel.

I wasn't at the Iron keep any more, but some lonely tower.

The ground shifted beneath my feet, sending me down a short slope of ash. I was covered in the stuff.

I was having none of it and returned to the alter.

One more world-twisty trip later I was back.

Lucatiel asked what happened.

I didn't have an answer and returned up top.

Vixen opened his mouth, but I shut him down.

"Don't say a word, let's just leave. Also, we're going back to that armoury and you two are carrying powder barrels for me. Don't argue and you can keep all the souls we've collected so far"

The dragon slayer grunted and Vixen nodded.

Four barrels would be enough I thought, along with more rounds and slow match. It was made easy with the big lads humping it all back to Majula.

After they left I set up the remaining barrels throughout the rooms with powder trailing between them.

I would keep the king's 'thunder lance' but the other handgönnes and hakebusses...I couldn't leave them for other scavengers. Too dangerous and why let anyone else play with my new toy?

With the powder outside the door, I pressed the still burning match to it. The powder hissed and started flashed to life.

"What are you doing now?" Lucatiel came up beside me.

I ignore the question, "Run."

I grabbed her hand and dragged her as fast as I could from the keep.

We got to the other side of the bridge leading into the keep when the barrels went up. The moment before the air went still and all was quiet.

Part of the castle wall bulged out, then the ear-splitting explosion came.

"Gwyn protect," Ornstein muttered.

Lucatiel looked at barrels the two 'lords' were carrying and backed away slightly.

I slipped an arm around her waist, "As long as they don't go near fire we'll be fine...well, I'd be fine regardless. For you it'd probably be excruciating, as the flames tear the flesh from your bones and..."

I trailed off as Lucatiel tensed up.

"Bastard," The blonde muttered under her breath.

I thought she would have pulled away from me, but no.

"Nothing like that will happen to you, honey. There wasn't any fire in the windmill like that in the keep."

I let go of Lucatiel and rested the arquebus against the wall, I hadn't had a smoke in at least three hours.

I stopped however, smoking is a bad idea when covered in pots of explosive powder.

Smoking would have to wait until we found somewhere to rest and when I'm on the subject of smoke, as the left descended back into the windmill I caught scent of something.

"Do you smell that?" I sniffed a few more time.

Black smoke flooded the cage.

If you cast your mind back to the prior chapter you may remember that my three travelling companions were arguing briefly about who had set the windmill blades on fire.

That fire hadn't been put out and had spread…

Ornstein and Vixen looked at each other, then at me and Lucatiel.

"Myself and the pursuer have just remembered creature, it was the woman who started the fire."

"What?" She squeaked and started to protest that she hadn't started the fire. You may start singing a certain song if you want, dear reader.

I won't as I don't like the song. I lost interest in Billy Joel after _An Innocent Man_.

Anyway, I gently cupped her cheek and turned her head so that our eyes met, and in complete seriousness told her, "If I blow up, I'm taking you with me!" 

* * *

**So yeah, I decided to add very early firearms to this story. I know they don't appear in the actual game, but I thought it might be a little fun.  
Take away the fantasy elements, the weapons and armour used in the game range from 12th century to the late 16th century, so I could see something like handgönnes/arquebus' fitting in.  
** **I won't be using it like some wonder-weapon for von Bayer as there are plenty of problems that go along with these early guns. Hang fires, misfires, bad powder, wet powder, fouling etc.  
** **Anything could happen.  
I may end up re-writing the whole thing anyway.  
Who knows.  
Until then, I'll see you next time.**


	8. Time For Rest

**Here we go with some more of my rubbish.  
** **As always I do not own the rights to the souls series, or any of the other references I may have made.  
** **I had also decided not to edit the first two parts and just re-write them, cos' I read them back and quite frankly they're shit. The rest of it also needs thoroughly editing to make corrections to spelling, grammar and things like continuity as that is apparently important.  
Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the mess that is in the next three parts and I'll see you all next time. **

* * *

I don't think I did a good job going over how long it took for us to get to Venn, it may have seemed like just a few days when in reality it took us close to three months to get there and three months back. It was a long trip, but we got the soul.

It wasn't as easy as I made it seem either, my boots had fallen apart and I was walking barefoot. I don't think I need to explain to you why that's a bad thing. My helmet was battered and dented, but better than my head. I had lost my knife somewhere and my schara was blunt. The only bit of equipment that was in good condition was my newly acquired arquebus, although I was finding a little harder to get rounds down the barrel. I had only fired it a few times after leaving the keep, hunting what little wildlife was left in the area. Well...trying to hunt, I hadn't successfully hit anything.

It was Lucatiel who gave me a suggestion.

"Have you tried cleaning the insides of it? Just that in a chimney soot builds up and can clog it. Is that powder any different."

Normally, with a black powder weapon you pour hot or boiling water down the barrel to clear the fouling. That's how I do it anyway.

We didn't have the equipment to boil water though. We were light on equipment in general.

That left option two, a not so pleasant option.

If soldiers couldn't use hot water they'd sometimes piss down the barrel and clear the fouling that way.

Well, I don't have a bladder which left three options.

No, two.

One would stab me if I even asked.

And I don't think I should dwell on this any more.

Picking up a pot was definitely on my itinerary, the next would be new clothing. The cold was setting in.

 _When Winter's shadowy fingers first pursue you down the street  
_ _And your boots no longer lie about the cold around your feet…  
_ _...When winter_ _comes howling in…_

My feet really felt the bloody cold I tell you.

So on we slogged, even running into Gavlan again. He took Mytha's skin (Yes, I did actually take it, I wasn't joking) but not the crown, the Gyrm didn't even sniff at the arquebus as I thought he might have.

For the skin I got a refill of that ale, some bound parchment and charcoal sticks to write with. Thought it might be useful.

A little part of me was hoping for my own people to have found Drangleic and I could go home, but the rest of me was saying we've already started. I couldn't just bugger off.

No such luck anyway.

Whilst Majula seemed a little more populated, several more tents pitched, there wasn't a single other Erebayan.

It was a cold, clear night, that first night back and quiet. Vixen and Ornstein were bugger knows where, probably trying to find somewhere for us not to freeze.  
Myself and the dandy knight waited, sat down against some wall.

"Shall we stay here a week or two, just have some time off doing fuck all?" I asked Lucatiel.

She was leaning heavily against me, head resting on my shoulder.

"That sounds lovely," She yawned.

That yawn was infectious as I found myself doing it also, my eyes growing very heavy. I don't quite remember when I fell asleep, but I had.

I was still against the wall with Lucatiel next to me, someone had thankfully thrown a blanket over us. It was still cold though.

Deciding to be nice, I scooped the still sleeping Lucatiel up and deposited her by the bonfire. Didn't want her going hollow by freezing to death.

I went back for my arquebus and sat on the herald's rock.

Shanalotte herself was no-where to be seen, but she would show herself eventually. Too cold to stand watch at the bonfire all day long, don't blame her.

I might bitch about the cold, but I really do like it.

Winter's the most beautiful of all the seasons.

It's better than the heat.

The crunching of gravel caught my attention, it was coming from where I had first stumbled. More poor undead funnelled into this world.

The undead was a young knight wearing some nicely crafted white armour.

He pulled off his barbute and stared at me, I stared back.

"Well, aren't you going to tell me where I'm going?" He sounded petulant.

I ignored him and started to fiddle with serpentine, the whole mechanism was going to have to be taken apart. It was sticking, probably just needed a thorough cleaning and now I was back in Majula I could do that.

"Are you deaf or stupid? Answer me!" The young knight raised his voice and grabbed my shoulder.

He was one of those cunts then.  
No problem, I'm one of those cunts too.

"Lower your voice, people are sleeping," I removed his hand, weighing up the option of clubbing the knight over the head with the butt of the arquebus.

The young knight scowled at me, his lips pulled taut.

"Tell me now, you damned pissant."

Well if he wasn't going to be quiet, I didn't see any harm in using the arquebus for it's intended purpose and make things a little louder.

The weapon was already loaded, it just need to be primed and a slow match lit.

"My my, we are lively this morning," The teasing tone of Shalquoir stopped me from reaching for the powder horn.

The kitty jumped up onto my lap, looking up at the undead knight.

"Why don't you go and rest in that little building over there," The cat motioned with her head towards the house closest to the manner, "The herald is not yet awake. So come back later."

The young knight grumbled and stormed off.

The kitty turned round.

"Hello stranger. Been raiding the kingdom of Iron, have we?" She pawed at the arquebus.

I started to run a hand down Shalquoir's back, leaving the cat purring.

"Of course, the Iron king wasn't going to just hand over his soul. You know what this is then?"

The cat rolled her neck and sat down, "Through old rumours and whispered secrets. I had passed them off as some fanciful tale."

Of course the watcher had heard something.

The kitty then changed the subject, "You have built quite the strange party as well. A pursuer, a walking legend and you a god. Oh how things have gotten interesting."

"Sleeping beauty there is also with us," I pointed with my foot to Lucatiel. The decay around her eye was getting worse, spreading.

How much longer before she'd hollow?

Not something I really wanted to think about.

"Is there actually a cure, or is that a story to give them hope?" I asked, scratching Shalquoir's ear.

"I am just a simple cat. I do not know."

Bullshit! That cat know more that she was letting on.

Perhaps I could have bribed her?

"Collect the remaining souls and you might get your answer." She flicked her tail back and forth, "Your next is a soul that long ago belonged to a paledrake, driven mad by obsession. I think your dragon slaying friend may have some knowledge of what I speak."

I'd bring it up when I got the chance.

Just as long as this soul didn't take several months to collect and I got some time off before.

The cat said little else and fell asleep across my lap.

There wasn't much really to do; didn't want to disturb the cat. I ended up draining the remaining ale from the canteen and started singing softly to myself.  
No, I wasn't drunk before you think it.

Just a little song from Erebay as homesickness was creeping towards me;

 _To those the fields of white_

 _in eternal darkness bathed._

 _You shining diamond star_

 _the heart of Erebay._

 _The crystal streams of silver flow,_

 _through rolling hills,_

 _your veins._

 _And to guide you clear,_

 _Sweet Erebay,_

 _we cry huzzah for the Blackened Rose._

 _Huzzah! For the Black Rose._

It hadn't helped, just made me want to be back more.

A little like one of those old cowboy movies, yes? I do believe all I needed was a harmonica and a horse, cos' I already had a firearm, booze and roaring fire. Maybe a sad cowboy song too…

 _My crocodile shoes are crying too  
For they know how much love I have for you._

Nah, who wants to hear a country and western song written and sung by a Geordie?

"You should sing more," Lucatiel propped herself on her elbow and yawned, "Your voice is nice."

A compliment...from the dandy knight of Mirrah. Colour me shocked, what did she want?

I obliged her and started another.

Around halfway through the song Lucatiel shifted her self and rested against my leg, her head on part of my knee that wasn't occupied by Shalquoir.

"That's a dangerous position to be in, honey," I informed her.

"How come?"

"We'd be in danger of people thinking we actually like each other, if anyone saw us that is," I ran my fingers through her hair, "It could jeopardise my chances with Shanalotte. As we've discussed she's prettier than you."

Lucatiel didn't punch me like before, which I had been expecting. Instead the blonde nuzzled her cheek against my leg slightly.

"We both know that's a lie," She replied softly.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Was I going to be the one to damage her 'fragile ' ego and in turn have her damage me?

In the end I didn't say a thing.

Lucatiel took my silence as agreement and I took her silence as contentment...except she had really just fallen asleep again.

Rather than an Erebayan folk song I went with a Lullaby. I had overheard it one day in court, a nobleman's wife was singing it to her restless child.

The song stuck with me and I had her teach me it. I would sing it to my eldest daughter whenever she had nightmares.

I even wrote music to accompany it on the piano. Might have to playing after writing this chapter, it's been awhile.

The lullaby had a good effect as Lucatiel started to smile.

I was growing somewhat fond of the girl. You never would have guessed, would you?

About an hour later Shanalotte decided to show her face.

The emerald herald took one look at me and told me to move.

Well that's a nice hello. Shanalotte could have at least asked if I was alright and if I had the soul of the Iron king, but no.

"You don't expect me to sit in the dirt, do you?" She scowled.

"If you want to disturb these two then go ahead, but on your head be it."

The last fire keeper grunted in annoyance and I caved.

"Lucatiel, you have to get up," Gently I shook her, "If you don't I'm going to claim the bathhouse for myself and the Erebayan empire. Then no-one but me can use it, you'll have to use that ditch of stagnant water to the south."

The blonde's eyes flickered open, "I'm comfy though."

"Tough," I lifted Shalquoir off my lap, "I want to get some new equipment before I even consider relaxing and I can't do that with you leaning against me."  
She didn't move.

Perhaps Lenigrast had a crowbar.

The blonde murmured something into the fabric of my breeches and pushed herself up.

"Good girl," I patted her head.

Lucatiel grumbled, "Stop talking to me like I'm a child."

"In comparison to me you're all children, honey," Which was very much true.

She crossed her arms, "Physical age, yes. Mental age, no."

That was also very much true.

"I'm pretty sure you'll need new equipment too, we do it now and you can go back to resting for as long as you want."

I left Lucatiel and went over to see Lenigrast.

He was awake, slaving over some pattern. An undead was wanting a war hammer made, an ingot was already in the coals ready to be forged.

The large green man looked over his shoulder, "Not dead yet then? I suppose you're here for another spear and helmet?"

"No spear and I'm not sure about a helmet yet. Just hoping you could put an edge on this," I handed over my schara.

The blacksmith turned the blade over several times and ran a finger along the cutting edge.

"I can do, but it might be easier to just recast it. I do have some bronze somewhere around here and it would be an easier job than this one," Lenigrast motioned to the war hammer pattern, "Leave this with me. Is there anything else?"

"A cuirass? I'll take an unfinished one."

The blacksmith's eyebrows knitted, "What good would an unfinished cuirass be?"

"I'm not going to wear it, just need something to aim at."

"If you're paying for it, I'm not going to question. Now get out, I've got work to do!"

Returning outside to the bonfire Vixen was waiting. The pursuer looked a little uncomfortable.

"What's the matter?"

"Problem with the fire powder, sir."

"What do you mean there's a problem with the fire powder?"

He looked at his feet and answered, "It's wet, sir."

The brute took me over to the four barrels I had them take from the Iron keep. One of them was fine, but water had gotten into the other three.

It wasn't a slurry, more damp than wet really.

"Shit," I started to chew on my lip and picked up a lump of the powder. I only had a finite amount of the stuff.

"Could we not dry it out by the bonfire?" Ornstein suggested.

As long as it wasn't in any danger of catching sparks, then maybe. The idea of compressing the powder, squeezing the moisture out of it also came up.

We couldn't just leave it out in the sun, being winter the damp would get at it and it would never dry.

"I'll go with the fire option. Since you suggested it Ornstein, you can start. Pack it into cakes, as many as you can get onto a blanket and place it close to the bonfire.

If Shanalotte gives you trouble, ignore her and tell her no-one is to touch the powder," Then to Vixen, "Can you ask around and see if anyone has an idea about making this powder? Also see if there are any cobblers amongst those hollows gathered."

"What makes you think we're going to do that?" Ornstein said coldly.

"I'm an emperor, you are menials. I'm going for a bath."

I walked off before I could hear his reply.

Before the bathhouse however I went to see Maughlin. The bastard had changed in our six month absence.

"Oh sorry," He started, "Have we met? I've been so busy lately."

The bugger was definitely more cocky, no longer this timid man. His tone of voice, the way he was sat, it dripped arrogance.

"Are you here to look at my wares? You best look quick, I might sell out soon."

I ended up coming out with an under shirt, duelling pants, turn over boots which I never wore turned over and a cavalier hat.

It wasn't the best equipment and Maughlin was asking extortionate prices for them; I roughed him up a bit and got the stuff for free.

I even took some needles and thread, might be worth learning how to fix my own clothes rather than having to buy new stuff every five minutes.

It's a good skill to have and it hasn't done me wrong so far.

I made my way over to the bathhouse, which was thankfully empty and I slipped in. As I had told Lucatiel, I was going to soak for a very long time.

The fall of footsteps caught my attention sometime late.

"If you don't want to go hollow, I suggest turning around and walking straight back out. I did put a sign up on the door. So, fuck off!"

I really didn't want to be disturbed. You will no doubt know the feeling, dear reader, of just wanting to have a nice bath in peace.

"No I will not," The blonde undead rounded the corner, "You've been in an hour and a half. And yes I did see your sign, but no-one could read that scrawl."

Scrawl, scrawl! My hand writing's beautiful.

"Well I wasn't going to write with your primitive letters."

"You don't know how to write with our letters!"

Point taken.

"What do you want, Lucatiel?"

The blonde pulled off her jerkin and started to unbutton her under shirt, "I want to use that bath too. If you aren't going to get out, I'm just going to get in."

What?

"Hang on a moment, I was only joking when I said you could join me and you're not stopping..." I gave up as she entered the water opposite me.

In all honesty I was probably making a bigger deal out of the whole than that I needed to. Really I should have just gotten out.

"I saw what you did to that poor Volgen," She didn't sound happy.

"I'm sick of him. Maughlin has sold me nothing good and I'll be damned if I pay for another, so I didn't and gave him a little message."

The blonde exhaled through her nose, "I wouldn't call it a little message, von Bayer. If you really are an emperor act like one and not some common thug."

"Yes dear," I replied.

Though really I am a thug and I wholly embrace that.

I'm just a thug in a pretty uniform that wears the skin of an emperor and a god.

Most expect the posh/divine thing not a brown shirt and as you may have guessed, I may have worn one of them too.

I'd rather win things quick and brutal over long and drawn out.

Lucatiel came round next to me.

Like earlier she rested her head against me shoulder.

"I hope you're not expecting to use me like this all the time?" She had been doing this more over the last month or so. A good thing, who knows.

She hadn't punched me since harvest valley. Then again I hadn't done nothing stupid to her to warrant a smack.

"I don't want to fall asleep and drown," She yawned, "So don't whine, you're saving my life if you think about it."

So that was the angle she was going with.

"Where are we going next?" Lucatiel asked.

"After some old paledrake's soul. Need to ask Shanalotte where that is though, but I don't want to think about that for now. Just want to kick back."

And this bathhouse was the best way to start and I had really hoped without company.

"Sir!," The pursuer shouted, "Are you in there, sir?"

"Yes, Vixen. I'll be out in a minute," I pushed the blonde away, "Sorry Luca, the baths all yours now."

The new clothes felt wonderful after the bath and the blonde did comment on it, after I nicked the jerkin she'd been wearing and put it on.

It fit, a little loose round the chest for obvious reasons, but I didn't keep it on. I did however keep a hold of it along with her other clothes.

"von Bayer!"

"Well my dear, darling Lucatiel. You were bold enough to come in here whist I was bathing and bold enough to get in. So I do believe you'll be bold enough to walk back through Majula to get these. I'll be taking the towels too," I blew a kiss, then left.

Vixen was stood just outside and was out of his armour for once. He was clean shaven and not just the beard he had grown, but the top of his head too. It looked a bit odd. My hair has never been shorter than my ears and I don't think I've ever met a bald Erebayan.

Never have to shave either. No body hair other than the stuff on the top of my head, eyebrows and eye lashes. Seems like an awful pain to deal with, glad I don't have to.

Vixen briefly eyed the clothing in my arms, recognised it as Lucatiel's and asked if I was about to do something stupid.

"I've already done the stupid part, Vixen. I might have signed my death warrant, but it will teach her not to interrupt _my_ time. I mean the cheek of it all, getting in the bath with."

I made several 'tsk' noises.

"I'll just hide in Heide for a few days. Did you find anything?" A change of subject seemed right.

"No cobbler sir, but I found someone who has seen the fire powder made. I gave the fire-working book to him. He's set up behind the blacksmith."  
I told him I would check it out.

This man was the mage we had crossed back in the smuggler's cove.

As much as I didn't like it he knew about the powder. He babbled on about the different component that went into making the stuff go bang.

I didn't care about what went into it, just that I got more.

"If I could get the materials I might be able to produce some, but it would take time. In return I would like to keep this tome."

A small price if it meant more powder, not that I could read it anyway.

And if he didn't produce the powder I could always kill him and take the tome back. Once less wytch in the world wouldn't weigh down my conscience.

On my way back into the village the Lenigrast stopped me, throwing a breastplate at my feet. He grumbled that I could pay him later and went back inside.

Now to find somewhere I could set it up, which I found some way outside of Majula. It was an open field; old farmland left to nature and far enough out of the way I doubt I would disturb anyone.

I informed Vixen that I would be testing the arquebus and didn't know when I would get back; I wanted him to also keep an eye on the drying powder at the bonfire.

It was a little after midday when I found the spot and it looked like we might have snow. I got a small fire going over which I placed a small pot. I had found one _misplaced_ back in Majula.

My goal here was to get to know the weapon and so I took it apart. The most complex thing was the lock, but even that was little more than the trigger-lever, sear, sear spring, a tumbler and the serpentine. The stock was made of beech and the barrel was a single piece of iron shaped into a hexagon, bored out and seated in the stock. Simple yes, but deadly.

In the small book I had bought from Gavlan, I noted everything down and provided illustrations. This was to be my own firework book. It's hidden somewhere in one of my libraries now, probably mixed in with my hip-flask bibles cos' the only way you're getting me into a church is steaming drunk.

I ran into a slight hitch when putting it back together...I dropped the sear spring and nearly lost it in the long grass. This is a big no no.

We flog soldiers who misplace or lose parts of their weapons and not even I'm safe from that, it does get the point across.

With much pain I did retrieve the spring eventually and got the weapon back into working order. I would need some form of oil or wax to keep the internal mechanism working. Lard was in abundance, so seemed best I use that.

With a better 'understanding' of the weapon's parts I set about practising loading the thing. A minute and a half is too long. I can now have a musket primed and ready to fire in around 15 seconds...if you give me a little notice before hand. It has been awhile since I had to use a musket.

For some time I went through the motions, going off some of the translations Vixen had made for me from the tome.

Just getting used to having to withdraw and use the scouring rod, then replace it was difficult.

I soon grew board of 'drilling' and loaded the arquebus properly.

An angry blonde stopped me, complaining about being utterly humiliated by my actions.

"If it wasn't for Vixen...You're a prick, you know that!"

Her shouting didn't stop me for long as I fixed the match to the serpentine and bang, drowned her voice out.

A good shot, if a little high of where I'd been aiming; the ball had punched through the plate.

The arquebus was suddenly torn away from my grip.

"Don't you ignore me, von Bayer," Lucatiel got right up in my face, "When will you stop acting like a child? When?"

I wrestled the arquebus from her and started to set up again, "Does it matter as long as we get the souls?"

Lucatiel stamped her foot, "Don't answer a question with another-"

I fired again. Another high shot.

"Why don't you just let it go, honey? Your life's too short...well you're dead anyway. It doesn't matter."

The blonde didn't take well to that and I got slapped.

Was there really anything wrong with what I said? It's better to let petty things like that go and just get on with whatever you're doing.

"There are much bigger problems that we have before us," A laugh escaped my lips, "Much worse than you being made to parade around in the nude. I'm sorry for my silly little stunt, for what it's worth. So let's just kiss and make up, then you can give me a hand since you're here."

Lucatiel's lips parted, teeth bared.

"I did say I'd let you use the thunder lance once we were back, didn't I?"

"Fine!"

"Alright then," I handed her the new weapon, unloaded of course. Wouldn't want her turn it on me.

"It's heavy," She was struggling to keep the muzzle up. I would need to give her a helping hand to steady it.

Lucatiel handed it back and I went over loading with it her.

"Are you sure it's not magic?"

I nodded my head and handed her the arquebus back, without the match which was still in my hand. The blonde then stood before the breastplate and stood myself behind her.

"Have you used crossbows before?"

The blonde nodded.

"It's a little like that. Bring it up to your shoulder and look down at the little post at the end, then when you're ready you put this in those jaws," I waved the burning match next to her, "And depress the lever."

"OK"

Then with one hand I helped raise the barrel and fitted the match in the serpentine.

"Make sure you've got it tightly against your shoulder, honey."

I learned the hard way that if you don't hold an arquebus properly you'll end up with a broken collarbone.

"Get the breastplate in your sight, then test the match," We squeezed the lever together, then I opened the pan cover, "Ready when you are."

The blonde's breathing slowed and I could feel her heartbeat race. Slowly she squeezed and the weapon discharged.

Even with me holding it the arquebus I could tell it had hurt her.

She had missed, close though.

Shock had taken it's place on her face. I called her name and she didn't respond.

I called again a little softer.

"Imagine this on the field of battle. What good are knights if common footsoldiers have these?"

"You want another go?"

"Yes."

I had a little more control this time and we hit the plate.

"There you go, one dead cuirass," I smiled at her.

The blonde undead released the weapon leaving it to me.

I think I now know how to explain the feeling at least from a mortals viewpoint; it's the power of god placed into the hands of humans.

Gwyn's lightning/Zeus's thunderbolt, Thor's mjolnir etc.. get your hands on one of them and you are unstoppable. You would be too, but that's when we get called in and you don't walk away.

It happens more that you think and more than those cunts care to admit. I don't care, I get paid.

Something rustled in the long grass.

A pair of rabbits popped out then disappeared, then popped out again.

I looked at the blonde and started to load again, "Are you hungry?"

I could hit a rabbit, course I could. Vixen had shown me how to skin them and I had something that would definitely kill the little creature.

We waited for one of the rabbits to show up again and when the first did I fired, missing completely. The two pests bolted, startled by the noise.

I had been aiming right at it and close enough that the ball should have hit. The thought hadn't occurred that the creature heard the initial ignition of the powder.  
I returned to Lucatiel slightly disappointed.

She of course teased me for it and rightly so. Someone back in Majula would probably have food and one rabbit wasn't anything. One less shot however.

I broke down the weapon again and cleaned it, with hot water this time and made more notes.

As I had predicted the snow started, a little before sunset. Nothing heavy, but enough to be uncomfortable to be caught out in.

I would have stayed out for longer, if the dandy knight hadn't dragged me back to Majula.

Once back we were greeted by the pursuer asking if we were alright, followed by the dragon slayer.

"Creature," Ornstein called and handed me a lump of something.

It was the wet powder, now dry.

"Only one way to find out if it fires."

A little pressure crumbled the lump. It was a little hard to tell in the waning light but the powder didn't seem so fine.

Got a real shock when I squeezed the trigged, drew half the population of Majula too. We had accidental stumbled across corning.

If that had been a hakebusse it would have detonated, I'm sure of it.

"Who in the name of the gods is making all this noise? Some of use are trying to sleep."

It was that young knight I had met that morning.

The man thought he was the most important thing in existence which I can tell you isn't true, he was just some entitled noble prat.

"I'll give you some advice kiddo, shag off!"

The knight drew his sword, "Someone should teach you some manners."

It was cute the way he was trying to threaten me.

Lucatiel stepped before the knight, "You might have a hard time with that and if anyone has the right to beat him to a pulp, it's myself."

"Hang on a moment," I interjected, "I thought we made up."

The blonde undead swivelled, "No, I'm still deciding on whether or not to forgive you and don't forget you still owe me for saving you in the iron keep."

"I...didn't forget."

She cocked an eyebrow, "Of course you didn't."

"Hey!" The knight shouted, "Don't ignore me."

This bastard was rude.

"Should we test something else about this thunder lance, my dear Lucatiel?"

"Something else?"

"Yes," I nodded and slammed the butt of the arquebus into the knight's nose. If you can't fire the thing it also works as a handy club. To be honest it's probably the best way to use one of them.

The young knight went down like a sack of potatoes, he was crying too. Oh, it was beautiful.

My fun ended when Shanalotte stormed over cursing as she went. Her word had become law within sleepy town, she was the last fire keeper after all.

We all got a telling off, me especially. I think that was totally unfair as all I did was make a loud noise and break the cunt's nose.

He skulked off, blood pouring through his fingers.

I got a further telling off by Lucatiel for the 'thug' thing again; she really was hoping that I would turn into this mature and honourable figure.

I could definitely mature but honour's like salt, too much is bad for you.

Shanalotte ended up shooing the other hollows gather away and as I was about to walk way with the blonde, pursuer and dragon slayer, she stopped me.

"When you have all you need you're off to brightstone cove."

"And how far is that?"

"Around four days from here. You'll get to a three way split, you take the right most path. The other two are not for you to take yet. Also, can you try not to frighten the other undead. There are enough of them already unwilling to leave Majula, you're not helping."

"Yes Ma'am," I gave a short bow and returned to the others.

It was decided between the four of us that we wouldn't stay in Majula as long as we first suggested, it wasn't unanimous at first but we got there in the end. Just long enough that we were rested.

The snow started to come down a little heavier, so we retired to some tents the two 'lords' had set up. Myself and Lucatiel wouldn't be spending the night in the open, thank goodness.

Vixen went to sleep first, bidding us all a goodnight and I managed to get a little more information out of the dragon slayer about his home.

Upon asking about the paledrake he grew silent.

"Seath the scaleless, born without the scales of his brethren which made them immortal. For most of his pitiful existence he coveted scales of his own, performing unspeakable experiments upon the peoples of my home. My lord Gwyn made him a duke, he made a dragon a duke. Sheer madness!"

The old man was getting quite worked up over the past, he took a deep breath and apologised for losing his composure.

I was then asked by him to talk about my homeland, in exchange for the information he had given. I did my best to paint the picture.

The dragon slayer seemed satisfied regardless and soon went to bed.

In an act of kindness I removed the cavalier hat I'd taken from the Volgen and placed it on the blonde, "You lost your hat at the Bastille, call it a gift. I'll just get my morion fixed and well, I think it will suit you more."

Lucatiel fixed the hat, "Are you trying to buy your way back into my favour?"

She was smiling.

"Don't think that this means I've forgiven you, far from it," The blonde sounded serious.

"Well, I've forgiven you for disturbing my bath...though feel free to do so again."

The blonde slapped my arm.

"Relax Lucatiel, you really should just let it go. I think the undead here have more on their minds than your naked form, however beautiful that may be."

Her cheeks flushed and she pulled the brim of the hat down to cover her face.

"What I did was stupid too," Lucatiel mumbled.

I took her hand in mine, "Maybe."

We all have the right to do stupid shit, don't we? Just as long as it doesn't harm no-one...well, if it doesn't end in blood...

A sigh left my lips, "I'll stop, cos' your right I need to 'grow up'. I am not nor have I ever been a teenage boy, so I shouldn't act like one."

Lucatiel told me she'd believe it when she saw it.

She of little faith, if the knight of Mirrah saw me now...

"Sing for me again please," She asked quietly, pulling her hand away from mine.

I did. Granted Lucatiel had no idea what I was singing, but it sounded real nice.

Again she rested her against me.

Perhaps we were getting _too_ comfortable, it's something I'm still asking myself. A haunting question, with an obvious answer I'm scared to know.

Regardless a little happiness isn't that bad, especially in a world like that.

A short time later we both went to bed, not that I got to sleep but then again I slept very little back then anyway.

The following day was like the first, I practised more with the arquebus increasing the distance of the cuirass a little more each shot and also got my new schara.

I asked Lenigrast to see if he could find a way to fix a dagger to the muzzle of the arquebus as another means of defence with the thing.

We went with the simplest solution which was to take a normal dagger, strip the grip and bound it in leather. It slipped into the muzzle and seated nicely.

I wouldn't be able to fire the thing with the dagger plugging it, but I now had a weapon that was a spear, a club and the evolution of the sling/crossbow all rolled into one.

Little else happened for the rest of that day.

The third was similar, Lucatiel spent sometime with Shanalotte whilst the two 'lords' helped me with further practice.

I was so caught up in practice with this new weapon that I had neglected to see another friend in Majula, the cartographer.

Shanalotte told me the man hadn't left the manor in around a week. Cale had been slaving over his maps like the last time and had turned into a recluse of sorts.

The look he gave when I walked in said he didn't recognise me.

Cale's eyes wandered from me to his maps and back, "Do...I know you?...Oh...yes...you are the one aiding with my map. More lights appeared."

He then went back to work on whatever he was doing.

I let him be and that was the end of the third day.

On the fourth we were ready to set off again and said farewell to that sleepy little town of misery.

* * *

 **Songs referenced in this part:**

 _ **Winter Song**_ **(1970) by Lindisfarne, written by Alan Hull.**

 _ **Crocodile Shoes**_ **(1994) sung by Jimmy Nail. An _interesting_ song written for the TV show of the same name, which is a canny series all to itself.**

 **The songs are on YouTube.**


	9. To Brightstone Cove

One more gatehouse stood in our path just outside of Majula and a warrior with a crystal blue sword sat before the entrance.

"The way ahead is blocked by this awful statue," The warrior told us, "Gives me the willies it does, almost like the things real. Hey, you don't think that's a real person?"

No, I didn't think such. People don't just turn to stone, like people don't spontaneously combust. That's only Spinal Tap drummers (on a separate note you humans fooled me with the movie and Nigel is definitely my spirit animal, if we gods can have them?)

I told the warrior that we would clear the way for him.

The statue was lifelike and grasping at the contraption that opened the door. It didn't stand up to a few whacks from my arquebus' butt.

It crumbled and did something I wasn't expecting; the rubbled started bleeding. A quick check revealed bones and a little un-petrified flesh.

Shite, it had been a real-living human.

Shite!

"If that was a pygmy then that means there are basilisks nearby," The dragon slayer gripped his spear tightly, "Be careful."

I side-stepped the bleeding rubble and pulled the device.

The door groaned and slowly started to rise, revealing the basilisk creature. It looked like a frog with great googly eyes glued to it.

It didn't take long before Ornstein had it skewered.

"Only one. Good," He pulled the spear free and rolled the basilisk over with his foot.

"You see here," The dragon slayer gestured at the reptiles chest, "It creates something in there and sprays it out the mouth, not something you want to be covered in. If you come across one on your own kill it from behind or try and get around it."

Well if the mist didn't get you the claws and teeth would. Not been petrified as of yet, don't want to be either.

As I looked down at the ugly thing something clicked.

Hollows flooded from previously closed doors. These were bloated, rotting things and far more gone than the others we had come across. Each one carried clubs covered in who knows what, it smelled just as rotten as they did.

The plug dagger was perfect for keeping them at distance, it did make a good spear.

I caught one in the throat and it went down, that was the only one I got.

Lucatiel downed the most, looking quite disgusted whilst doing so.

"Ugh, it's leaking," She stepped back holding, hand over her mouth.

The poisonous liquid steamed as it made contact with the cool air. I thought for a moment of dipping some of the lead bullets in it, though stopped as I didn't know if hollows and undead could be poisoned. I'd also have to be able to hit a moving target, those first three shots back at the Iron keep must have been luck.

I returned to the warrior sat outside, informing him we had cleared the way.

"I'll admit, didn't think you had it in you pal."

Well I had only murdered another person...that I didn't know was a real person in my defence.

The warrior held up a hand, "No, I didn't mean anything by it. A pleasant surprise and I shall pay you back on the field of battle. I'm sure we will meet again."

I really doubt opening a door warrants an oath to aid someone. If I had saved him from certain death, then maybe, but not opening a poxy door. Any bugger can do that.

"Sure," I gave him an awkward smile and left.

Past the gatehouse were several villages, all rundown and filled with more of the poisonous hollows.

I half hoped to run into Gavlan, seeing as the Gyrm had a way of popping up in the middle of no-where at anytime. He would have booze on him and I was out, I don't like being in a state of alcoholessness and that is a proper word I have just come up with, shut up.

My Gyrm friend did not appear.

"We do have to go through the Doors of Pharros, sir. Gyrm dwell there. You might find him, if he's not out 'wheeling and dealing', sir," Vixen raised his visor and smiled.

As the sun was beginning to set we came to the crossroads, it had been some form of building at one time. A checkpoint perhaps.

"Shall we set down here for tonight?" I asked, "There's a bonfire, it's inside and I think it's going to snow again."

"If we are where I think we are sir, I'd rather wait till morning," The pursuer walked in and looked around.

"I have no objections either," Ornstein pulled off his helm.

The dandy knight also agreed.

We weren't the only ones who had decided to take shelter at the crossroads, Creighton the wanderer was fast asleep next to one of the paths.

The murderer was mumbling about when he found his target.

His eyes flickered open and I found his weapon at my neck.

"Oh, I remember you," He lowered the axe, "Shouldn't sneak up on a man like that, could have killed ya. Wouldn't want that now friend."

Creighton did not sound sincere.

"You haven't seen him have you? I heard he's somewhere up ahead, I'll get him this time," He cackled to himself and I thought it best to leave him.

Had I made a mistake letting him out the cage, only time would tell.

I went back to the bonfire which had been placed in the centre of the room, it felt a secure place to rest.

The four of us decided that one of us would take watch whilst the others sleep. I drew first watch which I didn't make a fuss over, most likely I wouldn't sleep anyway.

The hours dripped away slowly and eventually Vixen came to relieve me. I went back to the bonfire, just intent on sitting but sleep took me.

I was having one of the most wonderful dream, odd but interesting.

Dreaming is a little different for me that it is for you as my dreams are basically very, very small and self-contained universes. We call them collapsing realities, not made to last.

We can fully interact with our dreams. Not always a good thing especially when nightmares set in or a bad memory takes the place of a dream.

The longest an Erebayan pure-born has kept a collapsing reality open is roughly three weeks.

They're good places to hide too...sometimes.

So, this dream had me in a large city with building in what I can only describe as neo-Gothic in style. It looked nothing like any city I'd seen before.

In this dream city men were turning into beasts; monstrous things that towered above the other inhabitants of my dream.

The ones hunting these men-turned beasts wore odd clothes and handled even odder weapons that shifted and changed.

In my taking in of these strange weapons I was blind-sided by one of the dream beasts. You would think with would be the part when I'd wake up, but no I was still dreaming.

The neo-Gothic city had faded, a tranquil graveyard taking it's place.

No beasts, no strange men with strange weapons, just quiet and calm.

A woman came into view, skin as pale as I.

A true beauty.

She mouthed words I did not understand.

It then came to me that this was no living creature but a doll, yet she felt more alive than most.

She placed her hands upon my shoulders and I upon her waist.

Myself and she danced amongst the tombstones and crucifixes in some form of twisted parody.

And...and then...then…

I was woken by a sharp jab to the ribs.

"If you don't get your arms off me, I will cut them off!" The blonde undead growled.

It seems that in my slumber I had wrapped my arms around Lucatiel, my head resting in the crook of her neck.

It took me a moment or two to figure out what was happening.

"I was dancing with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her hair was like moonlight, her voice soft and warm."

Lucatiel blew air threw her lips and spat, "It was just a silly dream, now get off me."

"We do need to get going, sir," Vixen looked at me, "No point in dwelling on dreams."

"You don't understand Vixen, she had just about taken her bodice off. You had to wake me up when it was getting to the good part."

The blonde looked slightly disgusted; I let go of her and wiped a little saliva from her jerkin.

Vixen nodded awkwardly, "Let's just get going, sir."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and asked what time it was.

The pursuer told me it was a little after sunrise and clear. Snow had fallen lightly, giving everything a look of having been powdered with sugar.

Lucatiel looked at me and harrumphed, picking up her equipment and walked off. I dearly hoped that it wasn't into another bloody pit.

Vixen took off after her telling me he would make sure that wouldn't be the case.

Ornstein had his visor up and came next to me.

"Tell me more of this dream, creature. My interest has been piqued and it's better than marching in silence."

I went over in detail everything I had seen, the clearest thing still being the woman.

The dragon slayer smiled, "Seems quite mad and so you know, before you woke the woman was also embracing you. She just happened to wake first."

The dandy had double standards. So it was alright when she used me as a rest or embraced me, but not the other way round. Bullshit!

Well maybe she'd just have to find another shoulder to rest her head against.

The thought was soon lost on me as a heavy mist settled.

Vixen and Lucatiel had stopped just before the entrance to a woodland.

"We need to be very careful in these woods," Vixen addressed us all, "We can't see them, but they see us. The quicker we cross this land, the better."

I plugged the arquebus once more, just in case and followed the brute.

The mist wasn't too bad, not like the smog of harvest valley. That had been horrendous.

At the corner of my eye a silhouette flickered, then another and a third and a fourth.

"We have company," I said softly, keeping my eyes on the figures.

"I don't see a thing, sir."

"Right there, Vixen. Four of them," I looked to Lucatiel and then Ornstein for conformation, but got nothing.

"Oh for..." One of the figures wasn't paying attention to me, but at the brute. A short thrust with the plug dagger opened it's throat.

Blood painted the 'ghost', highlighting it.

The one closest to me drew twin knifes and went for me. I smashed it's hands away and stabbed it's belly.

The two remaining figures looked to their dead and dying comrades, then started to back away. They were the smart ones.

What had they planned? To let us walk past, then back stab us?

"Can you see any more, sir?"

I briefly scanned the immediate area, spotting a few watching. They weren't getting any closer, which led me to believe we were safe and as we made it through these shaded woods, I was right.

The woodland gave way to more ruins, older than Drangleic I believe.

Moss covered and crumbling, so much history.

Vixen hushed us, "Lion clan warriors with a shaman."

These were strange creatures and as you may be able to guess they were lion-men. Each warrior grasped an axe and judging by the muscles, they would hit hard.

"As in the beasts from Forossa?" The blonde undead pushed in between us.

"Yes, lady Lucatiel," The brute looked at Ornstein, "Any suggestions, sir Ornstein?"

"Is there a clan leader? Kill it and the other's will turn."

Vixen looked back at the group of lion-men, "I think the shaman is the leader. Sir, do you think you could hit it with your weapon?"

The brute motioned to the arquebus.

That would all depend on how far away this lion clan shaman was, any further than 20 metres and no go. Vixen estimated around 18 or so and I set about loading.

There was a bonfire close by, which meant I didn't need to faff about with trying to get the match lit.

I set up with the barrel resting against some rubble, checked the match alignment and waited.

"The one with all the talismans is the shaman, yes?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Yes sir, that's the one."

I'm a little surprised that the lion-men didn't smell us, cos' I could smell them.

The closest warrior to the shaman moved and I had clear line of sight, then squeezed the leaver.

The pan flashed, but the arquebus didn't fire.

"The hell?" I turned back round, "The damned thing didn't-"

The arquebus discharged and it very nearly hit the dragon slayer.

"Creature!" He growled.

I'm not sure if it had been a defect in the powder charge I used or if I hadn't cleaned the arquebus properly, but I had just had my first hang fire. Another lost shot.

The dragon slayer looked as if he was about to murder me, but the roars of lion clan warriors were a little more concerning.

"Fucking hell! Pursuer with me, now," Ornstein closed his visor.

The pair got themselves in the narrowest part of the ruins, forcing a bottleneck on the lion-men.

I plugged the arquebus just in case, just as Lucatiel drew her sword.

"More coming around," Lucatiel called.

Two of the lion-men were pushing down a dead tree.

It came down, smashing a path for the warriors to follow.

The first roared and raised it's axe high above it's head, the brought it down. Lucatiel blocked it using half-sword. As she struggled the second crossed gunning for myself.

It made a clumsy swing at me, parrying left and catching the warrior in the mouth on the counter.

The warrior was only wounded and very much angry.

It swung again harder and caught my helmet, I got another jab at the lion-man.

The dagger pieced the warrior's arm and it dropped the axe. This was my chance to kill it.

As I went in for the third, aiming at it's throat, the beast grabbed the arquebus and stopped me.

The lion-man didn't need to use an axe, the claws that tipped it's fingers would gut me.

I let go of the arquebus and went for my sword, tearing across the beasts exposed stomach, spilling organs.

The beast refused to go down though.

I screamed at it in Erebayan and started to hack away.

Lucatiel won her struggle with the first lion-man, staggering it with a blow from her sword's pommel and then slammed the blade into the warrior's neck.  
A good kill.

To stop any more lion clan flanking us, I pushed the felled tree back.

"Are you alright?" I asked panting.

"Fine," She replied bluntly. Lucatiel then turned to help the others.

The two 'lords' had managed to hold out on their own.

Ornstein had the shaman against the wall, repeatedly driving his fist into the lion-man's face. Blood was dripping from between the plates on his arm.  
With the shaman's face pulped, the few remaining ran.

"Gwyn protect," The dragon slayer clutched his arm, "I'm going to need your dagger, creature."

He slowly walked back to the bonfire and started to strip his armour, revealing a nasty gash.

"Dagger!" He growled.

When I handed it to the old man, he placed the blade in the flames until it glowed cherry red. In his mouth Ornstein placed part of his belt and bit down, then place the glowing blade on wound.

It hissed and smoked and kicked up the awful stench of burnt flesh.

The dragon slayer winced and removed the blade.

"That was unpleasant," He handed the blade back.

I apologised for nearly killing the man.

He glared at me, "Be more careful."

I nodded, knowing now that if the weapon didn't discharge to keep it pointed away from people.

Whilst the dragon slayer was replacing his armour I reloaded.

Vixen came over, "I still don't like that thing, sir. Wouldn't you feel better with a crossbow and just throw that thing away?"

"No."

Throw it away for someone else to stumble across, fat chance.

"You're going to have to accept it," I slid the scouring rod back under the barrel and checked the lock, having dropped it earlier I wanted to be sure it was still working.

"Yes sir, sorry sir," He bowed his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Vixen. I'm alright with you speaking your mind," I smiled a little.

I think to knights like Vixen the arquebus, like the crossbow before it, was I suppose dishonourable as it allowed an untrained 'peasant' to kill these armoured men. It scared them, as for once in their lives they were vulnerable in all that plate they wore.

"Alright, let's stop this gossiping," Ornstein walked before us, clutching his helmet under his arm, "We need to cover more ground when we still have the light."

There was nothing to argue with there.

The two 'lords' took the lead in case of any remaining lion clan.

If there were any they didn't show themselves, though we did have a run in with a rather large basilisk. We avoided it like the plague.

Little else happened that morning.

I kept my mind occupied by thinking on that dream, trying to figure out what it had meant and what cause me to have.

"That dream cannot be as good as you're making it out to be," Lucatiel folded her arms, "So shut up about it."

It seems I had been talking to myself about it; the dream had a larger effect than I had thought.

Why?

Dreams are just dreams, aren't they?

"Sorry Lucatiel, just that dream was really nice towards the end. I do wonder if there's a woman out there really like her?"

The blonde harrumphed, "That's not shutting up, that's talking more."

I tried to decipher the look on her face; was she annoyed at me for some reason?

The mistake I made was to ask her if anything was the matter, to which I got a death stare.

There is a question I have, but I don't want to ask. Don't want to know the answer too and would probably actually die if I did ask.

For those of you still not catching my drift, all I shall say is _fear the lunar blood_.

I really don't know how you human males deal with it.

Less about that though.

As the sun was setting we came to the mouth of a cave and I could hear breathing, coming from within. The smell I can't describe, but there was definitely a living creature living in there.

I went in first as I had wandered ahead for whatever reason and was on my own, for a few minutes anyway.

What was I to find but a naked lady, half buried in the sand.

"What are you staring at?" Lucatiel asked as she entered the cave.

"Please tell me we're seeing the same thing?" My mouth open in confusion,"Are you alright...erm, miss? Do you need assistance, maybe?"

The naked woman didn't respond, just looked at us vacantly.

As Vixen joined us, he looked at the woman and said, "I don't wish to alarm you sir, lady Lucatiel, but I believe that she might be one of Aldia's creatures."

I gave the look of disbelief to the brute and when I turned back round the woman was gone.

"What are we all standing about for?" The dragon slayer asked when he caught up.

Before any of us could answer the naked woman burst from the sand, her lower half a fucking scorpion. Just what had this Aldia bloke been thinking?

"Oh, Gwyn protect!" He spat and readied his spear.

This fight didn't really last that long; the scorpion-lady was rather occupied with Vixen, Ornstein and Lucatiel, lobbing magic at them (Did I mention that the naked scorpion-lady was also a wytch?).

I just waited with my arquebus, waiting for the opportunity to arise.

When the time came the scorpion lady was reeling back from a spear thrust and I fired, putting a hole through her right temple. The air and sand were splattered with gore

The human part went limp, dead, but the rest still continued to fight.

It was put down by Vixen, who had clambered on top and like with the covetous daemon stabbed in the creatures other brain.

What kind of mad man was Aldia and had Vendrick been much better?

"The thing's another damned Quelaag, except a scorpion this time," The dragon slayer shook his head.

I asked him to elaborate on the statement.

"Quelaag was transformed into a half spider demon that shat out lava and flame, all because of chaos. Another of her sisters, the sickly one, also turned into something similar and we let them live. Disgusting."

I had a strong feeling after the way he talked about daemons at both the Iron keep and here that Ornstein didn't like daemons.

When the old man was ranting about the daemonic, I looked at the wound the arquebus produced.

The entry wound wasn't that large, roughly the same size as the ball, but the exit wound was...well, it had torn out the back of her head almost. The right eye had also burst and leaked milky white fluid over her naked torso.

I've since measured the bore of the 'thunder lance' and it's a 75 calibre, which now is a machine-cannon calibre. That kind of fucker's reserved for fighters and anti-air guns (our smaller anti-air batteries that is, our regular is a triple 88).

In short, you don't want to be hit by a 75 calibre ball.

We left the dead scorpion-lady and ventured deeper inside.

I found a chest a little further in.

A chest unopened and in the middle of no-where, a little suspicious wouldn't you agree.

Of course I went to open it.

A voice called out to us just before, "No open. Mimic, not chest."

I turned and found the voice belonged to a Gyrm.

The heavy set follow through a glass vial which shattered against the chest; the lid opened revealing rows of teeth.

"This way, this way. Come," The Gyrm shouted, gesturing towards a path carved from the stone.

The four of us followed.

"Gavlan?" I hesitantly asked.

The Gyrm stopped and turned to face me.

"No Gavlan. Gavlan brother, Havlan."

That's some lazy fucking naming there like. At least when I named my bairns I gave them individual names, with the exception of the girl cos' apparently I'm not allowed to name them!

Sorry...

To be honest the Gyrm all looked the same to me, a bit like a jock really, a mix of teeth, hair and muscle and all brandishing oversized weapons. All they were missing was the tartan.

A little further up the Gyrm halted us, "Cursed brother, wait. I kill."

Havlan removed the great axe from his back and cut down the undead Gyrm.

"Exiled cursed brother, wander home. No good," He pulled the axe free and made us follow again.

We walked for an hour or so through these caverns carved from the rock. Great halls beneath the ground.

Vixen's gaze wandered to something below us, "Goodness sir, have a look at that. A mastodon primal knight."

He pointed to the elephant-like beast in rusted plate, hefting a massive halberd and staring into the black.

"Why is he so far from Drangleic castle?" Vixen asked, "Dark creatures though, sir. Born from unspeakable acts of magic and science."

That creature needed to be dead then, magic and science do not belong together.

It's size was impressive I must admit, a size that would make some men consider turning tail and bolting from the field.

Vixen told me they were only used as guards though, never for battle. Whilst their big size was intimidating it made them big targets for archers, crossbowmen and now with me, gunners.

We left the primal knight, continuing further into the caverns.

I tried to spark up a conversation with Lucatiel, only to get the cold shoulder.

What had I done?

Wait, I know we'd been getting closer, a lot closer. She wasn't bloody jealous of that dream woman, was she? That would be a tad silly.

Confusing lot you humans, especially the women.

You'll know the saying, can't live with them, can't live without them. Except we can as pure-borns can live without them as we can 'reproduce' asexually, but where's the fun in that.

Now, around 10 minutes later we came to a large congregation of Gyrm, it was a city underground.

The Gyrm had been forced here by the dominant humans above and forced to carve out a living, not intended, in the dark.

They too were suffering from the grips of the undead curse, not as bad as humans but still enough to be a concern.

None of them looked too happy that the four of us were in their home.

I say looked, I couldn't really tell, but the body language said everything.

"Is your weapon loaded, creature? There's a slinger just above to the right."

Glancing up I saw him, though in regard to Ornstein's question I did have the weapon loaded, but my match had burned out. Whilst I had another two metres or so wrapped around my midriff, I was never going to get a length cut and lit.

You should never underestimate a good slinger.

"Let's just keep moving and try not to antagonise them. Even with the combined years of combat you and the pursuer have, I don't think we'll beat them all."

Lucatiel let loose a frustrated sigh, "Do you not think that if they wanted us dead that one would have stopped you from opening the mimic chest and guide us here?"

That seemed quite reasonable.

The group of Gyrm parted leaving only one in the centre, with open arms he cried, "Friend!"

The man, the myth, the legend that was Gavlan embraced me.

He told me that we were welcome in the Gyrm kingdom and that we had free travel within it.

"You drink," Like the last time he gave me booze, "You stay, you eat, you drink more."

This was more like it.

Truth be told I was getting a little sick of the constant undead and the quest for souls.

Lucatiel pinched the bridge of her nose, "You give that back now. Tell him Vixen, he is not drinking and we are moving on. You also agree, dragon slayer!"

The slight problem in the demand was I had already drained the tankard and had been given a second.

"Sir, the lady is correct."

Damn you, Vixen! I thought you would have my back.

I looked to Ornstein, my last hope.

The old man would surely have my back.

His lips were pulled taut, he was thinking.

"Well, I don't think it would bad thing for a few hours, but maybe after we have the next lord's soul," He answered, "And undead, do not do that again. I am not a tool for you to push whatever you want."

Ornstein took the second tankard from me and drained it.

"Pursuer, you speak the language. Thank the leader of these people for the passage through, then we leave," He tossed the empty tankard away.

I apologised to Gavlan.

"Is fine," He clapped my arm, "Before go, I give gift. Found lost, but have no use."

The Gyrm handed over a violin of all things, not that you would recognise it as such.

I held the instrument in my hand and though 'finally, a weapon I know how to use properly'.

But where was I to put it, cos' of course I was going to keep it.

I took a length of the slow match and used it to hang the violin and bow from my lower back.

"I'll put it to good use, my dear Gavlan," I shook the Gyrm's hand, "Hopefully we will take up your generous offer on our return, if you're here."

I think he smiled at me, unclipped my canteen and had it refilled.

Perhaps I should have just stayed with the Gavlan and let the others do the hard work.

Nah, that wouldn't do.

If I have a job to do, I'll see it through...with the exception of being a god and or an emperor.

I left my Gyrm friend and went back to the others.

We were led again by Havlan through the Pharros doors, past the stinking corpse of some oversized rat. I tried again to talk to Lucatiel and, you guessed it, no luck.

"What have I done?" I asked the pursuer and dragon slayer.

Neither of which gave me a good answer.

I'd just have to pry an answer out of her later or just let it go, which seemed simpler.

At the base of a long staircase the brother of my Gyrm friend left us and we ascended. The staircase ended in a lavishly carved gateway, outside of which was a plateau.

A half abandoned camp was set up, hollowed soldiers still on watch and hollowed peasant works still toiling away in the ruined earth. Even a live boar and it's young circled around the camp looking for any scraps of food, not yet gone rotten.

That camp would would do us well as a place of rest before heading into the cove proper, so Vixen, Ornstein and Lucatiel went about dispatching the undead.  
Whilst they did that, I went after the boar.

If I wasn't allowed to drink and feast with the Gyrm, I'd have my own feast and a certain blonde couldn't have any.

I caught the boar in the flank and it took off, not getting very far before collapsing. It's death was quick with a slash across the throat and that was dinner sorted.

The camp was built around a bonfire, so there would be no issues in cooking.

Pork was a well received, as opposed to the hardtack we'd taken from Majula which I don't think is actually food. At least edible food anyway.

We wouldn't be doing much more, too late in the day to navigate our way down into the cove. Lucatiel retired first, still with a face looking like a smacked arse. The other two went not long after, leaving me to watch over the camp.

I took my watch at the plateau's edge, overlooking the cove with Gavlan's gift.

It wasn't a harpsichord nor a hurdy-gurdy, but I still knew how to play it. The violin felt good in my hands, not the finest one I had ever handled but in this situation I wasn't complaining.

I brought it up to my chin and drew the bow across the strings; a very sour note droned out. Of course it would have been a good idea to see if the strings were tuned properly.

That took a little while, I'm not pitch perfect although I can get pretty damned close.

Once more I drew the bow across the strings, freeing the sweeter notes from the instrument. Something resonated deep within me and it wasn't just the vibrations of the violin, something that had been very much absent in my time in Drangleic.

Music.

Yes, I had sang a little but vocals are only a small part.

I lost myself in playing, so much so that I hadn't noticed Lucatiel sit down next to me.

Practically jumped out my skin when she tapped my shoulder.

"What's the matter, am I playing too loud?" I put the instrument down and turned myself to better see her.

The blonde shook her head and kicked at the dirt.

"I was finding it hard to sleep," She sighed, "I feel...I don't know. I'm sorry."

She was apologising to me...alright?

"Yes, I was starting to wonder about you. Thought maybe I had done something...maybe talking about that dream woman..."

Lucatiel gave me a blank look, "No, did you really think something so trivial would get to me?"

Yes.

"Though I think you were staring a little too hard at the scorpion."

"Well it isn't exactly my fault she had her breasts on full display and I do need to aim the thunder lance, so I really needed to get a good view of the target!" That came out a little more defensive than I had wanted.

"I know and I'm sorry about my attitude when we were with the Gyrm. Rest is fine, but I don't think we have the time to play around, I want to find the cure," She told me.

I placed my arm around her shoulder, "You're right, honey. The two 'lords' and I aren't going through what you are."

I hadn't though about it really. Lucatiel had died and come back, I don't know how may times, before I'd met her.

What was that like?

Horrific, I should imagine.

"We are going to find that cure," I reassured the blonde, "I'm not going to let you hollow."

Lucatiel pulled away from my arm.

"I don't think that's a promise you should make," She smiled weakly, "You might not be able to keep it."

But I could, I'm a god! Of course I could.

I created everything, what did the mortal before me know?

And this is why I don't like what I am.

We are more like you humans than you think...than I thought. I was so bloody cocksure of myself.

"We'll find the cure, honey. We'll break this whole damn cure, you and I...and the other two," I told her, not listening to her words.

The blonde sighed again, then smiled a little more.

"Are you perhaps truly smitten with me?"

Now way my turn to give her a blank look. As I have said, we had been getting closer but smitten seemed a little too strong a word.

It took me a little while to realise Lucatiel was only making light of the situation and moved closer again.

"Is it proper for a god to be smitten with a human and an undead one at that?" She mused, slipping her fingers through mine.

"You tell me. I could always become 'smitten' with a nice, _alive_ fire keeper, if that is the case."

The blonde didn't react.

"Shall I play a little more? Music is always better when it's shared."

Lucatiel nodded and gave me the space to pick the violin back up. The first piece I played for her was something I had picked up in a public house.

It's a folk piece and I, like with a lot of music, am quite fond of it.

 _By fire's light do swirl your dreams._

 _In amber glow,_

 _they dance to die._

 _Sweet lovers do in times like these,_

 _what lovers do with simple ease._

 _Pull thee close,_

 _and feel thine heart._

 _Proclaim our love_

 _and dance away this night.  
_

Those are supposedly the official lyrics that go with the violin piece, or they're the version I sing. There is the slightly ruder version we sing at sporting events, but that doesn't translate well from Erebayan.

The blonde seemed happy enough with the instrumental though.

Just after I finished the piece several undead warriors came through the gate leading to the Gyrm kingdom. A party had grown some collective balls and had decided to go after a lord's soul.

They didn't stop, but the leader nodded his head as he past.

"All the best to you lads," I whispered, "Soften the bastard up for us."

I started to play again, a quiet piece to induce a sense of calmness.

The blonde yawned and struggled to keep heavy eyes open.

"Come on, honey," I picked Lucatiel up, "We'll get you to a bed."

She made a rather cute noise as I scooped her up, but before I carried her back to one of the tents I had a look back into the cove.

Something large shifted in the murky dark; I only caught a glimpse of it and a singular spindly leg, was that the creature with the soul?

Only one look and I already had an idea of what that creature was.

Now I'm don't suffer from arachnophobia, but that fucker were big. You know, the kind of big fuckers that live under Australian shitters.

"What?" Lucatiel asked drowsily.

"Just something we're going to have to navigate around, honey. I hope you're not bothered by spiders," I grinned.

Unless you've faced down a Void-Spider you ain't allowed to complain.

The dandy knight told me that a silly insect didn't scare her; I did inform her that a spider was not an insect but an arachnid, she didn't care however.

In the unoccupied tent I place the blonde down, laying down with her.

"You're not going to get all pissy again if I hug you in my sleep, are you?" I asked.

She harrumphed and turned over.

I wrapped my arms around her anyway and tried my best to sleep.

That never did come; I was left awake and listening to the sounds coming from with in the cove.

The screams of the party that had passed us earlier and then the silence.


	10. Freja

Lucatiel slept peacefully that night, I did not.

With my arms wrapped the way they were around the blonde, they had gone numb. There was also the fact that every few minutes I would get a mouthful of hair.

Armour clanked outside the tent, one of the two 'lords' was up.

"Sir," The pursuer poked his head into the tent.

"Oh," He said as he looked at us.

"No!" I pointed a finger on my free hand at him, "Say anything about the position I'm in and I will kill you."

The brute grinned, "You can try, sir."

I roused the sleeping blonde and got my arm free.

Lucatiel looked around sleepily, yawned and then stared at me. A thin blush formed on her cheeks, remembering that I had laid down with her the night before.

Her eyes then wandered to Vixen, then back to me. Her blush disappeared.

"Get out."

I'd give the lady her privacy and grabbed what I had brought into the tent with me, then followed Vixen to the bonfire.

I looked into the cove now lit up by the sun. The titular brightstone was glinting and twinkling away. Maybe I would see the creature in the light.

"What were they doing in the cove, Vixen?" I sat down.

"Mining, sir. Vendrick sent duke Tseldora to oversee it," The pursuer rolled his neck, "One day the brightstone just stopped coming, but the war with the giants was a little more of a concern."

I had been meaning to ask about this war with the giants, but I wouldn't get my chance here.

Lucatiel joined us and whilst we waited for Ornstein, we planned.

Vixen told us that a church had been built into the side of the cliff, which we would need to traverse through.

"There was a party went through last night. I don't think they made it very far, judging by the screams," I told the brute.

"I didn't hear anything," Lucatiel looked at me.

"You were fast asleep, honey. Whatever got them though...I'm betting on the thing I saw before we went to bed."

What else was waiting for us, only one way to find out.

"And what was this thing?" Ornstein came by the fire, yawning and scratching his jaw.

"A giant-arse spider."

Vixen instantly tensed up; he wasn't scared of spiders, was he?

He was a seven-foot odd tall bloke in heavy plate armour, with a sword large than me. Spiders should be the least of his concern, instead hollows wielding spears which would actually pose a threat.

We hung around the bonfire for another five minutes before leaving.

The party that had gone down the night before had cleared quite a few hollows and set off the traps that had been waiting.

These hollows were getting clever and that didn't bode well.

Several of these traps hadn't been sprung; boulders had been set up to crush any unfortunate bugger that walked below them.

Fortunately for us though the hollows who would break the boulder's supports were dead.

There was one however that had been used, judging by the three crushed undead. A nasty way to go crushing.

It was crude, but it would get the job done.

Not that far from the boulder traps was the church Vixen spoke of.

It was seeming empty, still I was alarmed by the amount of weapons and miscellaneous bits of armour splayed out on the floor. Cobweb likewise littered the first room.

The smell of the room was acrid and through out was this chitinous clacking.

Vixen pulled his shield closer to his chest and I placed the slow match into the serpentine.

Ornstein looked around the room, "I don't see anything."

"Neither can I, but I can hear something in the walls. Whatever it is, there's a lot of them."

Vixen froze.

I looked him straight in the visor, "Calm yourself and keep moving."

I couldn't believe that I was the one telling him this, thought it would be the other way round. Ornstein also echoed my words to the pursuer.

Suddenly the chitinous clacking stopped and all fell silent. That was concerning.

We continued through into the next room and the next; more abandoned weapons and cobwebs.

In the corner of the room I spied a pair of legs being dragged into a hole, horror movie style.

Our dandy knight was closest to it, oblivious to the scene.

"Come back towards me please, Luca," I readied my weapon at the hole, just in case.

The pursuer froze again.

"You're fine Vixen, move!"

I was in half a mind to make him go back to the camp, if he was going to act like this.

The brute swallowed, "Yes sir, sorry."

He moved closer to Ornstein and the pair continued on.

The blonde stayed with me; the pair of us looking at the hole. Thicker cobwebs were placed round the edges.

"Spider hole and I think I'd rather not see the one that made it."

"Agreed," The blonde gripped my hand. Even she seemed a little jumpy.

The following room was joined by a tunnel carved in the hillside. The tunnel was alright, the connecting room however was pitch black, only the brief outline of the door was visible.

Vixen and Ornstein were stood motionless.

"Is it safe to move towards the exit?" Ornstein asked.

I told him yes and to walk slowly, wouldn't want them hurting themselves in the dark.

"There's nothing in this room that could harm us," I said, then looked up...I shouldn't have looked up.

Fifteen of the giant arachnids clung to the ceiling, death's heads on all of their abdomens.

My fingers tightened around Lucatiel's; several of the undead that had gone through last night were cocooned alongside their arachnid captors, still very much alive and moving.

"What is it?" Lucatiel went to look up.

"Nothing, let's just move a little quicker towards the door."

I doubt the blonde could have seen them and I'm happy she couldn't.

One of the spiders moved above me, then the whole room was filled with the horrid chitinous clacking.

"Now might be a good time to hurry up," I looked up again, "Just run to that door."

The blonde yelped as I dragged her across the room, also telling the other two to move in a hushed shout.

Ornstein got to the door first and flung it open, illuminating part of the room. I wish it hadn't.

The first of the spiders dropped on it's thread, followed by a second and a third.

I bolted with Lucatiel, throwing her at the door as we got closer and dived through myself.

"Close it! Close it!"

Myself and the dragon slayer held the door closed.

"Find something to bar it," The old man shouted at the other two.

Vixen disappeared further into the room, looking around frantically.

Meanwhile the spiders were trying to get in; every now and again a spindly leg would poke through a gap in the door.

Every time a leg would come through Lucatiel would swing her sword and the owner of the leg would squeal. I never knew a spider could do that.

The spiders seemed to grow more frantic, hammering against the door in a somewhat rhythmic fashion now.

"Move yourself, man!" I shouted at Vixen, slamming down the arquebus' butt onto a spider leg.

The brute came back to us with an old pew in his arms, which he jammed against the door.

The old thing didn't look like it would hold, so we didn't hang around.

We made sure that the following doors were also closed and barred behind us, getting back out wasn't our main concern.

The chitinous clacking was replaced with a hum and chanting.

A congregation of undead, as well as clerics, occupied the room.

One of the clerics wore the dried husk of a spider on it's head, like a pagan magus.

The bloody thing was a wytch too, tapping it's staff on the ground and creating glowing blue orbs of energy to use as projectiles.

I shifted the match, blew on it to remove some of the ash build up and fired. There was a very slight delay in the main charge igniting, but I hit the wytch in the chest, putting it on it's back.

The other three went off to deal with the congregation whilst I reloaded to deal with another of the clerics.

I was trying to get this thing loaded in haste, forgetting everything I had gone over in Majula.

When I poured the powder down the muzzle I was looking directly down it; there were still embers burning in the barrel.

What I had just poured in ignited and I got a face full of fire.

I couldn't see.

Everything was black and red and burning.

I was blind.

Panic flooded my mind; completely and utterly disoriented. The shock had floored me and I was grasping about wildly.

To remedy my blindness I could have gone naked, but that would have bled energy from me and my physical body will only heal when I'm wearing it.

But I was too busy panicking to think.

The howls and stench of the undead seemed even more intense.

I couldn't find my arquebus, so unsheathed my sword and madly swung at the dark, screaming.

This wasn't my warm, gentle dark that I had always known, but a cold and empty darkness.

I swung and I swung until my sword was parried and someone took my arm. It wasn't a gauntlet, I hoped it was Lucatiel.

"Oh gods, look at his eyes."

The dandy knight pried one of them open.

"Did I not tell you to be careful with that thing!" Ornstein said, sounding angry and concerned at the same time.

One of the most important things when it comes to firearms is respect. It doesn't matter which black powder or smokeless.

It should go without saying that they're dangerous, even more so if you don't handle them properly. I'm not going to use the excuse that the weapon was still 'new' to me, I knew what it could do.

This helped influence my ideas about training when it came to reforming the imperial military.

Our soldiers spend a year and a half doing drilling and theory before they even get to touch practice rifles.

We don't half-arse things.

Handle your weapons correctly. Don't be an idiot.

"Help me with him, lady Lucatiel."

I heard clattering, Vixen must have picked up my arquebus and sword.

The black was slowly fading, apparently my eyes didn't heal as quickly as the rest of my body.

I still couldn't see though.

Lucatiel had my hand and guided me out of the church.

I was put down by a bonfire close by and given back my equipment.

Shapes were appearing before me now, how long before my sight returned fully?

"We're going to go ahead, just a little way. Don't move."

"Oh, of course! Leave the blind man on his own," I grumbled, 'staring' at the tall, thin shape that I believed to be the dragon slayer.

"If I get eaten by a spider, Ornstein!"

The old man just sighed.

"We aren't going far, just scouting the area. We will be back in ten minutes," He grunted, "Try not to hurt yourself any further."

He said something to the others and walked off with them.

I could do little but twiddle my thumbs and think on my mistake.

Ten minutes came and went, my three companions did not return.

Had something happened to them?

My ears picked up something, someone coming back.

"Oh, what do we have here?"

It was a familiar voice and one that angered me, it dripped false concern.

"Do you remember, we met at cardinal some time ago."

The bastard Creighton was after...Pate, that was it.

He was close, very close. I could feel him inches from my face.

"Back off. I might not be able to see you, I'll still kill you," I warned him, pushing at the blurred shape before me.

I had pushed nothing but air.

The slimy prick chuckled, "I can't say I blame you for being cautious. I did tell you that there were some unsavoury characters around these parts."

He chuckled again and I grasped my arquebus, but the man wrenched it from my grip with ease.

"Now now, you don't need that. Whatever that is, though I think I will be taking the jewels and gold from it," His breathing got heavier, "Nothing too personal, but whatever trinkets you may have will be better in possession. You're not going to need them."

The man pulled something from his belt, a knife as I would find out as he slipped in between my ribs, several times.

I caught his hand, my sight now having cleared up enough to see more than block shapes. His blurred silhouette thrashed against my grip.

"My, you are a lively one," The man seemed amused, he then headbutt me. Bastard broke my nose.

In response I spat in his face...i think it was his face.

"Well that wasn't very polite. Now be a good fellow and die for m-" 

"You!" A second familiar voice shouted, "Found you."

Pate grunted in annoyance, "Oh, for goodness sake. Let's get this over with."

The two silhouettes clashed and after what that Pate had tried, I would at least try and help Creighton.

It was easy enough to tell who was who, my would be murderer holding a shield which he was using perfectly to defend against Creighton's axe.

I slowly got to my feet and took my plug-dagger, then made my way over.

Creighton blurred arms went high with his axe, which was stopped by Pate's shield and the man readied his spear for a counter attack.

Before he could stab Creighton, I jammed the dagger into the back of his neck, just below the helmet line.

The man jerked and dropped the spear.

"Be a good fellow and die," I whispered into his ear. With a sharp tug I removed the dagger, pulled his head back and jammed it into his throat. That ended his life.

I let the body crumple at my feet.  
"Thank you, friend," Creighton loosed a sinister laugh, "Serves him right."

The murderer from Mirrah crouched down and started to pat down the body, taking only a single ring.

I, meanwhile, blinked rapidly and waved my hand in front of my face. Definitely much better, I think to the point where I could possibly go looking for my companions.

However, when I looked at Creighton I still couldn't see him in detail.

"Maybe you should sit back down, friend. I'm not sure a man should still be standing after being knifed in the gut, as you were," He gestured to me.

I raised my shirt showing the man that I was fine.

"I didn't see you drink no estus, how come you ain't hurt?"

For the first time in a few months I had to explain who and what I was.

Creighton swallowed hard, "You've done me a great service, no matter what are."

With my sight still not being perfect, I asked the murderer if he would aid me in finding my lost companions.

"Of course, friend. Men like us help each other."

It took me a little while to even traverse the staircase leading down from the bonfire, true to his word Creighton helped.

From what I could see, there was a lot of sand.

A little further up we came into the cove proper.

Someone was standing across from where I had come out.

Squinting, I still couldn't make out who it was, so I called out.

The figure turned and raised a staff.

Creighton came up behind me, "Bloody hell, a mage."

It was then myself and him were yanked out of the open and into one of the surrounding houses.

"Didn't I tell you to stay put!" Ornstein yelled, "And of course your covered in blood."

The dragon slayer let go of me and looked down at Creighton, shaking his head.

"You, criminal, help me and the pursuer deal with the magic user," He then directed his gaze at Lucatiel, "You make sure he doesn't move until we do."

The three knights then left.

The blonde undead place a hand on my cheek, "How are your eyes?"

"Getting better, can't see your face properly though. However I can see enough to do this."

I kissed the tip of her nose lightly.

I wonder what kind of expression she pulled.

The blonde, in return to my little stunt, pinched my nose and snapped it back into place.

Not what I had been expecting, but at least she hadn't punched me.

She asked about what had happened, which I recounted and reminded her that the three of them had left me on my own and very much blind.

"We were going to come right back, but we ran into a little trouble."

I assumed she meant the mage.

Blinking again, the blonde before me came more into focus.

"At least it's your pretty face I'm to see first."

The blonde frowned, "I appreciate the compliment, but not now. Save that for after we have the next soul, von Bayer."

I gave her a smile.

Not a moment later, Vixen and Ornstein crashed back into the room.

Creighton was not with them.

"The magic user's dead, we can move," The dragon slayer said. When I asked about Creighton he grunted, "The criminal was caught by a basilisk."

Upon hearing that I felt a slight twinge in my chest. I never really got to know him, but he seemed like a half-decent fellow...murder aside.

Lucatiel made a comment on how no one would miss Creighton.

Maybe?

It was then Ornstein roughly took a hold of my face, tilting it upward.

"Your eyes look alright," He let go of my face, "Do not cause me problems!"

I nodded.

"We'll go slow. I'm sure there are more basilisks out there and the sand's giving way."

"At least there aren't any more spiders," Vixen chimed in.

Anyone would be able to tell you that that statement tempts fate.

"Come on then, von Bayer," Lucatiel took me by the wrist, "Until you can see me fully, I'll keep you safe. The two slabs of meat can do all the hard work."

Well that made more sense than leaving me on my own again.

Outside, we past what I can only guess as being what was left of Creighton, alongside a dead basilisk.

I managed to piece together enough of my surroundings to know what was what. There was a few cases that I did miss something and would have Lucatiel hook a hand round my waist, pulling me away from impending danger.

Eventually my sight was back to that of before my accident, however someone was not letting go of me.

"Luca, I'm alright now," I tried to free my wrist, but found her grip to be the likes of iron.

The blonde smirked, "You could be lying to me, von Bayer."

I started to point things out around us, very specific details that I obviously wouldn't be able to see, if I was still blind.

"Fine," She let go, "If you say you're OK."

With this newly found 'freedom' I reloaded my arquebus and struggled to get a match lit, not phased by the fact two hours earlier I had blinded myself with it.

Lucatiel pointed that out to me.

Ignored her, of course.

Whey, you all know I'm daft anyway.

I would handle the weapon with a lot more care though and I was going to need it.

We ran into one of the inhabitants of the cove, one of the miners.

Ornstein tried to communicate with the man, but something felt off.

My fresh eyes were able to figure out why very quickly.

"Look at it's mouth, Ornstein," I told him.

Ornstein back stepped and I swear Vixen cried out.

This miner was neither living or hollowed, but an empty suit.

The brute had spoked too soon when he said there weren't any more spiders, as one was using this miner's body as a host.

Two of it's legs burst from the back of the shoulders and it started to stumbled towards us.

I fired into it's chest and it fell on it's face.

The spider detached and tried clumsily to stand, only to collapse with part of it's abdomen shot away.

"It...it...it was...inside of..." Vixen didn't continue.

Marvellous.

Best to stay calm.

As the British would say, time to have a cup of tea.

I, however, would say time for the fucking flamethrowers. If only flamethrowers had been invented or the British for that matter, their cool and calm demeanour in times of crisis would be well needed.

What happened though was for myself, Ornstein and Lucatiel to tell Vixen to man up.

Now we knew what had happened to the people living in brightstone cove and we would find more. The spiders had lost most of their mobility, using the bodies as they were, making it very easy to just get behind them and kill them that way.

Each one dead brought us a little closer to our goal, which was a cathedral, a little like the church we passed through earlier.

One of the spider parasites jumped down from above; one rotten leg snapped as it hit the ground and it fell onto ragged lumps of brightstone that jutted from the earth.

"At least they're not too bright, eh Vixen?"

The brute was staring at the writhing mass impaled on brightstone.

"It isn't going to hurt you Vixen, it's dead."

"Yes sir," He sounded terrified.

The brute tore his gaze away and walked off, sticking close to Ornstein.

Lucatiel was also looking at the dead parasite.

She shivered, "I really wouldn't like one of those things in me."

"What about me?"

The blonde looked at me with a mixture of shock and disgust.

I rolled my eyes, "I pretty sure I can possess bodies when I'm not wearing this meat puppet. You have such filthy mind, Lucatiel. I thought better of you."

Turns out I can't do that, but I can still look into peoples minds. That isn't as fun as you might think.

"Sometimes I can't tell with you, von Bayer," She replied bluntly, "And even if you can, that's never happening."

It's like she thought that I would do something perverted.

"Alright I should have worded that better," I told her, "But we can argue more about that later."

The woman sighed and went inside the cathedral.

Like with the church, spiders clung to the ceiling with along with their squirming silk pods. I assume I don't need to explain how spiders eat…

We found it easiest to dispose of them when they were dropping, a quick jab with a spear or my plug dagger and they were dead.

Had that big one been real or was it just a figment of my imagination?

Down and down we continued, further into the depths of the cathedral, killing spiders left and right.

Vixen, it seemed, was blocking his fears and crushed one of the arachnids beneath his shield and split another in two with his sword.

Dealing with them individually was the best way, if they swarmed we might then have a problem.

The worst part was the main 'nest', before what I assume was the main chamber, where the only way to traverse was over bridges of web.

Even the thinnest parts of the web held with all our weight.

Impressive, but the web was really sticky and that was what slowed us down the most.

"Do you think they disturbed the spiders when mining?" I spoke aloud.

"Could be. Never seen this kind of spider before," Ornstein answered. He was trying to say something else as we came to the main chamber, though only managed a 'Gwyn protect!'

There wasn't a giant spider, but a stone dragon.

A web ran from it's mouth to the ground and twinkling away in it was a soul.

That seemed far to easy.

Suddenly I felt something rush past my leg, then another.

Spiders, seeming hundred, rushed into the room.

Everyone of the climbed the web, then in or over the stone dragons mouth. Then I heard it that chitinous clacking again, actually more like sound of stone slabs scraping against each other.

It dropped from above, the monster I had glimpsed in the dark.

I feared that Vixen would start to panic at the sight, but the brute was calm.

This was truly an arachnophobe's worst nightmare.

It was like two spiders had been glued together, then given something to grow.

This had to be where the other spiders had come from, this their mother.

I aimed and fired.

The ball bit into the spider's carapace, but did not breech it and only served to anger it. That and also draw it's attention towards me.

Eight horrid eye fell on me.

"Shite!"

The spider completely ignored the others and it scuttled off after me. It's surprisingly difficult to remove a plug-bayonet from you belt and fix it to your gun when running from a giant spider monster.

Somehow, I managed to get the dagger seated in the muzzle and turned to face my pursuer down.

It tried to catch me with it's front two legs, which I dodged and thrust the blade into one of the eyes. The spider squealed, but remained undeterred.

I was sort of buggered, whilst I could damage soft targets like the eyes, I couldn't damage the armour.

Luckily enough however I had two men with weapons that could.

Vixen cleaved one of the legs off at the joint.

The stump spurted a thick liquid on the ground, nasty.

"Keep going for the legs!" I shouted, hoping both 'lords' would be able to deal with them. Now, myself and Lucatiel wouldn't be doing nothing as more parasite spiders had appeared.

We kept back to back and hacked away at the arachnids.

Stab one, crush another, all went down the same.

I don't remember when about, but I spied a peculiar thing appear on the mother spiders face. I began glowing with some form of energy.

It was looking right at us.

Magic…

In a split second I had knocked back an assaulting spider and dragged Lucatiel to the floor, coving her.

A beam of blinding light shot forth killing a few surrounding spiders, including one that had sank it's fangs into my back.

Immediately we we back on our feet and fighting.

What was wrong with the bloody place, undead curses, giant two-headed spiders that could use magic etc.

More spiders dropped from some hiding space above, as well as flooding through the door.

I gave up using the plug dagger and went wild with the arquebus' butt, splitting carapaces left and right.

Vixen and Ornstein had also found their rhythm dealing with the mother spider.

The pursuer would take off a leg and when the creature reeled, Ornstein would rush underneath and deliver a blow to the abdomen. That spear, designed for killing dragons, work well on a giant spider's armour too.

It had slowed considerably, staggering around on it's remaining legs drunkenly.

Vixen took another leg and the creature could no longer support it's own weight, crashing down.

The spider tried it's best to turn, only to hiss and squeal when it couldn't.

Ornstein delivered the finishing blow, at which point the other spiders ran.

I looked to everyone panting, "Well, that was fun."

My back throbbed where the spider had bit, the punctures had healed but the venom still not having worked it's was out my system left a dull burning.

A hardy swig of ale was what I needed.

I swallowed and turned towards the pursuer, "Everything OK, Vix?"

"Can we please not stay in this place much longer," He was rigid.

The man's still shit scared of spiders to this day.

I had Ornstein retrieve the soul tangled in the web and back up we went, this time not harassed by spiders.

I thought it strange when Ornstein stabbed straight into the ground, but when he pulled it out his spear covered in blood I understood.

The dragon slayer killed a basilisk buried in the sand.

Our return trip through the church was just as uneventful. A few dead spider were curled up in the room we had blocked off. Most likely killed by Creighton or Pate on their way down.

The camp eventually came into view, it was a welcome sight.

The violin, Gavlan had gifted me, was still where I had left it.

There was at least some some semblance of safety around the camp, for whatever reason.

First thing I did was locate the stream close by and fill the pot I'd nicked from Majula. That then went over the flames and I started to clean my weapon.

It was sort of becoming therapeutic, striping the lock, cleaning the barrel etc.

Lucatiel sat next to me also cleaning her equipment.

We did so in silence, with the only sounds being the crackling fire and the two 'lords' conversing.

"Do we stay here tonight or do we try and make it back through the Gyrm kingdom?" I asked aloud, sliding the scouring stick back under the barrel.

"I wouldn't mind taking the Gyrm's offer of hospitality after…," Vixen motioned to the cove below.

Ornstein sniffed, "I'll admit, I would like to get drunk."

I believe, dear reader, you know what my answer would be.

That left only one.

I smiled sweetly at the blonde undead, she raised an eyebrow in return.

Lucatiel shrugged half heartedly, "I have no problem now we have the third soul."

Not going to lie, though she might have put up some form of a fight.

And so, the four of us left 'Australia' behind.

Myself and the blonde walked hand in hand, which was sort of nice.

Vixen was still on edge, glancing at every crevice expecting giant spiders to start crawling out.

I don't blame him.

Good for him that there were no spiders; I don't think they ventured much beyond their nests in brightstone.

Good for all of us really.

A Gyrm guard greeted us and guided us to Gavlan.

There wasn't a congregation of Gyrm this time, only Gavlan waiting. Though judging by the sounds of merriment in the background, he wasn't really on his own.

He embraced me, "Friend, welcome back. You stay?"

"Yes, my dear Gavlan. We shall stay for this night."

The Gyrm laughed.

Almost immediately we were all given tankards, well I got two cos' Lucatiel didn't want hers. We were also given 'mystery' meat and only meat.

I'm not sure if the Gyrm knew what vegetables were, but like with the jocks they only need a diet of meat and strong drink to live.

The two tankards were enough for me, even though Gavlan tried his best to get me to drink more.

I thought I'd show a little restraint seeing as Lucatiel wasn't drinking and I know how fun it is to be the only one not on the lash.

She was stood watching the festivities.

"You know, it's far more fun if you join in," I wrapped my arms round her middle, "How about we dance?"

"No thank you," She twisted to face me, "I'm quite happy doing nothing."

"Then how about some music for the lady?" Removing my arms, I grabbed the violin hanging from my hip. I didn't wait for an answer and started to play, stopped to retune and started to play again.

The blonde started to laugh, which was a beautiful sound all to itself.

"Truly am I in the presence of a master musician," She joked, smiling happily.

"If that's how you're going to be..."

I then started to hit wrong note after wrong note, creating a progressive-atonal masterpiece that we in the business refer to as jazz.

Remember, you never make mistakes in music, you're just playing jazz.

"Only you could play such sweet music to make the ears bleed, von Bayer," The blonde quipped sarcastically.

"In that case I'll just have to play something awful for you."

I started to play to only piece I hadn't learned in public houses, a violin piece that only highly respected musicians played I.E. not me.

When I finished, I found that many of the Gyrm along with the two 'lords' had stopped and were looking over.

They all soon went back to their drinking.

The blonde was still smiling.

"Finally you've found something you won't accidentally kill us or hurt yourself with."

That little comment started something deep within me, killing someone with music. A thought ever so perverse, I don't think I can describe the feeling it gives me.  
130 billion years I've been trying to find a way to do so and I may have finally cracked it.

Musical weaponry, how gorgeous!

"Oh well, no more music for the lady then," I smirked, "Seeing as she was so unappreciative of my talents."

Her lips curled, "You were just wanting to show off, weren't you?"

"Me? Show off? Don't know what you're talking about," I feigned hurt, "I just like playing music and you looked bored."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "How considerate of you."

I hung the violin and bow back on my hip, and once again returned behind her with my arms around her midriff.

"At least your having a little fun, my dear, darling Lucatiel," I pulled her closer, "You told me that you didn't think we had the time to do something like this, but we all need it."

The blonde undead nodded, "I may have to agree with you, but I can't help but think you're using this occasion for your own gains."

She placed her hands over mine.

"I'm an opportunist. If I see a chance, I'll take it."

In my defence Lucatiel did say that I could flirt after getting the soul, which we had done, thus I was going to flirt.

The blonde leant back into me, "I'll allow it for now."

I rested my chin on her shoulder, watching the Gyrm start to dance around a great fire they had started.

"How do you tell the men and women apart?" Lucatiel asked.

"Don't know," I replied quietly, "Perhaps that one dragging Vixen round is female."

Honestly, it was really amusing watching the brute being pulled around the fire by this small Gyrm.

I asked her again if she was sure she didn't want to join in and again she refused.

"Alright-" I was silenced by my stomach growling. I wasn't really wanting to eat the mystery meat we had been given and had discreetly disposed of it.

I know I've said I'm not picky when it comes to food, but whatever the Gyrm had slaughtered just wasn't giving me an appetite.

Instead I chewed on a lump of hardtack.

Normally I wouldn't even soak the biscuit. Hell, I don't normally even try and knock the weevils out, that's where the protein and flavour are.

We sat down and I dipped the hardtack into a tankard of ale, letting it absorb all that alcoholic wonder.

Lucatiel stole some when I looked away and acted all innocent when I asked her where half my food went.

"What?" She batted her eyelashes a few time.

I frowned and brushed a crumb from the corner of her mouth, "What indeed! You have you're own bloody food."

Typical bloody woman.

I tutted, "I'm adding stealing food to your list of crimes against me."

Lucatiel silenced me with a hand placed over my mouth.

"Shut up," She took another bit of my ale soaked hardtack and ate it.

" _I'm afraid that won't shut me up, honey. You've made physical contact with me, now I'm in your head_ ," The blonde tightened her grip round my mouth, " _Really honey, that's not going to work._ _Luca, the longer you keep you_ _r_ _grip, the longer I get to search._ _I'm pretty sure there's stuff in here you don't want me of all people seeing_."

Upon saying that she let go, blushing fiercely.

"Thought so and no, I wouldn't have looked," My arm went round her waist, "I'm not that nasty."

She was pouting, "Shut up!"

"I will after this."

My free hand went to her chin, which I raised and then to the sounds of merriment I kissed her.

It wasn't a deep, passionate kiss, but a kiss is a kiss all the same.

"I couldn't be bothered to wait until we broke the curse."

Lucatiel stared, "I am painfully aware of that, von Bayer. You kissed my nose earlier, if you remember."

"I did, yes."

The blonde exhaled through her nose and frowned.

The frown the softened into a smile, which in turn morphed into a grin, "Warn me next time."

"Yes honey."

She kissed me this time, it was also a gentle kiss.

When Lucatiel broke off, she brought her lips to my ear and whispered, "Shut up for a little bit."

My jaw was seemingly wired shut.

The blonde then rested her head on my shoulder, nuzzled her cheek against the crook of my neck.

"You're much nicer when you're quiet," She said sleepily and soon drifted off.

I tried my best to join her, though got no-where.

Instead I watch the festivities go on and on and on.

The Gyrm and two 'lords' eventually stopped when the light died and there was no more beer to consume.

Goodness, Ornstein couldn't walk and was having to use an equally inebriated Vixen to stay on his feet, he failed, quite amusingly so.

They were both going to be when they woke.

Maybe only having those two tankards and whatever had soaked into the tack was a bad thing.

No, it wasn't a bad thing at all.


	11. Rot

**Here we go with another part.  
I struggled with writing this one, probably as to why it's 2000 words longer than the others and you'll probably be able to figure out which bits.  
If you can, please do leave any feedback so I can make corrections etc.  
As always I don't own the rights to the souls series etc.  
Do hope you enjoy this mess and I'll catch you next time.**

* * *

You know, it's rather boring when you're the only one not sleeping or passed out in an alcoholic stupor.

I did get time to admire the stunning architecture of the Gyrm kingdom though. Takes a lot of hard work to carve an entire city out of rock.

Master masons, as well as master brewers.

Thinking on the latter, I remembered my canteen which had been refilled again...that Gavlan, knew how to keep me happy.

Being mindful not to disturb the sleeping blonde, I took a drink of that special brew.  
 _I love you, yes I do_ _and I know that you love me too.  
_  
I may or may not have started nutty marching after writing that, but that is one of the many risks that go with Ska. It's a dangerous, dangerous form of music.  
Not even we gods are safe.

Once you go _one step beyond_ there is no going back.

Enough of that madness, bad manners to keep talking about really. Need to find the selector switch in my brain that makes me go on these tangents.

Alright...I'll stop milking it.

A few Gyrm were swanning about, clearing up after the nights festivities and they had one hell of a task ahead of them.

Some hours later Lucatiel woke.

She complained of being cold, thus I wrapped her in an embrace.

"Did you sleep well, honey?"

Her response was mumbled into the fabric of my shirt's collar.

I feared she might fall asleep again.

The blonde employed the same 'I'm comfy' excuse she had utilised in Majula, but as you know dear reader, that don't fly with me.

Taking her by the waist, I pushed her away and then brushed a stray stand of hair away from her face.

"I'm going to wake the two drunks and you, well, you can do what ever you women do in the mornings. Want to be on our way within the hour."

I parted Lucatiel's fringe and kissed her forehead, then with a grin grabbed my violin.

Waking those who have been heavily drinking with music has always amused me. Myself and my fellow officers do something similar today.

You'd think it would be trumpets and drums, but no. Last time we did it I had my 61 epiphone sg wire up to three amps, with an overdrive and wah wah peddle. We go out of our way to be pricks.

I'm pretty sure you're clever enough, dear reader, to figure out what happened.

Same thing goes for what happened with waking Ornstein and Vixen, with my violin.

The dragon slayer weren't happy.

"Stop with that infernal racket or I will ram that fucking thing down your throat."

I continued to play regardless of the threat.

Ornstein groaned, "I'll get up."

One walking dead up, one to go.

I ran into a problem with Vixen, no matter how loudly I played or how much _jazz_ I played, he would not get up.

He wasn't dead, judging by the grunts and groans, very much like a teenager really.

"Vixen. Oh Vixen! Wake up," I slapped his cheeks a few times.

His eyes sprung open, bloodshot.

"Oh gods," His hand went to his mouth.

The brute rolled over and emptied his stomach.

"Kill me!" Vixen croaked.

"Don't tell me you're hungover. Neither of you drank that much last night," I joked, knowing full well how much they drank.

"The pair of you have an hour. Let's not overstay our welcome."

The two put forth arguments as to why what I wanted was wrong.

As I tell my children, I'm never wrong...sometimes I'm never wrong…alright, I'm wrong quite a lot.

Not this time though.

"Fresh air is good for a hangover, so the quicker we get out of here, the quicker you can have some."

I'm not actually sure if fresh air actually does anything, the real solution to a hangover as I will keep telling you is bacon grease. Lots and lots of bacon grease.

I left the pair and returned to the blonde, who was looking prim and proper.

"How are they?" She smiled, "I'm glad I didn't drink myself."

"Ill," I told her, "I should really be over there dying with them, but I'm happy I'm not."

My decision the night prior had been right, I regret that I didn't drink, but I got to flirt with the dandy knight of Mirrah, which is a good thing?

My fingers found their way between hers, which she momentarily pulled away commenting on the state of my hands.

My hands were covered in powder fouling, cos' black powder, no matter how it's made, is filthy stuff when fired. I'm surprised she had only noticed now.

My hands were black just from handling and cleaning the weapon. The stuff stains something fierce and without access to good soap, a little difficult to get off.

Black powder weapons are horrible, but I love them all the same.

This was the future and it was dirty as fuck.

The blonde did return her fingers to mine, after I promised to clean my hands thoroughly. As clean as I could get them.

We spent the best part of the hour chatting shit, waiting for the two 'lords'.

I'll admit that there was some more kissing involved and it was very good kissing...not that it compares to the wife. Love you Zo, if you're reading this.

Myself and Lucatiel straightened ourselves out as the 'lords' got to us and we set about saying our farewells.

"You welcome always, friend," Gavlan said, as he handed me three skins of ale.

I was finding it hard to hang anything else off my body at this point, but free drink is free drink. Not going to turn that down.

"You come back. You drink. You have fun."

"Of course I will, my friend," I smiled, "As long as you keep the ale flowing for me."

The Gyrm flung his head back and laughed.

"Always, friend."

We left the kingdom of the Gyrm, another guard leading us back out to the scorpion ladies chamber. From there we made it back to Majula without incident.

We hadn't been gone a week.

So much for the 4 days to the cove and 4 days back.

More undead were now settled around the village; the herald was looking a little distressed. Had things turned for the worse in the several days we had been gone.

"They're not leaving and I don't know what to do with them all. One crestfallen knight was enough, but I cannot sustain them," She clutched Shalquoir to her breast, "There was a party that left not long after you. What happened to them?"

"Dead, everyone of them."

I told her about what we faced, the monstrous arachnids. Shanalotte in turn looked at the built up numbers of undead.

"You have the soul though?"

I nodded and the dragon slayer handed it over.

"Don't mention anything to these undead, it wouldn't do them any good to know."

Again I nodded.

I didn't exactly think it right. Sugar coated shit is still shit after all, but mass hysteria is generally not wanted. I'll lie when I feel I have to.

"I would also ask that you don't stay and continue for the next soul."

"Which is where exactly?"

"Down that hole in the centre of the village," The cat answered, "And fortunately for you a ladder-smith appeared a day or two ago."

I was also told that the young knight, whose nose I'd broken, had gone down with a few others. Did they have much hope?

There was a chance.

We did our best to gather what equipment and food we would need; I refilled my apostles and left my violin with Lenigrast, as I didn't believe I would need it in the refuse pit.

I would have preferred a few days, Ornstein mirrored the sentiment, but the herald seemed desperate.

Lucatiel's words to me at the camp also came back, we needed to find the cure.

The hole itself was slap-bang in the middle of the village, a place to throw rubbish or waste.

This wasn't going to nice. The place already stunk to high heaven, not that there could be anywhere worse than harvest valley.

The four of us looked down into the pit, wondering how we were going to get down. I didn't trust the ladders Gilligan had made.  
They might hold the weight of myself and the blonde undead, but not the two 'lords' in all their armour.

"There's good rope around here, you can lower us down," Ornstein pointed to a coil on the floor, "Get some of these undead to help you."

That we did, with the dragon slayer going first.

Quite frankly, I didn't need the aid of the others and I did end up taking most of the weight for both men.

Then it was time for myself and Lucatiel to descend.

It was quite the long way down and it was getting warmer with each step.

The quality of the ladder was also brought into concern, as I put my foot through one of the rungs.

"Can anyone in Majula, other than Lenigrast, produce anything of a high standard?" I asked the blonde, "And watch your step. Don't want you falling...on me."

She laughed, "I think falling on you would be the least of my concerns. Though if I do, I will do my best to take you with me."

"Yes dear," My foot hit solid ground, there was a slight problem however. The two 'lords' were a good several levels below us.

I asked if they could wait for us, which they would. Safety in numbers and all that jazz.

Myself and Lucatiel would have to navigate through catacombs and gutters.

That wasn't too difficult, a few large rats yes, but we'd come across worse.

One talked and I promptly stabbed it, brutally, multiple times.

I'm fine with a cat talking but rats…

"Filthy thing," I sneered at the dead rodent, "Thinking it could talk to me like that. Kneel before a rat, fuck off. Might not have many standards, but I ain't doing that."

I spat at the corpse and took a few of the golden rings that were around it, Gavlan would probably taken them off my hands for a good price.

"Do you not think that's a bit overkill?" Lucatiel asked.

"No, would you kneel before a rat?" I shot back.

"Of course not," She looked at the dead rodent, then back to me, "Would you kneel before me?"

"Depends on why I'm kneeling," Cue a cocked eyebrow and suggestive smile.

The blonde folded her arms, "Not whatever you have in mind, you deviant."

If she was thinking the same, then Lucatiel had just a dirty mind as my own and can you blame me for having dirty thoughts. Hadn't had a single bit of slap and tickle in the time I was in Drangleic…

"Break the curse and-"

"Maybe I'll think about it," I mimicked, "I know. Back home I just need to snap my fingers and women seemingly pour out the walls for me."

The blonde gave me an annoyed look, "Two things about that sentence. One, you're not at home. Two, I am not some cheap whore, von Bayer."

"Neither were the women I spoke of."

Not once have I slept with a courtesan, a few unfaithful wives of certain courtiers, but not a single whore.

"You couldn't afford me anyway," She smirked, "Not even with all the money in your empire."

"What about a simple ring?" I teased.

Lucatiel placed her fingers on her chin, humming and harring, "Never thought I would be proposed to in a gutter."

I've been proposed to in worse.

She continued to hum and har, "No. All that tells me is you really are smitten with me, obsessively so."

Lucatiel sauntered over and placed a hand on my chest.

"It's all too soon for that sort of thing anyway," She breathed into my ear, "So keep it in your pants, OK? At least until we're back in Majula."

The blonde then proceeded to peck me on the lips.

"Yes," My free arm looped around her waist, "I'll keep that in mind. I'll keep you in mind too."

And kissed her back.

"For the love of Gwyn! We were trying to be polite, get your arses out here now and stop your bloody flirting," Ornstein yelled.

A smile tugged at my lips, that rolled into laughter as I looked back at the blonde.

"Goodness gracious, I'm awful aren't I?"

The blonde nodded, "Completely, truly and utterly."

"Shall we continue when we're back in Majula?"

"Yes."

"Now!" The dragon slayer shouted louder.

I bit my lip and let go of Lucatiel, "Let's not keep 'dad' waiting."

So, it was about face and a quick march to the waiting 'lords'; Ornstein looked quite displeased, with me more that Lucatiel.

The old man made a growling noise in his throat, "Let's move."

We followed the 'lords' into the entrance of the main gutter; great structures had been built out of salvaged timber and rope, with sconces burning on each level.

Naked hollows lay dead all around.

"Well, this party's had more luck than the fellows at brightstone."

"No spiders, hopefully," Vixen added.

I could only shake my head at him, then spied something scuttling in the dark. I scooped it up in my free hand and thrust it in Vixen's face.

"You mean like this one?"

The brute recoiled with a scream.

"Goodness Vixen, it's a tiny thing. Harmless."

The spider then sank it's fangs into the palm of my hand.

"Little fucker," I crushed it and wiped the remainder on Lucatiel's jerkin; she never noticed.

"A tiny thing, harmless," The brute dead-panned, "Bollocks to that, sir."

The brute swore!

Fuck me bloody and call me Suzy.

Until then I hadn't thought it possible Vixen Kellantine could swear, I was wrong.

"This is like the slums at the base of Anor Londo, without all the shit of course, still plenty of hollows though," Ornstein grumbled.

"Yes, but they're dead hollows," I said, looking over my shoulder, "And judging from the smell coming from below, we've still got shit to wade through. That or it's Lucatiel."

I looked back to the blonde in front, smiling sweetly.

"You know how we talked about you being more attractive when you keep your mouth shut and also you growing up?" She continued on, unamused.

"Yes, my love. I remember it perfectly."

She stopped and turned, "Shut up, von Bayer."

I conveyed another 'yes, my love' through interpretive dance. By this I mean I blew a kiss and was cuffed round the back of the head by Ornstein for _flirting_ again.

I had another look around the slums, there were statues littering the place. All smashed and oozing a thick green sludge.

An odd thing, I think you'll agree.

Picking up one of the statue 'head', I found that they sort of looked like the herald. My attention was then drawn elsewhere.

"A Heide knight," Vixen pointed, "How did he make it down here?"

Why would I know?

I watched the old knight follow us with his helm; it looked slow and painful.

It was then and there I decided to put him out of his misery.

The ball struck the knight's gut and when he tried to stand, tripped. The Heide knight tumbled head over heel into whatever waited below.

If we came across another one, I was taking the armour.

Lenigrast was an impressive smith, I know he would be able to make a copy of it for me. Something that would actually fit me and be practical.

Whether or not I would actually use it as practical armour or whether it was just for the sake of owning some Heide-like armour, I don't know.

But did I really need that kind of armour with my newly discovered profession of gunner?

Anyhoo, down and down we went into the bowels of the earth.

It was warm and humid, and everything had an ominous green glow to it.

"Look, I know I'm the god and I should probably know, but can you tell me something," I said peering over the edge, "Is this hell?"

"No!" Ornstein gave me the blunt answer, "Just a cave."

Oh well! The hell that exists now isn't like that blackened gulch.

Pandemonium is a gorgeous city; Lucifer did a really good job with building it from the dirt...with a little help from his dear uncle that is.

And yes, it does in fact snow in hell.

"Help me!" An undead cried ahead of us, "They're in the ground."

Vixen looked to Ornstein.

Whatever they felt under the soil, I felt double.

"Help me!" The undead sobbed, "I don't want this. I don't want this."

He continued to mumble to himself.

"Advance slowly and as lightly as you can towards the undead," I said, "It's not spiders Vixen, it's not the same sound."

What monster were we to face this time?

"Help." The undead now moaned, unable to cry any more.

From the tar pit behind him a large worm burst and snatched the undead away.

I thought that was the end off it, but an even larger superworm grub crashed through the rock and dragged both worm and undead into the wall.

"What the fuck is wrong with this place?" I asked no-one in particular, "The divines better get off their collective arses and find me!"

It was getting ridiculous.

On we marched, finding more tar pits.

These ones were ablaze; someone ahead was being clever, but that wasn't stopping the cries for help.

"Let's go help them."

At the archway leading to the screaming, one of the hollows was thrown through. At least part of him was.

In we rushed into the Rotten's den.

A 'living' creature made of corpses, a cage around the head and in one of it's stubby arms, a cleaver.

"Nito," Ornstein whispered.

The mass of corpses neck twisted with a crack and was staring at us.

Vixen had his shield at the ready, with Ornstein behind it and a spear at the ready.

"Can you get the undead out, sir?"

I nodded.

The first two were the easiest, as they were still on their feet.

The other five were either wounded or in shock.

I threatened one of the standing undead, "Help us with your comrades or I'll throw you to that thing!"

He didn't speak and did as I asked.

The second also doing the same.

Within minutes we had four of the downed undead outside the Rotten's den.

Lucatiel went back for the fifth.

The man groaned in pain as the blonde undead dragged him towards safety.

The Rotten noticed; forgetting about the two 'lords', it made a beeline towards the pair of undead.

I watched on as the monster brought it's cleaver down, bisecting the hollow and lodging the blade in the ground.

It struggled to remove it and simply backhanded the blonde violently.

Lucatiel was knocked some distance, landing sharply and rolled through several small burning tar pits.

The animated pile of corpses then turned it's attention back to the 'lords'.

I dropped the undead in my arms, running straight to her. My heart thumping frantically, telling myself over and over that she was alright.

"Creature, we need your weapon!" The dragon slayer yelled.

I was torn between helping the blonde and helping the 'lords'; she wasn't moving and it was scaring me.

I took a breath and fixed the slow match to the serpentine.

"I don't think firing into that is going to do much damage," I checked the lock.

"Not the body, the shoulder. The corpse on the shoulder is the one controlling the rest," The dragon slayer pointed and it was indeed true.

It's movement was sporadic; could I hit it?

Dropping to my knee, I rested my left elbow on it and steadied the weapon for a better shot.

My chance came and the arquebus bucked in my grip.

The corpse on the Rotten's shoulder snapped back, as did the rotten itself.

The mass then crumbled, falling partly into one of the larger tar pits and burnt away to ash.

My mind returned then to the blonde.

I rushed over and looked her over.

Lucatiel was breathing, but she looked a little worse for wear.

Her arm was broken as well as several ribs, from what I can remember. A collapsed lung I could hear as well and to top it off, probably lots of internal haemorrhaging.

Lucky for her all undead seemed to carry a miracle cure.

With my help, she raised her estus flask to her lips and drank deeply.

It seemed that the decay had grown larger.

"Don't just stand gawking at an enemy because they will take advantage of it," I repeated the words Ornstein had used in the Iron keep, cradling her head in my hand.

"I was trying to get my sword free, but I wasn't quick enough."

I shook my head, "You should have just ran. Especially when we're closer to breaking this bloody curse. You're not allowed to go hollow before that, you know."

She smirked, "Now I'm definitely convinced you're smitten with me."

"Who? Me? Emperor's do not get smitten over silly little girls pretending to be knights."

The blonde exhaled through her nose and pushed herself up.

"It's a good thing I'm neither."

Behind us Ornstein cleared his throat, "Are you quite done?"

The old man raised his visor and glanced over to Vixen, "They're going to flirt regardless of what I say, aren't they?"

He groaned, "Don't come crying to me if you catch something, creature."

"It could fall off. Can you catch rot from an undead, sir Ornstein?" Vixen asked with a grin.

"I wouldn't know pursuer, I have never once desired to copulate with an undead," The old man pocketed the souls in his grasp, "I have only ever had eyes for the lady Gwynervere, even though she spent most her time on her back...then ran off with a damned flame god."

The dragon slayer went silent.

"I really don't think it's either of your places to say who and who I am not attracted to, and who said anything about intercourse," I looked to Lucatiel, "Not us?"

The blonde looked at all three of us, "Shut up all of you, just stay quite."

At least it wasn't just me this time.

The dragon slayer's lips twisted and grunted, he really didn't appreciate Lucatiel telling him what to do.

She ignored him and he, as well as Vixen, turned away.

"Are you sure you're alright? Still don't know what estus does."

"I'm fine," Her hand brushed against mine, "A little headache is all I have."

"Smoking is good for bad heads," I told her, my medical knowledge not being what it is now, "If only I had some leaf left."

"Fresh air is most likely going to do me good, not whatever rubbish you put into your body. Let's not hang about."

I would very much liked to have done that, but from seemingly no-where the young knight appeared; running and out of breath.

In his hand a rusted crown, covering in grime.

His armour was scorched black; had he taken a tumbled through some flames?

"Where the hell did you come from?"

The young knight gently removed his barbute, "A sunken city...not that it concerns you, although the crown you had...it matters not."

What would he want with a lump of iron like that?

The knight started looking round the cavern, to the cage of the Rotten and then the bisected undead.

"You didn't, perhaps, use those men so you could slip through and plunder?" I picked up my arquebus and started to fiddle with the lock.

The knight snorted, "You have no right to question someone like me, you damned pissant."

The young undead unsheathed his sword and found the muzzle of my weapon in his face, not that he knew it was unloaded.

"This thing does nasty stuff to a body; the ball flattens and smashes it's way through you, blows a hole the size of a fist out the other side. What do you think, my love," My eyes briefly flicked to Lucatiel, "A hole in his face would improve that horrid broken nose?"

I opened the pan cover and fixed the match, then slowly squeezed the lever.

"Bang!" I yelled and the man tripped over his own legs.

Did I leave him like that?

No, I gave him a good solid kick to the head and called him a coward.

Lucatiel grabbed my hand and dragged me away before I could get another kick in.

As we left the Rotten's chamber she looked at me, "Thug! Just because he used the men in his party didn't mean you had to do that."

"I couldn't care less about those undead...just felt like hurting him," I admitted, not meeting her gaze.

The blonde looked at me with disbelief in her eyes; she was going to scold me, but let my hand go and silently walked off.

The look Vixen gave told me he would make sure she got back up top alright.

"I want a word," The dragon slayer said bluntly.

"If you're going to complain, don't. I was flirting with women like her well before you were squirted into your mother's cunt, and I will do after you're dust."

"I don't care with who you flirt or how long you've done it, nor do I care what you gods consider proper," His visor was opened, "You're playing a dangerous game."

A sigh left my lips.

"Can you not just give it a bloody rest!" I snapped, "I know you don't like it, but you don't get a bloody say."

Near instantly I found myself up against a wall, pinned by one of Ornstein's hands.

"That girl's going to go hollow and you know it."

I feebly protested against the notion, telling him we could find the cure.

"Shut up!" He shouted, "There is no cure, it just goes on and on and on. My lord Gwyn couldn't stop it, chosen undead couldn't stop it. You won't stop it."

The dragon slayer's grip loosened and I fell.

"Stop thinking with that," He pointed to my crotch, "and think with your head. You might have to put her down, could you do that?"

I knew that was a possibility and I was just lying to myself saying otherwise, that's not a healthy thing to do. As you already know, dear reader, we are similar to you mentally. This kind of shit ain't fun.

To answer Ornstein's question, I found words hard to form and just nodded weakly.

"The pursuer will likely tell you the same and I'm not saying this to be horrid, but this kind of thing you leave 'til after, not during."

The old man said little else on the matter, he didn't need to.

I might no be that clever, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. A brain operating on lust is just as dulled as if it were on opium.

"What about distracting her from the inevitable?" I asked, Ornstein's words setting in. Something was eating away at my non-existent guts, was it guilt?

"The girl knows it too, you would be wasting your time and hers."

The man was right, I couldn't argue.

Instead, I bowed my head and mutter, "Yes sir. Though until _that_ happens I am going to continue as I was dragon slayer. The consequences be damned."

"On your head be it," He warned, then in a softer tone, "Now back to Majula and we can get some food, and worry about what comes next."

The old man dropped the whole subject of myself and the blonde undead, instead we talked about improving my combat skills. This then turned to my arquebus.

He seemed quite interested in it, even though it had nearly killed him a week or so prior.

"Have you thought about using these thunder lances en masse, in a practical sense? Firing it leaves you exposed. If you think about it on a battlefield, cavalry would exploit that opening. How would you defend against that?" He asked.

It seemed Ornstein was trying to get my brain engaged in practical theory.

"A shield wall maybe. Men carrying great shields can defend the thunder lancers."

Ornstein hummed, "A good cavalry will break a shield wall, that and for you to use that thing you would need to expose yourself. If it were a bow you could volley over the shields, but that thing can't."

With no shields there would only be spears to protect gunners.

"A phalanx of pikemen with thunder lancers mixed in, or on the wings. The pikes could be extended to say 14 or 16 feet, no sane horse would charge that. The threat of the pikes becomes the shield, leaving space for thunder lancers to fire," I put forth, "Give them basic armour. Breast plate, backplate, tassets, a good helmet...erm, a sallet or morion. I'd go with the latter for visibility and now the pikemen are safe from enemy projectiles."

The dragon slayer considered my thoughts.

"Seems reasonable, if at all possible," He agreed with the hypothetical form of _modern_ warfare. You humans may recognise this as pike and shot; like the Spanish tercio or Dutch formations as set by Maurice of Orange.

"Let's say this can be done and let's say there are other peoples out there with the same weapons and ideas, how do you counter them?"

"Assuming that the enemy doesn't rout and the thunder lancers do not make a big enough impact, I suppose the two phalanxes would clash until one breaks. You push your pikes as hard as you can." The concept sounds much easier in theory but push of pike, like most forms of warfare, isn't pretty.

"The cavalry could also be sent in if the phalanxes are locked together, but then you run into the problem of hitting your own men."

The actual solution to mass formations of pikemen is cannon, but the concept of artillery was yet unknown to me. However this discussion was just theory, neither of us expected this to actually be a thing.

"When you use your head you actually come out with some clever things," I think he complimented me, "Hopefully, we won't see the end of the knight for awhile though. You are the only one with a thunder lance after all."

Perhaps the age of the knight would last, perhaps it wouldn't.

This talk had gotten me thinking though, how far would warfare evolve. Now, I never imagined what it would become, that has been a shock.

We continued to talk about combat both theoretical and practical, and how I could improve until we reached the pit entrance.

"Shanalotte," I yelled above, "Get your backside over here and throw down a rope."

No response.

"They're probably all asleep, sir."

It seemed a bit too early in the day for that.

"I'll wake them up then, if they are" and started to load.

As I was about to pour powder down the barrel an angry Shanalotte appeared at the lip of the pit.

"You make a racket and I will leave you down there, soul or no soul."

I kept my mouth shut and just looked up at her.

"Can you please lower a rope, miss Shanalotte? It will be easier for us."

The herald called to some others out of sight and a rope was dropped over the side. I went up first and helped the rest up.

It was freezing up top and it was only going to get colder, as the sun was just about to dip below the horizon.

Could have been worse, it could have been snowing.

I set about cleaning my equipment, along with Lucatiel's sword and then both 'lords' armour and weapons...I didn't get a say, they just dumped their stuff on me.

It took me a little while, but everything was free of grime and other nastiness that might corrode metal.

Also in that time the three took turns in the bathhouse, but I didn't notice focused on cleaning as I was.

When my turn for the bath came I practically ran, not that I spent long in the bath itself.

It was nice though, a good bath always is.

Forcing myself back into Majula, I relished at the cool nip of the air on my skin and the clear night above. The black was illuminated by the swirling, shifting stars. A prettier canvas, I think not.

The two 'lords' were settled down by their tents, looking into the fire they had started.

The blonde wasn't with them.

"She said she wasn't going to freeze out here tonight, sir. Lady Lucatiel has taken up residence in the manor," Vixen told me.

"OK," I turned back, "I wish you both a good night."

"Creature...Johannes," The dragon slayer stopped me, using my name for once, "Remember what we talked about."

"I know," I gave him a half smile, "I'm merely going to apologise to her for my earlier actions."

That was a lie in all honesty and Ornstein knew it, he held his tongue all the same.

When I entered the manor I first went to check on Cale; the cartographer was sleeping soundly upon a pile of maps in the basement. I hoped he was in a better state than I had last seen him in.

To find Lucatiel all I had to do was look for the only room with a closed door, with light pouring through the gaps.

I knocked, "It's me, Luca. Are you decent?"

On the other side the blonde fumbled with something, "Give me a moment."

A second or so later she told me to come in.

Lucatiel was sat on bed in a moth-eaten nightdress; her hair loose, no longer in it's braid.

"I found this," She noticed me staring and pulled at the sleeve of the dress, "It looked warm and it is. Stop looking at me like that, if you would be so kind."

"It suits you..." I swallowed, "I'll just get onto it, yes? I'm not sorry about what I did to that knight, nor the comment I made afterwards. I am a thug, as you put it, and that I don't think will change."

It's one of those uncomfortable truths about me.

Although it was dark in the room, candle light revealed enough. The blonde's lips were creased into a tight frown. But light or no light I would have seen it anyway.

"I had already gathered that," She shifted slightly on the bed, "Is that all?"

I began to chew on my lip, "I don't know, I thought we had other unfinished business from earlier."

The blonde rolled her eyes and opened her mouth.

I held up a finger stopping her, "I just want to talk for a bit, just talk."

Sitting down next to her on the bed, I put my hand on top of hers.

"You're not about to confess your love for me, are you?" The blonde raised an eyebrow and it was my turn to roll the old eyes.

"No!" My answer was short, sharp and overly aggressive. How many more times was she going to go with the 'smitten' thing?

Lucatiel turned her hand over and linked our finger, "I'm just teasing and I'm pretty sure I know what's on your mind."

Well that wasn't exactly secret, every part of my being was burning for it.

She placed a hand on my cheek and I looked deep into her eyes…

I hadn't noticed, but I had chewed on my lip a little too hard and a thin line of blood was running down my chin.

"I don't know what you want," I told her.

With her thumb she wiped away the trickle of blood, "I think I would like the same thing."

A smile appeared on my face, "Get steaming drunk and shag each other's brains out?"

"Such an eloquent way of putting things, you're a noble through and through," The blonde sarcastically replied.

"Oh, I'm as common as you are."

Lucatiel laughed at that, "You're really not and no, I don't want to get drunk. Are we going to do this then?"

I whispered something to her in Erebayan, slowly pushing her back onto the bed and stopped. The facade suddenly broke apart; Ornstein's words floating round mind.  
This wasn't going to end well.

I lost my human form, going _naked_ before her.

"I want to...I really, really want to," The voice that came forth was wispy and soft, ethereal. I don't think that description does any good.

When _naked_ I have no mouth or voice box, or any other features for that matter. A silhouetted mass of inky shadow, a being completely comprised of nothing. I shouldn't have a voice.

"Forgive me for being so selfish. We should not be in this situation," I ran an inky finger through her hair, "I even told myself this wasn't what I wanted, that it wouldn't happen, only to get out of this damned place. If we weren't here and you weren't already dead..."

My human form flickered back and I sat up.

"This just isn't right, for either of us. I should never have started."

Lucatiel also sat and rested her head against my shoulder, "I'm sorry too, I went along with it."

For the next twenty minute we were silent.

I kept trying to think of things to say, repeating them over and over in my head, but failing to let a single word out.

Instead I took the wineskin from my belt, having forgotten about it, and drank.

Please don't ask about where all my stuff goes when I go _naked_ , I don't know. It just all disappears and then comes back.

Anyway, I half drained the skin.

It was horribly bitter stuff, but went down all the same.

Putting the skin back, I gave Lucatiel's hand a brief squeeze and stood.

"No point in me staying much longer," I smiled at her, "I'll see you in the morning, honey."

I leant in and kissed her cheek, then turned to the door.

"Wait. Would you you could stay and sing a little for me again?" She requested.

I thought about it.

"Sure. One last time, eh?"

I sat back down.

What was I to sing though?

The Reaper's lament came to me:

 _Sleep,  
_ _sweet soul before me.  
_ _Sleep,  
_ _your time to go.  
_ _I'll hold you,  
_ ' _til you fade my dear,  
_ _for now is your time to go._

 _Sleep,  
_ _sweet friend of mine.  
_ _Sleep,  
_ ' _til the end.  
_ _I can't go on before you,  
_ _for it's not for me to know._

 _I'm not sure what your fears are,  
_ _and time is not so kind.  
_ _If I could,  
_ _I'd take your hand,  
_ _be your guide,  
_ _But I must stay behind.  
_ _I must stay behind._

We had laid down, I press up against her back with my arms around her.

"What was it about?" The blonde asked quietly.

"A Reaper fell in love with a soul they were taking to the afterlife...I know we're aren't in love, but I think it was fitting."

It's a clichéd story, but most are.

"Luca? If...if you hollow before you find your brother and we do, is there anything you want him to know?"

Lucatiel whispered; she was almost silent, but I caught every word.

A slight smile tugged at her lips, "Why do I feel that you will make a mess of just relaying my words?"

"Madame, you wound me suggesting I am so inept and you're probably right."

We both shared a giggle or two.

"I suppose we'll have to stop this as well," I said before burying my face into her hair, "I don't know how much time we have, but I wish there was more."

"Well I don't plan on hollowing...not soon," She reassured me.

I closed my eyes and kissed her neck, twice.

I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it.

"You're not making this easy, von Bayer," The blonde chided although she was grinning, as was I

What an odd flip-flop of emotions we had gone through that evening, better than moping though. I've watched movies with scenes like this, where one or both parties are crying their eyes out and everything's sombre.

Not us though.

"I'm just getting in a last few kisses, from tomorrow we'll have to be professional," I removed my arms from around the blonde and rolled onto my back, "It's been fun, whilst this little charade lasted,"

Another few minutes of silence followed, not awkward silence, but calming.

"Well my love, that's it," I stared up at the ceiling, "No more these games of lust or whatever the hell this was. Not going to lie though, would have liked to have gone out with a bang."

Lucatiel chuckled, "We nearly did."

"Something tells me you would have been very disappointed if we did...some actually dare call me quick Johnny," A wide smile split my lips, "Never to my face, you understand, but I get the picture. Though if they're really that dissatisfied with me, they could always go back to their husbands."

The blonde shrugged, "Well, I'll never know if you live up to the title...now shut up and go to sleep. No doubt we will be busy tomorrow."

"Yes, lady Lucatiel."

She fell quickly, whilst I never got there.

Just another sleepless night of wondering what could have been.

It was a little after first light when the blonde stirred and gave me a look similar to Cale had, it was only brief and soon enough she was asking me to leave so she could get ready.

Ornstein had been correct though, the only question was how long did she have?

Speaking of the man I met him back at the tents.

He gave me a brief glance, "Did it happen then?"

I shook my head and sat down with him, "Myself and Lucatiel did not _sleep_ together and we will no longer be acting the way we were."

The dragon slayer looked to the closed tent, "Do you hear that pursuer, they didn't sleep together. Pay up!"

Vixen's head poked through the tent flap, "I will, next time I find myself with gold in my purse."

Oh, these bastards had made a wager.

That's not funny...I would have done the exact same thing.

"You're both cunts," I grumbled and removed a lump of hardtack from a pocket.

"I don't know how you can eat the stuff without soaking it," Ornstein commented, tapping the ash out of his smoking stick.

"Easily," Then bit down and started to 'enjoy' the flavour of baked flour.

"Are you alright, sir?" Vixen exited the tent.

"Yes Vix," I chiselled off another bit of hardtack, lost interest and stuffed the rest back where it had come from.

"Where next then?" I asked, removing a lead round from one of the cartouche and a hand axe that conveniently close by. I flattened the bullet and hacked it into small pieces, then did the same with another, then another and poured the small chunks of lead in one of the empty apostles.

"Not sure, sir. You'll have to ask the herald and what are you doing exactly?"

"I want meat and I'm not hitting small targets with these," I shook the ball at Vixen, "Thought a lot of little ones might act like a net and I might actually hit a rabbit."

Was also going to need to find some more lead, maybe Lenigrast would have some.

"In fact I'm going to go now. One of you go and out what's happening, then sort out equipment."

"I'll come with you, sir."

"Oh! Leaving me with the work, of course you are," He scowled, stood and left.

Myself and Vixen passed Lucatiel on the way out of Majula.

We talked a little, but after the prior night we kept it brief.

She wished us luck in our little endeavour and we went on our merry way.

I took Vixen to the spot where I had been practising and that's where we waited.

I still found it odd to see the brute outside of his armour, but I doubt he would need it against small game animals.

We spent most of that morning hunting and it was a good morning.

5 rabbits, 2 hen pheasants and an unlucky wood pigeon.

"If you three are lucky, you can each have a rabbit's leg. How's that sound, Vixen?"

"Remind me again sir, who is carrying the game you killed?"

The brute lifted one of the hen pheasants, "I think I'll be having the whole bird, sir."

As long as I got the other one, no complaints from me.

"Are you sure you're alright? I know you and lady Lucatiel were getting closer, to the point of nearly forming a natural conclusion."

"Is that what we're calling it now? A natural conclusion, I quite like that," I swallowed, "It would be lovely if myself and Luca could be together, but...you know why it can't be, as Ornstein pointed out. More ladies like her out there and speaking of which, what's your sister like?"

Vixen cleared his throat, "None of your business. No offence, sir."

Well, Vexa Kellantine became my business eventually, as in roughly eight years ago when she gave birth to a daughter. Little Amber, looks just like her mother, with the exception of her eyes which are from me.

…

I'll leave that there.

"I have a feeling sir, that you will meet her soon enough."

Vixen was either clairvoyant or it was a form of a sibling's bond, not sure which. Don't believe in either really.

"As you say, Vixen," I smirked, "Let's get these back and eaten."

I had really enjoyed that morning and it had taken my mind away from other unpleasantness, and my love of hunting had just been stoked.

Myself and Vixen rejoined the other two, along with Shanalotte.

As we ate the food the herald told us what was happening.

"Drangleic castle is where you're going, but to open the gate you need me."

Why? Who crates a lock that needs a very specific person to unlock it?

"So I will need you to escort me."

It was around that point I stopped listening, as Shalquoir had hopped up onto my lap and was pawing at my the chunk of pheasant in my hand.

"Won't you share?" The cat tried her best to remove the meat from my grip, "Oh after the advice I've given you, won't you share?"

"Bugger off. This is people food, not kitty food," I pushed the ball of fluff off my lap, "Go hunt your own."

Shalquoir jumped right back up and continued trying to steal _my_ food.

Eventually I caved and grumbled about why she hadn't gone to someone else.

I never got an answer, just a kitty asleep on my knees.

"And what are we doing in the castle? What's waiting for us?"

The herald shrugged.

"Well sir," Vixen answered instead, "Queen Nashandra. She never left the castle. Other than that, there would be the Shrine of Amana..."

The brute trailed off and when asked why, skirted around giving me a proper answer saying that it was a foolish thought and to pay no mind.

"Fine. A few days or however long it takes to get our equipment ready and then we can go," I tossed a bit of bone into the fire, "Luca, can you prepare Shanalotte for travel?"

The blonde nodded.

"Thanks honey," I smiled, "You make sure she stays safe. You undead depend on her, so it won't be good if she dies on us."

"I'm aware of that, von Bayer," Lucatiel exhaled through her nose, "And don't sell Shanalotte short. She's the type that's able to look after herself."

"I would also appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about me as if I wasn't here," The woman with miss-matched eyes crossed her arms.

"OK, OK," I then changed the direction of the conversation to the two 'lords', "Anything you want to add?"

Both shook their heads.

Good.

And with that being said, it was off to meet the queen.


	12. Chaos

**That time again for another of these.  
** **You all know the drill, so I don't think i need to say the obvious.  
As always i do hope you enjoy the mess and if you can leave feedback/general thoughts, or at least just let me know you're alive...  
I'm gonna try and re-write parts 1&2 after this, so it may be a little while before part 13 is done.  
Anyhoo, until next time, I do hope you enjoy.**

* * *

In out task of escorting the herald we were taken back to the three way gatehouse, taking the left most path this time.

Hollow falconers accosted us as we went; damned falcons were very much alive though and a bloody pest at that.

Presumably the falconers had been the mercenary guard of a Volgen envoy in Drangleic, judging by the dead Volgen we found shortly after.

The hollows were easily downed by the 'lords' and Lucatiel; she was brutally delivering a mordhau, after facing a hollow in heavier armour. The quillion on her blade went straight through the eye slit and then she followed up by hitting it's throat with the pommel.

I had the honour of defending Shanalotte, whilst also dealing with the bloody falcons. A good thing I still had lead shot left, wasn't it?

2 birds with one shot, I was a bit buggered then as there was 3 more falcons.

As luck would have it the shot scared the other birds away, also startling the herald who was crouching with her hands over her ears.

I grabbed her by the collar and dragged her up roughly.

Lucatiel had done a good job outfitting the herald and like with Vixen out his armour, it was queer to see her without the usual cloak.

"All dead, sir," The brute reported.

"Good," I turned away from the others and to the herald, "You can' t be doing that if we we're properly in battle, can you?"

"That was louder than I thought it was going to be," She still had her hands pressed against her ears. I had forgotten that she had only heard the arquebus go off without a ball loaded in Majula, this was the first full load she'd heard.

"You said you needed to be escorted, don't complain. And why am I the one looking after you, I did ask Lucatiel to do so?" I said, placing the arquebus over my shoulder.

The blonde turned and with a blank expression said, "I was fighting, von Bayer and you weren't. We all were pulling our own weight."

"Excuse me?" I placed a hand on my hip, "Who dealt with the poxy birds? Me, honey."

"You got a pair of birds, well done," Lucatiel wiped away some rot from quillion, "So much harder to defeat a bird, than a hollow in full plate."

Well yes, but still...

I just grumbled 'bitch' under my breath and let it be.

The blonde heard…

"Would you like a slap, von Bayer?" She asked sweetly.

I considered it for a moment, "No, no I'm fine without one."

The blonde shook her head and returned her sword to it's scabbard.

"Where from here then?" I asked the herald.

She gave a one word answer of 'up' and pointed to the hill before us.

This was going to be fun, though the ascent was as bad as I had imagined.

Halfway up there was one more Heide knight and his armour was going to me mine.

"Why don't you just leave it alone," Ornstein used his spear to stop me getting closer.

"But I want the armour."

Good god, I were petulant.

Hadn't heard the 'I want never gets' idiom, it's a good one to live by.

"And if you have the armour, where are you going to put it?" He looked down at me, "I'm not carrying it. The pursuer isn't going to carry it. The ladies won't carry it."

"Alright," I threw up a hand, "You've made your point. I'll leave the knight alone."

There was a chance I could collect it on the way back, if the fellow was still there, those Heide knights didn't seem to move much if not provoked.

I was still a little disappointed and wished I hadn't discarded the armour I had taken back at cardinal tower.

I was just going to have to let this go.

Though that was a little difficult with the blonde smirking as she was.

"Oh give it a rest, will you," I scratched my cheek and gave the blonde a sidelong glance, "I'm not getting a lot of things I'm wanting recently and it's frustrating. I'm starting to see the downsides of this common life."

Lucatiel shuffled up alongside Shanalotte, "You would never guess that he was a nobleman, the way he whines."

"I don't know how you deal with him. I was sick of him after the first day," The herald drawled, "And he was unconscious."

The blonde placed a finger to her lips, "You just get used to it eventually. He's not all that bad when he keeps his mouth shut."

She was smiling my way.

"Do you have to look at me like that, honey?" A slight wave of annoyance washed over me, " _You_ know exactly what I want most and _you_ know I can't. Don't make this harder than it already is...please."

She ignored me and continued with the herald, "He's not very subtle either."

"Does this have anything to do with what happened in the manor?" Shanalotte asked, with a glint in one of her mismatched eyes.

I hate gossips with a bloody passion.

"More like what didn't happen," I got out in a low whisper, "And you're not going to hear a single thing about it, dear fire keeper."

I sent a glare to Lucatiel, wanting to make sure she wouldn't say anything either.

"I heard enough from a little bird."

"Was this little bird about so big and covered in fur?" I ground my teeth together.

The herald looked away, "There are many beings in Majula."

"That's a yes then. That damned kitty needs to learn to keep her nose out of other people's business," A few swears may have slipped from my mouth, cursing everyone and everything in Drangleic.

'We can't do this any more' I said, 'we'll have to be professional', I said.

If only it could be that easy.

I made my excuses and left the two ladies, catching up with the two 'lords'.

"Everything alright, sir?" The pursuer asked.

He received more swears in response.

"Ugh, you're not still complaining about that armour?" Ornstein had his visor open and was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm just venting, dragon slayer. I just can't get someone out of my head; the way she walks with that swagger, the way she talks, that look she has about her face...it's driving me mad."

I pulled my morion off so it hung about my neck and upended about half my canteen over my head, probably not the best idea seeing as it was the middle of winter, but I needed something to 'cool' off.

Ornstein tapped my shoulder and held a palm out flat, on it was a clump of smoking leaf.

I snatched it, immediately ripping a bit off and cramming it a smoking stick and started to fumble about lighting it.

I mumbled my gratitude and hoped all my apostles were fully sealed, I wouldn't want to go bang because of a stray ember.

"Show restraint against such things. I'll admit that when myself and the pursuer made our wager I believed that you would not have listened to my advice, but you did and proved me wrong. Don't let what has and what hasn't get to you."

I blew smoke to the sky and nodded, "I still can't believe you managed to convince Vixen to make a bet."

"Actually sir," Vixen started with a hand behind his head, "I was the one who made the bet."

He smiled awkwardly, the cheeky bastard.

"You can shout at me later, sir. That looks like the first gate," He sidestepped a verbal barrage, narrowly.

It was only a small gatehouse and at first glance looked ordinary, but it felt off.

When I asked the other said they could feel nothing; my skin was ablaze and I didn't want to go near.

The door seemed unopenable, that was until Shanalotte approached the gate and started to manipulate the four souls.

The door slowly opened without assistance.

"What's the matter, you scared?" Lucatiel grinned at my unease.

"Shut your trap, woman!" I took the arquebus off my shoulder, clutching it close to my chest, "Let's just go through."

My unease was put to rest upon entering the gatehouse, as nothing was there other than an alter, like that I had found in the Iron keep.

Unlike then though I felt a strange curiosity towards it, like I needed to see what was on the other side.

Was it going to be that ash covered tower again?

"I'll be back in a moment," I told the rest and laid a hand on the smooth stone.

The same tingly/floaty feeling took hold and I was elsewhere in the world.

The first thing I noticed was the biting cold; frozen winds screaming all around and that unnatural burning all over my body was more intense.

Leading from the alter was a flight of spiral stairs and there it was before me, a great walled city.

" _You, approaching Eleum Loyce, turn back,_ " It was a voice riding on the wind, " _The old chaos hungers still._ "

That just made me more curious and chaos, I had heard that before.

"Sir!" Vixen's voice startled me, "We shouldn't be here, sir."

Why had he followed me?

They all had?

"I need to see this chaos," I told the lot, "I need to know what it is."

"This really is something best left alone," Ornstein stepped forward, "This city was built to contain the spread. The witch in the Bastille only furthered that problem."

"I can feel it, whatever it is. I need to know what it is," I repeated a little more forcefully, turning back towards the main gate of this frozen city.

The dragon slayer grunted, "If you get us killed..."

The old man walked beside me to my right, with Vixen on my left and the two women behind.

" _Go back,_ " The wind carried voice sounded again, " _Aava is watching. Go back._ "

"I think the disembodied voice has a point. I don't like this place," Lucatiel added to the other two's complaints.

They weren't going to stop me and they didn't need to follow me either, which I made known to them, but still they came.

Conditions grew worse inside the city walls; a blizzard was contained within.

Even through the white wall I could smell something waiting, hear something...purring?

Pushing through the snow, the outlines of a cathedral appeared and upon a parapet was a large creature.

"Wait," I alone went forward, inserting the dagger into the arquebus.

Inch by inch I got closer, eyes always on this Aava.

A giant tiger, that's what it was.

It was asleep when I got to the outer wall of the cathedral, then an eye lazily flickered open and it yawned.

From it's resting place, Aava jumped and landed with a thud, throwing up bit of snow and ice.

My first thought was it's about to attack, yet no attack came.

The tiger came close and sniffed at me several times, it then lost interest and started to clean itself.

This is why you don't employ cats as guards, they're more likely to help the intruder in than stop them.

"I think you're meant to be stopping me," I looked Aava straight in the eyes.

The tiger stopped cleaning and sniffed me again, then playfully batted me with a paw.

"Oh, you want to play do you?"

The tiger batted me again and stopped, rolling onto it's back, belly on full show and tail slowly swaying from side to side.

It wasn't threatened by me then.

From my supply bag I took a bit of dried meat and gave it over to the tiger, who devoured it in seconds.

It came close again, sniffed and then rubbed it's head against me.

"Do you think you could let me and my friends pass?" I asked, scratching Aava behind the ear.

The tiger yawned and collapsed in a lazy heap, a low purr being emitted from it's throat.

"Is that a yes?"

"Who are you talking to?" The dragon slayer asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

The other three were looking equally confused.

"Aava," I pointed to the tiger, whose half opened eyes were fixed on the group.

"There is nothing there, creature."

What?

"Please tell me you can see the rather large tiger sitting next to me?"

The four shook their collective heads.

"No really? The giant tiger! Right! There!"

"Did you trip and hit your head?"

I looked back to Aava, "Can you roar or something? Tell them that you're there."

The tiger sleepily looked back, put it's head down and started to close it's eyes.

"Fat lot of good you are."

The big cat loosed a disapproving chirp and curled up into a ball, apparently wanting no more to do with me or the other four it was supposed to be stopping.

I told the group to walk around otherwise disturb the oversized predator; Ornstein not believing me took a step forward and was promptly hissed at.

"There is a large, invisible tiger there, isn't there?"

I just nodded, smiling.

I gave Aava one last scratch behind the ear and entered the cathedral.

There was a woman in a ragged cloth wrap kneeling a level above us, "To think that Aava could be bested..."

"I wouldn't say he put up a fight, rather he didn't bother fighting at all," I replied, "He's just outside sleeping."

"She!" The woman corrected.

"Alright, _she's_ sleeping outside. Goodness, you didn't have to bite my balls off cos' I got it wrong. Do you treat all your guests like this? Rude of you really."

The woman straightened up.

"I know you," She jabbed a finger towards the dragon slayer, then to me, "But who are you? How were you able to view Aava without the Eye of the Priestess? You feel familiar, who are you?"

"I am his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer and I've taken an interest in the mess you call chaos. I can feel it burning all around us, I need to see it."

The woman inhaled sharply and stood, "Do you think to harness it as your own, foolish human?"

Lucatiel smirked and took a step forward, "Yes he is an idiot, but he's not human."

I went _naked_ upon her saying that and bowed.

" _I don't wish to take it as my own,_ _I may be able to get rid of if_."

Something that made me that uncomfortable needed to be destroyed, " _Take me to it, if you would._ "

The woman stared at me through her raven black bangs, "Sir Rennish, to me please."

"Coming, my lady," A rather aged voice called from the stairs below.

Heavy clanking followed as the knight climbed, the first thing revealed was his long silvery grey hair, then his weathered face complete with a great grey beard.

This sir Rennish was wearing a full harness, a frog mouth helm under his left arm and a pole-axe in his right.

"Prepare the winch, this fool wishes to see the old chaos."

"Yes, my lady."

The knight beckoned to me and I followed.

"Why a young man like you would want to see something so horrific is beyond me," Rennish spoke softly, "My lord went down with my brothers once...never to return. Ah, here we are."

I stepped into the winch basket and was handed a rope.

"Tug on this once to stop the winch, twice when you want to continue down and three times to return."

"OK."

Rennish started the winch.

I lurched as it went down, the burning feeling only growing stronger.

What was I about to find and why was it unnerving me?

The walls disappeared and another world opened up, for as far as the eye could see the corruption spread under ground.

Looking down over the edge I found the remains of a crumbled stone platform, five gates at the end. Four small, one large.

The four small ones flashed and out poured knight's in melted armour, scorched black by the chaos.

I yanked the rope and the basket halted with a swing.

Mile after mile of twisted roots and what I can only describe as lava clung to everything, but was getting no further than where I was coming down.

I had enough for the moment and pulled three times.

When back up in the cathedral I ignored Rennish and returned to the others.

"Well then, you've seen it. Can you do something about it?" The woman asked.

"Maybe," I thought about it, "It's going to take time and I will need aid to defend me, more than who we have at the moment."

The woman hummed and point to the door, "Spread throughout Eleum Loyce are still knight loyal to the Ivory king, go find them. They will help, as will sir Rennish."

Wouldn't it be easier to just ring a bell or something to summon them? We were in a cathedral after all and that made more sense, but this world seemed to lack such.

"Fine," I marched towards the exit, stopping Shanalotte as I got to her, "You stay here, the rest of you let's go."

The blizzard was gone and judging by the looks the group was giving, the exception being myself and sir Rennish, suggested they could now see Aava.

The big cat remained still as we past but stopped me, nuzzling her nose at my supply bag.

"Alright, I'll share more meat with you," I patted her head, "But this has got to be a secret between us. Don't tell Shalquoir."

Aava lapped the bit of dried pork off my palm, nearly taking my hand off doing so.

"There's a good girl."

I caught up with the others, wiping my hand on the back of Lucatiel's jerkin.

"What is it with you and cats?" She asked, after punching my arm, "Shalquoir's all over you in Majula and that one has taken to you too."

I shrugged, "I've always been that way with cats."

The imperial palace was full of them; never had to worry about heating the bedroom during winter due to the sheer volume of felines on my bed. That and I know the fundamental principle of cat maintenance, feed them and they won't murder you in your sleep.

Ornstein cleared his throat, "What are your thoughts then?"

"Aava's a big softy."

"No, not the tiger. The chaos!"

"Truthfully I don't know, but it's wrong. It shouldn't be."

You want to know my current theory, dear reader?

This chaos was no more than slag, a by-product of whatever the wytch had been doing. What I had witnessed was the elephant's foot.

The only thing missing was the lethal amounts of radiation leaking from it.

I believe that when the wytch tried to recreate the first flame, it burned out almost instantly and this is what was left.

It then started to consume and grow.

Beware the blob and all that, and instead of cancer, daemons. I'm still not sure which is worse.

"What is your actual plan to deal with it? You can't fighting it normally."

"I know I can't Ornstein and the only way I can think of ridding this world of it is to consume it, destroy it at a base level," The dragon slayer looked at me in disbelief, "I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me when I say it needs to be torn apart atom by atom."

"I have no idea what that means creature, but if you can solve a problem that has plagued us for so long, do it.," He eyes were serious, "If there's a chance in hell it can be done, I suppose a god would be able to do it."

"You call Gwyn a god and he couldn't," I replied, with a similar tone.

"Gwyn was a man with a powerful soul, no more," There was a sadness the way Ornstein said it, "Because the pygmies believed it, he ended up believing it. We all believed it."

It's always dangerous when you start to believe your own lies, but that's a demagogue for you.

I don't think I have the right to say anything though.

"You find that gods are never what they seem," I smiled, "Take me for instance, I'm work shy, alcoholic, a little quick to violence etc."

"Also slept around a lot," The blonde added.

"Not recently, Lucatiel!" I glared at the woman, "If you push me any further woman, I'll...I'll..."

"Push me down and have your way with me?"

I slid the arquebus of my shoulder and slotted the dagger into the muzzle, "I'll jam this so far up your pretty little arse, that I'll be able to pick your nose with the blade. I was damned sure you would be the more adult between us!"

The undead Mirrah knight frowned and Vixen stood between us.

He hadn't needed to, my threat was hollow.

Good lord, why was she riling me up so?

My own damned fault for biting, I suppose.

"My, it's wonderful to see such lively individuals once again in Eleum Loyce," The aged knight spoke absently, "Ah, here we are. The first of our remaining defenders is in here."

Through a low door, which the two 'lords' struggled to get through, was an armoury.

Gleaming weaponry and armour filled the room from floor to ceiling, all had a look of having been meticulously care for.

"Rennish? Is that you, you old scoundrel?" An equally aged voice called out, "Aren't you supposed to be guarding the entrance to the old chaos?"

A gruff looking man appeared, an eyepatch over his right eye.

"Our lady has asked me to help these fine men and women," Rennish replied cheerfully, "The young man in the morion says he can end the chaos."

The man with the eyepatch looked on blankly, with his mouth open a little.

"Fuck off, you senile bastard," He spat, "Ain't no-one getting rid of that, leave me be."

"Our lady commands it Kern," Rennish spoke with more force, "This may be the only chance we have to put the souls of our brothers to rest."

There was a low growl in the back of the armourer's throat.

"Fine," He glared as Rennish, "You in the piss pot can help me with my armour."

I looked around the room wondering who it was he meant.

Ornstein bowed down, "He means you."

I would never call a morion a piss pot, a kettle helm

"Get your backside shifted lad or I'm likely to pass of old age," He turned and disappeared further into the room.

I followed the one-eyed man into the back, where he was starting to pull out plate armour.

"Come one then lad, help me out."

I laid my arquebus against the closest wall and got in the way, I didn't know how to equip a man in full harness.

"Are you daft or something? I don't want that bit yet, give me that bit there."

He was annoyed that I was bad at arming a man, I was annoyed that he was shouting at me, so I just held my tongue and followed his instruction as closely as I could.

"So what's someone like you doing with the Iron king's thunder lance?"~

I stood back from the armourer in surprise.

"Found it."

I kept the answer truthful, if extremely vague.

"Try again using words," He jabbed a gauntleted finger at me, "I'm the man who made it and it weren't made for you."

So the man before me wasn't just an armour, but a smith too.

I gave him the full story.

"You know how to use it?"

At that I went through full drill and levelled the weapon ready to fire, if I had a slow match lit that is.

"Isn't that quaint," The man snorted, "And what the hell's that thing on your hip? Ain't like no bloody sword like I've seen."

Armourer Kern was more abrasive than Lenigrast and that was saying something.

I would have to admit though that my schara was a little impractical and possibly a better sword could hang from my side.

I'd just pilfer one when Kern's back was turned...

"When we return next door, take one from one of the racks."

Or I could just be allowed to take a sword from the armoury.

"It won't help you, but you'll have a proper blade on you when you die."

He were a cheery bugger; I never bothered explaining that I can't actually die, had a feeling he wouldn't believe me.

We continued to struggled putting his armour on, not because of my lack of experience, but due to the man having quite the stomach on him.

"You'll need to suck your gut in, otherwise this cuirass isn't going on," I grunted trying to get the breast plate on Kern.

The armourer grumbled that it had fit the last time he had worn it...whenever the hell that had been.

With a little effort I got the cuirass one him and eventually the rest of his armour fitted.

The only piece that remained off was the helm, another frog mouth.

The use of that helm stumped me.

For those of you unaware, the frog mouth helm is a jousting helm and was never meant for combat. Trust me, even though you have a vision slit you can see fuck all.

I wasn't the one fighting in it, so it didn't matter.

"You can go back and find a suitable sword, tell the senile bastard I'll be through in a few minutes."

I nodded and back into the armoury I went.

I gave Kern's message to Rennish and asked Vixen to help me find a 'better' sword.

This kingdom wasn't lacking for choice when it came to weapons.

I found myself looking at a row of rapiers, when Vixen came and handed over a zweihänder.

He was smirking, failing miserably to hold back laughter.

"I think this one might be suitable for you, sir."

This zweihänder was one of the larger varieties, as in one of the 80-odd inch ones, which is a good 12 or so inches taller than me. I came just about up to the parry hooks before the ricasso.

Thing is I can pick swords like that up with ease, much to Vixen's surprise when I took it from him and started to thrash it about.

"You're getting a little too cheeky for my liking, Vixen," I handed him back the zweihänder and went back to the other swords.

Whilst I like rapiers, none of them caught my eye and I would never really use a rapier against an armoured target anyway.

What did catch my eye was a swept hilt sidesword.

Why would I choose that kind over another, I don't hear you?

Well...it looked pretty and I hadn't used my schara since Mytha's domain and seeing as Lenigrast had a mould, I could get another one easily.

I removed the sword from the rack and adopted a good stance, testing the weight of the blade.

It held beautifully, finger rings in just the right place for my index to loop round.

A good balance, the thrust was inline with my wrist.

The blade was around the length and width of arming sword, a bit longer maybe.

It was comfortable and I liked it the moment I picked it up and again it was a very pretty sword.

"You look good with it, sir," Vixen commented, still with the zweihänder in his grasp.

"It feels nice and you know, ain't bigger than me!"

The brute leant back against a support column, "The way you and Lucatiel have been going on, I thought I would try and lighten the mood a little, especially around you sir. Truthfully, I think you're overreacting and she is...well, I don't know. I don't like see either of you acting this way."

I held up my open hand, which Vixen took.

"Thanks brother. It don't feel too good though, in fact it feels rotten," I admitted, "I'm going to have to deal with it though. Ornstein's right in what he's said...I just want to go home, I'm sick of this all."

The brute placed his hand on my shoulder, "I understand, sir."

I don't think he did, but the sentiment was nice.

He removed his hand and went about removing my sword belt, exchanging it for the one that went with the sidesword.

"Seeing as you made a bet with the dragon slayer, how many hollows you think I'll kill with this?" I changed the topic of conversation.

Vixen's face twisted in thought, "I need to know in what kind of time and what we're betting for?"

I suggested three days and whatever gold we had on each other in the time.

"Fair enough. I'll say exactly none, sir"

Oh, he was on.

"I'll show you, you faithless bastard," A wide grin on my face, "Now let's go, don't want to keep the others waiting."

On our way back I remember that I didn't have my arquebus with me; I had left it in Kern's back room. It was an odd feeling, like being naked.

The armourer himself had picked it up himself and I didn't like that it was in someone else's arms.

"All my hard work put into this and look at it, all of the engraving and jewel placement ruined," The one-eyed man mumbled.

"I've taken look at it. It seems that you have actually taken care of it," He handed the arquebus back, "And it's good to see you have a proper sword now."

I ignored him and turned on my heels.

From the armoury we were taken further into Eleum Loyce and I must say, what a gorgeous city it was.

We managed to amass around 40 of the remained Loyce knights and even a few of the golems that patrolled the city walls instead of the dwindling Loyce knights.

Back outside the grand cathedral I stayed, playing with Aava a little.

I think it was to psych myself up, to allow my brain to release adrenaline into my body.

She mewed sympathetically.

I think it was because she knew what I was about to try.

Aava hadn't known me half a day, but she was acting like I had known her forever.

The big cat was curled up and I with her.

The heat radiating off her body was enough to stave off the bitter cold.

"I'll be fine," I spoke aloud, "No chaos will hurt me. I'm a god Aava, an immortal. It can try, but it won't succeed."

I scratched the overly large kitty under the chin, eliciting a strong purr.

"You're a good girl. If only I could speak kitty-cat, then me and you could talk properly."

Aava mewed again and rested her head atop my legs.

I was tempted to fall asleep; the rhythmic beat of Aava's heart was soothing.

I was unfortunately denied my entrance to dreamland by one of the Loyce Knights, telling me that his lady Alsanna wanted me.

"Sorry old girl, need to go," I lifted Aava's head and slipped inside the cathedral.

Alsanna was still kneeling at the pulpit or at least what was left of it.

She asked what my plan was for dealing with this corruption, I told her that I needed her knights to defend me whist I made my way to the chaos.

I didn't need the charred knights interrupting me.

Something was telling me that I wasn't going to enjoy this, regardless of the help.

To lower the chance of my catching on any fire given off my the chaos, I left my bandoleers with Shanalotte.

I had an idea that I wouldn't be engaged in much combat; the arquebus was more of a last ditch weapon in this situation.

It would be fire and then immediately in with the plug dagger.

I walked over to Lucatiel, "Are you ready? Cos' I'm terrified."

"I'm not going down with you, von Bayer," She plonked herself down on the ground, "I'm not hollowing or being consumed by whatever it is below, just so you can pretend to be a hero."

"Oh fuck off! Do you really think I'm that bloody petty?"

"No," She tilted her head, "Just wanted to see how you would react to me saying it."

"Eh...wha...now of all bloody times. What the bloody hell is wrong with you at the moment?"

A frustrated sigh left my mouth and I left the infuriating woman, going to the lower chamber for a few deep breaths.

Not long after the first of the remaining Loyce knights descended, then myself, Vixen and Ornstein. They were to be my close defence.

Then it was our turn to go down.

The winch system dropped us slowly.

Ornstein was the first to say something, "Gwyn protect, there's so much. How did we allow this to spread?"

I wasn't interested in that, just ending it.

The other knights that had gone before us were also locked in combat against their burnt brethren. They were all in a loose chevron, pushing outward.

"Either of you die, I'll kick the ever loving shit out of you," I warned lightly.

"If I die, I'm going to haunt you creature," Ornstein's eyes were serious, but he was sporting a smile, "Best of luck to you."

The old man clapped me on the back and closed his visor.

Vixen said something along the same lines and then, "Stay behind me sir, I'll get you as far as I can."

We hit the ground with a thump, that was when the mad bloody scramble started.

It was forward, forward, forward.

No thinking, just advance.

Bugger the Loyce knights, they were expendable, they could die for myself and the two 'lords'.

"Stop sir!" Vixen raised his shield, blocking an oncoming pole-axe. This was followed up by a lunging thrust by Ornstein.

A pyromancer appeared to my right, a burning staff his catalyst.

Myself and the two 'lords' hit the floor as the air around us burst into flames, taking a good seven or eight Loyce knights out of commission. We kept moving regardless.

A little further up Vixen smashed a charred knight over the platforms railing and crushed a second with his great sword.

A few more feet and I was in reach of one of the branches.

I put down the arquebus and readied myself, but stopped seeing a charred knight charging us.

In a swift motion I knelt down, picked the weapon back up, fixed the match and fired. The ball hit the charred knight about the stomach, punching a hole straight through the armour.

Vixen nodded his thanks and I set about again to start my work.

In times like these a little Dutch courage wouldn't go amiss, I had no clue whether or not it would work.

My hands were shaking as I reached out to grasp the chaos before me.

Whilst me skin was burning something fierce, it weren't half as filthy a feeling as the chaos itself felt.

It wasn't painful, just unpleasant.

The process started off slowly though soon picked up speed, but you need to remember dear reader I had several continents worth of the stuff to rid the world of.

It seemed however, the more I consumed the quicker the consumption was.

All around was the noise of fighting; steel clashing against steel, shouts, cries, swears, screams.

Truly a horrifying sound, only made worse when gun powder were introduced in full.

Only one sound missing from this battle, the only sound that terrified me up until recently, cavalry. Not that there was room for them.

I continued on anyway, drowning out the sounds.

Fifteen minutes turned into twenty and twenty to thirty; I could feel it's grip loosening, but how far had my reach spread? How much further could I go?

"Oh Gwyn save us," Ornstein panted.

I turned my head around the best I could to see what the dragon slayer did.

Four of the five gates had been frozen over and at the fifth was an imposing figure, taller than even the 'lords'.

"The Ivory King," The remaining Loyce knights all whispered, all secretly hoping he was still the same man they had once known.

All hopes dashed the moment the Ivory king swung his sword.

"Do you need much longer?" The dragon slayer shouted.

"I don't know, just keep him away from me. I have a feeling that if I don't get it all now it'll grow back."

I doubled my efforts, but the effects of my work were evident as where corrupted roots and chaos had been inky shadow now clung.

I created everything within a split second, yet this was taking a bloody eternity. Well, that's what it felt like and judging by the screams, more Loyce knight fell to their master's blade.

Ornstein went off the aid those remain, I quietly wished him luck.

Then out of no-where, I felt something give way.

The burning feeling was gone and although I tried, there was no-more to consume.

Turning round, there was only one Loyce knight still standing, alongside Ornstein. Both were fighting valiantly against the old monarch.

"Vixen," I picked up my arquebus, "Let's get him killed. I'm done here."

The brute studied me, no doubt trying to see if there had been any adverse effects, then nodded.

My hand went to to the cartouche on my hip and pulled out a paper tube.

I may have lied when I said I would only have one shot...only one shot without my bandoleers.

Back in Majula I had taken some paper from the manor and had a bit of an experiment with containing powder and ball into one place.

It would not only reduce weight and free up space, but it would mean less of a chance of blowing myself up.

Also the fact that if I have powder and ball in once place, that meant less fumbling about whilst loading the thing.

There were only three in the cartouche, but I knew they would work.

I tore the ball off with my teeth, holding it there whilst I poured the powder, then tossed the paper.

I spat the ball into my hand and dropped it down the muzzle.

I did not spit the ball directly into the muzzle! Do not spit bullets into the barrel of a muzzle loader!

Only a stupid bugger would put their gob over the muzzle of a gun. That's a quick way of getting the back of your head blown out.

I only had around a minute left in the match, so I was only going to get one more shot.

"Get an opening for me Ornstein, I'll drop him for you."

The dragon slayer gave no reply, though managed to bait the Ivory king into a high strike.

I aimed for the monarch's chest, hitting his hip instead.

The Ivory king hit the ground on one knee, he was breathing heavily.

He was looking all around at the emptiness left by me.

In that time the dragon slayer stabbed the Ivory king in the unarmoured area around the groin. The blood that dripped out was like lave as it hissed and smoked on the ground.

Ornstein followed with a jab to the armpit.

In a final move, the old man managed to tear off the Ivory King's helm revealing the melted flesh below and drove his fist into the skull.

I'm sure I heard the defeated monarch call out to Alsanna.

Ornstein pulled his fist free and turned back to myself and Vixen.

"Is that it then? That was easier that I thought," The old man planted the butt of his spear on the ground and used the rest to steady himself, "I think I'm finally at that age where I can say, I'm getting too old for this shit."

I'd give him that cliché.

He raised his visor and wiped away sweat, his eyes falling on me, "You holding up, creature? You're shaking."

"Of course I am! You know how much energy I've created by absorbing all that rubbish? I'll brain that damned wytch, if I ever come across her."

"Too late creature, she was killed years ago."

Oh yeah, the fact that we had already claimed the old wytch's soul should have given it away.

"Alright, collect what souls you can and then we can go back up."

Before either could do that the last of the Loyce knights dropped dead, it was sombre.

We three had a moment silence.

Then it was back up topside.

I'm glad I hadn't listened to my companions about turning back and leaving Eleum Loyce alone; if I had, how long before the chaos would have corrupted the entire world?

It didn't matter.

The blonde undead was waiting to greet us, "Oh thank the gods, you're all OK. We could only hear the screams coming from below."

"Not a scratch on us, lady Lucatiel," Vixen removed his helm and stood off the winch platform.

The look on her face told me she wasn't listening to the pursuer, "John! You're bleeding...you're crying blood."

That's just dandy, I wiped a finger across my cheek and pulled it back thick with crimson. I would be concerned but I already sort of had haemolacria, it was nothing new.

"I'm fine, honey. My body's just purging excess energy."

Her right hand cupped my cheek, "You had me worried."

Ornstein coughed, "Are we done here?"

Yes. Yes we were.

I thought we were.

Alsanna stopped me however, asking about what had happened with the Ivory king etc.

"You, stranger, who have ended this scourge, I have a request," She looked to the ground, "End my life, so I may be with my beloved."

The ice that had previously been blocking entrance shattered.

"I have nothing to give you for what you have done, except for this crown and the kingdom itself."

"I'll take the crown, but what would I do with an empty kingdom with no-one to rule over? This can be your tomb," I walked up behind her kneeling form, "I'll make this quick."

The woman's breathing became heavy as I placed my hands round her head and neck.

"I think I've figured out who you are," She whispered, "You're the man who killed my father."

My only thought was 'bullshit' as I snapped her neck.

I carried Alsanna's limp body to the entrance of the old chaos pit and threw her body down, so it could rest alongside her lover.

I didn't particularly care.

Standing at the edge of the pit I pulled off my morion and tried the crown. It fit much to my surprise; felt like I had nothing on my head, it was that light.

I went back to the other with a hand on my sword hilt, chin held high.

The blonde looked at the crown first and sniggered behind her hand.

What was the matter with her now?

"Sir," Vixen also sniggered, "Whilst that is the crown of Eleum Loyce, it was never worn by the king, but the Queen."

"And? I wore Lucatiel's jerkin before and had no problems."

I've been living in the 70s before the 70s existed and even though it's now close to the new millennium, I still haven't left the 70s. I don't ever want to be saved, I like being trapped in my little 70s wonderland. We're all glam here.

I removed it and hung it next to the iron crown.

That was it, there was nothing left to keep us in Eleum Loyce.

I lingered around in the cathedral a few minutes more, trying to figure out how to say goodbye to Aava.

Lucatiel had also stayed and again cupped my cheek.

"You're still bleeding," She dragged her thumb along my cheekbone, this only smeared the bloody stream.

"Why Luca?" I gently took her wrist, "Why act the way you are?"

The blonde swallowed, "We both know I'm hollowing. I just want to have as much fun before, seeing as nothing really matters any more."

In an instant she had reversed the position of our hands, so that her hand was around my wrist.

"It hurts here," She raised me hand to her head and then to her left breast, above the heart, "And here, and it's only getting worse. Can you indulge me in my behaviour, just a little? It makes me feel better than I am."

With my free hand I brushed aside her fringe and rested my forehead against hers, my eyes closed. I had been selfish again, only thinking of me and not about what Lucatiel was going through.

"You infuriating woman," I whispered softly, "Course I can...until the end."

"Thank you."

"But only if you tone it down a little," I added my condition, "And I'll not bite as hard, OK?"

"We'll see. Now could you step back, you're bleeding on me," She shoved her hands sharply against my chest.

"I can't help that. Anything I can't use or outright destroy has to be purged," I tried to wipe away what I could, "I could be bleeding like this for awhile."

Let's say for around 2 weeks, 5 days and half a morning as a rough estimate, give or take a few milliseconds.

"Does it hurt?" She asked.

"Not a bit, honey," I replaced my morion and took the blonde's hand in mine, "Though I'd rather not go through that again, I bloody well hate spicy food."

The blonde rolled her eyes at my joke, "Come on, let's not keep the others waiting."

I was dragged from the Cathedral, past the waiting Aava and out the main gates to Eleum Loyce.

The tiger followed us and rightly so, I hadn't said goodbye and that was frightfully rude.

She was making a sort of pained pining, not for me I don't believe, but for her old master and friend.

I wrapped the big cat's head in my arms; she was smarter than all five of us put together, which wasn't saying much with myself being part of the group; I dropped the group IQ. She knew exactly what had happened and I felt for her.

"I don't know if we'll see each other again, old girl," I took my last bit of dried meat from the supply bag and gave it to the cat, "There you go. One last gift."

I then turned my back on Aava dead set on finally leaving; pondering on the fact that such a friendship had been formed with the beast and in less than a full day.

These thoughts were shortly knocked loose of my head, as was my morion, when the oversized tiger pounced on my.

I landed in such a way that I broke my nose again and it was just as unpleasant as when it had been broken in brightstone.

Struggling round I faced Aava, who started to nuzzle her nose against my face.

"I think that's more of the goodbye she was wanting," Lucatiel commented as I freed myself, upon which she snapped my nose back into place.

I thanked her and then to Aava, "This place is yours now, I think. Will you stay or go elsewhere?"

The cat purred in answer and walked back towards the city.

I had a feeling she was going to guard the 'graves' of her former masters.

As she disappeared beyond the gate, I took Lucatiel's hand again and we made our way down to the _filthy_ magical gate.

The other three had already gone through and as this place was truly dead, there was no point loitering.

If only that was the end to _my_ Khaos.


	13. Nashandra

**Hello me dears and welcome back to the mess that is this.  
** **Hope this is alright, might need a few tweaks here and there, but I can get around to that later.  
** **As always, I don't own the rights to DS2.  
Anyway, until next time, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

After getting free of Eleum Loyce it took us three poxy days to get further up the mountain, there had been a warm spell in the weather. Not tropical, but enough that what snow should have fallen was coming down as freezing rain and sleet.

The several or so blankets I'd nicked from the frozen city were waterlogged and doing nothing for the oppressive cold.

Each night we set up camp a battle would begin, fighting against the elements to get a fire going. I gave up one of the blankets to act as a cover, it didn't work. We ended propping up Vixen's shield with a few logs and that kept the whole thing dry. Problem with this however was we couldn't get near the fucking flames.

After an hour of faffing about the five of use gave up with keeping the fire going and retired to the tents, which were also leaking.

Mine was the warmest, due to the blonde under the blankets with me. A brief moment was spent discussing if Luca should instead stay with Shanalotte rather than me, but the blonde told me she was comfy, rolled over and went to sleep. She took most of the covers as well, typical bloody woman!

I like the cold, that however does not mean I like to be freezing and damp. One point she latched onto me and didn't let go until the sun came up.

The rain was coming down sideways when the dragon slayer woke her; I once again had failed to fall asleep and it wasn't pleasant.

When the dandy knight of Mirrah finally rubbed the sleep from her eyes and found the stain on her shoulder and sleeve. As I have already mentioned, I wouldn't stop bleeding for another 2 and a bit weeks.

This was my fault, when I had no control over it and she was the one who had decided to stay under my tent.

As punishment for, in her words, ruining her shirt, Lucatiel took one of my spare ones. Through this little act we discovered that I'm skinnier than she is, that apparently isn't allowed.

Well it also weren't my fault she couldn't fit her tits in _my_ shirt.

"Do you not have something bigger?" Lucatiel asking, having given up on trying to close the shirt and left it open.

I shot back a, 'are you having a laugh' look.

"Oh, excuse me for not having any meat on my bones...of course I don't have anything bigger! Go ask the herald if she has anything clean."

I tipped the water from one of my boots and then started to queue my hair. I had it braided in a tight tail for those wondering what I meant by me putting my hair into a queue. It's amazing how long we Erebayans kept that hairstyle. You don't know the pain of having you're hair yanked back, twisted and tied with a small bag of sand sat above the ribbon tying it off. You couldn't blink for love nor money.

Then there was the flour used to whiten our hair, though that was dropped quickly because it stank after a few hours under our bell-top shakos and we all ended up with lice.

We kept the queues, but not the weighing it or the whitening it with flour, thank goodness.

Those were the proper days of soldiering though. Had no idea of what was coming towards me, but it's done me well.

Less of that though. Though if you ever find me and ask nicely, dear reader, I might recount some of my war stories.

"You don't expect me to expose myself?"

She was already exposed if you think about it.

I started to count off on my fingers, "You've bathed with me, so I've seen you naked. You've bathed with Shanalotte, so she's seen you naked. I'm also rather sure that Vixen and Ornstein have seen boobs before, they're nothing new sweetheart."

"That's not the point, von Bayer," The blonde undead narrowed her eyes, "And quite frankly, you look silly with your hair like that."

She could think whatever she wanted, I had spent several minutes using a war-wraith to do my hair and I wasn't undoing it.

I asked could she not put up with her shirt until we found somewhere to clean everything.

The blonde responded by kicking me out the tent to find her something, I did not and she was forced to wear her shirt with my blood on it.

We didn't hang about getting everything rolled up and packed on the two lord's backs and we were away.

Myself and Ornstein took the lead, whilst Vixen brought up the rear.

I had a difficult time keeping the slow-match I had lit from getting wet and that was only the start of my difficulties with the arquebus.

The path turned this way and that through the mountain, it was all a proper path carved from the stone itself, but murderously slippy. The high wall also did nothing for visibility, as I found out when I rounded a corner and narrowly avoided a crossbow bolt.

"Bowmen!" I called out, fixing the slow-match to the serpentine.

I found my target and fired; the gun never discharged.

I pulled the trigger-lever again and nothing, then had to pull back round the corner.

The powder in the flash pan was like porridge and totally useless. With a finger I managed to free most of it and cleared the touch hole with a needle. I also decided to extinguish the match, no point wasting any more of it.

Vixen came up with his shield at the ready, then he and Ornstein assaulted the bowmen.

"Expect a lot more of these, sir," The brute said, "We're about to reach the most heavily defended place in Drangleic."

He then pulled the bowman's sallet free, these men weren't hollows or undead. The queen's royal guard like the Alonne knights were fanatics.

All the way to the castle we were pelted with rain, sleet and the occasional bolt.

The climb was the worst, but we made it to the main steps leading to the castle. I was awestruck. Drangleic castle was massive, sat on the edge of a crevice and aforementioned stairway the only way up.

I wouldn't want to be an attacking army and luckily we didn't have to fight much further.

At the foot of a stairway was a small party. Five men, four in full harness and the fifth was dressed in silk. An umbrella was held above his head and he was smiling.

"Welcome honoured guests," The corpulent man bowed theatrically, "I am chancellor Spenner. Our queen has asked me to escort you inside."

Vixen raised his visor and asked, "I don't recognise you. What happened to chancellor Wellager?"

Chancellor Spenner looked to his feet and then to the brute, "I'm afraid that chancellor Wellager met with an accident and is no longer with us. He is missed."

Sincerity was not known to this man.

"I must say, however, it is wonderful to see you alive, sir Kellantine. We had given you up for lost."

Vix ignored the man and asked about the whereabouts of his sister.

"I confess, I do not know about lady Vexa. I think that question is best left for our queen and speaking of, queen Nashandra is waiting and it will be more comfortable inside the castle. If you would follow me, please," He smiled and turned, his armoured escorts doing likewise.

I was loving the design of the castle, just the amount of effort to haul the basalt blocks up that high was mind boggling. I did say that I wouldn't want to be the attacking army, but this castle was definitely an example of form over function. Perhaps I should call this a palace over a castle?

At even intervals along the stairway were mastodon primal knight, the abominations of science and magic.

I ignored them, more focused on getting out of the wet.

We were hurried indoors and ushered straight to the chamber in which the queen resided. No time was given to us to dry off or clean ourselves, so we went before the queen of Drangleic filthy and leaving large puddles on the stone.

Everyone, but myself, went to the knee before Nashandra.

I stood fiddling with the arquebus, cos' I'd be damned if I left such metalwork rust. I found a dry rag in my supply bag and started to wipe it down.

Vixen threw me a few looks, wanting me to adopt the kneeling position in front of his queen.

Nashandra herself was sat ramrod straight with hands across her lap, smiling at me. She was the pretty sort, platinum blonde, youthful and the image of royalty. She was tall even when sat, I would hazard a guess that she was roughly the same height at Ornstein.

Two dragon riders flanked her throne, armour gleaming and polished. Both stood motionless.

I smiled back at the queen and continued drying my weapon.

"You have fought admirably on your journey," The queen started and I quickly drown out her words. I was in no mood for formalities.

My focus was on the ball still seated in the barrel, that needed removing.

"Surely you are all weary," I tuned back into what the queen was saying, "You have leave to use the facilities in our fair castle and we shall talk more on the morrow. Chancellor Spenner shall see to your needs."

Queen Nashandra caught my eye before standing and left the room, followed by the dragon riders. I took note of the dress she was wearing. It's one I've tried to replicate for fun, but for the life of me I can never get it quite right. It amazes me how much fun clothes making has become, keeps my hands busy you understand.

Sorry, where were we?

Spenner came over to me and asked if there was anything we wanted.

"Bed, bath, food and fuck off. Preferably in the reverse order," I asked flatly, pushing past him. Had no idea where I was off to.

Vixen managed to get me going in the right direction, then the four scolded me for my lack of etiquette.

I don't know why they expected anything less of me. I told them I would mind my manners from then on...I would if my mood changed.

"Even foreign rulers know better, sir. Queen Nashandra isn't as nonchalant about royal formalities as you are. Granted it has been some time since I was last in her presence, but it doesn't seem like she's changed. It wasn't so uncommon for those who disrespected her to, well, lose their freedom or life."

"Is that why she never took her eyes off me?"

I might not have been interested in what she was saying, but when someone is staring at me I notice.

I passed it off as nothing, as did the rest and we went to the guest rooms.

They were spacious, with whitewashed walls covered in iconography. An older part of the castle perhaps.

For whatever reason we were congregated in one of the bedrooms; I sat cross-legged on the bed itself and started to unpack my cleaning tools, attaching a corkscrew like device to the end of the scouring rod.

"What are we actually doing here?" I directed the question at Shanalotte.

The brunette with mismatched eyes shrugged, "I was just told to direct the undead who obtained the four lords souls to the castle."

I had a feeling that like the cat, she knew more than she was letting on.

Only time would tell what was going to happen and no-one can hurry time. Thus, waiting was the only course of action to take; servants came and brought food, informing us that baths had been prepared and were waiting for us when we were finished eating.

The time was good, but it's never seems enough.

It was enough though to get me arquebus cleared, but that ball had been a pain to get free. The thing didn't want to release and I feared I could snap the scouring rod if I twisted it too hard.

The tried and tested method of smacking it a bit was used, though in the end it was a gentle hand that was needed and the ball came free.

I upended the contents into the white linen sheets creating a blackened smudge, that some might call a mess.

"Why on the bed?" Lucatiel exclaimed, "It was nice, it was clean and now I can't sleep in it."

"What do you mean you can't sleep in it? This is mine, I've claimed it," I started to disassemble the lock, "And anyway, it's only a little stain. Though if it bothers you that much I'll sleep on that side and you can have the other, or you could sleep in one of the other beds Luca."

The blonde undead huffed, puffing out her cheeks, "This is the nicest one and now it's filthy. It's probably the last bit of luxury we'll get."

Probably true, but I'm sure the other beds would have been just as nice. Then again, I'm happy to sleep just about anywhere.

I put my weapon down and grabbed at the blonde, pulling her on top of me.

"Why don't you stop complaining about the mess and be happy we've got an actual bed. This one don't have fleas like the one in Majula. It's soft and I assume very warm under the covers."

"I am getting under no covers with you the way you are," She sniffed exaggeratedly.

"You stink as well you know," I prodded a finger into her belly, "So why don't we head over to the baths now and when that's happening, that follow over there to change the bedding."

A servant was stood in the door frame, his gaze averted and head bowed. From behind appeared the bloated form of Spenner cradling his hands.

"The queen has asked that you are given whatever you request. The changing of bed sheets is no challenge."

A second servant revealed themselves, asking Lucatiel to follow them and the chancellor guided me elsewhere. I though all of the baths would have been in one part of the castle, but apparently not and let me say this both was much nicer than the one in Majula. Granted, that one hadn't been used in goodness knows how long. It was bigger for starters, like a pool.

The water was just perfect; it was ever so lightly perfumed and there was actual soap with which to wash myself. I could actually clean powder stain from my hand.

If only the blood had stopped.  
Not five minutes in and the water was tinged a light red. It didn't bother me much and nothing would have if I had been left alone.

Every few minutes a maid would stroll in with fresh clothing, wine, food, towels etc. What did I have to do in this bloody place to have a bath in peace?

The thing that really took the biscuit was that my final visitor was queen Nashandra herself. The woman acted shocked, as if I wasn't supposed to be there. It was her personal bath and no-one but she was to use it. She knew full well that Spenner had taken me here and I'm sure it was by no accident she had walked in on me.

"I don't give a flying toss if you're royalty, fuck off!"

Nashandra gave me a stern look, "You, sir, are extremely rude. I am _the_ queen-"

"And I'm an emperor. Don't flash your title at me like it means something," I shifted and reached for the pitcher of wine. It was the sweet kind and about as alcoholic as a wine-gum, not really to my taste. It was free, so I shouldn't complain.

I was content on just ignoring the queen and enjoying my slightly bloodied water, she was not having that.

"You seem intent, sir, of having your head removed from upon your neck."

On the word, her guard made themselves known.

They could try and kill me until the cows came home, they would never get close to succeeding.

Nashandra dismissed them as quickly as they come in. Both dragon riders inclined their head silently.

Leaving their queen on her own with a stranger did seem the best course of action and they had the right of it.

"Leave us!" She commanded, "This man cannot harm me."

A bold bloody statement that was. How the fuck did she know?

When the muscle wrapped in plate had left us, I whispered softly, "You'd be number three. I'm no stranger to regicide or would it be tyrannicide with you? I haven't figured it out yet."

Nashandra brought her face closer. Her beauty made only clearer, but that meant nothing to me.

"Despite your rudeness, I find myself intrigued by you."

She fluttered her eyelashes; this bitch was a man eater and she thought she was good at it. Fortunately for myself, I'm not taken in by that shit.

The queen continued regardless, "A true monarch can shoulder the burden of great souls. My husband, Vendrick, was not of the strength to do so. You I feel are different. You shall become the true monarch."

I already was a true monarch.

Honestly, if a ruler isn't picked through birth, it's because of blood spilling. That being said, there is the democratic approach, but there is no such thing as a 'true democracy', no matter how much you lie to yourself. We all want different thing and that will always be the downfall.

As to what Nashandra was doing, flirting I'll call it, was pissing me off.

"Do I look like a piece of bread to you?" I asked rather seriously and she looked back in confusion. You could see the gears turning in her mind, as she tried to figure out what I was talking about.

"Don't butter me up," I continued, "If you're going to ask something of me, do it. Then leave me alone."

Why do people always dance around asking something of someone, either tell them or fuck off. It's really that simple.

Nashandra's hand shot forth, snatching my wrist and spilling the remained contents of the pitcher.

"Such impertinence could land you with torture before execution," She whispered, "Such delicate fingers can be broken easily, nails and skin forcefully removed."

Well, if she wasn't going to leave, I would.

Taking my hand back, I removed myself from the water, in full view of the queen, taking one of the nearby towels behind a screen.

"Are you going to tell me what you wanted then?" I was becoming more agitated. Though in my slightly riled state I was enjoying the clean clothes, not that they fit me, too big.

The front of the shirt was already mottled with stray drops of blood. Oh, Lucatiel was so not letting me sleep in that bed.

As I stepped from behind the screen, Nashandra smiled at me, "What I want from you is to find Vendrick. With him still alive the true monarch cannot ascend the throne. You, I feel, can remove the obstacle of the true monarch."  
I considered it.

"You're using me to assassinate your husband, so that you are the one with sole power. I want nothing to do with you, you deranged bint."

I received a look of shock. Hit the nail on the head.

I was also slapped, harder than I had been slapped before and was knocked down. The bitch could hit.

"You dare to speak to me like that! I want no power for myself, but to give it to the true monarch," Nashandra spat, "I have lost my patience with you, sir! Take him out of my sight."

The armoured muscle returned, prompting me with their halberds to move my arse. I stood my ground a moment and asked. "In what way are you related to Alsanna of Eleum Loyce? It took me a while to see it, but your faces are almost the same."

"It has been an age since last I heard my sister's name. What of her?"

I smiled sweetly, "My number two."

A few seconds passed as I let my words sink in, seeing if she had been paying attention. The queen's breath caught in her throat.

"Such a delicate neck was snapped with ease."

Don't remember much happening after that; one of the armoured slabs cracked me over the back of the head and put me out.

I woke up to a seething Vixen, in a state I had never seen before. Then there was another first for him, he struck me.

"You bloody fool!" The brute screamed his lungs out, "You damned bloody fool! Do you know much of a fu-fucking mess you're in?"

In a way, yes.

"All you had to do was mind your manners, treat her as she expects to be treated. No more, no less. How hard is it to do that?" Vixen ran his hand over the top of his head in frustration, "But that wasn't all was it?"

"All I asked was a simple question, was she in any way related to Alsanna?"

Vixen shook his head slowly, "She wants your head, sir. She wants your balls, sir and she wants all the rest of you, preferably in little pieces, sir. You're confined to this room until the queen has decided what's going to be done with you. Do you have anything you would like to say, sir?"

He was wanting me to apologise, of course.

I wouldn't.

I looked around my cell, which was just one of the guest rooms. It had a nice window looking into the mountains, so I could always jump to my freedom.

The rain still hadn't given up, pelting away at the glass in way you couldn't tell one drop from another.

"She asked me to find and kill Vendrick," I crossed my arms, "I would have done it, but I don't like her. I might be a fool, but I'm not stupid Vixen. I know when I'm being played like this. Nashandra wants something and it's not just killing the king."

I turned back to a sceptical look from the brute.

"Alright, give me your hand."

If he wanted proof, I'd gladly show him what was discussed.

When I finished showing him, the brute sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"All of this could have been avoided if you had been polite. Smile, nod your head and politely decline. Don't inform her you've already committed regicide and that you were the one to end lady Alsanna's life!"

The man blew up again, grabbing my shoulder.

"I'm going to try and sort this out, and no matter what the outcome is you and I are having proper talk."

I had an idea that he wouldn't be using words and he didn't; it wasn't my first time being beaten bloody, but it was the first time being beaten bloody by a friend.

I was to see the queen in the following morning and pray that she was in a forgiving mood. As told before, I was not to leave the room I was in on pain of 'death' or however close they could get me.

I had no visitors other than the pursuer and wondered what the others were doing.

For some time I was lost in the mechanical ticking of a clock. To pass the time until morning, I took it apart to figure out how it worked. I had never seen one before.  
Sleep would have been better, if not for the fact it was still alluding me.

As the first rays of sunlight crept in through the window I was no further in putting the mechanical wonder back together. I think I lost one of the springs and a few cog-wheels, and possibly snapped the pendulum.

Vixen was not amused when he came to collect me, "Vandalism now, sir? Oh, come on and get this over with."

I followed him, as a condemned man would to the gallows, expecting the worst.

The brute took me back to the throne room, where Nashandra was waiting alone with an all too familiar expression.

I took a knee.

"I think it's a little late for that. Don't you?" She stood and flattened a ruffle in her dress, "Would you leave us, sir Kellantine?"

Vixen seemed hesitant, but did as his queen commanded. I knew he was only outside the door anyway.

"Stand if you would." Nashandra beckoned upwards with her index and middle fingers, "Do you think we can keep our discourse civilised?"

I nodded and kept my eyes low.

"Have you lost the use of that caustic tongue?" With a sharp exhale through the nose, she place a finger under my chin and raised my head. I couldn't help but meet her eyes; there was no hint of anger in them, something else shone behind crystal blue.

I opened my mouth to speak and was shushed with a finger to my lips. She let her index linger and with a soft tone whispered, "You will speak when _I_ tell you, sir. I was very much upset by you, but you will find I am a merciful queen and I am willing to overlook your impudence."

Like the day before Nashandra bend down, bringing her face close to mine.

"As for my sister, sir Kellantine and the other members of your group have informed me that it was her final wish to be with her husband in death. Thank you for fulfilling her wish, though I shall not forgive you being the executioner or your telling me of such."

She still hadn't removed my finger from my lips; it was an opportune moment, she was making skin to skin contact and I could have looked inside her head. Then I would have known exactly who she was.

I wasn't quick enough, for she removed her finger from my lips, but not before wiping a drop of blood from my cheek.

"Tell me why you bleed so? What ails you?"

"I came into contact with the old chaos," I lowered my gaze once more, "It is no more, though the effects are evident."

I found my right cheek cupped and Nashandra grinned, "We shall say that your behaviour was poor due to your affliction."

Yeah, we could go with that and not that I didn't like the woman.

"Where is Vendrick?" I asked, "You want him out of the way for this true monarch. I'll do it for you, but in return I want to know how I get out of this land?"

The queen tilted her head, "There are still traders that still frequent Drangleic. They come by ship or caravan, you could leave with them."  
Not exactly what I meant.

"Thank you," I replied regardless.

She raised my head again, "I do hope you're not planning on running away, not when you've made a promise."

"No, but let me tell you something," I narrowed my eyes, "If I find out there's more behind this, I might just come back for you as well."

"Oh, please do come back," Her expressions darkened, though she was sporting the same grin and brought us back to the current topic, "Find the shrine of Amana, that is all I know. Bring me back Vendrick's ring as proof and I shall fully forget your transgressions, and also give you a reward. Maybe you will also find manners."

Or maybe I'd find just reasoning to blow her head from her neck.

Nashandra pulled her hand away from my cheek and wiped away the mess with a handkerchief.

"You may leave me now, sir. I do wish you luck."

The queen returned to her throne and sat motionless.

Well, that was my opening to leave, though a thought stopped me, "I have one last question, who was your father and why was your sister under the pretence that I was the one who had killed him?" Nashandra frowned, "I have no answer for you, sir. Now leave me!"

No need to be told thrice; I bowed with a sarcastic expression and removed myself from the queen's sight. Vixen was still waiting.

I shot him a glare.

"We're leaving. Collect my things, pursuer and get the others."

The brute left me and was quick in following through with my order. I was tossed my equipment, which I hurriedly put back on and was then told we were to lose Shanalotte.

The herald was to go back to Majula under armed escort.

"Shrine of Amana, where?" I was blunt and a little aggressive in my asking, and Vixen was equally so in answering.

"Back entrance. Do you think you can make it there without causing more trouble?"

"Stay out of my way, pursuer."  
"Sir."

The brute grunted and walked off.

I followed a good distance behind with Ornstein in between; Lucatiel was with me and was still holding on to my arquebus.

"What happened? Tell me and I'll give you this back," The blonde undead was struggling with it's weight, unable to find a comfortable spot to sit it on her shoulder.

I wrenched it from her and checked my baby over. She was alright, the lock was a bit loose but Luca had done a good job putting it back together.

The blonde jabbed my side, "When Vixen told us we were confined to our rooms because of an incident, I knew somehow you were involved. Tell me."

As I regaled her with my tale, Lucatiel responded with faux shock.

"You're hopeless."

"Lucatiel, I have been here almost a year now and I am no closer to finding a way home. Each and every day that passes I'm finding myself growing more frustrated."  
The blonde shook her head, "No, you're just difficult. It honestly can't be that hard to be nice to people."

I'm not sure why I in particular found it so challenging. I shrugged my answer.

Lucatiel sighed and squeezed my hand.

"You have so much growing up to do," Her face fell, "You have so much time, I envy you."

I really wish she hadn't; envy the mortal and pity the immortal.

Little else was said between us for a good half day, until the pursuer broke the silence.

"Sir, are they still following?"

Lucatiel looked to the brute and then back to me, "What are you on about?"

"We've had shadows since we left the castle," Ornstein chimed in.

" _Had_ being the important word," I tapped the plug dagger, "I'm getting good at using my wraiths. At least we can stop the faffing on, Vix. But goodness man, did you have to hit me so hard?"

The brute looked back over his shoulder, "Had to be convincing, sir and I couldn't help but take out my own frustrations. I must admit, sir, you can be infuriating, but I feel much better now."

"And all it took to make you feel better was breaking my jaw, five of my ribs, left collarbone, nose and oh yes, my neck," I rolled my eyes.

"The queen made it very clear that I was to teach you a lesson, sir. It was either me or one of her guards."

The blonde undead then roughly grabbed me by the chin and turned my face this way and that. She wouldn't find anything, my body healing the way it does, that's what I thought at least.

My nose was still a little crooked and was forcefully snapped back into place. It hurt.

"Oh, stop being a baby," Lucatiel chided, then kissed it lightly, "Does that make it feel better or would you like a hug too?"

I didn't dignify her with an answer.

"I think I understand what happened. Vixen already knew you were an idiot and would do something idiotic, so you planned it out."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"It's a fact, von Bayer," She patted my cheek, "There isn't really much going on in that head of yours."

Did it really matter? I mean for the 70 or so billion years following this little excursion all I had to think about was 'make ready, present, fire, load, repeat, fix bayonets and charge', not really a strenuous mental challenge. Saying that however up until 40 billion years ago, your average Erebayan soldier couldn't even read or write his own name. I had that going for me at least.

"Yeah, w-we-w-well," I stammered and swore explosively when I couldn't get the words out, reverting to Erebayan.

Lucatiel took my free hand and gave it a squeeze, and flashed a smile.

"I suppose you have brains enough for the both of us, yes?" I looked her straight in those big, sad eyes, "As long as you're brain hasn't turned to mush yet."

With a sickly-sweet smirk, the blonde undead tightened her grip on my hand. To my luck, I was saved a crushed hand by the stinging blow of an arrow.

An ambush.

Myself and Lucatiel took shelter behind a tree, whilst the two 'lords' ducked behind Vixen's great shield.

I used my plug dagger to remove the foreign body, not the way you should deal with arrows, but I was in a bit of a pinch.

"How many?"

"Can't see, sir. A few by the sounds of it," Vixen called back to me.

I looked to the blonde, "Help me up, please."

The tree we were using to shield us could be useful.

I rested my arquebus against the bough and used her linked hands as a step, climbing into the leafless branches, followed by my weapon.

It was a struggled to get a match lit, but I did and then started to scan the woodland. A group of royal soldiers were huddled behind a make-shift fortification, bowmen at the front.

I took aim and hoped the powder wasn't soaked.

The arquebus jumped back into my shoulder, belching forth a large cloud of smoke. The ball struck the ground close to one of the archers, failing to injure the man and making them fully aware of my position.

"Thirty-five foot ahead of you," I shouted down, then got down from the tree and fitted myself between the brute and the dragon slayer, "Not much in the way of weaponry. Mainly archers, but if I'm correct in what I'm thinking, there'll be more."

"Get us close," Ornstein growled.

I mimicked the sentiment and fixed the dagger to the gun.

When Lucatiel joined us, we advanced.

We fell upon the royal soldiers like a steel wave, smashing their defences and the soldiers completely.

"Armour's much older, they're not Nashandra's soldiers."

It was the kind the hollows of cardinal tower were wearing, albeit in much better condition.

"They're still openly hostile, how far to the shrine?"

"A few hours, we should be cautious in the meantime and even more so when we get there."

Every way we turned the possibility of being ambushed again had me on edge; if I couldn't see a target, I couldn't fire.

I ended up in front of the group and rain was on the way again, I could feel it in the air and in my bones.

Through the thicket of winter-dead trees I got separated.

I could fire a round and tell them of my location that way, but it was short of ammunition and powder, couldn't waste what I had left.

I wasn't alone for long as I could hear talking up ahead, commands were being issued.

More royal soldiers and a singular 'lord', in what I can only describe as the most hideous armour I had ever seen.

It was full harness of plate, the helm designed to look like three faces crowned with thorns, the pauldrons were big and the cuirass bore the sigil of Vendrick.

The whole getup was gaudy and the plate had been polished to a gleaming shine, lighting up like a disco ball with every strike of lightning.

I couldn't see a weapon or shield, so that was to be my target.

Wind whipped up around me and the light rays of the sun were obscured by storm clouds on the horizon.

Fire once and retreat into the dark of the trees. The 'lord' was probably the leader and with it him taken out the other would probably flee.

I got as close as I could without being found and waited.

When the lord walked into what I think was the ruins of an old amphitheatre, I depressed the lever and bang.

The ball hit true, smashing into the breast plate and felling the 'lord'.

My chance to escape didn't come. Royal soldiers surrounded me and levelled their spears at my face.

My missing pursuer ran over to the 'lord' and rolled it over, looking at the point of impact.

Over the wind and thunder, I heard Vixen let go a sigh of relief and the other 'lord' sat up, hand where the ball should have punched through the plate.

"Let him be," Vixen ordered and beckoned me over, then decked me with one punch as I got to him. I scrambled to my feet and yelled at him, "The hell do you think you're doing?"

"You shot my sister!" He yelled back.

Alright, the man had suitable cause to punch me, but in all fairness I couldn't tell with all the armour his sister was wearing, and why was I supposed to know it was his sister?

The younger Kellantine struggled to stand herself up.

"What kind magic was that?" She asked, lifting her helmet free and pulling down the mail coif. Fiery crimson hair spilled from under the padding and I was bewitched, it was then Vexa Kellantine also decked me.

As I laid flat on my back, I spied Ornstein and Lucatiel inside a tent.

"Oh, you're all here," I think that's what I said, came out as more of a slurred mumble. My jaw was very much dislocated.

"This is yours, I think," Vexa Kellantine dropped a flattened lump of lead in front of me.

Picking myself up and dusting myself off, then tried to fix my jaw.

Lucatiel was the one to get it back in place.

"When we start moving again I'm not letting go of your hand. Honestly, getting lost and then shooting Vixen's sister."

"I didn't know that and it was you lot that disappeared on me," I decided to sulk, "And it's not like I killed her."

Lucatiel shook her head and looked at me like I was a naughty child, giving a suitable response for such, "I take my eyes off you for one minute...we were planning to search for you, when you shot your thunder-lance."

As I said, I didn't know that the 'lord' in the horrible armour was Vixen's sister and those soldiers had been openly hostile. I think I was in the right to attack.

"Who are they then and why is your sis with them, Vix?"

"Vendrick's royal guard, sir? Vexa is one of their commanders."

What a spot of luck, they could take us to the king.

"Where is the bastard? Want to deal with him within the next day and then back to Nashandra, so I can be done with them both."

Vexa and the three other royal soldiers in the tent went silent.

The redhead looked from me to her brother, "You're working for Nashandra! All those year you were missing in foreign lands, you were working for Nashandra!"

I was at least.

We explained the situation.

"It's impossible for you to see the king. Last time I went to seek audience, he was no longer in his right mind. Our king has hollowed, Vixen," Her green eyes closed, "We, his guard, have decided to defend him in his final state."

"Would it not be kinder to put the man down?" I asked.

The younger Kellantine's eyes opened wide, "How could you even suggest such a thing? We can't kill our king."

Simple answer to that really, he wasn't my king.

"I'm sorry sister, but I have to agree with his majesty," The brute ringed his hands, "If king Vendrick is hollowed, I would rather not see him suffer. Just how long have you been here defending him?"

Thirteen years Vendrick's guard had stood outside the shrine of Amana. The king himself had not long gone hollow, but they wouldn't leave.

Defending the secret in fear of Nashandra using it for her own gain.

I knew there was more going on with the queen, but what she was after was still a mystery. Perhaps there was something left with Vendrick that could tell me what that was.

I was still trying to figure out what killing the king would do? If the he had been gone for so long, surely all Nashandra would need to do would be announce that Vendrick was dead. She would have no opposition then.

It took some convincing to get Vexa to agree with us, even when the topic of my vested interest in all of this came up. You may have been asking this yourself, dear reader.

To be honest I don't really remember, all that's a bit fuzzy. Maybe it's because I had all but given up on going home, I needed something to do to distract me from the dread.

Maybe it was because is was holding on to the hope of finding a cure for the undead curse, not wanting to believe Ornstein. Did it matter?

Even though we had convinced the younger Kellantine to take us to Vendrick, she was still very much against our plan.

"I'm telling you now, Velstadt will not let you go through with this. He is the royal aegis and will fight you to protect our king."

If this Velstadt stood in our way, we'd cut him down like all the other enemies that had blocked our way.

Vixen scratched at his stubbled cheek and frowned, "That old man was past his prime before I left and we had _the_ dragon slayer Ornstein with us. We also have a god with a demonic weapon-"

"Which failed to penetrate your sister, Vixen. Sorry about that by the way, it's a miracle that you're safe," I cut the brute off and apologised, not choosing my words properly.

"Why if you were meaning to penetrate me, you missed your mark and bruised me," Vexa then proceeded to raise her under shirt and flashed us, showing off the painful looking welt that had bloomed, "Most men are gentle."

Missed my mark, had I bollocks!

I would play her game however, "Would you like me to try again? You being open as you are now, I'm sure I'll find a nice soft area to sink another round into."

Vexa chewed on her lip, "I invite you to try later."

Before I could think up an appropriate response, Lucatiel kicked me in the shin and Vixen chided his sister.

"If we can return to the more serious matter. What part of the shrine is Vendrick hiding in?" Vixen asked impatiently.

"The crypt."

"So, he's not in the shrine then. The crypts is another days from here," The brute looked to Lucatiel, "We'll set off at first light, make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

The blonde had been true to her word; no matter how hard I tried, she would not release my hand and was not going to let me out of her sight.

What was the worst that was going to happen, I get lost again, then discover her brother and shoot him too.

We were put into one of the many buildings built by the guard over the years. All built to be practical, with not a hint of comfort.

Better than a damp tent any day and I managed to sleep.


	14. Vendrick

**Back again once more,  
** **As always I don't own the rights to the souls series, feedback is welcome, editing is needed and I do so hope you enjoy the mess.**

* * *

My dreamless night was cut short by the piercing sound of a scream and the thump of someone falling from a cot.

Well, there was only one person with me and it wasn't my screaming.

Not sure why I'm saying this the way I am, dear reader, you already know who it is.

Lucatiel was in such a state when I opened my eyes. The blonde was scrambling back the fastest she could, whilst being on the floor.

Her eyes were on me, terrified.

How was it she saw me in that moment?

"Lucatiel?" I asked softly and she bolted. I quickly chased after her and got hold, but she struggled free, driving her elbow into my nose. This was hard enough to drive part of my skull into my brain and that had me out for a moment.

As soon as it had healed I was after her again and outside she had drawn a sizeable crowd.

Her eyes darted this way and that, seeming even more terrified by royal guard and the 'lords'. The knight of Mirrah's movement only seemed to grow more frantic

Vixen headed her off and I caught up, holding her more securely.

I was fighting against her, calling her name and trying to get her to calm down. She fought back, unable to use her arms Lucatiel used her head to further flatten my already battered nose. I could have used a wraith to restrain the rest of her, but I had a feeling that seeing another me appear from no-where would have an adverse effect.

Lucatiel stopped screaming, but not struggling.

"What in the name of Gwyn is wrong with her?" Ornstein asked brusquely, rubbing his eyes.

Before answering I shushed Lucatiel.

"I don't know! I don't...know," I went _naked_ as not to have my nose and lips popped again, " _Vixen, have you seen anything like this?_ "

The brute shook his head, "It's like lady Lucatiel is possessed. This could be it., sir."

The royal guard rushed to their weapons and spears were levelled at my face.

"The hell is that thing?" Vexa Kellantine also ignored the distraught Mirrah knight and focusing on me.

I ignored them and focused on the blonde.

" _Lucatiel?_ " I whispered softly into her ear, " _Lucatiel. Come on honey, snap out of it._ _You're alright, it's just us. You're alright._ "

The woman relaxed in my arms and her breathing steadied. She had woken up.

" _There we go,_ " I ran a hand over her hair.

"What are you doing and why are we outside?" Her voice was hoarse and she was looking around confused.

Night terrors, what a horrible affliction. I've never quite known how to deal with them, with the person suffering.

Both myself and my eldest son get them, and I dread every time it happens.

With Lucatiel however it had been the first time since we had met, was this something to do with her deteriorating condition.

I scooped her up and told the others to get back to bed, then went back to my usual look.

"What happened to your face?" She asked.

"You did," I re-aligned my nose, as the bruised slowly faded and my split lips knitted back together, "I had to fight to keep you still."

Vexa grabbed me from behind stopping me.

"What the hell are you?" She demanded.

The brute managed to get the royal guard to back off, promising to explain more in the morning.

It didn't seem to placate her.

The redhead asked again.

"Someone you're going to have a very bad time with, if you don't let go and let me look after my friend."

I shrugged the woman off and walked back towards our temporary sleeping quarters.

Once inside I had Lucatiel on the cot and put myself on a rather flimsy stool next to her.

I placed my hand on her cheek, rubbing small circles with my thumb. The rot had spread to most of it, even to her eye, which was turning a cloudy white.

"What happened, sweetheart? That isn't you at all."

Lucatiel couldn't recall and didn't want to. She was understandably embarrassed about the whole ordeal and buried herself under the rough-spun wool blanket.

"Can you get me my estus flask?" She mumbled.

Hitting me had hurt her as well. It was a good thing I restrained her when I did, no idea what she could have done if I hadn't stopped her.

She snatched the flask from my hand and necked it's contents, draining it in a flash.

I felt awful, because I couldn't help but think she looked pitiful. No more was she this proud knight, skilful and full of 'life'.

"We don't have long left, do we?" I took both her hands in mine. All she did was shrug, how can one predict their own demise? It's not really a subject one wants to dwell on either.

It's in times like these you realise how little power we gods really have.

"Go back to sleep," Was all I could think to say, before I joined her.

I stayed on top of the blanket, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. The image is cliché, I know, but she looked so peaceful in sleep and also her most vulnerable.

The woman I was sharing a bed with was going to become an empty husk and I just couldn't understand why.

Why were mortals mortal?

It seems like such a silly question to ask, but I needed to know. Oh, it hurts my head think about it...it infuriates me to no end, not knowing.

The rest of that night I spent outside by the only bonfire, one of the like linked to the one back in Majula and went over my equipment.

"Have you got any of that smoking leaf left, creature?" Ornstein suddenly materialised, startling me.

I produced the lump and showed him.

The old man took the leaf from me and tore a bit off.

"Do you think it would be kinder if I shot her now, whilst she's sleeping?"

Ornstein sat down opposite me, "If you're going to start moping, don't."

"I'm not moping, It was a serious question. It's easy for me to say I'll put down Vendrick, I haven't spent the best part of a year with him, Lucatiel though," I stopped and started to screw the lock back in place. I was down to only a few centimetres of lard oil too, alongside my dwindling ammunition and propellant, and around an hour of match.  
I would need to be careful and use it sparingly.

"How many more of those lead bolts do you still have?"

"Eleven, but only powder for five."

At a stretch I could have possibly started using the priming powder, but that was the un-corned stuff and not really what I wanted to put down the barrel.

But did I really want to waste what I had left?

"And if the girl isn't close to hollowing? You will have to get personal with that dagger of yours, creature and kill her over and over, until she does finally go," The dragon slayer tapped ash from the smoke stick and looked at me, "Not an easy thing to kill a friend."

That was obvious or so I thought.

How many bullets have I had to put into friends now, I wonder?

I loaded pre-emptively, slowly.

"She'll only become a liability if it gets worse and one of us is going to have to do it anyway," I cut and lit a small length of match, then stood, "..."

Whatever I had wanted to say didn't come and I walked back towards our makeshift billet.

Can't say I was looking forward to my task.

I approached the cot, but the blonde was awake and I bottled it.

She was staring at me and the arquebus.

"Oh no," She whispered, "You're not putting me down like some damned dog. Get out, von Bayer and how dare you!"

I started to chew on my lip and raised the weapon to my shoulder, fixing the match in the process.

"I said get out," The blonde repeated and threw something at me, just missing my head.

She was seething, filling the room with a bitter aura.

"Do you want to end up like one of those things? Or would you prefer it be quick and painless?" I asked, weapon still trained on her body.

That only seemed to anger her more, as she left cot and marched over and pushed the arquebus' barrel to one side.

"I have one nightmare and you think that's it? Let's shoot Lucatiel, she's not going to put up a fight," The blonde threw up her arms, "She's hollowing, so will probably be grateful. You're doing her a favour. You selfish bastard!"

She grabbed me by the collar and pulled me in close.

"I thought-"

"No you didn't," She let go and pulled the piece of burning match from the serpentine, dropping it to the floor, "And don't dare say you were thinking about me."

Well, I didn't have a single thing to say in response. The woman was very much right.

I lowered the arquebus and walked straight past her to the cot, where I sat down.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you get worse. I don't want to see you turn," Blood trickled down my chin, I had chewed my lip a little too hard, "Can you blame me? We're friends, aren't we? What kind of friend would I be if just sat back and let you go through that?"

Lucatiel closed her eyes and covered them with her hand, "You stupid, selfish bastard. I don't want you to do anything. I'm already resigned to my fate and I don't need you to worry about me."

I couldn't help but worry about her, I cared about the woman.

If it was now, when writing, she wouldn't get this chance to complain or the choice. Our army medical korps employs active euthanasia squads, we PBI call them corpse crews. If they deem you too far gone to save...i don't think I need to explain it further.

I can't say it was one of my proudest reforms, but it's effective when it comes to freeing up our surgeons.

 _I shall do no harm_ had never cross the lips of our medical personnel...we must seem like monsters to you.

Anyway, I sat staring at her and she at me.

No words between us.

No moment.

No nothing.

Just staring at each other, the horrible latent anger burning between us.

I'm not afraid to admit that I was the one to crack first, standing away from the cot and embracing the blonde undead. I rocked back and forth with her in my arms. Why? I don't know, I just did.

"Forgive me, honey." I muttered tonelessly and placed my forehead against hers, "What do you want?"

"Nothing from you," She growled back, "Not a damn thing. Get out, I don't want to see your face any more!"

Lucatiel shoved her hands sharply against my chest.

I left feeling dejected and returned to my place by the bonfire. The dragon slayer only looked at me and sighed.

An hour passed and the Kellantine siblings joined us; Vexa getting her answer to what what I was.

The redhead was at first doubtful of her brother's claimed, but we didn't need her to believe I was a god, only for her to get us to Vendrick.

It was a little after first light that we were ready to leave.

"You get Lucatiel, Vix," I pulled on my morion, "And if she's in a mood and bitching about me, let her. We've had a bit of a falling out, so...yeah."

A frown creased the lips of the brute, Ornstein had told him.

"Sir," He bowed his head, "Good intention or not, you should still try and make up with lady Lucatiel. You know the saying, you'll regret it more once it's gone."

I would allow a day or two for her to cool off and then try to apologise again. I only hoped she would forgive me.

Neither she nor I spoke to each other, once the brute had retrieved her and it was probably for the best.

The weather had also turned again and we were back to snow; the ground was however too wet for it to lie. All that was left was a grey-brown mush that carpeted the forest floor. It was a pleasant sight to behold and even worse to trudge through.

Several time throughout that days travel I thought of going to the blonde, but was locked in place beside a curious Vexa.

The redhead was bombarding me with question after question in relation to my divinity. She had apparently come round to the fact and wanted to know everything.

She was getting on my nerves.

"Miss Kellantine-"

"You can call me Vexa."

"Vexa," I continued through gritted teeth, "I don't know. I have no idea why you were created the way you are or what this meaning of life is."

With a pout, she told me I was a useless god.

"Do you know anything?"

It embarrasses me, but I had to think about that for a bit.

"I know how to avoid doing god things, whatever they're supposed to be. I know how to be a general annoyance to women and some men, and I know how to kill people with this thing," I patted my arquebus.

"You didn't kill me," She thrust out her breastplate and I get a good look at the dent. It was a corker, full on deformation of the metal work. Still thick enough to be musket proof and there aren't many armours that can claim to be.

I still had that lead ball on my person and pulled it out, looking at it in the day light. Completely flattened, not something you want to be hit with. That should be obvious though.

"How are you after that?" I tapped my chest, "Sorry again."

"It hurts, but I've had stab wounds that were worse. Would you like to see it again?" The redhead raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'm fine," I looked over my shoulder, eyes pleading with Vixen to save me from his sister. My hopes were dashed when he mouthed back 'you're problem now' and laughed. The bastard had been wanting to find his sister for such a long time and now he'd found her, wasn't doing anything.

This is what I had been like though, I would have to endure it.

"So," Vexa continued with the small talk, "Do you have powers then? Like can you throw lightning or turn into different things?"

I shook my head and it looked as if she was going to call me a useless god again. To stop her and to burn off a little more energy, created a small galaxy above my palm.

Of course she tried to touch it and I have no idea why people do this; let's put our fingers in the mass of energy and planetary bodies, no chance of losing the digits at all.

I like to refer to this phenomenon as the 'ooh shiny!' reflex.

With a quick closing of my own fingers, I destroyed the small galaxy and saved Vexa from an amputation.

I followed that up with a bit of shadow-dancing and reappeared with a few wraiths.

"Are you satisfied now?" I asked the slack-jawed redhead, hoping for an end to the stupid line of questions.

Vexa hummed happily, "What's with you and blondie?"

"For the love of myself! shut you're damn mouth, woman!"

The redhead sucked in air sharply.

"Touch a nerve, did I?" She teased, a cruel smiled painted her lips, "I did, didn't I?"

Once again I turned my head back to Vixen and mouthed 'save me, you bastard', he laughed again and said, "You wanted to meet my sister, sir. This is what she's like, you're going to have to deal with it."

I doubt Ornstein or Lucatiel would have done anything, I _was_ going to have to deal with her alone.

"Come on, tell me! Tell me, tell me, tell me!" She chattered away like a child, I suspect on purpose, in an attempt to loosen my tongue.

I kept my gob tightly shut and marched on, it didn't stop her pestering.

The redhead dropped the Lucatiel topic and changed to something a little more obvious, "Your eyes are gold. I've never seen gold eyes before. Why are your eyes gold?"

I flashed _naked_ in a fit of anger, my patience tested to the limit and I stormed off towards the back of the party.

Vixen continued to laugh as I passed him and managed to tell me that I lasted long than most with Vexa's idiosyncrasies, to which she, listening in, made an endurance joke that wasn't particularly funny.

I huffed in the appropriate manner and joined Lucatiel at the back.

"What's the matter with you now?" The blonde undead glared at me.

"Nothing, I'm being melodramatic for the sake of being melodramatic," My little temper fit draining away, "And just a warning, Vexa Kellantine is as bad as me."

Lucatiel sighed, "Just what I need..."

She trailed off, still wearing a face like a smacked arse.

I linked my fingers with hers, "I'm sorry for earlier and I mean it, honey."

"Apology not accepted," She remained defiant.

"Lucatiel, I am sorry, but you really scared me last night and I don't want to see you turn. Yes, it's selfish and it was stupid of me to not talk to you before hand," There was a chance I was just going have to cut my losses, she might not forgive me.

I could live with it.

"I don't want to go through it either, but I don't want to go just yet. I'm still in half a mind to kick your arse," The blonde pulled her fingers away from mine.

Well, the woman had every right to do so, not that I was going to let her.

Her fingers weren't away from mine for that long.

With a 'tch' she linked them again, "Don't come to bed tonight intent of shooting me, okay?"

"As long as you don't steal the blankets, I think I can resist the urge," I bumped her shoulder with mine and smiled.

"You wouldn't have really gone through with it, would you?" She asked.

"Yes...if you hadn't been awake, but when I saw your eyes, I couldn't," It wasn't the answer she was looking for, but I wasn't going to lie to her.

She tightened her grip on my hand, the joints popping as she did so.

"Close your mouth and keep it shut," Then mimicking my accent, purred, "Dear."

I wiped the proverbial sweat from my brow, Lucatiel had forgiven me.

I think.

The day continued on uneventful. Vexa continued her questioning, but as I had been ordered to keep my mouth shut, I couldn't answer her.

Lucatiel did chime in every now and again, her own answers being somewhat snide and in some places a little condescending.

The questioning only ended when we set up camp at the entrance of the shrine.

"Sing for me," The blonde demanded suddenly, when I was setting up the tent.

"I'm not you're personal bloody bard."

"No, you're _my_ personal idiot. Now sing and I'll forget you tried to murder me."

Having nothing better to do, I sang for her a bit.

It was a bit of a rude song too (imagine if you will _Good Ship Venus_ but dirtier, for those know that one, have a search around for _Friggin' in the Riggin'_ by the pistols), so I'm glad she didn't understand.

"Such talents are wasted on you," She said lightly.

"And such beauty on you. Oh, cruel is fate for having damned me with such a hideous hag. But you know these lips weren't just made for singing," An overwhelming urge washed over me and I started kissing the back of her neck repeatedly.

"No, stop," She moaned.

"Why, is it driving you crazy?"

"No, you're helmet's digging into the back of my head and you tried to mercy kill me earlier," Lucatiel swatted me away, "You're just a dirty old man."

"I was wondering when you'd notice," I pulled the morion off and tried again, "Have you forgiven me yet?"

"I don't know how you can go from wanting to kill me, to trying to have your way with me like that," She snapped her fingers, "Now stop it, I'm not in the mood for your fooling about. I just want to go to sleep."

That was my hint to bugger off, so I got the blankets ready for her and left.

The others were huddled around a small fire, Vixen haven caught a few rabbits and had them roasting over it.

I took a leg; whilst it had little meat and was quite sinewy, it was tasty. Bones and all.

"Can you not?" Ornstein placed another log in the flames.

"Can I not, what?" I cracked open a bone and sucked out the marrow, then ate the rest. I grabbed another leg and repeated the process, "Oh, you mean this. Not my fault you can't burn food like I can."

The dragon slayer cocked an eyebrow, "We know you burn food, that's why we don't let you cook."  
That was not what I meant.

"I might burn food, but at least I never gave the group food poisoning," I looked over to Vexa, "We were on our way back from Venn and your brother manages to catch us some wild poultry. Ornstein said he would cook it and well, undercooked it. I know you humans shit a lot, but goodness, the way those three were going on..."

The redhead seemed unimpressed with the tale, "Will you tell me about you and blondie now?"

I think the only way to get her to shut up was to tell her, but I stood my ground.

"I don't really see how it's any of your concern?"

Vexa isn't really a woman who understands the word 'no', especially when it comes to things like personal issues.

Her brow furrowed, "Tell me."

"Well, I'm a god as you know and she is a 'pygmy' undead. We are in a relationship most people would refer to as friendship," I decided on a slightly sarcastic tone. To be honest, Vexa is about as bright as I am and I don't think picked up on the sarcasm.

She smiled a sickly-sweet smile, "Friends, eh?"

"That's what I said and we cannot be any more that. Are you happy now?"

"Are you two fucking?"

The woman is also incredibly crass and found herself being shouted at by her older brother, with Ornstein mumbling under his breath, "They would have been, if we hadn't talked them out of it."

As Lucatiel wasn't in the mood to deal with my fooling about, I wasn't in the mood for Vexa and told them I was heading off to bed, and that they should wake us at first light.

The blonde wasn't asleep, only wrapped deeply within the blankets and shivering.

I wormed myself under the same blankets and wrapped my arms around her. We Erebayans are technically cold blooded, so trying to use my own body heat to warm her was futile.

I ended up borrowing a gambeson and giving it to her, then held her again.

"Is that better?"

Lucatiel groaned, "I still can't get warm."

"It's not like we can start a fire in the tent. Just try your best to not think about it and the cold will disappear."

The blonde rolled round, "And how, pray tell, am I supposed to not think about the cold?"

"Start by closing your eyes and I'll think of something for you."

I believe she expected me to make some form of move, sad blue eyes full of suspicion and she pursed her lips.

Letting go a little chuckle, I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.

"I'm not going to do anything," I yawned, "Especially not with prying ears and I don't want to give that woman anything to talk about."

Another yawn left my lips and sleep assaulted me from all sides. It was a pincer attack and I was surrounded; no point in fighting back.

I dreamt again, a similar dream as the one I had on the way to brightstone in the garden of crucifixes.

The same strange doll-like woman with silver, silken hair. Like with the first, we danced amongst the crosses and also like the first, it ended too soon.

Vixen shook my shoulders, "First light, sir."

I gave him my thanks for waking me by telling him to fuck off, then to bring me food, then fuck off again.

He gave the pair of us fifteen minutes, before bowing his head and ducked out of the tent.

It felt even colder, but nothing close to Erebay's winters. Every joint and muscle creaked and cracked as I stretched myself out.

Lucatiel rubbed her hands together and blew into the cupped palms. Thin wisps of her breath rose into the air and she started complaining.

"Jump up and down a bit, or stamp your feet," I suggested and rubbed her upper arms, trying to see if a little friction could warm her up.

I then asked about her head.

"I feel awful, von Bayer," She admitted, "Where's my estus?"

The blonde tossed about the blankets in search of the golden flask, not finding it and was getting frustrated.

She wasn't going to find it, because I had moved it out of the way. It was such a fragile thing, that I felt it best to put it in a safe place when we made camp. I didn't want her breaking it if she had another episode like the night prior.

I retrieved it and waggled it before her.

She snatched it and took a large gulp, relief washing over her face.

"Don't hide it again," She pushed her way out of the tent, leaving me to pull it down and pack.

Within the hour we started again and descended into the shrine.

The entire area had become waterlogged, everything glistened wetly and strange flora grew from the stagnant pools.

"Stick to the paths and don't stray into the water," Vexa warned, "We've lost some good men to the hollows that inhabit them."

Those hollow things made themselves known, stalking us along the water's edge. The only escape from the hungry gaze of the sightless eyes were old stone huts.

The first hut held a woman knelt in prayer, as did the second and third.

When I asked who they were, the redhead told me Milfanito.

"Milfy-who-whats?" I asked, taking a closer look.

"We are Milfanito," The kneeling woman answered, "We sing for the little ones and the dead."

She then went on to tell us about an accursed creature disrupting their harmony and a missing sister. Without this sister, the remaining Milfanito couldn't lull the daemon back into eternal slumber.

When I asked the sister's name thinking we could have already met her, the kneeling woman replied, "We are Milfanito, we do not have names. We sing and care for the dead."

We? Seems like there was a bit of a hive mind thing going on.

The missing sister was apparently trapped in Drangleic castle, a guest of the queens. There was also something about a special key, that without the sister could not be rescued.

I shall refer to this captured Milfanito as _Singring_ and her cage as the _Glass Guitar_ , cos' _if you take a look around, Harmony is dying! Someone_ _trapped_ _the spirit in the Glass Guitar._

There are about five people on this poxy planet that will get that and they're probably never going to read this.

 _Singring_ wasn't my concern, but that daemon was if it was between us and Vendrick.

As you may have predicted, dear reader, it was and it wasn't the only thing. A sect of Lindelt warrior clerics had set up shop.

Whether they were their to worship the daemon or to fight it, I didn't know or care, they were in the way and would be dealt with in a similar manner.

The priests were large fellows with great helms and halberds; the priestesses were similar, except they wore horned helms and carried staffs.

They fired miracles at us from a distance and did something to buff the priests.

I say miracles, but I mean magic. They were nothing but wytches.

With a match going, I lined up one of the priestesses.

The bitch was downed with a damn-near perfect gut shot, the tell-tale crimson flowed blooming on her robes.

In the confusion of the noise and sudden smoke cloud, courtesy of moi, the rest of the group rushed the Lindelt clerics and crushed them.

Vexa stood over the priestess I had shot, inspecting the wound.

"A good thing I hit the thickest part of your breastplate, eh?" I commented and got another round ready, "Ask any more stupid questions and I'll wait until you're out of your armour."

The redhead pulled off her helmet and smiled, then shouted over to her brother, "Vixen! He's bullying me."

Vixen sighed, "Don't bully my sister, sir."

"I wouldn't really shoot her, Vix...again."

"You're fixated on shooting women at the moment, sir. Is everything okay?" He asked with mock concern.

"Oh, fuck the pair of you."

I ignored the innuendos spewed from the redhead's mouth, moving on up the path. It led to the mouth of a cave, from which a deep chant like moan emanated.

A grating sound it was and only got worse the closer. It's origins, the daemon the Milfanito spoke of.

It was a very large frog and if that was a 'song', I was unimpressed. I mean frogs shouldn't be doing guttural chants, they should be singing about rainbows and how it's not easy being a mouldy green colour.

At first glance it seemed harmless, but as you know looks are very much deceiving. With one of it's hands it pulled back the skin around it's mouth, revealing the daemonic face within. Then using it's powerful back legs, leapt into the air and intended to flatten us.

We were quicker, but it landed heavily enough to put some of the group on their backsides.

Two royal guard were obliterated by a swipe of the distended limbs and I tried to get a shot into it. When I had my opening I fired and missed my target, by a wide margin, but gave the others a chance to attack.

It was amazing to see the three 'lords' work together. A slice here, a stabbing thrust there, circling the daemon and always on the attack.

Seeing the three doing damaged caused something to happen with the other royal guards, myself and the blonde.

Something that sent us into a charge, getting us nice and close with dagger, sword and spear. The daemon had little room to move. It couldn't even jump with the way it's legs had been hacked apart. I added a few of my wraiths to the mix, to help get the job done quicker.

With a last death howl, the daemon of song dropped dead. The shallow waters it had called it's home were tinted with the grey-black ichor bleeding from it's wounds.

I wanted to move on straight away, but Vexa and her junior officers needed to check the wounded.

"Five dead, three looking serious, the rest are fit to go," One officer called, "The three serious will have to go back."

In total they had lost eleven, quite a large number to them.

A brief check over our equipment and we left the daemon's corpse, leaving Amana behind and entering the great crypts below Drangleic.

It was pitch black for all but me, it was endless and dug out of the rock in a way that screamed Gyrm to me.

Every wall was covered with coffins and decorative carvings, the ceiling being held up by intricately designed support columns. In between which walkways snaked and criss-crossed all the way across the endless cavern.

From an outcrop above, a voice called to us warning not to bring lights into the crypt or to light any torches.

The warning was followed by the person stepping out onto the outcrop, his face was a pale-blue and very ghostly. A grave warden, I didn't catch his name.

"And how exactly are we supposed to navigate if we can't see?" The blonde undead huffed, "I don't want to fall to my hollowing."

"They've got ropes set up," I pointed out, "The only way you're going over is if I push you."

She couldn't see me, but Lucatiel was giving me the usual steely glare.

Vexa advised that those in close-faced helms would probably be better removing them, help their eyes adjust easier.

It was a maze and one easy to get lost, though I suppose it was the best place to hide the king.

Up a flight of stairs we had our first accident and guess who, and guess who ended carrying her.

"I'm not hurt," Lucatiel fussed.

"No, but you're the only one who's tripped so far, I also have the benefit of being able to see in the dark and well," I held her tightly and gave her thigh a bit of a squeeze, "It could be the last time I get you with your legs wrapped around me."

Lucatiel grunted, "I'll wrap my hands around you're throat, if you keep pushing your luck."

I had to laugh at that, "Sorry honey, asphyxiation isn't really one of my things. I will take a few kisses as payment for carrying you however. I'm keeping you safe, after coming to know the error of my ways."

She bit my neck instead.

"I'm not into that either," I chuckled.

"Dirty old man," She muttered, then asked about the whereabouts of my arquebus, "You're using both hands to support me. You haven't lost the thunder lance, have you?"

Nope, I was still holding it. Not me personally, but the wraith next to me was.

"At least they don't talk. I don't think I can handle more than one of you speaking rubbish."

The wraith coughed, "It's a good thing I don't want to speak to you then. Quite the rude one you've picked."

"I know, dear," I said back to the wraith, "But you know what mortals are like."

I could hear Lucatiel roll her eyes behind me, "Only you can make talking to yourself seem normal and I'm not the rude one, that would be you von Bayer."

My wraith fell back into silence and I slogged on with blonde weight on my back.

The lot of us were stopped when the earth began rumbling, followed by a slight tremor of the walkway.

Having a gander over the side, I saw several of the giant superworm grubs had burst forth from the ground and were fighting amongst themselves, oblivious to us above.

Several of them thrashed against a support column, the source of the tremors revealed.

From there we went into one of the tombs.

"It's tight in here, so watch your steps and above all, do not disturb the bells," The younger Kellantine whispered.

Tight may have been the wrong word to use, headstone and graves were crammed into every nook and cranny, along with the bells.

I had let Lucatiel go by this point. Though with only one eye really working properly, she still had to rely on me to guide her through. Good thing it weren't a bleeding minefield.

Every step forward you would scrape yourself on the ragged headstones and some of those those stones were razor sharp.

A faint glow ahead was a curiosity.

The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel perhaps, sort of; the king had been permitted to light up his residence.

The hard part was upon us, getting past this royal aegis Velstadt.

"Halt!" A gruff voice ordered from within the light, "There are to be none past this point."

The order was ignored and we stood face to face with Vendrick's elites, the Syan knights.

"Lord Velstadt commands that you cannot enter here, not even you lady Vexa," The Syan captain and his company blocked our way.

They weren't 'lords' as they were too short, but were suited and booted with the best armour that could be bought. It was gaudy as sin.

How were we to get past them?

"The man next to me is not what he seems, he's a god," Vexa raised her voice, "If you do not let us pass, he will be forced to rain down on you his terrible powers. Powers that will rend a full-harnessed knight in two."

The redhead gave me a sidelong glance and winked.

I was left wondering what powers these were, put me into a bit of a fuddle. Did she know more about me than I did?

She glanced again and cleared her throat.

Silence.

Lucatiel took the opportunity to whisper into my ear, "She's on about your weapon, you slow bastard."

"Oh!" I exclaimed in a low, drawn out way and set about reigniting the remaining match in a discrete manner.

I had started to use these items Vix called flame butterflies. A cruel thing, but if you crushed them they would start fires.

The Syan captain was unmoved, as were his men.

Vexa mumbled at she had given them warning and nodded at me.

I took to a knee and fired into the captain, putting a hole through his gilded cuirass about the right breast below the clavicle. It wasn't an outright kill, but his arm was now useless and no doubt the lung had suffered damage.

He hit the floor, crying out in pain.

With the clatter of dropped weapons and shields, the Syan knights fled leaving their captain on the floor gurgling his last.

I slit the fellow's throat with my dagger and ended his agony. His blood was the warmest thing I had felt that day.

"What kind of god is he supposed to be anyway?" The redhead asked the blonde.

Lucatiel hummed, then just in earshot said, "It might not be obvious, but he definitely isn't the god of wisdom. If I was to put money on it however, I would say he's the god of lechery and being a general pain my backside."

"I can't be a pain in your bum, honey," I wiped my hands on her jerkin and in a very sweet voice said, "Because when I put forth the suggestion, you said you'd cut it off if I tried."

The blonde lowered her head and sighed, whilst Vexa loosed a bark like laugh.

"We can all agree that this creature is a pain, now stop yapping and move," Ornstein marched past the three of us. I could continue having fun after we had dealt with Vendrick, or more than likely get slapped for going too far.

On and on we delved into the crypt and there was no sign of the royal aegis.

"Something's off, this is where he's supposed to be. This is his post."

Vexa went off on one about Velstadt having buggered off to who knows where. He wasn't hiding in the dark my eyes told me that much, my nose was telling me something else.

"What do you smell?" Vixen raised his visor.

"Blood. Not mine and not that captain's," I sniffed again, trying to pick up the scent better, "It's stale, several days old maybe. There's also rot and it's stronger than the blood."

It would be lovely if for once I could smell something pleasant other than blood, rot and bodily odours. I was considering investing in a plague doctor's mask, they were stuffed with dried flowers you know.

I would have to do without though and was off, as a hound is after a wounded boar, towards the scent of the blood.

My dagger was already seated in the arquebus, with only two shots left I wasn't risking it. Doubt it would do any good, but I was at least armed.

In the end though, I wouldn't need it.

"Found them," I called back, "You can all relax, we don't need to fight."

The king and the aegis were both still in the gentle darkness of the crypt, the former with a crushed skull and the latter impaled on a sword

I think Velstadt had the same idea as us, and both lost and won.

The Kellantine siblings, the remaining royal guard, the dragon slayer and blonde undead were all silent, whist I in typical fashion ignored the mood of the room and started to, in Lucatiel's words, loot everything that wasn't nailed down.

Well, I wasn't going to find that ring by just staring.

"Shall I add 'no respect for the dead' to the ever growing list of things wrong with you?" She hissed through her teeth.

"You're going to do it anyway, so why stop you," I checked Vendrick's fingers, finding nought, "Luca, they're dead and there's no more than that. I couldn't give a damn if this was their king, to me he was just another..."

"Undead," Lucatiel continued for me, "You could at least pretend, but as it's you it'll never happen."

Ah, good girl, she knew me well.

The blonde dragged me to my feet and away from the corpse of Vendrick.

"Give them their moment silence, only then can you start looting."

I observed the little ceremony, but as with most things I didn't understand and just wanted to get on with things.

As they were finishing, I started up again and came up with nothing.

Every rock overturned, each pocket rifled through and still no ring.

The only thing left for me to check was a pile of rotten clothing and refuse. It was an experience, I can tell you that.

A parcel was buried deep in the pile, the ring inside.

The parcel itself was parchment and every inch was covered in scrawl, Vendrick's last thoughts.

Vixen took the letter from me and I studied the ring; nothing seemed off about it, in fact it was a normal ring with the king's insignia engraved.

As I turned the ring over in my hand, the brute started reading, at first to himself but then aloud.

The king's _was_ hiding out of fear of Nashandra and so she wouldn't get her hands on the ring, nowt on why the ring was important or what the queen was planning though.

I was still going with power grab.

I pocketed the ring, picked up my gear and readied myself for the slog back to the queen. Daylight was going to be welcome, even I was getting sick of the dark and I could see.

The going on the walkways was just as slow as it had been coming in and the giant superworm grubs were restless.

Then it came.

Crack!

The walkway started to shake and twist, a grub had gone through the supports.

Masterfully crafted masonry ground together and grated, it wasn't going to hold for much longer and it didn't.

The whole structure crumbled beneath my feet.

Little thinking was done in that moment, only moving of the feet and in a very quick motion towards somewhere safe.

Lucatiel was still with me, but Lucatiel alone.

The rest of the group were the other side of the chasm and not many of them at that.

"Vix!" I shouted across, "You okay, brother?"

"I'm fine, Vexa's fine," The brute called back, "Ornstein's gone, sir."

Not news I wanted to hear; I was already losing the blonde and now the old man was gone.

Damn.

"Lady Lucatiel, sir. She's not with us either."

"No, she got unlucky. She's with me," I told him, "You find a way out, Vix. Me and the missus will continue on, see what Nashandra wants with the ring. You go back to Majula."

"But sir!"

"No buts, Vixen. Do it and don't die, I'll kill you if you do."

Damn it.

Not how I wanted to leave the brute.

Myself and the blonde undead then made off with haste, wanting to be above ground as soon as possible.

"The old man should have gone out better than that," I whispered to myself, "With his spear in hand, charging down some bloody dragon."

Lucatiel shook her head, "We don't get to choose how, von Bayer. It just happens and _you_ can't influence it."

"I said I was sorry, didn't I!" I snapped at her and immediately apologised, "Damn it. Let's just get going, yes?"

Luca took my hand, "You're an idiot, but I forgive you and please don't get worked up about Ornstein. There is nothing we can do now."

That was something I was struggling to swallow, but knew she was right.

Damn it.

I was sick of this land.

* * *

 **Obscure song reference time.**  
 _ **Singring and the Glass Guitar (An Electrified Fairytale)**_ **(1977) by** _Utopia._  
 **It's a long song, but one worth listening to and if you have never heard of it/listened to it, do so.  
In fact just listen to the whole _Ra_ album, I promise you'll not be disappointed, if you like music that it.  
Anyway, that's it for this episode of obscure songs of the Seventies.  
Until next time folks.**


	15. The Last Time

**Back once again,  
** **Hope you're all doing well, my dears.  
As always, I don't own the rights to the souls series and I hope you enjoy.  
**

* * *

Slowly myself and Luca made it back into the shrine, past the daemon of song's corpse and the strewn bodies of Lindelt warrior clerics.

The crumb trail didn't stop us from getting ever so slightly lost; we were stood before a great stone door and on it was carved the sigil of Vendrick. The key hole suspiciously ring shaped and I had an inkling of which ring that was.

Vendrick's ring was the perfect fit and after I pulled it free, the door creaked open.

"Is that a throne?" I asked no-one in particular, more confused than anything else. Nothing new there.

The throne was roughly the right size for a man of Vendrick's height and placed on the seat was his crown. One more for the collection.

The crown was small, small enough that I could wear it comfortably. I had doubts that it was actually meant for the king.

I took off my morion and hung it from my belt, then undid my queue.

Having my hair tied back was getting on my nerves; having it down for a few hours didn't seem such a bad idea and no one could really stop me.

"You need a hair cut," The blonde undead commented, "You look like a demon, I can only see your eyes."

She parted my fringe and took the crown from me.

"Kneel," She commanded.

"In the water? It's like a foot deep," I complained and Lucatiel pushed down on my shoulders, "And cold."

She repeated softly, "Kneel."

With a defeated groan, I complied and got my legs soaked.

The water was freezing and parts of me that were on the outside, retracted inside. I made a sound no man should ever make.

"This better be worth it, woman," My teeth clattered together.

The blonde smirked, raised my chin and crowned me, "There you go, you can call yourself the king of Drangleic now, as well as Eleum Loyce."

The blonde then scooped up some of the water and dumped it over my head.

"And that's to cool you off."

That did it, I wasn't going to let her have all the fun.

I pulled her legs out from under her and she landed flat on her tush, washing frigid water over the two of us.

The blonde shrieked and cursed my name as she splashed about, then we both fell about in a fit of giggles.

I got the crown of Eleum Loyce from my supply bag and gently placed it upon her head, she looked gorgeous.

"It suits you more than me," I got us both standing, "I'll have Drangleic and you can have the wastelands."

Through the shaking, Lucatiel grimaced, "I want somewhere warm and now."

That was going to be a little bit of a problem, Vixen was the one with all the kit. Tents, blankets etc. An idea came to me however and started to despoil the warrior clerics and priestesses that were still on dry land. They wouldn't be needing their dry cloaks now.

"Strip," I tossed over a cloak and started to do so myself.

I thought she might complain, but no, off her soaking wet clothes came and on with the freshly stolen cloaks.

It did nothing for the cold, but they were dry.

We bundled the wet stuff on an unhappy wraith of mine and took off, one of the Milfanito giving us a gift in thanks for killing the daemon.

It wasn't much, only a few vials of something neither myself nor Lucatiel could use. The sentiment was nice however.

Soon we were out of that damned shrine and back into the smothering dark of night.

We set up as best a camp we could; it was no more than a fire and the Lindelt cloaks, but we had nothing else.

She sat in my lap reclined against me, trying to keep warm under the mountain of linen and fur. The fire was roaring away. Amber tongues kissed the nights brisk air.

Snow was coming again.

"You can sh-shoot me no...w if you want," The blonde stuttered, "Damn this cold."

I kissed her neck before saying, "This is nothing, sweetheart. Erebay's colder than this, the bloody seas freeze."

"They do not," The blonde sounded sceptical, "Se-seas don't freeze."

They did if it was in Erebay. When the iron-clads came about it stopped being so much of a bother, they could break the thick ice, but until then the winters rendered all sea travel useless.

"Trust me honey, even alcohol freezes."

You've not lived until you had a whiskey daiquiri.

Lucatiel wrapped her arms across her chest and hugged herself tightly.

"I think you're full of shit."

"Nope," I shook my head, "The only one full of the stuff is you, I'm telling the truth. I must admit though, a nice warm bed would be welcome, along with hot food and a bath. A good thing we're going back to Drangleic castle, yes?"

I'd be extra nice to Nashandra this time, I would even refrain from getting pissy if someone interrupted my bath time.

"Anyway, I crowned you tavern wench of Eleum Loyce, you can't complain about the cold now."

The blonde stopped hugging herself and elbowed one of my none existent kidneys, "A t-tavern wench? I think you mean queen, von Bayer."

"You don't want to be a queen, Luca," I added my arms to hers, tightening the embrace, "It's not what you think it is. As you are now you're free, become a queen and all of that freedom is swallowed by bureaucracy and politics..."

I trailed off, thinking about what I was to say next.

"You also have a duty to your people and your nation. I, as emperor, am as much a servant as the butlers and maids in my household staff. It's taken me a long time to work that out, you know."

That's why in the end I chose the army, I can both serve and lead my people.

"No, you're much better off as you are."

I finished and kissed her again. This one not being like the others, not a kiss of romance, but in a way a parent would kiss their child.

The blonde wriggled onto her side and snuggled into my chest, "I always wanted to be a princess, but I think you're right. Who would want to be like you?"

Who exactly?

Actually, I know who and they're all very much dead by my hand.

I passed off her little remark like it was nothing and toyed with her a bit.

"For your blatant cheekiness, I'm afraid you've lost your blanked privileges," I lifted the side and left freezing air rush in, but only for a moment. It was enough to give her skin goosebumps and enough satiate my vengeance.

"B-b-bastar-d," She shook and I chuckled in response.

"Be a dear and close your eyes, it's well past your bedtime and all the other good, little Mirrah knights are all tucked up," I winked, "You want to be a good, little Mirrah knight, don't you?"

The blonde stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry, shortly followed by her lids falling and covering those sad, blue eyes.

 _I see your eyes are gleaming,_

 _in winter's sunny glare._

 _Hair of gold, it does but shine_

 _and of which the gods do sing._

 _A beauty born once a thousand years,_

 _And all mine I claim to be._

"That was sickening," Lucatiel yawned.

"I was only reciting it to entertain myself, it isn't about you anyway," I turned my eyes upwards, towards the night's sky, "It was written about the very lovely wife of one Baron von Hepburg, on the occasion of our fourth rendezvous. She also thought it was awfully sappy."

Ooh goodness, Tabitha von Hepburg.

She's a skull jockey now, part of 84624th fleet-9th unit medical. Can't remember the last time I actually saw her.

"You have me in your arms and you're thinking about another woman," She mumbled into my chest, "Shut up."

"Yes, honey."

Sleep that night was poor, but not unexpected.

You know by now, dear deader, my sleeping pattern was shite, so it didn't bother me.

The fire was fed every quarter hour by one of my wraiths, who was also collecting firewood and bitching about it every second.

It wasn't enough though and she was up every half hour. It got to the point where we gave in, packed up and continued in the dark.

The royal guard camp loomed and we checked in with the officers, giving them the news of Vexa and Vendrick.

The three wounded men sent back hadn't made it and in these conditions it wasn't surprising. The camp was a dreary place and we didn't hang about.

Food was starting to dwindle with only hardtack left, the good stuff was with the brute and his sister and my boots went again.

The last few miles were spent with my feet wrapped in torn up pieces of Lindelt cloth.

I wasn't suffering alone though; as we started to climb toward the castle, she doubled over and vomited a mixture of bile and blood.

When I tried to help her she yelled at me to get away, to not touch her, just to get away. Then out of no-where, Lucatiel went for her sword, but nausea overtook her again and once more vomited.

"I don't need your help, get away from me!"

Tears streamed down her cheeks and her jaw quivered.

The blonde choked back a sob and brought the estus flask to her lips.

Tentatively I stepped towards her and wiped the vile mixture from her chin.

"Come on, Luca. It's just a little bit further, you just need to rest somewhere warm and get some good food in you."

What else could I suggest?

What else could I do?

She was always watching the gun, making sure I didn't put one into her back when she wasn't looking. The blonde wanted to go out on her own terms.

Thus, we could only march on.

She was a trooper that girl, a damn-fine trooper.

Every stumble, she was back up strong. Every falter, she drove on regardless of.

She was struggling more and more, her strength all but gone.

I was carrying her when we reached the castle. Lucatiel had collapsed again and there was no way I was leaving her.

A servant took the blonde from me.

"Get her cleaned up, fed and put somewhere warm," I told him calmly, "Someone get me Spenner or better yet, Nashandra herself."

The corpulent chancellor was already waiting for me.

"Only you and the lady have returned, I can only assume the worst," The mock concern grated my nerves, "Though with your return, I can guess you have done as our queen commanded. However, I'm afraid you will have to wait until tomorrow to speak to her, our queen had retired for this evening."

I grabbed the greasy blob by the collar and pulled him close.

"I don't give two damns, go get her!" I released him, "I'll wait in her throne room."

The bloated form of Spenner backed away nodding rapidly and I headed off towards the thrones, finding myself stumble a few times. The past several days catching up to me.

I needed the same as I had asked for Lucatiel, but that would have to wait until I talked to the Nashandra.

I waited in the empty throne room a good half hour before she graced me with her presence, wearing a stunning nightgown and her hair tied back with a linen headdress.

The twin muscles in plate were absent, as were any servants.

We were alone in that big, empty room.

"Why sir, to rouse me from my bed at this late hour...you have some nerve."

I tossed the ring at her feet, followed by the crown.

"I've done as you've asked, the ring and something extra."

With the ring, was she going to dispose of me? I was in no condition to fight back, I was feeling rotten.

Taking a deep breath, I forced back the nausea for a time, waiting for the queen to speak.

" _My_ brave sir," Nashandra's smiled was radiant, "You have done for me, that which no other had succeeded in before. Caustic your tongue may be, but your word is true."

I tried to talk back to her, but my mouth refused to cooperate, as did my body. It had given up and was demanding that I sleep.

I fell, into the arms of Nashandra.

" _My_ brave sir, are you not well? Shall I call for you the palace physician?"

"Get me to a bed, that's all I want."

It was like sleep had punched me in the stomach, knocking the wind from my sails. My eyes couldn't stay open and I was gone.

Unseen arms pinned me down in an endless nothing.

It was warm though, very warm and soft. I could have sworn I had been wrapped in cotton wool, it was rejuvenating.

A subtle crackling and scent of wood filled my head with a wonderful peace.

This was comfy.

If I was to guess I was in a goose feather bed, with a great fire going.

Light flooded my vision and I pushed myself up for the sea of white sheets.

Nashandra was sat close by, working on some needle point.

When I had told her to get me to a bed, I hadn't meant hers.

All of my equipment was up against the far wall, most of it seemingly clean.

It was gloomy day I could see through the windows, sleet pelting the windows and it was all a lovely shade of grey.

"If you've done anything to me, I'm afraid you may be forced to marry me," I managed to say, whilst yawning lazily and stretching.

The platinum blonde matriarch placed down her needle point and turned to face me, the purest image of grace.

" _My_ brave sir," She pressed her hands to her lap, "I am happy to see you are well, but what is it you meant by that remark?"

Her pale lips parted before forming into a soft frown.

"It was only a joke," I threw the covers off and went for my stuff, "It's not everyday I wake up stark-naked and in a stranger's bed. And speaking of being naked, where are my clothes?"

The queen had averted her gaze the moment I had stood up.

"I had your clothes burned, they were soaked and infested. If you check behind the screen there, you shall find suitable replacements."

She burnt my clothing? An odd way to keep me out of them granted, but creative.

"You better not have killed my lice, knew them all by their first names," I joked again, hoping for a little more mirth from Nashandra.

"I do not find your comments amusing, sir."

I stuck my head around the screen and found her back with her needle point.

Lucatiel would have at least bitten and given me something to bounce back from, I was getting nothing from Nashandra.

I turned my focus to the new clothes; the shirt and hose were nothing new, but I liked the _pinked_ doublet.

Though in my honest opinion, I would have preferred to have been back in my shirt, breeches, boots combo; especially the breeches, because the hose were tight.

I stepped back into the room proper and Nashandra put down the needle point again, standing to full height, flashing her teeth in my direction.

"My, how you look in those clothes, the height of fashion," With the back of her fingers, she caressed part of my cheek not streaked with blood, "You could almost pass as civilised, but if you are to be the true monarch you will have to be completely civilised. It will be a difficult task, but one I can handle."

She was speaking as if I wasn't going to be allowed to leave.

"But before that, there are still more trials for you to face. We shall talk more of this later, now you shall dine with me."

I took a step back, "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to take me to dinner before you get my clothes off. You've done this backwards."

The soft frown from before hardened, followed by the inevitable slap.

"Your remarks upset me, sir," Crystal blue eyes turned watery, "Why must you upset me, after _I_ have cared for you this past day?"

With an inward groan I apologised, "I meant nothing by it, only a joke."

"I have already told you sir, that I do not find your comments amusing," The queen huffed like a child and pursed her lips, "I have done nothing to you, but you are abusive in your words."

It wasn't what she hadn't done, it was more of what she was going to do.

Queen Nashandra continued, "I will ask you only once to mind your tongue and you will not spoil the meal that is being prepared."

"Whilst I appreciate the hospitality shown towards me, I would rather see my friend. Make sure she's alright. She was in a rough shape."

The hardened frown twisted into a snarl, softened again and crocodile tears welled at the corner of her eyes.

"You have not found your manners, I see," She sniffed, "Go! Get out of my sight."

It was a good effort, but it wasn't getting to me.

"Once I have checked up on my friend, I would be more than happy to dine with you," Down on one knee I went and regretted it. Bloody hell, those hose were tight.

Looking up at Nashandra, it was like the tears had never started to form.

If I was to get a few days good rest, I was going to have to play by her rules.

"I shall call the chancellor for you, _my_ brave sir and I expect you to keep your word this time as well."

She swiftly ushered me from the room and into the company of Spenner, of which I wasn't in very long.

My wonderful knight of Mirrah was all tucked up the same guest room we had used the first time.

I sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through her hair.

The blonde undead grunted and swiped at my hand, "Go away, unless you've got something hot and that tastes like food."

"Well, it's nice to see you're feeling better," I parted her fringe to reveal her face.

"I wouldn't constitute this as better. My head's throbbing, my gut's burning and my limbs feel like they're tied down with rocks."

There was colour in her not rotted cheek, that was something.

"Where have you been anyway?" Lucatiel sleepily asked, "I was surprised to not find you in bed with me."

"I passed out and woke up in queen Nashandra's bed. In fact, I'm supposed to be dining with her," I pecked her forehead and stood, "You focus on getting better."

"You're unbelievable, von Bater."

"If it gets you a few days bed rest, I'll do whatever. It also allows time for Vix and the rest to catch up," I was just about praying for the brute to make it, "I'll come see you again later."

"Bring me something to eat next time!"

I bowed with a theatrical sweep of my arm, "Anything for you honey."

The blonde shook her head and told me to get lost.

Spenner was waiting to take me back to the queen, the meal already prepared.

The two slabs of muscle in plate were back, standing guard outside of Nashandra's private chambers, not to be confused with her bedroom which was further up in the castle.

Nashandra was sat in the middle of a long table, the only other seat being beside her. The candle light cast an almost romantic mood across the room, that mood did not extend to me.

Again it was only she and I, and the moment I sat down she chided me.

"It's rude to keep a lady waiting, sir," Nashandra batted her lashes, "Do you have anything to say?"

I did, "You're gown is beautiful, have you worn it just for me?"

When I say it was beautiful, I mean it.

Highly ornate with tight under-sleeves and a flared collar, the bodice underneath emphasised her waist and hips. Another pattern that I have tried and unsuccessfully attempted to recreate.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little flustered.

Nashandra smiled and brought her fingers to her lips, "You make me blush, sir. Though you have still to apologise for making me wait."

"As an emperor, isn't it my prerogative to keep to my own schedule?"

The queen smacked the tabletop with the flat of her hand, "Sir! An emperor you may claim to be, but in the land I _am_ queen! You will apologise for your lateness, sir!"

Petulance, thy name is Nashandra.

I do believe we roughly gave off the same amount of petulance, though I was learning to control mine.

"My apologies, how could I have kept you waiting when you've dressed so..." I took a moment to add emphasis, and try not to vomit at the sickening flattery being spewed from my mouth, "So...ever so beautifully. You have me at a loss for words."

Nashandra placed her fingers back to her lips and giggled, "Why sir, you really do know how to make me blush."

Alright, this was officially excruciating.

It was becoming clear to me why Vendrick had run away and hidden.

"Sit please, _my_ kind sir. Our meal is prepared."

Servants stormed the room setting the table and placing down two bowls of soup, and with a glare from their queen, left us in peace.

"Surely there should be courtiers joining us?" I asked.

"Like my late husband, all of _my_ courtiers have left. No doubt in fear of the undead curse plaguing _my_ lands."

Or perhaps, they were running away from her.

"I'm afraid it's only the two of us."

"Chancellor Spenner makes three," I nodded my head towards the darkest corner of the room.

She told me she saw nothing, that was when the fat man walked out of the dark.

He bowed, "Apologies my queen, I am only here make sure all goes well. I must commend your guest on his perception. Your highness."

Spenner bowed a second time and removed himself from the room.

The look the queen was giving off suggested that she hadn't expected for the chancellor to be with us; Nashandra wasn't happy.

She grumbled under her breath, "I had asked him for no interruptions."

I turned my attention to the soup; it was simple, an onion soup and right up my alley. I do love a good onion soup.

A good chunk of crusty bread would have gone well with it, but none was to be seen. If I had any hardtack, it would have been crumbled up into the mix.

Does it sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not, the soup was delicious on it's own.

"How are you finding the first course?"

She took the pitcher of wine and poured it into my cup.

"Wonderful."

"Yes, it's a favourite of mine too. The rest I hope will be equally as satisfying," The queen daintily sipped at her own soup.

We dined and drank plenty, the effects of the drink showing more on her than I.

Several mental notes were made to go and visit Gavlan; if I was to get right royally drunk, he was the Gyrm that had the drink to strip the paint from your stomach.

"Queen Nashandra," I finally decided to use her honorific, "Not to take away from this meal and your hospitality, but you said that there were still more trials for me. Where am I going and why am I doing this for you?"

With lips pursed and a huff, her tall form turned away from me, "Are you enjoying your time so little with me that you want to leave already?"

Two things.

One, rude to answer a question with another question. Nashandra being one for etiquette should have known this.

Two, when did I say I wasn't enjoying myself?

Three, I wish people wouldn't try to guilt trip me.

"If I know where I'm going, I can prepare and anyway, I need a few days for my friend to rest. Though if you want, we can make this a one night deal," I drained my cup, "But you'll have to get me really drunk and speaking of such, could you please refill mine?"

Slap!

Either this woman had no sense of humour or I wasn't funny.

Probably a mixture of both.

"If you're going to keep slapping me because of silly jokes...drop the bullshit!" I detonated, flashing _naked_ , " _I am sick of it._ _I'm sick of you dancing around me! Give me a straight bloody answer for once!_ "

The queen was stone faced, seemingly unaffected by the revelation of how I actually looked.

Rather than the blind panic or shouting, Nashandra reached out and touched me like she had done earlier that day, softly caressing my cheek.

"Sir Kellantine had told me that you were not as one of us, though this is not what I had dreamt of," Her touch sent shivers through me this time, "You who shall become the true monarch and ascend the throne Vendrick could not. That is what _I_ want of you, _my_ brave sir and these trials are just that, trials."

So, I was doing all this run around to see if I was worthy enough to ascend the throne.

"I was right to be intrigued by you," Her features relaxed and pale lips parted into a sultry smile, crystal blue eyes twinkled in the candle light, "Let us have some more wine."

With a snap of her long fingers servants came and replaced the empty pitchers.

A few cups (15) of the wine and I was back to somewhat normal.

"Goodness, _my_ strange sir, you can drink," She poured me another, "And you seem untouched by it's sting. I, myself, am feeling it."

I stared at the ruby liquid in the cup and swilled it about, "This is fruit juice, I doubt you'd want to see me drunk regardless. That would not be very proper of me. It's a lovely vintage anyway, the finest for a queen, yes?"

It was the case of playing by her rules, I had to remind myself.

"Oh sir, it's kind of you to say, but if it is not to your liking I can order my servants to bring something stronger,"She finished off her own cup, slowly licking away the drops that lingered on those pale lips.

I politely declined.

We finished the final course of the meal and Nashandra invited me into the following room, to sit by the fire with her awhile.

The scent of the burning wood was enticing alone, the promise of more drink even more so.

It was cosy and the high back chair I inhabited must have been bewitched because I couldn't seem to move.

"I wish for you to venture to residence of Aldia, my late husband's brother. There is something just beyond that I wish for you to retrieve. There is only one place to go, I feel you will find what I ask for with ease."

There was that name Aldia again and to find his keep, the third path back down at the rotunda I had to take. All the way down the mountain again.

"I'll head off in a few days, granted I can impose upon your hospitality some more?"

" _My_ brave sir, I would be delighted to have you stay."

"And as it seems I'm not going to find a way home, I might as well become the true monarch. Eleum Loyce is already mine and I possess the crown of Venn, why not add Drangleic and build an empire here," I lost interest in my wine and put down the cup.

Nashandra left her own chair and knelt before me; even kneeling she was taller than me.

She picked up my hands, "I admire your ambition, _my_ brave sir. However, I do not like to share."

I didn't say she had to like it or that I would share it.

"Now let us talk no more of ambition. I promised you a reward for finding Vendrick's ring, did I not?"

I was gifted with a kiss, not deep or passionate, nor was it a quick peck. It was one of the most peculiar kisses I had ever had.

One of us seemed happy, whilst I was bewildered and not it a good way.

Nashandra stood and cleared her throat, " _My_ kind sir, I find myself tired. Would you please escort me to my room?"

I complied with her request.

Her two guards flanked us all the way.

When we reached her room, she turned and held out her hand, palm to the floor.

I took it and kissed it; I had seen done in my own court, not to me but the empress.

She flashed another sultry smile and bid me farewell.

One of the guards stared at me and growled, so I skedaddled before he decided he was hungry and I was on the menu.

Spenner was waiting like the disgusting lapdog he was.

"Anything else for today, sir?"

"Take me to the kitchens, please and then to my friend."

The fat man bowed with a smug grin.

The kitchen still had some of that soup and I knew exactly where to take it.

Lucatiel hadn't moved since I had left her.

"I brought food, honey. This soups delicious, I know you'll enjoy it."

The dandy knight of Mirrah blinked the sleep from her eyes and asked what kind.

"Onion."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "I've told you about how I react to onion."

"Alright, I'll take it away."

I started toward the door and she stopped me.

"Bring it here, I'll have it...that smells making me hungry, but I don't want any jokes from you. Understand?" She took the bowl and began spooning the soup into her mouth.

"Understood perfectly, I'll make sure to stand up wind of you and keep you away from open flames tomorrow."

"Luck," The blonde said between spoonfuls, "Pushing it."

She polished off the bowl in no time and rolled onto her back, pulling the covers up to her chin.

I fed the fire and flopped onto the unoccupied part of the bed.

"Have fun with your queen then?" She rested her head on my shoulder.

"You're not jealous, are you? Well, if you must know the meal prepared for us was lovely," I started to recount every course, for there had been many.

Every few descriptions Luca would stop me and complain that I hadn't brought her that instead of soup.

"If you're feeling better tomorrow, I'll sweet talk Nashandra into having the kitchen staff cook us something nice. I'd much rather dine with you anyway," The honest truth, "You're not likely to kiss me at the end of it."

"No, that would be yo...wait a minute, did you kiss the queen of Drangleic?"

I shook my head and the blonde undead settled down.

"She kissed me, my reward for getting her Vendrick's ring. Let's just say I didn't like it," I slid further down onto the bed, "It wasn't a kiss saying 'I like you', more like 'I want you' or should I say 'I want to possess you'?"

What was Nashandra really after?

That was the question plaguing my mind.

"Is that just paranoia or am I right to be worried?" I asked the blonde, getting no response.

A light snore emanated from Lucatiel; my sleeping beauty.

"Yeah, you sleep honey, you sleep and get better."

I shan't bore you with our remaining days in the castle, Luca slept through most of it and I was stuck with the queen.

On the fifth day Luca was well enough to travel again.

We were given clothes and provisions for the journey to Aldia's keep.

"I wish you luck, _my_ brave sir and pray for your safe return as soon as possible," The queen saw us off, giving me back the king's ring and crown, "I extend that to the lady knight."

No she didn't.

There was absolutely nothing behind those words.

Myself and the blonde bowed to Nashandra and left in sort of a hurry, we I didn't want to put up with Nashandra another moment.

"So _my_ brave sir," Luca mimicked the queen with a smirk, "Where to now?"

"Call me that again and you'll go down this mountain the quick way," I got in a quick huff and my best attempt at pursed lips.

"Don't pout von Bayer, you look stupid," The blonde linked our fingers, "Now, where are we going?"

"Somewhere beyond the residence of Vendrick's brother. Nashandra wasn't clear on the matter," The clouds about turned ink black and lighting flashed, thunder clapping closely behind.

"We better get a shimmy on before the rain starts again, don't want you catching your death again."

Thankfully this time we had a proper tent, carried by two of my unwilling wraiths. The three of me actually got into an argument about who was carrying what.

Wraith No.1 'Tomas' wanted the arquebus, as did No.2 'Wolfram'.

I told them both to fuck off because I was the archetype and they the copies.

"Talking to yourself is one thing, but arguing with yourself is another thing all together," Luca pinched the bridge of her nose as we sat huddled inside the tent.

Something was telling me she wasn't impressed with my ability to split myself.

The arguing between myself continued all the way down the mountain, until the point where Lucatiel could take no more.

"The three of you will shut your gods damned mouths!" She scolded me and the two wraiths, "If you understand don't speak, just nod your collective heads."

"Sorry honey-"

"Eh! eh! eh!" Her finger was jabbed at my face and so I nodded.

All of us were silent until we reached the rotunda, setting up the tent for the evening and by the following morning the rain had stopped.

Through the middle gate we walked, the further we got the more desolate things seemed. Well, it was winter.

It was a little before sundown when we were stopped.

Something or someone was waiting in the mangled boughs of the dead birches.

Luca drew her sword and I got my match lit.

Three men stepped out from the woods; the young undead knight and two undead crossbowmen, intent of using their weapons.

"Hand them over," The young prat demanded, "Those crowns are mine, I want them now!"

I had though this might have been a viable threat, but no.

"I told already, shag off," I lowered the arquebus, "Before I decide to put you over my knee and smack your backside red."

Honestly, ambushing someone over lumps of metal.

The young knight did not heed my words and only served to fuel his temper.

"You damned pissant, hand them over!"

I told him no, I wasn't going to let this little shit get his way.

The young knight stood staring in silent contempt, which I mistook for him agreeing and it's something I regret.

He nodded to his men and they fired, one bolt hitting me square in the chest, but not putting me down.

I returned the favour and fired into the first bowman.

The second got a shot off, missing me completely; in my ear the distinct sound of bolt hitting flesh and of glass shattering.

I though nothing of it in the heat of the moment, dropping my arquebus and going _naked._

The remaining bowman and young knight took off after one look at my true form, the former not making it far.

Repeatedly I punched, until the undead was no more than a pile of mulched meat and bone. I looked around for the little shit of a knight, but could not find him, then remembered the sound.

"Lucatiel!" My heart rose to my throat.

The blonde undead was on her knees cradling her belly, a bolt had hit her. Beside her lay the shattered remains of her estus flask.

She was alive, but very badly hurt and without her estus she couldn't heal _._

In a panic I scooped her up and had 'Tomas' pick up the arquebus and flask fragments. Perhaps if I got her to a bonfire.

Pain had her lips drawn back, and her breathing short and sharp.

There were no tears from her, only pained curses.

The first bonfire was the closest to Aldia's keep; I had to employ the ring to get us inside and that door took it's time to open.

The bonfire was housed inside an old shed that looked like it was about to fall apart. The bonfire did nothing.

I placed the blonde down as gently as I could onto the pile of blankets we'd been given and checked her out.

"Get it out of me," She hissed, as I probed the area around the bolt.

"I'm not an apothecary, I could kill you," The bolt was in deep, up to the flights. Along with making the wound, it had also plugged it. The head was a fine point and no thicker than the shaft, cheaply made by the look of it too.

Luca grabbed me by the collar, "I don't care, get it out of me!"

I pulled off my gloves and had her bite down on them.

"On three, Luca and I'll pull."

She nodded.

"One."

Yank.

Lucatiel screamed in agony as the bolt came free, along with a gush of blood. This was followed by my first ventures into surgery; I still had the sewing kit I'd bought from Maughlin and I was about to use it for an unintended purpose.

"Keep biting honey, I'm going to have to cut."

I would love to say this was the only time I had to do this, but it wasn't. By law all Erebayan officers over the rank of captain and whom have served over 1000 years are required to go through medical training. If it helps, you can think of us as mini-Mash units.

That's now however, back with Lucatiel I was stumbling in the dark. I had no idea about human anatomy.

The smell too was telling me it was bad; if you can smell oxygen rich blood, bile or bowel through the wound...I think you get the picture.

I did my best with what I had and several times I thought I had lost her, when really she had only blacked out from the pain.

My suturing was poor and the damaged tissue was leaking, so I took the drastic option and cauterised what I could.

It was all I could do, other than tear up some cloaks to use as dressings and wait.

Her breathing steadied and Lucatiel woke, her hand immediately going to her belly.

"I'm cold," She whispered and I piled more blankets on top of her, "And everything hurts."

"I know, honey," I stroked her hair, "You're going to have to be brave."

Sad, blue eyes looked into me, "I'm sure you're happy, you finally got inside me."

It took a second to register the joke.

"Cheeky bitch, I'll give you that."

Lucatiel doubled up, clutching at the wound and saying she was cold once more. I pressed my hand to her forehead and whilst she felt cold, her head was burning up.

If the wound didn't get her, the fever would.

Her hand emerged from under the blankets, grasping for mine.

"Tell me about your homeland again?"

I could do more than just that and as she had made skin to skin contact.

In her own mind there would have been an instant flash of bright light and she would have found herself gone from inside the rundown shed.

"Wha...where...how?" The blonde undead looked around in confusion, then looked at herself. No wound or any sign of the undead curse.

"Calm down, we're still both in Drangleic as I speak," I restrained her shoulders, "You wanted to know about my homeland, so I ripped your conscience out and dragged it into my head. This was constructed from a memory."

It's a hard thing to explain and as usual, I don't really understand it either.

"Your head? A memory?"

"Yes honey."

The blonde undead gave me a vacant look and started to take in our surroundings; rolling hills of white grass, bathed in perpetual darkness.

In the distance the recreation of the capital, each and every building built from basalt and marble.

"This is my home and damn it, I wish I could have taken you proper."

Lucatiel was lost to it all, tears streaming down her cheeks, "It's beautiful and I wish you could take me as well."

She had to sit down, her legs threatening to give out under her and I feared mine would too. I didn't want this to be happening, even though I knew it had been coming for awhile.

"I don't want to let you go," I embraced her, burying my face into the crook of her neck, "Damn you, Lucatiel! Damn you and your mortality."

How selfish of me.

"Damn me all you want, von Bayer. Don't you ever forget me though!" The atmosphere grew thick, "I don't want you to forget me."

"No chance of that," Or so I would've liked to think, "Now I need to collapse the dream, I'm sorry."

"Not yet," She pleaded, "I don't feel a thing in here and seeing your home makes me realise how much I miss my own...I can't even picture it now."

I tried to comfort her to the best of my abilities, holding her, singing to her, lying to her. Not one of them worked.

For what time we had left we held each other.

The dream collapsed itself; I had fallen asleep.

Through the broken slats of the shed dawns first rays pierced and roused me to the feeling of emptiness.

Lucatiel was gone, blood marking her spot.

Where had she gone?

Some much blood…

"Lucatiel?" I called out and only the breeze replied.

I sucked up whatever was going around my head and prepared for what came next. I carried only what I could on my own, load the arquebus and followed the blood.

The trail led all the way into the keep, from which I could hear fighting.

Her once beautiful features had greyed and rotted, eyes distant and cloudy. The proud knight of Mirrah hollowed at last.

The husk was clumsily swinging at the second person, the one she had been looking for.

Aslatiel of Mirrah was begging with his sister, wanting for her to recognise him and not to fight. I wanted to feel for him, but I could only think of her.

"Lucatiel."

The husk turned her head towards me and stumbled forwards.

Ornstein had told me it was a difficult thing to kill a friend, he was wrong.

The arquebus slammed back into my shoulder, my final round ripping through the blonde husk and put an end to her torment.

She toppled backwards and went still, her soul floating above her body.

"Murderer," Aslatiel screamed, anger clouding him and making him sloppy in his attack. The high strike easily parried, followed up with a smack from the arquebus' butt.

I stood over him, "Don't fight me Aslatiel, I didn't want this either. I wanted your sister to live, to break the curse, to be able to love her. I just freed her, be grateful."

Aslatiel of Mirrah bared his teeth and I threatened to crack his skull open if he didn't stop, I didn't care if his deceased sister was prone beside him.

The knight of Mirrah spat in my face, "Murderer."

I slammed the butt of the arquebus down on Aslatiel's chest, cracking the sternum and one of the ribs.

"Do you want to try again, son?"

The blonde man relaxed and burst into tear for his sister.

I knelt down and held him, "I know son, I know. No one will ever replace her, she was your baby sister and one of my best friends. She kept me right though all of this shit, I want you to know that Aslatiel."

"Who are you?"

I gave him my story, telling him of myself and his sister's journey.

"That all of it, son. No more I can tell you," I stood us both up, "Now, help me with her. As her brother and the man who loved her, we owe Lucatiel that."

Her soul was captured in a pendant in Aslatiel's possession, made from a special metal or some such. We then moved her body outside.

In the shed she and I had spent our last night in were several wood axes.

We built Lucatiel the finest pyre and sent her off in the finest blaze.

 _Sleep,  
_ _sweet soul before me.  
_ _Sleep,  
_ _your time to go.  
_ _I'll hold you,  
_ ' _til you fade my dear,  
_ _for now is your time to go._

 _Sleep,  
_ _sweet friend of mine.  
_ _Sleep,  
_ ' _til the end.  
_ _I can't go on before you,  
_ _for it's not for me to know._

 _I'm not sure what your fears are,  
_ _and time is not so kind.  
_ _If I could,  
_ _I'd take your hand,  
_ _be your guide,  
_ _But I must stay behind.  
I must stay behind._

"Goodbye, my love. Sleep well," I whispered to her and turned, wondering why the tears would not fall.

Aslatiel came up beside me, "I don't know you, but the way you talk about sis...you hold her and don't let go of her."

The elder brother of Lucatiel of Mirrah handed me the pendant.

"I wont," I told him and left the pyre behind.


	16. Dragons and Gods

**A good day to my dears,  
back we are once more with this.  
Feedback is always welcome (as this is a chapter I feel needs quite a bit of work done to it) and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

It was amazing how much Lucatiel had looked like Aslatiel, nothing like Vixen and Vexa who were worlds apart.

The same sad, blue eyes sat in an older, weathered face. He wore his hair short and sported an equally short beard.

"How old are you, son?" I enquired, trying to break him from his depression, "Because Luca turned thirty in the autumn."

"Thirty-nine," He replied, "And would you stop call me son! You know my name and aren't you, like, younger than me?"

"No, I'm older but don't ask how old, I stopped counting a long time ago," I pulled the lump of smoking leaf from my supply bag and used the stub of match to light it, "You know, when she told me you were her older brother I hadn't expected for you to be nearly ten years older."

Aslatiel fixed me a steely glare, "Big family, I was the oldest and Lucatiel was the baby. Now I don't want to talk about my sister any more, so shut up!"

But _I_ wanted to talk about her, it was helping and I thought if we did stop I would forget her myself. Damn me if I weren't being childish, but Luca was the first person close to me that I lost. I wasn't really sure how I was supposed to react.

A Reaper would be better to go through this stuff, as they deal with this kind of thing all the time. I have no Reaper to hand, thus you'll have to deal with me.

I remember when I had to explain death to my eldest...she cried for a week when I told her about her pet kitty. Granted, Khay was 24 and that cat had a fucking good run.

Anyway, we walked on past several rattling wooden carriages, with thick iron bars on the windows. Growls and hisses greeted us and I permanently fixed the dagger to my arquebus.

What was Aldia doing here?

"Aslatiel, I'm going to need your help. I was told you were the best swordsman in Mirrah and I'm pretty much useless with my weapon as is," I was going to have to proficient with the bayonet.

The knight of Mirrah loosed a low growl from his throat.

"I don't want to impose on you, but two of us is better than one. If you want I'll pay you," If and when I came into the possession of money.

"Shut your trap, man!" He barged past using his shoulder, "I don't give a shit. We're both going the same way, so shut up and don't get in my way!"

Oof, He and I were going to get on like a house on fire.

I'd let him be and let him deal with grief in his own way; I'm sure he wasn't meaning to be an arsehole.

Several more of the shaking carriages stood in our path and at the main staircase, were met a monster.

"Holy fucking shit," I couldn't believe my eyes, the skeleton of a dragon was just sitting their on the upper floor.

Something was very off about it.

The bones creaked and started to move, the dragon's skeleton reared and lunged forwards. Aslatiel tackled me out of the way.

The skull crashed into the wall next to us and crumbled into dust, I was left speechless and winded.

The knight of Mirrah grabbed my shoulder and seethed, "Are you stupid? This is the home of the second most powerful person in Drangleic, did you think it would be unguarded?"

He pulled me up and urged me on.

It was eerie, petrified creature and people littered the steps. Even an ogre had been frozen in stone, incredibly ugly and in a state I liked.

It was only a few feet further that we saw why there were so many.

A mother basilisk was imprisoned in a great birdcage and my guess was the babies were the ones in the carriages.

The mother was some size and the cage in the way of the only door.

"We ain't fighting that thing," I told Aslatiel and he agreed, but with all of the carriages rattling and their prisoners crying out, the mother was restless.

The job of sneaking past was easier said than done.

"It sees us," The knight of Mirrah pointed out, "We're not going to get round it quietly."

"I'll make some noise for us, distract us that way."

I cut an apostle from the bandoleer and filled it to the brim with the fine priming powder, inserted the last stub of match in and jammed the cork in.

A flame butterfly completed the mix and I tossed the little firebomb to the far side. I could have used a wraith or shadow-danced, but that was obvious and of course I never thought of it.

The apostle burst like a firecracker and drew the attention of the mother basilisk, allowing the two of us to get past it. A great spray of the petrifying mist was spouted at the burning remnants of powder.

We got through the door and closed it.

The room was small, enclosed with a statue in the centre; a twin headed gargoyle, chain pulleys in either mouth.

I pulled one, curiosity getting the better of me and a hidden mechanism clicked.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" Aslatiel pulled me away, "It could set off another trap."

The hidden mechanism clicked again and part of the wall slid away, revealing a second door behind it. The door we came through disappearing behind a similar looking part of wall.

The door led into a long corridor lined with doors and painting, above cages filled with every creature thinkable, even hollows.

"Gods, the smell," Aslatiel gagged, "How many do you think there-"

I cut him off with a raising of my hand, a noise had caught my attention.

"What?"

I ran the arquebus through the painting's canvas, finding fleshy resistance behind it. Pulling the plug-dagger free, it was covered in blood.

The canvas and frame fell away and out fell the person behind it.

They were dressed in full bodied robes and strange masks; he gurgled and I pulled off the mask, not hollowed.

I ended him with a second stab.

One of Aldia's men perhaps?

More of them hid behind other paintings and a few were at work behind closed doors.

The ones at work were doing abominable things to corpses, trying to create new life, new things from the dead.

That I could not allow.

Before the knight of Mirrah could stop me I had killed the first, with a stab to the spine and cracked the seconds mask open with a strike from the butt.

Aslatiel saved me from the third, parrying a strike from a malformed skull of all things with his shield and crushed the acolytes throat with his sword's pommel.

"Thank you," I wiped my dagger clean, "I lost myself there."

"Why didn't you just leave them?" He scolded and pushed me.

"Because they were fucking with the dead, trying to create new life, trying to bring them back. You can't do that. Dead is dead and it needs to stay that way, you can't bring them back."

Aslatiel's face fell at my rant, I think I knew what was going on through his head.

"Oh son, you weren't thinking that?," I found a stool and sat down, "She's gone. If I knew a way I would be fighting tooth and nail. Not even gods have that power."

Well, there was one, but I nailed him to a cross like his bastard child.

"One last time, that's all I want," The knight of Mirrah slumped.

"Me too. One last time to hold her, to be able to annoy her, to hear her call me a bastard," I had the benefit of walking though my memories, so I could see her whenever I wanted, "I suppose no matter how old you humans get, it isn't easy for you. Come on, I don't know how far we've still to go."

I got up and clapped the knight of Mirrah on his shoulder.

Forgetting about our loss we forged on, the further in to the keep, the larger the caged creature got. A wall had collapsed and behind it were the piled corpses of giants.

Those poor bloody creatures…they had been imprisoned and experimented on. I was hating this Aldia before I had even met him.

I know I'm cruel, but I would never do that.

As I was staring at the atrocity, Aslatiel went further up the corridor.

I heard a brief expletive and then the sound of another wall coming down. An ogre had smashed on through and was dead set on turning the knight of Mirrah to jam. It must have been driven mad being locked up in a cage.

Aslatiel darted this way and that, a slice here and there and the ogre fell. It landed heavily and was finished off with a stab to the head.

It was like a dance the way he moved his blade.

"Impressive stuff, wish I could use mine as well as that," I placed the arquebus against the ogre's body and pulled free my sidesword, trying my best to imitate Aslatiel's style.

"May I?" He asked, pointing at the arquebus.

The blonde knight hefted the weapon up to his shoulder, then had to put it down.

"How do you stand it's weight and what is it, a weapon that spits out fire? How do you make it work?" He asked and handed it over.

I went through a dry load with him, "And if I had any powder and match left, it would fire as soon as I depressed this lever."

I emphasised the action with a 'bang'.

"So that's what hollowed my sister," He looked to the floor.

"That was a crossbow bolt. I told you, we were ambushed."

Aslatiel frowned, "Do you remember the faces of those men?"

I hoped he wasn't going to start with what I was thinking.

"If you can remember tell me, so I can find the bastards."

For that alone I slapped him.

Yes, I wanted to do the same, but where would that get me. Getting embroiled in revenge is a dangerous slope to fall down.

Luca had told me constantly to grow up and I doubt she would be happy if I went chasing after that young knight.

If I ran into him again I'd torture the bastard to death, but I couldn't let that cloud my head.

"Forget about him and focus on helping me. That's not a request, it's a command. Do you understand me Aslatiel of Mirrah?" I stared him down.

I would act as my station permitted.

The blonde knight nodded meekly, "Yes."

"Good, I am his imperial highness von Bayer and you are my swordsman until I release you from my service."

Aslatiel straightened up, not sure of my words, yet not wanting to contest them either.

I didn't want to fight him or make him my enemy, but I needed to assert dominance if I was to keep him focused.

Without a word, I had him move out in front of me.

We exited out the back of the keep, the dirt road sodden by a sudden bout of winter rain. The road wound back into the mountains, this time away from Drangleic castle.

Aldia's acolytes dogged us every step of the way, along with the odd hollow; Aslatiel's skill was no match for them however.

As the day went on dead trees gave way to evergreen pines, that lit up the landscape an emerald green. It broke up the dull browns and grey nicely, lessening the strain of the eyes.

By midday the two of us had made some distance, the mountain range was gone and replaced with an open valley. It was a sight to behold, even more so the giant cage at it's centre.

A giant gilded birdcage, but what kind of bird did something so big hold?

"Only one way, let's hope there's nothing in side," I joked as the cage began to loom over us.

The lower most part had been boarded up, thus seeing inside was impossible and I had a feeling in my gut.

Aslatiel glanced over, "Don't like it, is there a way round?"

"Unless you want to jump over the side, no."

Begrudgingly, the knight of Mirrah went in and I followed, my heart sinking at what I saw.

"Oh shite."

A drake sat curled up in the centre and thankfully asleep.

I had never seen one before, it was an ugly thing.

Not ogre ugly, but ugly.

Aslatiel raised a finger to his lips and motioned to sneak past.

It's amazing how normal functions like walking and being quiet become difficult in times like these, every footstep rang like a bell.

We would have been doing well if not for the fact the dragon was already awake.

"Run! Run! Run!" I yelled, but it was too late for the knight of Mirrah.

The drake snapped forward and rend Aslatiel in two, biting clean through him. I, myself, ran as fast as my legs could take me towards the exit.

The door couldn't hold me and I slammed it closed, quicker than I had opened it.

Monstrous screeching deafened me as I continued to run.

It was only when I stopped that loneliness struck me, so I clutched the pendant trapping Luca's soul and told myself I could only allow myself to feel this once I had done my job.

"What spell did you weave around me, honey?" I asked the pendant, "And I'm sorry about your brother."

Have I, dear reader, told you about my greatest fear?

Being alone.

I spent so long on my own as the only being...that feeling was eating at me, more than the death of Luca and her brother.

My heart ached, yes, but the loneliness was worse.

Still I pushed on and found myself at a lift, something I hadn't seen in since harvest valley. Without a thought I stepped in and was immediately taken upwards, into the clouds.

It stopped with a jolt and the barred door opened onto a rocky plateau, someone very familiar sat waiting for me.

I ignored the herald and how she had gotten here, dead set on finding the end goal.

"Wait," Shanalotte called out, "Where are the others?"

"Hollowed or lost," I kept walking.

"Wait, von Bayer," The herald caught up and grabbed my arm, "Are you alright?"

"Of course I'm not alright. Lucatiel was murdered, Ornstein fell to his death and Vixen is who knows where," It was hard trying to keep myself calm, I managed though.

Shanalotte pulled down her hood and brushed her fringe behind her ear, "You're the only one who has made it this far. You're the one to end it...for me."

Out of nowhere she rested her head against my chest, "You don't know how long I've waited and now the chance is here. Take this curse from me and make me human."

Those mismatched eyes of her were pleading with me, begging for more than just being freed of the curse.

"Now, he's waiting for you. Follow me."

I didn't question, not in the mood to. My curiosity dead for the moment.

She call the place the dragon's aerie and there was no wondering why, every kind of drake, wyrm and wyvern was nested amidst the bleached white rock. There weren't any proper dragons though, only the small kinds.

It had my nerves on end.

"Don't worry," Shanalotte walked up to one of them, "They won't attack whilst I'm with you. Can I ask, what did Nashandra send you to do?"

"She asked me to retrieve something, not what or who from."  
"Not to kill?"

"I was not asked to assassinate another person," Not that I had needed to assassinate Vendrick, "Just retrieve 'something' special for the queen."

Shanalotte nodded, "Alright, he will know what you seek. Though if it's for the queen he may not allow you to leave."

Well, whoever 'he' was, wasn't going to have an easy job if it came to that.

The path Shanalotte took me on eventually turned into a rope bridge spanning a considerable gap, on the other side a castle in the sky.

Not Laputa, let's make that clear. No signs of Gulliver anywhere.

Turns out it wasn't a castle, but a shrine and one dedicated to dragons.

Defenders swarmed the battlements, both large and small.

The smaller defenders in armour reminiscent of dragons knelt in the presence of the herald and the larger knights bowed.

"With all the ceremony, it's almost like you're royalty here," I commented.

Shanalotte sighed, "Let's just say myself and he are kindred spirits. I spent most of my youth with him."

Was anyone in this bloody country able to give me a straight bloody answer?

Again I didn't question her.

Up and up we went until a narrow corridor stood before me. I was the only one to go through.

My mind went blank as I emerged from it, an honest to god dragon was watching me; so this was the 'he' she spoke of.

Holy! Fucking! Shite!

The creature was massive, dwarfing me completely.

Did it speak?

The great beast eyed me up and hissed as I got closer; in response I held out my hand and was met with it's clawed foot.

As soon as contact was made it spoke.

" _Reveal yourself for what you are_ ," It demanded and so I went _naked._

" _You see into my head as well as you do into mine,_ " I met the beast's gaze, " _You are likewise different from_ _your_ _appearance, isn't that correct Giant?_ "

The beast snorted and swayed it tail, " _You are correct, being not of this land. Now speak, why are you here?_ "

I explained that I did not know what I was sent to retrieve, only that it was a trial for the 'true monarch' and that seemed to satisfy the creature, for the most part.

" _And do you wish to aid Nashandra, born of the pygmy lord?_ " It asked.

" _I don't care for her and if it comes to it, I'll be the one to remove her from this existence. What is it I'm looking for?_ "

For several long, drawn out minutes, the creature did not reply and only watched me. It growled then spoke.

" _I accept you, return now to the daughter and receive the egg, then_ I _beseech you talk to my fallen brethren over the false queen. From your memories, you know where._ "

The dragon born from the soul of a giant said nothing else, gesturing with it's foot towards the corridor.

My guess was 'the daughter' was Shanalotte, being the only woman I could see present at the shrine and I could always have a nosey about, if I was wrong.

Back on the other side, the herald was sat swinging her legs on the step. She looked like a child, a little bit of innocence left in her.

I sat down with her and cradled my head in my hands. I was tired, not just physically, but mentally too; I just wanted to go home.

"I need a drink," It wouldn't do no go, but it would numb me for a brief time, "What's the quickest way back to the Gyrm from here?"

The herald placed her hand on my thigh and squeezed, "Drinking is what landed you here in the first place and I'm not looking after your drunken arse again. Once was enough."

I laugh left my lips, "Am I still not enough of a poor, unfortunate wretch to be put under your care? I'm not trying hard enough obviously."

"Have you allowed yourself to cry for her?" She steered the conversation in another direction, "Because if you haven't, you really should. Grief kept bottled up will only hurt you more."

I shook my head, "I want to, but I can't. Let's talk about something else please, do you know of the egg the dragon told me about?"

Her lips twisted in thought and she nodded, "I'll take you."

She took me to a decorated chamber, a pedestal at it's centre and on it a petrified egg. It was as light as air in my hands, even though it felt like is should weigh a ton.

What was I to do with it though?

I could always take it back to Nashandra and shove it right up her tight ars...yeah, let's not go there.

"Break it," Shanalotte suggested.

The outer shell cracked with little pressure into almost perfect halves, it's treasure revealed.

A shimmering light of golden white floated above the pedestal, only a tiny thing. Beautiful whatever it was.

Like the souls before it, the light slipped through my fingers. Then, I don't quite know, it's like it washed over me and gave me a thumping headache.

I was suddenly unsteady on my feet and was steadied by Shanalotte.

"The ashen mist heart is now yours, please don't waste this gift," There was a sternness in her voice, "He trusts you to use it wisely. Don't disappoint him or me, von Bayer."

"I can't promise a thing, I don't even know what that was or is, or what I'm supposed to do with it. Speak with that thing's fallen brethren, what does that even mean?"

It then clicked that thing was a giant, in soul at least.

"I have to go back to cardinal tower, don't I?"

The herald bowed her head, "Yes. A few days in Majula might do you good as well and I need someone to escort me back."

"Alright, I'll be your escort."

Shanalotte then took my hand and violently pulled me away from the pedestal and the shrine; someone wanted to be back home quickly too.

Part of me also thinks that she was doing it to keep my mind from wandering back to the bad. At the speed she was going, I didn't have the time.

When we reached the giant cage, she subdued the drake and I retrieved the steel mask of Aslatiel from what bloodied scraps remained of him.

There was something I needed to do with it.

Shanalotte on seeing how I was looking as the mask began another valiant attempt to distract me and it worked.

She had a knack for that kind of thing; working with so many crestfallen souls had built within her a therapist mindset.

Only when we were in Aldia's keep did she falter, even more so when we passed the room filled with the giant's corpses.

I had more questions for her, but they would have to wait.

The basilisk guarding the entrance was still as restless as myself and Aslatiel had left it.

The two of us bounced ideas off each other on how to pass the oversized reptile; it was decided, by me, that I was to shadow-dance us to the entrance.

"Close your eyes and hold your breath, and if you value your life don't let go of me."

My arms wrapped around her and I began to concentrate, whilst I could now shadow-dance further than I could that time in the Lost Bastille, I still wasn't as confident with the ability.

In what you could say was a blink of an eye, we had gone from the top floor of the keep to the entrance and the trail of blood left by Lucatiel.

Her ashes were still warm and I buried Aslatiel's mask in them; I then clutched the pendant to my breast

"I know it's your brother's mask, honey, but I want it to be with you. Anyway, Shanalotte's here, she's missing you too," I took a handful of ash, "I don't know if I'm going to be back this way again, so you sleep well and I'll look after your soul."

I hid my face from Shanalotte as she knelt and said a few words, ducking into the damaged shed and picking up the tent and blankets.

From there I took the lead, hoping to make the rotunda before midnight. That didn't happen, it was getting too dark and cold for Shanalotte.

I got the tent up a little way off the road, nestled in the trees.

"You said you and the dragon were kindred spirits, what did you mean?" I asked her.

"I wasn't born but created by Aldia, in his quest to make a dragon. The one you met, my oldest friend, was also created by Aldia from the soul of a giant. We were both failed experiments in Aldia's eyes and discarded..." She trailed off.

I knew it best not to pry further, even if my curiosity had grown hungrier.

Who was Aldia?

"Are you going to allow yourself to cry, von Bayer? You're not helping yourself, really."

"Give me time and I will."

I rolled over to face the tent canvas and tried to let the tears fall, I was in danger of giving myself a hernia with just how hard I trying to force the tears.

I wasn't very good at this griefing business and I know somewhere she was having a good laugh at me, shaking her head and saying, "You're hopeless, von Bayer."

That was a long night, tossing and turning as I was.

I gave up and went outside, smoking stick giving off a subtle glow in the early morning. Three hours were spent on hunting hares.

Vix and the old man had trained me well as I bagged 13. Didn't need that many, but they would keep us fed for a few days.

I had a few skinned and gutted by the time dawn broke, roasting them over the fire, along with my small cooking pot filled with vegetables given to me at Drangleic castle. It left Shanalotte pleasantly surprised when she poked her head through the tent flaps.

"I wasn't expecting a cooked breakfast," She plonked herself down by the fire and warmed her hands.

It wasn't long before the hares were done and the meat dropped into the pot to help build the flavour. A simple dish, carrots, onion, barley and the hare meat. Could have done with a pinch of salt and a good heaping of pepper, but I was grateful to have food regardless.

We ate in silence to the sound of the howling wind, the hot food staving off the freezing temperature for the most part.

Shanalotte continued to distract my mind and we made good ground without me even knowing it, passing the rotunda and getting ever closer to Majula.

A sudden snow storm forced us to take shelter in gatehouse on the outskirts of the town. Rather than set the tent up, myself and the herald huddled together in one of the cells.

"Try anything von Bayer and I will hurt you," She warned.

Just to put this out there, huddling together under the same blankets wasn't my idea.

"That's not even funny," I turned away from her and closed my eyes to the world, emotions smouldering below my skin.

On reflection, Shanalotte was only making light of the situation we were in. I was overreacting.

"Are you ready to cry yet?"

I feigned sleep as not to answer her; she was only meaning well.

The next morning Shanalotte had dropped it altogether, focused on finally getting back to Majula. As for me, I was wanting to hide away in the mansion or the field I had been using for arquebus practice, compose myself that way.

I was being a complete and utter child about this, and no, this hasn't gotten any easier to deal with with age.

We crossed through the crumbling archway into the town and I stopped in my tracks, glued to the spot.

The old man was stood at the bonfire clear as day. He looked a little roughed up, but it was definitely him.

I had to reach out and touch him to make sure.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vixen and Vexa, along with the remaining royal guard and one more in strange armour.

All that grief was overtaken by anger.

"You took your fucking time!" I yelled at the woman in strange armour, "I've been here a year, where the hell have you been?"

I took a swing at the woman, only to be blocked by Vixen.

"Calm down, sir," Vixen held me in his vice like grip, "What's the matter?"

"I'm just tired, Vixen. Luca's gone and I'm tired...damn it, I so happy you're alright," I glanced over at Ornstein, "Especially you old man."

He grunted, "I killed dragon's for a living, creature. Did you really think a little fall would kill me?"

Yeah, Ornstein was alright.

The anger melted away.

My attention then turned to the woman in strange armour.

"Go on, take off the mask," I ordered her.

The Reaper did as I asked and I taken aback, before me was the youngest sister of the empress, princess Katrina Reyes.

Only Zoey calls her Katrina though, everyone else calls her Kate or Katie. That being her preference.

"Do you know how long we've been looking for you?" Katie Reyes glared, "Times out of sync here, this world exists in a pocket outside the universe. You've been gone two-hundred and sixty-eight years!"

That long.

Oh, how I despised Drangleic.

The way she was looking at me suggested I was going to receive one of her famous verbal barrages, Kitty-Kat had probably the worst temper out of all six of the Reyes sisters.

The glare softened and she opened her arms wide, "Get over here you idiot, I've missed you."

Vix might have been my best friend here, but back home the only one I ever considered a friend was Katie. She always covered for me when I went on my tavern crawls.

I met the embrace, "I've missed you too Kat, but is it just you?"

"No, I was followed by a regiment of foot, two troop of horse and artillery," That word was foreign to me, "We thought you might have been imprisoned and would have to fight to get you out. We're camped about a mile from, what do you call this place?"

"Majula."

"A mile from Majula. Are you ready to go home?"

Short answer, yes. Long answer, no.

I gave Katie the rundown of the situation at hand, "I've done so much already, Kat. I can't just walk away, and I owe it to my friend to see it through and break this land's curse."

She stood back and studied me for a moment, "I can't tell if you've changed for the better or worse."

I don't think that mattered, I was me regardless of which.

"You come back to the camp with me and you can give me a full explanation, and we can get you all," She gestured to all of me, "sorted out and into proper clothes. Then you can tell me why you're bleeding from your eyes."

"Later," I bent down and picked my arquebus up from the dirt, "I need to clean my equipment and talk with them. You can wait here or come back later."

Katie's lips pressed together in thought and pointed to the group of 'lords', "Introduce me."

With a sigh I took her over to the brute, his sister, the dragon slayer, the herald and...Lucatiel.

It was a bit of a pain translating between Katie and the others, but some communication was managed and everyone introduced.

After I cleared up the fact I wasn't leaving them just yet, I told them all about had happened after we were separated.

Vixen was probably the most sympathetic, as Shanalotte had been, but the conversation soon turned to what was happening next.

"I'm going back to cardinal, brother," I sat with Vix by the bonfire, "Though I still don't know what I'm doing."

Who was I to trust?

Definitely not Nashandra, that much was clear.

"When did you find the old man?" I asked, changing the subject again.

"We didn't, sir. He found us, sat down at the bonfire with us like nothing had happened," Vixen chuckled, before frowning, "Perhaps if we hadn't gotten separated, lady Lucatiel-"

I held up a hand and cut him off, "Don't, it's happened and there's nothing we can do now. I said the same to her brother."

I handed over the pendant for a brief time, letting the brute look over it. He told me it had been made from something called a ring of sacrifice.

"I'm going to miss her," Vix handed it back.

"I already am."

I decided then and there I was going to hunt some game meat, to have something different from hare. I also just wanted to shoot something that wasn't a person and now I had access to my supplies.

Of course I invited Vix, needed my best mate in Drangleic at that moment. I also tried to get Katie to join us, trying to entice her by saying she could play with my toy.

She fixed me with a cool stare, "It's a gun, John. I don't care."

I briefly questioned her about that word 'gun' and then about the fact she knew what it was. Turns out the empire had adopted this kind of weapon (by which I mean the handgonne) about 50 years after my disappearance, she was more interested in the fact this place was so far behind technology wise, amongst other things.

Well, that's what you get when the world you're on is technically separate from the main universe.

She told me she would wait until I got back and then I _would_ follow her back to their camp, when I was finished.

Me and Vix left the others and went off into the wilds surrounding Majula; I needed that time desperately. More than the time relaxing in Drangleic castle.

Seven ducks were unfortunate enough to cross my path and there would have been an eighth, if not for a little interruption.

Vix looked at me and asked, "Do you smell horse?"

I did, that unmistakable smell of sweat and saddle rot.

Several of them then thundered out of the brush, oddly armoured men atop of the majestic beasts. It was terrifying.

I hate cavalry with a passion, mostly out of fear alone.

You've probably already guessed who's cavalry they were.

The commander halted his troop and dismounted, pulled off his bronze helm and held it under his arm.

When he saw my face, he went down on both knees and apologised for charging us.

Katie had buggered off looking for me and had left them to 'train' or whatever. They had heard the arquebus and thought they were under attack.

The cavalry commander grovelled a bit and told me he'd go straight back to camp.

Good to know that after a 268 year absence they still treated me as their true emperor.

The small troop galloped off and we called it a day.

"Is that what you gods really wear into battle, sir? It looks almost archaic," The brute commented, looking back over his shoulder at the distant horse troops.

For you, dear reader, I'd like you to imagine knights in full bronze plate armour (as in late 15th century AD German and not 12th century BC Mycenaean), wearing Corinthian helmets, and carrying an aspis and lance.

I know...the style was a holdover from the early Erebayan army when hoplites ruled the field of battle.

And for the one person who probably wont ask, no, they're not like hippeis.

It's amazing how long we held onto bronze too, I'm not complaining by the way because it worked.

Our bronze smiths were the best; as of writing we have moved on.

"Can I come with you to your people's camp?"

"You don't need to ask, Vix. The lot of you can come, but please gag your sister, I'm not dealing with any more of her questions," I readied myself to head back.

The idea of having to gag his sister amused the brute and he began laughing, "That won't stop her, sir. It might also put ideas in her head, sir. Don't put ideas in her head."

I ran a hand over my face and joined with the laughing, "I don't mean literally gag her, from what I can guess she'd enjoy it."

Vix shook his head and frowned, killing the conversation.

Alright, not something I should be joking about with Vixen.

"Oh and I'm cooking these. You and Ornstein aren't allowed near them," After the palaver with the wild chickens in Venn, I was not letting that old man near bird meat.

Yes, it had been months since the incident, but I wasn't risking them food poisoning themselves again.

We managed to snag two more ducks on the walk back; I felt much better, but that little grain of grief was still eating at me.

Back in Majula the game was well received, even more after it had been prepared and cooked. I can say proudly, I poisoned no-one. I lorded this fact over Ornstein.

All that time, princess Reyes was hovering. Bottle green eyes were on everything, never lingering for more than a few seconds.

"Will you come with me now?" She asked impatiently.

Whilst I invited the others, only Vix wanted to tag along.

Both he and I were in shock after the short walk.

A regiment of foot, two troop of horse and artillery, my pale white arse! She'd brought half the bloody army to find me.

Thousands of imperial soldiers swarmed around cream coloured tents, the banners of the empress limply swayed on poles.

They looked so different from when I had last seen them, other than the heavy cavalry.

A regiment was formed up as we entered, every man looking surprised to see me. I could overhear their gossiping about my state or the size of Vixen, or how it was really me.

Their officers silenced them all with a shout.

The ranking officer dismounted from his horse and walked over. It was one of the nobles I'd been out drinking with before I got lost.

Viscount von Strepp struck me across the jaw, "Next time we go drinking we're putting you on a leash. Do you have any idea what the empress did to us, after we came back without you?"

I held my tongue.

"It is good to see you're alright, your highness," von Strepp grunted and started to show off his men.

Do you remember, dear reader, when myself and the old man had a discussion on the hypothetical application of the arquebus?

Most of the footsoldiers were pikemen and their weapons looked nasty, 19 foot of ash tipped with a bronze spearhead. They only wore morions and breastplates with tassets as armour.

They would be formed into tight formations, I should probably just say phalanxes and on the wings would stand the arquebusiers.

Speaking of which, I handed Vixen mine and borrowed one carried by an imperial soldier.

His was lighter, had a trigger over a lever and the lock was different.

Both von Strepp and Katie tried to stop me from loading it, saying that as an emperor I shouldn't be messing with such a crude weapon only used by the low born. Something a little hypocritical when it comes to the viscount.

I gave them my answer in the form of firing the piece and loved the way the match snapped down immediately.

I handed it back and thanked the young soldier.

The brute looked uneasy at the sight of all the arquebus' and I'll admit, so did I. One on it's own could do a lot of damage if used right, so what about hundreds of them?  
I was however really impressed with the men sent to find me. I was even more impressed, however, with these things Katie had called artillery.

What can I say, cannon are cannon.

They gave me and Vix a demonstration.

I think it's possible the brute shit himself when they fired the piece and witnessed the iron ball skip over the ground, kicking up snow and splintering a tree.

He swallowed, "I'm happy I'm your friend, sir and not fighting you. I wonder what lady Lucatiel would have said?"

"Probably something rather demeaning towards me, brother," I bit my lip, "Nah, she would have been awestricken and terrified, like us. Anyway, a nice little bit of insurance if Nashandra tries to pull anything. Did I tell you she kissed me?"

The blank expression on Vix's face told me no, so I enlightened him.

His reaction was similar to how Luca's had been.

As we were talking von Strepp dismissed his men and gestured towards the largest of the tents. We followed and shown to the other nobles that had followed Katie.

Most were happy to see me well.

I was finally back amongst my own kind.

Drinks were passed around and a toast made to my health.

Katie stood and addressed the nobles, "His highness, the emperor has unfinished business in this land, once this business is concluded we can leave this forsaken place and put his highness back on the throne."

That was when von Strepp coughed, "About that your highnesses, it appears we cannot use the same entrance. That passage is only one way."

He had to be fucking joking!

"So what you're saying is we're all now stuck here?" My voice was raised, "Fucking wonderful! You cunts can stay right here, I'm leaving. Don't follow me, I'll come back when I've decided you're I'm not going to have you all hanged from incompetence."

It wouldn't kill them, but it would still hurt.

I stormed out of the tent with the brute in tow and Katie hot on our heels, shouting at me and stamping her foot when I ignored her.

When we were out of sight I swore my heart out.

"Is it too much to ask just to go home?" I kicked pebbled into the dead brush, "At least now I can take Drangleic from Nashandra by force, if needs be. Would you be opposed to me taking Vendrick's place, brother?"

"No. If that's what you want sir, I'll support you."

I've always valued Vixen's loyalty, the man would follow me anywhere. Has followed me just about anywhere.

"Right then. When we get back to Majula prepare for the journey back to cardinal tower, I have no idea what we're in for, but I'd like to be ready. We leave first thing tomorrow."

Vix bowed his head, "Yes sir...let's hope it's the means to break the curse."

"Yeah, let's hope."


	17. Speaking to the Dead

**Hello me dears and I hope you're all doing well.  
** **You all know the drill by know, so I'm not going to say anything other than I do hope you enjoy the mess.**

* * *

"Have you allowed yourself to cry yet?" Shanalotte pestered me as I stripped my arquebus, putting down a tin mug by my leg.

She urged me to try the drink.

Traders had been through and brought delicacies from far off lands, one of which was boiled in water and drank.

I'm pretty sure by now most of the blood in my body has been replaced with tea, cut me and Darjeeling pours out.

It was pleasantly bitter, the way I like my tea.

Yes, I'm one of those people who never puts sugar in and uses the bare minimum of milk, a literal drop.

I'm not happy if my tea ain't tar.

"My people are likely to come sniffing about, let them. The language barrier might be a problem, but as long as no-one provokes them, you should be fine," I took another sip of the foreign drink.

Shanalotte rolled her eyes, "I put up with you, I think I can handle a few more."

"There are forty thousand Erebayan soldiers camped over that hill, Shanalotte," I glanced in the camps direction, "Don't allow any of the undead to provoke them, because they'll flatten this little haven in a heartbeat."

"Oh how lovely, an army of the gods come to Drangleic," Said a voice in singsong way, my lap was then suddenly occupied by the ball of fluff Shalquoir.

She pushed her head against my hand, evidently wanting a scratch behind the ear.

I obliged the kitty.

"I smell that ancient thing on you," She looked up, "A little visit to the aerie, eh and it gifted you the heart of ashen mist?"

Well, wasn't that a surprise? The cat already knew about it.

She told me to talk to the tree, which I thought was frankly ridiculous; I'm not a damn hippy!

"If you would let me finish," Shalquoir pawed at my free hand, "The tree behind the king's door is the one you're looking for. I assume you know which door that would be."

I pulled Vendrick's ring from my pocket, "Yeah, this unlocks it. Should have the same seal as well."

For my getting the answer correct, I was of course expected to give the cat a reward.

Cat logic?

She said little else on the matter, other than to make contact with the tree itself.

I held the ball of fluff up to eye level, "Thank you Shalquoir, I'll cook up that last duck for you."

She struggled out of my grip and knocked over the tin mug as she landed.

"One duck is adequate payment for my advice," The ball of fluff purred, swaying her tail happily and walked off towards one of the building.

The herald pulled a face, "Didn't we eat all the ducks last night?"

"Yes," A smirk graced my lips, "But I'm planning on leaving before she finds out."

"Oh, and leave me with the aftermath. When it comes to being difficult, she ranks with you and this will put her into a difficult mood," The herald slapped my arm lightly, "And speaking of your people sniffing about."

I turned my head to where Shanalotte was looking and would you believe it, princess Reyes was walking into Majula, flanked by two dismounted heavy cavalrymen.

I focused on cleaning my weapon, being deliberately annoying by ignoring her. I even lit up some smoking leaf, smile at Katie, opened my mouth as if the speak and continued to ignore them.

"She's going to hit you, you know."

"Possibly," I blew smoke to the sky, "But I don't care, I'm not happy with them."

I looked to my cooking pot, checking on the water and was satisfied with the temperature.

When I finished plugging the powder vent, I poured a little bit of water down the barrel.

"What do you want, Kat?"

The Reaper snorted angrily, "For you to stop acting like a damned child, Jonathon-Fredrick!"

Uh-oh, she was using my full name. I was in trouble.

Me and Zo both agree that she's adorable when she's trying to be angry.

"Come back to camp this moment, viscount von Strepp and the others wish to speak to you."

I upended the arquebus allowing the water to run free, then ran a rag on the end of the scouring rod down the barrel and repeated the process with the water.

"Relay a message for me," Pause for dramatic effect, "Fuck off, I'm busy."

Princess Reyes reacted negatively to the message and forcefully attempted to make me stand. I wholly opposed to this show of brute force, forget about cleaning my weapon and drove it's butt into her stomach.

Something she has yet to forgive me for.

In the same movement, I had spun around and levelled the weapon at the two cavalrymen.

Yes, it was useless in it's state and yes, it probably escalate things further and yes, not what I should have done in the slightest.

To cut this short, Katie drew her own sword and challenged me a personal duel. Something I had never heard of, but had become a thing back in Erebay.

She wasn't wearing the usual _schara_ on her hip, but a rapier and it looked like she knew how to use it.

To cut this even shorter, I won.

By now you should know I don't fight cleanly.

When Kat thrust, I knocked the blade aside and punched her with the hilt of my own sword.

The Reaper spat blood and backed off behind her guard, pulling an expression that dripped disbelief.

"I've not just been sat on my arse, twiddling my thumbs Kat. I'll be back in ten days at the most and when I get back, you better have found a way out of Drangleic."

She cursed my name and slunk off back toward their camp.

To my right, the herald shook her head, "You see what bottling up your grief has done? That could have been resolved without blood."

"No," I forced more leaf into my smoking stick, "I'm not in a mood because of Luca's hollowing. I'm pissed because men and women vastly more intelligent then me, decided to march forty-thousand soldier in here without knowing how to get out."

The wind pick up around us, sending a howl through the village.

"Anyway," I continued, "Princess Reyes was the one who instigated the fight and a little bit of wounded pride won't hurt her. Now, if you will excuse me."

I picked up my things and wandered over to Vix.

The brute already had the tents and other things for our travel packed and bundled together, with the exception of his sister's. He was sat eating with the dragon slayer.

"I was watching that, creature, "Ornstein tossed over a wine-skin, "We desperately need to teach you how to use that sword. Wouldn't you agree, pursuer?"

The brute agreed and then reminded me of our little bet, "You owe me money, sir."

I had hoped Vix had forgotten about that, I did however now have the means to see that bet paid in full.

I dropped a small coin purse into the brute's great hand.

"And where did that come from?" He checked it's contents, finding gold coins within.

"Found it," I replied.

"Where?" He repeated.

"On viscount von Strepp, yesterday."

"Let me see if I've got this right, sir," The brute brought his hand to his chin, "You stole it."

"No, von Strepp misplaced it. His own fault," Which it was, "He owed me anyway and my magic fingers couldn't help themselves."

There was a momentary silence as Vix shook his head.

"What was that about magic fingers?" Yawned Vexa, crawling out of her tent. Her hair was dishevelled and she was half naked.

The redhead rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned a second time.

I deadpanned, "My fingers aren't any of your business and get some clothes on, you bloody nympho."

Vexa inhaled sharply.

"Vixen, he's bullying me again," She whined.

"Sir, don't bully my sister," The brute sighed defeatedly, "And Vexa, put some clothes on."

Vexa clicked her tongue and went back inside the canvas.

The brute picked up from where we had been interrupted, "I don't think stealing is something most emperors do, sir."

"I second the opinion," The dragon slayer added, "At least, they don't steal like that."

I, personally, didn't have that much of problem with the act as long as you don't get caught. I sort of still hold that attitude, but only food and if you're starving, and never from your friends or fellow soldiers.

"Well, just think of it as me taking my bit of the taxes," I began to roll my shoulders, feeling a slight stiffness in them and finished with a crack of my neck.

I think Luca would have had a word or two to say on the matter.

Not just a thug, but a thief too!

"On a separate note gentlemen, do you think it's possible for us to be underway within the hour?" We really needed to leave sooner than later.

The dragon slayer informed me that we were only waiting on Vexa and she took her sweet time, demanding that she be allowed to use Majula's bathhouse.

She continued to take her time after that; I thought I was bad with my baths, but Vexa was in a league of her own.

She returned to us in a good mood, clean and with cut hair.

It was a messy cut and short, and it suited her. She had done it that way more so for her helmet, than out of any particular style.

I had queued mine again, which proved difficult in it's current frizzy state. Not one undead was carrying a comb or brush and that annoyed me.

I rather dislike my hair being damaged; the only split ends I want are the New Zealand kind and unfortunately I'd have to wait until 72 for them.

Now, I must stop myself before I go on a tangent about the _Enz_.

The four of us were eventually ready to leave, Vexa having preened herself and orders given to the remaining royal guard.

Lenigrast came to me with a new morion, which by this point had lost most of the crest and small pieces had been added to the sides as ear protection.

It was more of a pikeman's pot, so perhaps I should call it that instead.

The herald saw us off as we set off along the coastal path towards cardinal tower, wishing us luck in our endeavour.

What I had initially travelled through a year earlier had been completely transformed by the winter. Lush green trees replaced with dead browns.

"A year already Vix, can you believe it?"

"I can believe an agreed upon measurement of time, sir."

"I was trying to be sentimental, you prick," The bastard ruined my mood, until I noticed the smirk on his lips, "Cheekiness don't suit you, brother."

"Yes sir, but..." I knew there was going to be a but, "...I also need to keep myself entertained."

Cheeky cunt.

The brute laughed, then closed his visor and we all stopped.

"Where about are they, creature?" Ornstein enquired, scanning the dead brush.

"Several hundred metres behind us and closing fast. Dismounted heavy cavalry, I can smell the body oil," I crushed a flame butterfly against my match, "Help me up into a tree."

Vix gave me a boost and they set up on the ground defensively.

The clanking of heave bronze plate grew louder and I checked my match alignment. I was only going to fire close to them, a warning shot.

We waited to spring upon them; they weren't going to drag me back.

"I hope you weren't planning on shooting me, Jonathan," Princess Reyes lips were at my ear and a stiletto dagger at my throat.

Managing to look down, I found that our pursuers were not behind us, but had been in front, waiting.

"Damn you, Kat. You humbugged us," I crushed the match tip in my fingers, "When the hell did you pass us?"

"Three mile back," She frowned and I got a good look at where I'd struck her. Katie's pretty face was bruised and her upper lip hadn't healed properly.

She had split her small force, only two men had been tailing us and had been making as much noise as possible.

I was dragged down from the tree.

The three 'lords' were being held at spear point, not that I think any of them would have trouble taking the dismounted cavalry.

When I was on terra firma they stood down and all tilted their helmets backwards, so the cheeks rested on the top of their heads.

"I'm not going back with you, Kat," I stood my ground.

Katie grunted, "We're not here to take you back, you fool. We're here to aid you and Marius wants his money back."

"Money? What money?" I shot a glance towards Vixen, telling him to keep his gob shut, "And I doubt we'll need your help."

The Reaper growled, "You don't get a say, John. It was decided long ago that when we found you, you were to be put under constant supervision."

And I had a clear idea of who ordered it.

"Alright, you can supervise me, but you do as _I_ say," A single flake of snow fell between us, followed by a second larger flake. Another snow storm was on it's way, the clouds were heavy laden with it. Swollen and black.

"Ornstein, Vexa" I bellowed at the dragon slayer and looking-glass knight, "These men are yours until which point we are back in Majula."

The old man raised his visor, "Firstly creature, don't give me orders. Secondly, we don't know a single word in your tongue. Thirdly, you said they were cavalry, I know nothing about commanding cavalry."

"As I can't see or smell any horses in the vicinity, use them as regular foot soldiers and don't worry about not speaking the language, relay you're orders through me."

The old man nodded and Vexa didn't really care, she just shrugged her shoulder.

I then informed the men Katie had brought with her.

One in particular wasn't happy.

"I am not taking orders from some stinking, primitive mortals," The man argued, "You cannot make us do that."

Oh, this one was a piece of work by the name of Augustine Morales, the son of a minor lord and one of the commanders of these cavalrymen.

His other argument was that seeing as I had been gone for so long, I had no power over them any more.

We sorted this little dispute out with a headbutt, and me threatening to strip him of his immortality and having him hanged from the closest tree.

To the rest of the men, "I know I've been gone for hundreds of years and that I never took my position seriously, but that's changed, you _will_ do as _I_ say now. If sir Ornstein, sir Kellantine or lady Kellantine give you an order, you _will_ fulfil it to the best of your abilities. Do you understand?"

I was met with silence.

"I said, do you understand?"

"Yes, your majesty," They replied in one voice, even Augustine Morales.

Most the cavalry were of a minor noble status anyway. The price of all their armour, weapons and horses was astronomical, so you sort of had to be a noble to be a cavalryman.

The old man had them form up behind us in column, whilst we led the way.

My hope was we reach the first of the villages nestled within the trees by sundown or just after, with 27 of us now, I had a feeling it was going to be a little difficult.

There was something else bugging me too, "Where are their horses, Kat?"

The Reaper huffed, she wasn't speaking to me.

"And you call me the child, honestly Kat. I never knew you were such a sore looser," I teased.

She huffed louder, "I would have won if you'd fought fairly."

Exactly, that's why I didn't.

"I don't like the way you've changed," Her bottle-green eyes narrowed, "In fact, I don't think I like you as you are."

"Yeah well, it's not been a fun year, Kat. Told you already, haven't just been sitting around scratching my arse waiting," I lit some smoking leaf.

Katie dug her hand into her hip bag, "I know, you left this when you ran off yesterday and I read it."

She handed me the small book I'd bought from Gavlan all those months ago, filled with all my notes and random thoughts.

I know I said it was my firework book, but it was more than that.

She dropped the book into my palm and I thumbed through to the last page with my scrawl on it.

"Giants, heretics, daemons, monstrous spiders, undead," Katie listed off, "Who's the woman you're damning at the end?"

I pocketed the book and gave Katie my hand. I showed her the highlights, so to say.

"I was in good hands, Kat. Luca kept me right through this mess," A lump rose in my throat, "You missed her by a week."

"That's her around your neck, isn't it?"

"The only time I will ever be able to hold a soul," My mind wandered for awhile, "I can't get Reaper's Lament out of my head. It's so bloody cliché."

"Have you properly mourned for her?" The Reaper echoed Shanalotte.

I ignored the question, focusing on the snow flakes dancing around us.

"I'll take your silence as a no and I never expected a blonde," There was a ghost of a smile on her lips, "You know Zoey wouldn't have approved."

There it was, the reminder of empress Zoey Reyes.

I love my wife, I do. Let's make that incredibly clear, but back then…Zo has always wanted control of everything. She's autocratic and domineering.

If she had me, she would have control of the entire empire and that scares the shit out of me, I don't trust her to have that much power.

She was in for a very nasty shock when I got back to Erebay, small army in tow.

I suppose you don't care, dear reader, and so I shall go on.

"I don't give a toss about what your sister would have thought, she has no say in who I form relationships with. I know I've been gone a long time, but she needs to remember we hold the same office," I took a drag and exhaled slowly through my nose, smoke billowing out my nostrils, "Luca's gone anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"If I could take that pain from you, I would," Katie caught a snowflake in her palm, "But mortals die, that isn't new to you."

"I'm aware, Kat," She didn't need to tell me, "I hate this fucking place."

I stopped, a thought coming into my head, "Run away with me, Kat. We'll run away from all this, and lead a life of scandal and debauchery. Run away with me, so I don't have to run away alone."

My little request stopped her too and painted her ashen cheeks a brilliant crimson, her reply was spluttered and stuttered in such a clumsy fashion.

I silenced the fumbling Reaper.

"It was a joke, Kitty-Kat. I can't ru-"

"Will you two stop rabbiting and shut up!" The dragon slayer interrupted, "That language of yours is grating."

That fall he'd taken had done very little to him, same old dragon slayer.

I cleared my throat, "Me, emperor. She, princess. We do whatever we want."

Ornstein pointed to himself "Me, getting angry. Will shut you up creature, by any means possible."

Rather than complying with the old man I decided to speak with Katie using Archaic, which sounds even harsher.

"Their souls are strange to look at," Katie noted, "They look funny, almost artificial. They're not natural. I would like to get my hands on one."

Before she asked me to hand over Luca I called ahead to the brute, asking him if he had any souls on him.

He dug out a small glowing soul that had belonged to the Syan captain I'd shot and told him to give it to the Reaper.

She studied it intentely.

Not even Katie could figure out what was with the souls in the land.

The snow continued to get heavier; we did make it to the first village and found the people hospitable, after we gave them payment.

Tents went up, food was prepared and we all turned in early.

I had a good nights sleep and so apparently did Kat.

Thing about Katie is she really likes her bed, amongst other things.

She likes to hold something in her sleep, usually a stuffed toy of some description, of which she had many and most of which were either created or purchased by me.

Katie also does not do well with the cold

On occasions such as this, when she does not have one of her cuddly toys and it's 10 degrees below freezing, she has been known to sneak into other people's bed so she can hold onto something and leech warmth.

I was not surprised to find her latched onto me like a koala, legs and arms wrapped around me as they were. It had happened before, to me, to her sisters and one unfortunate guardsman.

She's special, very much like myself.

What I wasn't expecting was to find Vexa latched onto my other arm, thin line of saliva running down her chin.

Somehow, I still find it difficult to believe she's the mother of my youngest child.

Have I told you about Amber?

Looks just like her mother, but with my eyes.

She turned 7 last month; bugger me if time doesn't slip by without notice.

Anyway, I assume that most men would be happy to wake up to two beautiful women either side of them. Me, as I am, was wondering why Vexa and Kate had congregated in my tent at the same time.

With an inward groan, I decided to wake them

"Katrina! Vexa!" I thought a gentle yell would be best to rouse them. Then came the having to translate the same thing to both of them.

"The hell are you doing in my tent?"

The literal personification of death tightened her grip on me in response and nuzzled her cheek into my arm, moaning that it was too cold.

To be honest, Kat's like this regardless of the weather. She just likes being in her bed and I don't blame her, then again, she doesn't have children.

On the other hand, Vexa let go of my arm with a yawn and a stretch, and rolled over smiling at me.

When I questioned her on my finding her in my tent, the redhead replied with, "I saw her sneak into your tent last night, I thought it would be fun to join her. It was nice to lay alongside you."

If that was her reason, I couldn't complain.

…

…

…

My fucking arse I couldn't.

"Get out of my tent, you bloody nympho!"

The redhead smirked and did as Katie did, she was only doing it because it would wind me up and it was.

"Vixen said you wanted to have me gagged," She fluttered her lashes, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"The kind that's gonna find my boot up her arse, if she doesn't get out of my tent," I pulled my arm free and started to pry princess Reyes from the other.

My saviour came in the form of Vix.

"Have you seen Vexa, sir? She isn't in her tent," He pulled apart the tent flap and did a double take, "Sir, why do you have my sister in your tent?"

Vexa answered for me, "With blondie not being here any more, I thought he would be lonely."

Neither me nor him took well to that.

"You've got ten seconds to get out of the tent, before you become the late lady Vexa Kellantine," I warned her.

"You would evict me without clothes?"

As she said it, Vexa guided my hand under the blankets until they reached her naked form.

I sniffed, "Things can be taken too far and you've just pole vaulted over that line, Vexa."

With a little bit of wriggling about, I managed to free myself from the grasp of death and miss Kellantine. The former curled up, bringing her knees to her chest.

"I'm going for a smoke," I told the brute, "When I come back to pull down the tent, I want your sister out if it and in some clothes, and princess Reyes back into her own tent."

Vixen bowed his head, "Sir."

I was greeted by the brisk morning air and the glow of several fires.

The old man was sat shaving, utilising one the heavy cavalrymen as a mirror holder.

The spot next to him looked inviting.

I started to prepare my smoking stick when Ornstein stopped and dropped something into my lap.

It was a long, thin thing made of rolled and dried leaf. A thin cigar basically.

We as soldiers are not allowed to carry any unnecessary equipment and pipes fall under that category, thus when we got stuff to smoke we'd just roll the leaves up and have it that way.

A practice that had become common in my absence and which I discovered that morning.

"One of your boys gave me a few. Now you can stop smoking mine," The old man continued to scrape away stubble, wincing as he nicked himself with the blade.

I gave my lump of smoking leaf to the old man and lit up the Erebayan cigar.

Behind us, Vixen was berating his sister and using some rather colourful language.

The redhead was looking away disinterested, a blanket wrapped around her tall frame. Some of the men were watching, mostly staring at Vexa and her uncovered legs.

"Shift yourselves," I stood and hollered, "And keep your cocks in your breeches or I'll have you all made eunuchs."

Katie sat down rubbing the sleep from her eyes, pulled the cigar from my lips and took a drag herself.

I snatched it back, "Stay in your own tent tonight, you're not in Erebay, Kat. I don't want to say this again."

The Reaper mumbled her apology, an embarrassed blush on her cheeks.

That following night she did not come into my tent.

No, I found her in with a startled Vixen.

"Look sir, I didn't do anything. You have to believe me, sir," He panicked, "She was just there, sir."

"Vix brother, calm down. I know nothing happened," I groaned inwardly, "I'll have words with her. Anyway, let's exchange. Your sister for a princess."

"Again?"

With a sigh I nodded, "I think I know what's going on and I think it's got Shanalotte written all over it."

I scooped up the still asleep Reaper a deposited her back in her own tent, then retired to mine and was unable to fall. The same befell me the night after and so I decided to join the watch.

"Should you be out here, your majesty?" The watchman asked, "It's not very comfortable."

"I'm fine, thought I'd lend an extra pair of eyes," I sat down and laid my arquebus across my lap.

The watchman stared at it, "So, these people have guns too. It looks a little old however, your majesty."

I offered the piece up, seeing if he wanted to have a look.

"It's the only one, that I know of. I had the other ones destroyed," It did beg the question of whether or not any of the other kingdoms outside of Venn had the same technology. Drangleic and Eleum Loyce didn't, but it didn't mean the others were without.

Another question came to me and one I wanted an answer for, "Why are you lot dismounted? Where are your horses?"

The watchman looked to his feet sheepishly, "Commander Morales suggested we practice by raiding what seemed to be an empty farm. Turns out it wasn't empty and we caused a lot of damage. Viscount von Strepp made us hand over our horses as payment for the damages."

I wasn't impressed in the slightest and the watchman had it right not to meet my gaze.

You might think it a waste handing over the horses, but out of 40,000 men present, 9000 were cavalry. So, 23 men without horses was nothing.

It's always been said that in the cavalry, the horse was the one with all the brains and I agree.

The watchman gingerly handed back my arquebus and offered me a smoke.

"You better not do anything stupid from now on, cos' sir Ornstein won't deal with any nonsense."

"Yes, you majesty," The watchman turned away, "Another thing, your majesty. Am I allowed to know where we are heading?"

I didn't see why not, "A coastal fortress or what's left of it. Cleared it out last time we were there, so I doubt there'll be much fighting."

There was no way of really knowing, more hollows could have moved in. It had been a year after all.

A branch snapped behind us and someone started talking.

"Just seen that whore crawl into the emperor's tent again," He grunted, "A mortal, bloody disgusting. I think his majesty should have been left to rot, if that's what he's in to."

I cleared my throat, "Is that so Augustine, because that sounds very much like treason to me and that whore, you spoke of, just so happens to be nobility and knighted."

Me voice remained nice and calm, like it was talking to him casually.

"Y-your majesty!" His eyes widened.

"Are we going to have problems, you and I, because I'd rather not have problems with you Augustine Morales."

The cavalry commander swallowed audibly.

"Mr Morales, I want an answer."

"No, your majesty, but your fraternizing with mortals isn't proper," He stubbornly replied, "They are in no way our equals."

I passed my arquebus back to the watchman and drove my fist into Morales' gut, doubling him over. Perhaps I should have given him a second chance to provide me with the correct answer.

"We'll put that statement to the test tomorrow. You can fight with the whore and we'll see whose superior," I chased the cunt away and snatched my arquebus back.

The watchman spoke up, "You're not going to shoot him, your majesty?"

And waste a bullet?

I'd let him be and deal with him in the morning.

So, it was back to the tent with me and to a yawning redhead.

She held up her hand before I could open my mouth, "I know, don't say it, I'll leave."

"Wait a moment, Vexa," I sat down cross-legged, "This stops tonight, please. It's a valiant effort, but it's not working. That is if Shanalotte did ask you to distract me?"

Vexa pursed her lips, "She might have said something in passing, but you're wrong. I'm successfully annoying you, which is victory in my book."

"Have you ever managed to hold onto a lover for more that a few months?" I asked with a smirk.

She immediately answered, "I don't need a few months, all I need are a few hours."

Don't know why, but that got me laughing hard, "Damn me if I don't like that about you. Let's see what happens in the future, but let me be for a bit."

I paused and took a sip from the nearby wineskin.

"There is something you can do for me, that would make me a happy man."

"Go on," She reclined.

"Tomorrow, you're going to beat the ever loving shit out of someone in single combat," It was a simple request, "Can you do that for me, Vexa?"

The redhead snorted in amusement, "Oh come on, at least give me something challenging."

Full of piss and vinegar, is Vexa. She never even asked why.

"Don't you bloody lose," I waggled a finger in her face.

"I'll want something in return," Vexa propped herself up on her elbow and when I asked what, she just grinned, "I'll tell you when I've won."

She closed her eyes and laid back down, pulling a blanket over herself.

I wasn't dislodging her; thankfully Kat stayed in her own tent that night.

The morning came quickly and in the dawn ethereal rays we waited.

Augustine was already in his armour, helm tipped back and swaggering around all cocksure. The man was twirling about his spear, like it was baton.

The brute was helping his sister with her armour and wasn't at all happy with me.

"She'll be fine, Vix and if things do go sideways, I'll put a shot into him for his treasonous remarks," I took the upper cannon and fixed it to her arm, lacing it tight over her arming doublet. The whole set weighed a few ton at the most, so how she moved in it was a mystery.

I also got to see the shield Vexa used, for the first time.

She always had it wrapped in waxed canvas and it was an unusual bit of craftsmanship.

"Vexa, dear," I ran my hand along it's surface, "I hate to tell you this, but your shield's a mirror, not a shield."

"It's a magic shield," She shrugged.

"Supposedly," Vixen added, "In all the years you've had it, sister, there has not been once instance of it being magic."

"Oh, it really is magic," She stood her ground on the position, "I witnessed it with my own eyes."

"Really, sister. When and where?"

"Oh, before we were reunited and somewhere you've never been."

Along with being full of piss and vinegar, she's also full of so much shit.

I got the rest armour on her arm and started on the other. Following that came the struggle of getting her breast and backplate fixed, being the heaviest part of the plate.

I was teetering on my toes.

Vexa tucked a stray strand of hair under her arming cap and smiled.

The three of us found our way over to the waiting Augustine and other cavalrymen watching around the outside.

With little hesitation the duel began. Both lunged, trying to to get the first strike is.

Vexa with an overhead swing and Augustine with a short thrust at the redhead's arm.

They circled each other, hurling insults in their respective languages.

Bronze against steel; god verses mortal.

One of the cavalrymen tapped my shoulder and dropped a purse into my hand, it was the senior commander and Katie's personal guard.

When I enquired as to why I'd been given it, he whispered in my ear, "Myself and the boys had made a wager, the first one to strike young Augustine would win himself a purse of gold. Whilst you weren't present when that wager was made, you highness, you were the one to strike him and twice at that. Myself and the boys would like you to take it. Perhaps this will learn him his lesson."

That purse was swiftly taken from my hand by princess Reyes, so that I could 'repay' Marius von Strepp.

The princess was equally unimpressed with this fight.

Looking back, Augustine had Vexa on the back foot, sending a flurry of spear thrusts at her head. The redhead reversed the position, using her great shield to break the spearhead; Augustine reversing the shaft and using the butt spike.

It was an entertaining fight, entertaining enough that I had forgotten about Morales' comments.

The fight came to it's climax as both Vexa and Augustine landed killing/disabling attacks at the same time.

Vexa's sword was at Augustine's neck under the helmet line, contact made with his throat. She had, however, over extended and opened up the underside of her arm.

The butt spike of Augustine's spear was at her armpit.

Silence fell amongst us, apart from the panting coming from both combatants.

"Alright, fun's over. Start breaking down the tents." I relayed Ornstein's order, walking up to Vexa and Augustine.

The pair had already removed their helmets and were shaking hands, though through the smiles they were still cursing each other.

"I want no more of that superiority bullshit from you," I got in cavalry commander's face, "And I don't want any other kind of negative comment either."  
"Your highness," He bowed and asked my forgiveness.

I told him I would consider it.

He bowed again and walked off.

To Vexa I sent a frown, "Was that challenging enough for you or would you prefer something harder?"

The redhead blew air through her lips.

She hadn't expected to have been hit as well.

"You fought well, Vex. You didn't outright beat him, but you matched him blow for blow."

"But I wanted to look all impressive in front of you and Vixen, and beat him without a scratch," She huffed, "I didn't want to draw."

I hid a smirk behind my hand, but the laugh that followed betrayed me.

Vexa scowled, "Don't laugh at me."

I laughed even more, "You wanted to impress me? Oh, that is cute. Goodness, that's put me in a wonderful mood. In fact, I feel inspired to write some music about it. How does this sound, ' _the whore and the arrogant god'_?"

"What do you mean _the whore_?"

Vexa received the full story as to why I'd asked her to fight with little euphoria.

"Well, I punched him for you. You're honour's intact," We walked over to the nearby bonfire, "And you proved you weren't so inferior. You were very impressive."

"Tch" The redhead clicked her tongue, "Too late, mister. I also demand two requests now."

"Fine, fine," I waved my hand, "But keep those request clean and no more crawling into my tent at nights."

What do I call all of this?

Madness? Silliness? Something or other?

It was over, regardless and on we marched. The fortress looming before us, the dilapidated glory of it's skeletal remains a monument to the past.

But where to find the king's door?

At the broken tower the first of the hollows crawled out of the brush, half a sword in one decayed hand and a fractured remains of a round shield in the other. The boss was the most intact part, thus it's defence did very little against six spears.

More wandered aimlessly within the fortress and not the old defenders, but hollowed royal soldiers in their full plate; even gaolers from the Bastille.

The place was thick of them and the fortress' narrow halls made it difficult to fight them all.

Myself and Kat did little, apart from me having to fire up a crossbowman or two. One cheeky bastard was hiding round a corner, loosing bolts madly.

I pegged the hollow in the thigh or at least I thought it was a hollow, his cried told me otherwise, clutching at his leg.

The old man and one of my men attempted to get information out of the royal soldier, but he bled out before anything useful could be ascertained.

"I bet you that's one of Nashandra's men."

"Weren't you telling me you were in her favour, sir? Why would she send men after us?" The brute asked, picking through the dead man's possessions for anything useful.

There was only one thing I could think of, "Forty-thousand foreign soldiers isn't something that tends to go unnoticed, brother. I told her I'd take Drangleic, if I it thought it necessary and she doesn't want to share."

The threatened queen was lashing out at me.

"I'm not what she's looking for, I'm only opening doors; fetching and carrying and the like, and on the topic of doors," I handed off my gun to the brute, digging around in my pocket for Vendrick's ring.

The door clicked and the lock disengaged, and the whole thing swing back, revealing the rusted armour of fallen Syan knights. Their bones picked clean and bleached white.

My tree was waiting, hunched over.

Remember what the kitty had told me, I made contact with it.

There was a light tingling over my skin and my world went dark. In my ears, an infuriating buzz that was nauseating.

"Hey, where the hell did you come from?" I was violently shaken, "It doesn't matter, man the defences."

The armoured man pulled me to my feet and sent me on my way.

My mind was a mess.

What was going on?

"Giants!" One man bellowed, ducking below a club.

The man thrust forth his spear into the aggressor, merely provoking the giant and leaving the beast very much alive.

I, having pre-loaded before touching the tree, fired into the giant, staggering it.

Whilst not killing the poor thing, I had put it into shock enough for a golem knight of Venn to crush it with an oversized mace. The others were similarly dispatched.

The man that had pulled me up shot a strange glance.

"What kind of weapon is that?" He asked, trying to snatch it from me and I, through instinct, parried and drove the butt towards him.

That gun was a part of me and that sod didn't have a clue.

The armoured man back stepped and apologised. He shuffled back towards the dead giant and took a trophy.

Whilst he did that, I took in my surroundings to get a baring on things.

It was cardinal, but not as I had discovered. This should have been obvious, you know, with the giants and the fighting, and the fact that the fortress wasn't in it's dilapidated state.

I took the armoured man by the gorget, "Tell me what's going on, now?"

"Where have you been?" He struggled against my grip, "The giants have invaded."

And I was supposed to speak to them, as they were warring with Drangleic and I still hadn't a clue which one I was to seek.

Overhead a missile flew and smashed through the roof of a nearby building. The giants had war machines on their side.

A second and third missile crashed into the ground and wall behind us.

"Filthy creatures thinking they can use weapons like ours," The man craned his neck to look at the destruction.

A runner burst into the courtyard we presided in, red of face and out of breath.

The runner saluted the armoured man, "With captain Drummond's compliments sir, you are to make haste towards the eastern battlements. The captain has cornered the enemies lord, he needs more men to subdue it."

A grin split the armoured man's lips, "To me lads, to me. We go to slay to head beast."

He then clapped my arm, "Why do you just stand there man? You appeared from no-where, but you shall still share the glory. Come, come!"

That 'head beast' had to be the one; I couldn't let them kill it, nor could I appear to be aiding it if I wanted time.

Loading my piece, I set off at some pace and headed after the group of soldiers.

Everything was familiar, yet so alien and I had been correct, cardinal tower had been beautiful.

The eastern battlements came into view, the place were I had first met Vixen or should that be was to meet?

Several more missiles impacted the fortress, ripping chunks of stone out of the walls and killing a soldier in the process.

Briefly I got a peek down into the bay.

Warships had been lashed together to provide a stable platform for their trebuchets, others were docked and disembarking giants.

One of the great creatures was charging across the battlements with a club, defending it's lord on the far side.

It was a mad bloody scramble forward, dodging and ducking.

Half way across, a missile careened into a statue and decapitating it. The head rolled down the battlements to where it would remain in the future.

I ran ahead of the distracted soldiers intent of talking to the giant lord, before it could be captured and imprisoned.

It, understandably thinking I was it's enemy, brought down it's sword in a sweeping arc.

"I was sent to find you," I shouted up to the lord, "By one of your own. I'm not from these lands and have no quarrel with you."

The giant lord raised it's sword above it's head, "And how know you not the same, the children thieves? Human?"

It's voice was raspy and sounded forced.

" _I am not human_ ," I went _naked_ and called out.

The giant lord lowered it's sword, "They come to our lands, they steal our children, must find our children."

The Dranglein soldiers had stolen the giant's children. My blood boiled at the thought and I decided to turn my weapon on the men of Drangleic.

I would lend my aid this poor creature.

Some fled after the first shot and the shock gave me ample time to load another shot, hitting the armoured man. He was not killed and above the din of battle, cursed me as a traitor.

My third shot knocked another on his arse and then the remaining men were too close for another reload, it was time for bayonet work.

Cold, hard steel. I have it on good authority that they don't like it up 'em.

It was a hard fight and I was hacked several times, the fabled captain Drummond lodging his blade in my neck.

It hurt like hell, but I made Drummond hurt more.

All that time, the giant lord was holding his own against the other soldiers.

After coming to my senses and still with the sword in my neck, I repeatedly stabbed the fabled captain.

His life bled away in front of me.

With a yank, I freed myself of the sword and scanned the battlements. They were emptied of soldiers, live ones that is, apart from the armoured fellow.

I laid my arquebus on the floor and pulled free the dagger.

"Traitor, y-you side with the monsters that ravage our land," The man spat. I in return put out his left eye.

"You stole their children, you have no right to call them the monsters," I put out his other eyes and left him screaming.

I returned to the giant lord, "I'd suggest searching for you children in the keep of the king's brother, I believe that is where they're hidden. I must ask you however, if you are aware of what it's I must do to become the true monarch?"

"To stoke the fire, the stolen throne must be mounted. Sacrifice the flesh to the fires," It knelt down on one knee and with one finger touched my forehead, "I advise stay away, but thank you strange one and gift you kinshi-"

The lord of the giants was cut short by a ballista bolt, a long rope hanging from it like a tail. I turned to see a good few had been wheeled up onto the battlements.

I ran and grabbed my arquebus wanting to fire on the ballistae, but I was fixed by that strange tingling and buzzing in my ears.

This time I went down on all fours and threw up.

A hand took me by the arm and helped me up.

"John? John? Do you hear me, John?" Kat lifted my head, "You disappeared on us."

I actually committed a serious crime by doing that, by Erebayan law anyway, because time travel is a big no-no.

That wasn't what was on my mind.

I pushed Kat aside and raised my weapon at the Kellantine siblings, "You both fought in the war against the giants, yes? Do you know why they were fighting you?"

Neither answered.

"You stole their children and Aldia experimented on them," A sharp pain burst through my lip, I had split it from biting too hard, "Did you know?"

Vexa sighed, "Vendrick always seemed off when it came to the giants, guilty like. The last time I saw him before he hollowed, he was mumbling about it being the fault of the queen and his brother."

I hope the bastard felt guilty, and I had half a mind to go back to the crypts and desecrate his corpse, then go after Nashandra. I had my reason to kill her now.

But before that it was back to Majula, I had to speak to the cat. My gut was telling me that she had the remaining answers and perhaps the way to end all this shit.


	18. Feel Like Makin'

The journey back was difficult on me, three days without speaking to one of them.

Baby snatching is...it's abominable.

Those poor creatures, my heart ached for them.

I know if it were my own, my babies, my children, there would be nothing that could stand in my way. I would destroy everything and everyone to get them back.

Saying that however, Richter my eldest son, being a lot like his dad, is probably a bit too daft to get kidnapped.

How is that possible? You may say to yourself, but Richter would find a way.

But this with the giants, I couldn't believe it.

There is evil and there is _evil_ , and I have partaken in both, but this…

Nashandra; I'd flay her, crucify her and leave what's left to the birds and hope it appeased the souls of those poor creatures.

"Oh, Luca," I asked her one evening, "What do I do? Is it right for me to take up arms in their cause? Was this curse brought down on the land because of this act? Why I lost you?"

The first tear fell.

I made note to also find and murder Aldia, alongside the queen.

The second tear fell, no longer bloodied, but running clear. My own promise betrayed. It seemed I could not wait until my business was sorted, to cry for Lucatiel.

I brought the pendant to my lips and kissed it, "You're with me and you're not, and I miss you more and more. I said to you we weren't in love, but I can't cheat myself that feeling and now I don't know where I'm going without you."

It was so childish of me.

"Perhaps I shall visit Mirrah, once this awful business is concluded. To meet those that survive you," Tears fell freely now and I sobbed openly, "Damn you Lucatiel, why did you have to go?"

The whole gravity of the situation finally hit me and I decided to take a walk in the cool evening air. Outside, the watchman went about his own business, several other cavalrymen watching on as I skirted around the tents and into the trees.

Within I found a natural pond, half frozen over.

A small vole-like animal sniffed around it's edge and drank, before my stepping on a twig caused it to scurry back to it's home.

In my hand I took a pebble and loosed it into the pond.

It skipped over the semi-frozen ice.

The act delighted me, so I threw another, larger pebble.

It skipped twice and sank, my enjoyment sinking with it.

Tears fell even more freely, a cascade and they showed no sign of stopping.

At my side, the Reaper appeared and took my hand.

"John," Katie was soft in voice, "Your friend is looking for you. Vixen, I think you said."

I had bitten his and Vexa's head off after my little trip through time.

"I'm going to declare war the moment I get back, Kat," I wiped my eyes, "From today onwards, Drangleic and all her lands are to be declared imperial territory."

Katie dropped my hand and roughly grabbed my jaw, turning me to face her, "You're not in your right mind to be making that kind of decision!"

"And I think you forget yourself, princess," I hissed, "We are stuck here and the ruling monarch is likely to be outwardly hostile. Need I remind you, Katrina, that you and viscount von Strepp marched forty-thousand soldiers into these lands. What part of that would not be seen as a threat?"

I had still not forgiven them for that display of sheer idiocy.

"And as I do not wish to appease queen Nashandra, I shall declare war and depose her, and make of her an example," I would not suffer that child thief to live.

To me, there was no other way I could go about these things.

The Reaper let go and slumped her shoulders, my mind was already set and she could not change it.

"As your oldest friend John, I can't in good faith agree with your wanted course," Her eyes were filled with sadness, "Change has not been kind to you."

Katie took her leave of me and I follow a minute or two after.

The tears dried up, but left my eyes bloodshot and red. There was no hiding them, but I felt better.

Vixen I found sat by the main campfire, gazing at the dancing tongues and sparks that flew from the crackling wood.

"You wanted me, sir Kellantine?"

The brute stood, "Don't do that to me, sir. I'm concerned about you."

"Is that all, sir Kellantine? I'm tired and we have another long day tomorrow," I stubbornly replied and when I tried to pass him, the brute took hold of my shirt.

"Myself and my sister had nothing to do with what transpired in the land of the giants, but we did defend our home when they invaded and if you trust me, your friend, so little, I give you full permission to search my memories."

"Vix, brother. I trust you more than anyone else and I believe you, but that doesn't make me any less angry," It was a good few moments before I gathered myself, "Forgive me for acting like a fool, I'm just so tired of it all."

The day it all ended couldn't come soon enough.

Vixen released my shirt and placed one of his great hands upon my head, "She was right, you do have a lot of growing up to do."

Yes.

Yes I did.

"I would like you to apologise to my sister, sir," He continued, "You upset her with your comments and I don't want to see my sister upset. Come speak to me tomorrow and when this is all through, I think the two of us should mourn properly, perhaps in the company of Gavlan and his people?"

I could get behind that and it had been such a long time since I was last properly drunk.

He seemed placated with my answer and I made my way to Vexa.

The redhead was reclined on top of her furs, pretending to be asleep.

It was almost convincing, if not for the way her lips twitched.

"Vexa," I drew out calling her name, "I can see you're awake."

She screwed her eyes together tightly.

"Oh, come on Vex. I want to say I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of all those horrible things," I knelt down, "I didn't mean a single word and I definitely didn't want to upset you. You're my new champion after all."

The redhead huffed, "Words aren't going to cut it, mister. I asked for two requests, I now want ten and all of them to be carried out by you."

Vexa was fine, she was only milking this for all it was worth.

"Three requests and this," I pecked her forehead.

"Ten requests," She repeated.

"Four."

"Ten," She opened her eyes, "If you want to buy back my friendship and another peck wouldn't go amiss."

She pursed her lips in anticipation.

"You're inching ever closer to crossing that line again, miss Kellantine," I bent over and whispered, "Two requests as we agreed."

Vexa's eyes narrowed and she told me I wasn't listening to her, and to try again.

"Your majesty wouldn't be trying to make me cry, because my big brother won't stand for it," She mumbled childishly, "And I bet you would have given blondie ten requests."

Slap!

I would not allow her to use Lucatiel like that, no way.

Vexa gingerly touched her sore and reddened cheek, "That wasn't necessary, not for a joke. Get over her."

I looked away, "I'm trying my best and you're not helping."

The waterworks started up again.

This time I found myself pulled toward Vexa's bosom, where she worked some form of charm over me.

"Thanks, Vexa," I was still failing to look at her.

The redhead chuckled, "Don't think that was for free, mister. Ten requests, another peck...on the lips and next time, don't slap me so hard. I'm not that kind of girl."

She kept saying that and wasn't fooling me at all, nor was she going to give up on the ten requests.

With a reluctant sigh, I agreed to her demands.

Vexa giggled smugly, laid back and pulled me down with her, "I forgive you for bullying me and I'm sorry for, in fact, making you cry. Now, on to request number one."  
The way she bit her lower lip had the hair on the back my neck standing, for I was in the arms of a master deviant.

She grinned seductively, "When the time arises, I want you to wait on me hand and foot and call me, my lady."

A noblewoman she might be, but never had Vexa been a lady and never will be. She was enjoying herself too much at my expense.

"You have to do everything I say," She breathed into my ear, emphasising everything, "Or I'll tell my big brother you were nasty to me."

"Somehow, I feel that Vixen won't do a thing when I tell him you manipulated me emotionally, seeing as how I'm suffering from grief and all," I countered, "And you acting all childish is a really big turn off."

That shut her up for a moment.

"I think I'll be the one to lead this dance."

The lady had demanded another peck, which I obliged and another and another, trailing down to her neck.

She liked that, though not so much when I bit her throat.

It was not in the way a lover might play, but an honest to goodness bite to make her let go of me. Not overly hard mind you, I hadn't even broke the skin.

"Ow!" Vexa cried, her hand going to her throat and I jumped up.

"I promise to be gentle next time," I bowed, moving my arm in a sweeping gesture and added, "My lady."

I left her tent, laughing to myself like a madman.

Vixen was sat by the campfire still, waiting for the outcome.

The brute raised an eyebrow and enquired about the apology, and why he had heard his sister being slapped. Along with her crying out in pain, the moment before I emerged from her tent.

"All I'm saying, sir, is that if you hurt my sister in anyway, I'm going to tear you're arms and legs off," Vix said flatly.

Like myself towards my family, Vixen's slightly overprotective towards Vexa.

"Vix, brother. I meant every word of my apology to her," I held my hand to my heart, "Though I do feel I've made a mistake bowing down to her demands."

If I had a soul, surely Vexa Kellantine was the devil and I sold her it.

On a separate note, the whole concept of selling your soul to the devil is a complete and utter fallacy.

Lucifer, when he was alive, bless his soul, though the practice was barbaric.

You humans just had to go and believe in the angels, didn't you?

Anyway, as I was assuring the brute that I had in no way done anything to his sister that required a lynching, Vexa sneaked up on me and dragged me back to her tent.

"I'm sorry, brother," She called to Vixen, "I need to borrow him. His majesty needs to apologise more."

I wanted to say I didn't like where this was going, but I did.

That was a long night and not for the lack of sleep.

My own daft fault for getting the lass all worked up.

...and yes, I enjoyed every moment.

Sex aside however, I still felt that horrid sting of grief.

This was probably due to Vex not being a romantic partner; sugar coating the problem does not get rid of it.

It was, how shall I say this, awkward the following morning to say the least.

As you will no doubt know, dear reader, the waxed canvas tent is the pinnacle of sound proof design.

Can you imagine the look I got from Vixen, when I joined him and the old man the following morning?

"You apologised then, sir?" He asked awkwardly, swallowing.

Ornstein let go a bark like laugh, "If that's what you call apologising, I must do it more often."

"Can you still get it up?" I joked, "You being of advanced age."

The old man cuffed me round the back of the head, for my blatant disrespect to the elderly.

"Put lady Gwynervere before me and I'd have no problems," He made a gesture outlining the princess of sunlight's figure. I thought that it was a little over the top, but if you had ever seen Gwynervere, you'd know he wasn't exaggerating.

More on her later though.

Vixen coughed, "Why did you do it, sir? Take my sister's vir...virg..."

The brute couldn't bring himself to say the word.

I was finding it difficult to believe, that Vixen believed that Vexa was still 'pure', in a manner of speaking.

Looking to Ornstein, I found the man wanting to laugh, but restraining himself. I myself was in a similar position.

"Vix, brother," I tried to be as gentle as possible in dropping this bombshell, "Vexa is a big girl and well, erm...many a man has ventured into that enchanted cave."

"Sir!" The brute exclaimed.

"That might be true, but I would take it that as idle gossip," Vexa's long arms snaked their way around my middle, resting her chin on my shoulder and her cheek was against mine, "And you mister, nine requests left. Now, who has food?"

I had a bit hardtack and held it up to her.

She didn't take it for herself, instead made me hold it whist she nibbled around the weevils. That was a waste I thought, the weevil is obviously where the flavour and protein are.

I was given the scraps.

With a content chuckle the redhead sat down, practically on top of me.

Within the hour we were all on our way and throughout the last leg of our journey, I receive many a sidelong grin from the cavalrymen.

It was very early in the morning as were crawled into Majula, not a soul stirred.

The 'lords' slept and we Erebayans cleaned our equipment until the sun came up.

Shalquoir made herself known, as I was scrubbing down my pikeman's pot and hopped up onto my lap.

"You lied to me," The ball of fluff grumbled, "I was promised a duck and I have yet to receive one."

I told the kitty, the moment I had some free time I'd go and blow some waterfowl out of the sky.

She arched her back and stretched out, purring happily.

"Did you already know about the giants?"

"Of course," She replied, "And did you receive that thing's blessing? I assume you did and I assume you want to know what happens next?"

Do bears shit in the woods?

"Back to Drangleic castle, below it in fact. With the kinship of the giants, you and you alone will be able to access the throne of want, and sacrifice yourself to the flames. Kindle the fires like the sunlight king and fight back the dark."

Therein lay the problem, a being with a soul had to die.

Best course of action I could think of would be to secure this throne and then work out what to do, Nashandra be damned.

I was going to kill her anyway, so she was a non-asset.

The cat went to sleep before I could ask her any more questions, thus I was left with time to think on what I was actually going to do.

My favourite fire keeper appeared, looking as happy as ever and produced two mugs of the foreign drink I had tried on my last stay in Majula.

"Do you know what I'm going to ask you?"

"Yes," I swirled the liquid in the mug, "To both questions and of all the people to have distract me, why did you have to choose the nymphomaniac? Not that I should complain."

Shanalotte clicked her tongue.

"I thought a woman's touch might help you. Did she help?" Her eyes held a mischievous glint.

"She left me with bruised bloody hips, that's what. It may have escaped your notice, but the nympho knight is a lot bigger than me and a damned side heavier."

I watched Shanalotte's eyes wander up behind me and then felt the sharp pain of a redhead's teeth sinking into the back of my neck.

With a satisfied hum, Vexa let go and plonked herself down heavily, after removing the cat, on my knee.

I continued to talk to the herald, "Can you see I'm suffering,

Vexa draped her arm over my shoulders and breathed into my ear, "Oh, you will be. That nice, big manor over there is empty and no-one will hear us...hear you. Request number two."

There are depths of depravity known only to Vexa Kellantine no other being, real or mythical, has even imagined.

I'm sure there were a group movie monsters that Vex would fit in well with.

Don't quite remember the name of that movie or the monsters, as with the majority of movies I watch, I tend to sleep through them. The only movies I've not slept through are _This is Spinal Tap_ and _M*A*S*H;_ some pointless facts about me you never needed to know.

"I could always shoot you, Vexa my love," My hand dipped into my supply bag and retrieved a cigar, "And dump your body in the sea. Then I don't have to go through with your requests."

A sly look flashed on the redhead's face, "That wouldn't get you out of it, mister. I'd come back as a vengeful ghost and haunt you."  
Knowing Vex, she would an' all.

The fag in my fingers lit up nicely and carried a pleasant flavour; the smoke billowed out of my mouth in a great plume.

It was so much handier with these roll-ups, over having to stuff shredded leaf into a tube.

From the corner of my eyes I saw a party of my own kind standing in the main gateway to Majula, Kat was already making her way over.

"Shift you arse," I tried to move the redhead, "I've got work to do. Me, your brother and the old man have a lot of planning ahead."

The redhead whined, "But my request!"

"Later," I was firm, "It's not the time to play now. You can come along though, I might need my champion to fight for me again."

The looking-glass knight stood and held out her hand.

"I'm taking you had no problems with my lot then?" I asked the herald as Vexa pulled my up.

Shanalotte sipped at her drink before she answered, "No, but the one calling himself a viscount was asking about you. He speaks the language too, didn't you know?"

von Strepp had been enquiring as to where his money had went and to my conduct during my time in Drangleic.

It didn't worry me at all.

I waved my goodbye to the herald and joined the other group, and in turn were joined by the cavalrymen and 'lords'.

The state of the camp after only 10 days was an impressive sight to behold; they had turned a flat-ish piece of land, into a beautiful earthen work bastion fortress, something for those that like creative geometric shapes.

Amazing what you can get done when you have 31,000 idle labourers sat about doing nothing.

The viscount was stood inside the main entrance, "You finished stropping yet?"

"Depends on whether or not you've found a way out of here and Kat's got your money."

The Reaper lobbed the small purse over and von Strepp snatched it from the air.

He stepped up to me and whispered, "If you weren't my emperor, I'd have had you flogged and then hanged. Don't you fucking steal from me again, Johan."

I wouldn't, at least for a week.

The viscount grunted, "Anyway, someone turned up to see you about five minutes ago. Claim they know you."

Was it Gavlan?

I hoped it was Gavlan and his barrels of booze.

My hopes were dashed the moment I passed into the main tent.

"Why, you have been very naughty, _my_ brave sir," Nashandra's cold glare fixed me to the spot, "Didn't I ask you to come back to me, once you had found what I asked for? But I find you with an army. You do know how to upset me."

Her crystal blues turned weepy, as a singular crocodile tear rolled down her cheek.

"To think," She continued her dramatic monologue, "I chose you to be the true monarch and you thank me by wanting to start a war."

One of her plate-bound muscle growled and von Strepp tried to calm things.

His command of the language wasn't as good as mine, but Marius got his message across.

"I would like to reassure her majesty, that his majesty von Bayer has in no way any intent to declare war. Perhaps, whilst we are stuck here, we could negotiate a treaty between yourself and the empire of Erebay?"

This was when I interjected, "Now, you see Marius, I do fully intend to declare war. I want Drangleic and queen Nashandra's head on a pike."

I may in this statement have caused a slight uproar.

von Strepp choked, "His majesty does not mean that. He is tired from his journey and does not know what he is speaking of."

I bloody well did mean it.

"I, his imperial majesty Johannes-Friedrich von Bayer, do hereby declare war on Drangleic and against it's queen, Nashandra," I demanded her immediate restraint.

No one moved.

To my annoyance, von Strepp had already promised the queen safety within the confines of the camp.

The queen of Drangleic looked on with weepy eyes.

"I am only here because that man, your emperor, has something of mine," She sniffed and dried the tears, "If you would hand him over to me, then I think I could forget his aggression towards me and then we can negotiate."

For a second I thought that von Strepp might comply, as I saw the gears turning and him weighing up the options.

Giving me over wouldn't do, and both myself and Nashandra knew I couldn't hand over the kinship.

We were at a stalemate.

Nashandra smoothed out her dress and pushed herself up from the stool, "If you won't simply hand him over, we will have to take him by force. There shall be no negotiations about that."

Seeing as my people had spent 268 years looking for me, they weren't letting me go. von Strepp made that very clear and Nashandra's emotional facade fell.

"For someone so set against conflict, you have done nothing to prevent it," The platinum blonde raised her voice, "Even you...gods will suffer for defying me."

"And I'll make you suffer for what you did to the giants," I blocked her path, staring up at her," When I get my hands on you proper, I'll make it last. That's my promise to you. The true monarch, what shit. All you wanted was the key in the hands of someone you could control."

The queen went to slap me; I was correct.

Without a further word the two plate-bound muscle clanked off out the tent, but she stopped.

"If any of you here have any shred of intelligence, you will bring him to me," Nashandra seethed and flung aside the tent flaps, leaving the rest of us.

von Strepp took the first moment of her absence to grab me by the collar and scream in my face, but I shook him off, telling him Nashandra deserved what was coming to her.

"Vix, brother," I addressed the brute, "My thunder-lance, if you would be so kind."

He handed over my weapon.

"What are going to do with that?" The viscount tried to stop me and my small entourage from leaving.

With a cruel grin I said, "You said she was safe within the confines of the camp."

There was little else I needed to say, but get a shift on and commit regicide a third time.

On the far side I found her.

Behind a thicket of holly, I sat and waited.

My view of the queen was perfect and should have led to a clean shot into her back.

It was half decent shot too, slowly squeezed off and impacted the small of her back, at the top of her left buttock.

All things considered, it should have been a kill and that is what I believed when the dragon riders ran off with her unconscious body.

I re-entered the camp the fury of von Strepp, but I wasn't listening to his complaints; my 'lords' were the ones I needed to talk too.

"How quickly can she feasibly mobilise an army?"

Vexa shrugged, "She might have already called to her vassals. If not, a few weeks."

Vixen said very much the same.

We had to prepare for the outcome regardless.

I failed to sway the remaining noblemen, but got the regulars and majority of cavalry. All I needed to do was inform them of the slight predicament they were in and they could no longer go home, and who had led them to this exile.

Together we would make this our home, I told them and they were mine.

Vixen I had sent back to Majula.

There was a horrid feeling in my gut that Nashandra, if she was alive, would strike there first. Any and all undead were to be welcomed and 'protected' within the camp.

I also had the man collect anything he could from the manor, specifically the maps.

The brute did as asked, though I was rather dismayed to find that the cartographer Cale had hollowed.

Now, those undead taking shelter within the camp could also be conscripted. They could be put out in front, so we could gauge the strength of the enemy.

It was cruel, but they were already dead and there may have been a slight promise of monetary compensation.

Vix can be a crafty bastard when he wants to be and neither of us intended to keep that promise.

I watched them all file in, Shanalotte standing close by with Shalquoir on her shoulder.

Lenigrast and his daughter, Maughlin and even the crone I'd bumped into a year earlier all passed into the camp.

The rest came in as if refugees from a foreign war-torn land.

One caught my eye.

He was wrapped in rough-spun wool, a hood pulled down over his eyes.

I singled him out of the group and intercepted him from behind.

Knocking him to the ground I discovered the young knight, as I had though him to be.

"Vixen!" I shouted to the brute, who was ushering the undead inside the earthen work fortress, "This is the fucker that murdered Luca."

I punctuated the sentence with a fist to the face, that was enough to put the young knight out and so, I rifled through his possessions, of which there was a bit.

His armour and weapons, and the crown of Shulva.

The brute crouch next to the blacked out knight, "Him? What do you want don't to him, sir?"

"Anything you want, brother. Just don't kill him."

The brute nodded solemnly, handed the bundle of maps to me and dragged the young knight towards an undisclosed location.

I ordered Shanalotte to keep the other undead calm.

"I'll tell them he were a blood cultist," She pulled me to one side, "But you don't go doing anything silly. I can see it in your eyes...from what the pursuer knight told me, you need to go sit somewhere and calm yourself down."

Yes, perhaps.

I was losing myself in this anger.

I tracked down the old man and gave him the maps. I wanted him and von Strepp to go through them, see if there was any practicable land on which we could feasibly fight a pitched battle. If I killed her and they haven't scattered, they'd send someone and if she was still alive, she'd send someone. I wanted to be in control regardless of the outcome.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Ornstein asked, rolling out one of the maps.

"Of course I don't," I handed him a cigar, "That's what I've got you lot for. I'll send Vixen and Vexa to help."

The old man shook his head, "I've been here long enough to know the land. I'll find you something, your highness."

There was something unsettling about him using my honorific.

"That hurt to say didn't it? Stick to calling me creature and neither of us will suffer."

"Yes," He grunted, "Thank Gwyn."

I left him, in search of somewhere quiet.

That I found in an outer gun pit, minus the cannon's crew, whom I had told to bugger off.

Within two minutes I was bored and agitated and thus I turned to my one solace, the violin Gavlan had gifted me.

Lenigrast had returned it and the crown of the iron king back to me.

It was a sad piece I decided on, with a bitter-sweet undertone and a somewhat happy finale, nothing like the _lament_.

The last time I'd played it had been in the kingdom of the Gyrm. What had that been, about two month or getting close, or was it more?

I played until I'd split all the fingers on my left hand and split them again.

I had my back up against a fascine, facing towards the camp with my eyes closed and playing whatever came to mind.

"I see you still haven't learned to play that thing properly, old boy" A strangely accented voice broke me from my trance.

"Don?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, "Don Kyris? In the name of all that's good, what are you doing here and dressed up like that for? You're a miner, not a soldier."

The man sucked his teeth, "I'm here at her majesties pleasure."

I had told once and I had told him a thousand times, someone was going to catch him sooner or later.

Met Don years and years before Drangleic in Andron. Funny thing is I actually worked the pits, which goes against the image of the work-shy noble put against me and of which I played along with.

Is it a bad thing that I preferred coal mining to running an empire?

Well, the empress of the Reapers caught wind of it and stopped me, 'emperors don't work in mines' she would lecture me; not that it stopped me sneaking out and getting bladdered with them.

Don's the one who taught me how to half-inch.

And on the subject of his accent not sounding Erebayan, I still haven't entirely nailed down what it is. All I can say for sure is west country/farmer.

"Magistrate gave me two choices, gaol or the army," He sat opposite me, "You'll never guess which one I chose."

I cocked my head in mock thought, "Erm, you're stuck here, so I'm going to say gaol. What'd you steal anyway?"

"Ingreet Morgann," He answered, raising an eyebrow and waggled his fingers, indicating to the ring.

"As in the daughter of Baron Maximilian Morgann?"

Don inclined his head in a manner that could be taken as a nod, "Along with a few other things, and it seems like you've done well for yourself."

I wouldn't say that, really.

My attention turned to his weapon.

"Where's the match go?" I asked, taking it and turning it over in my hands.

"A match? It doesn't use a match, old boy," Don took it back and showed off this newfangled wheellock longarm.

I was fascinated by this overly complicated piece of ornate gun.

Not a gun I would use personally. They fire far too slow and when I say complicated, I mean too complicated for the common soldier to keep in working order.

You can't easily fix them either, you need a watch maker for that.

No, give me something simple. Something I can use that's reliable, which wheellocks aren't.

The only benefit was it could be carried cocked and loaded, perfect for cavalry and those on watch duty.

Speaking of the latter, a sergeant jumped down into the pit.

"Ah, the malingerer" The sergeant pointed to Don.

Don looked around the gun pit, hand above his eyes like he was searching for someone in the distance.

"I can't see any malingerers here. You see anything, Johan?" He grinned and was berated for being so openly friendly with me.

I grinned back, "Yes, I see you, you skiving nark. Go do your job."

Don raised his middle finger in salute and was forced back onto patrol.

I went back to playing with my violin for a bit and 'talked' a little to Luca, then left the pit, lifting a decanter of dark rum from a rather lavish tent on my way. It was probably meant for the nobles when they dined and I don't think one decanter would go amiss.

I sought out Vexa, who sat alongside her brother and stuffing her face.

"Fancy sharing this with me?"

"Yes, sir," Vix answered, "I've worked up quite the thirst doing over that murderer."

"Sorry, brother," I delivered the disappointing news, "Yours isn't the company I'm looking for. What do you say Vex, want a drink?"

The redhead looked up mid-chew, "Yesh, I'da luf tu."

I asked her if she would like to try that again? You know, without spraying food all over me.

With an audible gulp, she swallowed down her food and giggled behind her hand.

She and I retired to somewhere private i.e. my new quarters, the largest and best furnished of the tents brought by my people.

After telling the two guards to be elsewhere, Me and Vexa began.

We went a little wild; I think, if I remember correctly, at one point I was drinking rum out of her navel.

It was good rum.

Eventually a lull came and we relaxed.

Both of us were on the floor on top of some blankets and furs, she stretched out and eating again, and I was reclined with my head resting on her tummy.

Having given it some good thought, time with Vexa had helped.

"Can you give me another drink?" The redhead asked sweetly, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, "Pretty please!"

Seeing as she asked so nicely, I couldn't help but comply.

I grabbed the decanter and took a mouthful, then crawled towards her head and pressed my lips against hers.

It wasn't the most perfect of seals, but she didn't complain when I 'cleaned' up the spillage.

"Tell me Vex, what are you planning to do when this is all finished?" I asked and started to nibble on her collar bone.

"Oh, please don't do that," She wriggled about, "I'm supposed to make you suffer, not the other way round. You're supposed to fulfil my requests."

"Vexa," I fixed her with a stare, eyes half lidded, "Bugger your requests. So, are you going to answer my question?"

"Vixen's dead set on following you," Her breathing got heavier, as I worked my way up her neck, "So I think I'll follow you too."

I stopped at her earlobe, also giving it a nibble.

"No," Vexa's breath hitched, "Stop teasing."

Double standards at it's finest.

It's fine when she teases people, but not when it happens to her.

But you know, she had helped me somewhat get over my grief and well, I was in the mood again. I believe the poet John Donne wrote it best, as I 'sucked on country pleasures' all evening long.

I suppose this is the point when Vexa truly became my mistress and I her paramour.

For the remainder of that night, we cuddled on the bed.

I had to thank her again for helping me so, to which she just giggled.

Then wiith her index finger, Vexa traced the ugly scar running down my face.

"How'd this happen?"

"The sinner in the Bastille," I rocked onto my side, "Somewhere I would rather not go back to."

Not without being dragged kicking and screaming.

I laid my head in the crook of her neck and allowed the rhythmic beat of her heart to pull me into the land of sleep.

* * *

 **John Donne poem referenced was _The Good Morrow_.**


	19. War

The wonder that a good nights sleep can never be understated.

I awoke to soft beams of light creeping through the canvas walls, birds chirping, Vexa's snoring cutting above all else.

"John?" Princess Reyes called from outside, "Are you decent in there?"

"No, but you can come in anyway, Kat. No need to be embarrassed," I slipped out of the blankets and found my breeches.

Then I discovered the decanter still had a few dregs of rum left inside, as Katie came inside and grimaced, "I don't think I want to know what happened."

It then came to my attention that there were other empty decanters scattered around the tent.

Behind me, Vexa groaned and politely asked us to shut the hell up.

She pried open a puffy, bloodshot eye and cursed the light.

Alcohol is such an evil thing, so I destroyed what was left of it, in one swig.

"It's not even midday and you're drinking."

"Me? No, I was only disposing this very dangerous liquid," I hooked a thumb at the drowsy redhead, "You see what it's done to poor Vexa."

She groaned louder, told me to get lost and buried herself beneath the blankets and furs.

Myself and the princess exited the tent, best to leave the redhead to work off the hangover she'd amassed.

The old man wanted me and had communicated that to Katie, via a point at my tent, a beckon gesture and a snapping of his fingers.

Katie folded her arms, "He's rude, even without using words."

That was just Ornstein being Ornstein.

"The only words he does speak are swears and I wonder who taught him those?" She asked rhetorically.

I shrugged, "Everyone knows the best place to start with a foreign language is how to tell someone to fuck off. That's basic stuff, Kitty-Kat. You're supposed to be the smart one, you should know this."

Katie looked at me with blank expression and pushed me towards the 'command' tent.

"And stop calling me Kitty-Kat!" She stamped her foot, "It's not cute. It's not funny. It's annoying!"

I continued walking, "Whatever you say, Kitty-Kat."

I then found myself tumbling through the tent flap; Katie kicked me, which I shall tell, I did not deserve.

Ornstein, hunched over a table, spared my a brief glance and motioned for me to join him.

The old man blew air out his lips and exclaimed, "Gwyn protect, you smell like an ale house. Amongst other things."

"Me and Vexa may have gone overboard."

"I know," Ornstein grunted, "I don't think there's a single person in the camp that didn't hear what went on. Anyway, when you were ploughing a certain field, I found you one."

He stabbed at the map with his finger to a point roughly 3 miles south-west of where my lot had set up.

To the left of the land was peat bog, but the right was wide open.

I consulted with von Strepp, who was rather wanting to avoid conflict, agreed that if...when Nashandra's army came, the land was suitable for manoeuvring _tercio_ _s_ or whatever you would like to call them.

Straight away, the viscount sent out men to check the land, along with some engineers/sappers.

Other light cavalrymen were dispatched to scout for any sign of hostile forces.

It all seemed so frightfully exciting, but then it all ground to a glacial crawl and boredom set in.

For weeks nothing happened, apart from the odd hollow that shambled into camp one afternoon and even it was little more than bone.

I kept myself busy, learning how to use my sidesword and sneaking in with the arquebusiers to train.

I had thought myself proficient with the arquebus; not the case when stood with trained imperial arquebusiers.

The commanding captain and his sergeants discovered me with little trouble.

"Which one of you bastards fired out of turn?" The sergeant seethed, walking down the line and checking each man's musket, before reaching my arquebus.

I had though hiding within the block of infantry would blend me in sufficiently, but sergeants have 6th, 7th and 8th senses, and like a parent know everything their children are doing.

He wrenched my arquebus down and shoved the flat of his hand into my chest, "Are you trying to kill the man in front of you?"

It wasn't my intention, but when he had order fire, I had thought that meant everyone.

The sergeant raised my brim of my helmet up, to see my face properly.

"Yo-your majesty," The man stammered, "Y-you fired that shot."

He looked to his captain for help.

The captain dismounted his horse, "Your majesty should not be here. It is a dangerous business and not one that your majesty should be involved with."

"And why not? I can use a..." I tried to remember the word Kat had used, "...gun like any other man. And it would please me, lord Bannier, if you didn't kiss my arse and treat me like a child about to put his hand into the fire."

Bannier bowed, "Your majesty, but I cannot permit you to stand in the ranks with common men."

I opened my mouth and spied von Strepp watching me.

"Very well, lord Bannier."

I took my leave of him and his men, wandering in von Strepp's direction.

The viscount took hold of my arm and dragged me between two tents.

"You can't do that," He snarled in a hushed voice, "Your the emperor, not a damn commoner. I don't care if you've had to fend for yourself here, act like you're supposed to."

von Strepp returned me to my tent forthwith. Vexa was already inside, cleaning and oiling her sword and armour.

Marius stood in the entrance and suggested I stay, hoping I wouldn't cause him any more trouble.

When he left, I made several vague threats towards him and fell backwards onto the bed.

"I thought it would be great when my people came to get me," I said absently, "But all I've heard is, your majesty can't do this, your majesty can't do that. If his majesty wants to stand in line and play soldiers with the rest of them, I should be bloody well allowed."

Vexa hummed, "Think about it like this. You told me they had spent the best part of two-hundred and sixty-eight years looking for you, how is it going to look if you get back with a missing arm or leg?"

That was unlikely to happen.

"I heal very quickly. If I lost an arm, it would grow back like that," I snapped my fingers.

"You're also royalty, mister," She placed her oiling rag down by her side, "Simply put, when you play soldier you sit and look pretty on a horse."

I chewed on my lip until it bled, was it so wrong for me to want to fight with them. I had caused this mess, so why should I allow other to clean it up for me?

The other nobility fought, which to me meant I could too.

The redhead rapt her knuckles against my head softly, "What good would you be anyway? They're trained men and you're not. Like it or not, they can't have you in their ranks getting in the way. On a separate note, did blondie ever call you an idiot?"

"Luca called me a lot of things and I do seem to recall that being one of them," I muttered, "But what's that got to do with anything?"

Vexa stood, putting her weapon and armour in the corner, "Because you are one."

She came back to the bed and asked if I would give her a massage, her shoulder and back were stiff from sparring with her brother.

She pulled off her shirt and laid face down, waiting for me to start.

"That feels great," She moaned, "Magic fingers indeed. They say that in the far south, they insert needles into certain places on the bodies. It's mad, who would want to stab themselves?"

"I don't know. Why don't we find out if it works?" I pressed one of my fingernails into her skin, leaving a red welt.

Vexa swatted behind her and I continued.

I took in every part of her body.

"Beautiful," I whispered.

"What is?"

"Every bit of you," I finished her massage and let her sit up.

Vexa rolled her shoulders out, "Flattery will get you no-where, mister."

"It wasn't flattery," I handed over her shirt, "It was an observation."

She laugh brusquely and looped her arm around me, "I don't think I've had a single man say my scars and stretch marks are beautiful."  
"Perhaps," I looked up at her.

"Though you didn't need to tell me," Vexa winked, "I already know I'm beautiful."

Ah, she was going with the narcissist route and I decided to knock her down a peg or two, launching a full out assault on her sides.

The redhead was soon in tears from the merciless tickling.

I was saved from her retaliation by Don clearing his throat.

"Donald," I panted, "I've told you. If you're going to skive, do it elsewhere."

In his hand was a booklet, which he threw over.

"Lord Bannier says to read it and learn everything to the letter," Don spoke flatly, "I'll help if you want, old boy. Lord Bannier also says don't let von Strepp know. He's already in enough trouble for your little stunt."

Don left us before his sergeant could catch him and I started to study the booklet.

" _The militarie arte of pyke and fhott_ ," I read aloud and scanned the pages, "Looks like I'm getting the chance to play soldier after all"

Vexa looked at the booklet from over my shoulder, then reclined with her hands behind her head.

"Read something from it for me."

 _Give fire. Lift up yo' right elbow and place the but-end of yo' mufket within yo'_ _f_ _houlder near yo' breast,_ _the fmall end appearing a little above your fhoulder._ _f_ _tanding w_ _th_ _yo' left leg foremoft and the knee bent_ _and the right leg ftanding ftiff._

Nothing exciting, just drill instructions.

"Well, that's boring," Vexa forced a yawn, "Where's the part where the handsome knight saves the damsel?"

I knew she was joking, but I replied regardless.

"In a military manual?" I deadpanned, "At least it's got pretty pictures for you to look at. I know you struggle with big words."

The redhead plucked the booklet from my grip, dropping it on the floor.

"I don't need big words or fancy books."

"Whatever you say."

"Well, I say I want some food and you won't find that in your manual."

If the lady wanted food, she wouldn't give up until she got it, but I wasn't in the mood to be her servant.

"Get off your lazy bum then," I relaunched my attack that had been interrupted by Don and again had her on the verge of tears.

I eventually got her out of the tent and on the hunt for food, using my momentary freedom from the redhead to read the booklet properly.

It was more than just drills for infantry, but cavalry, the uses of combined arms and general tactics. There was a lot for such a small booklet and not the easiest to take in.

Reading the booklet alone however was not going to help me in the long run, so in secrecy I trained under lord Bannier's sergeants.

It was also around this time that I was barred from my own bed by Vexa, who hated the smell of the powder I was caked in.

Black powder does stink though and more than the fire powder native to Drangleic, which lacked the sulphur.

And so started the traipsing into Majula everyday after drills.

My people had sort of occupied the town and had secured it for the undead; von Strepp had even put men in Heide.

All out bases were covered, to use an Americanism.

This became clear on the eighth week; I was woken in the middle of the night and told of an encroaching group.

It was only a small group, but their standards bore the sigil of Nashandra.

The watchmen on the outer walls fired warning shots, halting the group and were surrounded by harquebusiers.

"We pose no threat," The corpulent tone of chancellor Spenner cut through the dark, "Merely messengers."

"Before you deliver your message. Is she alive?" I shouted from the safety of the earthen battlements.

Spenner searched from me amongst those around them.

"Her majesty lives and very upset with your conduct. Our queen was willing to give you her heart and in return you tried to assassinate her," He sounded most upset and wasn't convincing me, "Though, her majesty is kind and if you were to come with us, she is willing to forgive you and spare your countrymen."

I conferred with von Strepp, and he and I relayed said message to the defenders, who in a singular voice replied with laughter.

"Was there something I said your countrymen find so amusing?"

"They find it amusing chancellor, because of how blatant a lie it was. I want your queen dead and they all know it. They also know your queen is a lying whore," I spat, "Tell Nashandra that if she wants me, she will pay in blood."

Spenner then spewed the 'you're making a mistake' spiel, when it was in fact he who had made a mistake in underestimating us.

A harquebusier galloped from within the camp, dismounted and ran to the viscount.

Whilst Spenner and his entourage had been stood before us, a second group had tried to open the second gate into the camp.

They had been stopped thankfully and quietly.

von Strepp looked to lord Bannier, who nodded.

The harquebusiers on the outside pulled back inside the fortified walls.

"Let's see if you've learned anything. Impress me enough and I might let you continue," Marius whispered in my ear, and then to the others, "These men are enemies. Lord Bannier, if you would be so kind."

I already had my weapon charged; I had loaded the moment I'd been told someone was approaching.

"Cock your match and test it."

Like many times before, I attached the match to the serpentine and made sure it would hit the pan.

"Guard your pan and test the coal."

The pan cover was definitely closed when I blew on the match tip.

"Open your pan and present."

On that order, every man with an arquebus presented his weapon.

Before Spenner could catch on we were given our next order.

"Give fire."

Around 170 muskets belched forth fire, smoke and lead.

I had not been paying attention to the harquebusiers, over half of whom had dismounted and hidden within the trees, waiting for the order to loose their wheellocks.

The noise was indescribable at the time, thunderous at first, followed by a gentle silence and then cries of the wounded.

I was disgusted and I still hadn't seen this on full scale. There were 2 arquebusiers for every pikeman, which equals a lot of guns and I'm not including the guns used by the harquebusiers.

I hadn't even seen what the multitude of cannon my people had brought could do.

The harquebusiers in the trees flooded out and checked over the crying wounded, finishing them off with their swords.

"Your majesty, what would your next orders be?" von Strepp asked.

"Uncock match, clear any burning embers from the pan and recharge the piece," I spoke confidently.

"Uncock match, return match, shoulder arm and countermarch," Bannier shook his head and looked to von Strepp, "At least his majesty has remembered part of the manual."

The cries ended.

"It's against my better judgement but if your majesty wishes, you may continue to drill alongside lord Bannier's men," He pulled me in close, "Don't do anything to make me regret this decision, Johan."

Marius had known from the start, wasn't that a surprise.

"I think I have a use for those bodies, viscount," The gears started turning in my head, "A little message for Nashandra. I'll need some wood, some nails, tools and men to carry it all."

He knew what my idea was already, "Where are you taking them?"

"It's about a days travel from here. Somewhere Nashandra's people will be watching," I told him.

Marius sighed, "I shouldn't let you out of my sight. You'll have an escort, who I'll pick and you do everything their commander says, your majesty."

"Understood. I'll take along my three 'lords' as aid too, I promise I won't cause you trouble. Oh and Marius, you really need to keep an eye on your purse," I held the small leather bag up, "Because I keep finding it."

The viscount tutted and took the purse back, "I though you promised to stop doing that."

"Got to keep my skills sharpened somehow," I unhooked the second from my belt, "You might as well give that back to Kat, or put it into her tent before she notices."  
With a defeated sigh also took princess Reyes' purse, I could see Don smirking behind him and Bannier.

When the viscount and the lord had left us, he swanned over, "The aim of the game, old boy, is to keep what you've taken, not give it back."

"I was only messing with von Strepp."

"And with the princess?"

"I may now regret taking the opportunity," I looked around to make sure she wasn't in the vicinity, "Kitty-Kat will probably murder me."

Don placed his hand over his face and watched me through his fingers, "To think I taught you everything I knew. You don't say a word and deny any allegations, and definitely don't admit to it!"

I could see the veins in his head pop out as he lectured me, but the thing is Don had denied everything before the magistrate and had gotten himself penal service.

In hindsight, Don Kyris is not the one I should have been taking advice from, unless it has something to do with long ranged shooting, because Don's a prodigy when it comes to sniping. The bastard could knock the bollocks off a fly at 3 miles and leave it in the air.

Anyway, as I had predicted, Katie kicked several shades of shit out of me and insisted on shadowing me from then onwards. 130 billion years on and she still hasn't stopped, in fact she's in the room with me as I write, grinning like a lunatic and I'm dreading the reason why.

The next day, with all the stuff I'd requested on a carriage, we head off to the rotunda and stopping just beyond it.

The stench permeating from the corpses was getting unbearable, so I worked quickly when the crucifixes were erected.

I didn't do this to every corpse, only a select few and especially Spenner; I would have preferred to have flayed them living, but you work with what you get.

A sign was placed around one of the corpse's neck and I stood back to admire the gruesome work. Barbaric?

Maybe, but psychological warfare is a viable tactic.

Vix took one look and vomited, though I'm not sure if it was the sight or the smell.

Either way, I think it had the desired effect.

"You couldn't just be normal and put their heads on spikes," Vexa said, placing a hammer back onto the carriage.

We needed to draw out her army, because there was no way we could take the castle and this seemed the best way to get them to notice.

Someone was watching us, we all could tell.

"It's done anyway. We can go home and do something, if you want?"

Vexa clicked her tongue and thought for a moment, "You can help me train, I want someone new to spar with. I know how Vixen fights inside and out, I need a change, but you can't used your thunder lance."

That could be arranged.

The redhead smiled happily to herself on the way back, which in itself was uneventful, with one exception.

When I saw it, I was off.

There was no hesitation when I put a shot into the motionless Heide knight.

I stripped it's armour and loaded it on the carriage, then rejoined the redhead.

Ornstein rolled his eyes.

"I have the armour now, so no more fuss from me," I told him.

Vexa looked from me to Vix in confusion.

"He's been after the armour of Heide for awhile," The brute leant over, then spoke to me, "I'm sure Lenigrast would be willing to repair or create a new set for you, sir."

I paid through the fucking teeth, but I had a full set of Heide armour and of course I had it on, strutting about.

It amazing how well armour feels when it's tailored to you, it really is.

Helping Vexa train also started about a week and a half after I had made the promise, obviously before I had the Heide armour completed, that shit takes time.

As in love, in war she does not play fair.

You have no idea of how underhanded and dirty a fighter she is.

I thought I had seen everything when she had been fighting Morales.

"Come on, mister," She goaded, "I'm running rings around you. Hit me!"

There was an opening I could see and thrust with my weapon towards the gap. It was obvious and Vexa slammed her shield into me and thus ended the fight.

The cold, hard ground caught me and I lay there with my eyes closed, unmoving.

The redhead stood over me, "Damn it, I think I broke him."

"I'm fine, just deliberating whether or not this bout was a good thing," I groaned, "I'm leaning heavily towards no."

"You what?"

I tried to guess her expression behind the emotionless helm.

"Vexa my love, I'm _thinking_ if agreeing to spar with you was a clever idea," I sat up and gingerly pressed my index finger against one of my teeth. It wobbled and sent a spike of pain through my mouth.

With a helping hand I was back on my feet again, looking up at Vexa.

"You're not allowed to think, mister. It's not healthy."

"Just because between you and your brother, Vixen got all the brains, does not mean thinking is unhealthy for someone like myself," I folded my arms.

"You're only upset because I've kicked your arse ten times in a row."

Not entirely.

Vexa removed her helmet and arming cap, shaking out her hair. She had cut it short again, it really opened her face.

"I beat you at least once," I tapped her breastplate, "I bruised your boob."

She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, "That was months ago, we weren't sparring, you thought I was an enemy. Plus, the bruise is gone, you can't prove a thing."

"Then what about the very large dent?"

She thought about it for a second, "A low flying, blind pigeon flew into me...really hard."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and failed to suppress a laugh, "You're so full of shit, Vexa and I will get you back, mark my words."

"Ooh, I'm scared now," She shook her whole body, "The big, bad god is threatening me. Land a single hit on me and I won't tell Vixen you were bullying me again."

There was no need to tell me twice. I was ready to wipe the shit-eating grin from her lips.

Whilst she replace her arming cap and helm, I picked up an aspis that was lying close by and it's accompanying dory.

With a sweet smile, I bowed and created a good few wraiths, also carrying the same equipment.

Vexa momentarily pulled off her helm; the beginnings of a sulk was apparent and was going to blow in within the minute.

"That's hardly fair."

"Says the queen of dirty play?" _I_ held her gaze, "You're wouldn't be regretting the challenge now, would you?"

 _Myself_ and my wraiths all took a step forward, spears bristling.

There was a glint in her eye and the helm came down again.

 _Chink_.

It was too bad I had already won, for you see I wasn't the one talking to her.

Vexa was paying attention to all the wraiths and not me, she was focused on Tomas speaking and not me sneaking round her back with my plug dagger.

"I wouldn't move, my love," The wraiths dissipated before her, "All I have to do is push lightly and this blade goes into your groin and slits the artery."

I pressed the pommel end into the meat of her thigh, lightly mind you, we were only playing after all.

Vexa groaned in defeat, lowering her sword and shield.

"You need a helmet that allows for better vision," I slid the dagger back into my belt, "Or were you distracted thinking about what you could do with a few of my wraiths?"

"No," She snapped defensively, "I was trying to figure out how to fight you all. You didn't even give me a chance."

"Well, I couldn't take you from the front, so I took you from behind," I waited for her to shoot back with an equally cheap innuendo, but none came.

The redhead huffed with a pout starting to form.

"Aww, the tables have turned and now you're the one in a mood, because I successfully caught you off guard," I teased, "It might not be ten times in a row, but I beat you."

She set off towards my tent in a hurry and quickly dropped all her armour, leaving it messily strewn on the floor.

If she thought I was going to clean up after her…

She was on the bed, under the blankets and clutching Shalquoir to her breast.

"Don't just drop your armour and crawl into bed all sweaty," I wrestled the blankets away from the redhead, "And Shalquoir, you don't live here. Go back to Majula."

The ball of fluff yawned and stretched out, limply rocking back in Vexa's arms, "It is not for you to say where and where not I live. Now, I don't care for your domestic squabbles, let me sleep."

The ball of fluff resumed the well known dead kitty pose, not fooling anyone when she raised her chin for a scratch.

I gave up on the cat.

"Come on Vex, I don't need you stinking up my tent. Bathhouse, go," I tugged sharply at the blanket and she tugged it back.

No matter what, I could not dislodge the redhead.

"Ah, fucking hell Vexa, don't be a bloody child," My frustration boiled over, "I know you're not upset. Don't be difficult."

For the first time I understood what Luca had to put up with; I clutched the pendant hard and asked her forgiveness.

"I'll go to the bathhouse myself then and I hope whatever is wrong with you has gone by the time I get back, or you can sleep elsewhere tonight," I danced around the pieces of her armour, "I don't have time for grown women who act like children."

Was this me myself growing up or a preference?

I'd like to think the former.

I could have also been a subconscious message to myself, telling me I also had a long way to go. I don't know.

I did know I wanted a smoke, a long and peaceful smoke.

To achieve this, I took the scenic route back to Majula and warming myself by the bonfire for awhile when I got there.

For some time I sat talking with a few of the soldiers von Strepp had posted in the now not-so-sleep town. After which I retired to the bathhouse.

My heart burned, for I couldn't stop thinking about the times myself and the blonde undead had shared the magical waters.

I wanted her back so bad.

Perhaps I was only using Vexa to hide from that feeling. An emotional shield.

How much longer was this grief going to go on for?

By the time I exited the bathhouse the sun was setting below the horizon, casting gorgeous bronze rays over the Majula coastline.

Everything was kissed by the dying light.

Before I left, I visited Lenigrast to see how my armour was coming along.

The master blacksmith swore at me a few time, as I was disturbing him in his time of work.

I got back to our camp as night fell, again taking the longer, more scenic route.

My tent was still occupied. She was still buried under the blankets, on her side, with her back facing me.

Her breathing was soft and light, delicate you might say.

My first thought was that she was pretending, so as not to speak to me. It's not an uncommon thing to see or practice.

"I'm sure you'll tell me tomorrow," I whispered and closed my eyes.

My sleep was rough and dreamless, and I awoke feeling like I hadn't slept at all.

Vexa was rolled over facing me, her knees pulled up to her chest. The kitty was at the foot of the bed, curled up and purring.

I pecked her forehead and set about getting ready for the day, more drilling and I had heard they were going to start showing me how they manoeuvrer alongside the tercios.

The blokes I had been drilling with weren't actually part of the main block of pikemen, but stood around the outside in independent squares.

It was a long day and yes, I made quite the fool of myself.

Close formation manoeuvring was more difficult than these men made it look.

Unbeknownst to me, von Strepp had been busy taking more land for us and fortifying what he could. Supply post set up and the like.

The more control over the land we had, the easier it should have been to take on any army Nashandra might send. So goes the theory.

Control the land, learn the land and use that to your advantage.

It helps when the enemy doesn't really know the land, but being the foreign army in Drangleic, it was rather unlikely Nashandra's forces didn't know where they were going.

My thoughts were not on this though, as I say I didn't know what Marius was up to.

After a quick wash down, I went back to my tent.

The looking-glass armour was neatly placed on it's stand and gleaming cleaned, the sword and shield also neatly put away.

Their owner was sat cross-legged on the bed, cat on her lap and book in her hand.

"Good book?" I said.

It was one from Katie's small library, I recognised the design of the spine.

Vexa shrugged, "I'm only looking at the illustrations, don't know what the words say. Your princess gave it to me."

"That was nice of her," Considering neither of them spoke the same language and who's interactions had been limited, "Maybe she wants to be your friend."

I sat myself down, trying to read what was on the spine.

The book was a collection of poetry and folk tales from the classical period of Erebay, well before I had woken up after creating everything, along with some later pieces that were very familiar to me.

"Are you going to tell me what was wrong yesterday then?" I changed the subject.

Another shrug, she had no reason. It was just a random mood swing.

"I felt much better after your good morning kiss," Vexa announced happily, "And I'm sorry for what it's worth."

It was a genuine enough apology and I accepted.

She then looked away from me, drawing circles on the blankets with her middle finger.

"You know how I've already used up my ten requests," The redhead grinned awkwardly, "Could I have an eleventh teensy-weensy request?"

I lit up another smoke and left her in silence, pulling some thinking faces.

"Depends," I finally answered, "On how teensy-weensy a request it is."

Vexa immediately replied, "Can you teach me how to read this?"

Oh, so that's what a teensy-weensy request looked like, I'd hate to see a giant request from the woman.

"Please!" She pleaded, fluttering her lashes.

How could I say no that that pretty face?  
"No."

With a huff, she puffed out her cheeks, "Don't be mean."

I wasn't, Erebayan isn't an easy language and I didn't think I was capable of teaching her. I suggested that I could read and translate it for her instead.

"How do you know you can't teach me well? You taught the Lordranian how to swear pretty good," She put forth.

Swear words aren't an entire language, though if you look at my vocabulary they might as well be.

Vexa continued to plead, eventually disrupting the sleeping Shalquoir enough for her to leave in search of quieter nap spaces.

"Yes," I admitted defeat, "As long as it gets you to shut up, but you have to understand my own Erebayan isn't the same that the nobles speak, even though I am one."

I sound like a pitman, you can think of me as speaking pitmatic which I can fluently.

A great, toothy grin split the redhead's lips and she jumped up a little, "Yay!"

"Honestly, how old are you?" I sighed and covered my eyes with my hand.

"Four years younger than Vixen."

"It was rhetorical, Vexa. I didn't need an answer," This was going to be a bundle of fun. I pointed to the Vexa sized chair next to me and told her to bring the book over.

She hopped up and sat down heavily on my lap.

"You have you're own chair," I grunted under the extra weight, "It will probably be more comfortable for you too."

The redhead refused to move, "I don't want you to start teaching me now, just read for me a bit."

One of my arms was looped around her middle and the other was being used to hold the book open. Vexa had thumbed through to a shortish poem, the illustration opposite was a highly ornate candle.

I knew the poem inside and out, so translating it into Dranglein in my head was easy.

 _I see the candle before me burning  
_ _without a flame.  
_ _What a curiosity.  
_ _How can such be?  
_ _To see both and neither occupy the same,  
_ _that little flame of nothing._

 _What does it mean to burn  
_ _so bright?  
_ _Yet still,  
_ _the light it gives us  
_ _dull as dark.  
_ _A contradiction of the purest ideas  
_ _of what is known.  
_ _To what end do you burn?_

 _It is in your nature to burn,  
_ _is it not?  
_ _To burn fingers that get too close.  
_ _But you seem to burn without  
_ _the means to do so.  
_ _A simple ruse,  
_ _to trap the blind._

 _Are you a signal to the unseen?  
_ _Why you burn without a flame.  
_ _A maddening concept that  
_ _should fail to exist,  
_ _but does regardless.  
_ _Oh, won't you just burn away,  
_ _little flame._

 _An annoyance to no end,  
_ _a flame that does not burn.  
_ _Time to be snuffed,  
_ _to remove that which should  
_ _not be.  
_ _A candle,  
_ _that burns without a flame._

"I like it. I don't know what it means," She admitted, "It was a little la-di-da though, is all this book full of la-di-da rubbish?"

I tightened my arm around her waist, "Are you saying you didn't really like my poem. That's my name at the bottom, you know."

It was part of my drunken collection of poetry. S _craping the beer barrel_ they've been fondly called.

"Read me something else, mister poet," She began to thumb through the pages again, going towards the front of the book, "Something not so la-di-da this time."

We settled on the tale of Akandra, the first hoplite of Erebay.

Vexa enjoyed this tale much more that the poetry.

Every word she hung onto, finding the exploits of the hoplite thrilling to say the least.

"I can see him," She tapped her left temple, "Fighting in all those colours."

I closed the book with a resounding clap.

"You have seen him, Markus Akandra is the dandy who rides around in all the silks. He wears that whopping great plumed helmet," Like von Strepp, Akandra was a viscount and in charge of the cavalry.

The redhead opened her mouth and breathed in slowly.

"Him?" The inflexion in her tone told me Vexa didn't quite believe me, "He's nothing like in the story."

Vexa hadn't heard of the creative liberties.

Her lips pursed into a pout, disappointed by the reality behind the story.

"You're much more impressive in real life than he could ever be in printed word," I told her, "That doddering old fool couldn't hold a candle up to you."

As a thank you for the kind words, Vexa flicked the side of my head.

"What did I say about flattery?"

"I vaguely remember something about it getting me what ever I-"

I was cut short by Katie shouting in that she hoped I was decent and she was coming in regardless.

Her shoulder length grey-brown hair was tied up in a messy bun.

"I hate to break up your little pleasure session," The princess sounded bored and a little sarcastic, "Marius wants you. As in ten minutes ago."

She turned to leave and Vexa had me stop her.

"What?" She asked in annoyance.

Vexa whispered into my ear that she wanted to thank Katie for the book, in our own tongue.

"Alright, repeat slowly after me. Oschte, ureye'nanae c'otsch izushi preckt. Dhonnayett."

She parroted the words with a few stutters and a little encouraging coaxes.

It brought a smile to my lip, hearing her struggle to get the pronunciation right.

Katie in the meanwhile looked at us like we were speaking nonsense.

"Why is she thanking me for the book I left for you?"

"Because she thinks you brought it for her," The smile faded, "And it would make me happy if it stayed that way. In fact, I'd be happy if you two tried being friends. Apart from Shanalotte, you're the only other woman she know here."

By the way her lip wobbled, I could tell she was going to try and worm her way out of doing it.

"Look, she's asked me to teach her Erebayan. You can help her too," I asked.

Katie went to turn, "I have things to do, John and I only ferry the souls, I don't make friends with them."

She didn't seem to understand that wasn't a request, but an order.

"Kat, if you value our long and fruitful friendship and I hope you do, you'll make friends with lady Kellantine," I raised my voice, "And that wasn't from John, it was from his imperial majesty von Bayer."

There was a pause between us and she left.

Katie had done a good job in pissing me off, it wasn't a strenuous what I had asked her to do.

I thought I would sit seething a little, before going to Marius.

A sharp prod to the cheek broke my trance.

"You asked her to be my friend and she said no, didn't you?" She grinned.

I was aghast, how the hell did she know.

"Whilst I didn't understand a single word, you mister, speak with more than just your mouth," Vexa mimicked my use of arm gestures, "Though really it was a guess. What makes you think I need you to make me friends?"

She had a point.

"Yeah, well," I tried to think of my defence, "I thought it would be nice. Since we found you, you've either clung to me or your brother."

Her long, slender fingers wrapped round my head and she tilted it so I was looking into her eyes.

"I told you thinking was dangerous, but don't you worry, mister. If she doesn't want to be my friend yet, it's her loss. I can be very persuasive though, next time she sleep walks into our tent I'll hug her until she accepts my friendship."

I neglected to mention Katie could always shadow-dance her way out of Vexa's grasp. That wouldn't deter the redhead.

The weight lifted from me and she let me stand.

"I'll be quick and we can continue reading, or start teaching you," I placed the book down on the closest table, "I'll bring some food back if you want."

She told she wasn't hungry and to just get food for myself, which was code for 'I'll steal whatever I can from you'.

On my way to Marius' tent I passed five me hanging from a scaffold. They had been caught looting. All five were half-castes, the mortal side of the Erebayans and so could be executed in the traditional manner.

There was a sixth behind the scaffold, lacking skin and lashed to a crucifix, crying out in agony. I imagined the queen being the one up one the cross, it kept a flame burning within me.

"I see you've put up decorations," I joked with the viscount, nodding my head at Ornstein who was stood with a snifter of brandy from Marius' personal stash.

The viscount ignored my joke and beckoned me over to the maps.

"Outlying scouts have spotted two forces, here and here," He pointed to a part of the map that was give or take twenty-three miles away, "They've joined here and I have been informed that there are around fifteen thousand in strength, mainly consisting of infantry units, but there could be cavalry still on route. Sixty-one cannon are already on their way here, this is where I want to fight them."

A ring of charcoal marked the spot.

"If you want to fight Johan, which I advise against, we'll be marching before night falls. I need us set up before dawn brakes tomorrow."

Marius not wanting me to fight only made me want to more, "My equipment's already cleaned and at the ready. Ornstein, you prepare Vixen and I'll get Vexa ready."

The old man drank his brandy and inhaled through his nose, "Myself and the viscount have agreed that myself and the Kellantines will stay out of your wars."

My eyes narrowed and I looked over at Marius.

"We can't use them and therefore, I have no place for them in my army," von Strepp was blunt, "If you're coming, say goodbye to your whore quickly."  
Now, that wouldn't do at all. Even the dragon slayer seemed put on edge by Marius' words.

I changed my tone, lowering my voice, "Vexa Kellantine isn't no whore, though to you viscount it is lady Kellantine. Call her a whore again and I'll strip you of everything and kill you, or would you perhaps like to take up the issue with her brother?"

With a snort, Marius swivelled on his heals, "Whatever your majesty says."

Before I stormed back to my mistress, the old man stopped me.

"Be careful and don't do anything idiotic," He was quiet, "Listen to your sergeant-at-arms and if I find out you haven't, I'll kick your arse from here to Anor Londo."

I held out my hand and the old man shook it, "Yes sir. I'll try and do you proud, sir dragon slayer."

"Just come back without injury, you insufferable creature. I know the pursuer would prefer it that way, as well as you mistress, his sister. Though when you come back, I would like to speak to you about _the_ undead woman."

The old man said littler else and left me to say goodbye to Vexa.

The redhead was back on the bed, humming tunelessly to herself. In her arms was a struggling Katie.

There was a brief call of 'John, save me!' which I ignored.

I did however kiss them both on the cheek and started to change into my equipment.

"What's happening, John? What did Marius want?" Katie stopped struggling.

There was a goblet of tasteless wine which I took and drank from, then picked up my helmet.

"Nashandra's army is marching, so we are marching to meet them," I said the same to the redhead, "We'll have to postpone your lessons before we've even started."

Vexa relinquished her control over the Reaper, "Are we coming?"

I shook my head, "You've been asked to stay here. You too, Kat."

She was silent and frowned, but it quickly returned to her familiar grin and the assault on Katie began anew.

"That give us ample time to become best of friends," She hugged the struggling Reaper tighter and giggled menacingly, "She doesn't even know what I'm saying. You are going to be my friend."

I 'translated' Vexa's words for Katie, which only made her struggle more.

"What did you tell her?"

"That the moment I leave, you're going to tear her clothes off and have your way with her."

"And she believed you?" Vexa laughed, then pulled her best seductive face and spoke to the Reaper, "You should tell him that he's a big meanie and doesn't deserve either of us. Teasing someone so cute."

"Don't you dare leave me, Jonathon-Frederick. Save me!" The Reaper cried, reaching out an arm to me.

I told Katie the truth and she stopped, raising her middle and index finger.

"Well then, I've got to see the quartermaster and Vixen," I waved goodbye and Katie said something, "Her majesty princess Reyes tells me that if you let go, she will be more than happy to invite you into her own tent."

That put the redhead into a good mood and I slipped away, as she hugged and babbled thanks the Reaper.

And I, abuzz with nervous energy, jogged off towards the quartermasters.

* * *

 **Well, here we go with two new parts to my beautiful mess.  
I do hope you're all doing wonderful.  
You all know the drill, so I shan't go through the formalities, with the exception of the manual. That part was ripped word for word from from the 1638 manual _Directions for musters: Wherein is shown the order of drilling for the Musket and Pike,_ which you can find elsewhere online. It's an interesting read for those of you fond of early modern warfare.  
Anyway, I do so hope you enjoy this and the prior chapter and as always, feedback is welcomed.  
Until next time, I wish for you all the best.**


	20. Field of Bronze

The quartermaster took my arquebus and handed me back one of the standard matchlock.

"If you're majesty wants, I can seat new jewels into you ornamental firelock?"

I didn't see the point. It was a gun, not an art piece.

I waved the man off the idea.

"Whatever your majesty prefers, now here are your bombs and match," He passed over the apostles and wound cord, followed by the tools needed to disassemble and clean the weapon.

With those I was ready; several companies had already marched off, it was a constant stream of soldiers and cavalry.

Marius was mobilising around 30,000 of the men he'd brought and I was now one of them.

I felt giddy as I slotted myself in beside Don, catching the eyes of von Strepp as we passed him.

"Get out of the column, your majesty," The viscount yelled, "There is a horse here for you, you will ride it."

Yeah, that wasn't happening.

"I do believe the viscount just told me to ride a horse," I kept on walking and Don passed me a shard of hardtack, "Should I tell him to fuck off?"

Don shrugged, "I don't know."

He gave the viscount a sidelong glance, "And on the topic of horses, I thought the cock was supposed to be on the bottom?"

Normally that is the case, but this was different.

"The horse next to it's also suffering from the same problem. That one's got a multicoloured cock on top."

Markus Akandra sidled up to von Strepp in his myriad of silks, plumed helmet clutched under his arm. The animatedly talked to each other, before Akandra trotted alongside the column and tried to convince me to ride with the rest of the nobles.

I wasn't shifting from the column.

If they had to walk, I'd walk.

Don thought I was being daft too, refusing the chance to ride, but my mind was set.

He clapped me on the arm and pointed, "Hey, you're lady's come to wave you off."

Vexa was stood to the side of the column, Katie on her left and Vix to her right.

"Euschten'sai," She cried and Katie's face lit up in horror.

Myself, Don and all the men looked Vexa's way.

"Ah, bless her heart. She's trying," I smiled and called back, "It ashtchen'sai, you've just told us all to go and die."

Vexa's cheeks flashed red and tried again, this time getting close enough.

"Keep trying and by the time we're back you'll be able to say goodbye properly," I waved my own goodbye and nodded at Vixen, which he returned.

I could see Ornstein at the back, snifter filled with brandy again. The old man raised the glass in our direction and went about his business.

A fine send off I thought as we marched out of the main gates.

"You're a lucky bastard," Don yawned, "Your woman's here."

"Yes, she is," My hand automatically went to the pendant, "No doubt you'd be screaming at me for being such an idiot. I'm sorry honey, but this is the only course of action I can see."

Don coughed, "Look, I know we've been friends a long time John, but I think we might start having problems if you keep calling me honey."

"Shag off," I bumped my shoulder into him, "Can't you see I'm trying to have an emotional talk with my dead love. I'd thank you not to eavesdrop, Don."

He shook his head, "No can do, John. You're one of us now, you don't have privacy any more."

The bastard looked very smug, though that was soon wiped from his face.

"I thought it was you, Kyris," A sergeant materialised from thin air, "His majesty is not one of you, nor shall he ever be. His majesty is above the likes of you, a petty sneak thief. Now, less talking and more marching!"

The sergeant slipped away like the wind to another part of the column.

There was silence amongst the men around me for a minute or so, at least until the sergeant was out of earshot and they started laughing.

"His majesty is above the likes of you," The man in front mimicked the sergeant, "What's you're opinion on that, sir?"

"He might think differently when he looks for his purse," I chuckled and held up the coin bag, "And if you look in my supply bag, you might find two earthenware jugs filled with von Strepp's private supply of brandy."

My water skin was also filled with the drink, which I passed forward.

"You're worse than Don, sir," He gulped down the brandy and I took offence.

"I am nothing like that thieving scrote. For one, I share," The elicited another laugh from the surrounding men, "And two, I'm royalty, unlike all you filthy commoners."

"And yet, you still choose to march and fight with us," Don took the skin from the man in front, "There's something wrong with your head, John."

For that comment I snatched back the skin, before the thief had a chance to drink from it. He wasn't wrong though, what kind of emperor wants to associate with the common folk? Especially the likes of Kyris.

What emperor wants to do the dirty work of combat?

If I was a proper emperor, I would be wearing gilded armour and sat upon a great steed, watching the battle unfold below me.

If I were a proper emperor, I wouldn't have gotten blind drunk and lost, dragging these men after me.

"You alright?" Don asked, "You've gone awful quiet."

"I'm just thinking...it's daft and I shouldn't, but if I acted like I should do, like the empress of the Reapers wants, none of this would have happened."

He gave me a sympathetic look, "Yes, you're incredibly daft. You need to stop this thinking business, it's doing you no good."

"Yes dad. Whatever you say, dad," I grumbled, wishing they would stop telling me thinking was dangerous for me.

"Oh, he's a good lad," Don put his arm around my shoulder, "But he's a great disappointment to me and his mother. I think she dropped him on his head, that's what's got him into this thinking business and dreams of grandeur."

The blokes laughed again.

"I want to hear the full story, sir. You actually going down the mines and the like and this," One said and I obliged, the building in Majula getting closer.

Many of the undead were stood by the roadside outside of the village, watching in awe as the strange foreign army marched past.

Bronze pikes and armour glinting in the evening sun, standards hanging limply without a breeze to animate them and the constant tattoo of the drums.

I caught Shanalotte's eye, she had also come over to see all the fuss and looked wholly unimpressed at the spectacle. She shook her head in a disappointed fashion.

This I couldn't explain, my interactions with the herald had been brief in the past few months.

I went to grab a smoke and remember that I had 12 bombs strapped to my chest, as did every other man around me.

The day self-contained metallic cartridges came along couldn't come soon enough, carrying loose powder isn't practical.

I looked at the rolled leaf and sighed, I wasn't getting my fix that way.

Don started to fiddle about his person and removed a decorated box from a pocket. He opened it and invited me to take a pinch of the powder inside.

My introduction to snuff was fun; what I didn't choke on, I sneezed back up.

I don't particularly like snuff, I think this might be the reason why.

At least I had my drink.

The column slogged on as evening turned to night and darkness fell, not a single star to illuminate our way. A good thing we could all see in the dark, yes?

There was no stopping.

When Marius had said he wanted to be there and set up before sunrise, he had meant it.

I'm accustom to hard marches now, with more and heavier equipment than I had with me then. I mean we had kept quite the pace when it was only the four of us, but this felt different.

The speed at which we were marching, we were practically running.

We were also creating enough of a racket that the local wildlife were disturbed, running and slithering their way through our legs.

"Those snakes aren't dangerous, are they?" Don hopped over one, nearly tripping the man behind him up.

"They're just copper skins. Pains in the backside, but not dangerous," I started to tell him about an encounter I had on the way back from brightstone, "Me and Luca were in bed and one got into the tent. Well she, thinking that I was trying to pull something funny, punched me. I had no bloody clue what was happening, thought we were being attacked. She was shouting at me and I still didn't know what was happening. All that while the snake pops it's head up, looks at me like and I swear is laughing. I grabbed it, snapped it's neck, told Lucatiel to calm down and showed her the offending creature. To cut this short, she kick me out of the tent and it was pissing down. Thus, I from then on decided to hate every and all copper skins."

I punctuated this by bringing my heel down on one of the serpents.

To the side I watched one tangle with a least weasel and came off worse, the carcass being dragged away by the tiny weasel.

Had an encounter with one of those vicious little fuckers too. Shalquoir had caught one and had brought it back into the tent at the camp, very much alive.

Vexa, in her infinite wisdom, made the ball of fluff drop the weasel and went to pick it up because it was 'cute'.

What do you think happened, dear reader?

It bit her and buggered off, with Shalquoir in hot pursuit.

Pure havoc ensued; the cat knocking over a candle and nearly burning everything to the ground.

Snakes and weasels aside, our part of the column reach our destination well before sun up and we were all given leave to rest for a half hour.

Von Strepp had me join him and the other commanding nobility.

"You regretting not riding here?" He looked me up and down, "I would ask again for you not to fight alongside the common soldiers, but your record of listening to me is poor at best. Don't embarrass me any further and stop your fucking thieving. My so...sergeant has noticed the lack of his purse."

I shrugged, "Your bastard should be more careful with the money you give him, nothing to do with me."  
I turned away and started to walk back to Bannier's men.

We were on the right flank, enclosed by trench work and several artillery batteries, 4 9 pounder demi-culverin per battery. There were also a few 5 pounder sakers mixed in.

Their crews were already standing by and waiting for orders.

Most of the area was farmland and said farmer wasn't too happy to find 30 thousand soldiers camped on his land.

"First undead, now soldiers. What next?" He complained as he stormed off, only to be back ten minutes later with three of ours.

von Strepp hanged them on the spot from the nearest tree.

The farmer was compensated and sent on his way.

The viscount called me back, "I have enough problems in this army with looting. Take a good, hard look at them Johan."

I know Marius would have my neck stretched if he could.

One of them I saw was still living, twitching and fighting against the noose.

von Strepp nodded to his provost.

With a swift tug on the legs, the man's neck snapped and he went limp.

"Half castes, if they had half an ounce of proper breeding and you're just as bad as them," Marius muttered under his breath and I sought out his sergeant.

I gave him back the purse and apologised, neither of us really knew what to say and so awkwardly made peace.

When I returned to Don we were made to form up and I was again asked if I would retire to the rear.

They were persistent, I would give them that.

I watched Bannier dismount and walk around to each company, slowly making his way to us.

We could already smell them and so there was no doubt what we were to be told.

Bannier talked to his own sergeant, who talked to us.

"Check over your guns, make sure they're in working order," The sergeant commanded, "You'll be fighting within the hour."

My, what a long hour that was.

There was a light breeze blowing across the farmland as the sun crested the horizon, a field of bronze pike heads glistening in the early morning.

Eventually the smell of the approaching army gave way to the sound of thousands of feet and the clanking of armour.

There's was a panicked deployment, I don't believe they were quite ready to run into us just then. They were still out of range of our guns, both large and small.

We couldn't engage either.

The other thing was we couldn't see their cavalry, but we could all smell the horses.

It was a few seconds short of half 8 when the first battery opened up on the Dranglein army; 61 cannon make one hell of a noise and even more of a mess if the balls connect.

In the Dranglein armies first ranks were hollows, they were a rabble being herded by gaolers from the Bastille.

If any of the undead that we had tried to bribe had actually stuck to their commitments, they would have been clearing out said hollows.

There wasn't that great a number of them and the first assault felt to pieces, as did the hollows under the cannon fire.

It made me wonder what our fortress defence guns would have done to the walking husks. Those pieces were demi-cannon and lobbed 32 pound balls and canister.

The demi-culverin continued to fire, now at the clanking masses of Dranglein soldiers in their Gothic armour.

That led to the question of how rich Nashandra was, seeing as every man was covered in full plate.

The armour didn't help them in the end, cannon balls cutting great swathes out of the blocks of infantry and leaving mangled chunks of torn flesh and twisted plate.

You could see them wanting to turn around, but all were spurred on by their own officers.

I watched one ball fall short and rolled it's way towards the mass of steel plate; a man at arms stuck out his foot, intent on stopping the 'slow' moving ball. It took his foot off below the ankle and continued on it's merry way.

It was getting harder to see the approaching army, the smoke from the cannon was drifting forward and blanketing everything.

That was when the guns went silent and the order was given for us to advance; I took my position in the back of the sleeve.

We were slow, one drum beat was one step forward.

The demi-culverin opened fire once more.

I flinched as every ball skipped over us. Having seen what they did to the enemy, I didn't want it happening to me.

"Keep tensing like that and you're going to make me nervous," Don said, "Calm down. They're not going to hit us."

His reassurance wasn't doing me any favours.

"Maybe von Strepp was right and you shouldn't be here," Don continued.

"Too late now," I swallowed.

From the far left came the sound of hooves, thousands of them and hopefully ours. The sound of guns confirmed this.

From what I could tell, the harquebusiers rode towards the mass of infantry and fired into them. If you were to look at them from above the way they rode looked like a snail, being straight when they were riding in and then forming a partial circle as they got in range of the Dranglein footsoldiers.

The cuirassiers were performing similar duties, riding in front of the enemy and using their wheellock pistols.

One of the Dranglein infantry blocks broke formation and ran, any cheering from us was shortly quelled by the officers and sergeants.

One group of infantry breaking wasn't a win.

The cavalry rode off around us and our orders were issued.

Our sleeve stopped and the first rank gave fire, then marched round to the back and the next rank stepped forward.

It was a carousel, of somewhat constant fire.

My heart was thumping harder and harder with every rank that fired, my part in the play was coming up.

The smoke coughed up by the arquebuses was blinding, stinging my eyes and obscuring the enemy.

Above the sound of the gun, I could hear the screams of the enemy wounded.

At the order, I levelled my matchlock at where I assumed the enemy were and gave fire. It was then the countermarch to the rear of the sleeve and the whole thing started up again.

Every man around me was fluid in his reloading of his weapon, whereas I fumbled around with a lack of grace.

I was only finished reloading as I reached the front again.

Amongst the stink of sulphur, blood made it's way to my nose. Thick and rich, and plenty of it.

For the second time I gave fire and it was the last time as part of the sleeve, for across the tercios came the cry of cavalry.

Without a word we moved for the safety of the pikemen, taking shelter in between the ash shafts.

Nashandra's cavalry screamed out of the smoke. Men and horse in the most extravagant of armour, lances.

No matter how hard the knight drove the horse, the beast would not ride into the wall of pikes and it gave us a chance to fire with out fear of exposure.

I managed to shoot down one knight as his horse bucked, it's rider's foot getting caught in the stirrup and was dragged away.

As I loaded the fourth shot our cuirassiers and harquebusiers reappeared to chase the enemy cavalry off.

I watched one close by press his wheellock pistol into the knight before firing and another used the bulb-like pommel as a club.

One had a flash in the pan and swiftly pulled a second from his belt, jamming the muzzle into his target's gorget.

There were also casualties on our side.

A Dranglein knight dropped his lance and went for his war hammer, crushing a cuirassiers head.

Within minutes of their initial assault the Dranglein cavalry had been driven off, but we were not that close to the remaining infantry that our demi-culverins could no longer fire.

The pikemen reorganised this and readied to meet the enemy.

We continued to hug the pike square as long as it was possible, the enemies archers were stating to loose arrows back at us. Rather than volley, they were picking individual targets and knocking us off that way.

I caught one in my left shoulder and Don got one in the thigh.

"Which one?" I called.

"That one swanning about with the peacock feathers," He pointed and I fired, putting down the offending archers.

I then snapped the arrow shaft, to get the rest out I'd need the surgeon.

The archers eventually stopped; where we could kill them outright, they would need to either get a lucky hit in a vital area or turn one of us into a walking pincushion.

It seemed our job was done and now was time for the push of pike.

I was distracted from the imminent push from the infantry by the sound of an explosion from our left.

A rider shorty came, "Lord Marsche reports wytches throwing fire and enemy soldiers throwing fire grenades. It's requested that you pull back your arquebusiers or spread them out to avoid combustion."

Now it had been mentioned, I could see them. Scantly clad in red and grinning under their hoods, desert sorceresses.

"Yeah," I said slowly, "We're not close enough, nor accurate enough to hit them from here and I can hear something that may be slightly more alarming."

There was a constantly repeating 'wumph' noise coming from behind the enemy formations.

I looked to Don and then my sergeant, "Wyverns or some other kind of lesser-dragon. They've sent dragon riders."

They appeared as black dots against the clouds, three of them.

How the hell were we supposed to fight against them?

Whilst we were worrying about the incoming aerial threat, the pike squares engaged one another. Both were quite evenly matched. Their own pikes weren't as long as ours, but they were utilising halberds, bills and zweihänders to counter the length.

Swears and curses were shouted from Erebayan and Dranglein soldiers, as they edged ever closer.

Our minds however were on the wyverns, now diving on us from above.

The only thing that we could do was fire on them and hope that the lead rounds would penetrate wyvern scales.

It was the last moment when we fired and my gun failed to discharge, the match had gone out and at both ends. I needed to pay better attention.

I would have started to panic, if not for the wyvern flying off in the other direction having thrown it's rider.

The rounds hadn't been anything more than a general annoyance, the sound on the other hand had a great effect in startling the beast.

The second bolted similarly, the third got lucky.

The wyvern and the rider swooped in and tore a swathe out of the pike square. It dropped them unceremoniously a little way from us in a heap, before another volley sent it flying in the direction from which it came.

"Here," Don got my match smouldering, "Try not to let it go out again."

I nodded and fired at the closest wytch, missing her.

It was a rushed shot, what was I expecting.

"Their centre's collapsing!" Someone cried, "Keep pushing."

The front ranks of the pike square were carnage, men standing impaled, whilst below separate battles were being fought one on one.

With the pikes locked, men scrambled from either side under the polearms with daggers and the like.

We arquebusiers were ordered to fire one final time, the ever increasing thunder of hooves re-entering the battlefield.

The heavy cavalry in all their bronze armour had shown up, flanking the Dranglein army and coming down on them like a hammer.

The infantry block before us broke and fled into the waiting lances, some got through and other gave up where they stood, dropping their weapons and pleading for their lives.

I wanted to relax thinking the battle was over, but I was so pent up on adrenalin I couldn't, so I went to find lord Bannier for further orders.

"Your majesty," He bowed, "You seem to have come through this unscathed."

"Apart from the arrowhead in my shoulder, yes," The head was lodged in the bone and wasn't doing me any favours, "What are we doing with those that have surrendered?"

Bannier hummed, "Viscount von Strepp has ordered that we are not to take prisoners, unless your majesty has other ideas at this moment."

I thought about it, looking out at the Dranglein soldiers with their hands up.

"We could use them. Conscript them, you could say," I proposed, "Serving us, in return for saving their lives."

Bannier shrugged, "If your majesty wishes to ask the enemy surrendered, I will not stand in your way. However, viscount von Strepp may speak differently."

I nodded, "Send riders along the line with this message, I his imperial majesty von Bayer does hereby extend peace to those who will join their weapons with us. There only other choice is the peace of death."

300 or so Dranglein soldiers stepped forward, only after I translated for each messenger across the line. The rest were slaughtered without a second thought.

That was the final act of this battle and I saw what we had done.

All the corpses mangled by cannon fire and horse shoe, you might be excused for thinking it was only offal. There was not indication that these chunks of meat were once humans.

There were also the Dranglein soldiers that weren't dead and only wounded, littering the field and crying out for help. They too were all sought out and killed.

That's a sound that doesn't get any better. It might seem strange, but the after battle is just as bad as the actual battle.

The looting followed and I took part, I won't deny it.

So much I took from the dead that day.

I only stopped when the pain in my shoulder grew to be unbearable and I went to find the surgeon, who was very busy and refused to see me as I was.

That was understandable, as my second son Alex always tells me, 'medical beats royal'. I ended back with von Strepp and the other nobles.

I took a knife from one of them and cut the arrowhead out myself.

I turned it over in my fingers before dropping it.

"The fuckers have been poisoning these," With the adrenalin gone, I could feel it throughout my arm.

Marius passed me his wineskin, "Drink this and bear with it. Now, we need to count the dead and reorganise, why didn't you say anything about grenadiers and wytches?"

"The last time I saw desert sorceresses was at least half a year ago, I wasn't aware there were even any in Drangleic," I took off my bandoleer and powder horn, and lit up a smoke, "And the fire bombs...those have been few and far between. I think the bigger problem are the dragon riders."

Marius looked down to field and grunted, "The sound scared them off well enough, might have been worse if they were the fire breathing kind."

That was true, but I've heard that wyverns can breath poison which sounds equally as unpleasant.

"I would expect them to regroup within the next few days," von Strepp continued, "Would you fight in the front again? Having seen what it's like."

I started to chew on my lip, "I don't know, I'm not sure I was ready. Maybe I needed more time to train."

He advised that I give up my endeavour and return to the fort at Majula. That was tempting, but I couldn't quit when we had just started.

"Go back to the men you were with, get some food and keep the drinking to a minimal. I know you've got my brandy," Marius shook his head and scratched the back of his neck, "And Johan, you didn't embarrass yourself. Well done."

The ghost of a smile came with the viscounts compliment, it was a strange sight. He waved goodbye, walking off towards Markus Akandra and the command tent.

I went back down to find Don, past the huddled prisoners being stripped of their weapons and processed.

"How's your leg?" I asked.

"Throbbing like hell," Don had his hand pressed against the wound, "Surgeon's assistant is too fucking busy to pull a fucking arrow out my thigh."

I took a look, "A good thing neither of us can die, poison arrows mate. Bite down on something."

This arrowhead wasn't in that deep and was easy to free.

Don thanked me, then commented on my hands.

"You're hands are shaking."

"So they are, I hadn't noticed," I tried to stop it, to no avail.

It's the cannon that sets it off, always does. 61 cannon fired a shot every 30/40 seconds, can you imagine what I'm like during drumfire?

"It's funny," I started to say, looking at the carnage, "I have no problem with killing people or fighting, but this...I don't know what to think of this. Damn it Luca, why can't you be here and tell me? Would you even know? You'd disapprove...I shouldn't be here."

I had been given ample opportunity to not involve myself and I had not listened.

Too late, I'd made my bed.

"Don, how many have you fought like that?" I lit up another fag.

He held up four fingers and swallowed, before saying, "This was the first though with an enemy not using guns and artillery."

Something I hadn't thought about. I was flinching at outgoing cannon shot, what was I going to be like when it was incoming?

A corporal handed me a chunk of brown loaf, bring to my attention to how hungry I also was. The bread was quickly devoured, sometimes a lot of food isn't needed for me to be happy. Rich food wasn't what I needed anyway.

It then occurred to me it wasn't even mid-morning yet, it was only about half 10.

"Alright, you've had your breather," Our sergeant made himself known, "Clean your equipment and then you're helping with the dead. Your majesty does not however have to partake in the latter."

We'd see.

I found it calming when breaking down and cleaning my matchlock, at that I excelled over the other men. I was slower than the other men whilst cleaning, but my gun was shining by the end.

A lot of digging followed the cleaning, so many bodies and unaccounted parts.

I think I can safely say that most of my soldiering career has been made up of digging, lots and lots of digging.

The sergeant fussed about me doing manual work, but as I wrote before, I'd made my bed and I was alright with doing that.

Noon came and I was invited to dine with the officers, who were all in their nice clothes. All would have been the height of fashion back in Erebay with their ruffs and slashed doublets.

Me, I was still in my buff coat, caked in powder, mud and blood. Stinking of sweat. My hair had gone frizzy and looked messy regardless of it being tied up or left loose.

"Here's to a battle well fought," Marius raised a glass, "And to a swift victory over the rest. And to his majesty, who against all suggestions, fought alongside you men and proved himself."

There was a minute of rowdy cheering and the serving of a small meal.

On my right was sat Akandra, the feather in his hat bobbing as he rabbited on. It was grating on my nerves, that and them.

"So, what did that messenger say?" The dandy cavalryman asked.

Marius placed his pipe down onto the table, "Whilst we were fighting here, a secondary force attempted to take the fortress at Majula and were completely repulsed. The new canister rounds worked a treat. Their ancillary force was dealt with by the fortress defenders shortly after. These mortals may have dragons and wytches, but they are still primitives at the end of the day."

More rowdy cheering ensued.

"I hate to be the one to ruin this moment of celebration," I blew smoke upward, "But it defeating her army won't matter one bit if we don't take her castle. I've been there and there's no way we can lay siege, and assaulting it directly would be sheer madness."

von Strepp asked me to show him.

When I was finished he gave me the 'yes, we're sort of buggered' look.

"Can we mine it?" Someone asked.

"If you want to mine through a mountain, be my guest," von Strepp sighed and looked back to me, "What's the back entrance like?"

"Very much the same, but without the bridge," I thought about it, trying to remember if one of the 'lords' had told me anything.

We didn't come up with a solution then, instead we decided to wait until we knew we would have to definitely take Drangleic castle. Well, we all knew we had to take it, we just didn't know when.

"Alright then gentlemen, on the map there is a village a few hours march from here. We're going occupy it," von Strepp had his adjutant place the map on the table, "Baron von Claun will take a third of the men, cannon and horse, and hunt down the remnants of those we fought today."

I didn't think that was necessary, but they were the seasoned military veterans and I a daft twat, who knew nothing.

Akandra tapped my shoulder, "How about your majesty leaves the dirty work of the infantry and joins us in the cavalry? It's far more glorious."

"I don't think so," I turned him down, "I don't like horses, Markus. I can fight them, but I won't become a cavalryman."

And I've already discussed my position on wheellocks, so I won't say it again.

"You don't like or are you scared?" von Strepp had his pipe going again, "We could ply you with alcohol, you seem up to most things when you're drink addled."

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

We finished off our food and wine, and I left them all to make their preparations.

An hour or so after, myself and the infantry were formed up and on the march. The battle, the Dranglein people would refer to as the field of bronze, was soon behind us and the next objective in sight.

The town was on the large size and eerily empty looking from a distance, the overwhelming scent of rot told me otherwise.  
Akandra sent forth his harquebusiers to scout it.

Within minutes of their entrance, all of their guns spoke aloud and they galloped madly back to us, a trio of cyclopean ogres charging after them.

The gunners of the cannon scrambled to get their pieces in firing order, whilst the rest of us did the same.

Rather than the sleeves, we arquebusiers formed into ranks three deep. It caught me off guard because I hadn't been taught this.

They had started to teach basic line tactics before they had found me, because the wider empire was trying to phase out matchlocks and introduce the slightly more expensive, but more practical doglocks.

The sight of those charging ogres was nearly enough to send me running, though the embarrassment of running away held me in position. It didn't, however, stop me from firing prematurely and wasting a shot.

I was scolded by my sergeant afterwards; the man had taken pride in thinking that he had trained me as well as the common soldiers.

The next shot I managed to fire under the command of my superiors. I don't think it hit anything, but it was a better shot than my first.

We, the arquebusiers, only succeeded in slowing down the monstrous creatures. It was the cannon in the end that saw to the end of the ogres. That was only 7 of the 41 cannon in our army group, the rest hadn't the time to set up.

10lb balls made short work of the ogres, crushing meat and splintering bone. When they hit, that was.

The hollows followed the ogres, in great shambling masses.

It felt as if it was harder to fight the soulless husks off than the Dranglein army, which couldn't be right.

The hollows fell to the arquebuses as the living did.

Undead flesh stumbled onwards, closing the gap with speed.

Heavy cavalry smashed through them, thinning the mass in one clean stroke. The mounted hoplites were the pride of Erebay's horsemen and were doing a splendid job.

We arquebusiers mopped up the remaining and were sent into the village, checking every building. This isn't exactly easy with long guns and primitive long guns at that.

We found little, other than hints of prior life and the people that once inhabited them.

One group did stumble across an Alonne Knight of all beings, a lone Alonne knight. He wasn't cursed with un-death, which was discovered shortly after his death at the end of five musket barrels.

The Alonne knight did inflict one casualty before his demise, disembowelling one arquebusier with a single stroke of his katana.

What or why the Alonne knight was so far away from Venn was beyond me. Vix would tell me that certain Alonne knights would wander the lands looking for a master, as he put it, to serve.

The twat had chosen the wrong master and had ended up dead because of it.

Then again, it could have been an example of 'wrong place, wrong time,' and seemed more likely.

Myself and Don had a look at the dead knight, my friend taking an interest in the sword.

"I want it," He whispered in my ear, "But that bastard isn't likely to give it over."

I shot him down before he even asked.

When this was all over and done, we could always go back to Venn and pick him up a black steel Katana.

"This one's a long way from home," I changed the subject from the sword to the owner, "Those are the humans that had the guns, before I blew up their armoury. There must have been a thousand handguns, at least."

"Handguns?" Someone spoke up, "Hell, I don't want anything to do with those death traps again."

I didn't catch the man's name, but he went on a rant about how he had been part of a group of handgunners. Most of them didn't fire and simply blew up.

I glad I didn't go with one of those and yes I'm aware that the Iron king's thunder lance wasn't exactly safe either, considering that I nearly killed Ornstein and blinded myself with it.

Still though, whilst the handgun was a very important step in the evolution of firearms technology, it's far too primitive to be of any practical use over just being noisy and smelly.

The rest of the village was as quiet as the rest and we had it occupied before sundown, and worked all through the night and into the following day to help the few engineers we had to begin fortifying the village.

We now had to wait for Baron von Claun and his men to return to us; I was kept occupied with the busy work of digging the fortifications and the meals with the noble officers.

Every evening at 7 we would gather and eat, and I normally had the piss taken out of me for being covered in mud and for still acting common.

You know what they say though, if you want a job doing properly.

Everything seemed fine for a week or so, but nothing good lasts.

"Are you digging or rolling around in the stuff?" Bannier joked, "Could you get any more on you?"

"The better question is why you didn't put any effort into changing?" von Strepp sneered over his twelfth snifter of brandy, "Her majesty empress Reyes is the finest example royalty I can think of. You, Johan, are a disgrace."

I scoffed, "Zoey Reyes is a tight-arsed snob. Who like myself, only happens to be monarch because she was the first of her kind. Hell, I bet she would have murdered her way up to the top as well. She's no better than me."

Marius took offence and bolted up, lips and jaw trembling.

"Go on," I pushed, "Say whatever you're going to say, Marius."

von Strepp wet his lips and swallowed, "I hate you. I absolutely despise you and I'm sick of this charade. I'm only here now because her majesty ordered us to find you. Her majesty doesn't even like you, so why she wants you back is a damned mystery."

The viscount drained the dregs from the snifter and placed it down, "You consort with commoners and mortals, going as far as acting like them. And let us not forget your whore."

And let's not forget what I told him about calling Vexa a whore. Augustine Morales at least had the brains to keep his mouth shut.

I grabbed the closest decanter and hurled it at the viscount, hitting him square in the face. I had warned him.

"You're a violent thug and a thief," Marius plucked a shard of glass from his cheek, "You have never had any care about being emperor, always wanting to get drunk or sneaking off to work as a commoner. Then there is here. You dragged us into war, which isn't any of our business."

Markus Akandra stood up and tried to defuse the situation.

"Come now, you've had too much yourself and whilst his majesty may be a little unconventional, he has never done us any harm. Why don't we all retire for the evening and let cooler heads prevail in the morning?"

The majority of nobles agreed, but not von Strepp.

"I say he is unfit to be our emperor," Marius slammed his fist down on the table, "We should give him over to queen Nashandra and tell empress Reyes he didn't want to return."

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath, "If I'm unfit as I am, I must change so that I better suit the roll of emperor, yes? I believe in situations like this, I should have you detained for treason and dragged before a court of your peers. That's what Zoey would do."

Marius snorted in false amusement and tried to sit back down, missing the chair and hitting the floor.

"Do you think for a single moment that they would let that happen?" He gestured to the other nobles.

"What makes you think I'm giving them a choice?" I left the tent quickly in search of the nearest loaded gun, Akandra and Bannier following closely and trying to dissuade me.

I wasn't listening, instead ripping a wheellock pistol from on of the patrolling guards.

Bannier gripped my shoulder, turning me around.

"Your majesty, he's drunk," The lord pleaded, "Let him sober up and apologise."

"Oh, don't worry," I opened the pan cover and dropped the dog, "I'm not going to kill him, I'm only going to shoot him. He can keep his immortality for now, but if he thinks he's keeping his peerage..."

"Your majesty should reconsider-"

I pushed past Bannier and fired at von Strepp, being close enough I couldn't miss and hit his belly. The bastard fell backwards and I followed up with several swift stamps on the wound, with a kick to the head for good measure.

von Strepp had passed out; the bullet wound was trying to heal, but with a foreign body in it couldn't.

I tossed the pistol aside and glared at each man present.

"This piece of shit was correct, I am a thug. I may not be what you want me to be as an emperor, but I'm not changing for a single one of you," I kept a low tone of voice, "None of you have to like me, but remember I have the power to end each and every one of your lives. By all means, go swear fealty to Zoey when we're back safe and sound in Erebay, but here and now you're mine. I want no more of this 'act like you're supposed to' bullshit, I'll act however I wish. Am I clear?"

Every man there took to the knee.

I took that as a yes.

The guards had clocked on and had come to investigate the gunfire.

"Marius von Strepp has been relieved of his duty," I explained to the provost, "You will detain him after you've taken him to the surgeon. I assume you know how to keep a pure-born from shadow-dancing and making wraiths, yes?"

The provost nodded and with two of his officers took von Strepp's unconscious body away.

My eyes then fell on the dandy cavalryman, "You have seniority, Markus. You're in command. Do you want to hand me over to the enemy's queen?"

Akandra shook his head quickly, "No, your majesty."

"Good," I glared at them once more, "Good evening, gentlemen."

A sizeable crowd had gathered, a mixture of infantry and cavalry. They were all wanting to know why there had been a gun fired, like the guards before them.

I didn't give them an answer, walking away from the officer's meal tent. I didn't actually know what I was doing, only that I wanted to be away from everyone. I wanted to be outside this occupied village.

A few hours to get my head back on straight.

I'd go shooting in the wilds; I ducked briefly into my tent and grabbed my matchlock, along with a blanket and my sword.

For a moment it looked like the provost and several guards were going to stop me, but they all stood to one side and bowed their heads.

From the moment I left through the gate I was tailed by Don, he wasn't very subtle either.

"Let me be," I shouted in frustration, "I don't need you telling me that I should go back."

He took a slow drag on his cigar and exhaled the smoke slowly also.

A grin formed on his lips, "I'm only following you so that I don't have to do my picket duty. Protecting the emperor is far more important."

The skiving cunt was skiving again.

When I joined the army proper, after my passing of the national service laws which included members of the royal family and managed to get to sergeant, I came down hard on the skivers and malingerers.

Thankfully by then Don had accepted he wasn't getting out of the army whilst married to Ingreet Morgan and started to take the job seriously.

My friend held up his hand, "I'll follow you, but I'll not interfere and anyway, most of us want von Strepp dead."

I stopped, "Conspiring to kill a member of his majesties nobles is treason, Donald. I, however, am a kind monarch and am in need of people I can trust. How'd you fancy being made baron Kyris?"

He burst into laughter and told me to make it higher than von Strepp's, thus Donald Kyris became the earl of Andron.

"That should shake the hive," I smirked, "I think Bannier and Akandra will be alright, but the others will be in a frightful state."

They were too, but that wasn't we got back.

The two of us made our way to a small wood, in which I whole heartedly swear I saw pheasants and I was going to shoot them.

That could wait until the morning, a nights sleep should have been good enough to calm me down. It was a pleasant evening. Not exactly warm, but not snowing or pissing down with rain.

Thoughts of Lucatiel flashed through my mind, thinking of the last time, the night she got sick. I pushed those memories back and forced myself to sleep.

I couldn't even escape in my dreams.

The garden of crucifixes was before me and in place of the doll-like woman, was the blonde undead.

There was nowhere I could turn, only facing her.

"Are you here to scold me for my treatment of von Strepp and then running away?" I ended up asking, "Why won't you let me let go?"

The blonde undead raised an eyebrow, "I'm a figment of your imagination, von Bayer. Though if you want me to scold you, I'll scold you. How about we start with you being overly violent? And it's not me that's stopping you from letting go...well, I suppose in here it is."

"What do I do?"

The Mirrah knight shrugged, "You dreamt me up, why would I know? I had though you already knew. Now, stop dreaming and wake up."

The dream collapsed around me and I jolted awake.

My head was swimming, feeling like I hadn't slept at all that night. A full day of shoot would hopefully wipe that all away.

I woke Don and prepared for the day ahead, and I would have very much liked to have continued.

We were stopped when a messenger galloped into view, "Your majesty needs to return now!"

He seemed panicked.

"Calm down a moment, son. Breath," I passed up my wineskin and Don held the bridle, "I'll warn you now though, if this is about what transpired last night-"

The young man cut me off, "Baron von Claun has returned. His forces were attacked by the enemy, thankfully they were routed by Claun's men. The baron as reported that another force is en route and are expected within the day. Another rider has come in from Majula, a fleet of around eighty ships were spotted off the coast. A letter has come for you with more details."

An encroaching army and a mystery force at the coast, intriguing and enough to distract my mind. The letter too I wanted to read.

Myself and Don ran behind the messenger, the outlines of the cannon silhouetted against the early morning sun.

At the gate our sergeant was waiting.

"Kyris!" He screamed, "You malingering fuck. Where the hell have you been? You know the punishment for deserting your post!"

Don walked up to the sergeant, his face millimetres from the junior officer.

"Do you think that's any way to talk to an earl?" My friend asked in turn, smiling smugly.

The sergeant grunted and warned Don to knock it off with the bullshit, it wasn't going to make things better for him. That's when I intervened.

"The earl of Andron and I were out in the nearby woodland, intent on shooting some of the local fowl," I stared the man down, "He was there at my behest. You will say no more on the matter."

The sergeant swallowed, trying to comprehend what I had just told him.

Myself and Don walked off, whilst he stood slack-jawed and wanting to contest my raising the 'malingerer' to nobility.

Akandra was busy planning for the oncoming enemy, preparing the defences and where every man should be etc.

I left him be, knowing full well that I would only get in the way. I retired to my billet instead, Don still in tow, with the letter from Majula.

I scanned it over once before starting to read it thoroughly.

"Goodness, she writes like a bloody child," I sighed, trying to decipher the words.

"You did say she's only started to learn our language, were you expecting her to be fluent already?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's not from Vexa, Kat wrote this. Her handwriting's atrocious for starters and I'm certain that several of the words she's used don't actually exist."

One would think that being a princess would lead to the best education that could be afforded and Katie would be able to write in a manner befitting. Similar thing applies to her cooking skills, the woman is a walking hazard in a kitchen and her food ain't much better.

I'm not exactly being fair, she's incredibly good with numbers. I'm not, I struggle to count to 3 on most days. Though on a good day and if the moons are aligned, I have been known to get to 4.

Sorry, where was I?

"The princess say anything about the foreign fleet?"

"She says, that the old man says they're flying the Volgen naval flag. It's possible that Nashandra has had to bring in mercenaries or they're here to exploit the turmoil. The old man seems to think we'll have no problem with them and I hope he's right. The rest's private."

I stuffed the letter in a pocket and had a drink, Katie had also written about her and my mistress. Mostly it was about how Vexa was annoying to no end, yet she was enjoying her company. The language barrier was sort of breaking between them.

I was happy they were getting along and the final part of the letter made me smile. In a different style of handwriting was written 'etter'en veraxe' or 'I miss you'.

Fitting, as I missed the redhead too.

Hopefully we wouldn't be here much longer. I genuinely believed that, but as we all know 'wars are never over for Christmas', there's always more.

"Alright then, let's make ourselves busy."

* * *

 **Here we go again with a new chapter of my wonderful mess.  
As always, I hope you enjoy and feedback is welcomed.  
Until next the next time, i hope you all stay well. I'm off to figure out how one would feasibly take a castle like Drangleic's.**


	21. Throne of Drangleic

Would you like to take a guess at how long it took for us to deal with the Volgen mercenaries, dear reader?

If you said somewhere in the vicinity of 8 and a half months, you're close.

The remnants of the Dranglein army had surrendered after they had failed to take the occupied village, but the Volgen falconers…

On top of that we were starting to run low on gun powder; our supply lines were poor between our location and the fort at Majula. Every now and again something would get through, but not enough to keep us fully supplied.

Out of the roughly 30 thousand mortal Erebayans (the half-castes) that had marched out of Majula, we had lost around 11 thousand. At the field of bronze we had lost under 300, the Volgens weren't playing about.

Part of the problem had been two months of solid rainfall, that put all of our guns out of action and flooded one of the powder magazines.

The men were restless too, like I had been, they were all wanting to go home. Pay was another issue, not a single man had received any since stepping foot in Drangleic.

This was a complete and utter shambles, and there was only one person to blame.

It was a miracle that we managed to push them back into the sea, aided by the Dranglein remnants.

They alone managed to bolster our forces enough to fight the other foreign threat.

We returned to the occupied village, now referred to as Kholerkine, at the end autumn. Just in time for fresh supplies to be wheeled in.

I felt so tired, physically exhausted.

"Hey, cheer up," Don bit down on an apple, "We came out on top."

"Eight months and we haven't advanced further than here, we went backwards for goodness sake," I huffed, "And we still have to take that bloody castle. It needs to be soon too, we've had to hang thirty deserters already this week."

My friend continued to work on his apple, spitting a seed onto the floor, "Their army's ours now, surely they would let their own back in, with a few of our boy hidden amongst them."

I had serious doubts about that idea.

With a sigh I rolled over on my cot, facing the wall.

"What else is eating at you?"

"It's Lucatiel's birthday today. She would have been thirty-one," My words came out as no more than a whisper, "I had it all planned, you know. Months in advance, trying to make it better than her last. Did I tell you about what happened?"

Don shook his head, "No."

"You need to get better at lying to me, mate," I rolled back over to face him, "If you want to slap me and tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, you have my permission."

The earl of Andron smiled, "Nah, but don't you think it's daft that you're moping about a woman in your past? Especially when you have another who's alive."

I accepted his point, with the exception of Vexa not being in Kholerkine but in Majula. I could write her. Now that the supply lines were back up I could send letters.

"Point taken and on a separate note, did any smoking leaf come in on the supply waggons?" A month since we had run out. I was starting to get the twitches.

The earl shrugged, "Ask the QMG, I'm not in charge of supplies."

That was funny, I could have sworn viscount Akandra had requested that Don be the one to check the wagon train when it came in.

Another shrug followed my questioning and he told me he may have had a brief look. Powder, shot, food, the usual. They apparently had quite the nice little set up going at Majula now, with the means to produce more powder having been found.

It would have been nice if they could have gotten that powder to us when we were fighting the fucking Volgens!

My mood continued to sour.

"There might have been something that came from Majula that'll interest you," He looked to the door and rapt on it with his knuckles.

Slowly and with a squeak the door was pushed open.

I did a double take, my eyes obviously playing tricks.

"Hi mister."

Speak of the fucking devil; Vexa Kellantine ducked through the door frame, having to stay ducked in the low ceilinged room. Under her arm was a large parcel, which she gently placed down on the floor.

Don left us, shooting me a knowing look as he disappeared around the corner.

"You're supposed to still be in Majula, wha-what are you doing here?" I asked in confusion, "Is everything alright?"

My mind automatically went to the negative.

The redhead pouted, "So you're not happy to see me?"

"Is there something you need?"

She folded her arms across her chest, "A hug would be nice and to know you're alright."

"Are you sure everything is alright?" I hadn't listened to a single word Vexa had said and she had noticed.

"Jonathan!" She snapped.

My little confused trance was broken and I stopped being a twat. I told her to close the door and shifted over on the bed.

The frame creaked as she laid down, it wasn't a bed made for a 'lord'.

When she had gotten comfy with her head resting on my shoulder, I looped an arm around her. The 'I missed you' spiel followed and I commented on her hair.

She had grown it out.

Not long long, jaw length.

The fringe was parted in the middle and tucked behind her ears. The style suited her just as much as when her hair was short.

Then it occurred to me which language she was speaking.

Katie had come through in the teaching department, I was impressed. Of course, there was still a lot for Vexa to work on, but she was giving it her all and that all I cared for.

Whilst I was taking notice of her, she took notice of the new scar. Once again my body had failed to heal properly.

A Volgen hussar had slashed his sabre across my face, cutting right through the bridge of my nose and bisecting the first scar under my right eye.

She traced it with her finger lightly, lingering for a moment at the edge.

"You're meant to duck, silly."

"The bastard charged his horse through the pikes, I didn't get a chance to duck," I took her finger and kissed the tip.

"Then maybe you need to start wearing armour and speaking of which," Vexa stood up from the bed and retrieved the parcel, unwrapping it and showing off it's contents.

The Heide armour, it had slipped my mind that Lenigrast was making it for me. That odd mix of 13th and 16th century armour styles.

The redhead helped me with it on; I had the choice of having the plate attached with voiders underneath rather than the full length arms and legs, along with a haubergeon. The other option was to go without the plate and wear a full hauberk with the mittens and mail hose. There was also a coat of plates I could wear over the mail.

There was then the helmets. The great helm I was used to seeing on the Heide knights, but the additional bascinet had me stumped.

Vexa solved that little conundrum for me. I was to wear both at the same time, the bascinet on first and the great helm over top.

In the end I went with the latter, the earlier Heide style. The last thing was a brand new surcoat, black and purple and covering in the black roses of my family coat of arms.

It felt good, comfortable and I had no bother moving about in it. As to be expected when armour is fitted properly.

Vexa smiled, "You look the part. Do you want to test it out and spar a bit? Vixen has my armour."

Physical exhaustion be damned, I felt renewed.

"As long as you don't strop if I win," I returned the smile.

Green eyes looked on happily and she tapped my nose, "Same goes for you, mister. There's a weapon and shield outside perfect for your armour. I found them just for you."

She then added, "And when I win, I have some more requests."

Vexa would have to win first.

The two of us left my billet, the guards throwing me odd looks.

"Is the old man here too?" I had a look around to see if I could Ornstein.

"He's ill. Your doctors say he had fluid on his lungs," Vexa frowned, "He was forbade to leave Majula until he gets better."

Not something I wanted to hear, but the old man was strong. He'd be back on his feet in no time.

Katie had travelled with the Kellantines, under their protection if I understood Vexa correctly. Where she was in camp I couldn't say, probably trying to find out what happened to von Strepp.

Vexa led me to the wagons they had travelled on, from it she pulled a spear and shield.

"I found them in Heide," She said, as she handed them over, "Your people have started to rebuild it, so that they don't have to live in the fortress any more. I think you'd like it."

As long as they hadn't fucked with the prog-rock album art look, I was fine.

It would be nice to see Heide looking less ruined, so we made it a plan to go visit after we'd taken Drangleic castle.

A date, as Vexa put it giddily.

We found the elder Kellantine minding his own business, sat on a large wooden chest.

He stood and embraced me.

"I see you're enjoying your new toys, sir," The brute joked, "Though I'm a little upset you didn't come to see me first. I've have this from our Gyrm friend."

Oh Gavlan, that beautiful Gyrm bastard; three barrels of the finest ale were sat behind the chest.

I looked to Vexa, "Well, we're set for tonight."

"Oh no," Vixen interjected, "I didn't have these carted here for you and my sister to get blind drunk."

I couldn't believe my ears, it's as if Vixen disapproved of myself and Vexa getting absolutely shit-faced.

"You do know what day it is?" His brow furrowed.

"Hence the wanting to drink, brother," I closed my eyes and took Vexa's hand in my mine, "I was going to do it alone with a bottle I've saved, but now I don't have to be a gloomy sod. You're sister won't allow that. Oh, and how is our guest?"

The brute grunted, "After ten months of daily beatings, he wants to die. We had to force him to drink his estus. As a special treat for him today, I left instructions for your provosts to break every bone in his arms and legs."

Oh! How deliciously brutal of the pursuer knight. Not exactly what I would do, but I had asked Vixen not to kill Luca's murderer.

As long as they didn't allow him to hollow, that's all that mattered.

"Anyway, Me and Vexa are going to spar. After that we can break out the ale," I released the redhead's hand, so that she could equip herself.

I had missed the damned ugly armour she wore, the dent in the breastplate still visible. She was still sporting it like a medal.

"You're not allowed to cheat and use your god powers, mister. If you do, you automatically forfeit the match," The redhead warned, with the waggling of her index finger, "And don't try to argue, because that also means you forfeit. Also, if you don't let me win, you forfeit the match."

I sighed and ran my gloved hand over my face, "What is it you want me to do? Seeing as no matter what I'm going to lose."

"I brought some of the princess' books. I would like you to read with me later," Vexa fixed her hair under her arming cap and lowered her helmet, "Now, no more talking. Fight me!"

The redhead brought her shield to bare and awaited my first move.

My main goal was to get past Vexa's shield and being in the lighter armour sort of meant I could move faster, get around her.

I managed to get several short jabs at the gaps in her armour and she knocked me on my backside once or twice.

We stopped play shortly after, growing more competitive and far more aggressive. There was little left of my shield.

Our supposedly playful bout came to it's climax; Vexa went in with a high strike which I stepped under and avoided the following blow from her shield, thrusting my spear at her now exposed helmet.

The spear caught her helm and forced it up, the sharpened edge cutting into her cheek. This was my final move.

Vexa swung her blade in anger, connecting with the top of my own helmet and I don't recall anything else.

Flat tops are good, but sugarloafs are better.

The concussive force had broken my neck, so I guess Vexa won.

I came about some hours later cradled in the arms of the redhead, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. The moment my own eyes opened she started to apologise.

I reached up and cupped her cheek, wiping a tear away and chuckled, "Remind me never to piss you off."  
She didn't appreciate the joke and her lip began to wobble.

"Hey hey," I rubbled small circles on her cheek with my thumb, "I'm fine, look you didn't kill me and you won, I'll do whatever you want tonight. Just the two of us, we'll can ditch your brother and do anything."

Vexa sniffed, "You're not angry?"

I reassured the woman I was not, accidents happen when things get heated and care isn't taken.

Propping myself up slowly, I pecked her lips and apologised for hurting her cheek.

My neck was sore and stiff, cracking as I rolled it this way and that. As with a loth of injuries, I've had many worse.

I tried to distract her, asking about the books she'd borrowed from Katie. There were three, all leather bound and decorated with gold leaf.

Poems and song, fairy tales, tales of chivalry, all wrapped up in finely illustrated pages.

Katie's favourites and now Vexa's.

Lying on the bed with the redhead curled up beside me, reading her new books had me forget my sorrows. Don was correct, why mope about Luca when I had Vexa.

I'm sure the blonde undead would kick my backside for being all doom and gloom.

We never did get round to opening those casks from Gavlan...the redhead didn't get around to it.

"Vexa" The brute's voice came through the door, "How is he?"

I shushed him, then told him to get his arse inside quietly.

Vexa had fallen asleep, her head resting against my thigh.

"She was distraught," Vix grabbed a stool, "Started begging your princess for forgiveness, when her highness came looking for you."

"What did Kat say?" I ran my fingers over Vexa's hair.

"That you would fine. A few bangs to the head won't damage anything, because there isn't anything to damage."

Yes, that sounded like Katie.

"Your sister was fine after a little cuddle and she calmed down quick enough when we started reading," With slight movements I managed to move Vexa without waking her and got off the bed.

As not to disturb her, me and Vixen took our conversation outside.

The brute too had picked up on our language, although he didn't need to as we could easily talk in Dranglein like we had done from the start.

We stopped by the casks and took one in the direction of the officer's tent. It was empty apart for Katie and viscount Akandra.

The princess had her feet up on the table and was puffing away on a fag. Markus was reading over some documents brought from Majula.

After a few minutes catch-up with the former, we asked her to join us.

I raised the first glass, "Here's to you and Vexa, brother. That you're both okay and to the old man, and that he returns to better health soon."

"That this war against Nashandra is over before the new year and we can start looking for a way home," Katie added.

"And that the curse on my homeland is ended," Vixen finished.

The three of us drank deeply.

The ale as always was beautiful, not too sweet and it had a lovely crisp malt flavour. One of the finest Gavlan had brewed.

The initial malt was followed up by an almost fruity note, like pear.

With a contented sigh, I joked, "Just what you need after having you're neck snapped."

"Oh, shut up," Kat slapped my arm, "You're acting like it hasn't happened before."

I looked to Vix, "You get a chance, ask Don about mine shaft ninety-three. If not that, the Coli'ek pit collapse."

Goodness, those were awful mine disasters and when it was discovered that I was shirking my responsibilities as emperor. The two thousand miners that died were of slightly more concern.

I was buried for three days, Don even longer.

"And before I forget," I slipped the pendant from around my neck, "Just us, Vix. Take hold of the chain."

On her birthday, her friend and her lover would drink to her memory.

Vix and I had a good laugh, telling Katie in great detail everything we could.

At the end I slumped down further on the chair and sighed, "Hell, I feel much better. Still would have preferred getting drunk with your sister though."

The brute grumbled and folded his arms, "If you must know, sir. I think you're a bad influence on Vexa and if you weren't my friend, I would have you break things off."

"You need to have words with her then, not I."

No matter what the redhead's done, it's always my fault in the eyes of Vixen.

I poured the brute another drink, "Thing is brother, I like Vexa and Vexa likes me. We're both adults and you are going to have to accept our relationship. Every part of it."

Vixen remained stone-faced.

I then asked Katie if she also disapproved of my and the lady Kellantine's relationship.

"I wasn't too sure at first either, "Katie exhaled cigar smoke, "Though even I'll admit she's interesting, even if she was driving me mad. I've never had a friend like her."

"Ah ha," I pointed, "So you do make friends with mortals. You shouldn't lie to me, Kat."

The Reaper clicked her tongue, "Perhaps and I want payment for 'babysitting' Vexa, and you know my services don't come cheap."

They never are.

"And what happens if I don't think you deserve paying?"

My oldest friend licked her lips, "I'll tell her all of your dirty little secrets."

Blackmail was it?

How underhanded?

How awful?

I'd taught her well.

Too bad that Vexa already knew my dirty little secrets, as she proclaimed sleepily, walking into the tent. She was sporting a major case of bed hair.

With another apology she sat down and then started to complain that we were drinking without her, and was even more upset to find out we weren't having any more that night.

Vexa wore the cutest little pout, it wasn't working.

"Tomorrow," I told her, we could always drink the next day. There was no answer I could give that would satiate her.

She ended up acting like a child, as she always did.

I made a pained groan and held my neck, "I don't think I could drink with this pain. Oh, it hurts so much!"

My acting left a lot to be desired, not that it was supposed to be convincing.

"Don't be mean," The redhead whined, "I said I was sorry."

I stood up from the table and walked round to Vexa, draping my arms over her shoulders. I blew gently on her ear.

In return Vexa swatted at me with her hand and fought back a yawn.

"I think we should go to bed?" I suggested in a whisper, "It's back to work tomorrow. Let's use the time we have left today wisely."

She smiled and took my hand as I helped her up.

Akandra looked over, informing me that there was a meeting for all officers first thing in the morning that he wanted me present for, then wished both me and my mistress a goodnight.

Katie followed in similar suit and the two of us turned to Vixen.

"Goodnight, Vixen," We both said sweetly and made our exit, before the brute could raise any objections.

Once we were out of earshot Vexa started to laugh, "That was cruel and fun, but I didn't particularly like you in my head telling me what to do."

"Well, I could just say 'let's torment your brother' in the open, could I?" I looked up at the sky, feeling a chill in the air, "I don't think he's ever going to approve."

Vexa shook her head, "Sod my brother. I don't care."

We never actually did anything except cuddle up under the covers, hoping that we wouldn't be separated for another eight and a half months.

And as I watched her sleeping face, I wondered if I would fall in love with her like I had with Luca.

I never managed sleep, but I didn't care.

Dawn's first light broke through the window, a gentle breeze drawn in with it.

It was going to be a nice day, the first day of winter.

Vexa started to stir, green eyes flickering open.

"Morning," I parted her fringe and kissed her forehead.

She frowned and pulled the blankets further up, "Why is the window open? It's freezing in here."

It wasn't even cool in the room.

"Don't be overdramatic and it's because I like the fresh air," I held my nose, "Since you've returned, it's gotten awfully stuffy in here."

Vexa punched my shoulder, "You're being very rude to a lady, and don't you try and blame your feet on me."

"You, my love, are no lady and you're very cheeky this morning," I reached over her and pulled the window shut.

"Give cheek, receive cheek," The redhead smiled, "How's your neck?"

"Fine, as long as no overzealous gingers break it again," I teased, getting nice and close.

"I'm not ginger," She whined, "My hair is red. Red!"

"Who said I was talking about you?" Around my finger I wound some of her hair, "And for every strand of flaming red, there has to be at least three ginger. I hate to break it to you, but you're a ginger."

A familiar pout returned when she realised I hadn't stopped taking the piss. A play fight ensued, all whilst on the bed.

It almost made me forget we were at war with her people and the curse blighting the land.

I ended the battle with a brutal assault to her midriff with my fingers dancing up and down her skin, a roaring laughter elicited.

"No, stop," Vexa pleaded, "You never play fair!"

Of course not, that would mean loosing and that just wasn't allowed.

She swore to get me back, it wouldn't be then though. We were interrupted and I had to go to meeting of officers.

The tent was rammed, something big no doubt.

Akandra cleared his throat when we had all arrived, "As you all know gentlemen, the man next to me is the lord Kellantine, and next him lord Drummond of the Dranglein army."

He was an older gentleman and the spit of his father, the one I had killed in the past.

"The Volgen threat is behind us, but Drangleic castle is before us and as his majesty has pointed out, we need to take it and the enemy queen," Akandra continued, "We have an idea. It's high risk, but seeing as there is little way to take the castle, we're going to attempt to take it frontally."

I let that all sink in, as we all did, and then wondered if the dandy cunt had gone insane. To take Drangleic castle from the front was suicide and I didn't want to think of the butcher's bill.

It's safe to say that there were plenty of objections.

Markus raised his hand, silencing all of us.

"Before daybreak we received our bombard from Majula. With the aid of the remaining Dranglein army, we think it is possible to get the bombard close enough to the main gate and blow it open," He turned to the two Drangleins, "I am led to believe that there are only two ways into the castle and that the only access to the main entrance is a bridge. Is there a way that the remaining castle defenders can drop the bridge?"

Both Drummond and the brute said the same thing, no, but we would need to get past the primal knights.

Then there were the defenders on the walls.

Whilst the two were explaining the obvious, I was wondering what a bombard was and how that would in anyway help lessen the expected casualties.

"It's a very big cannon, John," Katie whispered in my ear, "A siege gun. The one we brought fires a nine-hundred pound ball."

I wanted to see this monster. I mean since, I have seen plenty of bombards. I witnessed Mons Meg fire. I was also a Roxburgh when the lion detonated, killing James II of Scotland.

Bombards aren't exactly my favourite.

Then however, bombards were new and exciting.

"They did something similar at Douner'rek castle. Jammed three cannon against the main gate and blew it open," She explained, "Blowing up the cannon too, but that's neither here nor there."

I'm pretty sure that your cannon blowing up is of slight concern and if I recalled Douner'rek castle had three gatehouses, so destroying three cannon for one gate didn't seem worth it.

Drangleic only had the one, but could we get it to the door?

I voiced my concerns.

Akandra started to squirm, "Your majesty is unlikely to agree, but we need to give you over."

Warning bells started ringing.

"We only mean to make it look like we're giving it over," The viscount corrected, "With the help of lord Drummond's men. Our engineers are already working on a means to disguise the bombard."

I still didn't like it.

"Are you sure there are no other ways into the castle?" I asked Vixen, who shook his head.

"Your majesty can hand pick the men that you wish to go with you," Lord Bannier suggested, speaking up above Akandra.

That didn't make me feel any better either.

A few swears under my breath later I agreed, "But what happens if this fails?"

"You've been inside. Shadow-dance and get the doors open," Akandra looked down at his maps, "We will be ready behind you either way."

Before I left to pick my men, I told Akandra he was insane and this wasn't going to work. He smiled politely and dismissed everyone.

Three days to prepare wasn't much time, who did I take with me?

Don, of course.

A sergeant from the company of baron von Claun, who we all lovingly refer to as Whiplash. None of us have a clue about what his real name is, he still refuses to tell us.

The others I would have to think about.

I caught up with my love gawking at the bombard, a state that I also ended in.

To say it was massive would be an understatement, the amount of metal put into building it must have been astronomical.

"You would have thought I would have seen something like this," She said absently, "Do you think I could fit inside?"

"Please don't try, Vexa. I'm not delegating men to help get your fat arse out, if you get stuck," I looked at the muzzle and wondered if she could.

The redhead didn't take too kindly to my calling her posterior large and in a very childish move, she bumped my hard with her hip.

"We could always put a powder charge down first and then if you do get stuck, boom! Would you like to fly, my love?"

"No," She replied, "But if I did, I'd aim to land on you."

No doubt in that.

"Because you know I would catch you?" I moved closer.

"Because you're a soft target," She answered with a smirk, "And as you have proven, you can't die. So I think you could handle me dropping in."

I made a few more unwise jokes about her weight or at least her weighing more than me, which earned my a few punches to the arms. They started off as playful and devolved into full on punches.

The engineers asked that we leave the bombard so that they could start work disguising it, we were in the way.

Vexa went off in a huff and I went for a walk, to clear my head and have a better think about who I wanted with me.

Slowly the names came to me.

Vixen caught up with me, "Sir, can I have a word?"

I nodded, "You want to voice you're concern over breaching Drangleic castle?"

"Did you call my sister fat?" The brute ignored me, "Because I've told you what I would do if you ever upset my sister."

I never said she was fat!

I hadn't said anything close to that.

This was her getting me back for loosing the battle that morning, she wasn't upset at all.

Without looking obvious I started to back away.

"She's lying to you, Vixen," I yelled behind me, running at full tilt.

In the corner of my eye I spotted Vexa, she was holding her stomach laughing. In an instant she switched from laughter to tears as her brother passed by.

She could consider the bed off limits to her until such a time I had forgiven her.

I made my escape into the make-shift gaol at the centre of Kholerkine.

"Who did you piss off this time?"

I pulled out both a flame butterfly and a fag, "I don't see how that's any of your business, Marius."

"I live through gossip these days, Johan. Humour me," von Strepp sat cross-legged, hand holding his chin.

"Sir Kellantine, on behalf of the lady Kellantine."

von Strepp raised an eyebrow.

"Your who-" Stopping himself, "Mistress' brother. I take it she's here too?"

I didn't answer, not trying to be impolite. Something had come to me.

"Would you like to get out of here?"

"You're taking the piss," He replied.

I wasn't.

Who better to hand me over to Nashandra?

"If we're going to get anywhere close to the front door of the castle, it's going to need to look convincing," I explained Akandra's plan, "Tell her you overthrew me and present me as an offering of peace."

The ex-commander of the Erebayan forces started to massage his temples.

"He's aware that we failed to take Douner'rek," The man fumed, "How many men do we have left here?"

"Eighteen thousand," There or there about, "And we're loosing more every week from disease, desertion and undead. Something drastic needs to happen or we're going to lose them all."

We needed to take that castle and end the war.

"I want my sentence commuted and my titles returned."

I had already guessed his demands, but I would only do so if we were successful.

I ordered the provost to get him fed and ready to move.

My next goal was to make it back to my billet without bumping into the brute, who I feared was still out to rip my limbs off.

Vixen was no-where to be seen, which set my heart at ease. Vexa however was waiting for me, blanket pulled all the way up to her neck.

I had this horrible feeling she was wearing nothing underneath.

"Oh no," I threw my hands up, "If you think we're going to mess about after you sent your brother to kill me, think again."

I also felt it was too early in the day.

"Shouldn't have called me fat then," Vexa looked on smugly.

"I said you were heavy, not fat. There is quite the difference," I tried to clarify, knowing full well Vexa was already going to do anything to get one over on me.

The lengths she would go to…

I wasn't in anyway annoyed and found myself laughing, like she had been earlier and came to answer the question I had asked myself the night before.

"Vexa," I smiled.

"Yes?"  
"I love you."

By the way her eyes widened, mouth hung open and cheeks flushed crimson, I don't think she was expecting that confession.

It was the final step for me to get over Luca, at least that's what I keep telling myself and I can't really fault the results.

With a squeal, started working again and she pulled me under the covers with her. I don't need to explain what happened next.

"Did you mean it?" She asked, her head resting on my chest.

"Of course. I'm not going to miss the chance to tell you," I pressed my lips to the top of her head, "I love you, Vexa Kellantine."

She giggled happily and grinned madly.

"It's not getting you out of calling me fat though, mister," The redhead closed her eyes.

"Alright, I'm sorry I made jokes about your weight. It was cruel and insensitive of me, I hope you can find it in your big heart to forgive me?"

"No," She opened her eyes and moved to peck the tip of my nose, "Say it again."

Vexa then rocked over and held herself up, using her arms, over me.

"You're pushing your luck," I used the back of my hand to stroke her cheek, "And I don't want to wear it out. There's only so many times I can say it, without it loosing all meaning."

"Prove it to me," Her words carried a serious tone, "I've had plenty of men claim their love for me, but not one could prove it."

That was a yorker if ever I saw one and something I was going to have to think quickly if I was going to hit a six.

"Would you like to be like me?" I looked her straight in the eyes, "Be the same as me?"

I went _naked_ and said it again.

It was something that I was going to extend to Vixen anyway; Vexa was also very much included.

If only the process was a nice one.

Simple yes, but it involves ripping the soul out and that I've been informed is incredibly painful. It also takes so much energy out of me that I'm rendered useless for hours or even days.

Though for the Kellantine siblings, I felt it was worth it.

" _You'd be immortal_ _and,_ _and, and,_ " I started to trip over my words, because I didn't want to say 'I won't loose you like I did Lucatiel' or something else sappy. I needed something that was just as true, but not as cliché.

Vexa hushed me and placed a finger on my none-existent lips.

"Not another word, mister. I believe you," She followed by pursing her lips and kissing me. There was an immediate flinch and she pulled back, "Could you turn back? That felt wrong."

"It's almost like you've never kissed a mass of sentient nothing before," I teased the moment I went back to looking human, wrapping my arms around her.

The gap between me and her closed, as she lowered herself down.

I had to stop her though.

"Your brother's been waiting outside, by the way. He's been out there about half an hour," I could smell and hear him.

The brute had been hesitating off and on, unsure if he should knock or open the door without.

"Is he going to be angry or embarrassed, I wonder?"

"Why not both?" The redhead craned her neck to look at the door, "Let's see what he wants. Vixen, stop listening in and get in here, you creep."

Silence.

On the other side, the brute cleared his throat, "Are you two at least clothed?"

Partially, and it was a mad scramble to get them back on.

When he opened the door, we were both on top of the covers and fully clothed. It was if nothing had ever happened.

"Is there something you need, sir Kellantine," I went with the formal address, only to make it that little bit more uncomfortable.

He stood wringing his hands.

I asked him how much he had heard, that being just about everything.

"The princess is looking for you, sir," He failed to meet my gaze, "But before that...I still don't approve, but if you really love my sister I won't say any more on the matter."

He didn't, at least not for a long time after.

He did however pull me to one side and give me a through going over what her would do to me if I ever broke her heart. I was left wondering if he wasn't really her brother and actually her father, going on like that might confuse people.

I told him to stop being as overprotective, as Vexa was an adult, even if she hardly acted as such. It was up to her who she was partnered with.

That all out of the way, I gather the men I had chosen to assault the castle with.

Thirty in total, including myself, Don and von Strepp.

The thirty private soldiers were all familiar with guns and were all outfitted with wheellock carbines from the harquebusier units.

Von Strepp refused the long arms, insisting on only using a pistol and sword.

"It's going to be tight, really tight, but all we need to do is get inside and hold the entrance. Make sure the rest of the army can follow," I had Don hold up my sketch of the castle's layout up and started to point out key areas.

"And if things go awry, as I think they might, it's our job to defend the gunner until we get close enough to fire the bombard."

An easy job and in no way insane.

Unlike the last time, the Kellantines were going to come with us, but as part of the secondary force assaulting the castle. I really hoped neither of them died before I got the chance to change them.

We, the forlorn hope, left before dawn and at a crawl. It took a full team of local plough horses to pull the disguised bombard, now looking like a supply waggon.

Each Erebayan soldier, apart from myself and von Strepp, were wearing the gear of the Dranglein army.

I was given some filthy clothes and was cuffed in irons. I was allowed to keep my hat with the feather in it though, wasn't giving that up.

Drummond Jr was leading on his own horse, von Strepp behind him holding onto a length of rope attached to my irons.

It took time, but we eventually returned to the familiar rotunda. We didn't go in, but around as that was where the wagon way lay.

That was a much nicer route to take, though we still would have needed Shanalotte to open the first gate, as both paths met up at the base of the mountain.

Thankfully this time the magically sealed gate was open, but not unguarded. Dranglein loyalists watched on, most of them with crossbows at the ready.

The captain of the gate spoke with Drummond Jr, looking over at me several times throughout. The officer waved von Strepp over, who yanked on the rope and pulled me forward.

He was enjoying this far too much, the bastard had done me over as well.

Split lips, black eye, corker of a bruise on my cheek.

I put up a fight and refused to budge, that was when Marius pulled the pistol from his belt and whipped me with it.

Once more my nose was broken and I spat blood.

I'm aware that it needed to look convincing, but damn it he was going over the top.

Traitorous bastard!

One of the Dranglein loyalists chuckled under his helm and added to the injury, throwing a punch into my gut.

He was reprimanded by the gate captain and from what I overheard was due to Nashandra wanting me unharmed.

I was roughly dragged to my feet and I found that the first distraction had worked.

The gate captain wasn't even aware of the Dranglein soldiers with us slitting the throats of the loyalists. He only noticed when his own neck started to pour a river.

On we went, our men taking the places of the dead guards at the open magic gate.

Thing ground the a halt with the ascent, the horses were struggling to pull the bombard. Even with human help, the cannon moved glacially.

I should be thankful however that it wasn't raining.

The first time I went to Drangleic castle it took four days to reach, this took us a week to get the disguised bombard to the stairway.

Luckily from there things got easier.

The mastodon primal knights took over from the horses, unwilling now to drag the siege piece towards the main door.

Drummond Jr and von Strepp began to spew bullshit to the guards, whilst the gunner on the inside primed the bombard and lit his match.

The two guards we less interested in myself, but in the waggon.

We gave them a demonstration.

A latch was hit and the facade fell away; the bombard with deafening thunder. discharged it's nine-hundred pound stone ball.

We lost the siege gun due to it's massive recoil pushing it back and over the edge, taking with it one of the primal knights. The other was knocked flat, unmoving.

The gunner had jumped clear the second match touched priming powder, so he avoided a horrid death.

The two guards that had been standing before the piece though were no more than paste, the door splinted.

Anyone behind it was dead or full of wooden shards.

The shock of the firing wore off and I was freed of my irons, Don throwing over the carbine and a cartouche.

Behind us the Dranglein rebels fought off the remaining primal knights and we Erebayans pushed into the castle. The main force wasn't far behind, a mile at most.

Dranglein loyalists were already trying to bar our access, a burst of musket fire put down their efforts.

We were in.

I hid myself behind a pillar and reloaded, the task much simpler with the cavalry's paper cartridges, like the ones I had experimented with in Eleum Loyce.

Better than having 12 bombs strapped to yourself anyway

The wheellock was still a pain, having to wind the spring every time I needed to fire.

With another ball seated in the gun, I popped around the side of the pillar to see a group of Syan knights advancing.

"On the left, on the left," I called out and fired on the lead knight.

Whiplash shot the second, another downing the third.

The entrance hall was becoming thick with powder smoke and the cries of the wounded.

"Sergeant," I shouted over the noise, "Keep pushing forward. We need full control of this room and it's doors. Hold it until the main force gets here and then follow us."

"Yes sir!" He yelled back.

I left Marius in overall command of the twenty, whilst I took the other ten.

We skirted past the last of the Syan knights and I was trying to think where Nashandra would be, hopefully not running out the back.

The main goal however was to control the throne of want, which according to Shalquoir was below the castle. I had an idea of where.

We had to go up and then back down, past the queen's private quarters and her personal throne room. There was only light resistance, until we hit the treasury.

A spear-like arrow whistled through the open door, killing the man in front of me instantly.

Nashandra's two dragon riders were waiting. One elevated with a great bow and the other on the ground with it's halberd at the ready.

There could have been more Dranglein loyalists, but in my haste I only saw the two.

"Donald, pop the bastard on the ledge. We'll take the one on the floor," I snatched a helmet off one of the soldiers and placed it over the muzzle of my wheellock.

This had worked in Venn, why wouldn't it work now?

As I expected, the helmet was snatched away by the arrow.

Don rushed passed me and dropped to a single knee, steadying his weapon against his shoulder and fired.

The rest of us fired over the earl of Andron into the second.

At first I though the dragon rider's armour was too thick for the muskets to penetrate, but the blood that soon ran from two holes in it's breastplate and from under it's visor proved me wrong.

The elevated dragon rider fell in an undignified heap close by, a hole punched through the breaths in it's helm.

"One hell of a shot, Don. 'specially at that distance," I clapped the earl on the back.

"I keep telling you, old boy, this one of mine is rifled," He set about loading, mallet already in hand to seat the ball.

Amazing what Don can do when he's in the grove…

Sad thing is I actually snapped my fingers after writing that; the dad jokes are only getting worse with age. The only thing worse is that Katie laughs at them and I'm not sure if it's to humour me or she genuinely finds them funny.

That's a lie, I know exactly why.

Suppose I need to have a word with her…

Sorry, right, we've just punched our way through Nashandra's muscle and I had a hard time pulling the men away from the copious amounts of gold littering the room.

Above the muffled cracks of other muskets could be heard, firing on mass. The rest of the army was in.

"Leave them," Don pulled me along, "We go after that throne."

I nodded, taking a pistol from the closest man and slotting it in my belt. If you couldn't load multiple shots in your gun, take multiple guns.

It was hot, rivulets of sweat running down my brow.

Eyes were stinging from the smoke and ears pounding from gunfire inside.

None of that registered though, for all the pent up frustration and anger I had been feeling was all bubbling up.

"If she's there, don't kill her outright. I want that pleasure," Someone jumped out before us and caught the butt of my carbine with their skull.

Several heavy blows were delivered before I came to see it was only a servant, I didn't care though. If they were standing in the way, they could fall like the castle's defenders.

The king's door soon appeared, unopened. That meant she couldn't be inside, not without the ring which was in my possession.

It did mean we could take it without force.

The ring was not so smoothly forced into the corresponding hole and the door unlocked painfully slow.

The door opened into a cavern, pitch black and stinking of damp.

The path was narrow and slick with the run off of underground streams.

And in the centre was a natural looking dome. Whatever it was hiding was locked up behind another door, with no obvious keyhole.

I felt compelled to reach out and touch it.

I was yanked back before I could and was dragged some distance.

The earl had spotted the two defenders, an older looking man and woman. Both twirled their swords like they were dancing, running straight for us and we shot them dead.

Had Vendrick left those two in the cavern?

His last line of defence against Nashandra?

It didn't matter, they stood in my way.

With them dead I returned to the door, hand outstretch and as I made contact it felt like a spark jumped from my finger tips.

The giant's blessing left me and the whole rock face lit up with an electric blue spiderweb crack pattern. The whole structure looked fit to collapse.

I looked to Don, then down to my cartouche. I was still good on cartridges, removing one and biting the bullet.

My mouth was flooded with the salty bitterness once more, I needed a drink desperately. My mouth was so dry.

"We've got people coming," Don warned.

Their footsteps already betrayed them.

The door to the throne opened and we backed in, eyes on the path back to the castle proper.

"Room's empty. You ready to kill as many as we can?" I glanced sidelong at the earl.

"They could be ours," He lowered the dog and pulled the wheellock tight to his shoulder, "But yes, I'm more than ready."

The first Dranglein loyalist barrelled down the path, my musket being the one to knock him down. The second was dropped a second later by Don, a spray of blood coating a close by stalactite.

No more.

"Was that all?"

Perfume caught my nose, sweet and overwhelming. Worse than the blood and smoke.

My friend could smell it too.

Polite laughter followed the perfume in filling the room.

" _My_ brave sir," Nashandra laughed, "All you had to do was give yourself to me, there would have been no need for this bloodshed."

Myself and Don stayed quiet.

"You do upset me, sir," She continued to speak when she got no response, "You are as rude as ever and what is more, you destroy my beautiful castle. I have also yet to forgive you for causing me harm, nor the murder of our dear chancellor Spenner. I am willing to forgive you, if you lay down your arms, call off your men and give yourself to me."

I was already biting into another cartridge, wondering if I should reply with words or gunfire.

"I'm willing fuck and forgive, if you are?" I spoke aloud. Don mouthing back 'fuck and forgive' with a shake of his head.

I then realised that I just shouted at Nashandra in Erebayan, so I repeated it in Dranglein.

There was an audible scoff.

"How many times must I tell you that your comments do not amuse me, sir," She spoke calmly, with an almost playful tone laced within.

"Come on Nashandra, I've put on such a spectacle for you. Why don't we drop this farce and retire to you bedchamber?" I put forth, "We can negotiate all night long."

Silence.

I looked to the earl and the earl to me.

"Do you smell her? Because I can't smell her perfume any more," My eyes darted to every possible part of the cavern that was in my view.

"I smell you, I smell the dead, but I don't smell anything else. She has to be here somewhere, people can't throw their voices like that."

I was inclined to agree with the statement.

We backed further into the chamber of the throne, eyes always on the door.

"I must respectfully decline, _my_ dear sir. How would it look to what remains of my subjects, if I were to bed the man that wants me dead?"

"They would think you benevolent and merciful. A mask that would suit such a beautiful face," The atmosphere was heavy and I still had no idea where she was; keeping her talking seemed like a good idea.

Silence reigned for three minutes before Nashandra spoke again.

"Backed into a corner and now you resort to flattery, you do offend me, sir," She feigned hurt, "Pray tell, where has your caustic tongue gotten to?"

If the lady requests…

"I think you're a two faced whore, Nashandra. A two faced whore that cannot fuck for shit," I went on the offensive, "Is that why he left you? Worthless fucking queen! It's not because you're a lying manipulative wretch, who steals children, who thinks she is deserving of this throne when she doesn't. Not that, you just couldn't keep Vendrick satisfied. See, that's why I'm replacing you with the lady Vexa Kellantine."

" _My_ brave sir, you think yourself clever in trying to anger me. I know your ways and in these last months have prepared myself," Her voice was louder and the smell of perfume had come back.

There was still no sight of her, I turned back towards the throne of want to scan the inner chamber.

"Oh, have you put on that nice dress? The one you wore to dinner," I loved that dress, just not on her. The thoughts of Vexa in it had me had me on edge, the thought of Nashandra killed that mood.

"Come on my love, won't you show yourself? You've prepared yourself for me. Why don't we become one?"

Another glance to Don and he shook his head, still no Nashandra in sight.

" _My_ brave sir, I do so hope you are ready to become one with the dark?"

I told Don to go _naked_ , I following.

" _We already are,_ " I still held onto my wheellock, " _And now I'm tired of these games._ _We've dragged this out far too long._ "

"Yes," The queen agreed, her tall silhouetted form appeared at the end of the pathway.

Instantly we gave fire, both landing what we though were good shots. She was still standing, though with a belly full of lead shouldn't have been.

Only one shot had put her down the last time, was she wearing armour thicker than Vexa's?

That couldn't be though, her silhouette was too thin.

Her silhouette was equally odd; as you know dear reader, we Erebayans can see perfectly in the dark. Nashandra should have been as clear as day before us, but her whole body was blacked-out.

The queen started to walk forward, laughing as she did.

"My knowledge of your weaponry is limited, but I know that they can only be used once before having to be set up again. Ample time for me to deal with you," Nashandra stepped into the silvery light trickling into the cavern, revealing her now chosen form.

Lithe and skeletal, cloaked in a black haze not that dissimilar to our _naked_ form.

Resting gently in her bony fingers was the shaft of a scythe, one of the most useless weapons you could choose. If you're going to pick a farming implement at least go for the pitchfork, it's basically a spear, sort of.

The two of us had already gone back to looking normal and were frantically trying to reload, the queen had already closed the gap.

With a hard swing, Nashandra knocked Don to the floor and turned towards me. I had rushed the load and fired, not having removed the ramrod.

The rod and ball did nothing but graze the queen, angering her.

She crossed the chamber floor with long graceful steps, silent as death, of which she looked the stereotype.

Her long fingers closed round my throat and I was hoisted into the air, dropping my wheellock carbine in the process.

I could have shadow-danced to escape her grip, but I didn't need to.

Nashandra effortlessly raised me to eye level, not that she had eyes only empty sockets and spoke to me with her lipless mouth.

" _My_ brave sir, you have made me ever so angry. Defiance was unwise," Orbs of dark magic flashed into existence around the queen, "All you had to do was give yourself to me and this all would have been avoided. An age of dark is all I want, the flame needs to die and with you in my possession I have the key."

The skull of her face faded and I was looking at the Nashandra I had come to know and despised. She was wearing a cruel grin.

"If you were to give up this folly and join with me, I would have forgiven you," The blunt side of the scythe blade was used to caress my cheek, "My poor back still aches from your assassination attempt all those months ago. All that time I have dreamt of how to repay you and now you will have lot's of time to find out."

No, I wouldn't.

Don had finished loading, ramming the ball home through the almost crippling amount of fouling that had built up in the barrel.

The earl set up his shot and I pulled the pistol from my belt, jamming the muzzle into the queen's tummy.

"I think I'd like another shot."

Don fired first, the second he did so I squeezed the trigger; Nashandra's face went from cruel to a shocked realisation.

Nashandra's skeletal form shattered and she dropped to her knees, letting go of me.

The entrance of chamber was now swarming with our arquebusiers and harquebusiers, guns all pointed at the fallen queen. I raised a hand and they lowered their weapons.

It didn't seem as if any of the bullets had wounded her or they had done very little, the white dress she wore over her human form was speckled with tiny flecks of red.

Her head twisted this way and that, looking from the throne of want, to me and to every man now crowding the chamber under the castle. The tears welling at the corner of her eyes were real, unlike the countless crocodiles that had fell before.

We had beaten the creature that gave off strength on the outside and had revealed the pathetic human wretch underneath.

"A pistol, if one of you would be so kind," I held out my hand, it open and waiting to accept the gun.

A lower officer ran over, dropping another wheellock into my grip, already loaded and waiting to fire, and it was aimed squarely at Nashandra.

I lowered the piece, taking a step towards the queen and taking a good handful of her platinum-blonde hair, yanking her head back so that she was looking up at me.

"I don't care about this throne or what it does. I don't care about this land or it's people, the poxy curse on them both. I don't care about your age of dark. All I do care about is you dead, by my hands, because I want to see justice for those children you stole and tortured, and murdered. For what? A lump of rock shaped like a seat," I released her hair and raised the pistol again, "I've wanted to kill you from the moment I first saw you, you're just not right."

I squeezed the trigger and the gun cough pathetically. The powder was bad or it was damp, one of the two. The main charge had failed to discharge.

All the same Nashandra flinched and fell back; the pathetic human-thing had fainted and judging by the smell, had done something else.

I looked at her in disgust, backing away.

"Get her cleaned up and into a cell," I ordered the closest two private soldiers, "I'll deal with her at another point. A simple execution isn't good enough."

I turned to the rest of the men gathered and announced, "Any and all musical instruments in this castle are mine, you may share amongst you everything else. If anyone stands in your way, kill them, though any cases of rape will be dealt with death on the spot. The provosts are already in the castle, you have been warned."

The mad stampede began with a wild cheer, but I wasn't feeling it. I had to sit down and compose myself, then have a shout at the remaining officer to go and monitor their rampaging men.

Don sat next to me, using his rifle as a rest.

"One down, now for Aldia and the curse to be destroyed," I mumbled absently, staring at the throne.

"Let's just secure the region first, then we can worry about everything else," Don took a deep breath and grimace, "Bitch broke four of my ribs and collapsed a lung. A great time for MBF."

"Closest surgeon's Kholerkine."

"I don't want a fucking surgeon, I want a drink," He forcefully sighed, "At least we get to rest for awhile."

A little while, yes.

"What you need is your woman, too bad Ingreet isn't here," I smirked, already spotting the Kellantines out the corner of my eye, "Now if you will excuse me, I feel like finding somewhere quiet and make love to my mistress until I forget who, what and where I am. You can distract her brother."

I found it difficult to stand, forcing myself up.

To Vexa I said nothing, only taking her hand and heading back up into the castle.

Every hall and corridor echoed gunfire and screams, dead servants were intermingled with the Dranglein loyalists. The floors and carpets were slick with blood.

We past one room in which my men were executing kneeling Dranglein soldiers, some were pleading desperately for their lives, others were crying silently and one was swearing.

We didn't see the act, but we heard it.

Vexa didn't much like what we were doing. I told her to ignore it, we had to let out our frustrations somehow.

The door to the queen's private chamber was ajar and the sound of activity could be heard from within. Five men, including von Strepp's bastard were rifling through every chest and cabinet.

"Out!" I didn't have the patients left to be nice and quickly told one of them to stand guard outside.

The bed was untouched, so I took a seat and stared at nothing.

"Look, Jonathon," Vexa sat next to me, the bed creaking under the weight of her armour, "I don't want to do this, not now and not with all of this bloodshed going on around us...bloodshed that you've allowed."

"Were you thinking we gods were going to be better than you?" I kicked my boots free, "We were assaulting the castle, not passing as foreign dignitaries. We're all sick of this and I'm not denying them their blood."

The room felt cold and Vexa was giving me a funny look. To her we were needlessly killing and she didn't understand why we weren't just taking her countrymen prisoner.

I removed the spent gun from my belt and pointed it at the redhead, "You're Dranglein too, you don't get a say."

Vexa slapped the barrel of the pistol away and bared her teeth, "Don't even dare joke."

"I couldn't do it anyway, you'd come back as a vengeful spirit and then I'd never get rid of you," I threw the gun across the room, letting it clatter noisily against the hard stone floor.

"You're damn right I'd haunt you," She pushed my shoulder, "You can't proclaim your love for me and then try to kill me."

I took her gauntleted hand in mine an apologised.

The atmosphere grew awkward quickly.

"I know this isn't comfortable for you, but you threw your lot in with us," I thought hit me, "Get you're armour off and lay down on the bed."

Vexa stood defiantly, "I told you no!"

"I don't want sex," There was little energy in my delivery, "I told you I would make you like me and it's going to be nicer for you if you're not in armour."

The redhead's eyes turned watery and she lunged, crushing me in an embrace, "You meant it? You actually meant it."

I had, but I wasn't going to be able to fulfil the promise the way I was.

"Vex, you know I love you and your hugs," I wheezed, "But I need to be able to breath."

She only tightened her grip on me. Sometime later I managed to pry her from me and she from her armour.

I had the guard come inside to watch over us.

"I'll see you when you wake up," I pressed my lips to hers, "And I'm sorry, this is going to hurt a lot."

I haven't quite forgotten her screams.

* * *

 **Here we are again, I hope you're all doing well.  
** { **Insert something about Christmas here and pretend I wasn't sick of it months ago** }  
 **Should have the next part written up by the middle of next month and I shall keep reminding myself that this is a fan fiction about Dark Souls, even as this story drifts further and further away from it. Don't worry, editing will start soon.  
** **Anyway, I do hope you've enjoyed this mess.**  
 **Until Next time,  
Goodbye.**


	22. Remaining Business

Every day Vexa remained unconscious I was by her side, my hands firmly holding hers.

A few hours into the conversion Vixen had come barrelling in, finding his sister screaming in agony and I the cause.

He tried to pull me away and was stopped by the lone guard in the room. How he stopped the brute was beyond me, but he did and managed to calm Vix down, explaining what was going on and why it was very dangerous to interrupt.

Reluctantly Vixen agreed to leave me be to conduct the rest of the conversion in peace. The condition being that he was to be informed immediately upon her waking.

Vexa only stopped screaming due to passing out, the silence wasn't making me feel better.

There was no telling how long she'd be under; even after I had finished she was unmoving, breathing very lightly.

I couldn't bring myself to eat or sleep. Vexa was the first one I'd ever seen take bad to the conversion, not even her brother reacted like that.

Even the carnage going on outside was of little concern, only Vexa.

"Come on honey, open your eyes for me," I ran my fingers through her hair, "I'll tell you I love you as much as you want and I'll do whatever you want, as many requests as you can think of."

The corners of her lips were pulled upwards and her eyes slowly opened, and I realised my mistake.

The redhead had been awake a good few minutes before my pleading had started.

Weakly she spoke, "No take backs, mister. Go on and say it?"

"I love you and damn it, you had me frightened!" I felt a tear go, "I didn't think you were going to wake up. Vixen was only out for a single day."

Three weeks.

Three very long weeks.

"But now I see you're more than alright, I retract the promises I made in the last ten minutes," I sniffed and wiped away the tear.

Vexa pouted, "Nu-uh, I said no take-backs. I want you to treat me like the princess I know I am."

Her nose wrinkled and she brought her free hand up to block it. She looked to me, my feet (Cheeky bitch), then to the fire and finally back to me.

"Why does everything stink?" Vexa sounded nasally, nose fully pinched.

"Because your nose has changed and you're not allowed to complain, I had to put up with your bloody bum," Whatever unhappy mood I had been in was gone and I began to tease, "Did you not ever wonder why I went to sleep next to you in a plague doctor's mask? I had thought of jamming a cork up there, but knowing you, you'd like it."

"Hey!" She protested, "Don't be mean. You're not allowed to be mean after putting me through that."

The redhead and I then started laughing.

"I can't treat you like a princess though," And before she could frown, I continued, "I can treat you like a queen however. Drangleic is without and I am in need. I think you might fit the role quite well."

Of course she accepted.

Yes we never married, but we were acting like we were.

Hell, she even took my last name. The whole thing she would take the piss out of me saying, even if I don't know why me saying 'Fexa fon Bayah' is funny.

I mean I could take the piss out of her accent and pronunciation, but I don't.

Anyway, for the rest of that day, the bed was our kingdom and no one was dislodging us. That was until I had drink brought to us. We were found absolutely plastered in one of the baths.

Vix was in a bit of a fettle, because I hadn't informed him that his little sister was finally awake and that the first thing we did was get drunk.

The following day was similar, except we were dying in each other's arm as opposed to drinking.

All was back to normal, even though the curse was still unvanquished and we hadn't a way home, and that Drangleic was now politically unstable etc. so on and so forth.

Work started in full with the repairing the castle and I waited for our guests from Majula. I wanted them to be present for the true monarch to sit the throne.

Most of the days waiting were spent in the throne room listening to various complaints from the nobles, and planning our next steps.

This was the part of being emperor I hated, thankfully I had Vexa to distract me. This was to an almost annoying degree.

She was sat on my knee and humming tunelessly in my ear, when Shanalotte and Shalquoir were brought in.

The emerald herald looked as happy as usual. The ball of fluff on the other hand was more than happy to see me and took her place on Vexa's lap, seeing as she was on mine.

"Good gods, both of you reek of alcohol!" The herald exclaimed.

"I needed it to get through these sessions," I tried to defend myself, "And she sort of joined in. Anyway, It's nice to see you well."

"Oh shove it, thanks to you I have even more undead to look after," Shanalotte scowled.

Yeah, so around 40% of all the people we killed during the war came back as undead, most of which ended up filtering into Majula.

I didn't really think it was my fault and it was her job anyway to look after them.

"Well then, we should rectify your little problem then. Your escort also ferried another, my guest who shall ascend the throne," I couldn't wait to see the fellow, "I do hope he put up a fight. Wish I could have been there to see it happen."

"I would call it barbaric," The herald spat, "I know what he did and I know how you feel, but this is cruel."

Luca's blood was on his hands and I would he suffer for it.

"It doesn't matter. Now, if you'll follow the corporal, he'll take you to your room," I looked to the soldier in the corner, "We'll convene at the throne of want in an hour, you may rest until then."

The herald grunted angrily and turned away.

With her out of the room I started to play with Shalquoir, trying to find out what was twisting Shanalotte's knickers.

"Leave her be, dear," The kitty purred, "She thought this would have all been over by now and it's frustrating her. She's under a lot of stress, with so many relying on her now."

I promised the ball of fluff something nice later on, then started trying to shift the big lump on my lap. Vexa put up a good struggle and won for once.

"You're not getting rid of me, mister," She chirped in a sing-song way, "Not in a million years."

No, it took considerably longer, though by that time we had already drifted considerably apart.

That was still many years off and then I had no want to be rid of her, not like that anyway.

A peck on the cheek later and she hopped up, taking Shalquoir with her.

"I'm going to go train for a little bit. I'll see you later," Vexa stuck out her tongue and walked away, swaying her hips.

I've been so very lucky in love when I think back on it, very lucky indeed.

I pretended to listen to the last of the nobles and headed off to see my guest. Vixen was already down in the dungeon with him.

There wasn't much left of the young knight, as to dissuade him from running away his arms and legs had been forcefully amputated.

"Today's your day, my good fellow," I threw a punch, the brute keeping the young knight upright, "I'm finally going to let you die. You do want to die, don't you or would you prefer to remain my guest for the foreseeable future?"

The young knight's lips were a quiver and with a quiet, raspy voice, pleaded for the pain to end.

"Oh, very soon my good fellow, but first I want to have some more time with you," I pulled the pendant from around my neck and handed it over to Vixen, "I'd rather her not see this and I think after I might pay the queen a visit."

Vixen bowed his head, "Sir."

I won't bore you with the details, it was a by the numbers beating and so into the next cell I went.

Nashandra hadn't spoken a single word since her defeat, weeping in her cell. She was naked except for a few scant rags and a mask not too dissimilar to the sinner's.

I brought in a stool from the outside and sat opposite her, lighting up a fag.

"Are you going to speak to me today?"

Bloodshot eyes studied me from behind the mask.

"I'll take that as a no," I started to roll the fag between my fingers, "I could start cutting if you wanted? Start with your naughty bits and work my way out. Found that pear of anguish in your collection, I wonder how many turns it would take to snap your jaw?"

The old queen exhaled through her nose and turned away. I wasn't getting anything out of her that day, there was always the day after.

I stamped out the cigarette.

"We'll try again tomorrow," I told her, walking over and pulling up the mask. Bits of torn skin hung from the inward pointing spikes and blood started to well from the puncture marks. Her once pretty face was terribly disfigured from the mask, not that I cared.

"And one last thing," I lowered the mask and hammered it back into place with the heel of my palm, small droplets of blood now running from her chin, "I'm about to make it so your age of dark never comes."

The woman would never be allowed the power she craved so much. If I could, I was going to keep her alive longer than the young knight.

I want to be disappointed in my younger self for being like this. I want to scream at him for his cruelty. I want to say I've changed in that regard, but my cracking red skulls during and after rallies/speeches says otherwise. I doubt I'll ever be able to atone for helping put that man into power.

My involvement as an SA Storm-Trooper is a discussion for another day however, I still don't like talking about it. That and it has nothing to do with Drangleic.

I took my pendant back.

"Could you try and find out why those damned crowns were so important, then bring him to the throne," I patted myself down, trying to find another cigarette and unfortunately I was out.

The brute nodded, "I'll do my best, sir."

He always did.

"Thank you, brother," Don't know what I'd do without Vix.

Now to find where the missus was training.

Up and down the castle I searched, finding my two favourite ladies on an elevated platform at the rear of the castle, overlooking the rear passage.

Katie was practically dancing around Vexa with her rapier, a wonderful display of swordsmanship if ever I saw one.

When it seemed as if Vexa would get a strike in, I called, "Vexy, love you! Give her hell!"

The distraction was enough to throw the redhead off, giving Katie the opening to give Vexa a whopping and I the cold shoulder...for a minute, because Vexa couldn't resist whining.

"I was winning."

No, she wasn't.

"And you made me lose."

She was going to lose regardless of me stepping in.

"You're so mean to me. I don't think you really, actually love me!" Her cute pout appeared, as it always did in times like these.

How was I ever to get out of this one?

The Reaper swagger up beside me, "Looks like someone has lost his access to his bed tonight."

"I've never had access," I proceeded to mimic a sleeping Vexa, sprawled out over the entire bed and snoring.

Luca would steal the blankets.

Vexa would sprawl herself over every inch of the bed.

Zoey does both, along with having physically kicked me out of the bed in her sleep.

Can't bathe in peace and I can't sleep with my partner in peace.

Katie shared a laugh with me, which only further annoyed Vexa.

"I hate you all," The redhead stropped, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her arms folded across her chest, facing away from us.

"Is that so?" I played along, "That is a shame. I suppose that I will have to invite Katie to the candle lit dinner I had planned, followed by a full body massage that was also included in that plan."

"Wha-what?" The Reaper spluttered.

"You heard me. Candle lit dinner, full body massage using certain magic fingers," I repeated, "If Vexa hates me now, I suppose I'll have to give you the princess treatment."

The cheeks of the Reaper flushed red and Vexa sprang up crying, "No."

The big child rushed over, latching onto me and wasn't letting go.

"No one else is allowed that, only me," Vexa thought she had some kind of monopoly over the massages. She was leaning heavily on me.

I warned her against pouting any harder, the wind could change you know and she could have been stuck with duck lips.

There was this feeling in my gut, she was going to make me suffer later on.

Before that though we needed to break the curse.

"Carry me," The redhead demanded.

"You haven't lost the use of your legs. It's not that far."

"It's part of your punishment for being mean to me."

I knelt down, allowing her to position herself properly. Almost immediately she started playing with my hair, which I hate.

She stopped when I stood, not wanting to risk me dropping her. She would find other ways to annoy me.

"Get you're boobs off my head."

She only leant in harder, tightening her legs around my middle.

"I'm using you for support, mister," Vexa joked.

"You're using me to be lazy," I replied, "Now get your boobs off my head or get off me entirely."

She straightened up with a huff and went back to playing with my hair.

"Don't untie my hair, Vex."

I felt the ribbon slacken and then saw the rose-pink strip dangled before my eyes, before they were covered by my fringe. Without an apology she started to for lack of a better word 'style' the old barnet.

The first indication that it was bad were Kat's sniggers, which were soon joined by Vexa's. The odd looks from the men were also increasing, more so than in the past few months.

I'd find a way to get my revenge. Sweet, sweet revenge.

The two then started to chat away, like I wasn't even there.

"Such pretty hair is wasted on him," Vexa commented, tightly pulling.

Katie agreed, "My older sisters have said very much the same."

Jealous is what I'd say.

Vexa finished messing about with a 'ta-da' and patted the top of my head. I didn't want to see her masterpiece.

I knew one redhead who was pushing her luck.

Unfortunately, we passed a mirror and I saw the extent of the damage.

"You've lost your massage tonight, lady von Bayer."

She tugged on one of the pig-tails hard, "I don't think so, not after putting so much effort into making you look pretty."

She and I had varying opinions on the definition of pretty; Katie was there to clarify Vexa's definition.

"You look pretty funny," The Reaper then looked to the redhead, "Why don't we put him in one of my formal dresses?"

From the way Vexa started to move, I assumed she was nodding.

Why oh why did I ever want them to be friends?

This was when I let go and she hit the floor with a thud.

I felt I could cry after running my hands over my head and it took a good amount of time to return my hair to normal.

Once the hair was back to normal I remembered that my love was on the floor and helped her back up.

She looked awfully upset.

"Hug?" I asked, opening my arms.

Vexa stood there frowning, rubbing her side that hit the floor.

With a slouch of her shoulders, Vexa mumbled, "Hug."

It was a nice hug, until I noticed she was playing with my hair again. The chase started after that, Vexa took off with a giggle and I hot on her heels. Katie was left in the dust.

I nearly lost her in a patrol of Dranglein rebels, but a quick threat of death if they didn't shift sorted them out.

Every time it seemed like I would catch the redhead, she would manage to steal ground on me and speed off round a corner.

Her downfall was turning into the corridor that led to the throne of want, it was a dead-end passage. I had her now.

Giggles echoed around the cavern, some loud, some soft.

"You're such a child," I shouted, prompting only more giggles.

My prey was cornered in the throne chamber, standing inside the opening. Getting the best grip I could on the slick stone pathway, I sprinted and tackled her to the floor.

We rolled around a bit, settling in a puddle of frigid winter stream water.

I hoped it would cool us down.

It did nothing of the sort.

"What did I do to fall in love with such a big child?" I asked, whilst looking into her big eyes. Each freckle had me captivated. Ruby lips full and glittering with whatever she put on them.

Not the most romantic of places, but myself and Vex have been in much stranger and have gotten much further.

Before the exciting stuff began we discovered a small crowd had formed around us.

Vixen cleared his throat.

I helped Vexa up and she smirked, "Probably for the best, I wouldn't want dinner spoiled this evening."

I smoothed out my doublet and breeches looking out to all there, a mixture of Erebayan officers, Dranglein rebels and other Dranglein dignitaries that had crawled out of the woodwork now that Nashandra was deposed.

"Gentlemen," I started, the hastily added 'ladies' seeing Kat and Shanalotte at the back, "Today we hopefully break the curse that has plagued the land and then we start about establishing proper rule, of course that being your introduction into the empire."

As to be expected the Dranglein natives didn't take well to this, not that it was a surprise. We did win the war.

I invited Shanalotte up front and she started to ramble.

Was there any point to it?

I tuned out most of it, Shanalotte was not amused.

"Get over here, you drunken lout."

I was offended, I wasn't drunk. Tipsy perhaps, but not drunk.

Very rude.

I took my place next to the herald.

"Hold your hand out to that rock," She ordered.

The giant's blessing jumped from my fingers with a spark and as with the entrance way, the rocks started to blow with an electric-blue spiderweb pattern, then started moving.

Golems awoke, walked a short distance and knitted together with each other, forming a bridge up to the throne.

"The kiln of the first flame is open, you can bring him forward now."

Vixen hoisted the torso of the young knight in the air and handed him over to me. Tears streamed from the swollen slits that were his eyes.

I would have the honour.

The young knight sobbed with every bump I dragged him over, he was going to suffer until the very end.

Ash blanketed the inner kiln. It was possible thousands had been sacrificed to keep the flame burning.

Remember how I told you that you shouldn't fight nature, I'm a hypocrite. Then again, mother nature is an absolute bitch and I don't care.

I roughly put the man down on the throne.

"I'm sorry," He barely managed.

"Yes, well that's not bringing her back."

I walked away, the doors of the kiln closing behind me.

Heat immediately flooded the room and the scent of burning flesh, it was unpleasant. But sometimes horrible things have to happen for things to get better.

Had it worked though?

"Gentlemen," I addressed the Dranglein natives, "If you would follow viscount von Strepp, he will take you to the throne room. I will follow you shortly."

They filed out of the cavern one by one.

I had a moment with Luca, her soul twinkling away inside the pendant.

Vexa came up behind me, drawing me into warm embrace and rocked me from side to side. My fingers were twitching, this spilled into my whole body.

"It's alright," She hushed, "It's all over now. You can relax."

I couldn't bring myself to believe that it was over.

We would have to wait and see.

The candle lit dinner I had with Vexa that evening helped a great deal, the two of us alone and without interruptions.

My people had spared the cooks, a wise decision and what a feast they had prepared. Several courses of the finest food left me feeling stuffed, something I don't feel often.

Once all the dishes had been taken away, we retired to our bedroom. After locking the door, Vexa started to strip, wiggling her body playfully.

I had found some scented oils in Nashandra's possession, Jugonese in origin. Probably brought in by the odd trader that braved Drangleic. Much better than the oil used by the cavalry.

The light from the fire was casting wonderful animated shadows over her milky white skin, every contour of her body sharply highlighted.

I applied a small amount of oil to her back and started; Her body was warm and I found myself tracing all her scars and stretch marks again, then started to put in effort.

Every tight, knotted muscle relaxed, as did she.

Down her body I worked my way, she moaned with every touch of my fingers. The moans soon stopped as I got to her lower back, the giggles started.

They only got worse the further I went down, with full on laughter developing when I got to her arse and legs.

"If you're not going to take this seriously, I'll stop," I slapped her hip.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I'm feeling really ticklish," Vexa looked back at me, "You're doing a really good job, please continue."

She rolled herself over, covering herself with her hands and trying her best to look coy.

"Alright, I'll start with the alternative neck massage."

"What's that?"

"I wrap my fingers around your throat and squeeze really tight," I caressed her neck with the back of my hand, "It'll have to wait though, I'm going to go get us some wine."

Vexa's hand shot out and grabbed mine, "Don't leave now, go later."

This would be our first night since she had woken up. We played about, yes, but this was the first time we make love since she became like me.

We were slow and deliberate in each and every move, a far cry from out usual style. I prefer this over wild and messy, so does she.

At the end we left the bed and curled up before the fire, covered in sweat and oil.

I never did go and get wine, turns out sex is far more enjoyable when sober and you don't wake up with the hangover.

Vexa left me the following day; reports had come in from around the castle that undead and hollow alike had crumbled in to nought but ash.

There was no cure and I realised that I could never have saved Luca.

It all left me in a bit of a depressed mood.

Now, Vexa hadn't left me for good, she was only going to see if her family home was still standing and to see if any of her other family were still alive.

Vixen, Kat and Don had left for the kingdom of the Gyrm, with an offering of peace and diplomatic friendship.

Shanalotte had left for Majula, to see if all the undead gathered there had indeed gone, taking Shalquoir with her.

The nobles had gone out into Drangleic to assess the land, do audits and what not.

I was on my own and the castle turned very lonely, even if I wasn't the only one inhabiting it. There was still a garrison, but they weren't my friends.

My time was spent trying to keep busy; Drangleic castle was home to some of the most beautiful musical instruments I had ever seen, some even that were completely alien to me. Along with them were books of music, written in a way that even I could read, still not having learned written Dranglein in full.

The harpsichord in the centre of the room took my attention straight away, as did the virginal and clavichord. Hell, there was even a pipe organ built into the far wall.

An odd feeling being depressed and in heaven at the same time, not something I can really recommend.

Anyway, as I was saying the harpsichord had stolen my attention. It was double stacked, the case made from oak and the keys bone. The underside of the lid was lavishly decorated with an image that seemed straight out of mythology, the fellow in the middle hurling lighting bolts at Dragons. No doubt Gwyn.

I took a seat and set up the sheet music. I could hear the piece long before I started playing it, one look at the sheet and my head was already awash with sound. My playing was a little poor though, it had been a long time since I'd last touched keys.

I've watched plenty grow frustrated at this, but not me. I feel I should, but I can never bring myself to be frustrated or angry at music.

Such a sweetness filled the air and I felt my heart lift, soon I was back in the swing of things. I played and I played.

Every note sent sparks up my spine and I was gripped by euphoria.

Hours melted into nothing, one day slipped into three.

I was working on one piece that had such a heavy weight to it. I stared at the strange lettering, as if that would suddenly allow me to read it.

From what I could tell it was made for both harpsichord and string, of which I had a violin, viol and three hurdy-gurdies with which to create different bass-drones.

Slowly I built up piece, adding the layers in small parts and adding to the overall richness. My wraiths playing as I wanted then to and most of all, I was having fun.

So enveloped in the music was I that I jumped out of my skin when someone put their hand on my shoulder.

The old man had sneaked up on me.

With a deep breath, I clutched at my heart.

"Damn it, man. I damn near had a heart attack," I studied him, 'old man' really did suit him now. Ornstein looked ill.

I sprung up and dragged in a chair, making him sit in it.

"I am perfectly fine, creature. Don't fuss about me, like I'm some doddering old fool," Ornstein grumbled, "I killed dragons, a slight cold isn't going to kill me."

Pneumonia isn't a slight cold and is far more likely to kill you that a dragon ever would, not that he listened to me tell him that.

I asked him why he was at Drangleic castle.

He sat with a sour face for a few minutes.

"I was bored," He final said, "I don't like sitting around all day, doing nothing, but time it seems has finally caught up with me."

The old man started coughing into his closed hand.

"Anyhow," He sighed, "You managed to light the fire once more and you didn't embarrass yourself, or so I have been informed. And tell me, they say the Kellantine girl is going by lady von Bayer, did you marry her behind everyone's back?"

I shook my head.

"Is the father taking it well."

"Who? Vixen? Of course not. She's still his sweet, baby sister and not the master deviant we both know her to be," A chuckle left my lips, "Vexa told him she was pregnant the other week. Vix burst into my room with a thunder lance in his hands. The gun wasn't loaded, but..."

I was sat in bed reading at the time, I reacted how you'd expect.

His overreaction to every little thing concerning Vexa were getting on my wick and I could see it ending in a fight.

The dragon slayer nodded his head slowly.

I changed the subject, "Is it true then that all the undead and hollows turned to ash?"

"Yes," He answered, "The fire keeper asked the same. She followed us back here."

I was aware of that, as she was at the door and with a smile on her face.

"I'm free. I'm finally free," The herald was giddy, "I'm free, free, free. No more having to look after all those wretched things. No more having to care for them. No more!"

True colours were shown and I was indifferent, couldn't blame her for feeling that way. I did however raise one point of my own, "I was in love with one of those 'wretched things', my dear Shanalotte."

The herald shrugged and said that Luca was different because she wasn't so needy.

"She also punched and slapped you a lot," She pointed to my face, "That put her in my good books. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have myself a bath and then crawl into one of those soft feather beds, and not have to worry about anything any more."

With another cry of 'free', Shanalotte happily skipped off and vanished into the inner hallways of the castle.

I looked at the door she had been standing in and sucked on my teeth.

"Where were we? So, are you going to stay here or start looking for your friend again?"

The old man waved his hand, "Let's talk of that some other time, play something for me."

I started where I had left off, creating wraiths and having them pick up the other instruments. The old man's smile was a sight to behold.

He asked it's name and I had a wraith hand him the music, having already memorised it myself.

"Astrea."

The name of the piece finally given to me.

Ornstein went into detail about the saint turned demon, who only ever did good and was struck down mercilessly.

The only demon to keep her humanity.

She was part of the Boletaria fairytale that I had heard retold many a time, it was the old man's favourite after all and one he still believe to be true.

"Here's one of mine," Only a harpsichord piece then, but something I would continue to build upon. Your basic toccata really, until I started messing with it.

Ornstein applauded lightly, "You should give up with everything but your music, creature. A talent I wish I had."

At least one Ornstein would have that talent, and I think that if I gave my Ornstein a go at the keys it would sound like _Wild Man's Dance_ than anything else.

"Anyone can play music, but can just anyone slay dragons?" I asked in reply.

The old man shook his head, "Two separate skills, creature. At which we both excel...I once excelled."

His brow furrowed, deep wrinkles forming.

"Ey, there are still more dragons out there for you to kill. You're not quite past your prime yet, Ornstein," I tried to cheer him up.

"I was past my prime centuries ago, creature," He shook his head, "John. I'm scared...about what comes next. What does happen next?"

At first I thought about what to say to him, what did we do next? For us it would be stabilise the country, the rebuild our forces and then continue to search for a way home.

I supposed he could join us like the Kellantine siblings, but that wasn't what he was saying at all.

My mind went back to the harpsichord; I wouldn't find an answer there, only a means of avoiding it.

"Kat's the one you need to talk to, she knows best," My mouth and throat were suddenly very dry, "I don't know what happens next. I guess you keep fighting, Ornstein."

When I turned back to him, he was looking to the floor in what looked like reflection. He looked back up with the ghost of a smile.

"I'm tired, creature. Could you show me to where I may get some rest?"

There weren't many of the nice rooms left, not after the utter carnage that had followed taking the castle. Still broken pieces of furniture littered the floor, alongside feather down from the torn sheets and pillows.

The nicest once had been nabbed by the herald, whose lump was well defined buried deep under the covers.

It was the servants quarters in which we found a suitable bed.

"If you want, you can have my room in the castle. With Vexa not here it's lonely in that bed and I'd rather be elsewhere," Back with all my new instruments came to mind.

Ornstein looked around the room, "This will be suitable. You can get that fire going for me however, warm this room. It looked like snow when I arrived."

And snow indeed it was, thick blankets of white covered everything as far as the eye could see. Blue skies, clear and crisp watched over us.

I stood above the gatehouse, watching the party coming in from Majula. Supplies mainly and one flustered doctor.

Zimmermann was pacing in the entrance hall.

"Take me to him," He demanded, "The stupid man shouldn't have left, he was in no condition to travel."

The old man got a good telling off and I listened from behind the closed door. The doctor's fleshy face was red.

Ornstein was not to leave the castle under any circumstance.

"He's a very ill man," Zimmermann said.

"He's also a very strong man," I crushed a fag against the wall, "Stronger than you or I, doctor."

"All the same, you majesty. I will continue to monitor him here, until the inevitable," Zimmermann bowed, "If you need me, I'm setting up with the surgeon's assistant."

Zimmerman walked off and I spent most of my morning with the old man. From the sidelines he watched me spar with one of the junior officers. It was sword and sword, and began with the _schara_ and then I switched to the Loyce sidesword and my partner went with a Dranglein arming sword.

They were fighting me now not as emperor but as a genuine opponent, and it was good.

There was a chance I could even impress the dragon slayer.

"Sloppy," The old man tutted, "What kind of guard was that? It's a sword, not a club! I taught you better than that."

No such luck.

He followed us to the firing range outside of the castle. This was an everyday routine, go outside and fire 10 shots at a target.

Ornstein still wasn't impressed and started to lecture me, "Don't become over reliant on that weapon, I've told you before. It's fine when it works, but what happens the minute it doesn't fire?"

I held the gun differently, yelled at the top of my lungs and charged the static target. I was still hoping that I could introduce the plug-dagger to the wider army, it would eventually happen when we transitioned to doglocks. The socket bayonet was introduced shortly after that, thus my efforts were wasted.

So, after musket practice we parted ways. The old man went looking for food and I went for a run, followed by a cold bath before the urges set in.

Took a wrong corridor on the way back and ended up in part of the castle I had never stepped foot in before, nor anyone else for that matter, at least not since we'd taken it.

A lift, covered in a thick layer of dust, was before me.

No harm in seeing where it went, eh?

The pressure plate at it's centre activated the contraption like the others around Drangleic and started to slow climb upwards.

Metal creaked and chains scraped against stone, the lift body shaking as if battered by wind.

A windowless room is what I stepped into, pitch black and freezing. A cage filled most of it and housed the missing Milfanito, _Singring_.

Barely alive in her prison.

The door I couldn't open due to 'magical' lock, which looked horrific. It was a living creature and you would have to insert the key into it's gaping maw.

I didn't have the key, but gunpowder works in roughly the same way and so blasted the door open, with a little help from Whiplash. Zimmermann watching over to make sure we didn't hurt the girl in the process.

A small charge was enough to take the monsters head off and break the lock.

The girl was waif thin and grey, every bone could be seen stretching her skin. There was no weight to her, like carrying the air itself. She couldn't have been older than 6.

Pail hair was like straw and brown eyes were sunken deep into her head.

"Careful with her, careful," Zimmermann chided, as I carried her.

I left her in the care of the doctor and surgeon's assistant, and I ordered Whiplash to prepare to move her once she recovered her strength. She deserved to be back with her sisters.

I returned to my music and was again joined by Ornstein.

"Tell me when you're taking the Milfanito home and I will be ready to help," The old man scratched at his stubble.

"You're not going," I fixed the man down with a stare, "Doctor's orders and mine. You're staying in this castle, Ornstein!"

I hadn't meant to snap at him, it came from nowhere.

"You need to improve with giving orders, creature," He clicked his tongue, "Try again without shouting. Keep calm."

"With your health the way it is, I cannot allow you to leave the castle. You will say," I tried the second time. Results were more favourable this time.

Ornstein grunted, "Better, there is still a long way to go though."

I could always do what I watched a sergeant do and beat the order into him; I would probably come off for the worse however.

"I'll keep working on it."

"See that you do," Ornstein clenched his fist, "I've put in too much work for you to turn out an embarrassment."

I wonder what he'd think about me now?

Such lessons didn't come cheap, thankfully I was allowed to pay in music. It became the routine for the following days, until the girl had regained some strength.

She still wasn't on solid food, but she was better. Strangely, the day after that it seemed as if she was fine. It confounded Zimmermann, there was absolutely no way that it could be possible. If the girl was human I would have said yes. The girl was Milfanito, so I had no clue about her physiology.

She was safe enough to be moved, that was all that mattered.

The doctor protested, wanting to keep her for longer. He didn't feel comfortable letting her go after the state of malnourishment she had been in.

When he was telling me this, she was holding my arm, chattering away in whatever language was native to the Milfanito. Our attempts with Dranglein were met with a confused smile.

"All I'm asking for is a few more days," The doctor wanted to be sure, "A week at most."

"Fine," I waved my fingers a bit, "A week. Then she's going back to Amana."

Another little distraction.

 _Singring_ was the curious sort, slipping the doctor and finding general mischief. She was a child in the literal sense, rather than the case with Vexa.

I picked her up following Shanalotte around.

The girl chattered excitedly as I dragged her back to Zimmermann, who she slipped again not ten minutes later.

I held the girls shoulders and spoke firmly to her, she was not to leave my side. I might as well have been talking to a brick wall. I prayed that the gestures I made afterwards made more sense.

They must have been as she stuck to my heels.

The next thing was what to call her. _Singring and the Glass Guitar_ wouldn't exist for a fairly long while you see, so I wasn't actually calling her _Singring_. Something close however.

"Siegnette," I pointed to her, to which she cocked her head. So I pointed to myself and said, "Johannes-Friedrich" and back to her, "Siegnette."

She looked on in wide-eyed wonderment. I assumed happy with the temporary name.

The girl fussed as I ruffled her hair, "Alright kiddo, don't leave my sight or it's straight back to Zimmermann."

And so I went about my day with Siegnette following me like a lost little puppy, the castle that had once held her prisoner was now a place to explore.

She watched on with joy as myself and Whiplash crossed swords, shielding her eyes whenever it seemed something gory would happen.

At the firing of the guns Siegnette would yelp and run behind the closest corner, hands pressed tightly to her ears. The noise eventually grew too much for her and she ran off.

My little ward was sat beside a statue, hugging her legs. Tears streaked her cheeks and when I got closer she shrunk, hugging herself tighter.

My words fell on deaf ears. The effect of gunfire on a child appeared magnified. My own stupid fault for not looking after her properly. It should have been obvious that the guns would frighten her.

"Let's go get some food," I helped her up.

My next problem was that she was a fussy eater. The cook had prepared a stunning winter vegetable soup, absolutely packed with carrot, potato, turnip, onion and the rest. A culinary artist that man and Siegnette turned her nose up at it.

A telling off later and she still refused to eat the soup.

"Just try a bite," I pleaded, it was getting to the stage where I was going to feed her myself. That soup wasn't going to waste, she would eat it.

"I'm getting mad, Siegnette. Eat your food."

With a defiant huff, the girl pushed the bowl away from her. I had had enough.

"Alright, young lady. Back to doctor Zimmermann," I snatched her arm and dragged her in the direction of the surgeon's quarter.

Siegnette freed her thin wrist and ran, running straight into Shanalotte and hiding behind her long skirt.

"What have you done to the poor girl?" The herald jabbed her finger at me.

The stubborn little brat was going back to the doctor and there was to be no argument. If she was going to be a naughty child, I'd treat her like one.

"I'll take her off your hands," She looped her arm around Siegnette, "I think you've done enough."

And that's who she stayed with.

It was later on that evening, I was giving Ornstein his daily listen of music. It was completely made up piece, there had been nothing that caught my eye in the books.

"Creature," The old man called to me.

Siegnette was standing next to the table with the portative organ on it. The nightdress she wore was several sizes too big for her, trailing behind on the floor.

Sheepish is how I'd describe her behaviour.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, young lady?" I beckoned her over.

"I don't know why you bother speaking, she doesn't understand you," Ornstein tapped ash into a pot and took a deep draw of what remained of the smoking leaf.

Because it would be rude otherwise.

"I'm sorry for getting annoyed with you earlier and for mishandling you," Her grey eyes widen when I ruffled her hair like I'd done before. Slight movement of her pupils told me she wanted to look at the harpsichord.

The Milfanito did sing for the dead after all and songs are much better with music. Siegnette wasn't old enough to have started that. This would be a good way to get her to sleep as well, a half hour of playing and she was under.

Watching this child made me hate Nashandra even more.

"Can you explain how she could do this? It's sickening," My heart was beating out an unsteady tattoo, rapidly speeding up with every breath, "Look at her, she's no more than a baby. Why would she drag a baby into this?"

Ornstein looked to Siegnette, "Don't question the motives of the mad. Be happy you found her when you did and that she has recovered so quickly. That little girl is safe now."

"I wish I could have found her earlier and gotten her out of all this. It might sound silly, but I feel responsible for her," There was a smile on Siegnette's lips, no doubt dreaming of something nice.

"You're not her father. You're not even related."

"What does that matter? Here and now, until Zimmermann is content, she is under our protection," If I continued the way I was, I was going to start shouting. It was in no manner a surprise I was acting this way, seeing as how I had reacted to the kidnapping of the children of the giants. There was a lot of restraint shown in me not going straight to Nashandra and cutting away until nothing remained. All that vile hatred burst out, tar thick and choking.

I bit my tongue hard and tasted the metallic tang, then chewed on my lip until it too bled. Getting worked up would get me nowhere.

"I should say, until we get her back to her sisters in Amana, Siegnette is our responsibility," I stood and picked up the girl, "I'm going to put her to bed. Don't drink my brandy when I'm gone. I will check it, when I get back."

The old man made no promises and was most definitely gone when I returned several minutes later. I was put in the most frightful states of upset I had ever been in. To steal another man's brandy or any other alcohol…

"You don't want to be drinking with a child in your care," He drank what was left of his and held the decanter close to him, eventually taking it with him.

The start of an interesting week for sure.

Siegnette spent her time between myself and Shanalotte, with the occasional trip to Zimmermann. It was a strange experience, especially for those returning to the castle.

One evening she escaped from the herald who was only trying to bathe her. Round and round we chased her; my running after Vexa had trained me for this.

In a last second decision we split, following the girl all the way to the castle's entrance hall. Shanalotte blocked her only escape route and I scooped Siegnette up.

"Alright you little monster, got you now," She fidgeted and laughed joyfully, "You must stop running away. You've got to be a good girl."

Siegnette chattered away, shaking her head.

It hadn't escaped my notice that Kat, Don and Vix were in the room, but we didn't really care about that.

With her supported in my arms, I turned to greet my friends.

"Were you successful with the Gyrm?" Ignoring the obvious, I went straight to business.

"Erm, Gavlan and the king of the Gyrm are behind us, sir and erm...I mean, they are following us in a few days...erm. We were successful in signing the treaty and…"

Katie rolled her eyes, "Who's the girl, Jonathan-Fredrick?"

"Yeah, pretty sure we haven't been away that long," Don chimed in.

"Amazing how quickly the storks work. Just the other day I was wondering what it would be like to have a daughter and there she was, nestled amongst the cabbage patch. They grow up so fast. Doesn't she look like her mother? You do recall what Vexa told you, brother?"

Vixen look like he was going to suffer an aneurysm, so I stopped and gave them the truth. All the while Siegnette started to wriggle about restlessly.

"As you can see, she's a handful. You can brief me later, this little lady has to take her bath and it won't do for her to run from Shanalotte again," My young ward showed off her wide, toothy grin to everyone. She even waved them goodbye and left them in a stupor.

Things got slightly worse the following day when Vexa returned. As I was giving most of my attention to Siegnette and not her, she was in a mood with me.

The girl didn't take to the redhead either, turning all shy and burying her face into whoever she was with when Vexa tried to engage with her.

This was an opportune time to tease Vexa mercilessly.

"Don't worry," I soothed the hiding Siegnette, stroking her head, "The mean old crone won't harm you, I won't let that happen."

Vex hammered on my arm with her fist, leaving a good sized welt.

"You see Siegnette, you see what she does to me," I stuck my tongue out at the redhead, which the little one mimicked. I found it adorable, Vexa less so.

It was in bed that evening when Vex voiced her opinion. I was embarrassed for her, competing with a child for my love.

Only Vexa.

All was forgiven though, after I had handed Siegnette back over to Shanalotte for sleep.

When I told the redhead the whole story, she understood.

"What does Siegnette even mean?" She asked and I professed no to know.

"When I saw her all bright-eyed and cheery, especially after what she'd been through, all I could think was that saving her was anther victory over Nashandra," I pressed my lips to Vexa's forehead and held her, "The nicest little victory I can think of."

* * *

 **Happy New Year and whatnot,  
** **I do hope you all had a nice one. As for myself, I don't quite remember new year much and that is probably no doubt for the best.  
** **Anyway, here's the next part of my beautiful mess. Hopefully the next one will be the final part in Drangleic, then who knows.  
As always I hope you enjoy reading this rubbish.  
Until next time.**


	23. Goodbye Drangleic

I wanted to start off with something happy, not that the old man passed in his sleep. As with Luca, knowing it was coming didn't soften the blow.

Dragon slayer Ornstein, captain of Gwyn's four knights, a living legend, gone forever.

Little Siegnette, whilst not understanding what had happened, was in tears. More because I think we were all crying.

I did my best to cheer her up, but looking at her only made me more upset. I knew we had to take her back to her sisters soon. My little ward had been with us longer than the week originally asked for by Zimmermann.

I wiped the tears away from her cheeks with my thumb, "Don't you cry, sweetness. It's all alright."

I put on a brave face for her, hoping it would get her to stop and smile for me. No smile, but she did signal for me to pick her up.

Siegnette held up her arms up and yawned a bit.

"Alright, my darling. Up you get."

"You're spoiling her, von Bayer," Shanalotte said, shaking her head at the display.

"I'm not," I got Siegnette comfortable and to be frank, I was spoiling her. Considering the circumstances, I thought it acceptable. The girl sniffed and wiped at her eyes, then did her very best to smile.

"There's a good girl. Someday you will come to understand all of this and sing for them, my dear sweet Siegnette. Lull the souls into gentle sleep," My eyes wandered over the Vixen, "It's only us remaining now, brother. Thank goodness you can no longer die."

Katie spoke up before Vixen could reply, "I know your numerical skills are lacking John, but if you count there is more than only you and the lord Kellantine."

"Yeah!" Vexa snapped after Katie, "I'm here too."

"Like I could forget you. You're a constant pain in my neck." I sent a sneer her way. We had a slight spat going, one of those petty things between lovers. Not even the old man's death put a hold on things.

The redhead told me to fuck off under her breath, but loud enough for everyone to still hear.

"Hey!" I glared back, "Not around Siegnette. I don't want her learning those kinds of words."

Vexa blew air through her lips, "She doesn't understand us anywa-"

"Fuck?" The little girl repeated. This is what I feared, Siegnette had been picking up on both Dranglein and Erebayan words at a frightening pace. I had stopped swearing altogether, along with the drinking. The old man had told me such and I listened.

Siegnette repeated the swear again and I shushed her, with a firm 'no' following. She understood that well enough.

"Thank you very much, Vexa. Just what I wanted her to learn."

We continued to snipe at each other, to the annoyance of just about everyone in the castle. The two of us stayed out of each other's hair as much as we could from then on.

I made preparations for Ornstein's funeral, he having left explicit instructions for what we were to do. He wanted to be buried facing Lordran and that was to be on the cliff overlooking the coast at Majula.

"Nothing flashy, creature," He told me.

Gavlan provided me with a beautifully carved headstone, the likeness of Ornstein's armour. It could stand watch in his stead.

The procession was slow, passing several villages that were now filled with life. People were finally coming back to Drangleic.

Some turned out to watch the casket be wheeled by, ignorant of who was within.

Myself and the missus still weren't talking, which was for the best because I didn't want Siegnette picking up any more naughty words. Couldn't return her to her sister's spouting off such filth.

I was so surprised when we reached Majula, don't know why. It was dead, not a single sign of life. They really were all gone.

Lenigrast's tools were untouched by the long dormant forge, the unfinished parts of a hand-and-a-half sword on the bench.

Clothes left moth-eaten on hangers in Maughlin's hut.

A small contingency from the fortress joined us, those men that had listen to all of Ornstein's stories and, like myself, had found the man to be a mentor.

No words were spoken as the old man was lowered into the ground, it was solemn. Every man from the fort readied a musket in salute.

I held Siegnette back, with my hands over her ears. She still jumped when the guns fired.

"I know you don't understand," I ruffled her hair afterwards, "But someday someone will tell you about the man we buried today. Someone will tell you about all of this, about who we all were."

She looked up at me with her big, grey eyes and cocked her head. Siegnette then made another familiar gesture and I let Shanalotte take her. The two disappeared into the manor, leaving myself and Vexa to stare at each other awkwardly.

The redhead spoke first, "Are you going to apologise?"

"For what? I have no idea why you're angry with me," I turned to look at the sea, the crashing of the waves proved a nice distraction, "Vexa, I treasure you here in my heart more than I have words for and trust me when I say I don't know what I've supposed to have done. I do know I don't want us to keep fighting. Please, and come back to bed."

"Oh, shut up," She folded her arms under her breasts, "You know exactly what you've done. I want an apology."

I walked closer, "I love you, but you're pushing my patience."

Then it clicked, there was something big that I had forgotten. It wasn't a petty issue at all, not to her and I felt horrid. I peeled her arms away from her body and took her hands in mine.

So much had gone on and my mind had been on other things.

"Vexa," I squeezed her hand, "I'm so sorry. I know your birthdays mean a lot to you and I promise to make it up to you."

Her ruby lips pressed into a frown, "Everyone but you remembered and that hurt. I wanted to spend the day with you, but you ignored me and that hurt more."

Vexa's gaze was heated and burned me deeply. I felt so guilty, it added weight to my shoulders that I hadn't felt before.

I dropped her arms and pulled her close, wrapping her in a bone crushing hug. I wanted her to know I was more than sorry.

She lowered her head, resting it on my shoulder.

Hot tears soaked though my doublet. All that upset had come out as anger and now it was being let go.

"You're crying now, but I've still got time to forget about our anniversary as well," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Vexa mumbled something into my shoulder that I didn't catch.

She raised her head and in complete serious grumbled, "I said, I'll kill you if you do. Vixen will also kill you."

I didn't doubt that for a second.

As my first step in making things better, I suggested the two of us finally go on that 'date' to Heide. Only she and I.

Siegnette would remain with Shanalotte, Kat and Vixen, and go back to Drangleic castle.

I needed to visit Heide regardless, to see how much work had been done, it would be a pleasant break from all the bureaucracy I'd been forced to endure. I know I'm the emperor and can't complain, but I'm complaining regardless.

Vexa lowered her head again. Not to cry this time, but to wipe her nose.

"You're disgusting."

"But you love me. I'm still angry with you though."

We pulled away and quickly pecked each other on the lips. I then removed a handkerchief from a pocket and handed it over, "Use that, not me."

She snatched it from my hand and blew her nose loudly, then tried to hand the handkerchief back. I declined the offer of it's return.

I could see Vixen watching us from a distance. He hadn't interfered once during this fight of ours, showing restraint I didn't know he had.

We waved him over and explained what was going to happen for the next two days, and waited for Shanalotte to bring back Siegnette.

Both came back not long after, the little one skipping. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

The parting of ways was interesting, Siegnette didn't understand why myself and Vexa weren't coming with them. She didn't cause trouble, it was the look she gave me.

"Two days," I said for the third time, crouching down and looking straight into her eyes, "I'll be back..."

And then we're going to take you back home, I was going to say. The words failed me, my own fault. Should have seen it coming a mile off and once more the old man had been right, I wasn't her father and it wasn't right to keep her any longer.

Once they were in the carriage and on their way we went off, which took us through the sewers. The roads to Heide had yet to be rebuilt.

There was a longer route into the ancient kingdom which would have taken several days to navigate. The sewers were the most direct option.

"Oh, you're trying really hard to make things up to me," The redhead complained, "Traipsing through knee high shit water."

"These sewers are clean, it's rain water," I wanted to put her mind at ease, "I thought the lack of stench would have given that away and I thought you were used to living in filth."

Vexa snapped round, "And what do you mean by that?"

"All I'm saying is, would it kill you to pick up you're dirty clothes and not leave plates of half eaten food around our bedroom? I don't particularly like living in a sty."

The spat started anew. My forgetting of her birthday, forgotten and other annoyances surfacing.

"Don't think you're so perfect. I find ash everywhere from your damned smoking and don't get me started on how everything smells like the smoke, even my hair," She took a length of her crimson locks in her fingers, "And you never have time for me, we've only had one proper evening together since defeating Nashandra!"

"What were you expecting? I have so much to do, trying to restabilise and rebuild this country. Trying to forge treaties with the our neighbours so that we can avoid another Volgen incident and make it so my people can find a way home," I threw my hands up in frustration, "And what do you think we're doing now? I'm giving you my time."

Vexa stopped with teeth bared, "Your people? What am I then? What am I, John! Were you going to up and leave me, after all I'm just a silly human woman that's good for a quick fuck."

That stung deep and I lashed out, slapping her.

"You're Vexa von Bayer, my partner, and you are one of us. How dare you even think I would aba _ndon you_ ," My human self faded into my _naked_ form, " _Sometimes I don't understand you at all._ _And didn't you ever think that perhaps that I want to spend all my time with you._ _I can't help that bureaucracy gets in the way._ _You might put on a childish front, but even you know you can't always play_."

The redhead did the unexpected and did exactly as I had done. It was my first time seeing her _naked_ , proof that the conversion had been successful.

She was unstable, both bodies flickering in and out. It would take time for her to fully control every new part of her being.

" _I_ _kn_ ow!" She let out an infuriated groan, "I'm _s_ o _angry w_ ith you and I don't know why!"

Vexa settled in her human body, hands balled into fists, shaking with energy.

I had an idea and voiced it.

"It's the strangest part of love. We could scream and shout at each other all day long and it wouldn't change a thing about how I feel about you. I am not perfect by any means of the word and neither are you," I walked ahead, "You're nothing but a pain in the backside, yet for some unknown reason I still love you. So get angry with me, that won't change anything. Do you still love me though?"

I wanted to hear the words from her, because I had been the only one to use them. I was starting to wonder myself if it was wholly one-sided.

I waited and waited, and Vexa continued to fume. I didn't get my answer.

"If you want I can reverse the conversion, let you live out what's left of your silly little human life? There's always more where you come from," I spat.

Three simple words, how difficult were they to say? My mind started to wander to places I didn't want it to go. Was this all over? No, but it felt like it at the time.

Vexa hid her face, "If that's true, you won't care if I leave. You bastard!"

She ran off back towards Majula.

"Go on then! Run back to your brother," I yelled after her, "You filthy human convert. You damn filthy whore!"

My words echoed throughout the sewer, coming back to bite with every rebound.

Talk about adding fuel to the fire, I'd just added a refineries worth of petrol to it and I was getting licked by the flames. Goodness me, you might forget that one of us is an ancient, ageless god and the other 700 years old, not a pair of teenagers.

I turned and ran in the opposite direction.

Ran towards the light.

Scared the hell out of the sergeant on watch, screaming at him when he failed to acknowledge me, prompting the duty officer to come sprinting over.

Once calmed down and situated in the old cathedral, I had them bring me paper and ink. I gave up after several hours of attempting to compose an apology, that's not me. It had to be face to face, rather than hiding behind paper and that was if Vixen would let me near her.

It caused me great stress, corrupting what escape I could find in my dreams. Throughout the night I was tossing and turning, waking up to the face of Zimmermann's counterpart, Gregory Zecht. I had been shouting apparently.

Zecht was the son of a fisherman and had me walk with him around Heide, in his opinion the salt air would be good for me. If it was I didn't notice, it did give me ample opportunity to view the rebuilt Heide.

The ancient city looked like it would fit perfectly on an _Asia_ album cover, stunning and the lighthouse was fully ablaze. Blue and white everywhere I looked, a far cry from the crumbling buildings I had first seen.

I left before dinner, wanting to be back Majula side before midday. I opted to stay in the fort for the remained of the second day and had myself a slight relapse, wanting Lucatiel back again. The melancholy was painful. It's even more painful to look back and realise how much of a twat I was being.

I made plans to go and visit Luca on my way back to the castle. I wasn't to go alone of course, a group of engineers would follow me with equipment to torch Aldia's keep whilst we were there.

I'd cleanse every stinking inch of that building, every scrap of monstrous research, every damned person still left alive there.

The road looked oh so lovely with spring flowers starting shoot up through the soil. Too bad the keep was there at the end to spoil my view. The spot where Luca had been shot doubled me over, like a punch to the gut. Several small shards of her estus flask were still on the ground and a little further up were the rotted crossbows.

Every feeling of discomfort amplified the closer we got, my heart stopped when we reached her grave. The ash looked untouched.

"We can give your majesty some time before we begin, if that is what you wish?" The officer in command of the engineers said.

"No," I replied, looking to the shed first and then the entrance, "You have your orders, see them done, major."

Every man marched smartly into the keep, leaving me be.

It was a calm day, a warm breeze coming in from the south-east. The air was sweet and fragrant with all the new flora.

A good place for a quiet reflection.

"What would you say, honey?" I asked, kneeling down and placing my hand flat to the ash. As soon as my hand brushed the ash, I was gripped by nausea. I was suddenly made aware that it was night and snowing something fierce.

The ashen mist heart...it was still with me, still clinging to my very being.

Blood on the ground was my clue to as when I was.

I picked myself up and followed her blood into the entrance. Lucatiel was slouched against the wall, breathing heavily. Her hand was pressed to her belly.

The blonde undead turned her head, her face contorted in pain, streaked with tears and snot.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," She said over and over, "Stay away from me."

I got closer, regardless of her pleading.

"Go back, von Bayer. Go back to sleep, everything will be fine tomorrow."

"My heart breaks tomorrow," I told her, "So no, it's not going to be fine."

I sat with her, linking our fingers.

Real, tangible and surreal. I was as calm as could be, which was strange, I should have been distraught.

"You're not him," Luca whispered.

She thought she was dreaming.

"No, honey. I am who you think I am, just older," I started to rub circles on her hand with my thumb, "It's hard to explain, but I'm here and still down there in the shed. You're worst nightmare, two of me. Not that I'm going to be here for long."

The blonde undead turned her body slowly, letting out a groan as she did and looked at me, reaching out with her free hand, cupping my cheek.

"What have you done to your face?"

I told her everything, knowing full well we didn't have much time.

She smiled with a shiver going through her body, "Over? You..."

Lucatiel was consumed with laughter, even if it caused her great pain.

"My idiot actually did it," She then proceeded to smack me about the arm, "You're still a thug though."

"I lose you and I lost myself, for a while. Then I fell for Vexa, couldn't help it," I started to rifle through my pockets to see if there was a cigarette. I had one left, no more than a dog-end. It lit all the same.

It's warmth spread all over me and released it's relaxing aura.

Luca's breathing got heavier, our time growing shorter.

"I loved you," I confessed with a sigh.

The blonde pushed my fringe to one side and pressed her cold lips to my forehead.

She whispered, "I know and I couldn't help loving you too."

Silence overtook us.

Her skin was like ice now; she had one last request, "Could you sing for me one last time?"

It was the lullaby I'd sang all that time ago in Majula.

"Goodbye, Luca. I wish we could have had longer, but you go to sleep now," I held her head in my arms, "You go to sleep and all of this will be over, you'll be free. I'll watch over you forever. You just rest."

"Don't...let...go," The blonde undead slowly closed her eyes, her breaths laboured "Keep...singing...please."

She was gone by the end of the next verse and I was pulled back, the ashen mist having faded replaced by thick black smoke. The keep was an inferno.

It was all lost on me; I had witnessed her die for the second time. When I had asked to see her one last time, that wasn't what I had meant.

I was scarcely aware of the major standing before me.

"Your highness? Would you like us to escort you back to the physician at Majula?"

I shook my head, "Your work is done here. You can return to the fortress, I'll return to the castle."

I took my time, having refused to take guards with me. I stopped briefly at Eleum Loyce, the magic teleporter thing still active.

Aava was no-where to be seen, long gone I theorise. I had a nosey about anyway and nicked off with rather fancy halberd from Kern's armoury. I liked it, thus it was mine.

Back on the other side it had started raining, a storm had set in and it was a big one. The wind howled over the mountain-tops, the rain was coming down side-ways.

Folks of lightning split the sky asunder and the corresponding thunder-claps deafened me.

Let's say I was more water than man when I reached the castle. Siegnette was waiting and jumped into my arms the moment she saw me.

"I missed you too," I tapped her nose, "Sorry for being away longer than I said. Have you been a good girl for Shanalotte and Kat?"

The little one flashed me a smile and hugged me. I took it as a yes.

It didn't take long for the rest of them to gather. The herald quickly took Siegnette away, so that the others could talk to me.

"What d-" Vixen started to growl.

"What did you say to Vexa?" Katie cut him off with the same question.

I held my tongue.

"You know what-" Once more Vixen was interrupted.

"I'm going to kill you, Jonathon-Fredrick!"

"Princess," The brute raised his voice, "I appreciate what you are doing, but this isn't something I need help with. I can defend my sister on my own."

Katie apologised and let Vixen get a word in.

"How dare you-"

"Yes. How dare you!"

"Princess Reyes!"

"Sorry, lord Kellantine. Please continue."

"Your double act needs work. I'm not amused," I pushed past them, "I'm going to put on some fresh clothes and go to bed. And Vixen, stay out of my way. Have words with your sister, not me."

The herald stopped not much further asking the same question, not that she cared. Shanalotte was in it for the gossip.

I asked my own question about the ashen mist heart and why it hadn't left me.

"We burned down Aldia's keep and I went to visit her grave. When I touched the ash...I got to say goodbye, sang to her, watched her die again," My voice cracked, which was unexpected and I had to compose myself, "If anyone asks, I've not gone to bed. I'm going to play some music."

My little ward let go of Shanalotte's hand and followed me. I wanted her to stay with Shanalotte, but knowing Siegnette she would find a way to escape.

I first headed to my room and change, lest I start growing mould.

"I'll be a few minutes, wait here," I ruffled her hair and entered the bedroom. Vexa was on top of the bed with a book in her hands, Shalquoir nestled against her bosom. The redhead spared me the briefest of glances.

I acted as if she wasn't there, stripping my soaked clothes.

"Could you do that elsewhere?" Vexa snapped, closing the book with a heavy clap.

I peered at her over my shoulder, "It's my room. I shall do in it as I please, such as changing. By all means leave, I'd prefer it."

Her reply was a short, forced exhale through her nose.

"I mean it, Vexa. I don't want you here when I return."

Bags hung under her eyes and her hair was unkempt, frizzy with plenty of split ends.

If I was to sum up my thoughts, they would probably sound a little like,

 _I hope I never, I hope I never have to see you again,_ _  
_ _Again, oh oh oh oh._

Fairly over dramatic, I'm aware, but it's one cracking bloody song. Now, I really must stop before I go on a _Split Enz_ tangent, I nearly did that before and I promised myself I wouldn't do so again.

She sat up and threw the book at me, missing my head by a millimetre. Queue the screaming match, several pieces of broken crockery and blood.

Plucking shards of broken glass from my face was not what I wanted to be doing and the little one was traumatised, for that I had a further go at Vexa. She would get no apology from me now.

Siegnette kept pointing at my nose. It had been broken again for the who knows how many times.

"Come on then, sweetness," I held out my hand after fixing my face, "You can come help with my music."

The sound the ivories made were the only lover I needed; Siegnette was enjoying herself too.

I had her playing certain keys, getting her involved, starting to teach her the basics of music theory. If she understood a single thing I taught her, I couldn't tell. I was happy that she was trying and getting stuck in.

Eventually I got her playing what you'd recognise as an Alberti bass. Quickly and with many a wrong note, Siegnette found herself getting more frustrated and gave up with a defeated groan, beginning to sulk.

"It is difficult, Siegnette and you have to persist," I showed her how I played it, "Take your time, you can't rush music. Though if you keep at it and you practice really hard, something wonderful happens."

The simple piece I had been trying to teach Siegnette transformed into a piece that was infinitely more complex.

"This has taken me years to learn and I'm still hitting wrong notes," I deliberately missed a key to stress the point. Siegnette giggled. My acting silly had pulled her from her defeated mood.

With renewed effort, the little one picked up where she had stopped.

I smiled warmly, "Go on, sweetness. You're doing it, now keep playing that."

I joined in over Siegnette.

A little encouragement and a small push, she was having fun.

When we finished I gave her a cheer, because she had genuinely done well. Siegnette had put in the effort and it had paid off.

A request from myself to you, dear reader. If you have children or plan to, get them interested in music. It doesn't matter what kind, just get them interested. I did with mine and it hasn't done them wrong, except Richter. That little shit goes out of his way to hate the music I like.

Siegnette yawned loudly and looked at me sleepily, and up she went, wrapping her arms around my neck.

Shanalotte was waiting for her, telling me off for keeping her up beyond her bedtime.

"Oh pipe down, an extra hour or two isn't going to be detrimental," I laid Siegnette down and pulled the covers up over her. I kissed her forehead and wished her a good night's sleep.

The herald blew out the candles and followed me out of the room.

"When are you taking her back?"

"A few days."

"Alright and I think the pursuer knight is wanting you, von Bayer," Shanalotte caught up to me and I got a good view of her nightdress. Elegantly designed, ornamented with pearls. The material looked light and soft.

"Stop staring and keep me out of your deluded fantasies," She scowled.

"Give over. I'm looking at your nighty, not you," I turned on my heels to face her, "It's of a nice pattern. Who did you steal it from?"

The herald's cheeks puffed out, "I found it in my room's wardrobe. I didn't steal anything."

We left it at that.

Vixen was in one of the drawing rooms, nursing a glass of wine.

"Where's Kitty?"

"The princess is with my sister, sir. Getting drunk and I would like a word," The brute placed down a glass before me, "You have some explaining and just so you're aware, there is no answer I'm willing to accept, sir."

I was in the shit, to use an Americanism. I didn't still believe I was in the wrong and I didn't like how they were getting involved, regardless of Vexa being his remaining family. She and I could work things out on our own.

"Do you really think I want to be fighting with Vex? How many times do I have to tell you I love her, eh?" I knocked back the spirit in one gulp, "I mean, of course I'm upset with her. I pour my heart out to her time and time again, and she can't even say I love you back."

He poured me another and ordered, "Drink."

The strong drink went down as easily as the first, didn't even touch the sides.

I scratched the bridge of my nose, "Surely it would be better if we beat the shit out of each other now and drink later? That is what this is coming to, isn't it?"

Another glass was poured. For a moment I thought of pouring it on the floor in defiance, but that would be a waste of good alcohol.

"Last one," I knocked it back, "Is there a point to this? I was rather hoping to go to bed."

"You're bedroom is currently occupied, sir. You're staying here and drinking with me," He poured the fourth, drained his own wine and replaced it with the spirit.

We drank in silence until the booze started to kick in.

"You two need to stop being daft," Vixen put down the glass, drinking directly from the bottle, "Now, I'll admit I wanted to beat you senseless, sir, but after careful though I have come to the conclusion that it would get us no-where."

The bottle didn't last long. Six more were brought in alongside an absolutely plastered Don Kyris, he never could hold his drink. We left him passed out under the table and continued drinking ourselves.

My own head was thumping and Vix was slumped against over his bottle, light was creeping into the room from behind the curtains.

"I'm guessing the plan was to get us both drunk and into a situation where we'd make up, yes?" I pawed at one bottle, making it spin. It span off the table and shattered.

Vix propped himself up and moaned, "I believe that was the plan, sir."

"Did Kitty talk to you into this?"

The brute nodded and I slid down into the chair, trying to get comfortable and partially because I was also feeling the booze.

"Did you two ever stop to think that myself and Vexa need some time away from each other?"

 _Even lovers need a holiday,_

 _Far away,_

 _From each other_.

I was not however going to run to Vexa and start singing _It's hard for me to say I'm sorry_. Firstly, in the state I was I couldn't have run, my legs had fallen asleep.

Secondly, real life doesn't work like that. Thirdly, _Chicago_ wouldn't release that until 82, I would would've needed to wait a long time.

"You need to step back, brother. Let us work it out," I checked each of the remaining bottles to see if any drink was left, "Same goes with Kitty. Let us apologies in our own time too, don't force it."

Vixen looked over with glazed eyes, "Why are you even fighting?"

The elaborate clock in the room chimed 8, the bell ripped through my skull and had me in agony for a second.

"It was because I'd forgotten her birthday and that spiralled into the little things, and when she couldn't tell me she loved me back, I lost it with her," I let my head hit the table, "That's what got me the most."

"She does, even if she can't say it. I know she does," The brute's head wobbled as he tried to focus on me.

Servants flooded the room, opening all the curtains and blinding myself and Vix.

I looked around the room and under the table, finding I had lost Don. Before I could even start thinking about where he could have gotten to, Katie, Shanalotte and Siegnette walked in.

The Reaper and herald were not impressed with our states.

"Can one of you try and find Don? I'm going to bed," I struggled up, every one of my limbs filled with lead. Katie stepped in my path, "You can't go to your roo-"

"Shhh," I held a finger to her lips, "I don't care. I'm going to my bed."

I tripped over the missing Don in the hallway, before stumbling my way to my room. The curtains were still drawn. Someone had lit the fire, so the room was nice and toasty.

I crawled under the covers and cuddled up with Vexa, taking in the scent of her hair and body.

"Go away," The redhead asked quietly.

"Don't wanna," I mumbled into her neck, "For today, let's just forget we're angry at each other."

Vexa rolled around, tired eyes holding mine.

"Your breath's awful," She pulled her head away.

"Yours isn't much better," I smiled and let her hand hold mine, "It's bad enough to knock out a Gyrm."

I could have sworn she laughed.

"Only for today, mister. Then we go back to fighting, because I'm still really angry with you," The pout appeared and she then rested her forehead against mine, "And missing you."

I could've said the same thing, but I chose to remain silent and press my lips to hers. She tasted of the wine she and Kat had been drinking. Sickly sweet.

We broke apart still smiling, "Don't mistake that for an apology."

Vexa raised an eyebrow, "If you think a single kiss is enough to make things up with me, you're sorely mistaken. You will grovel and beg before me."

"No," I yawned, "Now, I'm hanging something fierce and I need some shut-eye. Does the lady von Bayer think she can wait for an apology?"

The was no reply, only myself being pulled to her breast tightly. I took that as a hesitant yes, not want to fully commit to her possible answer.

I turned over and the redhead wrapped her arms around me.

How do you think I felt when I woke up tied to a chair, with Vexa in front of me holding a whip?

No, no, I joking. It was Vixen.

No, sorry. I'll stop.

She woke before me and when I opened my eyes, she was watching me. I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair. Those crimson locks were like silk, washed recently and shining.

The hangover was persisting.

"How bad do I look?" I croaked.

"Dreadful, mister," She grabbed my wrist, "About as bad as I feel. I think I might be angry with Katie instead of you today."

I freed my hand and with the other got at her waist, pulling her back down and having a bit of a squeeze whilst my hands were down there. I was in the mood to be a bit playful with the redhead and she returned the playfulness in kind.

We became one whole and I fell even harder than I had. Those four corners were our entire kingdom, the room our world. What lay outside was of little matter, that world didn't exist for me.

Hunger proved me a hypocrite and we both ventured forth from the bedroom in the hunt for some dinner.

It was also in our best interest to avoid Katie and Vixen, neither of us wanting to admit their plan had worked. We passed Don, the man having no recollection of the past several days. Although not directly, the earl of Andron expressed his happiness that we were no longer fighting.

We left Don and made headway towards the kitchens hoping that the cooks were still hanging about. There weren't, so it was the case of lifting whatever we could from the pantry and high tailing it back to the bedroom. It's amazing how much you can get stuffed under your doublet.

It was a veritable feast, only that we had nothing to cook half the food on. So it was back to the kitchens for me to lift some iron pans. Vexa had the fire going when I returned and we had one hell of a fry up in the bedroom, in a fireplace not meant for cooking.

A drop of bacon grease and we were fit as fiddles, it's the miracle cure!

Stuffed, myself and the lady von Bayer crawled back into bed. This was where we remained until the following morning, until Siegnette joined us. The little one had gotten away from Shanalotte and had hunted me down, I had ignored her after all for an entire day.

The young Milfanito dived onto the bed, knocking the wind out of myself and startling the half asleep Vexa.

Taking a moment to gather myself, I got Siegnette settled between us. The little one beaming away as she snuggled up under the blanket.

"You can't be doing that, sweetness. You could hurt yourself or whoever is in the bed," From the tone, Siegnette could tell she was being told off.

Vex didn't think I was being stern enough, not that she really had a say in the matter.

I leant over and gave the redhead a quick peck, and told her, "She's too adorable to stay mad at, a bit like you."

"Keep trying, mister. Your flattery will not get you back into my good books," She huffed melodramatically, she couldn't hide the goofy smile however, "I hate that I love you."

"Why are you hiding your face, eh?" I tried to turn her head, but she remained with her face turned away, "You can't be all coy now."

"Don't make fun of me, Jonathan or so help me I'll kick your pale backside out of this bed and we can start fighting again," She delivered the ultimatum with a swift change of expression.

"I would never make fun of you, Vex."

"You lying," She stopped, remember that Siegnette was lying between us, "So and so."

I smirked.

The little one had also noticed that we weren't paying any attention to her and started to fuss. So, I had the task of entertaining my little ward. Try as I might, I could not get Vexa to join in.

So I sat there attempting to keep Siegnette still, hands tightly holding the shoulders of the giggling child.

"You know help would be appreciated, my love. The little monster might be getting the better of me," Or so I let it seem.

With a shake of her head, Vexa got out of the bed and went to open the curtains.

"Come on Vexy, I know you want to join in and play. It's the last chance you get, we're taking her home tomorrow," I hugged Siegnette, "Deep down you want to know what it's like to have a little girl."

Vexa answered straight away, "Not really."

It was a blatant lie, I could sense it.

"She calls me a liar, sweetness," I whispered to the little one, "Well, your auntie Vexa is nothing but a hypocrite."

I emphasised the last word, banking in the little one picking up on it and repeating it, like she had the swear a few days before. When she repeated the word, Vexa scrunched up her face and cursed me.

I praised Siegnette and blew a kiss the redhead's way.

Servant's brought us food and we had another feast in the comfort of our bedroom. You could have easily mistaken the three of us as a real family. Well, we sort of were.

Anyway, the day came that we had to return Siegnette to her sisters and we had to walk all the way. There were no proper roads for a carriage to be driven along.

There had also been reports of basilisks in the forest, so we were careful. Those of us who could carry muskets did, whilst the Kellantine siblings protected Shanalotte and Siegnette.

The little one, energetic as ever, wanted to run about the trees and play and that had me on edge. If there were basilisks, I didn't want her running into one.

She ran past myself and the man next to me, "Siegnette! Stay with Shanalotte."

I must say, it felt nice have have my gear back on and not having to sit in the castle listening to complaints. Then there were the Dranglein nobility, who were engaged in a competition to see who could kiss my arse the most. I was contemplating having them shot the next time they entered my castle.

"Siegnette?" I called. I'm sure you've heard it before, but you should never take your eyes off your children. I couldn't see her anywhere.

I called her name again and when I got no reply, sent the men under my command to search for her.

"Find her!"

Panic mode was set to on.

What if they didn't find her?

What if she got hurt badly?

Why didn't Shanalotte have a better hold of her?

"She's here," One shouted, "The girls fine."

He came out of the bushes holding Siegnette. The little one sniffling, her knee scraped and bleeding.

I handed my gun off to Vix and took the girl, just in time for Whiplash to yell, "Basilisks, right."

A thunderous volley followed, bring down two basilisks.

Whilst the other men we searching the surroundings for any more of the vile creatures, I looked at Siegnette's knee.

"That why you need to be careful, sweetness. Pour that over the scrape," I handed my water-skin to the herald, "This is going to sting a little, be a brave girl."

She hissed as the water washed away the blood and dirt, gripping my sleeve with her hands. A kiss from Shanalotte made it better and I finished up by covering the scrape with one of the bits of cloth I used to tie my hair back.

She was fine ten minutes later running about again, but staying in sight this time.

"Vix. When we get back home, remind me to send a party back to the Gyrm. I want them to make the roads better, so we have better access to more of the land. We also need someone to come in and start clearing these forests."

The brute bowed his head, "Sir."  
We would need the resources, I wanted a navy built. Drangleic last ship had been the carrack that sunk at the Bastille.

Then with the trees stripped we could open mines and strip the land of it's metal.

von Strepp had already sent a company of pioneers to Venn, to seek out the foundries and bring back whatever they could.

There was also talk from the officers of forced conscription to bolster our military in the likely event of invasions. News had spread that the curse and Nashandra were gone, it was only a matter of time. My money was on the Volgens trying it again. Timid my arse, those Volgens were vicious.

The day went on and Siegnette had completely tired herself out, so she was up on my shoulders and then carried by Shanalotte when she fell asleep.

We made good distance, passing the old Dranglein rebel camp at midnight. The following days were smooth sailing, not a monster in sight and we made it easily to the shrine.

Siegnette was back with me. Her smile warmed my heart and she was taking a piece with her.

The look when she saw her sister was even more magical. The elder Milfanito were beyond shocked to see the little one unharmed, the eldest thanking us for bringing her back.

They wanted to reward us. No matter how many times I told her it wasn't necessary, she insisted on us being rewarded.

I lost my chance to back out when Siegnette grabbed my hand and started to drag me further into the shrine.

"Alright sweetness, slow down. My legs only move so fast."

The eldest sister translated and for the first time I discovered what Siegnette was saying.

"Our sister says that you are too slow, and she promises to be careful and not trip this time."

"We'll wait here, sir," Vixen was hanging back at the first building with the men.

I gave a salute and continued to follow the Milfanito.

The eldest sister chatted to me and told me a lot more about the girl. She was around 5 years of age, this signed Nashandra's death warrant.

She had a toddler snatched from her family, that was the final nail.

Siegnette stopped and made the up gesture, I obliged.

I was asked about how she had been treated whilst under our care and the name I had given her, why I had done such?

"Our sister likes her name. It makes her unique amongst us," The elder sister reassured me, when I started to think I had done something wrong by naming Siegnette. She then thanked Vexa and Shanalotte.

We were led into the most intact of the ruins. Even more Milfanito resided within and rushed us, the little one hid her face.

I spoke softly to her, "They're your sisters, sweetness. You don't need to shy away, they're happy to see you."

The eldest translated and Siegnette pressed her face into my neck. She was so young when she had been snatched that she didn't even remember half her sisters.

I secretly think that Siegnette was enjoying the attention and the shyness was all an act; I personally blame Vexa for corrupting the sweet child.

The little one pulled away and reached over for Shanalotte.

"Siegnette's lived like a princess," I laughed, "So you may have to excuse her. My fault, I couldn't stop spoiling her."

The sister looked at me, "We are happy that you have cared for our youngest sister and that she is returned to us. There is no problem. Keep following."

The path went up, skirting around the walls and ending in a smaller shrine. A decorative fountain was the centrepiece. I was told that it could cure any ailment with a simple drink of the water, did that extend to the undead and the curse? Would it have saved her?

Vexa immediately knelt down and took a handful of water, drinking it and claimed she felt much better.

"There ain't nothing wrong with you."

"I'm thirsty."

I removed the canteen Gavlan had given me and passed it down to the redhead. It was empty when she returned it.

The eldest sister took us past the fountain and into the adjacent room, in it were chest stacked high.

"Gold," The Milfanito said, "Left by the souls buried in the crypts. We gift it to you."

"There is no need," I refused.

"We insist," She sounded offended.

Vex and Shanalotte were already rifling through the chests, the latter having a necklace put on and the former holding out a ring to me.

"Put it on me, mister," She dropped the ring in my open hand. It was gold with a silver inlay, aquamarine gemstones set in periodically.

Fixing my target, her ring finger, I slid the ring into place.

"And with this, I do thee wed," I teased, wanting to see her reaction.

Her expression remained fixed, "Liar, now kiss my ring."

I cocked an eyebrow and stood back, "Never again, I'm still having nightmares of the last time."

The next several minutes were spent dodging Vexa's fists to the amusement of the little one, I was in serious danger and Siegnette was in a fit of giggles.

I scooped up the little monster, she was going to have to learn it wasn't alright to laugh at my suffering. She burst into even more giggles.

Behind me I created wraiths to pick up the chests. Then it was time to say goodbye.

I put Siegnette down, knelt and held her in a tight hug, parted her fringe and planting a light kiss.

"Alright sweetness, we have to go now. Be a good girl for your sisters, because if I find out you're not I'll come back and give you a frightfully good telling off," I warned jokingly, "It's been an absolute pleasure to have you in my life, no matter how short our time was."

There were no tears as her sister translated. She did say no to me and after that the same to Shanalotte, then said something to the eldest Milfanito.

"Our sister does not want for you to leave, nor the herald."

I ran my hand over her hair, "Oh, sweet girl. I want you to stay with us, but you belong with your sisters. Tell you what, it's not that far from the castle. I'll try and visit whenever I can. How does that sound?"

Siegnette calmed down when she heard my promise and wanted to know is Shanalotte would do the same. I moved her back and forth with a gentle sway, and Siegnette let go. She immediately ran to the herald and hugged her too.

After letting go of Shanalotte, Siegnette ran behind her sister. Every now and again she would peek out from behind the eldest Milfanito's legs.

"Goodbye Siegnette," We all waved and let my wraiths pass us, we turned and followed them back toward Vixen and the rest. As we walked away I half expected her to call out and come running, it was past the fountain when she did.

"Keep walking," I said, wanting to go back. If Vexa and Shanalotte kept going on, I would too.

Siegnette shouted louder.

I tapped Vexa's arm, "If I start turning back, stop me."

The redhead stopped and picked me up, throwing me over her shoulder.

"Not what I meant, Vexa!" I complained, but was given a good view of her backside.

"If your hands start to wander, Jonathan, I will have to do some terrible things," And she would, I wholly believed her.

We had made up, of course, for the fight we had. She had yet to forgive me for forgetting her birthday. I was not ready for the torment that would come.

"I'm not in that kind of mood, even if I have a beautiful view," Vexa, the walking scandal that she is, had chosen the tightest pair of hose she could be dropped into.

Trust me, that was the only way she was getting in them. Kat held one side, Shanalotte the other and Vexa jumped off the bed into them. I had the fun task of cutting her free.

Before I knew it we were back outside and far away from the little one, the slump began almost immediately.

I had enjoyed having a daughter; it wasn't the last I would see of Siegnette however, but more on that later.

Myself and Vexa changed places, the hose chafing had grown too much for her or so she claimed. Her wanting to be lazy was the real cause.

"Thank you, honey," I rubbed my hand along her thigh, "I really wanted to run back to her."

My thoughts soon overturned when she started faffing with my hair.

I talked with the redhead about trying for an actual baby, but she would hear nothing of it. It would be many years and a drunken one-night stand later. I did keep on pestering her about the subject and in the end had to give up.

She slapped the back of my head, "I said no. Give it up."

"One day," I mumbled under my breath, hoping she would pick up on it.

I forget if I've said, but I've always wanted children. Happiest day of my life was when Khay and Richter were born, mere minutes apart. Then when Alex was born a few years later. Then Urðr (Odin weren't very happy when he discovered who her father was and that she couldn't actually shape the future of people, and for all the years she'd been alive had been talking out her arse.) and Leopold. You get the picture.

I found a little happiness in the fact I was going to execute Nashandra. That would be a treat, not that I would dirty my hands. I'd let the provost do the honours.

It was to be a five part execution, if she lasted that long that is. Firstly she would be flayed alive, then she would be crucified for a day or two. Zimmermann or Zecht would monitor her condition and make sure she did not expire.

Following this, Nashandra was to be cut from the crucifix, then hanged, drawn and quartered. I had a second thought and decided to be the one to disembowel her. Wanted to be the last face she saw before we lopped her head off. I was also one to pass sentence, just to rub the salt in further.

Her dead eyes watched me from behind the mask.

"On the sixth, you will be taken from here to the place of your execution, where you shall be hanged until half dead, have your bowels drawn from your body and burnt before you, before you will be beheaded and your body quartered. Any question, so that we may make your experience less enjoyable?"

Nothing.  
I clicked my fingers and the two provost appeared, grabbing her roughly by the arms. Every movement was painful for her, atrophied muscles straining, joints aching.

Before the reached the end of the dungeon, I called, "I may have neglected to tell you what's to happen first, but you will find it as enjoyable as the rest no doubt."

The old queen made such a delicious noise as her skin was taken away. Vexa was also screaming, at me, once more, the fighting had started again.

Now that Siegnette was back with her sisters all my attention was supposed to be back on her. She wanted me to treat her like a lady and to Vexa that meant, well, a lot of things.

We were taking this faster than we should have been, burning ourselves out again.

"All I'm saying is," Throwing some clothes in my wardrobe, "I think we need time to ourselves, without each other."

Vexa placed both hands on her hips, "And what if another woman steals you away? Or if you decide to find prettier, younger girls?"

I stood in disbelief.

"What younger, prettier girls? If you're talking about Shanalotte, whilst I have deliberated whether or not to ask her to show me her boobs, I've decided I like having all my body parts attached. Don't give me that look! It was a joke."

She proceeded to throw her right boot at me. Poor shot, sailed right over my head and knocked a Jugonese vase from atop the wardrobe. I liked that vase and wasn't too happy to see it in several jagged pieces all over the floor.

With a defeated sigh, I laid down on top of the covers.

"Are we going to do this every week, eh? Cos' we can pack it in right now," I fixed a spot of cracked plaster on the ceiling and focused on that, "Because I'm sick of this, Vex. And I ain't humouring it not more."

The redhead's tall form loomed over me, blotting out what little light was entering the room. Her face was a rock, with eyes narrowed. No hint of emotion betrayed her blank facade.

"I don't want to give this up," She gestured to me.

"We're going to have to work on this then, because neither do I," I traced a crack in the plaster with my eyes. The crack split into a spider-web pattern, the plaster flaking in sections. We could probably whitewash it, I thought. The wood panelling was still in good condition…

The wind was suddenly knocked out of me, Vexa having decided that I looked comfortable and sat down on my tummy.

I slapped her hip with the back of my hand, "Get you're fat arse off me!"

In response, Vexa raised herself up and dropped back down with some force. She wasn't moving and leaning in a manner that put all her weight on me. Her childish side was showing through again, stropping when things weren't going her way.

"If I promise not to run off with a younger, prettier woman. Will you get off me?" I tried sitting up, only to have her push me back.

"Shift ya bum," My accent slipped, as I pushed her as best I could.

"No," The redhead grumbled, "The moment I get up, you'll run off and leave me."

Seriously?

I decided on drastic measures and shadow-danced, not a habit I wanted to feed. I stopped using my abilities for small things like that.

Vexa fell, landing with a soft thud. I caught her before she had a chance to tumble further.

"The hell's got these childish notions in your head? I'm not leaving you for good and I'm not going to run off with someone else, just because we're fighting," I lifted her hand and kissed each finger tip. My reassurance didn't seem to work. She returned the kisses, the first planted in the crook of my neck and on my neck proper, that was when she sunk her teeth in.

I pulled away with my hand on my neck, fuming. That isn't exactly what I called nice, even if I had done it to her at the start of our relationship.

I looked in my mirror, the love-bite was already well defined against my skin.

"You're marked, so other women know they can't have you," She growled into my ear, this new possessive side opening up. Not that a hickey would ever stop me.

"I'm not your property, woman. Now stop being daft, it's a week and a half and not an eternity as you seem to think. Though if you carry on as you are, it will be."

I'm not sure I meant the threat or believed it when I shouted, but I was at the end of my rope. If she wanted to be a child, she could do so without me.

I walked away and stood in at the door, "You, lady von Bayer, are left in charge of this castle until we return. Try not to burn it down or kill every semi-attractive maid when I'm gone."

I knew it was time to leave when my ashtray flew over my head, covering me with it's contents and crashed against the outside wall.

Made it to the throne room and had an idea to take Vexa's mind off things. A servant retrieved for me parchment and I left a letter. Lord Bannier had Dranglein natives who had 'willingly' volunteered for service in the Erebayan colonial army (As it was now being called) coming, with a little luck Vexa could help whip them into shape.

I then went to view Nashandra on her crucifix, in all her truly naked glory. She couldn't get much more off. She hadn't been flayed fully, only mostly. Certain areas had been left with skin on, like her head scarred from the mask.

"I always knew you were beautiful with your clothes off," I took her all in, "But isn't it a bit chilly up there? I mean, I know plenty will have wanted to nail you, but to a cross..."

Not a single word had she spoken since her defeat, unless you count the agonized screams. Probably didn't have the strength, being up on a crucifix is hard work.

The two provost cut the old queen down. She was wrapped haphazardly in bandages and dumped her unceremoniously onto the back of a cart. Zimmermann hopped in afterwards to tend her, making sure she wouldn't buy it on the way to Kholerkine.

Myself, Vixen, Don and Kat crammed ourselves into our carriage and set off. There is only so many times one can play eye-spy before you want to kill the people around you. That being once, for anyone wondering.

The brute and princess soon turned the topic of conversation to me and the missus, and why we were still at each other's throats, and why I was at fault for all of it.

I advised the pair to stay out of it, because I was sick of them getting involved. It would only get worse and we didn't want that.

I ended up sleeping most of the journey, there was precious little else to do. Woke up a few time to find Kat also asleep against me, thick line of spit running down her chin and down the front of my doublet. The image of an angel...sloth comes to mind.

Adorable, but sloth through and through.

This kind of thing happened all the time in Erebay, when I wasn't getting drunk or pretending to be common to avoid being emperor. Good times. And for the few of you thinking what you're thinking, get your minds out the gutter.

Don was awake across from me, watching the scenery outside the door window. He was going to be my man in charge of all mining operations in the area. It was to give the skiving bastard something to do.

The earl saw that I was awake, dipped a hand in his pocket and pulled out a fag. For a moment I thought he was going to hand it to me, but the sod had learned not to hand away his snout for free.

With a satisfied smirk, Don placed to glowing fag between his lips.

Kat began mumbling, a pleasant smile tugged at her lips.

Must have been a nice dream.

Our carriage rolled into Kholerkine around mid-afternoon, myself and the earl drawn from it by a tantalising scent wafting in from the village. Someone was making tomato chutney and we were going to liberate it from where it was being held.

The wifey who was making it was not please when we came barrelling through her door, nor was Katie.

After an apology we left for the scaffold, having lifted several of chutney jars. My goodness, we are awful, but it was so, so tasty.

The garrison left at Kholerkine had all come out and were standing in regimented squares, drummers hammering away on their skins. Nashandra wasn't the only one being executed that day, nobles still loyal to queen who had continued attacking us were strung up all along the roadside. There were also a few peasants who weren't happy that it was a foreign power now in charge of their homeland, regardless of the fact we were the ones who made it so they could return to their homes.

Nashandra was to be the last to die and I was looked forward to it. When her time came she had to be carried to the scaffold, the bandages tinted with flecks of crimson.

She struggled against the noose and like the others hanged that day, soiled herself. It wasn't a pretty sight. The old queen was then cut down and laid flat, and I given the knife.

I'm no skilled executioner and my disembowelling her was sloppy. As long as it hurt, I did't give a damn.

There wasn't much between me throwing her intestines on the fire and the axe being swung. Pure hatred oozed from her, all told to me with her eyes. Even after her head was removed, they were fixed on me. Nightmare fuel.

The body was quickly quartered and prepared for transport to different parts around Drangleic, the head was to remain with us and taken back to the castle. The reign of Nashandra was over, permanently.

The body parts were thrust into the air once, followed by a roaring cheer by the local garrison. Cheers for me, cheers for the empire, cheers for the final victory! This was followed by a good old piss up. This was much to the annoyance of the returned natives, although two or three did join us in the end.

"That one's giving you the eye," Don pointed out, knocking back his drink, "You should pull her before someone else does. Have a dance."

I 'tsked', "I know where that leads and I'm not giving Vexa the satisfaction of being right."

I proceeded to show off the redhead's love-bite, fading as it was. I wanted to stay faithful and I would damn well be so.

I danced with Kat in the end, cheek to cheek around the bonfire erected to the west of the town.

"I hate to dump this on you, Kitty-Kat. I need you to go on a diplomatic mission to the neighbouring kingdoms," I said, as we came to the end of our dance, "I want you to go to Mirrah first, see if Lucatiel has any family remaining there."

I trusted only Katie with my request, no one else I felt could do what I wanted. She was a Reaper after all.

The princess agreed, on the condition I helped her find her favourite teddy-bear that had disappeared under mysterious circumstances. I love the fact that her first thought was to throw suspicion at me.

"I know you know something, Jonathon-Fredrick," She narrowed eyes.

"I know plenty of things, Kat. One of those things is the teddy don't belong to you no more," I had given it to Siegnette.

The princess was put into a murderous mood, only worsened because I couldn't stop myself laughing at her 'angry' face. It took some work and many a promise to calm her down. I personally think she's way too old to be playing with teddy-bears, but who am I to judge.

We danced the rest of the night away, retiring at a rather reasonable time. I avoided the hangover. The following morning we left for another village renewed with life, and the first place we were leaving part of Nashandra. Then it was to the largest of the walled cities, gates now reopened.

Four of those walled cities we had to crack, they refused to acknowledge my sovereignty and that the curse was vanquished. One opened when we revealed Nashandra's head, the others we came back to. The army did at least.

The expected week and a half turned into three and a half, because it turned into a royal tour of Drangleic. My mind was always on Vexa, in one way or another.

It was not her who greeted us when we returned but Shanalotte, who had made herself comfortable on my throne. To my surprise Siegnette was also with her, smiling her toothy smile.

With a great leap, the little one latched on and squeezed.

"What are you doing here, sweetness?" I ashed her, but was looking at the herald for my answer. I was handed a letter, written in rather pathetic Dranglein. It also looked like Kat had written it, more scribble than words.

"Still can't read this fully, you know," I passed it back.

Shanalotte forced a groan, "It says that the Milfanito would like us to continue looking after Siegnette. She refused to settle and cried because we had left her. She also did the same when you weren't here."

I frowned, "I told you to be a good girl. Crying to get your way isn't being a good girl."

The waterworks were already starting to go, which I shut down straight away. When that didn't work Siegnette went into a Vexa esque strop.

For that I told her off, "It doesn't work when your auntie Vexa does it and it ain't working for you. Now stop it."

The next step in her plan was to act all friendly and cute, step three in the Vexa Kellantine school of getting ones own way.

She was getting dangerously close to the inappropriate steps and if she reached them, I was going to kill my partner.

Thankfully the little one stopped at step three, becoming embarrassed and hiding her face in the crook of my neck. I gently placed my cheek against the top of her head and returned the embrace Siegnette had started with.

"If it's what your sisters want, I don't think I can say no," I whispered, cupping the back of her head with my free hand.

Shanalotte cleared her throat, "So we're not taking her back again?"

I told her I didn't know. I was feeling terribly selfish, I had my little girl back. Adopted yes, but that has never mattered to me. It was the same with Athena. She might be Zeus' child, but she's my daughter.

"So where's the missus? Not ran away has she?" I rather hoped she hadn't.

The herald looked at me disinterested, "In bed. Not feeling well. Left me in charge."

Any new developments could wait until later, I had to go see my love and make sure she was alright.

Prying Siegnette off of me and handing her back over to the herald, I left for my room.

Vexa was fast asleep, sweating feverishly. I sat and watched over her.

It wasn't that long before she got well.

You want to know what her first words were when the fever broke? Did you bring me anything back?

Can you believe that?

"I brought myself, be grateful," Was my answer.

The redhead shifted round and planted her head on my lap. We talked well into the night and admitted to each other that both of us had been silly. I knew that some time away would do us good.

The fighting continued the week after.

And can you believe it, 11 years past by like the snap of the fingers. I certainly couldn't believe it. If 268 had passed in the year between me coming to Drangleic and my people turning up, how my had passed on the outside in the roughly fourteen years I'd been stranded?

Drangleic was prospering, we having either made friends with our neighbours or had beaten them stupid. We got our revenge on the Volgens on the sea. Carracks gave way to great and middling ships, fully rigged and heavily armed. The Volgen Galleasses stood no chance.

Eleum Loyce, Alken and Venn were all under imperial rule. The great foundries working around the clock, no longer producing only iron, but steel and bronze.

Our land army had similarly evolved. Gone were the awkward matchlocks, doglocks were in. It was still a case of pike and shot, just the guns had changed, along with new standardised uniforms.

We had our share of losses along the way, but we were the dominant power on the continent and it's surrounding seas.

All was as it should have been.

Hail the empire!

Glory to the empire!

So on and so forth.

I did visit Mirrah, but I'll save that story for a bit later.

What else?

Oh, Siegnette. Yes, my sweet little girl didn't stay small and cute for long. Unfortunately, I say with a tear in my eye, she became a teenager...I'm sorry, it's too much…

You know, it's that age where they become difficult. It starts a 13 and never ends. She had grown into a fine young woman and very much like her adoptive mother, a right royal pain in the backside. Her pass times consisted of fighting with me, fighting with Vexa, fighting with Shanalotte, fighting with Vixen etc. Every time I looked at her, I was left wondering what she had done with the old Siegnette.

It was also around this time that the boys started taking notice, especially the sons of the Dranglein nobility.

She was 16, turning 17 in a few months, and I was starting to have a hard time keeping her under control. It all blew up one evening when we were hosting foreign dignitaries.

"Don't make a scene," I said, pulling her to one side, "I raised you to be much better than this."

We were masked by the shadows, I didn't need prying eyes watching everything.

The young Milfanito snatched her hand back and threw it up, "If you let me have fun once in awhile, then maybe I wouldn't."

"Don't you argue, Siegnette," I wagged a finger, starting to get angry, "And what's this nonsense about not letting you have fun? That's just being daft, sweetness."

My adopted daughter stamped her foot, "Why do you keep calling me that? I'm not a little girl any more."

"Wrong," I cut in before she could say anything else, "You will always be my little girl, no matter how old you get. Now stop being daft, act your age and behave yourself before the guests."

My words entered one ear and passed straight out the other; her next stamp was aimed at my foot and hit it squarely. Pain shot up my leg, I couldn't believe Siegnette had done that.

The young Milfanito stormed off, tossing some colourful words back at me. No doubt she learned them from a certain redhead.

I took a step and was stopped, Shanalotte had her hand on my shoulder, "Leave her be. I'll talk to her later."

The eleven years had been kind to the herald, a few wrinkles here and there and the odd grey was showing through, but she was still a beauty. Her attitude had changed little however.

"It's your fault anyway, you spoiled her too much," She crossed her arms. I had no real defence against that, for it was true.

I let myself slouch, feeling a weight press down on my shoulders. As you have no doubt heard, parenting is difficult.

Shanalotte covered her eyes with her hand and took a breath, "Good gods, stop pouting. It's not a face I ever wanted to see. There's a party seeking your audience, go distract yourself with them."

More twats wanting things from me. I'd humour them for ten minutes, then go back to the party.

I met with Vexa along the way, linking our arms. The redhead was dressed beautifully, the gown was crimson and gold, and really showed off her figure.

She asked where our little bundle of sunshine was and like Shanalotte, told me off for spoiling her for all those years.

We weaved our way through the foreign dignitaries pushing towards the throne room. Vexa's tiara was catching the light, giving her a halo. My lady, would be lost without her.

"Do you fancy going to the estate when everyone has buggered off?" It had been so long since the two of us had had some alone time. Vexa considered the proposal, accepting instantly. She also threatened me, in case I changed my mind before it happened.

She then asked, "Will you dance with me later?"

"Sure, I'll dance you right out of that dress."

"If you're lucky. I think I'm getting a headache, Jonathan," She pressed her hand to her right temple. What bullshit, she was smiling from ear to ear.

A servant announced us as we entered the throne room and took our seats. There were two of them seeking an audience, one a rather well endowed 'lord' and the other a 'pygmy' wrapped in a cloak of crow feathers. Both ladies, I should add.

"Can we keep this brief ladies? I have a daughter to yell at and a wife who I want to spend time with," I tried my best to look bored.

The 'lord' stepped forward with her two friends, Vexa delivering a swift swat when my eyes lingered.

"We are looking for someone to retrieve someone very special for us," The tall woman said.

The other then stood forward, "They say you were to one to break this land's curse and we have watched you since. We think you can do it."

They had been watching me for eleven years. Isn't that strange?

I snapped my fingers and in flooded my soldiers, muskets at the ready. The two women were surrounded.

I got off my throne and lit up a fag, walking around both 'lord' and 'pygmy' weighing them up.

"I don't particularly enjoy when gods turn up unannounced, especially not at my doorstep. So, would the lady Gwynervere please explain why the pair of you are really here?"

I had seen the old man's memories before he passes, seen enough to know the daughter of Gwyn when she was in front of me.

"Take your hand off your rapier. If you would be so kind, Velka," The other one, I had to guess and by the way she scrunched up her face, I was correct.

I had the closest man disarmed her, and tossed the slender blade over. I tested it, finding the rapier to be of good length, weight and balance.

Kitty could have it as a present. I'd be damned if I was allowing another god, that wasn't one of us, to have a weapon around me.

The goddess of sin pulled a face not to dissimilar to Shanalotte and through gritted teeth said, "We have just told you. You insolent upstart."

Is that what I was?

"You are as rude as our spies have told us," The elder goddess continued, "We need someone retrieved and we want you to do it."

"No," I returned to my throne, "Now, please fuck off."

Velka let go a low, guttural growl, "That is not what we want to hear! A damned upstart like you should show more respect."

My sergeant major, Whiplash, was at the side of the room closest to the doors. I nodded and he fired his gun over the heads of the women.

The fire was deafening and the smoke cloud coughed forward filled all available space.

"Next one will blow your head off, so mind your tone. In this room are three separate pantheons, mine's the oldest. Knock it off with the upstart bullshit," From my waistcoat I pulled a pocket watch, it was a little after half 6, "How important is this person and what are you willing to offer me in return?"

If they didn't answer, I would have them shot for wasting my time.

"Why they are important is of little concern to you. If it is gold you are after, we have more than enough to pay you with," Velka said bluntly.

I shut down the first offer. Didn't need any more gold, had more than enough. I linked fingers with Vexa and asked her if I should take their request seriously. She told me that If I wanted sex that evening then yes, I should stop acting like a twat.

The two goddesses watched on, one with a sour face and the other kept glancing around the room looking for someone amongst the soldiers.

"I would offer myself," Gwynervere muttered.

"And I would have to decline," The second offer shocked me, "I'm aware that me peers and predecessors may have accepted that offer, but not myself madam. If you've spies watching me all this time then surely you know what I want more than anything else. If not, I will have you shot for wasting my time and thrown in the river."

In reality they would be ejected from the castle and country, didn't want to risk starting a war with the native gods.

The goddess of sin sucked on her teeth and placed her hand on her chin, "There is a place where the fabric of reality is weak. It is possible for traversal between, but only one way. As there is in this land. Do as we ask and we will reveal where."

Then from within her cloak, the goddess of sin produced a peculiar doll and dropped it in my lap.

"We need time to discuss your proposition, Ladies. Please, make yourselves comfortable and join in with the festivities. The sergeant major will escort you," If there was the slightest chance I could get myself and my people out of that shithole, I was going to take it.

The general consensus was not to trust the two goddesses, which I wholly understood. The offer seemed too good to be true.

It was then decided that even if it was a lie, we could always take the land for our own and expand the empire further.

The two goddesses were returned to the throne room and given the news.

Lordran was our destination, all the way on the other side of the world. I was going to get the chance to see the old man's homeland.

"She is being held in one of the cathedrals in Anor Londo, the city no longer being under the control of the gods."

From what the old man had told me, only the youngest son had remained in the dying kingdom and now a foreign army had taken up residence outside the great walls. Why? The two goddesses didn't know, but it was going to make it difficult to get inside and find this person.

Good thing we agreed to mobilise the entire army. It would take a year to prepare the expedition, due to the amount of men we were shifting from one continent to another.

Velka bowed low, "We thank you and will have maps prepared before you leave."

"Please leave all of that to viscount von Strepp. He will discuss any and all further details with you," I looked over to Marius, he would be commander, "I will permit you use of the guest rooms. I wish you a good night."

The group dispersed with the exception of Gwynervere.

"I had been told that the dragon slayer Ornstein was in Drangleic. Is he not here?" She asked, looking around the room like earlier.

"Did you come in to Drangleic through Majula?" I started to play with the ring on my index finger. The daughter of Gwyn gestured yes.

"Well, you passed him. He's the one on the hill," I looked her in the eyes, "The old man's been gone awhile."

She fell to her knees, sobbing openly.

I sympathised, but said nothing. I instead left the ring to her, it was his wish after all that if I ever happened across Gwynervere of Lordran.

I left for bed, leaving the goddess under Kat's care.

Vexa was already under the covers, it was very late. I was none too happy, I had been looking forward to my time with Vex. Instead I was greeted by a sheepish looking Siegnette waiting outside my bedroom door.

With slight movements, the young Milfanito inched closer.

"Sweetness?" I raised an eyebrow. She hugged me, her face hidden and half mumbled her apology. Even with all changes, she was still the same little Siegnette. She always did this after being told off or when she knew she had done something wrong.

"Can I stay with you and mother tonight?"

"If you can find space on the bed," I opened the door, allowing Vexa's snore out, "As you can hear, the beast has taken up residency. And if your mother says anything, blame me for spoiling you."

"Okay," Her lips wobbled a little, "And you shouldn't be so mean to mother. You snore too."

I do no such thing!

The girl would pay a high price for such an insult, something devious. I'd tell the young lord she'd become infatuated with all the embarrassing stories about her when she was younger. There would be hell to pay, if I actually went through with it.

I instead ruffled her hair and told her to shut up. The two of us then clambered into bed, the redhead waking and taking hold of our adopted daughter, not even questioning why she was there.

There was something now I would have to discuss with her. I knew what I wanted, that didn't mean the same thing for Siegnette.

The following morning, after getting her away from Vexa, I sat her down and explained the situation.

"You're leaving?" She looked worried, betrayed even, "You mean like on a royal visit to a neighbouring kingdom?"

"Not like that, sweetness. I've told you before I'm not from Drangleic, and I think this could be my chance for me and my people to finally go home," I tried to explain.

Siegnette wouldn't hear it, telling me that Drangleic was my home and I didn't need to go anywhere. The fear of being abandoned was a strong one.

Vexa tried next, getting no further than I did.

My main concern was taking her where we'd be fighting, I couldn't put her in danger. Vexa wouldn't either.

She locked herself in her room, refusing to speak to anyone but Shanalotte. Though even she was forced away.

Still, preparations went forward. There was a decree that the throne was to pass to the herald after we were gone and that Siegnette was to fall under her legal guardianship. This didn't sit well with either party.

One afternoon, as I was trying on (inflating my ego by admiring) my new uniform. We'd ditched the doublets, ruffs and the like. The uniform consisted of a wool long-coat, black in colour with the facings and cuffs being a royal purple, under that was a white-linen shirt. Full length breeches were swapped with trunked breeches and wool stocking. Our boots were replaced with square-toed, buckle shoes. To finish the look off our helmets were taken and we were given cocked (tricorn) hats.

I thought to myself 'the perfect image of the modern soldier' and pulled a few poses with my new musket. The men had all started to queue their hair like mine, because some thought it was fashionable.

I must have looked a right fool because someone was sniggering behind me, the bairn had sneaked up on me.

"Oh, so she does come out her room!" I feigned surprise, "Vex, come quick! That spirit I've been telling you about has appeared."

The redhead poked her head through the door and joined in, "It almost looks like Siegnette, but it can't be. She's still in the huff with us, Jonathon."

Our daughter stamped her foot a few time and balled her fists.

"I've decided I'm coming with you," She put on haughty airs, again my fault for treating her like a princess for 11 years. There was to be no changing her mind and if we tried to leave without her, she would stowaway on whatever vessel we took. Even if she had to cut her hair, put on a uniform and blend in, she would find a way to follow us.

The stubbornness she'd picked up from both of us.

"Alright," I said, holding up my hand to silence Vexa, "But know this, you're going to be pushed far beyond your comfort zone and you cannot turn back because it gets hard. I've done nothing but coddle you and that's going to stop now. Me and your mother are going to push you harder than you ever thought possible."

From my place in front of the mirror, I walked over to the oak dresser at the side of the room. In one of the draws lay a wheellock pistol. It was a heavy gun with an equally heavy recoil, I handed it over barrel first to the young Milfanito.

"Follow me."

Vexa blocked me, "You are not teaching her how to use that."

If she was wanting to come with us, she was going to have to learn how to protect herself. I mean, if Vexa wanted to babysit her she could. The redhead would be working more in a command capacity anyway.

She held out her hand, "Give me that thing. Your father is not allowing you to use it. Siegnette, now!"

The girl didn't need to be told twice, not wanting to risk making Vexa angry. She handed the gun over, which was in turn handed back to me. I would end up teaching her on the sly.

Vexa took her place behind our daughter and placed her hand atop her head, "She will not leave my side. If she does, she will get a smacked backside. I don't care how old she is."

I wouldn't put it past the redhead to do it. Even so, her eyes were asking for help.

Normally I would be defending her, but I had to stand my ground.

"You yourself said it, you were coming with us no matter what. That means you listen to everything your mother and I say," I slotted the pistol into my belt, "You have to tell your sisters however, in fact we'll head off now. Start getting you used to walking long distances."

From the men garrisoned at the castle, we found a set of practical clothes that fit her. It was her first time wearing something that wasn't a dress and she didn't enjoy it. She was a big girl, you understand. Not fat, just after 11 years of living in luxury she was prone to plumpness. It's rude of me to say such things, but she was. The clothes were a snug fit.

Three hours into the trek rivulets of sweat were pouring down her face. To be fair to the girl, it was a scorcher of a day and I was in a similar state.

"Why would anyone choose to do this?" Siegnette complained, face flushed red.

"What? Use their legs?" I chuckled, "Goodness, sweetness. It's almost like you were carried everywhere."

Vexa snorted, "She was, Jonathon."

Only a little.

Vixen would have to shoulder some of the blame too, he also couldn't say no to Siegnette. He never seemed to get told off for it though.

The next thing our little girl complained about was the lack and quality of the food we'd taken with us.

Her whining was starting to get on our nerves.

Vexa's patience went first, I following suit not long after. We told her, plain and simple, that if she continued to act like that, she wasn't coming with us.

As night fell, the three of us stayed in the old soldier camp, Vexa pointing out the old amphitheatre.

"Your father shot me here. Did you know that, Siegnette?"

"Bloody hell, your not still upset about that?" I asked, tossing a rabbit bone into the fire. I took over the tale, "I didn't know it was your mother, she was in full armour. I paid dearly for it too. Your uncle punched me and your mother dislocated my jaw in response."

"Blondie kicked you a few time," Vexa added.

"Only because you kept flashing your boobs and flirted with me," I reminded her, "Luca got surprisingly jealous."

The redhead exhaled through her nose and pointed, "You flirted as well, no wonder she was jealous. I know I would be."

Did I tell you that she fired a maid from the household staff because I said thank you to her, no? The woman takes jealousy to the extremes.

That conversation started a minor argument between us. Siegnette told us to stop and if we didn't there would be lots of trouble. She crawled over and nestled herself between us.

If I were a proper noble Siegnette would have already been promised to someone, an arranged marriage already sorted. I'm not though, so I was happy to still have her with Vexa and I.

She rested her head against the redhead's arm.

"Please don't fight," She said.

We reassured her that it wasn't serious.

"I love your father."  
"And I love your mother," I mirrored.

Vexa turned her head to Siegnette, "I also hate your father's guts."

"I would never go that far," I said overtop.

Vex stuck her tongue out at me and I made an obscene gesture over our daughter's head. Thank goodness she didn't see it, for I got a good telling off from Vexa.

Myself and Vexa continued to talk about ourselves, knowing that we had told her very little in the time that we had raised her. She had a good laugh, much to Vexa's chagrin.

I pulled my daughter into a hug, telling her that we weren't doing this to be nasty. I didn't want to leave her, but if she couldn't keep us with us...well, there would be nothing we could do. She would have to stay.

I kissed the top of her head, "We love you, sweetness. You may have come to us by strange means, but you're our little girl."

You should have seen the smile on her face, it warmed the blackened, tar covered heart of mine. Siegnette has the most beautiful brown eyes, which I think compliment her straw-yellow hair. I would thing such, but if you disagree you are definitely wrong.

The girl wiggled out of my grasp and had a cuddle with her mother. The pair went to sleep in one of the old huts. I stayed awake, going over my gun a few times, getting used to all it's new parts.

A patrol from one of the forts passed by in the early morning on their way to the castle, the officer stopping and having a word. The new imperial style of road had made traversal so much easier, as he was telling me, the time it took to get places had been reduced.

"If your majesty wishes, I can have a few of my men accompany you. It doesn't seem right the royal family be out alone like this," He took out a clay pipe and lit it.

"We'll be fine, captain. We can handle ourselves," I fumbled at my cartridge box, "Though your men can help me with a live fire exercise."

"This early in the morning, your highness?" The captain looked confused.

"No better time," We didn't have alarm clocks and those two would sleep forever, if given the chance. A quick glance at my pocket watch told me it was 5:45.

The captain had his men and I form up outside the hut in which my two girls were sleeping. The only noise coming from a trio of coal tits were chirping away, perched on the thatched roof.

Our orders were given in a hushed voice and on the present we raised our muskets to the sky. The fun part came next, the order to give fire.

A thunderous cacophony boomed through the early morning air.

"You may want to stand back now, lads," I caution them, steeling myself for the pain I was going to endure, "Actually lads, I'd turn and run."

Not a moment later Vexa burst out, with Siegnette behind her. Both in absolute disarray sprinted smack bang into me.

There was suddenly a pressure around my throat, Vexa had figured out what had happened.

"Look away, sweetheart. I'm about to murder your father," She told Siegnette, then exploded at me, "A simple 'wake up' would have done, Jonathon!"

I looked to our daughter, she could be my saviour. I was out of luck, Siegnette was in a daze. She wasn't even aware that there was a 5:50 in the AM.

The captain's men, as per my suggestion, had started to back off. All knowing full well that Vexa had a horrible temper on her.

I was let go, after some negotiation, and we parted ways with the company of soldiers. They also received a tongue lashing for going along with my whims.

With a yawn Siegnette took my hand, "Mother is angry with you."

"Your mother's always angry with me, for some reason or another. Don't worry about it. And anyway, it was cruel of me to have you woken that way," I gave her hand a squeeze, "But you'll have to get up earlier than that if you're coming with us."

I regaled her of my years working down the mines, starting just after midnight and working 'til after midday. As I expected, the girl questioned why I, an emperor, would want to do any physical kind of work other that political. I gave her the straight answer I hated being emperor, but no one else wanted to do it. I will find someone someday, so I can ditch Zoey and run off with Kitty,

Terrible of me to say, forgive me.

The girl proclaimed that she didn't understand me.

With wide eyes, Siegnette looked up at me and changed the subject, "I know mother said I couldn't, but would you teach me how to use that gun?"

"As long as you don't tell her, because if you tell her, I die. Hold this for a moment," I held out the musket and she took it willingly, I then lit up a fag and walked away.

She would learn eventually.

"Take it back, it's heavy," Siegnette whined, trying in vain to get me to accept the gun back, "Father, don't be cruel."

She sprinted as hard as she could to catch me up, losing her balance and falling arse over elbow. I stopped, waiting for her to get up, but she laid there and huffed.

I stooped down and pulled her up, taking the gun back in the process.

"Gonna have to try harder, sweetness. Because at the moment I'm not convinced," She wasn't making a very good case fore herself, "Stop stropping. You're sixteen, not six."

The girl straightened up, "Sorry, father."

"No, not sorry. Stop doing it," Vexa said something similar later on that day.

She and I had another discussion once Siegnette had gone to sleep, once more the topic being around allowing her to come. We never came to a conclusion and ended drifting off in each other's arms. Vexa refused to let go the following morning, roping in Siegnette to also keep me pinned down.

My new shoes were causing me problems; two rather large blood-blisters had formed on my left foot. My cries to leave them alone were met with a cold stare and being told not to be such a big girls blouse (not her actual words).

My heart stopped beating the moment the redhead removed the knife from her belt. I screwed my eyes closed and turned my head away.

"All done."

I opened my eyes to Vexa shaking her head, "Pathetic, Jonathon. Now, hold Siegnette down."

A quick reversal and she was powerless, I couldn't watch that either.

"Why are you closing your eyes?" The redhead asked.

"Because I don't like watching that kind of thing. Watched ya brother lance a boil once and vomited."

I know, I've extracted arrows from myself with ease, but blisters, boils, spots and the like make me queasy.

"Next time, I want no fuss. Do you hear me, John!"

I swallowed, "Yes, dear. Loud and clear."

She then went on to berate Siegnette about proper foot care. The growling of our daughter's stomach put an end to the lecture. I lifted some pears and apples from a nearby orchard, the farmer and farmhands finding me.

I vaulted the fence, in the distance Siegnette asked Vexa why I was running.

I could hear the farmer cursing the existence of soldiers; looking back over my shoulder they had ignored my two girls, both of who would deny any knowledge of me if asked.

My escape came in the form of a patrol, I blended in seamlessly.

Eventually my girls got their breakfast, albeit bruised and battered. Tasted all the same, is what they told me. Vexa had knocked my teeth in for that little stunt.

With that, she had finally worked that anger out of her system, meaning we could continue on as normal. It wasn't going to take us more than two hours to reach the shrine.

Siegnette was off in front, full of energy at the prospect of seeing her sisters.

A cool breeze dulled the heat, making it a pleasant day.

Not far from the shrine's entrance I felt Vexa's hand working its way down the small of my back, continued down and started to feel about.

"Whilst I'm not opposed to this, my love, can we not do this with the child ten foot in front?" I placed my free hand on her own backside, only for a moment mind you.

Vexa clicked her tongue, "I'm not copping a feel, Jonathan. I'm trying to find that flask you always carry."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to have asked?"

"Alright, I saw an opportunity and I took it whilst also looking for that flask," Her hand moved up and around my waist, "Hand it over."

"Left it," I only had the canteen Gavlan had gifted me and it was full of water, "You'll have to do without, my love."

With that she started nipping at me, getting faster as she went.

"Is this annoying, Jonathon? It's annoying, isn't it? I'm annoying you, aren't I? Aren't I?"

I had to put down my musket, her attack only growing more fierce. There was little I could do to stop the blows, other than standing tall and never showing fear. You show fear and you lose, especially with a woman like Vexa.

"You're getting annoyed now, you really are Jonathon," She continued, "You deserve this, every bit of it. For all the pain you put me through."

There was only so much I could take, so pulled her down for a good snog. That completely threw off any further attacks and left her open for a counter.

Soon we were up against a tree, Vexa having wrapped her arms around my middle; Siegnette looking on in horror. There was no hanky-panky going on, Siegnette just didn't like it when myself and Vexa showed the slightest affection towards each other.

It wouldn't be long, I thought, before she demanded I carry her. It wasn't long at all, Vexa snatched the cocked-hat from my head, put it on her own and clambered up.

I smiled at our daughter, "Your mother has decided to be lazy and I'm now seeing where you get it from."

The young Milfanito stood slack-jawed, her face fell and she looked away.

"Yes, father," She mumbled, "But I wouldn't blame mother, nor would I try to pass the blame onto her."

Vexa whispered in my ear, "A good girl, knows where her loyalties lie."

"What did you bribe her with?"

"The chance to try some of that cocoa drink from Lanafir."

"The stuff you wouldn't let me have a try of because it was expensive to import?"

"Exactly."

I could hear her grinning in victory, another one over on me.

Siegnette coughed forcefully, "Can we go inside now?"

Whilst our daughter talked with her real sisters, myself and Vexa went on towards the crypt. She wanted to pay her respects to Vendrick.

"Twelve years, John," She stared into the space the king of Drangleic had occupied, now a simple headstone marked the spot.

I stroked her back, "You say that like I'm leaving you after twelve years."

"We're leaving Drangleic, our home and we're not coming back, are we?"

If there was a way out, then no. I was ready to be shot of the damned country. It was still hard on the Kellantine siblings and I assume for the other Dranglein natives that had declared for us.

"Don't worry, Vex. You'll love Erebay as much as you do here. In fact it's even more beautiful than you can imagine," I started to daydream, I could see the rolling hills covered in white grass and the stars casting diamonds on the eternal night's sky.

I wanted to spend a lazy afternoon by one of the hidden brooks, me and Vexa and preferably without clothing.

"Jonathon," The redhead broke me from my trance, "I know that look and I'm telling you, whatever it is, it's not happening."

She couldn't take the fantasy away from me.

Together we went down to the grave. On top of the headstone Velstadt's helmet was placed, the aegis still watching.

The stone itself was moss covered, obstructing the text carved into the face. I went to brush the stone clean and was gripped by a familiar nausea. That damned ashen mist.

I was stood face to face with Vendrick himself, both equally surprised to see each other. There was little we said, although he asked about his 'Shandra' and the fear he had if she was successful. The old king telling me about the daughter of the dark, the fragment of one much older, a creature the old king called Manus.

He was neither happy nor was he upset when I told him Nashandra, to me, had been dead for over a decade.

"And the crowns?" Vendrick seemed more concerned about them.

"In my possession, I am the king of Drangleic, Venn and Eleum Loyce after all," Shulva had been left to rot, "Yet no-one, for the many years I've been here, has been able to come up with a reason why those crowns in particular were so damned important. Perhaps you could enlighten me?"

"A means to escape the curse, my brother's lifework."

How four lumps of metal would've helped was, surprise surprise, beyond me. Absolutely nothing could be simple.

I had a feeling that it had something to do with the giants kidnapped and experimented on.

There was no more I wanted to do with him, it was now a matter of waiting until the mist wore off.

I felt no pity for this man and glad he was no longer of the world.

When the mist faded I fell into Vexa's arms. The redhead was in a panic, me having disappeared so spontaneously, checking me over.

The cold, quiet dark of the crypt help a lot with the horrid after effect of the ashen mist heart. Vexa's heartbeat too was a soothing factor.

I don't know how long we stood together, long enough I suppose.

"You can let go now, Vexa. Siegnette will be thinking we've ran off," I attempted to brake away, but Vex kept her iron grip of me, "We've still the estate to go to. Me and you, no Siegnette, Vixen, Shanalotte, Katie, so on and so forth, to distract us. Little chance of the mist heart disappearing me. We get Siegnette back and we head straight off. Is that a plan?"

I didn't get an answer, but from the way her ruby lips parted and the warmth radiating from behind her eyes, I didn't need one.

The little miss was being petulant, not happy that we had taken so much time to get back to her. The Milfanito barely recognising Siegnette, the eldest none too pleased with her haughty attitude.

They put up no allusions that they wanted her returned, I don't think they considered her Milfanito any more.

I wasn't impressed with her conduct around her sisters and I would have to agree with them, she wasn't one of them.

"Go wait outside for us and don't argue," I put my foot down, I would have no more of it from her.

"But father," Siegnette stood defiant.

"But father nothing. Outside," I directed her to the path that led back up top.

In a sulk she stormed off.

I quietly apologised to the eldest Milfanito. The woman sat with a vacant look on her face, "We understand our sister's upbringing was different to our own. We left her in your care and we continue to leave her in your care. We will...surely miss our sister, but she will not be the last one."

Vexa tugged at my sleeve and with a smile said, "Let's leave them be, John."

On our way out we passed a funeral procession, it was guided by one other the other sisters. They ignored us as we stood in respect for the dead.

The evening's breeze was inviting, clear blue sky a welcome ceiling. I hated Drangleic, but there was no denying it's beauty.

Siegnette was sat on a felled tree trunk looking rather scruffy, with buttons undone and shirt untucked. Her chubby face flushed red, chest heaving, a testament to how unfit she was.

"If that's winded you, you're going to hate the journey back," I pulled her up, "It's all up hill. Straighten yourself up, tuck your shirt in and get ready for the hard part."

"Yes, father," She mumbled, whilst looking at her mother.

I said nothing, ushering her forward. Vexa in lockstep with me, still fearing I could vanish into thin air once more.

For hours we walked until it was well and truly dark; our lodgings, an old shepherd's hut. It stank of damp, spiders clung to every rafter and when I woke, I found a ram chewing on my blanket. The old shepherd was none too pleased to find us either.

I paid the man off, no matter how many times we told him, he refused to believe that I was the king of Drangleic.

Vexa went off in search of some fresh meat and ordered Siegnette to keep an eye on me.

Once she was out of sight, I picked up my musket and walked off in the opposite direction.

Siegnette began to fuss, "Mother told you to stay put."

"Come on, you should know by now that I don't listen to your mother," I swivelled round, walking backwards, "But if you want a chance to use my gun, you'll follow and not tell your mother."

Some distance away I set up several empty earthenware bottles and loaded the piece.

"Alright, nice and tight into the shoulder. Keep a good hold of it and don't be afraid when it goes off," I demonstrated with the first shot, the bottle exploding as the ball struck it. Siegnette watched in awe, years of use made it look easy.

When she was ready I gave her the gun.

Took me right back to myself and Luca with the Iron king's thunder-lance, outside of Majula, in the freezing cold. I enjoyed that time with her, and I was enjoying this time with my daughter.

Siegnette tried to fire, but she found the trigger pull too heavy.

"Help," She frowned.

"Of course, sweetness," I took up the gun up and saw that her problem wasn't the trigger pull, the dog was still engaging the cock, she hadn't pulled it to the full position.

"On the count of three."

We counted down together. On the one the gun jumped and the top of the second bottle was blown away.

The young Milfanito started giggling to herself and with a quivering voice, asked for a second shot. If you've ever fired a gun you know how intoxicating it can be and I wanted to to give her that second shot, but an evil feeling presence pricking at the base of my neck halted me.

I took the gun back and whispered, "I don't want to alarm you, sweetness. Me and you are going to need to start running, as fast as we can go."

"Why?"

"Your mother's found us."

I dared not turn around, fearing what face I might see. I gave Siegnette a push, telling her to save herself, my life was forfeit.

"You're damn right your life is forfeit, Jonathon," Came the seething reply from Vexa, a brace of pheasant in her hands, "And if you move but an inch Siegnette, I'll..."

The redhead trailed off, not needing to finish for the full effect to hit our daughter. With three steps the daemon had caught us.

My fingers brushed against Siegnette's hand, "I love you, daughter."

"I love you too, father."

"Shut up the pair of you. I'm going to get a fire started and you can prepare these," She dumped the birds at my feet.

If you want the quick way of getting the breasts, take it by the feet, stand on its head and pull. The sight didn't sit will with Siegnette, so she ran off behind a bush and spewed.

I shook my head and started plucking the remaining feathers, and with my knife removed the breasts from the legs. With that they went over the fire.

Not the way I would do it, that would be pan fry the breasts, take them out and add chopped mushroom and peppercorn sauce to the pan, then re-add the breast and finish cooking it. A few carrots, a bit of potato and bob's your uncle.

Anyway, I got one breast, whilst the girls shared three between them. That was my punishment for allowing Siegnette to use the gun.

Our daughter studied the meat, "Is this alright to eat?"

I looked to Vexa and she to me, then together we said, "There are plenty of bushes to hide behind if you get the shits."

Siegnette didn't find that funny in the slightest.

Her demeanour continued to flip between haughty and sheepish, she was definitely starting to think more before acting though. Not that it stopped her from being an absolute brat the rest of the time.

A lot of work was a head of us, but one way or another we would get her into shape.

The moment we got back to the castle Siegnette disappeared into her room and passed out immediately on her bed.

Her chambermaids flittered about, wanting to remove her dirty clothes and get her into something more suitable for a young lady.

When all that was going on, me and Vexa had a quick chat with Vixen. We wanted him to pick up Siegnette's training when we had some alone time, then we buggered off the estate on the coast. It was to be the lest bit of personal alone time we would get. Vexa was busy with organisation of troops, artillery, horse, food, to be honest, just about everything. I was back under the command of lord Bannier, no longer an arquebusier. I was now considered line-infantry, which meant hour upon hour of drill. Form line, form column, form square.

It was unlikely we were going to face another army like ours and whoever it was we're were marching towards were going to have a jolly good fight on their hands.

In the blink of an eye we were all filing towards the ports at Majula, now that sleepy little village of misery had changed. People were living in it and not undead, there were bright colours everywhere, the old bathhouse a major attraction.

Siegnette looked around awkwardly.

The now 17 year old asked, "Do I have to hold your hand, father? I think I'm old enough to walk about on my own."

"That's what I fear, you going walk about and getting lost. You're one of sixty-five thousand here today," I don't think my grip could have been tighter, "This day's been giving me nightmares as is, so you're going to have to put up with it until we're on the ship."

Vexa was already aboard our vessel of transport, a 48 gun, first-rate ship of the line. Nearly every ship in Drangleic had been requestioned for imperial army use.

This alone was going to take a few days and the problems were starting to mount, the big one being that the horses were refusing to embark. Several had already found ways to jump and were drowned as a consequence.

"Are you sad, father?" The young Milfanito asked out of the blue.

"Yes, a little," I chewed my lip until it bled, "I'm leaving behind a friend and loved one. I still struggle with the idea that she's gone."

Siegnette's face betrayed confusion, I didn't expect her to understand. We hadn't really told her anything.

I then turned the question on Siegnette, "Are you sad, sweetness?"

She frowned and lowered her head, "We're leaving auntie Shanalotte. I don't want to leave auntie Shanalotte."

"I know sweetness, but you want to come with us and that means leaving Shanalotte. That's life, you make your choices and you have to live with them. You've still got me and your mother however, and you uncle Vixen and Don, and your auntie Kate."

There were also her friends at court she was leaving.

"You'll also make new friends, everything will be alright."

There was also the chance that we'd be back in Drangleic within the year, but that never crossed my mind.

Musicians played away in front, they were attached to a grenadier company. They were all big bastards with mitre caps, the rest of their uniforms were the same as ours, except the colours were reversed with the facings being black and the main coat being purple.

All the musicians were in white and orange, looking very smart, all very professional. We were a sight to behold.

No grand speeches were made, even though I believe I was expected to make one. Attempts were made to get von Strepp to make one, but that was wisely avoided. No creature alive could stay awake during one of Marius' speeches.

Speaking of sleep, I was knackered. I hadn't been joking with Siegnette about having nightmares, they had been bloody awful. They had Vexa concerned and the physicians could give me nothing, my immunity to just about all drugs proving a pain.

"How long will the journey take, father?"

"We estimate about six months on the boats, could be longer, hopefully less. Then I don't know, could be years," There wasn't really any way of knowing, "You may not see much of us once we make land, especially not if we're going to be fighting."

The idea was she was to stay with her mother behind the action, if and when it came. That was going to be difficult as Vexa had taken an interest in tactical management from a forward command and if Siegnette was to stick with her, that would put her too close to danger for my liking.

The column came to an abrupt stop, so myself and Siegnette exited it and continued to the front where Shanalotte was waiting. At her feet was Shalquoir, preening herself in that unsightly way cats do.

The moment Siegnette laid eyes on the herald, the tears started. She was enveloped in Shanalotte's arms and swayed gently.

Shanalotte kept a stoic face, but she couldn't hide her melancholy.

I let them have their moment and I said farewell to the ancient watcher. She requested that I not forget her, to which I laughed. My clothes were covering in that much cat hair there was little chance of me forgetting.

I then turned to Shanalotte still hugging Siegnette.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow, "You're not expecting a hug too?"

No, but I got one and a peck on the cheek to boot.

"That was for setting me free and don't tell Vexa, you know what she's like," The herald growled quietly, "And Siegnette has my full permission to kick your arse if you work yourself. Lucatiel passed that honour to me and now it's her honour."

I glance sidelong to my daughter, "You don't have permission to do that, sweetness."

"I know, but I'm not above telling mother about any idiotic things you do," Siegnette gave me a sweet grin and wiped her eyes, "She doesn't need permission."

That was right, siding with her mother as always. I still hadn't found adequate means to bribe her, apparently being a loving father wasn't enough. Bloody kids!

I placed the flat of my hand against Shanalotte's belly, "Raise this one well and try not to spoil them as much as the little miss."

"My son won't be spoilt and you were the one who spoiled Siegnette, von Bayer."

"And Vixen," I scoffed, "Why do you all conveniently forget Vixen?"

"Because it's easier to blame you, von Bayer. Thought you would have realised that by now," Oh, she thought she was very funny. Her expression changed, "Get going then, before I start blubbering. Best of luck to you, Jonathon."

"And to you, queen Shanalotte," I stood back and gave her a salute.

It took some effort to pull Siegnette away and she was very quiet when we were ferried to the ship, she went straight to her mother the moment we got on board.

Vixen was watching the flotilla from the forecastle. The night before he had been drinking heavily and was looking green. I waved, but he wasn't paying attention.

I kissed my partner and my daughter, knowing that this was a massive undertaking for the pair of them. It was a massive undertaking for all of us.

"If you want me, I'll be up on the fighting top," No force in Drangleic could get me below the deck of that wooden coffin, not even Vexa. Anyway, the view from up top was splendid and as we sailed away I could see Shanalotte, surrounded by her personal guard. My eyes then wandered up the path I had first traversed down, the cave that had been my entrance was no longer there. This world hurt my head, but if those goddesses had been right I had my way out.

A jubilant howl left my throat. This was goodbye Drangleic and once again _Split Enz_ comes to me.

 _I hope I never have to see you again._

* * *

 **Well, that's part one over and done with (For the moment at least, until the editing begins). This is a long chapter, because I don't know when to stop writing, but I'm finally free from Drangleic.  
There's a lot of work to be done, grammar, continuity and the like, but eventually this should all read nicely.  
Anyway, I don't own the rights to the DS series, as you all no doubt know, nor do I own the rights to the _Chicago_ song _Hard for me to say I'm sorry_ and the _Split Enz_ song _I hope I never_.  
I'm unsure of when the next part will come out, as I don't know whether to start writing something else for a bit or continue as is. Regardless, it will be out when it's out.  
Feedback is always welcome and I hope you enjoy.  
Until next time.**


	24. Six Months in a Leaky Boat

Why one would ever want to be a sailor is beyond me.

 _Six months in a leaky boat,_

 _*clap clap*_

 _lucky just to keep afloat._

An amazing song, shite subject matter. But less about that, yes?

Hell, we hadn't been at sea a month and the problems started. The flotilla was caught in a storm, that alone sank 13 ships, 11 with all hands lost.

Then across the whole of the flotilla dysentery struck. Of course the little miss caught it and that threw me into a panic. Don't like seeing my loved ones ill or in any kind of pain.

One evening, late on, the sun was setting, I found Siegnette clambering up the Jacob's ladder. She was panting when she reach the fighting top, still not in the fittest of shapes.

She plonked herself down on my lap, with her legs dangling over the edge.

"I don't think you should be up here, sweetness," I was being cautious, "It's a long way down. What if you have to, you know, go?"

"I've already been," Siegnette shifted about, embarrassed about her condition.

"That means absolutely nothing, I've lived around you humans long enough. Just ask your uncle Vixen about the chicken incident, back before he was a god," The brute was hit the worst by that bout of food poisoning. I was also worried about Vexa throwing a fit when she realised where our daughter was.

My arms were around her securely, no chance of her falling.

"How is your tummy?"

"Sore," She replied, but she felt better up in the tops. The fresh air and the coolness was better medicine than anything else.

This wasn't what she had expected at all, Siegnette thought there would have been a little fun at least and not spending most of her time with her bottom over the side of the ship.

"Don't be vulgar, Father!" The young Milfanito scolded.

"Well it's true, the same goes for most of the men on this ship," I then changed the subject, "If nothing catastrophic happens in the next few days, we should be making land to pick up fresh water and the like. Bet you can't wait to get your feet on dry land for a bit?"

She nodded.

How long we would be on land was unknown, I had a hesitant guess at a week.

My daughter shivering took me from thoughts of dry land and so I draped the blanket I'd been given around us. Together we watched the sun caste a brilliant golden shimmer across the water and dip below the horizon.

Siegnette struggled to contain her yawn and attempted to stretch out.

"Hey," I tapped her arm, "You can't go falling asleep up here."

Siegnette rocked back and nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder, "But I'm comfy."

Ah, the Vexa excuse. Like mother, like daughter.

"Are you going to come back down before we stop for land? Mother is missing you."

I shook my head absently and chuckled to myself, "If she got off her fat arse..."

The redhead wasn't keen on heights and had refused to join me.

"I'm telling Mother you said that," The girl shifted again, so that she was better facing me. There was an evil glint in her brown eyes, Siegnette wanted something.

I smiled, "Go ahead, I'm safe up here."

"You will have to come down eventually, Father."

She had a point and there would be no hiding from Vexa. I asked her what she wanted in return for not telling her mother.

"Let me stay up here a while longer," She pulled the blanket tight and leant back.

Like Vexa before her, Siegnette started to ask questions about myself and where we were going to, our destination was still a mystery to the girl.

I wasn't going to allow her a look at my memories, for her I wanted Erebay to be a surprise. I wanted to see her expression.

"I still don't understand how you weren't born in Drangleic," She said.

"And I keep telling you I wasn't born, I just existed," The concept was lost on my daughter. People didn't just exist, they had to be born.

"No, I was always this young looking and pretty, unlike your mother."

Siegnette hummed, "I don't think Mother will like to hear that. Mother is very beautiful."

The wind picked up, whistling about our ears and despite the blanket Siegnette continued to shiver.

"Are you sure you want to stay up here? I don't want you catching cold as well." That would be disastrous and I would most likely get blamed for it.

Siegnette shuffled restlessly, "Ten more minutes."

"Alright, sweetness," I planted a kiss on the top of her head, "I understand wanting to spend time with your favourite parent."

My daughter cocked her head, "But Mother is in her cabin."

I repeated my daughter's last sentence, putting on a heart-broken tone as I went. This kind of cheekiness could only be dealt with in one way, I began to tickle her. It worked with Vexa and it worked with Siegnette.

"No, no Father. Stop, please!" The girl pleaded, half laughing, half in tears, "I'm sorry."

Had to stop myself before she had an accident, we really didn't want that to happen.

I whispered loudly into her ear, "Shall we try that one again? Which one of us is your favourite parent?"

With a defiant pout, Siegnette said, "Mother."

The woman didn't even want to look after Siegnette when she was little, how she wormed her way into my little girl's heart still remains a mystery. Nah, that's bullshit. I've told you before that Vexa's a wonderful mother and it wasn't hard to see why Siegnette claimed her to be the favourite.

That didn't mean I had to like it.

"Oh, well next time you come wanting something, remember who you're favourite is," I feigned hurt, "Remember who clothed and fed you, remember who taught you to read and write our language, remember who showered you with love, spoiled you even."

The girl smirked, "I remember, Father. Auntie Shanalotte."

"You're pushing your luck," I lightly warned.

Siegnette then proceeded to pull the sweetest face you ever saw, and with a similar tone of voice said, "I love you, Father."

That didn't work and it has never worked with any of my other children.

I returned the smile and with a sinister chuckle told her, "I hope you also remember I know every embarrassing detail about you and every embarrassing story from when you were little. One day, when you have a suitor or a husband, I'm going to tell one of those stories or perhaps all of them."

The smile on her face fell and she swallowed, "Mother would never do that."

Oh really?

"Would you like to put that one to the test?"

The girl gave a resolute nod and we both started to descend the rope-lattice, the most of which I spent helping Siegnette. A sudden case of vertigo had her pinned.

The moment she looked down she stopped.

There was a marine ready on the deck to take my place on the top, he gave a hand to the girl when she finally reached the bottom. She then disappeared in a hurry towards the ship's prow.

I didn't wait, heading below deck to find my partner.

The nicest of the cabins had been reserved for the royal family alone, it being the only room with an actual bed.

The cabin smelled of sweat and self abuse, the culprit was sat with her back against the hull-wall looking out the window. Plagued by boredom, she was trying to find amusement in watching the sea.

"Evening beautiful," I announced myself and the redhead perked up, "Think I could get a kiss?"

The redhead's lips twisted into a semi-snarl, "Those are not the words I want to hear, Jonathon!"

I let myself fall onto the bed, crawled over to the redhead and dropped my head onto her lap, looking up into her eyes.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been with you all that much, but if you moved that big bum of yours and joined me in the tops for a bit..." I trailed off.

Vexa pursed her lips, "It's too high up there."

"Our daughter managed to climb up," I informed her, neglecting to mention that making it down that the getting back down had been the problem.

She was none too happy to find that was where Siegnette had been for the past hour.

I reached up and brushed her cheek with my fingers, "She only wanted to spend some time with her father. I'm her favourite, you know."

"Don't start that again," Vexa flicked my forehead, "Was Siegnette alright with you? She hasn't slept properly since last week."

"Her tummy's still hurting, but she was fine," I closed my eyes and started to relax a little, "I think the worst has passed. She's been lucky."

Vexa cocked her head, "How many?"

"Thirty-eight," I said, "Twenty-five of ours, thirteen Dranglein. Don't know about the other ships, but what were we expecting? Can't cram so many people into one space and not have disease spread."

How many more would die before we reached Lordran I wondered, not really seeking an answer. I turned my mind to my partner. Her ruby lips inviting and her scent intoxicating.

Vexa placed her hands either side of my head and turned it away from her, "Don't sniff me, you freak. I haven't had the chance to bathe properly since we set sail."

I didn't care, it didn't change Vexa one bit.

The redhead leant over and gave me that kiss I had wanted. Very nice, very sweet.

"You're staying down here tonight," She ordered and who was I to refuse such a beautiful woman. The order was bookended with a second kiss, far deeper and more passionate than the first. This was just in time for Siegnette to enter the room

She immediately shielded her eyes and started to fuss.

Without notice Vexa thrust her hands under me and rolled me off the bed. The moment this happened Siegnette took my spot, our daughter bring up the conversation we had.

Vexa looked at me with brows furrowed, "Would I try to embarrass Siegnette before a prospective husband by telling him stories of her when she was younger?"

The young Milfanito was already giving me a look of victory, there was no way in her mind that Vexa could be so cruel.

"Yes, I've plenty of stories. In fact, there was one time."

Siegnette clamped her hands over her ears and let out a shrill 'no'.

I would have to say that was a victory for me.

Our daughter's reaction had us in stitches. Felt good to laugh and I couldn't stop myself, Siegnette's expression only furthered my mirth.

She was quick in taking her revenge, telling Vexa all the 'nasty' things I had said about her in the tops.

As the redhead was being regaled, I got up and perched on the edge of the bed. Her feet were placed against my back, gripping at my shirt with her toes.

"It's alright, I know your Father doesn't mean it."

Siegnette's plan of revenge was falling apart, until I opened my mouth.

"You do have a big bum though, it's objective fact," Instantly regretting saying anything, Vexa jammed the heel of her right foot between my shoulder blades. With the other foot she pushed me back off the bed.

Something was telling me she wasn't happy with what I said.

As punishment I was made to give said feet a massage; Vexa actually has quite dainty feet in comparison to the rest of her body, very ticklish too. I could have taken to opportunity to be a pest, but I stuck to giving my love the massage she wanted.

Siegnette asked me to sing for her through a yawn, getting herself comfy on Vexa's lap.

Took me some time to think of something appropriate, raking over every inch on memory for a good song.

 _Night sky's burning,  
_ _leading us astray.  
_ _The wheels of fate are turning,  
_ _to late to turn away.  
_ _Drawn in by mystery  
_ _and lost within it's maw.  
_ _Do you dare to follow,  
_ _swift of feet  
_ _and delve into the flame?  
_ _You are to be devoured._

In hindsight not the best song. It's about the Dauden expedition, they went of to explore the uncharted regions of the void. One afternoon the entire sky lit up, burning so bright and they wanted to see why. Lord Dauden and his men were never seen again.

Vexa suddenly shushed me, "Listen, Johnny."

I cringed, I absolutely hate being called Johnny.

Regardless, I did as she said. Siegnette was snoring softly and I hoped for her then a long, peaceful sleep.

"Have you ever wished that she was little again?" Vexa ran her fingers through Siegnette's hair.

"Yes," I answered quickly, "Every time she opens her mouth to argue and forgive me if I'm remembering wrong, but you were rather opposed to me adopting her?"

"I was," She admitted, "And I'm glad you didn't listen to me. That does not mean I want to have a baby now though, Jonathan."

How did she know?

Of course! Skin to skin contact, she was inside my head. How bloody rude of her.

I sighed, "Why did I ever make you one of us?"

"So that we could be together forever and because you don't think things through before doing them," The redhead hummed, "You gave me these abilities, don't complain when I use them."

Fair point.

"Oh, I am blessed to have you."

"I know you are, Jonathon. Try not to sound so sarcastic," Vexa returned to resting her feet against my back. She then walked them up so that one was resting against the back of my head, pushing it forward. I put up with her pestering as best I could.

"When was the last time you washed your hair? It's all greasy, Jonathon."

"Around the same time you last washed your feet," I reached behind me and took her by the ankle, "They are lifting, love."

The second I let go of her ankle Vexa extended her leg, getting her foot around by my nose. I could hear the smirk on her lips.

A groan came from our daughter, we had unfortunately disturbed her. She said nothing, only moving a few inches away from her Mother and falling back into sleep.

This hadn't deterred Vexa, still prodding at my nose with her toes.

"Tell me you love me, mister," The redhead sniggered, "Tell me you love me and maybe I'll stop."

"I love you so very much. Now get your stinking feet away from my nose," I twisted and caught the offending foot and started to rub my fingertips up and down her sole, "I'm feeling rather merciful, my love, but next time you may regret irritating me."

I dropped her foot and repositioned myself, getting nice and close.

My eyes grew heavy; the heat of her body was working some powerful magic over me and when I found myself on the verge of sleep, Vexa pushed me off the bed for the third time that night.

Vexa grinned, "There isn't enough room for all of us on here. Only room for me and Siegnette, I'm afraid."

"There's plenty of room."

"You decided that you would stay up on the masts and because of that, you lost any right you had to sleep on this bed," She stretched herself out with a moan, then narrowed her eyes at me, "And with a bum this big there was no chance you were ever going to fit."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and muttered swears under my breath.

"Go on mister, you know you want to say it," The redhead egged me on.

"I'm sure I could squeeze myself in," I grumbled through gritted teeth, "No matter how tight the fit."

"Not with Siegnette in the room."

Oh, she was proud of herself for that. Grinning smugly and patting the spot next to her.

I grumbled a little more and laid down as best I could away from Vexa and her innuendos. It wasn't far enough, for in a matter of seconds the redhead was snuggling up to me.

"How long were you waiting to use that one?" I asked.

"About thirteen years," The grin only grew wider, "You're that obsessed with my backside that it had to work eventually."

I went on a bit of a rant about using our time wisely and how she wasn't funny at all. Vexa placed her finger to my lips, "Stop talking and give me a goodnight kiss."

The redhead screwed her eyes closed and pursed her lips in anticipation. I left her waiting.

She cleared her throat twice, quietly the first time and forcefully the second.

I got the message and pecked her the tip of her nose, then her lips. She and I were definitely going to get lost for a few hours when we made land.

Perhaps spending a night inside the wooden coffin wouldn't be so bad.

Vexa's breathing slowed, so I slowed mine to match her and welcomed slumber.

"Sir!" It was Vixen.

Not five damned minutes had passed.

I kept my eyes closed, "This had better be important, brother."

"Several unidentified ships are gaining on us and at some pace," The brute stood crouched at the door, "The Viscount would like you on the quarterdeck."

I tried letting go of Vexa but my body wasn't listening, it refused to budge. I'm proud of that body, it's knows what I want. I still had to see if these ships were a threat however.

There was another trick we pure-borns could use that would allow me to get away. We can detach ourselves from our physical bodies for a limited time, unlike shadow-dancing or going _naked_ , it drains our energy at lightning pace.

I was left with a tingly feeling as I became detached and stretched myself out, even though the act was unnecessary. Just a habit I suppose.

Felt somewhat liberating not being attached to a lump of meat and bone.

I waved my hand making Vixen stand to the side. Hopefully this would be nothing and I could go back to sleep.

"Have you always been able to do that, Sir?" The brute questioned

I nodded, " _Yes,_ _been awhile though._ "

The marines on the quarterdeck straightened up as we passed by, prompting Vixen to ask how they knew it was me.

" _I haven't a clue, I can't tell other pure-borns apart like this,_ " I admitted, " _They do know what I sound like, maybe it's that?_ "

Vix shrugged.

Marius was up ahead, talking with the Captain of Marines. The Viscount, as with the rest of the nobility, had taken to wearing a powder-wig. Quite frankly I thought they looked ridiculous, but fashion is fashion.

He started to stare.

" _My body is somewhat occupied, Marius._ _I had to leave it behind,_ " I looked out over the side, " _Where are these ships?_ "

"Somewhat behind the _Artisan_ ," She being the trailing vessel, "Five galleasses and three galleons, the acting Lieutenant expects them to gain on us by morning."

The watch-officer had though he he had spied the flag of Jugo flying from the lead ship.

" _Jugonese privateers? Pirates?_ " I said to myself, " _We should be able to see them off,_ _surely._ "

Between our ship, the _Envy,_ and the _Artisan_ was the _Imperious_. She was a first-rate with 98 cannon, one of two. Her sister was at the front of the fleet, the _Imperator_.

I wouldn't dare attack them and we had cannon, those Jugonese didn't. This would end in a heartbeat.

" _I'm going back to bed gentlemen, I'll see you in the morning_ ," This was nothing to worry about, so I wasn't going to.

"Your Majesty, I think it would be best to err on the side of caution," The Viscount said, collapsing his spyglass, "The Captain of the Marines has alerted his men and I want every able man ready in case something goes wrong."

I sighed and lowered my head, there was going to be hell to pay with Vexa.

"Ten minutes. We're meeting in the wardroom."

Couldn't complain, I'm the one who wanted to play soldiers all those years ago. I would be able to spend time with Vex when we were finished scaring off the pirates.

Now, when I returned to my partner's cabin my body was not where I had left it. No, Vexa had unceremoniously dumped it on the floor.

That's love for you.

I gave my body the once over to make sure the redhead hadn't done anything naughty with it. Nothing seemed out of place, except my hair which she had put into pigtails. The were undone the moment I reattached myself. Pigtails are cavalry and do not suit me one bit.

I knelt down and whispered into her ear that we had pirates on us, and that I wouldn't be in fact spending the night with her.

Vexa began to complain, but I told her to take it up with the Jugonese

She rolled over and held Siegnette.

"I'll keep her here. You go and show those pirate what happens when they spoil my night with you," She shook her fist in the air.

"I'll give 'em hell for you, honey."

I picked up my musket from the Master-at-Arms and went to find the wardroom. I didn't really need my musket, it was really a pre-emptive move.

Marius and Vixen were stooped over a table, with the Captain of Marines opposite them. Dotted around the rest of the room were the naval officers.

"Did you have any problems with my sister, Sir?"

"I'm to give those damned Jugonese a strongly worded message for spoiling her night with me," I told him, "Yet somehow I know it's going to be my fault."

It always was.

The brute dipped his hand into a pockets, pulling our a silver flask. It wasn't in his hands for long and my goodness, it was a smooth drink inside.

Gavlan had generously donated barrel after barrel of the finest alcohol to me, so that I would not go thirsty on our long journey.

"You're also getting the blame, brother."

If he hadn't woken me...

"If I was to say I'm sorry?" Vixen shrugged.

"Take it up with your sister, not me."

He knew then to keep his mouth closed, yet I would still get the blame.

Marius cleared his throat, "If you and the Lord Kellantine have finished nattering, I would like to get on with things."

The Viscount gestured to the naval men to his left.

They bowed, "Your Majesty."

They were both Dranglein and I recognised the first as the Captain of the frigate _Harmony_. Next to him was the Captain of the _Imperious_.

After introducing themselves, they got down to business.

Not going to lie and say I understood anything they said, it was all nautical stuff and I wasn't going to have to worry about the ship combat, if it indeed came to that.

"I want you back in the top, Your Majesty," Marius looked up at me briefly, "Fire down onto the enemy deck when they get close."

"If they get past us, that is," The _Imperious'_ Captain interrupted, then hastily added, "Your Royal Highness."

I nodded and asked Vixen for another nip at the flask.

This was an absolute farce and couldn't wait for it to be over. I still did as I was told, leaving the wardroom and climbing back up the top.

The marine already there nodded at me and I passed him over my canteen, and we sat, drank and waited for the Jugonese pirates.

It was three hours after dawn when the pirates hit, the _Imperious_ opened up with a broadside on one of the galleons. 49 cannon blasting the absolute hell out of the smaller pirate ship.

It did however in no way deter the smaller, faster galleasses. They had switched to using their oars.

One was intercepted by the _Harmony_ , leaving it dead in the water.

Those ships could do nothing to us, unless they used the prow to ram.

The marine got my attention and pointed down at the closest galleass, "They've got bow chasers, Your Majesty."

I was made painfully aware when the closest ship opened up, the balls landing short.

When I got a better look, I came to a realisation, "We sold them those bloody guns. They're our old bloody sakers."

The ship got in close, too close for our ship or any other to open fire with a broadside. The galleass pulled in it's oars, pirates on the top deck ready to board.

Our main force of marines were taking the odd potshot whilst the others were plugging in their bayonets.

"Aim for the ones that look important, Your Majesty. Destroy their command structure."

He needn't have told me, but I thanked him and took aim myself.

My target was a Jugonese in what appeared to be a uniform; The musket thumped against my shoulder and the pirate snapped back, a large ragged hole in his back.

The marine fired next, blowing the head off one of the bastards below. None of the Jugonese I could see had anything in the way of muskets, we were safe in that regard. Some were armed with bows and crossbows, but over all we had more firepower.

My next shot splintered the leg of a pirate. He fell back, cracking his skull against the railing of the galleass and fell between the gap of the two hulls.

I was getting into a good rhythm of loading and firing. My mouth dry and bitter from the powder and I had torn a nail on the flint, but I had a good feeling.

Another volley from the Marines and the Jugonese boarder were repulsed, the sleek vessel pushing away from us with its oars.

The second it was at a good distance from us, the cannon sang as one. Cannister round after cannister round tore at the pirates, the gun-crews working tirelessly to keep the guns fed.

It was a marvellous thing to witness, modern naval warfare.

The galleass stopped dead in the water, bobbing lifelessly. Men still ran about her deck, but they were out of the fight.

The _Imperious_ then loosed another broadside, finishing off its prey.

As quickly as it had started it had ended, the Jugonese pirates defeated, crushed even, within a half-hour.

I was made aware that I had torn a second nail and it was hanging by a scrap of skin. The next minutes were spent painfully extracting the remaining nail from my finger, so that it could heal properly.

Several pirates had been taken prisoner and were at the mercy of the Marines, they were all bayoneted and the bodies thrown overboard.

This little action had proved me right, the pirates had stood no chance.

An hour later we reconvened in the wardroom to discuss the victory and to plan the next move. Mine was to get back to Vexa.

She was still in the cabin reading to Siegnette from one of her books. It was a pleasant thing to see and it put a smile on my face.

I sat with them and listened in.

It was a good story, but one that put me to sleep.

I woke up on Vexa's lap, the redhead running her fingers through my hair. Her eyes were shining and full of warmth. The kiss that followed was so sweet.

"Thanks for keeping us safe," She whispered, "And teaching those nasty Jugonese it's not alright to interrupt our time together."

I took her hand in mine, "Anything for a lovely lady. Though for you a few dead pirates."

Vexa clicked her tongue and pinched my nose hard, "Do you like living, Jonathon?"

Nasally I replied, "Is there a correct answer?"

Red hair shook from side to side.

"I love you," The words came so easy, but I meant them.

"You too. You infuriating bastard."

Oh, there was a beautiful tension growing between us. I sat up, nearly straddling Vexa, going for the nape of her neck. I found that I couldn't wait for dry land.

My fingers pulled at the waist of her breeches and brushed against the warmth of her womanhood, eliciting a purr from the redhead. Meanwhile my lips and teeth teased at her milky-white skin, and she was making use of her own hands.

Everything was aflame, burning wildly through the pair of us.

She called my name huskily and nipped my earlobe. I replied in kind.

Like animals we began tearing at our clothing, ripping it away like paper from a present. Her breasts fell free from her open shirt and...and…

"Mother! Father!" Siegnette exclaimed, shielding her eyes and turning away.

I think I had a heart attack; in that moment of passion I'd forgotten the girl. Vexa covered herself with the bedsheets and attempted to shoo our daughter away.

I too told her to go bother her uncle and leave us be for an hour. Siegnette however stood fixed to the floor and then was off like the roadrunner, only a faint after image a clue to anyone having stood there.

"I believe we've just traumatised our little girl," Vexa blushed.

"Our own fault for skirting around the whole sex issue. We coddled her."  
Vexa cleared her throat.

"I coddled her," I corrected, "But you avoided the topic like I did, so you're not getting out of this."

We all get that clichéd question at least once, where do babies come from? Never could really explain it to Siegnette.

"Jonathon, she's not stupid. She understands it, she just doesn't want to see us doing it."  
Fair point.

We sat in silence for a minute, the mood rather dead.

"Do you want to continue?" The redhead spoke up.

I shook my head, "No. I'm out of it, I'm afraid. But..."

I lowered myself down and started to peel back her breeches...and that's all your getting from me.

Self abuse only takes you so far, a second player is needed to make it enjoyable.

Anyway, Siegnette avoided me and her Mother like the plague for the following three days, too embarrassed to speak to us. I went back to my post in the tops.

A week and a half later we docked, it was staggered along different points to make it easier on the fleet.

Solid ground underfoot was the best and the smell of the grass was, oh…

I wanted to hug it and never let go.

We would have several days to find and store fresh water, and to kindle romance between lovers out of the view of certain children.

A few hours walk away from the coast and we found a lovely secluded spot on the slopes of a valley. Vexa had put on a dress, light and flowing in the wind, the occasion being special. Sort of, our anniversary would fall when we were back on the ship, so this was in lieu of that.

We had food, we had a tent and we had ourselves.

After escaping our escort we had free reign of the land, two days for us. Shot a wild goat, giving us fresh meat to roast. We cuddled up in front of a fire and cooked.

You can use your imagination to fill in what our other occupation was.

Early that next morning we were up and started playing about in the closest beck, the redhead naked as the day she was born and so was I. The highlight was when we laid together within the warm waters and it's still not the strangest place I've had sex.

Vexa suddenly gripped my arm, "There's someone watching us. Not our escorts."

Hurriedly we returned to the tent clothing ourselves and I readied my weapon. Vexa had left her sword on the ship, leaving me the sole defender.

Whoever those voyeurs were they were quiet and had stole up on our tent. Three men, two in rough-spun wool tunics with rudimentary pitchforks. The third dressed from head to toe in mail, only his eyes visible between the gaps in the nasal-helm and aventail. The warrior was hidden behind his round-shield, spear-tip in my face.

I pulled the cock back, disengaging it from the dog and putting it into the full position.

"Back away," I growled in Dranglein and fired over their heads, the two labourers bolting like rabbits.

The warrior stood his ground and growled something back.

Vexa whispered in my ear, "I think he wants a fight."

I nodded my head and fixed my bayonet. Far more primitive this warrior was, but no less a danger to me or Vexa.

The warrior shook the shield, I believe asking where was mine. I just brandished my my musket, trying to find the most advantageous position for attack.

Yes, I hear you cry, why didn't you reload the gun? The rest of you are no doubt calling me a daft cunt. We already knew I was one though.

Most of our bout was spent parrying each other's blows. I was struggling to get past his shield and I was always returning to a place outside his range.

Viscount Akandra and his heavy cavalry rode in before we could reach a conclusion. They were still wearing the same armour and using the same weaponry, but were now sporting a new title. They were the Emperor's Life-Guard and have remained so since.

The warrior was now held at lance-point. Granted, there were only 10 of them, thought that was enough to stop the warrior.

On the hill above us was a small company of line infantry, the standard flapping away alongside my flag, the Iron-Cross wrapped in Black Roses.

The warrior was not however ready to give up, jabbing at the cavalry.

"The bastard has a death wish," One Life-Guard spoke.

"He does that," I replied and then to our new friend, "Stand down, you daft bugger."

The warrior snarled back, "Not to you damned Drangleic raiders!"

So, the man did speak a language we knew. Took his damn time getting around to it.

"We're not Dranglein, stand down and back away from our Emperor," The same cavalryman ordered.

The warrior made the same remark that many do, "I don't care, you all dressed strangely. You will not take our land!"

It seemed though that sense won over bravado in the end.

With a harrumph the warrior grounded his spear and pulled back his helm. The transition between warrior and anger filled youth was shocking, he couldn't have been twenty.

I was in half a mind to put him over my knee and tell him to get lost. We instead decided to march him back to his family.

It was a short march over the far side of the valley to the boy's farm. Several smaller building were placed around a central long-house, fenced off areas of tilled land filled the remaining space for as far as the eye could see.

More armed men swarmed, we had disturbed the hive.

"91st form line," A Sergeant relayed the orders of his superior.

I had a word with the boy, "Call to them. Tell them if they do not halt, we will be forced to fire on them."

With all his might the boy shouted, the words reaching the charging warriors but failed to stop them. They cried back in a tongue unknown, vague threats I think from what the boy said.

"Try again," I urged him, not wanting to see blood shed.

The words fell on deaf ears and the armoured men continued their charge. The tightly formed shield-wall was not going to aid them.

The boy's cries became desperate the closer they got, too late. The first rank knelt, the second holding their muskets above the first rank and the third had their guns between the men of the second.

With an almighty crash all muskets spoke, sending their deadly hail at the advancing shield-wall. The bodies hit the floor heavily, kicking up dust, screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs.

The boy ran to them with tears streaking his cheek, one his father. On the officer's orders the company reloaded, ready to fire on the men again if they hadn't learned their lesson.

The Life-Guard galloped in ending the chance of a second volley, trampling the bodies under hoof and running down the boy. The screams were only growing with each passing second.

Cavalrymen reeked havoc, the great mounts speeding towards the settlement. We infantry followed, Vexa staying with Markus.

A lust gripped us like poppy, driving us forward. The cries of women drown out those of the wounded and dying men.

A twitch reaction had me firing upon a defenceless farm labourer, smashing his shoulder to a red pulp. The arm was useless and now so was he.

My mind was lost, forgetting that we had only come to return the boy. Those men hadn't stood down, it wasn't our fault.

It was slaughter, pure and simple. A burning scrap of cartridge paper had set fire to the thatched roof, black smoke choking the skies.

It was over so quickly too, the 'battle' won.

The company of infantry and Life-Guard tore through the remaining huts, looting whatever they could and whatever wasn't nailed down. It was a good hour before their Major and Sergeant could rein them in.

Vexa's face was awash with pain.

I tried to comfort my partner, only to have her snap at me.

"That didn't need to happen! You could have stood your men down," She wouldn't look at me, "You didn't need to kill them."

I reached out and had my hand smacked away.

"Don't touch me, Jonathon. Don't-"  
A dog pined in the distance, it was a pathetic sound, and was silenced by a gunshot. The silence came next, a deafening silence. The gravity of the situation heavy.

Vexa couldn't stand it and walked away, turning her back on me and the men. The standard bearers followed with a small guard.

Markus trotted up next to me, his mount kicking at the dirt.

"What are you thinking, Your Majesty?"

"That I've just upset my wife and that she was right," My gaze wandered from one corpse to another, "Order your men to bury the dead, then see if there is anything worth taking and slaughter a few of those cows. I'm going back to the camp."

The Viscount looked over the same bodies and sighed, "We gave them a chance and the rankers were a little over zealous. It happens, nothing to lose sleep over."

As always, the noble fussed about me not wanting to take an escort. I had a powerful weapon that I knew how to handle and I couldn't die, one day they would finally understand this.

When everyone was out of sight I lit up a fag, I'd been rationing them, and it was one of the best smokes I had had in a while.

The tent we'd spent the night in was gone, only the scorched grass where the fire had been. I knelt down and pressed my hand against the spot. My other hand went to the pendant.

"Haven't done this for a long time, my love," I kept my voice soft, "Still the same old thug it seems, I know you'd have words...about a lot of things. How much have I told you about Siegnette?"

Time hadn't dulled my love for her.

"Still missing you dearly, but I'm afraid I'm not giving up Vexa," A branch broke underfoot, my hand going straight to the cartridge pouch, "We'll continue this later, my love."  
Spinning round on the balls of my feet, I faced my stalker.

I was face to face with another warrior and I didn't even chance it; the cock fell striking the hammer, the musket thumping into my shoulder shortly after.

A neat hole was punched through the round-shield below the boss. The warrior fell to his knees and collapsed backwards.

The fouling was staring to get heavy, I doubted I could get another good shot like that. The bayonet was back in the muzzle.

I wasn't going to let the warrior suffer.

I pulled back his helmet to find a girl with brown-blonde hair, no older than the boy that had challenged me earlier.

"Stupid girl," I muttered and drove the bayonet through her throat, her death throes bubbled out her mouth. I didn't mean it, just venting. Those men could have listened and not thrown away their lives.

I left the body to the animals and made my way back to the coast.

The tall masts came into view first, the flags hanging limply from the mains. White tents dotted the terrain and barrels of fresh water were stacked high.

The biggest tent was mine. von Strepp's Adjutant was sat outside with a pot of water over a fire.

"Bring that to me when it's done."

"But the Viscount said-"

I held up my hand, "Don't argue with me."

I found the Adjutant on his knees, grovelling and begging for my forgiveness. I clicked my tongue and entered the tent.

Siegnette was sprawled out over a carpet of cushions, a bowl of summer-fruits by her hand and the stones of peaches littered the empty spaces. From the moment we had made land she had lazed about, her plump form not leaving the comfort of the tent.

A gentle smile pulled at her lips, "Welcome back, Father."

She reached up with her hand, which I took and squeezed. Then scolded her for leaving a mess, she wasn't living in a palace now.

The girl made excuses and plopped a grape in her mouth, her smile growing at the sweet flavour. I sat close by, taking a handful myself, and started to strip my weapon.

The boiling water was brought in and I shooed away the Adjutant, he was a weedy man and I didn't have much like for him. Tea-leaf was placed in two pewter mugs; like myself, Siegnette had found a taste of the bitter drink.

Halfway through my cleaning a message arrived saying Vexa had returned to the ship. I was a little disheartened even though I knew we'd make things better eventually.

Our daughter decided she was going to stay on dry land for as long as she could, this I couldn't fault her for.

I would use the remaining time with Siegnette, it was only right.

The gun in my lap was clean and my tea drunk, I stripped off my hat and long-coat and laid down on the cushions. I found myself thinking 'no wonder she hasn't moved', it was extremely comfortable.

"Father!" She pushed against me, "You're taking up all my space."

I pinched her belly, "It's not your space and you're not exactly a petite girl any more."

Her face darkened.

I cupped her cheek and smiled, "That wasn't a go at your weight, sweetness. But you are sprawled spread-eagle over all the cushions."

Her expression lightened and she huffed, drawing her arms and legs up to her chest. Another grape found its way to her mouth, although it now looked like she was chewing on a wasp.

I got closer and folded my arms, then reached over and took a peach.

"Tell me about where we're going again," She rolled over to face me, "Pleeeeeease."

"Oh come on, that didn't work when you were a baby and are you talking about Lordran or Erebay?"  
Her answer was both.

My knowledge of the former was from what I had read in Vendrick's library and from what the old man had told me, but Erebay, as you all know, I could talk about for hours uninterrupted.

As with Vex, I hoped she would love Erebay as much as I did. I told her where I was going to take her and her Mother when we arrived. Take them both to the Baye region where I was found, hence von Bayer, Jonathon-Frederick from Baye.

The girl didn't share the same enthusiasm, growing board and finding interest in a wine bottle. I snatched it from her before she could take a drink, I wasn't wanting her to fall to the same evils that myself and her Mother had. Not until she was 20 at least.

"I know," I took a swig of the wine and grimaced, "Why don't we go practice with the pistol your Auntie Katie gave you? The one that me and your mother aren't supposed to know about."

Siegnette's face lit up and produced the gun. A very expensive piece and highly ornate, the smiths that had made them 'lovingly' referred to them as Queen Vexa pistols. Beautiful, but volatile and dangerous at close range.

Unlike our muskets, the pistol was a true-flintlock. Now please don't confuse it with a Queen Anne, bless her soul, as the barrel was a single, solid piece and did not unthread from the breech.

Katie had paid through the nose for it. She confessed to me one evening before we left that she had given the girl the gun, just in case she had to defend herself. I understood where she was coming from, but Vexa was adamant against Siegnette ever using a gun. This I also understood, but we couldn't always be there to keep her safe and she would leave the nest eventually.

The light was still good and we retired to a safe distance away from the camp, a few targets set up and we were away.

She was a god awful shot, not that I was expecting any less. A familiar strop started when she failed for the third time. My advisement to take her time wasn't heeded and her careless actions had me worried.

I seized the gun from Siegnette.

"You keep this pointed away from yourself and other people!" I snarled, "It's not a toy. You use it wrong, people die."

"Isn't that the point?"

"Not with this it's not," I slotted the pistol in my belt, "I don't want you to kill anyone. And if we do our job properly, you won't need to. I'm only allowing you to do this so you know how to handle one, I never expect you to use it in violence. You understand me, Siegnette?"

The young Milfanito nodded meekly.

I needed to drill that into her head. The thought of Siegnette hurting herself with the weapon was terrifying.

I pulled it back from my belt and loaded.

"Don't be scared of it," I pulled on the trigger, "And take your time."

The little gun bucked against my hand and the target pot shattered to dust, a good if lucky shot. The range on these pistols isn't what you would call far.

I went back through the loading process, then handed the pistol back. Her next shot also missed, leading to another frustrated strop. Both lips wobbling and nostrils flaring, even tears pricked at her eyes.

Under her breath she muttered, "You make it look easy."

"Yes. I was shooting before you could walk, remember that. I was also shooting muskets far more primitive than we have now. I even blinded myself."

I rambled on about our adventure in Brightstone Cove. Then out of the blue Siegnette asked about Lucatiel, caught me off guard.

"She was a beautiful woman and I loved her, is that enough?" Old wounds I didn't really want to re-open.

The girl scratched her cheek and gave a cheeky grin, "More beautiful than Mother?"

"Yes and no," I went the diplomatic route, "Different people are beautiful in different ways. Like you're beautiful, but I don't see you like I see your mother."

A deep blush burned her cheeks and she tried in vain to hide her face. I've got a quota to fill, you know. How many times a day can you embarrass your child? It's a natural habit I suppose, I'm very good at it.

I beckoned her over, "Come on then, we'll give you one last shot before clean up."

We stood together with me behind, holding her gun arm steady. I gave her the same advice again and let her take over.

The shot went well wide of the pot and Siegnette gave a defeated sigh.

I gave her a hug and told my daughter not to beat herself up over it, she would get better the more she practised. These things took time.

She handed the pistol back. I took it, but she was going to have to learn how to take it apart and clean it.

The upset on her face persisted. The sour look didn't really suit her.

"What's the matter, love?"

"I just wanted to be good at it, like you."

That was sweet. I brushed away some unburned powder from her cheek, and repeated once more that it was going to take time. I wish she used her ears and listened.

"We'll try again tomorrow," I messed up her hair. There was still a day or two left before we would have to depart.

Over the camp the scent of both roasting beef and pork wafted setting my stomach off, and with a light chuckle led Siegnette back to the tent.

You might have though that she was a princess they way she whined about having to clean the gun, about how dirty it was and the like.

"You use it, you clean it. Don't argue," I hung about at the tent flap, "Get started and I'll go find someone to bring us food."

The girl groaned, "Alright, Father."

"Good girl."

On my return she hadn't made any progress, just sat staring at the fouled pistol.

"That isn't cleaning it, sweetness."

I sat down cross-legged beside her with the tools to pull it apart and gave her a hand. Afterwards we ate and settled down for the evening. She restarted the conversation about Lordran and Erebay, before settling back on the topic of Lucatiel. I hadn't seen such curiosity from the girl since she was little. I let her have a look at some of my less intimate memories with the blonde undead.

She was facing me on her cot, laid down on her tummy.

"So you really, really loved her," Siegnette chirped, "Even though she was a little bit mouldy?"

"Siegnette!" The cheek of the girl, "Don't be rude. I don't think you'd want to suffer the undead curse."

"No Father, sorry," She seemed to shrink.

I stood, rolled out my shoulders and moved to Siegnette's cot. Expending her last reserve of energy, she rocked onto her back to look up at me.

Everyday she was growing up and I had to remind myself of that, and that she had so much growing up left to do, so much to understand about the world. It's cliché I know, but I believe we all think it at least once per child.

"As a Milfanito you're closer to death than most, not as close as your Auntie Katie, but close enough that you should know that the living and dead can't be together. It didn't stop me or Luca though," I tapped her nose, "Sometimes it doesn't matter, you love who you love regardless of them being mouldy or not."

Forward thinking for such a time, don't you think? Now, I'm not going to get all preachy, think whatever you want to think dear reader, I have no say in the matter.

Anyway, my daughter yawned and stretched out. Bedtime.

I pulled the blanket up her her neck and gave her a kiss goodnight.

"Don't you think I'm too old for you to tuck me in?" She pulled the blanket further up, just over her chin.

I sat back down and push part of her fringe to the side, "When you were little you used to love this, getting tucked in by one of us. Then when it got all quiet and you thought it was safe, you'd sneak away from your own bed and into ours, and cuddle up with your mother."

Oh, happy memories. The girl thought so too.

"Aright, enough yapping. Head, pillow, sleep," I pressed gently on her forehead, followed by a flurry of kisses.

I received a playful bat to the face from the back of her hand.

"Stop it, Father. I get it," She giggled and returned the goodnight kiss, "Pleasant dreams yourself and I love you."

With another yawn she closed her eyes.

"Love you too, sweetness."

I used an oil lamp to light up a fag and returned to my own cot, looking at the empty space next to me.

What was Vexa up to? I settled back, blowing smoke to the ceiling. My eyelids were heavy and I stifled a yawn with my hand. Not wanting to waste the smoke, I crushed the tip and placed in on the small table beside me.

Sleep came quick. I'm not sure how long I was out, but I was awoken by shouting from outside. Officers called for their men to ready their muskets, the sound to the volley followed.

"What's happening, Father?"

"I don't know, stay here!" I ordered and threw on my uniform, grabbing my own musket and ran to find out what the commotion was about.

Outside the camp a cavalryman thundered past and not one of mine, he raised a spear and hurled it through the air. The spear landed with a wet thunk, buried deeply in chest of an infantryman. More lay dead around him. It was utter pandemonium. A shot brought the cavalryman down before any more damage could be done.

My legs pumping hard carried me to the formation of infantry where von Strepp was commanding, they were closing square. I entered before it fully closed, taking my place at the centre. Markus was also inside next to the standards.

"Who the hell are they?" I shouted above the noise.

"The natives," von Strepp shouted back, "You two had to go and kick the nest."

Three sides of the square gave fire, fending off the approaching horsemen. In return a hail of arrows fell injuring several men and killing one outright. I fired on a rider who's horse had reared rather than face the waiting bayonets, the ball punching through the mail and the man fell.

Marius revealed his spyglass, extended it in the direction of the neighbouring formations.

"Shit!" The Viscount cursed, "They've broken Heinrich's square. They can get to the inner camp now."

The inner camp…

"Siegnette!" I cried in fear, trying to break from the square to reach her.

Markus pounced on me at Marius' order, "Stay here you stupid bastard, you can't compromise the formation."

I wanted to scream 'damn the formation', my daughter was in danger! The Viscount Akandra spun me round and struck me with his fist. That didn't change a thing.

"Help repel the cavalry, then we help those in the camp," Marius spoke this time, calmly like a friend.

I took a deep breath, fought back the tears, and calmed myself.

The native cavalry charged in again, more than half being brought down under the musket fire.

A heavy sea fret rolled over us and every time a musket went off it cast a fearsome orange glow against the fog.

"Enemy infantry approaching. Shield-wall," An officer cried, "Form line."

The Sergeants repeated the order with added swearing; the square collapsed and the three ranked line appeared. I was in the third rank.

"Keep your powder dry," The Sergeant roared, "And if I find you half-loading Warren, I will personally flog you."

It was like the earlier skirmish at the farm, deja vu.

Spears bristled and axes were poised to split skulls. They were never going to get close enough to use them. What they did have was javelins and several whistled overhead, one pinning a man's leg.

The Sergeant silence the man's pained groans with a threat.

Then out of the silence the order came, give fire.

A second volley was given and a third.

"Fix bayonets."

The bloody work was coming, personal work, where we could get stuck in.

We were steadied by the officer, "Slowly now, lads. Don't charge just yet, wait for the order."

It was tense, the air, us, something was ready to snap.

"Charge you bastards!" We were finally let loose. The officer adding, "Give a cry my boys, and show them why they don't attack His Majesties army."

It was as if all the daemons of hell were coming down on the native attackers, screaming, screeching, shouting out every obscenity under the moon, guttural howls akin to base beasts. On we charged into the waiting melee.

The first rank slammed into the remaining warriors, forcing a gap. I was suddenly aware of the heat in the air, it was choking.

There were more warriors waiting behind the shattered shield-wall. I ran one through, howling some incoherent, driving the warrior to the ground. The bayonet stuck in between the man's ribs, so I reversed the musket and slammed it into the next warrior's face. Then...I don't rightly know what happened. My musket was gone and my sword was back in the tent, it was down to fighting with tooth and nail, and I wasn't the only one.

The next warrior managed to get me with his spear, that didn't stop me. Adrenaline dulled any pain and I ripped the spear from my belly, throwing it to the floor.

I gripped the shied and tore it from the man's grip, tripping him up in the process. He tried to scramble backwards when I fell upon him, tearing away at the helm. I struck him a few times with my fist, my knuckles slick with blood. With a sharp deliberate jerk, I pulled the warrior up and struck him back down with a headbutt. White hot pain spread across my temples, but I ignored it and continued with more punches.

I stopped toying with the warrior and tore out his throat with my teeth, spitting the bloodied lump of flesh and cartilage. The soldier next to me used his thumbs to gouge the eyes from the warrior under him and another used another warrior's shied against him, cracking his skull open.

There were no more natives in my view, a sudden lull swept in and I was made conscious of the pain racking my body. My hair had become loose of its ribbon, now matted with blood, dirt and other unpleasantness.

The closest soldier helped me to my feet, both of us breathing heavily and speechless.

My heart beat raced suddenly. Siegnette.

I ran back and was stopped short at the entrance, it was all burning and there were so many dead. I could only think of the worst.

Our soldiers, native warriors, camp followers, all together in their eternal sleep.

"Siegnette!" I cupped my mouth and yelled, "Siegnette!"

The hyperventilation began and the panic, the panic was far more terrible than the fighting. My tent had be razed, only the embers remained.

I think...i think my legs gave out, the memory starts to get fuzzy.

How was I going to tell Vexa?

"Sir."

I didn't react as Vixen placed his hand on my shoulder. The brute had seen fighting too, both arms covered in gore.

"Siegnette's alright," He stopped with an exhale, "I got to her and she'll live."

"What do you mean by that?" I managed weakly.

My friend led me to the surgeon's tent, both Zimmermann and Zecht were working tirelessly to save the men that had been dragged in.

Zimmermann had a saw in hand and the assistant was pinning the wounded man on the table down. Zecht finished with his own patient and came over.

"Your daughter is in the back and I've done my best, please try and understand Your Majesty, but there is a chance that she will lose the use of her left eye. It was a deep cut Siegnette received to the face," The doctor pulled back the flap to the other room.

My daughter was sat quietly, her head bandaged heavily. Streaks of blood dirtied the white cloth. She turned her head.

I ran to her side, sobbing. I cradled her gently in my arms.

"Dad's here. Dad's here."

My tears started hers and Siegnette gripped the front of my tunic. The forces that had remained stationed on the ships appeared with haste, Vexa among them. The redhead was reduced to a similar state.

How long we sat holding our little girl, I don't recall. It was light, revealing the horrors of the night before.

Burying all the dead was a long process, our dead. Their dead we had mounted on roughly made crucifixes, they would never be honoured in death.

They could be seen from the boats as we were ferried back to the ship. Damn that misunderstanding and damn those natives.

Vexa was right, none of this needed to happen.

Damn them!

* * *

 **I'm back and with another chapter of my beautiful mess.**  
 **Been a little while, hasn't it?**  
 **I hope you're all alright in these turbulent times and finding means to stave off cabin fever. I know I've been using my time wisely to procrastinate, beating Resident Evil for the umpteenth time which is getting to the point that even Barry's dialogue is getting on my nerves, trying to start writing other things (both fanfiction and original), and not edit any of this.  
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading this and I would be more than happy to know your thoughts on me dragging the story into the equivalent of the early long eighteenth century and the War of Spanish Succession style army etc.  
** **The title and song quotation are the 1982 _Split Enz_ track _Six Months in a Leaky Boat_ from the _Time and Tide_ album. I am in no way obsessed with _Split Enz...  
_** **Anyway, until next time I hope you all stay well and hopefully I'll have the next part out soon.**


	25. The Purest Daemon

She was traumatised.

My little girl too scared to go to sleep due to the nightmares. Scarred for life, both physically and mentally.

My fault.

My fault for being the aggressor.

My fault for leaving her alone.

My fault for not getting to her.

My fault for not protecting her, as her father should.

My fault…

And I wallowed in that guilt, every hour of every day, allowing it to eat away at me. Vexa at first blamed me, which didn't in any way aid my mental state. She soon stopped, telling me that our little girl still had her life and she would be alright. My wife hadn't left her side since we departed wherever that land had been, day and night spent watching over Siegnette.

I had forgotten my hatred of ships, opting to staying below decks with my family. Guilt led to paranoia that my daughter would get hurt more; I slept at the foot of the bed with my musket. Skin around my knuckles turning translucent with how tight I was gripping the piece.

I was beyond grateful to Vixen, he had protected her and gotten her to Doctor Zecht. Siegnette hadn't lost the use of her left eye, but the scar would be a constant reminder that I had failed to protect her.

"Jonathon," Vexa whispered, running her fingers through my hair.

I wasn't listening, only kept oiling my dog-lock. I kept thinking that if I kept my weapon in good condition I could avoid her getting hurt again.

"John," Vexa tried again. She reached for a crust of bread beside us and dangled it before me. The rag in my hand was dropped and oily fingers took the piece of loaf. "Thank you, my love," I tore a chunk away with my teeth, chewing 'til it was no more than mulch before swallowing.

It would have been better with some oil and not the kind on my fingers.

I propped the musket up against the cabin wall and leant back against Vexa, resting me cheek to her breast. "Is it alright for me to relax?"

The redhead sighed, gently placing her lips upon my head and leaving chaste kiss. Her heart was beating slowly. "You should have started relaxing the moment you knew Siegnette was going to be alright," She whispered into my ear.

"Vexy, I'm terrified. I..."

Her finger touched my lips.

"Blame yourself one more time husband and we will start to have problems," She warned, lifting her finger away.

I puffed out my cheeks, "If you let me finish...I want you to keep her by your side at all times. I don't trust myself any more."

A silence settled over us. We both knew I would continue to act as I did, no doubt I was still a disgrace to Lucatiel, forever the thug.

I reached for the remaining piece of loaf, nibbling at the crust. My mind began to wander, you know how it does, thinking of how I could have done it differently, if I had said something to the boy and stopped his people attacking us at the farm.

Vexa whacked my left temple. "Stop it," She snapped, then tightly gripped my fingers. The pain distracting me long enough to focus back on my loving partner. I closed my eyes and continued to focus on her heartbeat, my rock. Speaking of rock, or more specifically rocking, seasickness had taken hold of me. My hand darted to the bucket on the floor, into which I voided my stomach violently.

On my back Vexa rubbed one of her hands in a circle. It didn't help, bile burned in my throat and the nausea was excruciating, almost as bad as the guilt. Have I mentioned I fucking hate boats? Yes. Well, I fucking hate boats and the sea.

I was enveloped suddenly in a coarse woollen blanket. She hushed me, then completely taking me by surprise began singing. Now Vexa won't kid you and pretend that she has the voice of a nightingale, yet to hear her sing had the cancerous guilt within me quelled.

When she finished, Vexa placed her head on my shoulder and whispered, "Remember I'm here for you, John. Don't ever forget that. You are mine, I am yours, that's what we told each other."

Why I never put an actual ring on that woman's finger I don't know, a damn bloody shame. Hindsight though.

"Are you warm enough?"

"Freezing, my love. I'll live though," I put on my brave face, letting Vex take my full weight. "I love you, Vexy," I must have told her that a billion times.

She nuzzled her cheek against mine, "You tell me every day, I'm not likely to forget."

"You are getting on in years, senility could take your mind. I have to keep telling you before you go mad," Cracked lip split into a grin, and she whacked me over the back of the head. Unfortunately I lost control of my stomach again, coughing up more bile. When would we get off these bloody fucking boats and onto proper dry land for good?

The latch on the door clacked and the door was pulled back, Siegnette tiptoed in looking pale as a sheet. The scar down the her left side of her face was rather noticeable, the skin surrounding was a bright, burning red.

Dysentery, then that wound, and PTSD. Just what every teenage girl wants before they turn 18. Poor bairn couldn't catch a break.

"Is Father alright? You're not dying are you?" The girl already jumping to conclusions and starting to panic.

Her mother reassured her that I was fine and that it was only seasickness. She opened the blanket from around me and allowed Siegnette to clamber in, then wrapped us both up tightly. Her delicate nose wrinkled at the unpleasant mixture of gun oil and sick.

"Your father needs some time to rest, sweetie. You do too," Vexa said, with a forceful, motherly tone. It was the tone she used whenever she knew Siegnette would put up an opposition.

"Yes, Mother," The girl didn't even put up a fight, knowing better than to argue with her mother.

Vexa continued, "I don't want so much as a peep out of either of you." Standing up, she allowed us to recline on the bed, and came to rest on the seat under the rear-facing window. The churning of the water below made it look like it was being boiled, and the wind was deafening; a nice little storm was brewing.

I put my arms around my daughter, holding her securely, safely, and in full view. She couldn't be hurt when we were with her. I also had full trust in Vexa. My full, unquestioning, trust.

Siegnette woke with a heart-stopping scream as she had done every night. I didn't know what to do, I never knew what to do. Every time it scared me.

Vexa rushed to her side, hushing Siegnette and calming me. No parent wants to see their child like that.

The marine stationed outside the cabin crashed through the door. Poor man had done this every night too. None of this was good for my head. I needed fresh air and tobacco.

My clothes were thrown on hastily. "I'm going to dance my way to the _Hoplite_. See if Doctor Zecht has anything to help her sleep," I informed my partner, brushing my little girl's cheek with the back of my fingers.

As I turned to leave Vexa gripped my hand. "Don't be long. Siegnette is not the only one who needs you here," Her eyes wide, pleading with me. Even rock, as strong as they are, can become eroded.

I nodded.

Rain lashed the deck, proper oilskin weather. I was soaked to the bone the very moment I stepped outside. Lighting up a fag was put on hold. A few dour-looking marines patrolled with lamp glowing weakly, each looking more like a drowned rat that a soldier.

My march to the prow was unsteady on account of the whole ship lurching this way and that. Waves broke against the hull, spraying frigid water over the gunwale. If I caught a fucking cold…

The lanterns on the next closest ship made it easy to fix my position and made shadow-dancing a doddle. It was a fruitless journey in the end, Doctor Zecht had nothing. I returned in defeat. Vex had gotten the bairn asleep, she had worked some black magic over her. Siegnette was completely dead to the world.

The near empty decanter of rum called to me.

"Put it down, Jonathon. You don't need it tonight," Vexa's eyes flickered open, sending me an accusatory glance. The look softened and I lost my composure, breaking down into tearful sobs.

Vexa sprang from the bed, got her arms around me and pulled my head to her bosom. Her cheek was pressed to the top of my head.

"I just want to go home, Vex. I don't care for the Lordranian's, I don't care for the cunt we're supposed to be rescuing. I'm sick of it all. I'm tired. Get me home, Vexa. Get me home," The pleading became unintelligible.

"Oh Jonathon," My name was sighed, "What are we going to do with you?"

What indeed?

"Come to bed and sleep it off. A good night's rest and you will feel better," Vexa, very slowly, guided me to the cot. Once I was in she followed, gliding under the covers and held me, like I had done to Siegnette earlier. Her breath warmly brushed the back of my neck. The fingers of her right hand tightly interlocked with my own.

"Don't worry any more. I'm watching over you and her, so sleep,"Her voice, soft and silvery, was all but lost to me. The world around the bed collapsed into utter darkness and I with it. My first proper kip since our skirmish with those natives, it was well needed.

The time was lost on me, the bright light flooded through the windows. The storm had passed us and by the sound of the shitehawks screeching, all was calm.

Vexa was already awake or, to be correct, hadn't been to sleep. Dark bags hung below her eyes and the whites of her eyes were a dull red.

"I think you're meant to sleep too," I held her shoulder and pulled her on top of me.

The redhead smiled down sleepily, "The two people I love most are hurting. I can't sleep until I know you are both better."

And if she got sick due to not sleeping? I understood however, I would do the same. I cupped her cheek, "Whatever happened to the sex-crazed woman-child that I once knew. I pretty sure she wouldn't have gotten this worked up."

Vexa glared, "One evening, when you were passed out with breath stinking of drink and her private parts, I smothered her and took her place." The glare softened and a saddened frown took its place. Her muscles seemingly gave out and she collapsed on top of me.

"I had to grow up, Jonathon. I found myself with a husband and a daughter. Two things I never wanted," That was news to me, "And now I don't think I could live without you or Siegnette and that I know you understand."

"We could actually become husband and wife. We could have someone officially marry us."

Vexa shook her head, "Not a chance in hell, Johannes-Friedrich. We do not need someone to tell us that we are wife and husband. We don not need to make a vow under any God, seeing as you are one."

'The original' I thought to myself, not that I corrected Vexa. She had a point though, even though we Erebayans have kept the ceremonies and vows etc.

Marriage is one of those difficult things for we immortals, there is no death 'til we part or anything like that.

"Alright. I'd never force you, my love."

Her smile returned, brightening up her face and a warm rosy glow painting her cheeks. I took the opportunity to once again suggest making a little brother or sister for Siegnette. Vexa's external defences opened up and shot the idea down in flames.

Baby making was out of the question, snuggling was still on the table and snuggle we did. Made us both feel much better.

"Why are you always like this when I leave the room for more than five minutes?" The young Milfanito interrupted our cuddle session, shielding her eyes like normal.

Vexa craned her neck with her arms still draped around my neck. "If I have time to spend with your father, I am going to use it."

I mirrored the sentiment, "And you know sweetness, it is very difficult to find a private spot on such a small ship, unlike it is in say a palace or country estate. You've come across that problem and don't try to deny it, we both know." Siegnette's cheeks lit up a shade of pink I had never seen before. "If it makes you feel any less embarrassed, your mother still mast-"

Vexa pressed her hand tightly over my mouth and growled into my ear, "She does not need to know that, Jonathon!"

Our daughter wouldn't have heard anyway, not with how she had her hands pressed to her ears. The young Milfanito even had her eyes screwed shut. A good 30 seconds she stood like that, huffing when she re-opened them. The girl then picked up her mother's pearl-handled hair brush from the table and sat at the window, silently stroking her straw-yellow hair.

Myself and Vexa went back to cuddling.

When Siegnette was done she looked over at us. "Uncle Marius was wanting you, Father. It seemed rather important."

And I couldn't have been told this earlier? Before she had brushed her hair for 20 minutes.

I groaned, burying my face into the crook of Vexa's neck.

"Go," My wife ordered softly, "It should be a good distraction for you."

Reluctantly I clawed myself from the bed, the vacuum quickly filled by Siegnette. The girl disappeared under the blankets. I prayed that my little girl would be able to rest in peace for a few hours.

Marius von Strepp was leant against the gunwale of the quarterdeck, the tips of his powdered wig flapping in the wind. He was sucking on a pipe, gazing at a trailing frigate.

"A messenger reached us early this morning?" The Viscount spoke without looking at me, "The ships sent to scout out our first destination have made land. We're still weeks away, but we know our journey on these stinking tubs is coming to a close."

I took a moment for the information to be processed, "The bastard danced all the way from scouts? Is he still alive?"

Marius gestured yes, "He's passed out on the _Endurance_ after delivering the message."

"He passed out on the _Endurance_ ," I blinked, far too tired for jokes, "Don't take the piss, Marius."

Viscount von Strepp was not joking, the poor bastard had near enough dropped dead. It was great news however and news I had been itching for. "One step closer to home," It was so close that I could smell then white grass, feel the cool air of the eternal night.

Marius roped me back into reality, bringing up a current issue. "How's your little girl anyway? Any better?"

I shook my head.

"Try giving her warm milk before she sleeps. I know it might sound childish, but it did wonders for our Robert." Robert being Marius' bastard, the one that was currently a Sergeant in the Imperial army. The ship _Comet_ was carrying cattle, not that there were many cows left. Nothing could be lost in trying it. A marine would bring me some milk later on.

Marius went back to his pipe, then stopped me. Thin wisps of smoke leaked from his mouth and nose, "Myself and the other officers are dining this evening. If Your Majesty and the Lady von Bayer would care to join us..."

"We'll consider it," I left..

Returning to my cabin I found Vixen, he came to check up on Siegnette everyday around noon. He had pulled up a chair next to the bed, Siegnette's small hand poking out from under the covers and was clasped in her uncle's giant meat-hooks.

Vexa propped herself up on her elbow, "What did von Strepp want? Good news or bad news?"

"Bad news for Siegnette," I sighed, shaking my head.

"What is it?" The young Milfanito squeaked.

"Oh my sweet little girl, it's terrible," I wiped away a crocodile tear, "Your days of laying about in bed all day and generally being lazy are coming to an end. The long march is coming."

With a grumble and a pout, Siegnette turned her head away. "I'm not lazy, Father," Siegnette argued, looking to Vexa for support. The redhead kept her lips sealed. The girl urged Vexa with her eyes to say something debunking me.

"Well, your father is not wholly wrong. The only time you leave the bed is to eat or to..." She eyed the close-stool.

"Mother!" Hurt, betrayed and slightly embarrassed, she turned to her uncle. The brute gave her hand a squeeze, then asked not to get him involved. Siegnette tore her hand away, folding both across her chest and huffed noisily. "Were you expecting me to take long walks through this land abundant of trees and grass, perhaps take my horse for a short ride," The young Milfanito sarcastically quipped, "There isn't muchto _do_ here, other that eat and sleep."

That was true and I accepted the point, but Siegnette had missed the fact that I was having some fun at her expense. She pulled the blanket up over her nose, brown eyes set to glare. My daughter would remember this and she would get her revenge. Only on me however, too scared to try anything against her mother. She mumbled that neither her auntie Shanalotte or Katie would say such a thing.

"Sure, sweetness," I winked at her and walked over to stand next to Vixen, "We're finally getting off these boats for good. One step closer to Erebay, to home."

The smile that took to Vexa's lips warmed me through; but not once did I think about the Kellantine siblings and how the were dealing with leaving Drangleic behind.

"Anyway, my love. We're dining with the officers tonight," I leant over Siegnette to Vexa, who was holding out her arm, and pulled her up.

"What about me?" The young Milfanito grumbled from underneath the covers.

"What about you? Hardtack and salt-fish or salt-pork, the choice is yours, as it has been every night for the past several months." The choice elicited a groan from my daughter, not really sure what she was expecting. The girl fussed, telling me that the salt-fish always had a funny smell to it which lingered well after it was gone. There was truth to that, but only before it was cooked. I had no idea what Siegnette was talking about.

Vixen stayed and talked with us another half hour, then made his excuses. Then we waited, attempting to make ourselves look vaguely presentable. The redhead using what little remained of her perfume, dabbing the important parts, covering the whiffs of bodily odour with a sickly-sweet floral scent. I had nothing like that, thus had to be a scruffy bastard.

She looked divine in her dress, outshining the officers in their fancy uniforms and decorations.

It was a wonderfully raucous evening for us all, myself and Vexa leaving rather merry. There wasn't enough alcohol left to get rightly soused.

Siegnette hadn't moved an inch, well, she had rolled over onto her belly. An empty glass adorned the table, it must have contained the milk Marius spoke of.

We quietly slipped under the covers either side of her, the girl groaning sleepily and turned into her mother, draping an arm over Vexa's shoulder. The nightmares still came, not as bad as the previous times however and the girl managed to fall back to sleep within in minutes of waking up. It was going to take more than warm milk to get her back to normal.

* * *

We were on the boats another 6 weeks before we made land, passing many of the lead ships of the Dranglein navy, now empty bar their crew, on their way back to Shanalotte. I spared a moment's thought for the Herald, was she coping well with ruling Drangleic? Had she given birth to her child and was it a boy or a girl? All of that kind of nonsense. I penned a letter the night before we made land enquiring after her, confessing that I had gotten Siegnette hurt, that she was okay and missing her auntie Shanalotte. I don't even know if the letter ever reached her.

Our ship laid anchor outside a sprawling port city. Standard bearers stood at the wharf where our life-boats moored. Over the hustle and bustle of the city I could hear drums rat tat tatting away in a constant tattoo. An officer I didn't know the name of told me they had been drilling their men from the moment they had landed, the local populace wasn't overly amused to have foreign soldiers turn up on their doorstep. We were tolerated but not loved, especially since we were eating and drinking the city dry and not paying much in return. We were also a foreign army from a foreign nation they hadn't heard of, they feared we were there to invade.

Our camp was outside the city and was kind of a small city itself. Officers, rankers, camp followers, the whole shebang.

A familiar face greeted us at the centre of the camp. "Auntie Katie!" Siegnette cried jubilantly and jumped into the waiting arms of the Reaper, "I've missed you, missed you, missed you, missed you!"

"Missed you too, Seigy...wait, what happened to your face?" Katie traced the scar, then glowered at me. A low rumble came from her throat, "Explain, now."

The Reaper only turned angrier as I explained. Siegnette interjected on my behalf, trying to calm her auntie before I inevitably got hurt. The Reaper's bottle-green eyes stabbed deep regardless.

"Are you well, Vexa? It must be difficult for you," Katie put my daughter down and embraced my wife.

Vexa smiled warmed, "I will admit, looking after two children is rather tiring. But you know, he only had three mental breakdowns and only started one war. I think that is really good for him, considering how John usually is."

I kept my mouth tightly shut for a couple of seconds and then had a good moan. The old Looking-Glass Knight was in no manner humorous.

"Please do not pout, Jonathon. It does not suit you," Vexa jabbed a finger in my face. I slowly exhaled through my nose and grumbled something of little note under my breath. That something of little note landed me in big trouble.

"You see how he treats me, "The redhead put on a faux offended tone, "Is this what I deserve after so many years of being a loving wife?" Vexa sniffed and pretended to wipe away a tear. She then turned her head and her tongue darted out between her lips. She could sleep of the floor that evening, I thought.

"What's happening then?" I brought everything back to the topic of our mass exodus.

Katie scratched her cheek, "Those two Lordranians were here when we landed and _graciously_ provided us with maps. Why they couldn't have given us the maps from the start, I do not know. Looks like it's going to be rough from here on out."

When wasn't it going to be? It would be a further 3 weeks before the last of the Dranglein navy sailed away and we were at full strength.

The day we marched was miserable, rain coming down sideways and the wind bitterly cold. Marius and the other officers were leading the way on horseback and we marched through ever increasing mud. Vexa, Siegnette and Kat were travelling by carriage behind the main column, in relative comfort and style. Behind them were the supply trains and camp followers/soldier's families.

The icy mud clinging to my stockings was uncomfortable, it would be years before we introduced gaiters to the uniform. I did find some amusement in watching a small, black beetle dragging a nail. Now, what a beetle would need with a nail is beyond me, it was still a welcome distraction. Was it a kleptomaniac or did it perhaps use that nail like a sword? A fanciful notion and a silly one at that. Had fun imagining a world beneath our own, a mighty insect kingdom fallen into ruin like Drangleic and Lordran before it. This was not in fact a beetle, but a knight in black plate and it was going to save the fallen kingdom.

"Oi! You listening?" Don Kyris raised his voice to beat the wind. "You're our Emperor and I'm an Earl. Why are we walking in this piss-storm and not riding in a warm carriage?" My friend shifted his dog-lock so it sat more comfortably against his shoulder.

"Because, at this very moment in time we are both private soldiers in the Imperial army. That and I still still don't want special treatment," I splashed through a puddle, splattering my stockings in even more frigid mud.

The Earl of Andron shook his head and marched on in silence. On and on we went, over countless miles, crossing into different lands, leaving a wake of destruction behind us. The original policy was to pay for all food and necessities, that's quite difficult with 54 thousand people. When we couldn't live off the land, we stole and we pillaged, we took everything that could aid us. On several occasions our column was halted by native armies none too happy with our presence. None were able to best us. Cannon rend steel-plate, musket blast braking fighting will, pike pierced enemy hearts, heavy-cavalry crushing all souls to dust.

We were so out of place in this world, even more so now. The power of the soul could never beat flame and steel, and in some cases bronze. It may not have been so bad if we had met these men with similar weapons or if they had just left us alone. The quicker we completed this job and the way home revealed the better. That dragged bitter thoughts through my head, the want to go home depressed me. I went on however.

Even more months past, More carnage left behind us, along with our rising dead. Dysentery again tore through our ranks. This put the fright on me, fearing for Siegnette's health again. I couldn't sleep at all.

My daughter's health remained good, so it seems that I was panicking for nothing. I still couldn't sleep. I needed Vexa, but she was all the way to the rear of the column.

The only thing that got better was the fact we stopped facing opposition in the way of natives. We felt we should have; the land we marched through felt evil. To our left was a great tower spanned the sky, chains spiderwebbed from it to minor towers. An eeriness bled from the land surrounding it. Our scouts revealing the land poisoned by bogs and abominations roamed freely. Something about the place screamed magic and that meant wytches. There was no way in hell we were marching anyone through there, giving it a wide-berth gave us peace of mind.

We left that evil place behind us, driving deeper into this new land. It was an empty land, we came across few villages and even less people. Wild-life was abundant though, we never had to worry about starving.

For a few weeks we set up camp, it overlooked a narrow ravine into which a small river ran. An unpleasant stench wafted up from it every now and again, the likes you would find at a refuse pit. The more I thought about it the more it reminded me of the gutter under Majula, where the undead residence would drop their breeches and shit directly into the hole in the centre of the town.

I didn't think it wise to set our camp next to such a place. My objections were notes and never acted upon. It left me to become restless, the lack of sleep wasn't helping either.

One evening, after getting Siegnette off to slumberland next to he aunt, Vexa took me out for a long walk. She hoped that the fresh air could clear my head.

"You did not need to bring your full kit, Jonathon," The redhead fussed, grabbing the barrel of my dog-lock and tugged at it. Her lips creased into a frown and her brow furrowed. "You are allowed to relax."

I re-positioned the musket, clutching the weapon across my chest. "I feel much safer like this," I confessed. I was then suddenly gripped by the cheeks and turned to face my wife, the scowl alone would terrify most. I sighed, "Vexy, I know you're concerned. Trust me, please."

The redhead let go of my face only to take a vice-like grip of my free hand, telling me she wasn't letting go until I stopped acting like a fool. And so we walked and walked, the cool evening breeze blanketing the pair of us.

"Where do you think we are right now?" Vexa asked, plucking a blade of grass from the verge we had sat down on to watch the sun set.

I shook my head, "Not a clue. How about Boletaria, from the old man's fairy tales? Those towers we passed fit his description of Latria rather well." Luca had remained adamant up until her death that Ornstein had been full of shit about the land of Old One being real. I always believed him and the tale of the scourge of daemons that besieged Boletaria.

"We are going to Lordran, the birthplace of the first flame. I don not think this land being Boletaria is so far fetched," Vexa stood, dusting herself down, "Come on, we will can have another hour before heading back."

I smiled and held out my hand.

It didn't take long for us to stumble across an interesting sight. A closed grave and a body in well-rusted plate armour, laid against a rock nearby. There was evidence of there once been a marker or something akin sat at the head of the grave. Time had stolen the clue as to who was buried at our feet. The redhead was more interested in the armoured corpse however and dragged me over. Most of the visor on the oddly shaped helm had rusted away, the bleached skull within caught with a permanent toothy-grin.

Our of curiosity my wife removed the crumbling helm and studied it. "Is it just me or does it look a little like a squid?" She passed the helm in front of my face. I though it looked like a piece of old armour and no more. Vexa pursed her lips in annoyance. "Come on, mister. Use your imagination."

"Alright, let me have a proper look," I clamped my musket between my legs and freed up my hand, as Vexa hadn't been joking about not letting go of the other.

I should never have taken the helm, for when I did the familiar sense of nausea gripped me. When was I to be freed of the Ashen Mist Heart? This time was different through, I wasn't alone. In a heap next to me the redhead was sprawled, groaning with the same sudden nausea that had flooded me.

I scrambled over to my prone wife and raised her head from the spongy ground. Her hair was already matted with whatever muck oozed up through the floor, the red stained with a dirty brown.

"What happened?" She asked, choking back a sob. I hushed her, telling her to take a good few deep breaths first. A few gulps of the fetid air and she was as close to better as was acceptable.

I stroked her hand. "That was the gift of the Ancient Dragon and why I disappeared from time to time. We were snatched by the Ashen Mist Heart and thrown into someone's memories." Most likely whoever the helm had belonged to.

The stench hadn't escaped our notice, "Wherever the hell this place is, it stinks worse than the camp latrines."

"I don't know about that. You didn't have to sleep next to you after a few glasses of wine, I swear the covers would float," I got a good thump on the arm for that, and forcefully told me that that never ever happened. Not after she had become Erebayan anyway.

After another telling off, Vexa pushed herself up and dusted herself off. "Now, which way?"

I looked around, a set of wooden planks dropped away into a close by pit. There was not other obvious path for us to take.

Vexa harrumphed, "You know you are supposed to take me to nice places, Jonathon! Not smelly holes in the ground."

I knew better than to argue and to apologise, 'knew better' being the operative word. It wasn't my fault I couldn't control when the AMH was set off and it was she who had made me come out for a walk. You see, it was all her fault really.

"The quicker we find where this memory ends, the quicker we return to where we were," I squeezed her hand reassuringly. Vexa squeezed back, "At least you have not left me alone this time. I would have killed you if that had happened."

"I would never do it on purpose...because you'd hunt me down and I'd rather not think about what you'd do to me afterwards." I shuddered involuntary.

"Damn right I would hunt you down, because I know where you are at all times, mister," She gave me the duck lips, "Just like I would know if you had slept with any other women."

"Yes, my love," A thin smile crossed my lips, "But was that before or after we decided that we loved each other?" I was going to tease her for all it was worth, even if it cost me my life. I could see she was already becoming agitated.

"What do you mean by that? Who was she, Jonathon!?"

"Who was who, my love?" I kept my tone of voice calm, trying to sound distracted as I scanned the environment. Humid air clung to my exposed skin, hands were clammy and the stink was giving me a light head.

Vexa repeated, "Who was she?"

I didn't answer her question, there were dead littering the floor. Each grime covered, sickly, deformed, skulls warped like plague masks. "What are they?" I asked absently.

"People?" Vexa replied, sounding unsure of herself, "Reminds me of the plagued ones back in Drangleic." I remembered Lucatiel cutting one open and the vile ichor spilling out of it, but I could see some of the resemblance. The sickly green skin, the distended paunches (not as bad as those in Drangleic though) and quite frankly just diseased. Neither of us really wanted to examine the body any closer than we were. "Don't touch it," I cautioned, backing away. Vexa needn't have been told.

Rotten planks and rickety ladders took us down further into the valley. A whole rotting city had been erected in the valley, just like in the pit and from what the old man had told me, below the walls of Anor Londo. You humans amaze me sometimes, living in such inhospitable environments and thriving, I'm using the world loosely in this case.

"Next time you take me out for a date Jonathon, I want to be taken somewhere is a lot of pretty flowers and clean air, and has lots of baby deer running about and baby bunnies too," Vexa said without a hint of mirth, her face was serious. "And tell me who the other woman was?"

"I have no idea about what you're talking about, my love." She was making stories up in her head, it was written all over her. Oh, her jealousy was sweet.

"Fine," The redhead seethed, "But I will find out the truth eventually. You had better not be lying to me, Jonathon!" The exact moment she said that Vexa brought her heeled boot down on a slug or was it a leech, either way it's innards were now explosively outards. I think most people at that point would stop their teasing, not me though. Live dangerously and all that.

More ladders and platforms took us to a basin where most of the ground waters ran in to, beneath the water was just stinking mud. Not only that but the kind that sucked with every step forward, making the job to cross the basin a difficult one. I managed to fall twice, but never got my musket wet. It was my lifeline and if it didn't fire...i had a club.

Vexa spied us a set of 'islands' solid enough to walk across, but they were few a far between. What they had in common though were the decorations, even more deformed corpses. Several larger variants lay among them, leading to Vexa expressing that she wished she had her armour and sword.

I would agree, if not for the fact that everything was already dead.

The sight of fat slugs-like creatures slowly inching towards the dead turned my stomach, nasty, slimy things, didn't want to think about them eating the dead. One brushed past my shoe and I made a manly noise of discomfort.

"Now, Jonathon dear. I don't want you think I think any less of you for that scream, but grow a pair, it was only a slug."

"But it's not natural, it's slime in a skin."

"Shut up and shift your bum in that direction, John," Vexa pointed to the end of the basin where solid ground once more reigned supreme. The body of a woman in a winged helmet was propped up against the ravine wall caught our attention. Her throat had been slit, her leather jerkin soaked through with the sticky, now browning, water of life. Her skin was cool and rigor-mortis locked her fingers round her blade, she had been there a while.

There was nothing that could be done for the woman and we left her there, I loaded my musket before so. There was something dangerous ahead and I wanted to be prepared.

Dwellings eventually took the place of rock and flowing sewage, although they were as run down as everything else in the ravine.

"Hey, new faces," A grime covered woman buried within a mound of blankets announced herself and shuffled around, producing some wares. "Won't you buy something? So that I can provide for my child."

There was no such child we could see; had the woman gone mad living in the squalor? Perhaps the child too lay buried under the mountain of cloth. Vexa took my hand. " _I think we turn around and walk away from her. She_ _i_ _s unhinged_ _and I would rather not catch anything from her_ _,_ " Her voice buzzed round my brain.

" _Agreed, my love._ _Path goes to the right._ "

We smiled and walked off, the curses of the grimy woman receding into the background as we ascended into what appeared to be a temple, or had been once upon a time. Like everything else it was crumbling and little remained of its interior. I didn't want to think about what they worshipped down there, some abomination probably, it always was.

A creature wailed in pain at the centre of the room, a monstrosity wrapped in wooden panels and cloak of flies. Its heart exposed through a gaping wound, pulsing sporadically before it seized entirely, the monster falling silent with it. The flies all fell as one with the hosts death.

"All of a sudden, I don't feel that Drangleic was all that bad," I said, side stepping the monster and looking for the way out.

"You say that as if you did not like my homeland, Jonathon?" It was presented as a question, in reality it was a landmine. I was nothing but truthful though.

"Absolutely hated it, my love. I hope I never have to go back," I grinned.

Vexa slowly shook her head, "You can lie, you know," The redhead sounded disappointed, "My Mother would have despised you."

"It's a good thing she never met me then, but what does that have to do with my dislike Drangleic?"

"Nothing, I just thought that you would like to know," She turned her nose up at me with a little huff. Her eyes widened suddenly, drawn by the sound of steel clashing against steel we ran through to the next room.

We were back in the ravine, the commotion coming from two combatants. One wore the helmet that had started this whole, damned thing and the other was in a full suit of fluted-plate, wearing a bascinet with houndskull. From the outside it looked like a one-sided fight. The man in the fluted-plate was wielding a piddly little falchion and was up against a man with an overly large hammer. My money was on the hammer, as we all know you can't cut through plate.

The fluted-plate wearing falchion wielding man simply dance around the heavy hammer swings, jabbing at the openings of the other man's armour.

"You will never reach Astraea, not whilst I still draw breath and still have strength to hold my weapon."

It came to me, the man with the hammer was Garl Vinland from the old man's stories. At the very end of the ravine a woman sat, a wimple covered her blonde hair. The once white dress hanging from her thin frame stained in the filth of whatever ran through the base of the ravine. "That's the Maiden, Astraea."

I was, in a manner of speaking, awestruck. This had all actually happened.

A heavy slamming sound echoed around the narrow walls of the ravine as Garl Vinland's hammer smashed the ground. He had overreached, throwing himself off balance and at the mercy of the man in the fluted-plate. One jab at the armpit disarmed the knight, the other man sheathing his falchion and pulled out a dagger.

The maiden's eyes widened in panic, her champion, her guardian, her only friend in this valley of defilement was defeated. He was going to die, then she was going to die and her corrupted soul would go to lulling the Great Old One back to sleep.

Vexa was tightly gripping my shoulder. "Do we get involved?" My wife asked in a hushed voice, watching as intently as I was. I had already made up my mind, pulling the musket tightly to my shoulder.

The cock snapped the hammer and nothing happened. "Powder's damp," I loosed several swears. The gun then went off with a deafening bang, spewing lead and smoke at Garl Vinland's assailant. I hadn't had a hang-fire like that since Brightstone.

When the smoke cleared the man in the fluted-plate was on his knees, a round hole punched neatly through the backplate of his cuirass. Blood dribbled from underneath the faulds, thick and deep crimson. A wet gurgle became louder as I edged closer. Musket reversed, ready to club the cunt if he was still breathing when I got to him.

Not five paces from him the body went limp. Blood beaded the breaths of the visor, a glowing orb pooled at the small of his back. 13 years and I had hoped never to see another soul.

"Bloody hell, Vex," I took a breath and gagged, "Damn… bastard's shit himself. You bloody humans disgust me."

I looked across the Garl Vinland. The warrior in the strange helm was propped up against his hammer, head rocked forward. I helped him with his helmet, raising my canteen to his lips. "It's alight son, drink."

"I won't let you harm her," Vinland struggled against my attempts to help him.

"Calm down, you daft bastard. Lest you do yourself more damage."

Vexa pulled me back, away from the downed knight. "Give him a moment to get himself back together."

"We check Astraea then? Make sure she's alright."

She shook her head and told me to wait, only go when he wanted us to go down. Wait I would, taking the defensive. Those undead bastards could come back, I'd give him a 72 calibre welcome if he did.

Vexa tried where I failed with Vinland, maybe he would see reason if it was the redhead helping him. "We are not here to harm anyone, be grateful we got here when we did," She took a far sterner tone with the knight that I thought she would. The man studied my wife with suspicion, eyeing me even more so. Vex was also giving me the odd glance too.

"What're you staring at woman? Have I got one of those slugs on me!? Get it off me!"

"It is not a slug. I was just admiring you in your uniform, Jonathon," Vexa responded, the hint of a smirk on her lips, "You could do with a wash though."

"Priorities, Vex. You can work your magic on me after we've left," I smiled, then turned my attention back to Vinland. "You doing alright now, hammer boy? Want that drink?" I removed the canteen strap from my shoulder, tossing the whole package over to Vexa. The knight hesitantly took a sip from the canteen and threw it back.

"Who are you and what do you want with the Maiden? And where are you from with weapons that produce thunder and hail?"

"Far, far away, son...well, I was. My wife hasn't even been born yet. That's how far."

Vexa tilted her head. "Oh yes," Her face contorted, "That is really queer. I do not I like this feeling at all."

"What are you two babbling on about? Stop talking and help me get back down to the Maiden. But be warned, try anything with her and I will kill both of you." Using the hammer Vinland got to his feet, a little unsteady at first, held up by my yet to have been born wife. He guided us down a narrow path, part of the ravine wall eroded with time, to the basin below.

One look at what the waters carried and I couldn't take a step further, I lost control of my stomach and felt tears prick at my eyes.

Vexa dropped the injured knight and rushed to my side immediately. "John, what is the matter? Speak to me," She was calm, cradling me in her arms.

"Vex...Vexy," I was struggling to speak, the sight before me was breaking my heart, "T-those...those are. Those are babies, dead babies...hundreds...all dead..why?" Words were failing me, bile rising in my throat. I couldn't turn my eyes away.

"The stillborns, the sickly, the deformed, the unwanted. All are disposed here, all end up at the bottom of the valley," Astraea's disinterested voice reached my ears. This was a daily sight for her. I don't know how anyone could get used to it, I know I never have.

My eyes were closed for me by Vexa, her long fingers covering them and hiding the horror. "Keep them closed and keep listening to my voice. We are going to turn you around, I am going to take my hands away and you are going to focus on my eyes. We are then going to walk over to Astraea."

Her fingers peeled away and took my shoulders, spinning me to face her. I opened my eyes to see hers and only hers.

"Small steps," Vexa raised my chin, "Do not look away from me, not even for a moment." With a gentle touch she guided me away from the little ones. Every step forward she held my gaze, never allowing my eyes to stray. Before I could tell I was standing face to face with the abandoned saint.

Astraea was older that I had thought she would be, creases and crinkles lining her face. She looked tired, at the very end of her rope.

Vinland was resting against the wall, looking very pale. His face was streaked with dirt and sweat. "They never stop coming," He stretched out his hand to Astraea, which she took, the gauntlet squeaking as she wrapped her fingers around his. "I sorry, my Lady. The last one got the better of me."

The Maiden smiled reassuringly, "You are still alive, my knight. Who are they? So unaccustomed to this valley."

I was still shaken; Vexa answered on my behalf, doing her best to explain the ludicrous situation we found ourselves in. It was amazing enough that we could communicate at all, considering the time gap between the demonic invasion of Boletaria and the rise of the second Dranglein empire, that and it was a different country.

That aside, it was difficult to see if the woman truly was a daemon. You would never tell from just looking at her. But you know, books and covers.

"I don't know why you're here. You did save my knight however, I thank you for that," The Maiden shifted on her perch, the fetid water rippling around the hem of her skirt. It washed over my shoes, freezing and filthy.

I swallowed the bile in my mouth. "Right place, right time. No more." Had to keep it short, single syllables, any more and I would lose control of my stomach again. I couldn't wait for this memory to end. I remembered my hip-flask, taking a good long nip of the whiskey inside. "They will get you eventually, Astraea. There's no stopping them."

Vinland seemed to take offence, forcing himself up and in my face. "I will be there to stop them."

"Knock of the bravado, hammer boy. I watched that twat in the fancy armour dance around you and knife your armpit," I shoved against his breastplate, "Astraea should be dead now. The next time I won't be here to shoot the bastard before he slits your throat and then hers."

"Jonathon!" Vexa slapped my shoulder

The knight tightly gripped the shaft of his hammer.

"Garl," Astraea called, "The man is correct. Did you really think we could fight until the end of time?" I think he though he could. When the flag, the ideology or the person is so clear, you think you can fight for a thousand years. The bright light could never fade, yet it does and it all crumbles eventually. Only then does the world become clear.

"Do you remember why we came down here? My dear knight." Astraea beckoned him back to her side. The knight backed off, sitting beside the Maiden and she cupped his cheek. "We came to help the forgotten peoples of this valley-"  
"But then the fogs came and what you came to heal you began to corrupt," I interrupted, "You're not human any more, Astraea. Are you?"

The Maiden shook her head, "I'm afraid I'm not, Sir. I don't quite know what that fog did to me, yet here I am, changed and not for the better." She sighed and slumped her shoulders. "Abandoned by the church and by God, and now hunted by soul seekers. Poor Garl has fought off more that I can recount. All we wish is to be left alone, to be forgotten with the rest of inhabitants of this valley."

One could only wish. To the rest of us it could never happen, her soul was needed and there was no way around it. Both a beacon and a blight to the world, and that would always attract attention.

I edged closed, what was I to say to the woman? I looked to Vexa but she had nothing, my mouth remained closed. I thought and I thought, nothing coming to me and then. "You were abandoned by one god, there's another that hasn't." Granted he had only just met her and up until then thought she had been a myth.

"Please do not mock me, Sir. What God would love a monster such as I?"

I handed my weapon off to my wife, bending down and scooping up a piece of stone. I performed my little trick, then flashed _naked_ briefly. " _I wouldn't go as far as love_ ," I gave Vex a sidelong smirk, " _But I might say I respect you and Vinland for fight as long as you have, and I can't really say I respect you religious types_."

Astraea gave me a distant look and whispered the name of her own god. I shook my head and told her I wasn't hers. "The truth is you don't need any gods. Hell, I didn't even know you hairless monkeys even existed after the creation of reality, but I'll be damned if you don't always surprise me and all you do is without the aid of any god."

I mean sometimes we are involved and that doesn't always help. You know, two world wars and I was on the losing side twice.

Vexa walked behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "I am inclined to agree with my husband. You do not need a higher power watching over you."

The warmth of her body was pleasant against my back, I was so very grateful that she happened to be there with me.

"A higher power, no. A loving partner, now that's who'd I'd want watching over me," I rubbed Vexa's arm and gave it a bit of a squeeze. "It won't matter and I think you already know that. Don't give up though. You hammer b...Garl Vinland will fight until the very end. You can't win, but you can make them bleed for every step they take towards Astraea. And you, sixth saint of the church, you are not abandoned and I will never forget about you either, here or here," I tapped my chest and my head, "I can't do no more than that." I tilted my head up, catching Vexa's eyes, "Let's be off, find somewhere quiet we can wait out the rest of this memory and leave them in peace."

"Good idea, mister," The redhead bent over, kissing my cheek.

I stopped and turned before we started to climb from that accursed pit, one last thing to say to the daemon Astraea. "When the time comes, and it will, die well. Die on your own terms, not there's and I hope you find your peace."

Faintly, above the sound of the filthy waterfall, I heard her thank me and Vex. In a way I don't think she was a daemon,. They're dumb, brutish animals. Not her. I don't know what Astraea was, doubt I ever will.

Right...so, myself and Vexa returned to the shanty-town beyond the old temple. The filthy woman sneering as we approached. "Oh, returned have we? Too high and mighty to look at my wares, be gone with you…unless you dealt with that monster, the one that ruined my home, turned all my friends into those things you see. I hope it suffered."

The urge to shoot the woman was overwhelming, what did she know? Eh? It would do nothing though and I kept the musket over my shoulder and walked away. "Don't you have a pox to die of?"

Vexa yanked my arm, dragging me away to find a lovely like cavern in which to wait. When we couldn't find one of those we returned to where we started.

Ever the resourceful woman Vexa got us a fire going, spending minutes bent over a pile of rotten, soaked wood, and managed to set it away. "You better not be staring at my bum, mister," She gave her hips a bit of a wiggle.

"Who, me? No, never. I would never dream of doing such a thing," I looked up to see stars and a new moon waxing, the back down the sight of the redhead's full moon.

Vexa scooted backwards, "Stop smiling like that, you are going to make me blush."

Couldn't help it, "Glad I got stuck here with you, because I know no matter what you'll get me home alright."

"We are not home yet. All the same, someone has to be there to keep your head attached to your shoulders and that someone is me," She took my hat off and brushed my fringe aside, "I hope you never have to see _that_ ever again." The tip of her nose touched mine, green eyes full of support.

Mine closed and I sighed, "So many though."

"Hush now and think of all the thing we are going to get up to when you and I are in Erebay." A hand gently caressed my cheek, the warmth of her skin almost drown out the rising nausea.

No fire, no stars above. Bright daylight flooded into the ravine, shining down on a grave and the corpse of Garl Vinland. We were back.

I like to think that he fought his hardest to protect her and when he couldn't fight any longer, he watched over her grave. Loyalty or fanaticism, I'll let you decide that one dear reader.

"Thank you, my love," I stood, "I think it best we head back to camp...probably worried about us by now."

Oh, we got a bollocking and a good one, we were back though and that was all that mattered.

Still couldn't sleep, but who needs that.

* * *

 **Hello all, I do hope you are all doing alright.**  
 **So, I thought that going through Boletaria would be fun. I quite enjoy the fight with Garl Vinland, even though the Valley of Defilement is my least favourite area of Demon's Souls (Closely followed by the Tower of Latria). Thought it would be a good excuse to further the use of the Ashen Mist Heart. On a separate note, did anyone else find the Old king Allant fight piss easy? I did and it left me rather disappointed with the end game. Same thing happened with Gwyn. Artorias took me months, Gwyn took me two minutes.  
Anyway, if you wish to give me any suggestions of what to have John & co do in Baletaria I'm all ears. Same goes with general improvements and feedback, and yes I'm aware that there is some much to go back through. It will eventually be edited.  
As always I don't own the rights to any of the Souls games.  
Until next time.**


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